Homeward Bound

After that emotional episode with Celestia, we'd moved onto discussing other subjects, the most prominent one being about Prince Blueblood. 'About time we got to that little prick.' After some discussion, and an argument about how the death penalty wasn't legal here, we finally reached an accord. Whenever I was to visit the castle, Blueblood would be under constant escort by at least two royal guards, and that he would not be allowed to take part in any activities that I'd be involved in.

At the same time, I was not to go seeking revenge on the prick, as much as I would've loved to. Whilst this was a very lenient punishment for someone who had almost murdered somebody else, the guy was still royalty. I would have tried to push his punishment further, but I could easily tell that this whole situation was having an effect on Celestia, who was understandably upset at having to punish her nephew. 'Sure, the prick deserves a whole lot more than being grounded like a 5 year old, but I'd much rather not be evaporated by Sunshine for pushing the matter further than it already is. Oh well, I'll find a way.'

"Well, I do believe that is everything we needed to discuss." She says, rising to her hooves and heading towards the study door, myself following behind. Stepping out of the study, Celestia turns to me. "Remember, Greyson, you leave for Ponyville this afternoon. Luna is in her room, and I shall be holding audiences for my little ponies in the next few minutes, if you wish to spend time with either of us." 'Hmm...Choices, choices.'

"Well, Luna would probably curl up on my lap again, and I prefer having proper blood ciruclation down there to be honest. And as fun as watching you preside over us humble peasants would surely be, I'd probably be to much of a distraction to those who're coming to see you. So I'd be doing you a favour, Sunshine. You're most welcome, no need to thank me." Comically bowing, I get a chuckle from the royal.

"Yes, I do believe that your presense may very well shock the nobles. Though, it would be a most entertaining sight. Very well, I shall let you spend your time how you wish." She says, before beginning to make her way down the corridor.

"By the way," I say, getting her attention. "When do you plan on introducing me to your subjects, anyway?" I ask, realising that, to my knowledge at least, only those in the castle and Ponyville knew I actually existed. "I can't just stay known around here and in Ponyville, Sunshine. Word'll get out, eventually, if it already hasn't, about some handsome looking creature in the castle."

"The Grand Galloping Gala will soon be upon us. Provided nothing happens that causes your existence to become general knowledge, I hope to introduce you to my subjects there." She answers. 'Fair enough, I guess.'

"Alright, nice. Well, have fun with court. In a bit, Princess." I reply, watching the princess make her way down the corridor, and around the corner, now out of sight.

Having no idea on what to do now, I settle for wandering around the castle, waiting for something interesting to happen. Though, preferably keeping away from Flash for the time being, seeing as how the guy was likely hiding around the corner somewhere, waiting to beat the everlasting shit out of me. 'Hope I don't get lost, however fun that would be. Oh mate, I could just hide in one of these rooms and have, like, 6 search parties after me. Man, that would be funny as hell.'

'Seriously, how many goddamn corridors are there in this castle? Jesus Christ, man.' Coming around what must have been the 20th corner in the past 5 minutes, I find myself looking upon a set of doors. Not recognising these ones, I conclude that they lead to a room I'd yet to see. 'Alright boys and girls, what's behind curtain number 1?' Opening the doors, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that the room in question was, in fact, a giant library, with hundreds upon hundreds of books
all organised and lined up in bookshelves, of which there must be a couple dozen of. 'Fuck me, this is Sparky's wet dream.'

"It's quite a sight, isn't it?" A voice says, bringing me out of my stupor. Turning to the pony at my side, I'm even more surprised to see that the pony in question was, in fact, Princess Cadance.

"That it is. How you doin', Princess?" I greet the royal.

"I'm well, thank you Greyson. Or, should I call you Alexander?" She says, smirking. Chuckling, I shake my head.

"Whichever tickles your fancy, Cadance." I reply, looking at the mare. "So where's the cap? You two have been inseparable for the past day and a half." I ask, noticing his absence.

"Shining's on duty, unfortunately. But he'll be there this afternoon for your send off. Then the pair of us plan on going out to dinner." She replies. 'Aww, that's nice of him.'

"Fair one. So, what're you doing here, anyway? Booking a table for this date, perhaps?" Giving me a blank stare, I sigh. "Oh come on. That was good."

"You're hopeless, Alex." 'Most likely.' "But to answer your question, I was actually looking for you." She admits. 'Oh?'

"Moi? Why's that?" I ask, confused as to why she was seeking me in particular.

"Well, with today being your last day at the castle, I thought it would be good to spend some time with you, seeing as how the few times we've seen each other has usually involved something drastic happening." 'Yea. Drastic. That's one word for it.'

"Drastic? Oh please. Haven't you heard? Attempted murders and magical comas are a daily occurrence for me, sweetheart." I say, getting a laugh out of the mare.

"Sounds exciting. Maybe you should write a biography. It might end up in here." She says, gesturing to the countless shelves of books lining the walls.

"Heh, wouldn't that be something. So what d'you wanna do, anyway?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Well I thought we could talk about ourselves. For starters, how has living in Ponyville gone for you?" At this, I laugh. 'Oh mate, where do I begin?'

"Oh, trust me love, it's been interesting. I've gotten in a fight, got a temporary job at an apple farm, been buried under a few dozen mountains of books by Sparkles, and if you haven't already heard, I saved the world. You know, just a usual day in Ponyville." Moving further into the library, we make our way over to the corner of the room. Lying down on a sofa, whilst Cadance sat opposite in one of the two chairs, I raise my hands in a questioning matter. "So Cadance. What else d'you wanna know?"

Whilst myself and Cadance were talking about whatever subject either of us had brought up, such as how Cadance was, in fact, Twilight Sparkles foalsitter when she unicorn in question was a mere filly, Shining Armour had decided to make an appearance. Settling down, we included him into our conversation, which eventually lead to him being told my actual name. At first, he was confused as to why I'd hidden this fact from everypony, but he understood my caution when I explained my reasoning to him. Eventually, Cadance decided to ask me what exactly occurred during that fateful encounter between myself and Nightmare Moon.

Regaling the pair with how the climatic confrontation transpired, they were unsurprisingly surprised at how it ended. And entertained.

"-and I told her, 'How about I take this finger right here, and I shove it right up your fucking arse!" I finish, before nearly dropping off of the couch, unable to breath properly. Looking over to my audience, it would appear that they were both having difficulty breathing as well, what with the three of us laughing our collective asses off. Composing herself, Cadance looks me in the eyes, on the razors edge of falling once more into a fit of laughter.

"Oh....Oh Celestia...That's just...Seriously? You told Nightmare Moon to...to do that? Unbelievable." She says, wiping tears away from her eyes. Ignoring Shining, who had yet to fully recover, I turn to Cadance.

"I know, I know. I got balls of steel, sweetheart, and I tell it how it is." I say, chuckling, leaning back into the sofa. "How long do I have left before I leave" I ask out loud, forgetting when exactly I was due to return to Ponyville. As much as I'd loved being here for the week, I was finding myself missing the girls back at Ponyville. 'I can't wait to tell them what's happened. Oh fuck me, Sparky is gonna flip! And Rarity, as well, when I tell her how much of a cunt her dreamboat Prince is. Their reactions are gonna be priceless.

"You have a few hours left, I think." Answers Shining, looking to a nearby clock on the wall. Nodding in appreciation, I look at Cadance, before I suddenly realise something. 'What's your job, exactly?'

"Hey, Cadance.

"Yes, Greyson?" She replies, looking at me.

"So, if Celestia is the Princess off the Day, and Luna the night, what exactly are you the princess off?" I ask, not actually knowing what her title would be.

"Love." Is her simple, prideful reply. 'Erm...What?'

"Love?"

"Love, Greyson. I, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, am the Princess of Love." She says again, staring at me as if I was meant to be amazed at such a title.

"Riiiight...Okay then. So on the one hand, we have Princess Celestia, who can control the sun and rules the day. In the other hand, we have Princess Luna, who controls the moon and the night. Finally, we have Princess Cadance, who controls an emotion. What's next? A princess of Friendship?" I say, playfully mocking the royal, who pouts at me.

"Hey, love is more than just an emotion, Alexander!" 'Yea, whatever helps you sleep at night sweetheart.' "Isn't that right, Shiny?" She asks, turning towards the captain, who was trying his hardest, yet failing, to not laugh at how easily his fiancee had taken my bait. Quickly realising that the pair of us were only messing around, she sighs, before laughing alongside her husband.

"So what does that make Blueblood? Prince of being an absolute prick?" I ask, causing the pair to laugh even harder.

"That's not his official title, no. In fact, he's not actually a prince of anything." Admits the royal.

"Really? So, what? He's just prince because of his aunt?" Getting a nod, I sigh. "Lucky bastard." Getting up from the sofa, I crack my neck and turn to the pair of ponies, who were also getting to their hooves. "Well, as much as I've loved spending time with the pair of you, and regaling you with the tales of my heroism and bravery in the face of insurmountable odds, I should probably start sorting myself out. I need to start packing." I say, moving towards the doors. "I'll see you both at my sending off party, yea?"

"We'll both be there to see you off, Greyson, yes." Answers Cadance, leaning into her fiancee, who returns the affectionate gesture. Smiling at the sight, I nod.

"Good. See you then, kiddos." And with that, I exit the library and begin making my way to my room. 'Right then, which corridor was it again?'

An hour and 45 minutes later, and everything was prepared for. The bag that I'd brought with me was packed with the clothes that used to lay across the floor, the room now returned almost exactly to the state I'd found it upon arriving here, and I was all ready to go. Hearing a knock at the door, I open it, finding myself looking upon Celestia herself. 'Shit, when did Springs become a princess?'

"Huh, you're not Springs." I say, confused as to why my maid friend wasn't the one coming to collect me. Or Flash, for that matter.

"Very perceptive of you, Greyson." She chuckles. "Mrs Springs will be joining us shortly, along with those you have befriended during your stay."

"Oh god, not Blueblood." I groan. Laughing at my feigned horror, she shakes her head.

"I don't think my nephew will be attending. Come, let us be off." She says, as I step out of the room to join her. Making our way down the corridor, she glances at me. "I hope recent events haven't put us in a negative light, Alexander." She says.

"Sunshine, even with the attempted murders, and being told that this place is my new home, that view from the balcony still gets this place a 5 star rating in my book." I joke, nodding to a passing guard. 'Premier Inn aint got shit on this place.' Sighing in relief, she nods.

"So tell me, Greyson. How have you found living in Equestria?" 'Interesting. Very, very interesting.'

"Those who don't know me see me as an alien who probably wants to eat their children, the drinks here are weak as all hell, and I've nearly been killed at least 5 times in the past month alone." I answer, ignoring the flash of guilt come across Celestia's muzzle. "But hey, it's my home, now." At this, she smiles. "Even with the negatives, I'm still loving this place so far." Nodding, we continue walking, before I look once more to the princess.

"Y'know, you've helped me settle in more than you know, Sunshine." At this, she tilts her head in confusion.

"Oh? How so?"

"If it weren't for that announcement you made when we returned to Ponyville, I'd of probably been lynched by the locals, by now." I answer. "I think they've gotten used to me now, and are beginning to treat me as one of their own. Even though I haven't even lived there that long, It's feeling like home." It was true. Whilst I was still reeling over the loss of Earth, this world, and it's inhabitants, were starting to rub off on me. 'Damn, a world of magical ponies is apparently a good place to live. Shit man, who'd of thought that? Oh wait, me I guess.'

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." Says Celestia, beaming at my words. "Whilst Equestria may never be able to replace your own home, I hope that it can fill a part of the void left by your loss of Earth.

"For my sake, I hope so." I say, turning another corridor. Looking at the large set of doors before us, I realise that we'd reached the end of our journey. "After you, m'lady." I say, opening the doors for the princess.

"Never change, Alex." Celestia laughs, stepping outside into the courtyard with me following behind.

"The world would be a boring place if that ever happened, Sunshine."

Walking with Celestia towards the centre of the courtyard, I see that the carriage I'd arrived here to begin with was once again going to be used for my return. Looking a bit more to the right, and I can see the farewell committee. Princess Luna, Cadance, Shining Armour, Spring Cleaning and Flash Sentry. 'Hope Flash doesn't hate me, still.'

"Hope I haven't kept you all waiting too long." I say, standing before them all.

"Nay, thou is on time." Replies Luna. 'Punctuality is key, or so my teachers used to say.'

"Aah, good. So, I guess this is it, boys and girls." Gesturing to the carriage, I chuckle. "You really need to get a bigger carriage, Sunshine. I was lucky enough not to break my neck the first time I got into this glorified coffin."

"Maybe if you ask our designers nicely, they'll consider such a request." Quips Celestia.

"Bring 'em to the Gala, then, I'm sure we could work something out." I shoot back.

"Wait, you'll be attending the Gala?" Asks a surprised Cadance.

"Not of my own choice, no. Cheers for that, by the way." I send a glare at Celestia, who tries to look as innocent as possible.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Mr Alexander." 'For fuck sake, Celestia!'

"I swear to god, I will come to this Gala for the express purpose of slapping the shit out of you in front of everybody in attendance." I growl, debating whether or not it would actually be worth it.

"Well that would certainly break the annual monotony of the Gala, I'm sure, but I digress." She replies, smirking, before adopting her usual regal appearance. "This carriage is ready to return you to Ponyville, once you've said your goodbyes to everypony." Nodding, I make my way over towards Flash, who still didn't look happy with me. 'Oh come on, is he still pissed?'

"Flash, buddy, are we still friends?" I ask, giving the stallion a hopeful smile. Getting a hoof to the side, courtesy of his marefriend, he sighs.

"Yea Greyson, I guess so." He relents. Holding a hand out, he shakes it, as I laugh.

"If anything mate, get something stronger. That stuff was weak as all hell, man." I say, leaving the stallion as speechless at Spring's was when I first told her. Turning to the maid, I raise an eyebrow. "Within 24 hours of meeting me, Springs, you stood up to Prince Blueblood. You are, without a doubt, the most badass maid in existence." I say, the pair of us laughing. Lowering myself to her level, I allow the mare to throw her forelegs around my neck, as I wrap my arms around hers.

"You're the strangest stallion I've ever met, Greyson." She laughs, dropping back down to her hooves as I rise back up.

"I'll take that as a compliment, sweetheart." With the lovebirds sorted out, I turn to the other pair of lovebirds, that being Love herself and the captain of the guard.

"So Alex, you managed a week and haven't gotten yourself killed? Good job." Remarks Shining. 'I'm surprised myself, actually.'

"Well, there were a couple of close calls, but hey, you're right. Good job me." I reply, chuckling at our banter.

"Alex? Who's Alex?" Asks Springs, Flash looking as equally perplexed as Springs.

"Ask Celestia." Is my simple reply. Shaking the captain's hoof, I look to Cadance. "And Cadance, still looking as lovely as ever." I say

"You literally saw me two hours ago, and you're complimenting my appearance now?" She says. At this, I shrug.

"Better late than never, sweetheart."

"You're hopeless." She says, shaking her head at my antics, before jumping up and copying the actions of the previous mare.

"Coming from Love herself, that breaks my heart." I pout, getting a laugh from all present, returning the embrace. With Cadance and Shining done, I release Cadance and turn to the last pony in the line. Luna. 'Shakespeare herself.'

I didn't even need to say anything this time, before she throws herself around my neck, as I barely manage to keep my balance. Thankfully not toppling over at the sudden weight, I wrap my arms around the lunar goddess.

"Must thou leave so soon?" She asks, sadness laced in her voice, the mare evidently upset about my imminent departure.

"As much fun as staying with you lot has been, I can't stay here forever, Shakespeare. I got a home in Ponyville, and a couple friends who probably miss me." I say, still embracing the mare. "Besides, it's not as if this'll be the last time I'm here, Luna. The Gala's coming up soon, so I'll see you then. If not, I'm sure we'll find some other way, maybe we could set up one of those stupid friendship reports that Celestia enjoys so much." I say, poking fun at Celestia, who rolls her eyes at me. "Or, you could always come visit Ponyville sometime? I'm sure they'll love to see one of their princesses in person... Or, pony, in this case." 'Gonna take a while to get used to this.'

Letting go of the mare, she nods, smiling at me. "Very well. Sometime in the future, we shall grace the town of Ponyville, so as to spend more time with thee, our friend."

"There's the Luna we all know and love." I laugh, happy to see her demeanour change back from being sad to being happy once more. Seeing her blush, I laugh harder. "And there's the adorable Luna we love even more." Embarrassed, the mare covers her face with both her wings, which just makes how adorable she looks increases tenfold. Recovering, I turn to Celestia, who was also laughing at her sisters embarrassment.

"Well, Sunshine, I do believe it's time." I say, picking up my bag. Nodding, she uses her magic to open up the carriage doors, as I throw my bag inside. Before I climb inside, however, I turn to Celestia.

"What?" She asks, confused at my sudden hesitation.

"Did you really think I was going to leave you out, Princess?" I say, holding my arms out. Smirking, she moves towards me.

"The thought crossed my mind." She jokes as I wrap my arms around her neck, as she returns the gesture. Both Luna and Celestia were the biggest ponies I'd ever seen, perhaps rivalled only by Big Mac. Compared to the average horse from Earth, the Alicorns weren't that far off from being the same size, with me being just about eye level with Celestia, and a head taller than Luna. 'Thank God Celestia doesn't jump on me like Luna does. My spine would just cease to exist if she did.'

"I'll see you later, Sunshine." Releasing the mare, I turn to the carriage.

"Until next time, Alexander Greyson." She says, trotting to stand beside her sister as I step inside. Giving the group my usual two fingered salute, the doors close, and the carriage begins to ascend into the sky. Watching the ponies get smaller with each second, I keep my eyes trained on them, until we begin moving away from the castle itself and towards our destination: Ponyville. 'Well that's that, then. It's been one hell of a week, mate, and knowing my luck, it's probably not over yet. Oh well, I doubt that the girls haven't fucked everything up to much.'

By the time we reached Ponyville, night had already fallen. Hovering just above the town, the carriage carefully descends into the middle of the town, just outside of the town hall. Looking out of the window, I could already see a certain mare awaiting my arrival. 'Looks like the welcome wagon's already arrived, then.' Grabbing my bag, I open the doors and step outside, thanking my pegasus chauffeurs and handing the pair a bag of bits as a tip. 'Let no one say that I'm not a charitable bloke.' With me now dropped off, the carriage once more rises into the air, before heading back towards the castle. 'Cheers for the ride, boys.'

Turning back around, I stare at Twilight Sparkle, who was looking at me with a wide smile. Before either of us could speak, however, our attention is drawn to a screaming Spike, who runs right past me. 'Wow, not even a hello? Gimp.'

"Twilight! You've gotta come! Quick!" He cries, before looking at me. "Oh, hey Greyson." He greets, before quickly turning back to Twilight. 'Much better.'

"I already told you, Spike, I don't want to show up Trixie!" 'Who?'

"Who's Trixie, exactly?" I ask, confused as to who the pair were speaking of. 'Sounds like some shoddy rip off of Twix. Damn, I could go for one of them, actually.'

"No, you don't understand, it's-" Suddenly, an earth shaking roar threw us all off guard, me especially. Standing back up, I turn to face whatever it was that had made such a noise, before my eyes widen in fear, and all colour drains from my face. 'I'm gone for a fucking week, and it all goes to shit. What in the fuck is this?'

"Well..."

"Uh, is that what I think it is?..."

"We're..."

"Majorly..."

"Fucked"

Author's Notes:

Well shit'll be hitting the fan next chapter, people! Alex hasn't even been in Ponyville for 5 minute before he's already found himself in trouble. How will he handle this? I don't have an answer, it's 3AM and I'm rushing this AN so I can go to bed Find out in the next chapter, folks! Peace.