I woke up to almost complete darkness. Which meant it was perfect for clubbing. I rolled over and tapped Vinyl on the shoulder, trying to wake her up so we could get to doing shit like partying, and finding out stuff. This was going to be fun times for everyone. I got out of bed and went to putting my clothes back on, I soon had all my outfit back on, and I went to wake the soldier guy. I stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room, intending to wake Silver so we could get to rave-I mean working. I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Who the fuck knocks on a door at 10:00 at night? I rolled my eyes and went to answer the door, as soon as I opened the door, I was greeted with about six swords in the chest. Well that was one hell of an entrance. I fell back through the doorway and right onto my ass, then I fell flat on the ground ended up staring at the ceiling.

"One down. Search the rest of the place." One of my assaulters said as he and his team let themselves in.

"Wipe your goddamned feet on the mat you retards." I monotoned as I slowly got up.

"What? How?" The leader yelled as I stood up.

"Fuck you that's how, and you have about three seconds to pray to whatever you should happen to worship and beg for forgiveness or pity, because I am going to kill you, and I am going to make it hurt.

"Get him!" Their leader yelled as he threw a knife at me with his unicorn magic. The weapon was thrown with amazing accuracy, but it really doesn't matter how accurate something is when you move faster than said object does. So basically I just caught it. Of course, there was also the matter of all the other knives and spells hurtling towards me from the other ponies, Operation artful dodging was a go, I just had to remember the five D's of dodgeball. Using those rules, I managed to get out of the way of all them save one, which I caught.

"So, I have a little joke for you. So a bunch of stupid armed ponies break into the lair of a vampire who is armed with swords and guns and try to kill him, but get this, that's not the punchline, the punchline is that I'm hungry right now." I said with false humor.

"Wha- what?" The leader pony's eyes went wide and his voice rang with beautiful fear as he realized the depth of the hole he was in. I couldn't help but smile, revealing my pointed canines. I must have looked pretty bad right then, what with the blades sticking out of my body and the insane smile on my face. One of the ponies began slowly backing away, whimpering something about 'too young to die' bullshit! You were never too young to die. As this little floater was about to find out.

All the ponies started trying to back out, terrified by my presence. Vinyl had made her way out by this point, and gasped when she saw the weapons lodged in my torso. I sighed, it was a shame she would have to see this, but some things just can't be avoided. There were eight ponies in the room right now, none of them were going to live.
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TROLOLOLOLOOOLLL
STORY INTERRUPTION
Go ahead Kyle, take this out, bet you five bucks you will
TROLOLOLOLOOOLL

Oh yeah Danny? Well you owe me five bucks you stupid turd! Go masturbate to gay pony porn you damn fatass bridge troll. Also, You might want to stop making bets, otherwise you'll end up selling yourself into sex slavery to pay me my money. So, in short,

TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

LALALALALAAAAAA

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

UUUUUUUUUHHAAAAAAA
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"So. Who here is a donor? I want to make sure there's enough left for the doctors to get something useful from you." I said as I smiled and bared my teeth.

"Hey Kyle what was that noi- Holy buckmothering crap! What happened to you?" Vinyl had been walking into the room, and managed to come in at the moment when I was standing up while impaled by swords and bleeding all over the place.

"Honey, don't panic, I got this." I said calmly.

"Naw you don't, cause I GOT THIS!" Vinyl said in an eerily jovial tone as she pulled out the .950 that Danny had given me earlier. I had intended to teach her how to use it, but apparently she figured it out. Wait a second, that was 2400 grains of powder, that wasn't something you wanted to be in front of. Especially in an enclosed space.

"SEE YA!" Vinyl shouted as she magically lifted the huge weapon and pulled the trigger.

BOOOOM The shot was like an explosion in a bunker, the shockwave from the shot reverberated across the room. My eardrums exploded like melons hit with bullets, and so did one of the ponies' torsos. Vinyl was thrown back by the intense recoil generated by the oversized beast, but at least she hit something.

I was on the ground. How was I on the ground? I didn't remember falling, but maybe I just passed out for a second. I shook my head and tried to get up, but a little known fact is that eardrums help with balance, so burst eardrums equals no balance. Simple math. Anyway, I fell straight back down on my back, where I lay for another minute or so while my ears fixed themselves. When I could hear again, I realized I was getting yelled at by someone, I shook my head and looked over to where the voice was coming from.

"Hey. Hey! Get your ass up! What the buck is going on in here?" Silver? Silver was the one yelling at me? That cheeky little sod.

"Fuck off I'm up." I said in annoyance as I shakily got to my feet.

"Kyle! Did you see that! That was bucking AWESOME! Let's do it again!" Vinyl shouted as she staggered over to me.

"Are you okay Vinyl?" I asked worriedly.

"WHAT?!" Vinyl shouted even more loudly than before.

"Are you okay?!" I said more loudly.

"WHAT?!" She shouted again. Fuck, shot must have destroyed her ears too.

"Silver. Go get some help, grab the front desk lady or something." I said firmly. Silver nodded and went to the door, but he promptly shut it again just before a series of loud thunks sounded on the other side of it.

"Yeah no. I think I'll just stay here." Silver said quickly as he sat propped against aforementioned door.

"How many on the other side?" I asked.

"More than one, less than a hundred. Does that help?" Silver said like a smart ass. He might just end up being my second favorite traveling companion, of course, Glenn never said anything, which made him easy to deal with. Huh.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do." I said as I began pulling swords out of my torso and throwing them in a corner. "You are going to stay here and defend my wife, if anything happens to her, I will eat you. I am going to go out there and give proper welcome to our lovely little house guests, but first, I am going to check our little bandits over here." I said as I looked to the prone bodies of the original home invaders. I made my way over to the pile, and came face to hole with the shattered remains of what was once a pony. Vinyl had hit one of them when she fired, and the shot had exploded him like one of those jelly filled balloons you used to drop on your friends as a prank. His body was all over the floor, staining the carpet like wine. Speaking of which, I was feeling hungry. One of his legs was still intact, so I picked it up. I shook it around a little bit, it was kind of funny to watch it bend at the knee and flop around. Anyway, that was macabre. I shrugged and took a bite out of it. Not bad.

"Did you just take a bite out of a severed leg?" Silver said in abject disgusted horror.

"Chaotic good for the win." I said as I took another bite. Apparently, he had a rather weak constitution, because Silver began retching and gagging like he was gonna throw up.

I threw away the severed leg and looked back at the pile, I checked all of them, they were dead. I guess the sheer awesome of a pony with a giant cannon was just too much for their little hearts to handle. I began patting the bodies down, they were all dressed in dorky looking SWATesque gear. One of them had something in his pocket, I pulled it out and looked it over. It was a wallet. I shrugged and opened it up. Inside were eight bits, a ten bit gift card for quills and sofas, a credit card, and some sort of ID card. What kind of retard brought ID to a covert operation? Apparently a broke, single guy named Pruned Roses. Sounds about right. I read a little more, apparently he wasn't a donor, well, he was still going to be giving blood. I moved his head to allow me access to his neck, and fed.

I stood up feeling much better, I turned around and was making my way to the door when a voice sounded in my head, but it wasn't Danny, no, this voice was female, no it wasn't Glenn. "Kyle, do you have anything to report yet?" It was Celestia talking to me. In my mind. Apparently there was no limit to the amount of people that could talk in your brain. Awesome.

"Yeah. A bunch of ponies broke into the hotel room we were staying in, so I guess it's something." I said.

"Are they taken care of?" She asked calmly.

"Sort of. There's a few outside. I was about to kill them when you called. Since you're here though, perhaps you can tell me what I should do. My weapons are ready, I am prepared to kill, I await only your word." I said in mocking tribute to Alucard. I swear, one more Hellsing reference and Seras was going to shoot me in the face. Or maybe she would just crush my skull with her fist. Either way, it was probably time to stop.

"Is it really necessary to kill them?" Celestia asked.

"You are the commander here, you tell me. Is it necessary to kill them? Do you have the will to give an order that will lead to death? Or can you suggest a better course of action?"

"Do you think me weak? I assure you I am not. You are expendable to me, you are a tool, an item, you are no subject of mine. I would remind you that I will not hesitate to send you to die. Remember this before you goad me. Now go. Kill. Or die." Celestia had a menacing and cold side? Sweet. She was one hell of a hard bitch. Makes it difficult to believe Danny got that. I shrugged and walked back towards the door.

I checked my weapons one last time, making sure they were all reloaded and ready to for use. Around me were the broken and mutilated bodies of a dozen ponies. I placed my hand on the door handle and pumped myself up for what I knew was coming. I opened the door to see even more armored ponies. I put on a business-like smile and walked out. “So. Life insurance everyone?” I asked them as I walked past the first of them. For a moment they seemed surprised, but then one of them, a unicorn, blasted me with fire. “Apparently yes!” I yelled as I unloaded with both barrels into the jack-booted thugs that were so desperate to kill me they had tried to get me in a hotel. The .454 rounds I was firing were not small by any stretch, nor were they quiet weapons to use. The cannon sounds they made when coupled with the tight spaces we were in made them sound like giant explosions every time I pulled the trigger. By the time my clips were empty, there were no ponies left in the hallway. There were chunks of flesh that closely resembled them, but nothing was still intact. I turned my head about to see my handiwork, then smiled and nodded, then I frowned. Something was out of place. I just couldn’t place my fangs on it. I pursed my lips as I looked around again. What the hell was wrong? Then I saw it, one of them was breathing. Well, that might be a good thing. It wasn’t like I was just going to find out who sent them by checking the bodies. Unless one of them had a swastika tattoo, but that would mean nazis, and nazis would be retarded. I shook my head and smiled as I walked over to him, he was so fucked. His leg had been severed below the knee, and he was bleeding all over the place. He flailed his remaining three legs in a futile attempt to get away as I got close. I knelt down next to him and looked him in the eyes as I spoke.

“Who put you up to this?” I asked seriously.

“What?” He replied in confusion. Shock did no wonders for comprehension, and it was clear his was pretty bad.

“Who sent you to kill me?” I asked again, speaking more slowly so his shock addled brain could comprehend my speech.

“Buck you.” He snarled. Ooh. Still a stubborn little bastard was he?

“You sure you want to do this the hard way?” I asked warningly.

“I’ll die before I speak to you.” He replied defiantly.

“Err... Okay.” I said as I picked him up, slung his body over my shoulder, and started carrying him back into the room. To his credit, he didn’t say a word as I walked through the door and moved towards the window. I looked out through the glass. Below were ponies happily out and about to experience a taste of the night life. I certainly couldn’t fault them for that, but they were still going to have a bad time in just a few seconds. I undid the latch on the gold edged window pane and looked straight down. It was exactly thirty two stories to the ground.

“What are you doing? My attached night guardspony asked in alarm. He had already seen me murder a bunch of ponies, and I’m sure he was just a little worse for wear. Well, he wasn’t getting better anytime soon, the night was still young.

“What do reckon? About three hundred feet?” I asked conversationally. As I looked at the ground.

“You aren’t going to do what I think you’re going to do are you?” The guard asked suspiciously.

“Why? What were you thinking?” I asked as I nonchalantly threw the bleeding pony out the window.

"Really. You really did that." Silver said flatly.

"Yeah. I did. What you gonna do about it slut?" I said menacingly.

"Nothing." He said quickly.

"Well good. Pack your shit, we're leaving." I said cheerfully.

"Yeah, that's probably best." Silver said as he went back to his room and grabbed his bag.

"What are we doing?" Vinyl asked as she scratched her head.

"Leaving." I said.

"What? Why? We just got here." She asked in surprise.

"Yeah, and now we're going. So grab your stuff and let's go."

"Okaaaay." Vinyl said with an annoyed sigh as she made her way back to her room.

It only took us a few minutes to pack, and then we were making our way to the elevator. After walking past my most recent art exhibit, we were standing by the doors. I hit the call button and waited patiently as the hand on the elevator count clock thing made its way up. Finally there was a little bell sound and the doors opened. Silver had been standing directly in front of the doors, so when they opened he found himself muzzle to muzzle with a balaclava-wearing pony, along with at least six others behind. Said pony blinked in startled surprise, Silver's reaction was far less accommodating. Silver rammed his forehead into the other pony's muzzle, breaking his nose and splattering blood all over his coat, he then tackled the reeling pony, hooves outstretched, and began slamming his forehooves into his face. His friends reacted quickly, but still too slow. It was time to try out my new blades. I unsheathed one and jumped past Silver. I swept the blade in a sideways arc. The blade cut through the elevator wall, and three of the ponies' necks. The other three were trying to prep magic and weapons in the tight space, I took out one of my guns and pulled the trigger in their general direction. I didn't have time or reason to aim, space was so tight it didn't matter anyway. The remaining three ponies went down with giant holes drilled in their bodies.

I turned back to see how Silver was doing. He was still wailing on the same pony as before, blood was pooling on the floor of the elevator. Silver stopped to catch his breath, and saw that his foe was dead. He shakily got to his hooves, and took a deep wracking breath. Vinyl had been staring wide-eyed at us as we did our bloody work, and now that it was over, she slowly walked in to the elevator and stood facing the door. I pressed the floor one button and stood next to Vinyl, thinking about how she must be feeling about the seven mutilated ponies in the elevator with us.

After about a minute of absolutely unfitting elevator music, we reached the bottom. The bell dinged, the doors opened, and we were greeted with still more bad pony dudes. There were at least twenty of them. I only had seven shots per mag in my .454, which meant there were six left even if I hit every shot. Well, you only live once, and I was already dead, so fuck all. I drew and fired both of my weapons into the mass of hostiles, going through both clips in less than two seconds, I only killed eleven with the shots. Shit. I threw the empty guns at the remaining ponies and ran at them full tilt. I drew my swords and aimed a cut at the first enemy that came to me. The blade took him in the neck and cut through so fast there wasn't even a blood spatter, I swung with the other and slashed the side of another pony, another pony was directly in front of me, so I kicked him in the muzzle, I could hear the bones cracking in his neck and jaw. I saw another a few feet away, moving very slowly to grab one of his knives with is magic, I jumped in the air and brought one of my blades down in a stabbing motion on his back, impaling him on 30" of steel. Yet another pony ran towards me with agonizing slowness, his magically held knife sweeping down towards me, I ducked under it and stabbed both swords into his chest, then I pulled them to the side, effectively cutting him in half, three more of them charged me with swords, obviously intending to overwhelm me with numbers like they had been trying to do since they started. I dropped to one knee and extended my arms to either side, making a T with my outstretched arms. "Deathclaw Strike!" I yelled as I swept both weapons towards each other on an inwards arc, decapitating all three at once. Fallout for the fucking win. I stood up and looked around. Where was that last guy?

"Useless cur. Can't get good help these days to save your life. Oh well. At least they served my purpose." That voice. I didn't know it. I turned and saw a griffon clad in black, form-fitting armor of a strange material suffocating the last pony in one of her claws. She squeezed a little harder, and I heard bones cracking from here.

"Gilda?" I said in surprise.

"Who the buck is Gilda? No. I am Lucypher." She said with a dramatic flair.

"Okay." I said with a shrug.

"You haven't heard of me? Blackwing? Bloodclaws? Scourge of Highroost?" She pressed hopefully.

"No. Sorry. I'm rather new here." I said sadly.

"Pity. Well, no matter. What is your name?" She asked as she eyed me.

"Kyle." I said simply.

"Damn. I was hoping you were Danny." She said in annoyance.

"Why is that? I'm not good enough for you?" I said with evident malice.

"Well, it says here that you're worth 50,000 dead or alive." She said as she removed a slip of paper from her armor.

"Not bad." I said with a nod.

"The little one is worth 75k and Danny is worth 150,000. You're at the bottom of the list. Those two must be pretty good, so perhaps it's best I take the cheap one first. Payday's a payday after all." And with that, Lucypher pulled out a huge gun and cocked two of the four hammers.

"What the fuck is that thing?" I asked in startled awe. It looked like a giant rectangle with a gunstock, a trigger, and hammers on it.

"Do you like it? this is the pride of the engineers of Cragsnest, Volantis Venator. The Flying Hunter. She has four barrels, each 2.8 centimeters in diameter and fires shells loaded with iron balls. Her unloaded weight is 30 kilograms, she generates over 50 kilos per meter of recoil, I'm the only Griffon in Equestria who can use it. " She said theatrically.

"Right. Well, allow me to offer you a proposition before we begin. You can either fight me, or you can go away and live to fight another day. Just a friendly offer." I said calmly.

"No."

"Well then, I guess we're doing this." I said in anticipation.

"You ready?" She said with a menacing smile.

"Just give me a second." I said as I reloaded my guns in preparation for what was about to go down. "Now I'm ready." I said confidently.

She raised her weapon in one hand and fired. I was already diving out of the way, and managed to avoid getting turned into a blood smoothie. Oooh. I wonder how one of those would taste, I might have to try one of those sometime. Anyway, back to fighting. I landed behind a pillar, and quickly got up and pressed my back against it. That bitch was fast, and she could one hand a 70 pound shotgun.

"Hey there." Lucypher said as she put her cannon to the back of my head. And she could fly, and be fast. This was gonna be good. I ducked just as she pulled the trigger and pressed the barrel of my own sidearm to her beak. She artfully moved her head and brought her huge club of a gun swinging down towards me. I pushed up with my legs and got my arms around her neck in a bear hug. She responded by punching me in the kidney and shoving me away.

She again tried to bring her weapon to bear, but I swatted it away with one hand and brought up my other gun. Her clawed hand grabbed my wrist and she pulled my arm down and to the side, pointing away from her face. I brought my other arm back and bashed the side of my pistol against her head. She staggered backwards, I brought both of my guns up again, but she jumped back and flapped away behind a pillar. I saw her try to peak out and let loose on the place where she was hiding. The shots tore chunks of masonry out of the pillar, crushing through the shaped stone. I ran backwards as fast as I could as I fired, using the opportunity to find good cover. I ran behind a different pillar farther down the line and reloaded. This was going well so far. I looked around the corner just in time to see her swing out, I ducked back just before she unloaded into my cover. If my guns were destructive, then these things were on a next level tier. The pillar nearly exploded on my back, her shots powering through over half the wall. Hopefully these weren't load bearing supports, otherwise things could go very badly. Er, well, worse.

I tried to look around again, but she fired her cannon again, breaking through even more of the stonework. I put one of my guns around the corner and blind fired a clip in her general direction. I reloaded yet again. Where was I getting all this ammo from anyway? I looked out again and saw she was behind a pillar even closer to me. She must have moved up when I was suppressed. She was definitely an aggressive fighter, a berserker if you will. How was I going to do this? We could do this until doomsday. Unless. Vinyl and Silver had a cannon with them, but they were across the room, fuck.

"Hey Kyle." A voice said as I was leaning out. I swung my guns around to see Danny standing in front of me.

"The hell are you doing here Danny?" I asked in surprise.

"Oh you know, just thought I'd check up on you and stuff." He said conversationally. "So whatca doin'?"

"I'm in the middle of a firefight here." I said angrily.

"Oh. Sweet. Well, that's cool and all, but I should probably get back to- CHLOROFORM RAG!" Danny shouted as he shoved a rag in my face. It smelled horrible, but it wasn't going to make me pass out. "What the hell? That was supposed to work." Danny said when he saw that I wasn't falling over.

"Did you really do that?" I asked flatly. Another shot rang out from Lucypher's side of the range, mulching through yet more of the pillar.

"HOLY SHITS! That gun sounds awesome!" Danny shouted joyfully.

"Yeah, it is, but it weighs 70 pounds and is being toted by a griffon bitch with an attitude. So you can't have it." I said lividly.

"Oh no, I don't want it, I'm just making an observation. So anyway, I was cleaning out my pockets, and I found a little gift for you, I don't really need it since I have my shotgun, but I thought you might like it." And with that, Danny held up Alucard's Jackal pistol, along with spare clips. Awesome.

"Here. Take it. I'm just that nice." Danny said seriously. I took the weapon, and noticed it was slightly different from Alucard's, it had a gold plated barrel and hammer, and the lettering was silver inlay instead of whatever it was in Hellsing.

"Daddy likes." I said as I held the weapon in my hand.

"The clip is extended, so it has 7 rounds instead of six, I also thought you might like tungsten rounds instead of mercury. So there you go.

"I could kiss you right now Danny." I said seriously.

"Whoah bro, I ain't into vampires. Just take it." Danny said as he raised his hands as if to ward me away.

"Alright dude. You should probably go and, you know, investigate stuff, or something." I said cheerfully.

"Yeah in a second, but first I gotta try something out." Danny said excitedly. And with that he pulled out what looked to be an old 12 gauge shotgun. Pump action. How did he think that was going to do anything? Danny pulled the trigger and out came a rocket that went whizzing towards Lucypher's pillar, the rocket exploded and blew the pillar away in a flash of smoke and fire.

"Awesome." Danny said as an evil grin split his features. He then proceeded to unload into the smoke, blowing chunks out of the ground and causing pieces of ceiling to fall down. The manager was so fired. "See ya later!" Danny shouted, then he was gone.

"Well. That happened." I said out loud. I guess it was time to see if she survived or not.

"You're so dead." Guess that was a yes. I dived to the side, avoiding her cannon's retort, and fired my new gun, she managed to get out of the way, but hell if it wasn't fun to shoot this thing. I did a roll and backpedaled as I fired towards her again. She got behind cover, but my new gun cut through it and barely missed her head. Oh yeah, this was going to be the best gun yet.

I turned and ran as I reloaded my weapons, going for the pillars on the other side. I barely made it before she fired again, spraying buckshot over everything. It was getting to be that time now, where everything has to be awesome. Fuck this shit. "Let's rock!" I shouted as I did a flip out from behind cover Matrix style. No hand to push me farther of the ground, just leg power. Lucypher had a similar idea, but she had wings. Her dive took her across the space between pillars parallel to me. We both unloaded our guns on each-other, all four of her barrels sounded off, as did both of mine, with that much metal in the air, someone was going to get hit, and we were. One of my shots took her in the shoulder, knocking her back out of the air. Two of her pellets also found purchase in flesh, taking me directly the abdomen and chest. I fell awkwardly to the ground with two brand new smoking holes in my chest. Fuck. That was two pellets, if she got me full on with even one full shot, I was not going to be in a good way.

"Miss me you bastard?" Speaking of... I again beat her gun away before she could cannon my skull, but now she had a giant knife in the other hand, which promptly went directly into my shoulder. She shoved me into the pillar, impaling me to it on her ridiculously oversized knife. My right shoulder was pinned, so that was out, but what she didn't know, was that I was left-handed. Not like it mattered, but whatever. I had my smaller Casul in my left hand, but it would be enough, I shot her in the arm she was using to hold the knife, breaking her grip on it and allowing me to pull myself free. She was feeling her wounds now, I could tell by her face. And her eyes. She looked almost scared. Now was the time to go on the offensive. She started flapping away, getting out of the line of fire before I could unload. I took her knife out of my shoulder, deciding I wouldn't give it back to her later, then went to follow the lady. I saw her behind cover again, and shot at her some more. I didn't expect to hit her, I wasn't trying to, I was trying to keep her head down, I reloaded and fired again as I ran farther down the atrium, going to the far end near the entrance, I ran across the middle towards her side of the room. I was careful to keep a pillar between her and me in case she saw, I made it to about two pillars from where she was before she saw me. I fired and ran towards her, I unloaded my new weapon and one of the Casuls, she had managed to get out of the way, she brought her weapon up and pointed it at me, I thought fast and threw both of my guns at her face before baseball sliding and pulling out my other Casul, I was too fast her her this time, and I shot her in the legs, three shots hit her armor and bounced, but two hit her in the right knee and brought her off her feet. She brought her gun around to shoot me again, but grabbed it by the barrel, headbutted her, and shot her twice in her clawed hand, I tugged on the weapon, yanking it out of her grasp, and kicked her in the side, then I brought her own weapon back around, gripped the handle with my right hand, put the barrel in her face, and pulled the trigger.

*Click*

The damn thing chose that moment to misfire, but that didn't mean she was going to live, I jabbed the weapon forward into her face, pretending I had a bayonet, and knocked her to the ground, I then cocked the other three barrels and shoved them into her chest before pulling the trigger. The recoil was immense. Even I felt it. It was definitely the most powerful feeling ever to have a huge gun like this chunk someone. And chunk someone it did, she exploded as soon as I pulled the trigger, there was hardly enough of her torso left. Someone would have to mop this up later. It was all closed casket funerals or cremations for this chick. I threw the gun to the side, and looked around, over half the pillars were almost completely destroyed, the ground was mangled and crushed everywhere, and the ceiling was coming down.Ya did good Kyle. Ya did good. Also you Danny.

"Thank you."

You bet.

"I bet you're wondering where all the hotel staff and guests went aren't you?" Celestia said as more a statement than a question.

"Actually no. I really don't give a shit. I'm just glad they didn't get in the way."

"I had the hotel closed down, because I knew someone would make an attempt on your life." She said calmly.

"You what?" I said in surprise.

"I knew somepony or something would try to kill you, so I evacuated the premises. I had to know who put out the bounties. Now is there anything to hint at who offered the blood money on the body" Celestia asked.

"What body?" I replied.

"The assassin's body. She replied.

I looked at the blasted remains of what had formerly been my assassin, and facepalmed as hard as I could.