FREEEEDOM!!!! Oh, fights over...

Day 15, Canterlot General Hospital

"Alright, Looks like you're both cleared for release," the doctor looked over our charts.

"FINALLY!" I raised my arms up in a win pose.

"YAY!" Voice was enthusiastic, just not the volume.

"Just one more thing, you still have to leave the hospital in a wheelchair, standard protocol." 'Well shit!' I dropped my arms back down into the bed.

After we left the Hospital I immediately sprang out of the chair. I did a couple of stretches and popped all my joints. Man that felt good. Fluttershy started to move her wings a bit, then shook off the bandages.

When we got back to Ponyville Pinkie threw a 'Welcome Back' Celebration. I seriously think she has nothing better to do than plan parties, that or she's secretly on a caffeine only diet. We ate, we snowball fought, we tobogganed, we danced, we kissed, we shmoozed, we went home happy, and then dropped like bricks back into bed. I've never had so much cake in my entire life, except that one time in Barcelona, when I just happened to be the replacement judge for the Annual Delicatassen World Cake show.

I rolled over to stare at the ceiling, with Discord laying down on the floor next to me.

"Well, that was a nice icing on the cake..." I started to feel the cake come back up, then heavily swallowed.

"Dammit, man, please let's not talk about the cake."

"Well what else do we talk about?"

"I've been thinking what I should do tomorrow to kill some time, I don't really have a job, and the rest are all taken..."

"I'd say you're gonna be pretty occupied tomorrow," I started to get suspicious.

"Why so?"

"Heads up, there's a spore cloud of jibjab coming in from the north, Two options here, leave your window open, or keep it closed." I'm scared with either option...

"Jibjab?"

"You'll see,"He dissappeared right then... then it hits me...

'Did I just get trolled?' Nothing to do now but go to sleep... Hmm, maybe I'll leave the window open... I open the window a couple of centimeters then go to sleep

Day 16, Ponyville

I wake up with snow all over the place, 'Two options... at least I'll be heavily supplied if someone decided to have an indoor snowball fight. Morning routine, breakfast, rice with an omelet, not too well done. Then bust through the door to say good morning at the top of my lungs.

"KAPURURURU (GOOOD MORNING), NANI (WHAT THE-)?" 'SON OF A BITCH!!!' I'm speaking in POROROCAN! I look around and see everything awry. I immediately head to the library... the door opens to reveal Twilight with a note,

"Speaking Gibberish?" I shake my head yes. The door closes behind me and I see every single book on the floor open.

"I-Ikopi! I I-Ikopi! I-Ikopiiiiiiiiii! (It's... It's... IT'S!...)"

"Appopo, apopoopoapoapo! (I know, I've searched Everywhere for a clue!)"

"Koroko, Kookokkokokokko! (Wait, I can Understand you!)"

"Lulurrulurulululurruluru. (You're right... this is strange...)" Someone knocks on the door.

"Poporin Pororoporinrinrin! (Oh my gawd, if it's Commodore Perry...)"

"Horoi? (Who?)"

"Nini, norinininini... (Nothing, I'll get it.)" I open the door to find the rest of the mane 6.

"Kurupu UPURRIIII! (Thinking TIME!!!)" I raise my finger into the air.

"Uiutupiri? (What's going on?)" I couldn't just let this go by.

"Kikookororo, korokintokikororo KERORO!!! (Commodore Perry has come, there's a new threat to Equestria, ALIENS HAVE COME!!!)" Everyone starts panicking...

"Zuchozucho... (Just kidding)" Trolololz. Everyone starts looking at me funny.

"Howbydowbydowry (Well how in tarnations did everyone get like this?)" Just then somepony bursts through the door.

"Yoyototoyo (I can answer that!)" It was Daring Do, explorer, tombraider, and Indiana Jones Ripoff. Rainbow Dash gasped and her eyes widened.

"DARINRIN! (DARING DO!)" I facepawed.

"Pasarasasaranarasanassau (What we've just encountered is a rare spore found only from the Northern forests)"

Daring continued to Explain,

"Karukakuarakaru... jabawaky (It's called... JibJab)" Everyone was still confused except for me, but to keep up appearances, I overly reacted,

"Makumaku... (My GAWD!)"

"Lorijijirijiri. (It blew in from the north last night...)" Daring Do pointed upwards for emphasis, Rainbow Dash was hanging onto every word.

"Warewarewaden? (How do we cure it?)" I asked.

"Luluru... (Well...) Upusupurusupusu... (for an Instant cure, I would need...) kupusuru... (Dragon spit...)" I dropped down and lay there on the floor. I'd rather live with speaking gibberish... but then again... maybe it's not so bad... maybe dragon spits just like honey, and that's BEE vomit...

"Jiko, obururtataru... (So, fragon spit...)" Spike turned around and started to go back up the stairs, but twilight grabbed him by the shoulders. I heard her whisper to Spike...

"Poponopono Popuroipopuro? (Of all the times when a cure isn't a plant, It's your spit?)" I forgot Spike was a dragon... Looks like I'll be speaking normally in no time... that is, until I smelled Spikes breath.

"ICHIRO! (SONNOVABITCH!)" I sat up with my paws covering my nostrils. The nicest way I could describe it was If I'd eaten rotten garbage, then soaked the resulting manure in wet dog perfume. Okay, maybe not the nicest way, but the nicest ACCURATE way, saying that it stunk would be a grave understatement. I headed to the nearest window and threw up. I fell backwards onto the floor. NO DAMN WAY IN HELL I'D BE DRINKING DRAGON SPIT!

"Luruku, kuirupi upi... (C'mon, there's no way it'd smell that...)" Rainbow Dash took a whiff of Spike's breath, her cheeks instantly inflated, and she hurled out the window I was just at not 15 seconds ago, and joined me on the floor.

"Apurapirapiirarapiarapu... (I came here because I needed the help of all 8 of you..." Rainbow Dash made a Full Recovery and sprinted to the spot next to Daring, "Nokinokonkonokinokinokirin (We need to get an Herb so that a dragon's breath smells remotely drinkable, but it only appears in a dragon's cave.)" Speaking gibberish for life is sounding like better Idea by the minute. Suddenly I'm grabbed off the ground and dragged out the door by Rainbow Dash. 'DAMMIT, She's strong...'

"Piriporopiripora? (Why's she dragging him?)" Daring asked Pinkie.

"cv ioaonrnopcivnoansouduvnoua ^^*a (Oh he killed a dragon before)" OMG, Pinkie sounds like an Obscene Telephone!

"Karakikankan!!! (Help! I'm being kidnapped by a rainbow tailed fanmare!)" Daring Laughed. It was unanimous, We were going to go into a Dragon's lair, take an herb, escape with that dragon herb, and do it all without waking the Dragon up, if worse comes to worse, I was the last stand guy. GREAT!

Noon, Somewhere between the Everyfree forest and Froggy Bottom Bog

'Metal Gear Solid Mode Activate, BOOP!' Everyone started to crowd around the base of the cave,

"Chochorin? (So who's first?)" I made the mistake of asking.

"Padapadpapdpadppapaa.. (We're going in together.)"  Daring Do motioned everyone to follow her. Fluttershy huddled close to me. I went from a glomp missile target to dragon baracade, great. The Cave became darker as we walked in, but then suddenly started to shimmer. I looked closely to see the cave walls embedded with hundreds of gemsones and crystals.  Spike started to drool, no wonder a dragon lives here. Then we saw the dragon itself, and the herb below it's chin, SHIT! The dragon itseld had bull horns with black scales, OKAY let's grab that shit and get the hell out of here. I started creeping up to the dragon, motioning the others to stand still, their hooves make noise, my paws don't. LOLZ for showing off. Now to make the moment even more intense, I pop in my head phones and listem to the most suspense inducing spy theme you will ever hear in your life, that and Metal Gear Solid.

I slowly dig around the herb with my hands, trying to preserve the entire plant, then start digging a small ditch right next to the plant  to move it without touching the dragon's chin... easy easy... easy... The dragon starts moving, I pause, frozen with fear... It stops again... I slowly drag the plant out from under the chin, turn around, and try to walk back to the group... Ahem... walking back to the group... their not getting any closer... I turn around to see my tail under the claw of the dragon, with the dragon staring right at me. I could've sworn I heard the MGS gameover music play in the background when I say that dragon.

"Chochompa (Easy there...)" It started to roar in my face.

"FUFURU! (FUCK THIS SHIT!)" I pull out a portal gun from hammerspace and shoot the ground where my tail was and the ceiling of the cave. OH SHIT! I fall through and land on the dragon.

"DAGOBA, GOBABA!!! (Dragon rider, BITCHES!)" Everypony facehooves. The dragon tries to buck me off by smashing it's head into the wall, I'm on it's neck... FACEPAW!

"URORO! (RUN!)" The dragon realizes and starts chasing after the others, "NOKO, OKO! (NOT YOU, ASS HOLE!)" I think it heard me, because It flung me off into the direction of the others, I shot a portal behind it and another where I was going to land. Yep...

'MAN CANNON MOTHAFAHKAAAA!!!!' The momentum shot me forward ahead of the others out of the cave, while still holding onto the plant.

General rule of the Cartoon Universe: Important Items, WHILE HELD, are impervious to the effects of momentum, no matter how delicate they are.

But another thing was going through my mind at the time...

Questions to Be Answered before I die: HOW THE FUCK CAN A PORTAL GUN EXIST IN EQUESTRIA?

*Aoi Processing cycle*

Luna got sent to the moon by Celestia, the moon is a portal surface, ergo... ah fuck I lost my train of thought. RUN LIKE A BOSS!

Back at Sugar Cube Corner, we were all surrounding the plant on the table, Staring at it like something was going to happen.

"KLAJSAJKAFBU? (So what do we do with it?)" Pinkie Pie sounds like she was talking with her mouth full of feathers. I waved a finger towards a pot, suggesting we stew it while Spike drools into the pot. I heard no objections. Being chased by a dragon really takes it out of you, Rainbow Dash was Facetabling...

After a bit we finally got the stew ready, much to the disdain to the fact that in order foreveryone to be normal again, we had to drink the stuff.

"Lolo, Lorolorruru (Well, *I made a grimace* down the hatch)" Surprisingly enough it tasted DECENT, Actually tasted more like honey.

After everyone was finished drinking we finally had one more thing to deal with... How the hell are we suppose to convice at the very least 100 ponies to drink dragon spit...