I’m not so sure if this is a bad thing or not.

“Really, the Big Pear?” I say. “What the heck are we doing here?”

Budge led me to the base of a skyscraper, the Big Pear, one of the premiere luxury hotels of Manehattan. It’s on the edge of the Green Zone, almost hugging the border with Yellow. There are bellhops standing outside alongside some heavily armed Blackwatch units, so I think this place is still in service.

“Delivering paperwork,” Budge says. Huh, that’s the first thing he’s said to me this entire trip. All he’s been doing is giving me the stink eye. I think he’s a bit pissed with a “monster” tagging along. “Do me a favor while we’re here. Don’t say we work for Pinkie Pie.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated. Just keep your mouth shut.” And he leaves it at that.

Alright, no word of Pinkie. That should be easy. There are guards patrolling back and forth at the entrance, and many more stationed on the street. None of them bother us.

I’m currently disguised as Fruit Punch, but she’s dead. A smart goon would pick me out in an instant if he saw my face. That’s why I have the full Blackwatch suit to cover my face, courtesy of Cherry. As far as they know, I’m one of them. “Does Blackwatch need room service? What the heck are they holding up a hotel for?”

Budge moves for the entrance, nodding at the bellhop and the guards stationed at the doors. “I think they’re paying us to guard it, the hotel that is. We’re nowhere close to the Red Zone, but they want the extra security to keep their guests happy. Business keeps booming during the end times, apparently.”

We go through the entrance and into the main lobby. It’s a bit similar to the theater lobby, albeit with hotel stuff in it. “And the hotel wants paperwork?”

“Captain Slaw wants paperwork. He likes our department to report directly to him. Half of it’s the situation we’re in. The other half is he gets cupcakes when Pinkie’s around.”

“The Captain gets a fancy room and cupcakes?” I brush a bit of dust off my Blackwatch suit. “Then why are us goons sleeping on the floor and eating cold slop?”

Budge looks at me with a scowl. “First off, you’re not one of us. You’re only pretending to be, and that crime deserves far worse than what you’ve been getting.”

My eyes roll, but the goggles hide the gesture.

“Second, Captain Slaw doesn’t stay here. He’s in a meeting with the big boss. He gets the same food and the same beds as we do.”

“Allegedly.”

“And you can allegedly shove your beak up your”- Budge smacks face first into the elevator doors. With the heavy armor he’s wearing, the smack comes with a loud metal clattering and he drops to the floor. Several Blackwatch guards turn to look at the sound. I can hear them snickering.

I come up next to the large klutz and press the up button. “You have to wait for the elevator to open before you walk through.”

He pushes himself up, rubbing the side of his face as he does so. “Shut up.”

The elevator opens. He steps in, and I follow. He presses the button for the top floor, the doors close, the elevator makes a whirring noise, and up we go.

“So the big boss is staying here?” I ask. “And he’s holding meetings here too?”

“In the penthouse,” Budge says. “Prince Blueblood wants all the fancy thing-a-ma-jigs.”

My eyebrows go up. “Prince Blueblood stays here?”

“When he’s in Manehattan. Folks say he’s a pain in the ass to work with. So the less he’s on the island, the better.”

This is convenient. Within the same hour, I’ve been told who I need to find to locate Rainbow Dash, and where to find him. Heck, I could get lunch, watch a movie, and come back just in time to wave hello to the Prince when he arrives. My day’s been wrapped up in a pretty little bow and spoon fed to me from a silver platter!

“You know,” I say, “I didn’t expect the Blackwatch Big Boss to be a prince held up in a penthouse suite. I’d expect him to be sitting in an underground lair, looking at big screens and plotting something nefarious.”

Budge scoffs at me. “That’s what every comic book villain does. We should go for bigger. Personally, I want my big boss to be sitting in a giant, flying fortress. Something not too far off from the one in Daring Do and the Birds of Shamouti.”

I grin. So we got a Daring Do fan. “I can see that. Blackwatch does have the airships.” I look up at the little arrow above the door. It says we’re halfway up the building now. “What about a base on a battleship?”

“Like Captain Rose in Power Ponies?” Damn, this guy knows his pop culture. “Ha, that’ll never happen. Equestria likes their ships too much to give one to us. Luna’s stubborn about it.”

“What about a battle ship commanded by Captain Rose himself?”

“We're just imagining this, right?”

I nod.

“We already have trouble cleaning up Blacklight. We don’t need to clean up all the rose petals that bastard leaves behind.”

I laugh. Yeah, that would be a problem. “Hey, did you notice something?”

“What?”

I grin. “We’re getting along.”

Budge looks down at me. “No we’re not.”

“Yes we are. We’re talking about Blackwatch bases and comic books.”

“So what? You’re still a monster.”

“Well, that’s rude.”

“Good.” The elevator dings, the doors open wide, and Budge steps out. “The day I get along with you is the day I jump off a building.”

I follow behind him. I guess a little elevator talk isn’t going to change anyone’s mind. “The day’s still young. Make sure to do a backflip on the way down.”

We head down the hallway, passing by the blue-eyes standing guard. I say standing guard loosely. I count five of them. Three of them are playing cards on a fold out table, and one guy by the elevator is reading a book. Only two of them are doing any actual guarding, and that’s at the far end of the hallway. Here stand Equestria’s finest. Blackwatch hires the best.

Budge nods to the two guards when we reach them, and they perk up. “Pinkie Pie’s not with you?” the left one asks.

Huh, what happened to no word on Pinkie?

“She’s busy,” Budge says. “Maybe next time.”

“Damn, and I’m itching for some cupcakes,” the one on the right says. “She promised to bring cupcakes.”

Hmm, maybe that’s it. She gives out too many cupcakes. There must be some weird policy about not eating on the job.

“I remember, I was there.” Budge walks on through with me on his tail. I exchange a quick nod with them, and they go back to doing whatever. Wow, security’s lax around here. No asking for ID. What kind of hack operation is Blackwatch running here?

As Budge said earlier, this room is the penthouse. Let me tell you, this room earned its name. First thing I see when we walk in, vaulted ceilings. Freaking vaulted ceilings, with murals. It’s like they ripped the roof off a cathedral and plopped it on top of this skyscraper. That has to cost a billion bits at least!

But there’s more. Budge moves his big butt out of the way, and I get a view of the rest of this place. In the middle, sunken into the floor, there’s a large pit surrounded by a circle of couches. Red hot coals are smoldering in the pit, so it’s one of those fireless pit type of deals. You could roast s’mores for days and not set the roof on fire!

And on the right wall, son of a bison, the entire right wall is an aquarium! Just a big, massive tank full of water and fish, swimming around and doing expensive fish things! It’s tacky as heck, but Grover be damned that’s worth a fortune. Everyone in Griffonstone could sell their right leg and left kidney and they wouldn’t even come close to the price of one of those fancy fish swimming in that aquarium!

I can’t stop myself from letting out a long whistle. “Whose dick do I have suck dry to afford this place?”

“Prince Blueblood’s,” Budge says. “But you have to do fellatio with his assistant first.”

Before I could say anything, a couple of yelling voices draw my attention away from the aquarium and towards the other side of the room. More specifically, behind a closed door. “You broke the deal! You broke the fucking deal! What gives you nerds the right to use my guys as lab rats!?”

“He was my body guard, and he sustained severe injuries on the job. With my way, we don’t have to go through workers' comp.”

“You didn’t give him a fucking choice!”

“He’ll have a choice later.” Wait, that voice sounds familiar. “Convenience stores sell razors for an affordable price.”

“No! Fucking no!” A door slams open, and a pegasus in a blue-lined Blackwatch suit storms out. He’s a tall yellow guy, with his mane completely chopped off. It’s just peach fuzz on top of his head. Oh, and he looks pissed. “Your head’s going to roll for this, you hear me?! Roll!”

I lean over to Budge and whisper, “Cole Slaw, I presume.”

Budge nods. “Yep.”

“I think you’ll find my head is firmly attached to my neck. It’s quite a pain to roll.” Another pony steps out the door. A unicorn, a purple unicorn… Oh hey, it’s that unicorn from the theater. What’s he doing here? “Your head, on the other hoof… Doesn’t Doctor Eureka keep a head in a jar?”

Cole Slaw jabs a hoof at the unicorn’s chest. “You’ll regret fucking with me. You want more test subjects? Stick your vials up your own nerds’ asses, starting with your own!” He swings around, almost smacking the unicorn with his tail. He makes it five steps before he notices us.

“Shit, I forgot you were coming.”

“Is this a bad time?” Budge asks.

“No worse than usual.” Cole Slaw walks up to us. “Come on, fill me in as we go.”

The unicorn arches his brow. “What’s this, an appointment I didn’t know about?”

“It’s none of your concern,” the pegasus barks.

“With that attitude, it is my concern.”

“Too bad.”

Cole Slaw marches by. The unicorn gives me a curious look. Those eyes, those bright blue eyes. Damn, those eyes are intense. It’s like he’s going to strap me down and interrogate me.

Is he going to ask me something? I think he is. Better play it safe. “And before you ask,” I say, “no, we don’t have cupcakes. Pinkie Pie was busy.”

Cole Slaw freezes next to me. His head slowly turns until our eyes meet. His eyes are burning. They’re bloodshot and burning.

“Pinkie Pie?” The unicorn’s horn glows, and the doors slam shut behind us. “You didn’t mention anything in your report to me about Pinkie Pie.”

“It’s a PR thing,” Cole Slaw snaps, not taking his glare off me. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t, but Prince Blueblood is very much worried about PR. Come back inside Captain Slaw. Tell me about Pinkie.” The unicorn walks back through the door, but glances back before he goes completely through. “And bring the messengers with you”

Captain Slaw swears under his breath. “Why the fuck did you say that?!”

From the way he’s standing, I bet he’s ready to pounce on me and rip my neck out. “I thought he was going to ask about the cupcakes.”

“You fucking dumbass! You just screwed yourself over!” Slaw stomps back to the room. Budge nods for us to follow, and we do so. From behind, I can hear Slaw muttering to himself. “I could use one of her cupcakes right now.”

We follow into a dark room with dim, neon lights. Huh, this is a departure from the expense of the last room. There’s a bar on one side of the room, with a wall stocked with liquors of all kinds. I imagine the cheapest bottle on that shelf is about half a million bits.

In the back of the room, in an area with a bit more lighting, are three poles sticking out of a stage area. On the middle pole, there’s a beige mare with burgundy hair flipping and twirling on the pole. She’s wearing a black, leather corset, with a short skirt and long stockings. She jumps up to the top of the pole, spins around it while sliding down. She stops at the middle, looks over at us, and winks at me.

Okay, this is giving me a weird feeling. A low-end strip club in the penthouse suite of one of the top hotels in the biggest city in all of Equestria. Why?

The unicorn whistles, and the stripper looks up at him. “Roseluck, take the Dozer’s report and look it over.”

The mare flips right-side-up and hops off the pole. She walks up to Budge, holds up a hoof, and gestures to hand over the paperwork.

Budge looks down at the mare. He towers over her, so it looks like a kid asking her dad to cough up the allowance money. Given what she’s wearing, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s role-played that before.

“Dozer, the report,” the unicorn says. “I know you have it.”

Budge shakes his head and pulls out a stack of papers from his saddlebag. The mare takes it, smiles at him, and gives me another wink before turning around and flicking me with the tip of her tail. Why do ponies do that with their tails? The winking and mock flirting I get, she’s a stripper. But why the tail?

“Take a seat.” The unicorn nods to a couple of lounge couches. “Do you two want anything to drink? I have all the finest spirits in all of Equestria. Anything you want.”

“I’m good,” Budge says as he takes a seat. I shake my head and sit next to him. Yes, I’m sitting next to the big klutz who wants me dead. This unicorn is throwing off some nasty vibes, and I can tell Budge feels them too. We’re united in our suspicion

The unicorn’s magic grabs a bottle and glass from the bar, and he pours himself a cold one. “Excuse my manners. I’ve let strangers in my domain and we haven’t introduced each other yet.” He places a hoof on his chest and kneels down to bow. “I am Prince Blueblood’s personal liaison to Manehattan, Doctor Arctic North, esquire.”

Arctic North, so this is the guy that gave me a hard time at the theater.

My buddy takes the initiative to introduce us. “Budge.” He grunts and points to me. “And this is Cherry Spice.”

“Budge and Cherry, the pleasure is mine.” The unicorn takes a sip of his chosen poison. “I want you two to be straightforward with me. Prince Blueblood will be hearing this later. How are you involved with Miss Pie?”

Cole Slaw steps in. “This is a pointless waste of”-

Arctic North raises a hoof. “Ah ah ah, I’m asking your messengers the questions.”

The pegasus steps back, biting his lip. Both Budge and Cole Slaw glare at me. What’s with the hostility? Is Pinkie’s name on a blacklist or something?

“We’re with the Quarantine Welfare Program,” Budge says. “Our job is to improve moral around the Yellow Zone. Hosting events, playing with the kids, stuff like that.

The unicorn tilts his head. “And Miss Pie?

Budge shoots me another glare. “Pinkie Pie gets herself involved with the kids. She goes around the quarantine tents and holds little parties for them. Like Captain Slaw said, it’s for PR.”

“That sounds like an admirable venture. It warms my heart knowing ponies still care.” Another sip, and the unicorn glances at the stripper. “Roseluck, what’s in the report?”

The mare is skimming through the stack. She looks up and tosses it on the bar top. “Transfer papers. It’s all for kids in Yellow Quarantine transferring to their parents’ care.”

“A simple policy change, such a harmless thing.” The unicorn looks at Cole Slaw. “Filing paperwork and entertaining the children, I see you’ve sentenced Miss Pie to community service.”

Sentenced, like a prison sentence? Did Pinkie do something I wasn’t aware about?

A buzz erupts from Cole Slaw’s suit. He presses a button and talks into it. “Captain Slaw here.”

“There’s a griffon sighting on Pigs Street,” the voice box crackles. “He’s moving fast and hiding in a crowd. We have reason to suspect it’s Zero.”

Griffon sighting? So Blackwatch is watching the griffons on the streets. They must be looking out for me. Well someone’s going to be disappointed. That’s not me.

Arctic North shakes his head. “Don’t waste resources on that call. It won’t be worth it.”

Cole Slaw sneers at North and turns away from him. “Get the airships in the sky and maintain distance until they arrive. Don’t let Zero know you’re following him until you’re ready to strike.”

“Roger.”

Still calling me a him? Learn your genders, you cloud-sucking foal. Anyone who says ponies aren’t racist can stick a fork up their butts.

“With all due respect, Doctor,” Cole Slaw says, glaring at the unicorn. “You have no authority over my boys. And for the record, yes, Pinkie is doing community service. That’s my dirty little secret. You can take that piece of news and shove it up Blueblood’s ass when you fuck each other tonight.”

Cole Slaw turns for the door. Arctic North whistles, and Roseluck dashes across the room to body block Slaw’s exit. “With all due respect, Captain,” North says with a cold voice. “You just sent your boys on a fool’s errand. They’ll find a greedy little griffon with a clawfull of bits he pickpocketed from the fine folks of Manehattan. At best, you’ll pick a petty criminal off the streets.”

“At best, my guys will turn Zero into a cloud of fine, red mist.”

Red mist? Ha. Your guys haven’t done jack. The monsters did more work on me than your goons ever did.

“Still the antagonist, as always.” North puts his drink on the bartop and lifts over the stack of papers. “Let’s make a deal, Captain. This child transfer policy is a fine idea. I’ll personally sign each with the royal seal. That’ll ease your burdens. Afterwards, I’ll show a special project my boys are about to complete, just to show we’re both still on the same side. It’ll make your spine tingle.”

Cole Slaw grunts. “Thanks for the offer, but after what you did to one of mine, I’m going to disrespectfully refuse.”

“I understand your hesitation, but allow me to finish. For your end of the deal, you’re going to personally shut down this rogue organization of yours, you will arrest Miss Pinkie Pie and give her a proper sentencing,”-

An arrest… Oh shit. I think I might have ruined everything for Pinkie.

-“And before this meeting is over,” he pushes the papers over to Cole Slaw, “you’re going to apologize for your misconduct and appalling language.”

Slaw stares at North for what feels like forever. Budge and I look at each other. I can see the mixed emotions in his face. He’s worried for Pinkie Pie and what’s going to happen to QWP. He’s also pissed at me for blowing everything up with only a sentence.

In our moment of silence, I hear something skitter. I look around the room to try to find the source of the noise. What the heck is making that skittering? I swear I’ve heard something like that before.

Finally, after a long minute of silence, Cole Slaw knocks the papers out of the air, scattering them all over the place.“I am never apologizing to you!”

“I don’t expect you to do so now.” North picks his glass back up takes another sip. “Do so in five minutes. I still need to make a case as to why you should take this deal. Then you’ll apologize.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Indulge me.” North looks over in my direction. “Miss Cherry Spice, I have a question for you.”

I jump at the sudden attention. The train of thought with the skittering sound breaks. “I, uh… What?”

“How long have you been working with Pinkie Pie?”

Crap, I got to talk now. Got to keep it cool, keep my answers short and safe. “As long as Budge has.”

“And how long is that.”

“Since the beginning.”

“The beginning,” he repeats. “So you where there when Miss Pinkie Pie was smuggling explosives into Manehattan under the nose of the military.”

Wait what? Pinkie was running a smuggling operation? With explosives? That doesn’t sound right. “Uh, I wasn’t here for that.”

“I see. Then you were part of the operation to traffic ponies off the island and onto the mainland, putting the entire world at risk to a global, uncontrollable outbreak.”

“No, I wasn’t.” Was Pinkie running a crime organization? Is that why we’re in trouble? Is the daycare for storing drugs?

I hear the skittering again, and now I have a good lock on it. I look where I think it’s coming from, straight in front of me, but up a little. My eyes go up, looking above North’s head.

“So I assume you joined Pinkie upon the creation of QWP, along with your companion Budge.”

I'm trying my best to pay attention to both Arctic North and the skittering“Yeah, sounds about right.”

There, on the ceiling, that’s where it’s coming from. A small black dot is running in circles above Arctic North. It’s small, with long antenna, and bright green eyes. Hey, it’s a bug. It’s just like the bug back in Pinkie’s office!

“Of course. You wouldn’t be a Blackwatch agent if you were caught doing those things along with Pinkie Pie. You’re not that inept.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Why the heck is a bug crawling around here? Is someone spying on both Pinkie and Arctic North? Between North and the bug, Pinkie is well within her right to be paranoid.

“But I have one question. For putting the world at risk with her smuggling shenanigans, Miss Pie should receive a much harsher punishment far beyond the meagerness of community service. But Captain Slaw sees it otherwise. If you worked with Pinkie as long as your friend Budge, then you would’ve known to keep your mouth shut about such matters.”

I glance around. Everyone is looking at me, even Roseluck. She’s giving me the bedroom eyes, but she’s still looking at me. And that damn bug isn’t leaving. It’s skittering is driving me insane!

“I thought everyone knew. They guards outside got cupcakes from her once.”

North looks at Slaw. “Your guards know? This makes it an open secret. I feel insulted not hearing about this.”

I can feel Cole Slaw's glare burning a hole through me. “My guards know how ridiculous the situation is, North. She was just bringing in fireworks, and she wanted to get some scared kids back to their families. You’re making her sound like an international criminal.”

Oh, fireworks and scared kids. is that really that big of a deal?

“I’ll let Blueblood decide the matter. I expect no more secrets from here on out. Even if they are the open kind.”

I hope her Pinkie Sense can sense trouble when it’s coming, because I think it’s going to come down hard on her.

North looks back at me with cold eyes. “Still, Miss Spice, you should know better than to let secrets loose. Is there anything else you would like to share? Anything dangerous, you could say.”

Another buzz comes from Cole Slaw’s radio. He punches it again and speaks into it. “Status report?”

“The griffon spotted us. He confronted an agent and incapacitated him. He stole his firearm and is now running through the Green Zone.”

That griffon’s getting frisky. And he’s got one of Blackwatch’s weapons. Good on him.

“Shit. Put out an alert. Evacuate the area and move those damn airships already!”

“Roger.”

With a bit of static, Cole Slaw’s radio goes dead. However, another buzz emits, this time from Budge’s voice box. “All units, we have visual of Zero on Pigs Street. Target is large, looks like he’s part owl, and has a blue case over his back. Target has a firearm and is dangerous. Be on the lookout, air support is on the way.”

Part owl? Son of a bison, that’s Tanya! Blackwatch is going after Tanya! And they’re sending airships after her! I barely survived with two of them shooting at me. She’s not going to last five seconds with those things bearing down on her!

Arctic North rests his chin on his hoof and stares at me. “It that your friend, Miss Spice?”

Of course she’s my friend. Sure, she’s a bitch of a roommate, but she’s a good-

Why did he say that?

"We've all seen what Blackwatch is capable of. A normal griffon won't last long against an airship brigade." North has a smirk stretching across his face.

That look, I’ve seen that look in too many comic books. That’s the jig is up look. He knows who I am.

I glance up. The bug is still there, circling around. Whoever that bug belongs to, I hope they’re good people and will get Pinkie out of whatever jam is coming to her. I got more immediate matters to attend to.

“Where’s the bathroom,” I blurt out. I push myself off the couch and hobble over to the door. Roseluck is still blocking it. I hope she has the sense to get out of the way. “It’s an emergency. That time of month and all.”

Cole Slaw coughs and steps out of the way. “Around the corner through the kitchen.”

I nod to Slaw, then look at Roseluck. She’s not budging. She’s only giving me those bedroom eyes. “I said it’s an emergency. Move.”

“Oh Captain,” Arctic North says, “Remember when I said I needed to build my argument before we made the deal?”

Roseluck stands up on her hind legs, and swings out one of the magic shooter things, and unloads it point blank.

My vision fills with hellfire as Roseluck lights me up with magic. They tear through my suit and fry my skin. They don’t do much damage, but son of a bison that stings.

North raises a hoof. “This is my argument.”

Roseluck stops shooting. Cole Slaw is looking at me, slack jawed. My suit is in ribbons, and my flesh looks like Swiss cheese. Smoke is rising from the holes, and some black goop is leaking out. But I’m still standing, and my wounds are healing right in front of the Blackwatch Captain.

Cole Slaw is wide-eyed, and he stutters. “You’re… you’re…”

“I swear I’m good at keeping secrets.” I shapeshift out of my pony form and into my more impressive griffon form, drawing out my monster claws as I do so. “It’s just a bad day for me.”

Cole Slaw looks around the room, flares his wings out, and jumps back. “Kill her!”

I level my claws at Roseluck. To my surprise, she steps out of the way, and waves a hoof for the door. And she winks at me. Damn that winking.

“What are you doing?!” Cole Slaw screeches. “Don’t let her go!”

“I’m afraid there’s nothing anyone here can do,” Arctic North says. “She’ll tear us apart if we try anything. But don’t worry, Orion will do the job for us.”

Cole Slaw yells, “I said don’t fuck with my boys!”

“He was my guard, you know.” North smiles at me. “You already met Orion, Gilda. You pushed him out of my airship, remember?”

Great, he’s got a “secret” weapon for me. A guy who almost died brought back to life, I’m assuming. “Let me guess, Orion is a super soldier.”

North tilts his head. “How’d you guess?”

“I read comic books.”

He chuckles. “Go save your friend. You’re wasting my time.”

I glance back before I take off. This feels weird. Here’s a guy who’s out to kill me, and he’s letting me go. And he’s telling me I’m going to be fighting a super soldier in his place.

Whatever. Tanya needs help.

Cole Slaw is still yelling when I leave. Budge hasn’t said anything. He’s been sitting in shock this entire time. Let them be. I dash out the door and head for the windows. I take one last look at this place. I'll be back for Blueblood.

The windows shatter as I crash on through. I glide over the Manehattan streets, which are thousands of thousands of feet below me. It’s a beautiful sight. I fold my wings in, and drop.

The wind whistles through my feathers. The ground gets closer, and closer, until finally-

SHRACK! The street erupts in a big massive crater. A massive shockwave fires out away from me. Blackwatch soldiers and hotel bellhops go flying in the air as the ground bows and flips them over. It’s freaking chaos.

I dash out of the crater full sprint. Those Blackwatch dudes can sort their own problems out. Tanya needs my help, and I need to get there as soon as I can!

Damn, I thought this day was going to be easy. Why can’t this ever be easy?

Author's Notes:

You’re playing on Easy. Would you like to increase the difficulty?

>Yes.

>No, you pussy.