A/N: Just saying this... I listened to this while listening to The Rutles and Tenacious D. Just look up "Eine Kliene Middle Klasse Music" and you'll know what I was smoking. Moving on, here's a chapter.

"OH... MY... OH! MY! OH OH OH OH! OHOHOH! MY! OHMYOHMYOHMYOHMY! MY MY MY OH OH OH! OoOoOoOoOoOoOoHhHhHhHhHh!1!1!1!1!1!1 MmMmMmMmMmYyYyYyYyYy!1!1!1!1!1"

"Fluttershy... I thrust once... Could you please wait until I get going."

Fluttershy blinked and noticed that, indeed, Rarity had just gotten started. Oh, they were also in Fluttershy's bedroom 'cause I guess the middle of the road was rented out.

"And, can I ask you something before we start?"

"Sure, I guess..."

"Why did you ask for Roger Waters?"

"Um... I-I just like him, y'k-know..."

"838 bits says you're insane."

"I'm a Hammerskin!"

"Well, last week you were a cult leader, so whatever, let's just get going." And she did just as she said: she started. Eventually, it got to the point where there were heavy grunts but believe when I say that it was not from Rarity. Also, pistons. "Oh, and now you're not making a sound! Sure, when I do it once and once only you go all 'Oh! Darling' on me, yet when I actually do f*ck you, you're quieter then... Insert clever pun here..."

"S-sorry.. I-It's just, y'know, first t-t-time... But... Could you go a little faster? N-not faster as in 'bad-clopfic-fast', but, r-reasonable... B-but you don't have to! I-I mean, i-it's all up to you, y'know... B-but I-"

Rarity slapped Fluttershy. "I'll go faster, all right? I just wanted you to talk, not go on a tangent! Only I may do that!" she kinda-sort-not-really hissed into Fluttershy's ear. So Rarity grabbed the edges of the bed and they snapped off. "Oh... Sorry..."

"It's OK, I needed to buy a new bed anyways. It got pretty when I had that BDSM guy over..."

"Wait, I thought you said this was your first time."

"Oh, no-no-no-no, I meant this is my first time not strapped down while having some male have his dirty ways with me while I'm completely helpless."

That earned Fluttershy an eye roll. So Rarity grabbed a different portion, this time not breaking off for no reason and the previously mentioned piston metaphor got shorter and faster and shorter and faster and shorter and shorter and faster and shorter and faster and shorter and shorter and faster and shorter and faster ('cause this is filler - filling up the time) and shorter and shorter and faster and shorter and faster and shorter, like a racing car passing by, LIKE LADY GIDIVAH!... Sorry.

"Oh! DARLING!" Fluttershy started moaning louder, even though she never started to begin with. "Now, even though I know it's physically impossible, pu-hull-bull my mane!"

"Bruht?"

"A-and, y'know, ta-halk-chalk d-dirty to me! Y-y'know, like we're down in the basement a-and you l-lock the cellar door!"

"How the buck am I supposed to do THAT?!"

"W-why do you th-ink Lauren g-hav you a muh-outh?"

"Oh, sure, 'cause she gave me a mouth for this one moment in time! I mean, forget breathing, eating, speaking- NO! It was for this one moment that could have easily been altered had you not brough it up!"

"You're still g-gonna d-do it, right?"

Rarity would have shrugged, but it would have thrown the world out of order and given Celestia's hard day a chance for a sequel.

"Whatever gets me though the night... Huh-buh-guh-how you do you l-like this, you [insert second clever pun here]?" Rarity started tugging on Fluttershy's mane, making her feel like Molestia.

"You k-know-"

"Stop saying that, cunt!"

"First, that was just insulting... I'm just saying. Second, I said 'you know' instead of 'y'know'. Third, could you please have less hair in your mouth? Fourth-"

"Isn't this what you wanted?!"

"Yeah, but n-not l-like that. Fourth, I pre-furher to be called a 'g-goose step mama'. And third, could you go a little faster?"

Rarity rolled her eyes again and slapped Fluttershy. Man, that Like A Sex Machine fanficton had given her friends some pretty damn high expectations, even they're not as bad as they could be (just look at Twilust). Rarity was totally going to complain about it later.

Meanwhile, at somewhere that wasn't the pentagon, but was instead outside of Fluttershy's place of residence, Chrysalis was setting up her metronome so she could slam her head into the side of the building at the same rhythm as Fluttershy and Rainbow. Sadly, their banging followed the same pattern as a mix between "Tomorrow Never Knows" and "Happiness Is A Warm Gun".

This is worst decision I've ever made since Futa Chyrsais And Twilight Sparkle Have Sex... Or maybe Scootaling...

She would have started hitting her head, but she didn't want to get any stupider and make Rainbow a Change- WAIT.

I can't believe it... I turn Rarity into a Changeling and what does she do? Buck everypony! I should have expected it... I mean, this is a parody clopfic... Well, it's not really clop, but , y'know.

Just then, the sounds of banging from inside ceased and were instead replaced with off the wall moaning. They slowly turned into the sound of knives. Curious, Chrysalis quickly flew up to the window and saw that, indeed, Rarity had whipped out a knife and was cutting into something.

OK, now I know this was a really bad idea... Chrysalis quickly flew to the ground and knew exactly what she was gonna do: March right in there and tell Rarity off for not following through with her carefully constructed plan she had no idea she was a part of!... Need I remind you, her plan was as carefully constructed as a bomb shelter made of tooth picks.

"Ha-ha-ha... This was funny for some reason... And I can't believe you pushed me into the mattress!" Fluttershy was being pulled out of her bed by Rarity, a large blotch of sweat on the bed visible, making it look like they rained sweat. It didn't help that there were ten inches of sweat underneath them. Fluttershy's mane also looked like me before I get forced to get a hair cut... By Russians.

"Well, we sometimes have the same physics as Marville... If Marville was based around the covers and not bad parody." Rarity closed her eyes, but then quickly opened them. She looked up and coughed. A green curtain came down with an "Only Two Months Until Retirement" sign on it. It quickly rolled up and Rarity was herself again, minus her left side. Rarity coughed again and the curtain quickly gave back he right side. For no reason, she bit her lip and it started bleeding. Fluttershy was still a target. A used target that will probably question why you're doing it again immediately afterwards.

No-no-no-no-no, I will have time for this later. If later meant "not at all", considering I have, like, ten more ponies to go through. I say ten because I did everypony in town, I would be doing fancharacters for months and months.

Rarity wringed out her brow and fell down the stairs that weren't there before.

"Finally! You sure took your... Hey, are you alright?"

Rarity regained consciousness an hour later. She stood up and-

"Ahem... As I was saying: ...sweet time doing Fluttershy up there!"

Rarity was a little surprised by the PO'd Derpy, but not for the same reasons.

"Were you watching us?"

"What?! I- No!"

"Oh, I see... Look, if you two have something going on, I understand."

"No, it's not that-"

"However, I do recommend you tell Fluttershy not to do these kinds of things when she clearly has somepony else."

"Will you shut up for a-"

"If not, WHY THE BUCK WERE YOU WATCHING US!?"

Derpy quickly brought a majestic looking orange curtain around herself and was turned into Chrysalis.

"...My point still stands! Anyways, I'm glad you're here."

"Why?"

"I want to thank you for giving me this wonderful power that is sometimes considered a curse!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF-" Chrysalis pulled a frying pan out of nowhere, hit herself with it, then tossed it out a window. "YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?! YOU'RE LIKE THIS BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO TAKE OVER YOUR FRIENDS, NOT TURN THIS INTO A LITERAL VERSION OF 'FRIENDSHIP WITH BENEFITS'-"

"Oh, believe me, Chrysalis, baby, I've doing a LOT more than just giving R34 artists ideas..." Rarity licked her lips as she remembered the cheese burger she had stolen from McDonald's.

"SHUT UP! AS I STATED, I WANTED YOU TO TURN YOUR FRIENDS INTO MINDLESS CHANGELINGS, NOT MINDLESS EX-VIRGINS!... Wait, isn't that the same thing?... No, it isn't, SO I'M GONNA USE CAPLOCKS AGAIN!"

"Actually, Changelings transform, virgins and transformed and I'm beginning to think everypony but me has gotten it up the ass. But that's probablt due to a lack of males... And that rubber band..."

"I don't get it, I just don't... How is this a trollfic?"

"Hey! This can't be meta!"

"Sorry... Anyways, I have a mental link with my servants!... A very weak, nonexistent link... Heck, you're the closest I've had to a full one! And you've been doing everypony against my wishes!"

"OK, here's basic logic 101: If you want to take over PonyVille, just find a spell to get rid of our genitalia. Everypony would panic and you'd announce that if they let you turn them into changeling, they'd get their 'stuff' back. And when they agree and you do turn them into changelings, just create a solid mental link; not some flimsy one that can easily be ignored."

"You know, that'd be a good plan IF I WAS HIGH."

"Well, it's either that or nothing, 'cause I just wanna have... Mmm, how do I put this subtly, HARD, LONG, KINKY BUCKING SEX!" Rarity tried to do a pelvic motion as she explained it, but she was on all fours, so it looked really awkward. "I don't agree with the text very often, but I have to right here..."

"Agreed... Wait, we can't be meta! why the buck are you doing it!?"

"'Cause I know how to be a Changeling better then you, so NEYAH."

"Do you even know Changelings reproduce?"

"Considering how many holes you guys have, I imagine it must be pretty hard."

Chrysalis took twenty minutes to take a deep breath and exhale very slowly. "This is just as annoying and pointless and the conversation last chapter..." A glass of water appeared out of nowhere and she took a drink from it.

"WANNA BUCK!?"

Rarity face was covered in green spit and water, also green.

"Are you serious!?"

"As straight as Rainbow Dash is supposed to be... Wait... Reverse that, thank you."

"I'm not going to BUCK YOU. That is EXACTLY the reason why I'm HERE."

"Aside from taking over PonyVille? Are you suggesting that you just expected me to take over PonyVille with no problem?"

"NO! It just... We don't reproduce that way!"

"Then how do you!?"

"I HAVE NO BUCKING IDEA!"

"See? You've obviously never had sex before! I mean, why else would you be like this?" Rarity giggled quietly. "Biscuits and gravy... Heh..."

Chrysalis started to blush for reason despite [SENTENCE INCOMPLETE]. "Are you deaf and dumb? It's because you-"

"And all that time you had with Shinning Armour! ALONE, I might - no, MUST add! Sure, it's a Y-rated show, but... Oh..."

"OK, forget! Just forget! Forget it, forget it, forget it! I may have wasted all my magic reserves transforming you, but I have barely enough to get you on my side! SO WELCOME TO DIE!" Chrysalis fired a green bolt at Rarity. It bounced off her face and broke on the floor.

Chrysalis's face fell and she had to pick it up.

I should have thought that through a bit more.

"Hey, Freddie, I was gonna go see Rainbow, but I really don't care for the blind as much as I should. Let's just say... They don't see what I do. They don't see anonymous questions every damn day!"

Chrysalis could has tried to teleport away, but she chose to run instead. You can tell that she was having an off year. She did try, but she ended feeling some kind of pulling on her neck.

"AH! CHOKING ME, CHOKING ME, CHOKING ME!" She said before noticing the MAGICK blue chain around her neck... And her hooves. And her tails. Her mane. Her horn. Her wings. HER HEART... OK, I was kidding about the tail one.

"In a different paragraph, I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"Hey, no breathing allowed while I'm raping! THOU SHALT ONLY FEEL THYSELF BEING INVADED!"

"Then could you please loosen your grip around my heart?"

"Yeah, yeah, no, buck you, I'm the dominant one here."

And with that, Chrysalis was lifted off the ground and was layed on Fluttershy's couch. It was promptly broken.

"Look, I know I may be weak in terms of magic and I know you might be stronger then me right now and I know I'm at your total mercy and I have no way of escaping but I am a Queen and that can automatically can get me out of any situation!... Aw, screw it!" She started trying to chew off her arm. She quickly stopped as she just found out she hated the taste of black licorice.

"Look, you've said it once, so I'll say it again. Shut up. Shut up and relax. I'm going to buck you. Buck you gently... Which reminds me."

Rarity quickly used her magic to put on a CD.

"You really need to put that on?"

"Well, unless you want me to buck you so hard your eyeballs are half way across the room and your legs are down your throat."

And with that D continuing to play. Chrysalis's ego was starting to fall and it was already below the surface, so it was technically getting burned alive. Of all the fanfiction she had heard about, there had been rape in a couple. And if this was anything like what she read, it was gonna be over the top and stupid.

"LET... BE... NATURAL..." The quote didn't do anything.

"So you know who The Rutles are, interesting... Well, let's try to get you turned on. OOO! What about your mortal enemy?" Green curtain, then Celestia.

Chrysalis let out a long, snake hiss. Well... It at least sounded like that in her mind. It was really more like a long raspberry.

"Guess I was right about the mortal enemy thing."

"NO! You got her mane wrong! Don't you know anything about her?!... GAH!"

"Pfft... Somepony's pickier then she should be. Well, who else do I have on the royalty list? Shinning Armour? No, that's too obvious. Cadence? No, you're gonna be here. Amber? No, that fanfic got cancelled. I know! Nightmare Moon!"

Green curtain, then Nightmare Moon with a dick. She tried to flip her mane, but it was much like Fluttershy's - practically glued to one side of her face. Chrysalis, meanwhile, was trying to reach for some salt to mask the taste of licorice.

"Hey, no condiments in my rape time unless it's getting shoved up something! Just for that, clopping! Not sure if you're doing or if I'm, but I'll find a way!"

Rarity summoned a pillow (for a reason I'm sure had an explanation), which slammed her in the face and Chrysalis prayed that it was harder then it looked. Sadly, it wasn't. Rarity sat down (somewhere), slowly rubbing her temples and trying to think of something remotely sexy. Too bad she couldn't get her mind off of that damn Rainbow song.

"What? You can't tell me you've never clopped before!"

Chrysalis blinked at least fifty times within a couple seconds. "No, that's because I live in the real world and I'll be waiting right here for you to join. You may say I'm dreamer, but I'm sure as Venus NOT THE ONLY ONE."

"...Why the buck did you just quote 'Imagine'?..."

"What?"

"EXACTLY."

"Well, I'm still not going to-"

"Me are the dominant. You is the submissive. And here's a fun fact! My hormones still run faster then Sonic the Hedgehog on speed! You changing me into something else didn't change a thing! Except my appearance. And maybe a few vital organs."

"I guess your brain was one of them..." Chrysalis tried an attempt at making this story funny and less troll-y, but she was getting more into it the more she thought of it. Rarity's clopping going back to piston-mode had something to do with it as well. Hey, if you saw Nightmare Moon with low hanging fruit, you wouldn't ignore it.

Rarity started to finally pay attention to Chrysalis and noticed her interest rising. Deciding to be a jerk to Chrysalis, she started to move one chain towards her groin. Too bad she chose the one with the main.

"AH, AH, AH, PAIN, PAIN, PAIN, STOP, STOP, STOP!"

"Sorry. It's this one, right?"

"CHEST PAIN, CHEST PAIN, CHEST PAIN!"

"...OK, THIS one?"

"I'm left hoofed!"

"This is your left hoof."

"My BACK LEFT?"

"OK, I got it now?!"

"Yeah, just let the good times roll."

"You really know who The Rutles are?"

"I dunno wh- Hey, can we go back to trying to find the right hoof? 'Cause what your attempting to do right now is something I'm not appreciating very much!"

"Tonight I'm gonna clop you, tonight I'm gonna clop you, tonight I'm gonna clop you, tonight I'm gonna clop you, tonight I'm clop you tonight!"

"Oh, sure you complain about me knowing who The Rutles are, yet you know why Spın̈al Tap is?"

"I... Forget it. Could you turn into something smaller? This sofa is already saw dust."

Chrysalis changed herself.

"Twist... Hah-hah-hah, everypony's a comedian. Try something else."

Chrysalis changed herself into Cadence and, judging by the look on her face, Rarity started to make her rub herself a lot slower.

But then her hoof sped up. Chrysalis made a face that said, "Make up your mind!" and Rarity replied with a face that said, "Same here, buddy!"

And mere moments later, Rarity decided to let the chains around Chrysalis loosen. But she would never let her heart go.

And momentum continue to build and build. Suddenly, the piston metaphor seemed more appropriate then ever, 'cause, DAMN, that thing could pump engines!

Rarity herself couldn't take it any longer. She had to buck two ponies in one chapter! Chrysalis herself had become so engrossed in Cadence's body that she wondered why she didn't do this earlier! Like, a month at most. She also didn't notice the huge wanker right in front of her face until she took the tape off her eyes.

"Oh, Discord, that's what it smells like? It smells like Cupcakes if it was a hobo!"

"Sorry, I wasn't able to wash the, ahem, 'mass' I got only a minute or two ago! Anyways, where do you want it?"

"Bruht?"

"The ears, the eyes, the armpits." Rarity leaned closer and tried to look threatening. "Which hole do you want it in?"

"You're lucky I'm not myself or else that would have been a really stupid question."

Rarity slapped Chrysalis and moved her other hoof in a circle. "Imagine this hoof is my eyes. They are rolling for you because I've had it up to here with your mouth, young lady. Celestia and Luna better not be as bad as you or else I will be writing a strongly worded letter to Lauren Faust! Now, I'll keep it nice and simple by doing it missionary since I'm pretty sure if I did it any other way, I'd blow your mind like John."

"But I'm not a virgin! Wait, I forgot what I said earlier, let me-" Then thrusting. Back and forth like a saw, or maybe, mmm, I dunno, a piston? Well, if it works well the first time, might as well repeat it!

A few feet away, Fluttershy was leaning on her counter, drinking water, watching it Nightmare Moon do Cadence, clopping to it... LIKE A BAWSS. She really didn't care that her couch's molecules were getting obliterated. And she normally didn't clop, but, when she did, Nightmare Moon was on her couch. And there goes my outside pony references card. Hope you enjoyed.

Chrysalis, on the hoof, was getting her mind painted anything but blue by Rarity. Sensations she never felt before were being crammed into every part of her body as her nerves were getting engsmsploded. Time just kept slipping, slipping, slipping as well, along with the knowledge of how her left wing worked. Rarity's all that seemed to matter at this point.

After a few paragraphs of what was supposed to be humour or what seemed like 5 hours of typing, she (Chrysalis) felt the WORST! POSSIBLE! THING! Rarity... WITHDREW (the horror)! Chrysalis suddenly remembered that she was herself. She also noticed that the room was ten inches underwater and, for some reason, she had an atomic pacemaker.

"So, Freddie, how was it to get done by Nyx?"

"Hue-hugh-huh-guh, pacemaker..." Due to Chrysalis's confusion, she really couldn't say a lot. But she could say this: She most definitely was the fool off the pill... She did not know what "pill" meant, obviously.

"I accidentally ripped out your heart, so I had to replace it with something. But I can tell that you enjoyed it anyways!" Rarity was suffering from starvation and a lack of sleep, but she decided that being Nightmare Moon was boring and, after reading Nightmare Woon, this is really awkward, so she decided to go back to normal. "Oh, Fluttershy, you done hiding out back there?"

"Just... A... Second..." Fluttershy gasped, trying for the sixth to get up (and go) and eventually managed to climb up on a stool. "Au-bu-cu, what?"

"Go get Chrysalis and me a glass of water or something."

"But she, uh, already has one... I-I'm just saying."

"That's a glass made for spit takes. Go get us a real one. And after I leave, you can take care of her. I've seen your sex toys."

"Y-you mean my hammers without the head?"

"What the buck is with you and hammers?"

"I d-dunno. And d-didn't Chrysalis try to t-take over Canterlot? It seems like a really bad idea."

"Have you seen the choices we've made so far? Chrysalis turned me into a Changeling and leaves me all my free will! I turn into a Changeling and I decided to do everypony! Twilight knows I'm a Changeling and takes advantage of me! Chrysalis comes to chew me out and I buck her mind out! Doing this is the only sensible thing I've suggested all fiction!"

"Well, when you put it like that..."

Rarity grabbed the water Fluttershy never got her and downed it all in one gulp. She then grabbed the one that was meant for her, went to Chrysalis and threw it in her face.

"Drink this, bub. I'm gonna ignore Rainbow Dash again and go screw the mayor. Fluttershy here is gonna keep a close eye on your and if she had it her way, you'd be shot in a moment. However, I still wanna do you later, so you should be thankful I saved your royally evil and holy flank. And I know you can't go anywhere, but no domination plots, no draining ponies, no screwing over the bridal business and no watching Scary Movie 3!"

Chrysalis nodded and nearly fainted.

"Good." Rarity drank whatever was left in her glass and threw it out the window. It came in through the bathroom window for no reason. "Fluttershy, I know you're curious since the mayor is the last pony you'd think I'd do, but I need to, ahem, CONVINCE her that Chrysalis is no longer a threat."

"You're gonna do her?"

"No! I'm gonna blog the hell out of her! Now, once again, screw the blind, I'mma gone!"

And with that, Rairty ran out the door and into a tree. Chrysalis, who was too bored to do anything, looked at Fluttershy.

"Hammers? Really? I thought I had weird fetishes."

"It's not an addiction!"

"Yeaaaaaah, no."

A/N: I wrote this over the course of two days and a couple of Rutles songs. So that's the second chapter. I would like to thank the seven people who liked, the fourteen who disliked, the five who didn't bother to read before disliking, the Train Wreck Explorers for taking the time to read my fic and Clever Pun for approving this. It's a little too early for thanks, but I'm just like that.