Enter the League of Fanons

by JohnPerry

Chapter 1: The Doctor Makes a House Call

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Author’s note: This is a sequel to my earlier story, Legion of Gloom, so read that first if you haven’t already, otherwise nothing in here is going to make any sense. This story is also my excuse to throw in a lot of Doctor Who references, and while you shouldn’t necessarily need to be familiar with that show to follow along, consider yourself warned.

Chapter One: The Doctor Makes a House Call

A sharp crash. Prince Blueblood diving towards Trixie. Sirens. An explosion. Exposed sky. The world melting away. A flash of white. The bedroom ceiling.

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes were open now, staring up at the sunlit room she slept in. She was trying to discern whether this was part of the dream or if she was awake now, before coming to the realization that if she was considering the possibility she was dreaming, then most likely she was no longer dreaming.

She rolled over on her bed, trying to put the images of her dream together to form some kind of coherent train of events. But the more she tried to piece it together the more it was slipping from her and after a moment all Twilight could remember from her dream was a vague feeling of confusion and the fact that she had experienced this dream before.

There was a loud knock at the door downstairs. “Why do ponies always seem to come to the library right after I wake up?” Twilight muttered to herself, lifting herself from her bed. “Well, at least Spike will get it…”

The knock came a second time. Twilight ignored it, brushing her mane instead. The knock came a third time, louder and more repetitive this time.

That’s when Twilight realized Spike was away on royal business. She gasped, causing the brush she had been magically levitating to drop on to her head. Cursing under her breath, she raced downstairs and wrenched the door open.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to take so long!” Twilight gasped. “Welcome to the Ponyville Library, how can I help you?”

“Ah, Twilight Sparkle, I presume?” a cheerful voice rang out. On her doorstep was a brown Earth pony with an hourglass cutie mark wearing a light brown overcoat, standing next to a gray pegasus with crossed eyes who seemed to be staring at nothing in particular at the moment and with her tongue sticking out. The Earth pony was addressing her. “Anyway, don’t worry about taking too long, I have all the time in the world! In fact, I have all the time of several worlds. Possibly even the whole universe, I haven’t actually added it all up yet.”

Before Twilight could think of anything to say to this, the Earth pony had pushed past her inside, followed by the gray pegasus. “Ah, libraries!” he exclaimed, taking in the whole room. “So full of knowledge and wonderment and great stories!” At this he pulled a random book off the shelf and glanced at the cover, which had the word Spiderses printed on it. “Well, mostly great stories,” he muttered, tossing the book on the floor. Twilight was about to object to such blatantly poor treatment of library property (even if it was such horribly written material), but the Earth pony had strolled up to her and was looking intently into her face.

“But we’re here for another great story, one not printed in a book. And you’ll be the one to tell us it, Twilight Sparkle,” he said.

“You…I…what?” Twilight sputtered, not able to make heads or tails of any of this.

“But you can’t, can you?” the Earth pony said, looking deeply into Twilight’s eyes before reaching into a coat pocket and retrieving a small metallic object with his mouth. It flashed briefly and made a sharp reverberating noise as the Earth pony waved it in the direction of Twilight. “Blocked, just as I thought.” He put the object back into his pocket. ”Well Ms. Sparkle, you have a story locked away and I am your key. Disregard that metaphor by the way, because it was horrible.”

“That…this…I…you…” Twilight stammered. “…I’m very confused,” she finished weakly.

“Yeah, he has that effect on ponies,” the gray pegasus said, smiling. “This is the Doctor, and you can call me Derpy.”

“Oy, don’t be introducing me!” the Doctor cried. “I prefer to introduce myself, you know that!”

“But you didn’t. So I thought I would,” Derpy smiled.

“I did too…” the Doctor said uncomfortably, before turning back to Twilight. “I’m the Doctor, by the way,” he muttered in a quiet voice. “Oh, shut up,” he said, catching sight of Derpy rolling her eyes in opposite directions.

“So…what’s this about?” Twilight asked, looking from the Doctor to Derpy and back again.

“Well strictly speaking, only you fully know the answer to that question. So we just need you to come with us!” he exclaimed, pulling Twilight out the door.

“Don’t worry, you get used to it,” Derpy said, winking at Twilight, which only served to make her crossed eye appearance even stranger.


“The Great and Powerful Trixie will call this meeting of the Legion of Gloom to order!” Trixie exclaimed, her voice ringing through the spacious yet dimly lit hall. “First, the Great and Powerful Trixie will go over the minutes of the previous meeting!”

“Oh, for the love of…” Gilda muttered, putting a claw to her forehead. “When we have ever kept minutes of our meetings?”

“Since the last meeting, half-breed,” Trixie growled. “When I assigned you the job of keeping minutes and you agreed!”

“What…I did not!” Gilda cried.

“Actually, you kinda did…” one of the Diamond Dogs said warily.

“As someone who attended the previous meeting, I too can assert to your agreement in this matter,” Prince Blueblood chimed in. “I believe the exact words you spoke to Trixie-“

The Great and Powerful Trixie,” Trixie interrupted.

“-went as follows: ‘What? Oh yeah. Sure. Whatev.’ Then you placed your earbuds back on and resumed banging your head in time to that atrocious music you listen to,” the Prince finished. “Then again, I can’t be completely sure those were your exact words, since we don’t have the minutes from the previous meeting.”

“Ve are vaisting our time vit zis!” Photo Finish said sharply. “Ze minutes do not matter, ze Flootershy and her companions do!”

“Oui, zat is correct Madame!” Madame LeFlour said, waving her appendages in the air and sitting next to Rocky, Mr. Turnip and Sir Lints-a-Lot. But once again, no one else in the room seemed to hear her. Photo Finish looked sideways at the inanimate objects sitting next to her. “Vaht is a sack of flooer, a bucket of-“

“I DON’T KNOW WHY THERE’S A BUNCH OF JUNK SITTING THERE!” Trixie yelled. “I didn’t put it there, I don’t know who keeps putting it there, and I don’t care! I mean…The Great and Powerful Trixie does not care! Can we just forget the stupid objects already?!?”

Everyone in the room was silent for a moment after this outburst, and for a while the only sound in the room was Trixie’s heavy breathing. Finally, the blue unicorn straightened up in her seat.

“Very well, since we don’t have any minutes from the previous meeting to go over…” at this she glared at Gilda. “Then the Great and Powerful Trixie will explain our next plan to defeat the meddling Twilight Sparkle and her friends!”

“Which is what we should have been doing the whole time…” Gilda muttered under her breath, crossing her front legs.

“Now then,” Prince Blueblood stood up. “My sources in the Royal Government have informed me that Twilight Sparkle is not only Princess Celestia’s prized student, but that she and her five friends are the bearers of the source of an incredibly powerful magic. In fact, it was this very magic that drove the influence of Nightmare Moon from Princess Luna and as far as we know, there is no creature in this world that can stand before its might. Now while the six are the bearers, the objects of the magic themselves are located here in Canterlot.”

“Fillies and gentlecolts…and…other…creatures,” the Prince said awkwardly. “We have found their greatest strength…and their greatest weakness. If we were able to get our hooves on those objects, we could defeat them easily!”

“Brilliant, my Prince!” Trixie exclaimed.

“Ah, but not as brilliant as you, my sweet…” the Prince replied, leaning in for a kiss.

“Here we go…” the Diamond Dogs sighed in unison.

“Before zis…atrocity can begin…” Photo Finish shuddered darkly. “I must ask: vere are zese objects located?”

“It’s an ill-kept secret among the Royal Guard that the Elements of Harmony are locked away in a vault in one of the main towers,” Prince Blueblood explained. “But this vault can only be opened by one of the Princesses.”

There was silence for a moment following this announcement. Then Gilda spoke up. “So you mean to tell me that our best weapon against those lame ponies is completely out of our reach?!?

“Now now, Gilda…” a new voice said softly. “I wouldn’t say that…”

The voice came from a figure standing behind the table at the end of the room, facing away from the table and obscured by shadow. But even at a distance he was a tall, imposing figure.

The figure bowed his head slowly, as if in thought. “There are locked away, yes…but those are but the physical manifestations of their power. The true power of this magic lies within the spirit of the six ponies who possess them, and those ponies will call upon that power at their time of greatest need.”

He turned to face the Legion of Gloom. “That will be the opportune moment. Push them to call upon that power, and when they are about to use it…” he raised a hoof and smashed it on to the ground, sending cracks spreading from the spot he hit. “…then we strike.”

“Sounds risky,” Prince Blueblood said warily. “You’re saying we have to strike after they call upon the power, but before they actually use it. Our window of opportunity is very small…”

“Oh ye of little faith,” the figure chortled. “Remember who you are speaking to. Was it not I who saved you from the dome in the swamp when your enemies had you cornered? And was it not I who erased their memories so that you can strike from the shadows once more?”

The figure smiled maliciously. “You are speaking to one of unimaginable power. Trust me – this time you all shall succeed.”

“So how do we find them?” Gilda asked, narrowing her eyes.

“We do not need to,” the figure responded. “We merely have to wait…and they will come to us.”

Photo Finish spoke up. “I must ask…Vaht is ze name of zis magics?”

“This magic…” the figure said. “Is called…”


“The Elements of Harmony!” the Doctor cheered. “A pleasure to meet you, each and every one of you!”

The Doctor was standing next to Derpy Hooves addressing Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity. After grabbing Twilight, the Doctor and Derpy had rather forcefully retrieved each of the others one by one, assuring them that their presence was essential before taking them to a small clearing near Ponyville where there was a blue box with POLICE STABLE printed on the side, similar to the ones that had been common in large Equestrian cities decades ago. The Doctor had led them inside, where to the shock of the six mares they found a large, futuristic room made of metal arranged around a single control station in the middle of the room.

“I know, I know, bigger on the inside, right?” the Doctor had said gleefully, galloping around the room and hitting a few buttons seemingly at random (which, for all intents and purposes, he may have been). After the usual reactions of disbelief and explanations that yes, this was in fact a time machine finally subsided, the Doctor set about explaining their situation.

“You see, an event of crucial importance has occurred in your timeline but for some reason you have a block on your memory centers so you are unable to recall the details of said event except in the form of subconscious images during the stages of sleep,” he said very quickly.

There was silence for a moment. “…Ah…may not have been able to follow all that,” Applejack said in a confused tone.

“Oh, silly!” Pinkie exclaimed. “He said something happened to us but we don’t remember it, except in our dreams!” She seemed to be taking the discovery of a time machine and an apparently mad pony in charge of it all in stride.

“Oh,” Applejack said. “That makes a little more sense…I guess.”

“Actually no, it doesn’t,” the Doctor said. “Why would anypony want to block your memories? What could have possibly happened that somepony…or something…wouldn’t want you to remember?” Once again he pulled out the metallic object in his pocket and waved it over each of the six mares in turn.

“Um…if I may…” Twilight asked slowly. “What exactly is that thing?”

“Sonic Screwdriver!” the Doctor said proudly through the object clenched in his teeth. “Never leave your temporal dimension without one, trust me. Unlocks doors, tracks life forms, controls devices, and performs medical scans, which is what I’m doing with it now.” He ran the screwdriver over Pinkie and spat the device into his front hoof to examine it. “Now that’s interesting…but not important at the moment. Anyway, each of you has the same reading: blocked memory cells that come from the same source.”

“Well, wait!” Pinkie cried. “We’re in a time machine, aren’t we? So let’s just go back and see what happened ourselves!”

“Actually, we already thought of that,” Derpy said, her eyes sliding in opposite directions. “But something kept blocking us. I got to break through a couple of times by delivering some mail, but each time something forced me out before I could learn very much.”

“Basically,” the Doctor continued. “The structure of events you experienced followed a specific, largely predetermined framework, and we could only access it if our appearance fit within that framework.”

“And there’s lot of these frameworks! We call them ‘stories,’” Derpy concluded.

“And here I thought you were just a simple clockmaker and a friendly mailmare,” Rarity said, admiration creeping into her voice.

“Nope!” the Doctor said cheerfully. “But that would make for an interesting story…somepony should really write that. Maybe with ‘clock’ or ‘tock’ in my name somewhere, that’d be cool. Or I can just be called…Bob. I always wanted to be called Bob.”

“So…wait,” Twilight was looking at Derpy. “What you were saying about stories…Is this why you came to my house yelling to me about dreams and clichés and what not?”

Derpy tilted her head, her eyes sliding apart as she did so. “What now?”

“You…came to my house? Yelled ‘story, I want to see your supervisor’ before you flew off? …Remember?”

Derpy’s eyes slid further apart. “…No.”

“Oh. Well…never mind then,” Twilight muttered.

Derpy turned to the Doctor. “I think it’s time we introduced them to the League.”

“Absolutely!” the Doctor cried, dashing over to the control panel in the middle of the room. “Hold on, everypony! Things are about to get interesting.” At that he dramatically threw down a switch and a deep humming noise filled the room, apparently coming from a pulsating object in the middle of the column at the center of the room. The floor beneath them shook and everypony barely managed to grab something to keep them steady. After a moment, the noise and the shaking abruptly stopped.

“Fillies and gentlecolts...” the Doctor said, approaching the door. “Well, I suppose I’m the only gentlecolt here…” he muttered as he opened the door. “Welcome to Trotswood!”

The six mares gasped as they trotted out through the door. The shock was the result of two reactions – one was surprise at the fact that they were now in a completely different location, and the second was their admiration of the breathtaking room they were now standing in. It was spacious with high ceilings, painted gleaming white with splendid décor, fit for royalty. And there was only one city in all of Equestria with architecture this fine: Canterlot.

On the floor was shelf after shelf of fantastic looking equipment. Some of it looked incredibly futuristic, while other items looked like they belonged in a museum. But perhaps the most obvious aspect of these shelves was the clutter: there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the placement of any of these objects. An abacus was sitting atop a tank of green bubbling liquid, which was positioned next to an anvil with several records perched on top. An old compass was pointing at a small silvery thin box with what looked like the icon of an apple with a bite taken out of it embedded on top. A cupcake with an actual bite taken out of it sat on the shelf below. A large computer mainframe with dials, flashing lights and various indicators beeped occasionally nearby. It was too much for the six mares to take in all at once.

“Hello there!” a friendly voice called out. The attention of the six mares was brought to an occupant of the room who had gone unnoticed amidst the architecture and contents of the space. Their greeter was a familiar Earth pony with a pale cream coat, a pink stripe in her navy blue mane and a cutie mark consisting of three wrapped candies. Twilight knew she had seen her around Ponyville before, but she couldn’t remember her name.

“Bon Bon!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing forward to greet her. Twilight smiled. Of course Pinkie would know everypony in Ponyville. Bon Bon greeted Pinkie warmly before turning around.

“Lyra!” Bon Bon called out. “Everypony, all of you, get out here! We’ve got visitors!”

The aforementioned mint green pony stepped out from behind a shelf full of equipment, her face shining as brightly as her cutie mark of a gold lyre on her flank. She offered them a cheery wave before two other ponies followed her out from behind the shelves. One was a gray mare with a flowing dark gray mane and the cutie mark of a treble clef – Twilight recalled seeing her at the Grand Galloping Gala and figured she must have been one of the musicians there. The second pony was a white colored pony with a wild, spiky mane of blue and cyan stripes, a cutie mark of a double quaver and wearing thick black goggles with purple lenses – the same pony who had been the DJ at Rarity’s fashion show for Hoity Toity.

“Everypony,” the Doctor said, stepping forward. “This is Octavia and this is DJ Pon3, two of Equestria’s most talented and yet perhaps most different musicians. You’ve already met Lyra, Bon Bon and Derpy, and I of course am the Doctor.”

Octavia stood up on her hind legs, drawing herself up impressively. “And together,” she announced in a crisp, clear voice which carried through the room. “We are the League of Fanons.”

Next Chapter: Meet the Fanons Estimated time remaining: 46 Minutes
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