I was still a bit screwed up by the concussion, but the doctors had managed to fix my eardrums with magic. It would apparently be a few hours before Danny woke up from his coma after sustaining "cranial trauma due to falling debris." That meant it was just me and Vinyl for a while.

"So honey, wanna go maybe get a hotel room?" I should not have kissed her earlier, we still had people to find.

"We need to focus on finding Glenn and everyone else first."

"Should I go get my Bass cannon again?"

"NO! Er I mean, that won't be necessary."

"Okay, so where should we start looking?"

"Well, I think we should check under the metaphorical rug."

"What?"

"Do you know anybody who can get into the catacombs under the city?"

"Isn't that where she kept Cadence last time? Why would she put them in the same place twice?"

"Because she's a dumb bitch?"

"That makes perfect sense to me, and it shouldn't."

"That's the story of my life. Get used to it."

"Yeah, let's go find a guard."

"Cause I'm sure they'll tell us about secret passages and things like that."

"Just watch me husband. Watch as I work my feminine wiles on these simple minded fools."

Vinyl walked towards the nearest guard, strutting like a model the whole time. The guard was still as a statue, and appeared to not give a single fuck.

"Hey soldier boy." She was using what was apparently the sexiest voice she had. Damn it was hot.

"What is it citizen?" You've gotta be shitting me. The fuckin' guard voice from Oblivion?

"How 'bout you show me where the entrance to the caves under Canterlot, and maybe I could show you the entrance to MY caves." She accented her badly hidden innuendo by quickly raising and lowering her eyebrows. My heart was beating faster just thinking about it, but the guard still didn't give a fuck.

"Move along citizen." That sonofabitch.

Vinyl walked away from the guard, and somehow shrugged.

"Sorry honey, these guys are robots."

"It's okay, but hang on a second, I gotta try something first." I walked up to the guard with a clear purpose in mind.

"I need directions."

"Of course citizen. where do you want to go?"

"The catacombs under Canterlot."

"Of course citizen. The nearest entrance to the catacombs is a sewer grate behind Thorn's Odds and Ends. It's just up the street, and to the left."

"Thanks."

"You know I used to be an adventurer like you-"

"Let me guess. You took an arrow to the knee?"

"No."

"Then I don't give a fuck. So shut your face." I then did an about face, and followed the directions he gave me to the grate. Sure enough, there was a rusty grate that appeared to be labeled 'sewers'. It took about ten seconds of pulling at the handles to finally get the damn thing off, whereupon I wondered why ponies would make sewer grates with handles meant for human hands.

"Mhm mhm. Don't that just smell like dandelions and roses." Vinyl was being sarcastic, but I was too focused on the putrid odor wafting out of it.

"No! It smells like shit! Because it's shit!"

"Well duh, it's a sewer, and you don't have to use that tone of voice."

"Okay fine. That smell doth remind me of the urine and feces of many thousands of individuals."

"Yeah yeah. Don't get all Shankspear on me." I did a very epic double take, followed by a brief Tebo. I then decided that we shouldn't waste any more time. I wanted to get them back through the sewage with enough energy to laugh at Glenn and the princesses' faces before I passed out from exhaustion. I very tentively climbed down the rusted ladder (what?) and stepped into the shit, literally.

I was immediately up to my knees in shit. AIDS anyone? I looked back up to see Vinyl trying to use the ladder like I had. Unfortunately, ladders are made for those with thumbs, so she slipped and fell. Don't worry, I caught her.

"Thanks. I almost got the bath of a lifetime." I was busy looking around, and there appeared to be two ways we could go. North, or south. I figured north was best, since it went straight under the palace.

"You can put me down now." I had almost forgot I was even holding her, she was pretty light.

"Oh sure, let me just put you in some shit water, let you stew for a while, that way you can get AIDS and die.

"What's an aids?"

"Never mind. Where do you want me to put you?"

"On the thing on the side." I looked to my right, and sure enough, there was a little balcony type thing right there. Not big enough for me by any means, but just about right for Vinyl. I set her down on the thing next to me, and we began walking together. We tried not to talk during the journey, since that would have meant opening our mouths. Trust me, a couple hours in a shit bath was enough for me to nearly go completely crazy.

After what seemed like days of wading through unspeakable horrors, we reached a crossroads. Luckily, there was a sign conveniently placed above the fork that pointed to the place we wanted to go, convenient. We went right, and sure enough, there seemed to be a branch-off that lead slightly upwards.

The path had no lighting like the sewer did, so we couldn't see too far ahead into the dank tunnel. I used my awesome magic that I almost forgot I had to make a small light, and we began walking up the cobweb coated crevice. I just hoped we didn't run into a giant spider, but it was still an improvement over wading in shit.

After about thirty minutes of still being almost unable to breathe, we reached the whole crystal bullshit from A Canterlot Wedding. Since I had a severe lack of patience I sparta kicked through the crystal into a room. An empty room.

"Fuck shit cock dick penis ass pussy bitch bastard cunt balls bollocks damn dammit godamn this godamming godammit bullshit! I used just about every word in french I knew just then, and it still didn't convey my rage. So I started screaming at the top of my lungs and demolishing crystal walls with my fists like a crazy guy.

"Kyle."

I continued my nonsensical ranting and destruction of everything I could find.

"Kyle!"

I was not done, not by a long shot.

"KYLE!"

Vinyl came over and slapped me in the face. I was about to slap her like a bitch, but then I saw that she was pointing with a hoof towards a wall I had destroyed in my rage, and lo and behold, there were fluttershy, Glenn, and both the princesses. Tied up and squirming like fish out of water.

"Can you turn off the flaming hair please?" It was then that I noticed my hair was on fire. Not like burning up on fire, just flaming. Awesome. Still, it would have to go. I stood up and regained my composure. Then I slowly walked towards the place where they were being held captive. I untied each one in turn, and they all began rubbing the spots where they had been tied up. It looked like they'd actually been here since they were captured without receiving any food or water. Leave it to the queen to be too stupid to take care of her hostages.

"I guess you were in another castle. Huh Glenn?"

"What?" His voice was rather monotone and calm for a person who'd been sitting in a dark, shitty crystal cave for about a day.

"Never mind. Let's just get out of here."

*Maniacal laughter*

"What is that?" Glenn asked.

*Maniacal laughter*

"I know that laugh."

"Okay dude, Star Wars was cool, but you didn't need to reference it." I was a little amused, but we had to leave this shithole.

"You fell into my trap. Just as I planned."

*Sigh* "Okay. First rule of trapping. Make sure the target doesn't release the bait before you spring the trap, especially when the bait is two demigoddesses."

"It matters not. My army will kill you before you can even fight." I turned around and looked at her and her giant army of changelings.

"How the fuck do you know? You never even saw me fight. I could be an all powerful God here for all you know. You don't bring your whole army to the field at one time without knowing an enemy's strength. That's like combat 101. And why would you choose this spot? It's too cramped for your enormous numbers to make any difference, and plus, if we kill you, this all ends. How did you survive by the way? That cannon disintegrated a mountain."

"I got out of the way before it fired."

"What? You displayed intelligence? Amazing!"

"Don't patronize me."

"You keep using that word, but I don't think it means what you think it means."

"Enough of this! I'll take care of you myself."

The queen jumped down from her perch atop a crystal ledge, and walked slowly towards me. Her complete disdain and disrespect for me was all to visible in the look in her eyes. She was much too confident.

"Don't touch him you ugly bug!" Vinyl was suddenly in front of me. The fuck was she gonna do?

"Let me handle this Vinyl. I'm going this one alone."

"But Kyle! You lost a barfight with Lyra! How do you plan to beat the queen of the changelings?"

"Vinyl! Go over there and provide me with positive reinforcement. Now."

"Fine."

She went back over to Glenn and the rest, leaving me alone on the field with Chrysalis. Except for that changeling bastard trying to get behind me. I pretty much had Byakugan right now, I knew what that rat prick was doing almost before he did.

As expected, Chrysalis began pacing around to my left, moving in a large circle around me, trying to get an opening. I began mirroring her movement. I could let the little changeling behind me, but not the queen. She would flay me alive if I gave her the opportunity. The changeling was straight behind me now, if there was ever a time for it to play dirty, it was now. Sure enough, it started diving towards me.

"Look out!" I couldn't quite tell who shouted that, but it was about ten seconds too late, I was already reacting.

As the changeling came down, Chrysalis captured me in a telekinesis spell. She was trying to hold me down while the changeling raped my ass with its claws. Fuck that. I did a split second teleportation exactly one foot to the right. Putting my left elbow (I am left handed) about level with his ugly face. I appeared to have all the time in the world due to the combination of adrenaline and magic coursing through my bloodstream. The changeling's face impacted my elbow as I was bringing it back. Effectively doubling the force of a blow which would have already caused horrible injuries.

The changeling's exoskeleton audibly cracked when it hit my arm. I could see every give and break in its face as it continued to ram into my arm at absurdly slow motion. Then time seemed to speed up, and the changeling's head broke like it had been sledgehammered. Green blood exploded out of its head like a popped water balloon, and I got some new stains on my clothing that I wished had never happened in the first place.

I immediately felt an all-encompassing sense of guilt. I had never killed another truly intelligent being before, and now that I had, I didn't feel any sense of accomplishment, but I had others to defend, they would die if I didn't do this. So I didn't hesitate. I did a teleportation so that I was directly to the left of Chrysalis, facing towards her. I knew that teleportation still kept some of the momentum from traveling the intervening space between points A and B, I used this momentum to effectively clothesline the Queen by extending my left arm outwards into her face.

Chrysalis staggered backwards and shook her head. Her nose was bleeding a bit. Or was it her muzzle? Snout? Anyway, I had drawn first blood, which gave me a slight advantage. I chose to press the attack, I rapidly delivered a right hook, then a left, then a straight punch to the snout. She did a strange pulse at that moment that sent me back about twenty feet. I hit the ground rolling, and managed to recover, just in time to see a black blur coming my way. I suddenly felt magically infused adrenaline flooding my veins again. Looks like my second wind was right on time.

The queen's movements quite suddenly slowed to comically lethargic. I had all the time in the world to plan my strategy. She was coming at me superman style. One foreleg outstretched to hit me straight in the face. Should I use this to my advantage? No, too dangerous. Dodging out of the way was the best bet. I did a roll on the ground and jumped up to avoid the impending doom that was the queen's giant hoof.

She flew at the spot where my head had been only about a second ago, though it was about five for me. The queen was unprepared for me to avoid the attack, and landed rather badly on the ground. She used her wings to right herself and turned to face me. A look of pure rage etched on her now rather beat up features. It was time to wipe that look off her face for good.

She used a teleportation spell to attempt to get behind me. I somehow knew this before she even materialized, and my body was turning while my fist accelerated towards the spot where I sensed her face would be before her spell was even done. She materialized just in time to get a good look at my face before I planted my knuckles in hers. A little bit of blood and spit came out of her mouth as her head was catapulted to the side by the force of the impact. I followed up with a ballet spin and a downwards slam with the same fist, better to use the momentum to continue than to waste it by correcting and using the other fist.

Her head was still on its downward plunge into the dirt courtesy of yours truly, when I did another spin while making a quarter circle around her body so my leg was perpendicular to her spine when I slammed my booted foot into her stomach. I chose that area because it had no ribs, and would therefore cause much less damage to my foot than it would to her body. Of course, I neglected to remember that she had an exoskeleton, and it would therefore not matter where I hit her. Of course, there was a silver lining. I found out that the underbelly is a rather weak spot, because as my foot connected with her gut, there seemed to be about an inch and a half of give.

Chrysalis was visibly pained by the blow. As well she should have been, her hooves momentarily lost contact with the ground because of the sheer force of the blow. The queen teleported about one second later, but not to attack me, she wanted to get away from me for a second. She appeared on the balcony a little later. Time was speeding up again, and my senses were dulling. I was already breathing heavily, the combination of magic and heavy muscle use was already taking its toll. I was using magic to push my muscles beyond their normal limits, taking a risk to deal as much damage as I could in order to end the fight a bit quicker. I realized that I might need to be a bit more patient if I was to win this.

"You fight well for an insolent rat, but let's see how you deal with my children." The changelings behind her didn't appear to be particularly afraid, even after what I did to the last one that tried. This was going to be much more interesting than I thought. A group of changelings jumped into what was basically the arena. They did not look happy. I was going to have to think fast if I wanted to win this one.