THIS IS SPA... oh wait...

Day 17, Ponyville

Last night we finally convinced the town to  drink, well not necessarily drink the anti - gibber- like -a -complete Pororocan serum-stew-thing... now as for how we did it.

==Last Night==

"Epic Sugar Time reading cook S*Squee*T, we bout to take friendship to a whole new LEVEL! What you know about bananas, BE-YETCH!" We gathered a huge crowd rather quickly with our outdoor bakery, most of them wondering how we were talking normally. I turned up the speakers and played the EMT theme on 11. Rainbow Dash put on a pair of shades.

"I got mah home bronies here, Rainbows Glasses (Rainbow dash), SCC Russia (Pinkie Pie with one of those Russian Fluffy hats), and PrincessAtari (Daring Do with spiky mane)." I take out 10 bottles of AppleJack Daniels, "We about to get drunk on all this liquor." Rarity uses special Effect magic to make a title appear over our heads.

Super Kuroyanagi Pie

(I have no idea how tuna fits in to this...)

"We Ain't no regular cooking show, we don't even have a channel! So we use whatever we WANT!" I start lining the bottom of the Pie Plate, which is rather large considering it covers half the kitchen counter.

"Hay Bacon strips!"

"Hay Bacon strips!"

"Hay Bacon strips!"

"Hay Bacon strips!"

"Hay Bacon strips!"

HayBaconStrips

Friendship Counter: 900

"AppleJack DAGNELS!" I start breaking bottles into the mixing bowl, "SUGAR, WATER (This is where we sneak in the stew, it's colorless so it works), FLOUR, DONE! IT'S a F*Squee*ing batter! Now the EGGS! WHAT UP EGGBEATAH!!!" I had to do it just once before I die. I point over to Vinyl Scratch.

"Let's SPIN this S*Squee*t!" We headbang to dubstep for the next ten minutes.

"More Hay bacon strips and More AppleJack Daniels!" I dump the stuff into the mixing bowl, "F*Squee*in SMART!" Rainbows Glasses downs an Entire Bottle of AppleJack Daniels. She breaks the emptybottle on the counter.

HayBaconStrips and AppleJackDanells

FriendShip Counter: 1337

"ARRR! how am I gonna pay for all this?" That's my cue.

"You want random, WE GOT RANDOM! www.wolfflix.com/haybaconstrips, you get 1 month free access to all the F*squee*in random sauce videos you want, and SCC Russia get's cupcake money." SCC Russia breaks the fourth wall and grabs the monitor.

"DON'T YOU F*Squee*k THIS UP FOR ME! I NEED MY CUPCAKE MONEY!" *clap*...*clap*...*clap*... Bravo Pinkie.

"Let's CRUST THIS BITCH!" I staple the edges of the pieplate with the crust, "Pop it in the oven, turn the dial up make toast!" I here a cowbell riff play me off, must not let opportunity pass!

"YEAH TOAST!!!" I scream it at the top of my lungs, "UNH TOAST!"

I hear the eggtimer go off.

"Ding, IT'S A F*Squee*in Pie!" I take out some Whip cream, "Let's spread some delicious on this Bi-otch!"

Den a Whip CREEAMS

Friendship counter: 9001

"What's whip cream without some Muthabuckin CHERRIES!" I tap Rainbows Glasses and She dumps a bucket of cherries onto the pie. The crowd's going wild by now.

$#!+ Loada Cherries

Friendship Counter: 5K337

"We took friendship, AND MADE IT INTO A MUTHAFUZZIN PIE!

"But what flavour is it?" Pinkie asked.

"PIE FLAVOUR!" Someone struck a random guitar riff, "WHO'S HUNGRY NOW!" The entire town dove into the pie, the night air now filled with the glorious repetition of Om-Nom-Nom! Nyan Cat must be barrel rolling in space right now. My jaw drops to the floor As I see a cat flying across the sky,rainbows trailing behind it, and it's body a genuine Strawberry Poptart. I looked at Rarity and RD, both just saw what I just saw, I regain my composure and use my greatest Rarity impression.

"Let us never speak of this again..." They both nodded.

==Present==

"Wake Up sunshine!" Discord says in a sing-song voice.

"Good Morning Dis-" ZE FAHK!!! i faceplant the floor next to my bed. I pull a rash British voice for my next statement.

"DAHMIT DISCORD!" I think that went well, what took me by real surprise was the mane 6 sleeping around my bed. I start sweating bullets.

*Aoi processing cycle*

"WHAT IN DE FUQ!" My yell wakes up everyone, "Who, I mean whatcha, What is everyone doing here!?"

"Ooh, i know I know!" Pinkie was the first to respond, "We had a SLEEP OVER!" Twilight Immediately defied Pinkie.

"OBJECTION!" I facepawed, "I don't remember doing anything on my Sleepover check list." This could get dicy.

"OKAY! ALL SIX OF YOU ARE IN MY HOUSE AROUND MY BED AND NOW NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE COWBELL HAPPENED!" I bust my face through the wall out of frustration. Then I start to back track... Consumption of approximately 80 fluid oz. of an liquor based alcoholic beverage, I should be dead from alcohol poisoning.

*Aoi Processing cycle*

'Oh dear god in heaven...' Mane 6 IN MY House, each having drunken VAST amounts of Al KeE Hawl, can mean only one thing.

"My GOD!...We got plastered and blew the roof off of Ponyville..." Then the Moment that makes it 20% more WTF.

"I take it you're all awake now." SHIET! IT'S PRINCESS LUNA!...

2 hours after the panicking stopped.

I sit at my kitchen table, with the mane 6 and Princess Luna sitting around me, pinching my nose in a mix of confusion and frustration. Luna starts patting her apron labled 'Nothing like Moon Cooked Apple Pie'. After sitting in silence for several minutes I end the silence with a facetable.

4 minutes later.

The mane 6 and Princess Luna stand around the Locked bathroom door hearing me cry under a running shower.

10 minutes later.

I scribble frantically on a piece of parchment, but the only thing exiting onto the paper are random doodles and incoherent squiggles. I facedesk.

12 minutes later.

"DAMN! I got nothing..." everyone simultaneously blinks twice. I get up and start laying down on the ground in upside-down plank formation.

"So, What's going on, Luna, you first since you have some inkling of what's going on," Luna Puts her hoof to her chin as to recall what happened last night.

"Well as I recall."

==Last night, Canterlot Royal Palace==

"Luna's what do you want for dinner?" Celestia asked peeking into the refrigerator.

"Do we still have some of that Wonderfull MMM?"

"Nope, fresh out," she peeks her head out from over the fridge with a muzzle covered with frosting. Luna rolled her eyes. Suddenly the Door breaks downs.

"I'M FREEEEEEEEE!!!" Luna's swepted away by the onrush of Ponies and an arm flailing Aoi.

"HELP ME!!!" Luna tries to reach back to her sister, but to no avail. The rush mob smashes through the window and down the Palace walls.

"How about some eclairs?... Luna?" Celestia Peeked over the Fridge, then shrugged at her sister's abscence, "Oh well, more for me..."

==Present==

I sweep my paw over my face to calm myself down,

"How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?" Luna opened her mouth as to object but stopped when Pinkie's tail twitched.

"INCOMING!" Pinkie shouted. everyone hid under the table, but the buzzing noise outside was driving me crazy so I opened the window, right when Princess Celestia landed on the branch right next to my window.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!" Wow I just sounded just like PewDiePie just then.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Princess Celestia screamed as well, Me falling backwards scooting away, While Celestia reeling back anf falling off the tree branch.

2 minutes later.

Back around the kitchen table, my paw on the bridge of my nose again, Luna picking leaves out of her sister's mane, Celestia with a dumb look on her face. I didn't feel like taking another depressed shower, so I just went out and said it,

"So, We dragged Luna out the Window, then What?" Celestia brushes the last leaf out of her mane before Luna could get it.  I heat up some milk and pour myself a quart.

"Well, That's the thing..." Celestia continued the tale, "I followed the mob to the Canterlot cliffs, right there under the moonlit night, you... Luna?" She shifted my focus to Luna.

"You said the most wonderful poetry..." HEKE?! 'NOT GOOD!', "and then you pulled out an engagement ring and well... proposed..." I Sprayed out my milk all over everyone, getting everypony wet.

"I DID WHAT!?" I stood up onto the chair... everypony shook and insta dried, Celestia's mane resulting in an Afro. Luna levitated the engagement ring in front of my distressing face. I took the ring in my hand, looking at the Engraving on the interior, 'To my dear-'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH!" I fell backwards onto the table, funbling over myself while trying to scurry away, I landed the wring way in the chair and knocked it over, finally ending up in a fetal position in a corner, facing away from everypony.

"THAT'S IT I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!" I started rocking back and forth, then Slowly stood up, my legs shaking... "I mean, everyone was drunk, I don't even remember doing this. I mean Please UNDERSTAND this was a HUGE misunderstanding, I mean If I WAS serious," NO DAMMIT STOP THERE! "I mean Don't get me wrong you are a beautiful young mare," MAYDAY MAYDAY! "but I could never go through with this I mean, If we were to go through with it, Not that we ARE going to do this," Oh THERE GOES THE TITANIC! "I mean what kind of LIFE would we have together, I mean think of the KIDS!" 'Dude, you suck under pressure!' SHUT THE FAHK UP BRAIN! Everyponies jaw dropped to the floor except for the Princesses, with Luna Walking up to me, "I mean not that we would ever have-" Luna kissed me full on the muzzle... I calmed down for a minute...

"This changes nothing right..."

"I know," She leaned in close to me and whispered, "That was to get you to shut up..." OH THANK GAAAAAWD! I wiped my brow and sighed... I fell backwards and fainted.

to think, I was that close to getting married to one of the Princesses of Equestria, DISASTER AVERTED!!!