Legion of Gloom

by JohnPerry

Chapter 1: The Legion Rises

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Chapter One: The Legion Rises

Few ponies ever went anywhere near the Froggy Bottom Bog. There were enough terrifying monsters living in its muck to scare off even the boldest of travelers, and its location in the midst of the Everfree Forest did a remarkable job of isolating it from most of ponykind. As such, it was not the ideal place to construct any kind of building.

And yet, a building there was. Rising out of the mud was a domed, ominous structure overlooking the swamp it was sitting in the midst of. And within this building constructed by pony hooves was probably the strangest gathering Equestria ever saw…

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will now call this meeting to order!” a boastful voice rang through the large, dimly-lit hall. The sound came from a blue unicorn wearing a flashy cape and pointed hat who was sitting at the center of a long table with several other figures.

“Psht. Whatever,” an unimpressed-looking griffon rolled her eyes. She had her front legs crossed and was sitting at the end of the table to the right of the unicorn.

Silence, half-breed!” Trixie screamed. “You should consider yourself thankful to be addressed by The Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“HALF-BREED?!” the griffon shouted back, standing up on her hind legs. “When I’m through with you, you’ll be lucky if there’s half of you left!”

Three bulky figures who had been sitting between the unicorn and the griffon now stood up. “This not time for fight,” the biggest one grunted.

“Yes!” the smallest one squeaked. “Bigger problem to worry about!”

The griffon glared at the unicorn for a moment, but then sighed and sat down. “These dweebs might have a point. I’ve got a bigger fish to fry.”

“Then The Great and Powerful Trixie will begin this first meeting of the Legion of Gloom!” the unicorn announced, standing up. “Using my amazing feats of magic, I have located all of those who have been wronged by the inferior Twilight Sparkle and her companions! You have been brought here so that we may enact our glorious revenge!”
Trixie sat down. “In order to better understand our fellow comrades, The Great and Powerful Trixie will ask all of you to introduce yourself and explain why you have joined this most amazing of organizations! We’ll start with you, creature,” she added, gesturing at the griffon.

“You’d better watch it…” the griffon growled, then ran a claw over her head to make her feathers more impressive. “Name’s Gilda. I was an old friend of Rainbow Dash’s, until she started hanging out with that group of dweebs. Especially that lame-o Pinkie. Ooh, when I get my claws on that little pink rat…” she emphasized the point by digging her claws into the table, making a horrible screeching noise.

“STOP THE NOISES!!!” the bulky creatures had their claws over their ears, flinching at the sound Gilda was making. “It’s as bad as the pony!”

“What is your story then, foul-smelling beasts?” Trixie said to the three creatures.

“We are Diamond Dogs!” one of them spoke up. “We wanted the pony to find us precious diamonds, but then the noises she made! It was horrible! And after all we did for the pony, in the end we got no precious diamonds!”

Trixie turned to the figure on her left. “And what about you, four eyes?”

The very finely dressed pony Trixie was addressing gave a short huff. “I vill be addressed by my proper name: PHOTO FINISH!” She emphasized her name by speaking it extra quickly while making a dramatic pose. “I, Photo Finish, am ze finest fashion photographer in all of Eqvestria! I just point and capture…ze magics!” she added, emphasizing the last two words while holding her hoof in the air. “I vas the one who discovered ze Flootershy! Ah, her grace! Her innocence! I vould have made millions with her working for me! But Flootershy abandoned me to live out a life of…mediocrity!” she emphasized darkly.

“Well we are after that deespeecable Pinkie Pie!” a sack of flour sitting on the other side of Photo Finish slammed an appendage on the table.

“Yes! We sought to comfort her after her friends abandoned her, but she had the gall to turn her back on us!” a ball of lint sitting nearby said.

“And to think! Her hanging out with that bunch of lo-sers!” a stack of rocks shouted.

“Completely uncalled for…” a bucket of turnips muttered.

However, no one sitting at the table seemed to have heard the four objects. One of the Diamond Dogs gave a confused look at the group of inanimate objects at the end of the table.

“Um, why is there a bucket of turnips, a sack of flour, a bunch of rocks, and a ball of lint sitting over there?” he asked, pointing at the objects.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie…does not know,” Trixie admitted. “They were not here earlier…”

Trixie then stood up again. “Well, The Great and Powerful Trixie’s problems far outweigh your pathetic concerns! For you see, the inferior Twilight Sparkle had the gall to upstage a gifted magician such as myself! After dazzling the simple-minded village folk with the tale of how The Great and Powerful Trixie defeated an Ursa Major, that inferior Sparkle – obviously fueled by jealousy – sought to convince a couple of the simpletons in the village to release a monster and catch me off-guard, to make of a foal of me! I mean…to make a foal of The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie said, catching her mistake.

“And let us not forget the one who made this meeting possible…” a voice from behind Trixie called out. The voice belonged to somepony sitting behind a chair, facing away from the group. “The one who put the money forward to build this secure location and safely transport you all here,” the chair spun around to reveal a white, handsome stallion with a flowing mane of hair.

Trixie looked at the stallion with a sinister smile. “Nopony could forget you, Prince Blueblood.”

The prince got up and trotted over to the table. “As for myself, I was attacked by that ferocious Rarity at the Grand Galloping Gala! That barbarian and her commoner friends sought to destroy the Gala and humiliate me in front of my adoring public!”

“Then let’s kick their flank already!” Gilda shouted, slamming a fist on to the table.

“It is not so simple…” Prince Blueblood muttered. “You see, Twilight Sparkle is none other than Princess Celestia’s prized student. Ms. Sparkle and her friends have close contact with both of the princesses, so we must exercise caution.”

“Then zis is hopeless!” Photo Finish cried. “How are ve to get to them ven zey are so well-connected?”

Suddenly, there was a loud booming noise echoing around the room. Everypony in the room tensed, trying to find the source of the sound. After a moment it came again, and they realized it was coming from one wall at the end of the hall. Trixie approached the wall slowly, reaching up to press a hoof-sized button on the wall. A section of the wall recessed and slid away, revealing the swamp outside.

“Special delivery!” a cheerful-looking gray pegasus with crossed eyes was hovering in front of Trixie, holding out a box for her to take.

“What the…What are you doing here?” Trixie demanded.

“I’m making a cameo!” the pegasus replied cheerfully.

“You’re…what? Wait, are you spying on us? Did you hear anything we said?” Trixie growled.

“Nope!” the pegasus said happily. “I definitely didn’t hear anypony making evil plans about enacting revenge! Heh, that’d be silly!”

“Oh…well…good then!” Trixie muttered. “But how did you find this place?”

“It was on the box, of course!” the pegasus said, pointing at the address label on the package. Sure enough, there it was:

Legion of Gloom

1 Ominous-looking Building

Froggy Bottom Bog, Everfree Forest

“Oh…” Trixie said, unsure what to make of this. She was surprised this cross-eyed commoner could even read at all.

“Sign here, please!” the pegasus said, holding out a clipboard with her mouth. Trixie levitated the quill out of its holder and scribbled ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’ in curly letters on the sheet.

“Have a good day!” the pegasus called out, sailing off. Trixie huffed in response before closing the door behind her.

“Um, who ordered a package?” Trixie asked the rest of the group.

“That’s me!” Prince Blueblood cried. “This is the important component of the plan I told you of,” he informed Trixie, who now had a look of understanding on her face. The prince levitated the box with his magic and brought it back to the table. “You see, I had contact with the guards who visited Ponyville, who informed me that Ms. Sparkle has two companions who assist her in daily chores. One is a dragon who is far too narrow-minded to be of any help to us.”

The prince opened the box. “But the other…is with us here today.”

At his cue, a brown owl popped out of the box and hopped lightly onto the table, giving a small “Hoo” when he did so. Prince Blueblood backed away a few steps, muttering something about filthy commoner birds.

“Fillies and gentlecolts…and common beasts…” Trixie muttered. “This is Owlowiscious, Sparkle’s number-two assistant.”

“Hoo,” Owlowiscious said.

“Uh, you,” Trixie replied.


“Owlowiscious!” Trixie yelled. “Are you not Owlowiscious?”


I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU STUPID BIRD!!!” Trixie screamed, her hat becoming lopsided as Trixie gritted her teeth, breathing hard at the expression-less owl.

“Anyway,” Prince Blueblood continued. “This bird has turned his back on Ms. Sparkle, and is now working for us as an undercover agent! He has infiltrated her library and her circle of friends – they trust him completely! With this bird on our side, we can discover a weakness and exploit it!”

“A brilliant plan, The Great and Powerful Trixie must admit,” Trixie said, looking at the prince wistfully.

“Ah, but not as brilliant as you madam, who alerted me to the source of our ills…” the prince responded, giving Trixie a charming smile.

“You flatter The Great and Powerful Trixie! But please, continue…”

Prince Blueblood then leaned towards Trixie and gave her what looked like a rather clumsy kiss on the lips. He had his front hooves on Trixie’s shoulders, putting what must have been a painful amount of weight on them. But Trixie was returning his kisses with gusto and the slurping and smacking noises they made echoed through the sparsely decorated hall.

“Oh brother…” the Diamond Dogs muttered, flinching.

“I do not approve of zis…unholiness.” Photo Finish grimaced, shielding her eyes from the sight.

“Get a room, already…” Gilda scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Even Owlowiscious, who otherwise looked completely passive, chose to turn his gaze away from the hideous sight.

Next Chapter: All the Really Bad Stuff Happens Estimated time remaining: 21 Minutes
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