So with that I decided to go back in and play clue with Glenn. While we were playing we realized that we could look through my phone for pictures of the party we all pretty much missed. Anyway, we searched my pockets and realized that, A. The phone was gone and B. my pockets seemed to lead to some alternate dimension that looked like the inside of someone's fucked up subconscious.

A Pocket Dimension.

So we decided, against all logic, reason, and survival instinct, that we would jump in and see if we can find my phone. I removed the jacket and we both looked into the pocket before jumping in, defying all laws of mass and physics. We landed in some sub-medieval, steampunk, modern-esque place. Basically, fuck you, we had swords, and space-guns, in a steampunk land, floating in space. Yup, this place is totally real. Not fake at all, nope.

"Dude, we just hit the mother-load of fantasy sci-fi worlds." I comment in a bit of surprise, honoring the sheer awesomness of what we had just jumped into.

"Well, it seems well enough to be in your pocket. Seeing as you pull out everything from the holy grail to bed sheets from your pockets" Glenn comments in an exaggerated tone, using his arms to further exaggerate his point.

"Yea, lets go see where my phone is...can't be non-existent in this place, seeing as i put it here" I comment before we continue forward. We pass people, animals furries, ponies, dragons, and some things that I can only describe as things. Not even kidding, do you know how awkward it is to see something you quite literally cannot describe, walking down the street like its nothing? But I digress. All creatures aside I had to find my phone...right after I had some inter-dimensional ice cream.

I walk up to an old style ice-cream parlor and ask for a vanilla ice-cream cone. The server is short, with pink long hair and an adventurer outfit on, as best as I feel like describing her. She handed me the requested food in only a second and I scarfed it down without a second thought.

Now, you might be thinking 'Danny, what does this have to do with the story?' well fuck you, it's my story now, I do what I want, bitch.

Anyway, I ate the ice-cream and was on my way, nothing strange there. Well, nothing by the standards of this world, I suppose. So we kept going. No, me and Glenn together are not the biggest talkers, expect tiny snippets of babble that doesn't matter for shit, just expect it.

Anyway, we continued walking through the creature-filled world that had been created around us, until something stopped us dead in our tracks! What could possibly bring this awesome person to a screeching halt, you ask? Why it was none other than deadpool, doing the chicken dance, for a bunch of elderly folk, who were smack dab in the center of a giant tongue that belonged to the giant space creature Zorg! No, but seriously, deadpool doing the chicken dance for elderly people. This was one of the single greatest moments of my life.

I immediately ran up to get his autograph and was stopped--again! I hit a wall, and suddenly realized the show had stopped and I had just ran into a painting on a card-board wall. Fucking acme and your bullshit. Well, that was a whole lot of excitement wasted. "ONWARD AND FORWARD STEED!" I shout and then ride off into the city on an auburn horse with fir hooves and Glenn right behind me being dragged in a wagon.

We rode and rode for hours getting nowhere in this land. And I swear to myself if I see one more floating Bobby Hill dressed as super man, standing in a tub of strawberry ice-cream, eating a chicken sandwich, I am going to make a video about the in depth storage unit cheeses.

Seriously, this shit needs to be said, and bobby needs to stop eating those sandwiches. He gonna get diabetus'. We ride past a lot of them, for some reason. We also ride past a gigantic, rainbow-hued fish that looks at me like a cow looks unto an on-coming train. I have seen him before, in a dream we weren't about to get into.

HEY! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!

NO! Fuck you Navi! Go die in a hole!

Oh, shit.
We fall down into a hole that fell for some three hours.
Which, now that I think about it, is pretty ironic. As I fall down this seemingly neverending hole I have the thought that this could be bad karma, I told Navi to die in a hole, and here I am, possibly going to die in a whole. Who am I kidding? I can't die!
And with that me and Glenn are back on the ground, standing there, like nothing ever happened. "Oh, well shit, this must be my head then" I say out loud in a surprised tone.
Glenn just gives me a dumb look and says "You don't say!"

"Oh like you knew before this anyway. Let's just keep looking for my phone, I don't see what else is here. Actually, we're in the middle of nowhere now, how the fuck do we get anywhere?" I ask, mostly to myself.

Glenn just shrugs "I don't know, it's your head, think us an exit. I'm sure your way too over-active imagination can come up with something" He says calmly, and he's right.

"We need a transportation rig. Let's just spawn one" I say, pulling up a block out of no-where, minecraft style. I place it and it turns into a star gate. "Well, that works, I guess" I say with a shrug and we both walk through.

One Doctor Who title sequence transition later we are in a dump, a garbage dump, with lots and lots of shit in it. I pick up a doll that looks strikingly exactly the same as Kyle. I decide to poke it with a tiny pin needle. I get bored and throw it out into the heap.
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Elsewhere in pony reality
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Kyle's just sitting around when he suddenly feels a needle prick. "ow" He mumbles, rubbing his arm. "Bwah!" he shouts in surprise as he is slung across the room into a wall, making a smashing sound on impact.

"Oooohhh. Fuck my unlife." He moans painfully.
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Back to us
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We walk into the adventurer's inn and checked into the king's chamber room. We got in for free because...rpg logic, that's why, now shut the fuck up. We go to our room and walk through the door into a big wide open field with tents set up, a convention. And there were furries everywhere. I don't mean fursuits, i mean actual anime style furries.

So we walk through the convention and into a tent, it seems this is actually a fair. We walk into this tent that says psychic on it and are greeted by an old female alakazam. "I expected you to come here. Please, sit down, ask me your question. I know you have one" The alakazam says in a pseudo-wise tone that is generic to psychics.

"uhhh....dude, wheres my phone?" I ask, mimicking the tone of te quote 'dude, where's my car?'. Come on, you know you read it in that voice.

So she looked at me for like ten seconds before she finally said. "You have much to do and much to learn before you may find your phone young one" She says in that same pseudo-wise tone.

I look at her, and she looks at me, and I look at her. And then I get up, and walk out of the tent, Glenn following me out. We walk out into a huge white room, the entrance...er...exit...whatever, gone now. It's just a big white room, and in the center is Kefka Palazzo of the Final Fantasy series.

"Dude, Glenn, Stand away" I say calmly in a relaxed tone. He nods and goes over to the corner of the huge room and shields himself with a magic art.

Kefka turns to me with a maniacal smile and starts laughing with insane glee. "Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Let's destroy the world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!" Kefka screams with psychopathic enthusiasm. Wow, I had to take on this basket case, perfect.

"well let's start the fun then!" I say with excitement as I charge forward, pulling my buster blade off of my back and swinging it forward with force. Yea, that's right. Fuck magic, fuck strategy, I'm going to swing a fucking sword.

Not surprisingly, it doesn't quite work, and I'm smashed by an energy blast that flings me into the nearest wall, causing me to dent the wall on impact. And then explode into cherry marmalade! I come up from behind him and smash a gigantic mallet into his side, flinging him into the very wall my clone had just hit. He hit the wall and bounced off, flying towards me at high speeds.

I bring up the ground below me into a make-shift wall between us that he crashes into, getting his head stuck in the rock. Three more of me come up from behind him, yanking him out to throw him to the ground. As we yank him out he spins his body, expelling dozens of energy blades and blasts.

The three of me that are hit explode into hundreds of leaves. "Razor leaf, go!" Glenn says in an amused tone behind his force field bubble. The leaves all start bombarding Kafka and slicing through and around him relentlessly. He yells in defiance as he burns away the leaves and an aura of energy surrounds him.

Above me(the real me, now) appears a red portal looking object and it drops a flaming rock. I dodge away as quickly as I can and the small explosion caused by the rock hitting the ground forced me off my balance and hitting the ground. I push myself up and away from the target area as more rocks fall from the portal.

I run away but it follows me, continuing to drop rocks way too close for comfort as I attempt to keep my balance through this barrage. I get chased around the room for like a minute with these fucking meteorites on my ass the whole time. The barrage finally stops and I catch my breath. But only for a second before I'm blasted by a ball of energy and I fly across the room, hitting the ground and sliding about a meter. I push myself up shakily, breathing heavily. "Fuck...that hurt like a bitch" I mutter with a huff as I stand up, shaking a little. I pull a bottle of carfentanyl and take out a tiny pill not even the size of my pupil.

I place it in my mouth and swallow it and suddenly. "Holy...mother of fuck...I can't...feel....anything" I say and start hitting myself harder and harder and Kefka just stares at me before walking over to me. He stabs me through the stomach with a serrated blade and pulls it out.

I look down and almost smile. "I...I can't feel it. I can't feel anything!" I shout in excitement and a little disgust as my blood pours out of the wound.

"eeyup, chalk that up to the lucky bastard can't die chart" Glenn says nonchalantly in a calm tone. I laugh and look at Kefka in mischievous glee. I pick up my previous sword and start flailing my body around, breaking and snapping bones as I flail like a ragdoll and Kefka struggles to keep up with my ragdoll movements.

Kefka finally gets in a hit and slams me with an energy blast, flinging me once again into a wall. I get up like it was nothing, though most of my inner bones were broken my muscles were in tact and I could move.

I pull a huge custom pistol out of my pocket. A six inch long barrel with a 40 millimeter bullet and about 8-9 inches in diameter. Inside the barrel were two tiny explosive charges that propelled the bullet faster so the nuclear tip of the bullet could impact and explode.

"See ya in hell Kefka" I mutter in insane excitement as I steady the weapon, having no real restrictions on my muscles at the moment I can lift it with ease. I steady my aim and kefka starts running away, recognizing the threat. I fire the bullet and it goes halfway through the barrel before the explosives inside the barrel go off and propel the bullet at extreme speed.

This, of course, does not go without damage. The combined force of two sticks of TNT easily wrecked the one-time use gun and blew away my arm and a chunk of my shoulder. The bullet hit Kefka in his lower spine, if not for the bullet it would have not killed him. The resulting blast was equal to 14,219,000 pounds of TNT.

We tried to calculate the total radius that this would fuck someone's day up, but we gave up because he's dead. We know that within about a mile, it's fatal. Within about 20 miles, you will see the effects and hear the boom. Basically, fuck everything, this wasn't even necessary.

I think, for the first time, I actually feared for my very life, and thought I might die. I normally run, or go away, or disappear, or do something dirty and underhanded. I no longer had the mental strength to teleport away from here anymore. I legitimately feared for my life. I was fucked.

With the very last of my strength and energy, I tried to force-field myself from this. I tried to make a shield, covering only my skin under my cloths. Conserving as much energy as possibly I tried to shield myself. Unfortunately one of my legs had to be sacrificed, it took to much energy to cover the left leg, and my right arm was already gone.

My left leg was blown away as the rest of myself was spared, I even didn't bother to cover my hair. The blast zone was demolished, nothing but wrecked earth, For a second I could see myself, in my bloody glory. My left leg and right arm were gone and jaggedly so. I had a large whole through my stomach. I was bleeding profusely and I still thought, I really was going to die. From mental shock and blood-loss, I finally passed out, being absorbed into the black abyss.

For a second I saw a bright li--. Nope, the fires of hell. I was being dragged down to my eternal fate for being a horrible, immoral, selfish bastard with no soul. Nope, nevermind. I was awoken by Glen, shaking me violently. "Wake up you fat fucktard" He yelled at me in his best angry voice. I woke up and pulled him off of me, standing up. "Nope, I still don't feel anything. I could have sworn I had two missing limbs, and was dying, what happened?" I ask quizzically, looking at Glenn and tilting my head curiously.

"yea, uh, I think you died." He says flatly. "But...I'm..alive" I say hesitantly, unsure of everything now. "Dude, you can't die" Glenn says calmly, mimicking a phrase I have used time and time again. "But...I died." I say hesitantly again. "But you can't die" Glenn corrects me.

"Hold on, let me just go fuck logic up the ass" I say in a calm, yet slightly frustrated tone before laughing like a madman. "So, where the hell do we go now?" I ask calmly and curiously.

Glenn just shrugs, and starts playing his DS again. It was at that point I realized that I was naked. "Oh, seriously? I'm fucking thin. This is bullshit, where is my fat, and my muscle?" I ask in a now frustrated tone, glaring down at my now thin self.

"Did you honestly think you could come out of that fight with all of your body mass in tact?" Glenn asks me in a calm tone, keeping his eyes on his screen. "Well..guess you have a point...at least I'm alive" I say with a shrug as I look around us at the destroyed landscape. "well shit" I mutter and sigh.

Now I'm shorter, and thinner, and slightly toned, all of the loose ass cloths that I used to wear would not really be as fitting. I snap my fingers and dress myself in the same outfit as Desert Punk. I decided to have the helmet on for now seeing as we are in a nuclear wasteland and I don't feel like wasting magic on an atmospheric shield. Glenn is in his own atmospheric shield because he can.

We start walking through the wasteland and not more than half a mile away I see a little glint in the ground. I walk over to it and pick it up, it's my phone, in perfect condition."well, guess we can leave now" I say calmly and Glenn nods in confirmation.

I throw down a hole cartoon-style and we hop through. We come out the pocket I first hopped in and I snap my fingers and my old jacket disappears. The endless pocket is now on my new outfit, it seems. We shrug and walk back to the game of clue, continuing the game as I take off my helmet, figuring we could go through the phone with Kyle at a later date.

Author's Notes:

(tis Danny/Ommy)
This took me too long to post, hope you guys come back and read it
I also hope it satisfies all of your guy's need for obscure reference and explosions.
With that, i bid you, a good read.