Enter the League of Fanons

by JohnPerry

Chapter 5: Nearing the End

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Chapter Five: Nearing the End

Time seemed to freeze as everyone in the room watched as the shattered remains of the Elements of Harmony slowly began to fall to the floor. The fragments of the Elements glittered brightly as they fell, taking of the appearance of a golden snowfall.

But the awesome sight did not last long, as the room began to be filled with a loud, crackling sound and a blinding white light, seemingly coming from the spot where the Elements of Harmony had just exploded. The light filled the room and everyone shielded their eyes from it before finding themselves blown back by the force of a terrific explosion.

After a moment the light began to fade and the ringing in everyone’s ears began to subside. As everyone lifted themselves from the ground, they could see they had been blown back to the edge of the room, the heroes on one side and the villains to the other. There was no trace of the Elements of Harmony and the members of the Legion of Gloom had been returned to their normal forms.

“Doctor, what have you done?!” Twilight exclaimed in horror. “How could you destroy the Elements of Harmony?!”

“Ah, but I didn’t destroy them, Twilight…” the Doctor said with a glint in his eye. “In fact, they’re right back where you picked them up.”

At this, everyone in the room responded with a loud “Huh?!

“Yes,” the Doctor began to explain. “You see, the Elements of Harmony are actually energy in purest form. And what’s one of the most basic laws of physics regarding energy?”

Everypony was silent for a moment before Pinkie starting bouncing up and down excitedly. “Ooh! Ooh! Is it that you can’t destroy energy, but only transform or transfer it?”

“Exactly,” the Doctor smiled.

“Well, glad you got the science lesson in there for the kiddies,” Derpy said sarcastically, her eyes rolling in opposite directions. The Doctor chose to ignore this statement.

“But don’t you see what you have here? The purest form of magic, and the only way you can use it is to call upon the magic of friendship! You brilliant ponies, your ancestors created a source of power that’s both indestructible and incorruptible!”

“But if they’re indestructible, then where are they?” Twilight asked.

“Right back where they always were: within you lot!” the Doctor answered. “The big crown thing and the necklaces are just one form of the Elements, and when I cracked those I just released the energy – hence the big boom – and transferred it back to you! Oh, I am good!” he finished with ill-disguised pride in his voice.

The six mares looked at each other before their faces broke out into smiles. Their bodies began to glow again, and a few seconds later they were wearing the physical objects of the Elements of Harmony once again.

“Yes yes, all well and good then…” The Author muttered. “But you seem to be forgetting something. A) We’re still here. B) You still can’t use the Elements against us. And most importantly, C) I am still the all-powerful Author character who can wave his hooves and make you all vanish at his whim.”

“If that was really true,” the Doctor shot back. “Then you wouldn’t let us do what we’re about to do. League of Fanons, assemble!”

The other members of the League galloped forward to form a neat line alongside the Doctor, with Octavia and DJ Pon3 on his right and Derpy, Luna and Bon and Bon on his left.

Bon Bon reared on her hind legs. “League, let us call upon the other Elements!” she cheered.

Other elements?” Photo Finish replied. “Vaht other elements?”

“Elements that can trump any power you throw at us!” the Doctor cried as the figures of the League of Fanons began to glow brightly. “We call upon…The Elements of Fiction!

“DJ Pon3,” the Doctor announced. “Because no story about a team of heroes is complete without someone with technical know-how, because it makes the readers feel better about sitting in front of the tele or the computer all the time, represents the Element of…Geekiness!

“Sweet,” DJ Pon3 nodded appreciatively as a bejeweled necklace with the icon of a pair of horn-rimmed glasses appeared on her.

“Octavia,” the Doctor continued. “Who displayed cool calmness, makes witty retorts and has a totally wicked sword, represents the Element of…Bad Flankery!

“Hmph,” Octavia hmphed, holding herself up in a dignified pose as a necklace with the icon of a pony skull with two crossed machine guns beneath it materialized around her neck.

“Lyra and Bon Bon,” the Doctor said. “Whose antics relieve the tension of the situation, represent the Element of…Comic Relief!

Lyra and Bon Bon squealed with delight and hugged each other as two necklaces, each with a comedy mask embedded on them, appeared around their necks.

“Derpy,” the Doctor continued. “Who stands as the character the audience will identify with, always pointing out the flaws in the story and expressing the opinions of the readers, represents the Element of…the Audience Surrogate!

“Wow, really catchy name there…” Derpy sighed, shaking her head as a necklace with the icon of several question marks shone on her neck.

“And I,” the Doctor said, drawing himself up proudly. “Who constantly dumps background information on to the other characters and occasionally informs the readers of the themes and important aspects of the story, represent the Element of…Exposition!” He reared up on his hind legs as the final necklace appeared upon him, this one with a speech bubble for its icon.

The Author stepped back in horror as the Elements of Fiction glowed even more brightly than ever. “Legion of Gloom! Assemble – we need to take down this threat together!”

“How? The Great and Powerful Her Royal Highness Princess Trixie sees nothing we can do!” The Great and Powerful Her Royal Highness Princess Trixie replied.

GAGH! My own creation dares to question my will?! And that joke is getting old!” The Author cried.

“You see Author,” the Doctor smiled. “When Elements of Fiction such as us call upon this power, they can bring an end to any bothersome aspects of a story.”

“You can’t defeat me!” The Author yelled, his horn now glowing brightly. “I am The Author! I WILL YOUR POWER AWAY! I WILL IT AWAY!

The Author’s horn sent out a burst of magical energy. Nothing happened.

“It’s time to meet your maker!” Lyra cried, pointing a hoof at The Author.

“I am my maker!” The Author shot back, but looked increasingly fearful as the Elements of Fiction began to float into the air, radiating with energy. The Doctor opened his eyes – they were glowing brightly.

The Author’s gaze grew stern. “You may take me, but you won’t destroy my creation!” With that his horn glowed brightly one last time as the Legion of Gloom vanished from the spot, teleported to Celestia-knows-where.

The Elements of Fiction unleashed a beam of energy which looked as if it was composed of words, hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of words that circled around each other viciously. They encircled The Author, who screamed as the tip of his horn began to flake off into small letters. Slowly he dissolved into words that joined the others racing around him as first his wings vanished, then his head and tail, then his body and finally his hooves until nothing was left.

The words swirled together into a tornado, spinning faster and faster until it began encircling itself, shrinking into a growing ball of energy that finally winked out of existence. The Elements of Fiction stopped glowing as they returned to the ground, looking upon the scene with immense satisfaction.

The Elements of Harmony were looking at the League of Fanons with their mouths agape, slowly realizing what they had just witnessed. Suddenly there was an intense scream as Fluttershy started bouncing up and down. “THAT WAS AMAZING! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” she squealed with delight.

When they finally came to, the other Elements of Harmony nodded appreciatively. They and the League of Fanons started congratulating each other, recounting their favorite moments from the battle and admiring each other’s necklaces. A loud humming sound filled the room as the TARDIS, now free of The Author’s influence, rematerialized in the room and Gummy and Angel hopped out.

“Good job, everypony,” Rainbow Dash said happily. “Still, it’s a shame we couldn’t capture the Legion of Gloom…” she frowned as she looked at the spot where they had been standing before The Author transported them away.

“We should inform Princess Celestia about them immediately!” Twilight said. “Then she can put out a search for them!”

“A good idea,” the Doctor replied. “But I have a feeling The Author has made sure they won’t be easily captured. Still, the kingdom should be warned of their treachery, lest The Author ever attempt to write a sequel to this story.”

“Celestia help us if that ever happens…” Derpy muttered darkly.


And so harmony was restored to the kingdom of Equestria once again. The Elements of Harmony returned to Canterlot and explained to Princess Celestia all that happened. Because the League of Fanons (particularly the Doctor) preferred to work from the shadows, Princess Celestia promised to keep what had happened a secret.

The Legion of Gloom went into hiding and none of its members have yet to be found. As of the time of this writing, Prince Blueblood, The Great and Powerful Her Royal Highness Princess Trixie (they’re still working on reversing The Author’s spell), Gilda, Photo Finish, and the three members of the Diamond Dogs are wanted by Equestrian authorities for “questioning,” but no leads have surfaced.

Life returned to normal for the Elements of Harmony after they returned to Ponyville, and life returned to whatever passed for normal for the Doctor and his companion Derpy, who continue to go on adventures through space and time, occasionally aided by the other members of the League of Fanons who continue to work out of Trotswood. DJ Pon3 and Octavia are still popular musicians residing in Canterlot while Lyra and Bon Bon are still widely assumed to be normal ponies living in Ponyville.


Aboard the TARDIS, the Doctor threw a lever to send the time machine traveling through space and time once more. Derpy was standing nearby, her eyes crossed in a look of concentration.

“It just doesn’t seem to add up though…” she muttered quietly. “Here was the very author of the story, and he gets taken out by his own tale?”

“Well, we did use the Elements of Fiction against him…” the Doctor replied.

“But it seems too easy somehow…what if he wanted to get destroyed? Was he bluffing about joining the Legion of Gloom this whole time?” Derpy asked.

“I don’t think he was bluffing, he really wasn’t that good a liar,” the Doctor said. “Unless…”

“Unless what?” Derpy said excitedly.

The two ponies stared at each other for a moment, revelation dawning on them.

“You don’t think…?” Derpy began.

No…” the Doctor gasped.

“But it all makes sense!” Derpy was practically bouncing with excitement at this point.

“Oh, how could we have been so blind!” the Doctor cried dramatically.

“That wasn’t a self-insert, was it?” Derpy asked.

“Oh no no, it was still a self-insert,” the Doctor corrected. “But it was a mock self-insert. A self-insert whose purpose is to make fun of self-inserts.”

The Doctor grinned wildly. “Derpy, we were in a comedy the whole time and we were acting too seriously to see it!”

Derpy facehoofed. “Oh Celestia, it seems so obvious now!” She paused before looking at the Doctor again. “But what he said about saving the Legion of Gloom after the reaction to his first story…do you think that might be true?”

The Doctor nodded. “Undoubtedly. Which means the first story would have left off at the battle in the Froggy Bottom Bog…”

“When Twilight and her friends got their memories wiped,” Derpy said. “Wait…you don’t think…that’s how he ended it?”

“Waking up in your house to find out the whole thing was a dream,” the Doctor said. “A rather terribly clichéd ending, wouldn’t you say?”

Derpy smiled. “Doctor, can you do something for me?”


“…Oh sure, the idea of a team of supervillains, well that’s just comedic gold, but when the time comes to actually make them do something you drop the ball! And here I was really enjoying myself!” Derpy yelled at Twilight, who was staring back with an expression of confusion and disbelief. Finally Derpy turned around to scream at the sky. “STORY! I WANT TO SEE YOUR SUPERVISOR! THIS WILL NOT DO!”

She took to the air, leaving Twilight struggling to comprehend what had just happened. Derpy sailed over to the edge of Ponyville, where the Doctor was waiting for her, standing next to the TARDIS with a grin on his face.

“Was that really necessary?” he said.

“Twilight might not understand, but hopefully somepony’s watching at the moment,” Derpy replied. “Somepony’s got to make sure he gets the message, and it might as well be now.”

“You’re getting awfully good at this time traveling stuff, you know that?” the Doctor said, holding the door open to let Derpy inside.

“Let’s just hope The Author’s learned his lesson,” Derpy muttered.

Indeed he had. The door of the TARDIS closed and the time machine vanished with another loud humming noise as normality returned to Ponyville once again.

Or did it?

For as the TARDIS dematerialized, a large boulder that was sitting behind the time machine now became visible. It was a rather plain looking rock, unremarkable in seemingly every way save for its size.

And yet, despite having no visible mouth, it spoke.

“Yes, very good…let your guard down, foalish ponies…become complacent once again while I work from the shadows. I’ve got nothing but time and the patience to bear it…after all, I am a boulder.”

The boulder shifted in place before rolling onto its side. Then it rolled over again, inching its way slowly down the road.

“Don’t think you cast me aside so easily, ponies…” it muttered. “Elements of Harmony, League of Fanons… you all shall hear from me soon enough…”

The boulder paused for a second to deliver his ultimatum:

“Be afraid, my little ponies…For Here Comes Tom!


Return to Story Description

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