Authors note: Hey guys, guess what! This story takes place between seasons two and three, therefore it's completely canon. Just ask Lauren Faust, lololololol u can't! Also this takes place after the party. No more rainbow paragraphs, sorry.
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Dear princess Celestia,

What I learned about friendship is...

Twilight stood there for a few seconds looking at the paper, she had no idea what to possibly write to the princess. She hadn't written a friendship report in like two months now, she needed to write one! Unfortunately, she hadn't learned anything about friendship. Maybe she could just write to the princess and tell her about everything that's been going on... Would she care? Of course she wouldn't! The princess is far too busy to read something stupid like that! Maybe she could make something up.... No, that wouldn't work. Twilight is a horrible lier...

Then she realized that perhaps she had learned something. Some people just deserved to die! Yes! She could write to the princess all about her intentions to kill Paul.

No! That's a horrible idea! She would surely be very disappointed if I wrote about that.

She let out a frustrated grunt as she crumpled the paper up and threw it in the general direction of the trash can. She couldn't even think right now, not with that horrible monster sharing a home with her. She wouldn't be able to focus on anything until she rained sweet doom upon his head. Yes, now that the party was over, Paul was fair game, she could make a plan to kill him! This would, in no way, backfire on her! Surely Paul will fall to her amazing planning power!

Twilight was so overcome by her evil thoughts that she started to chuckle. This quickly evolved into an all out maniacal laugh. "Muahahahaha!"

"Umm, Twilight. Are you ok?" Asked someone from the other side of the room.

Spike was standing there awkwardly after dropping in on her acting so weird.

"Oh, um, yes. I was just... Clearing my throat... Yes... That's it."

Meanwhile in the deep never ending expanse of space, our antagonist Gorlok 12 and his lobster friends traveled in their seven lobster ships in the direction Paul had gone.

Perhaps I should explain that the ships are quite big and each one carries a crew of at least a dozen lobster men.

"Gee, i sure hope that anyone that would randomly be reading this as though our lives were some kind of deranged story hasn't forgotten about us, the main villains, out in space, slowly heading towards where Paul is at in our ships." Said Gorlok 12.

"I wouldn't exactly say slowly." Said a random nameless lobster man through the ship's speakers. "We'll be there in a few weeks at most. We're still going really fast."

"I suppose you're right, just everything seems slow nowadays." Said Gorlok 12.

His lobster man buddies were slightly confused by this. "What do you mean Gorlok buddy?" Asked one of them.

"Well Hank (I'm gonna' name some of the lobster men so it's even worse if they happen to die later), I've just been thinking about things a lot recently."

"You wanna' talk about it?" Asked Hank hopefully.

"Well, i guess just this whole fighting Paul thing. It seems kinda' stupid sometimes. I mean, he's killed me like three times now, I just keep reviving for no reason. I mean, what's up with that?"

"Well we revive you because you're the best. Don't worry, we'll beat him this time." Said Hank hopefully.

"That's what we said last time, just last time we had an army of mind controlled zombies being controlled by a giant, omnipotent, robot, spider, big mouth bass (Don't even worry about it unless you want to read that shit on my dev art >.<). And the time before that we had Kuchewaya the God of lobsters on our side, and we still lost!"

"Yeah, but we killed tons of people." Said Kyle (another lobster man) reassuringly. "That counts for something doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does. You know, you guys are right. I shouldn't let this whole 'Paul thing' get to me! We're going to kill him for sure, and you all will definitely survive the fight! You're really good friends, i don't know what I'd do without you." Said Gorlok 12 in a better mood.

"Aww shuks Gorlok, you're a pretty good friend too! And who knows, maybe you'll level up after you kill Paul. Then you'll be Gorlok 13!"

"Guys, stop the ships!" Yelled Gorlok 12. The others were somewhat confused until he let out a giggle. "We're going to have a boarding party so I can give each and every one of you a big hug!"

The crews of every ship cheered over the intercoms as they parked their ships next to each other for some hugs.

Now back at Ponyville Library

Twilight was up late planning her murder. It was going to be too easy! Paul has no known family and the few people who know who he is hate him. Maybe not Pinkie Pie, but Twilight would hide the body well enough to where Pinkie wouldn't even find out he was dead. She would just say he went out in the forest and never came back!

Even if she was sloppy with the murder, the police in Ponyville were terrible, they'd never find out what happened.

It was all just so simple. She was the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria, she could easily overpower Paul once they were finally alone. Now she just had to lure him into the Everfree forest. That would be easy, he was always going in there anyways.

The best part is, even if she got caught, she could probably just tell the princesses that he was a monster and tried to attack her or something and she wouldn't get punished at all.

Twilight rubbed her hoofs together menacingly and started to chuckle before looking around. Good, Spike wasn't in there this time. "Muahahahahahaha!" She laughed.

Now in space!

"Well that group hug was wonderful, we should do that more often." Said Gorlok 12 now feeling better.

"I'll say!" Shouted Tommy (A lobster man).

Hank and Kyle quickly agreed with him as they started to once again accelerate towards their destination.

"Sooo," Said Hank, "What are you going to do once we kill Paul?"

"Well of course I still need to pee in his skull, I wasn't kidding about that you know." Said Gorlok 12.

There was an awkward silence before Kyle asked. "Are you going to drink it afterwards?"

"What the hell? Where did that question even come from?" Asked Gorlok 12.

"Lawl, I'm joking!" Said Kyle. "Of course you're going to drink it afterwards, what's the point of peeing in someone's skull if you aren't even gonna' drink it?"

"Well duh." Replied Gorlok 12 simply.

"You should eat his skin, that would be really funny because he's always QQ'in about his skin." Said Arnold (LOBSTERMAN!).

"Hue hue, eating skin is srs business!" Said Tommy.

"I agree." Agreed Hank in an agreeable way.

"What if we pulled out all of his bones out and then tied him up with them?" Asked Kevin sheepishly, he was a shy lobster man.

"Sorry Kevin, but bones aren't very good for tying things up because they break too easily." Said Golrok 12 matter-of-factly.

"Yeah Kevin, if you're going to tie someone up you use their tendons! Everypony knows that!" Yelled Hank

"Wtf is 'everypony'?" Asked Tommy.

"Hell if I know, it just seemed appropriate to say it for some reason." Said Hank with a shrug. No one else saw this shrug because they're talking over a radio.

"I suppose you're right." Said Tommy.

"I'm always right!" Replied Hank.

"That's not true!" yelled Gorlok 12, "What about the time when you poured gasoline on your lawn thinking it would be faster and cheeper than trying to cut it with a lawn mower!"

"Well it worked, I never have to mow my lawn again!" Said Hank defensively.

"Yeah, but gasoline is lobster man food, not plant food." Replied Kevin.

"How would you know so much about plants? Are plants your boyfriend?" Asked Arnold in a mocking voice.

"No! If I was going to date every plant in existence I wouldn't choose grass!" Said Kevin.

"I suppose that makes sense." Said Kyle.

"Hey guys, I'm a new character here!" Shouted Steve Jobs.

"Shut up Steve Jobs, apples are stupid!" Yelled Hank.

"Too soon..." Said Tommy.

"Too soon!" Agreed Gorlok 12.

"I suppose you guys are right, sorry Steve Jobs." Said Hank sincerely.

"Aww shucks, Hank, you know I couldn't stay mad at you." Responded Steve Jobs.

"I'm glad you forgive me Steve, you're the only family I have ever since Toby passed away." Said Hank in a sad voice.

"Alas, Toby was a good RAD scorpion. I'm sorry for your loss Hank. He'd want you to live your life to its fullest though, not to greave for him." Said Gorlok 12.

"Yeah I know, it's just hard sometimes." Said Hank.

"Don't worry," Reassured Kyle, "We're here for you."

"Yeah, what he said." Agreed Tommy.

"Hey Steve Jobs, how is the chile coming along? I'm cold." Yelled Arnold.

"I'm cooking it on the stove right now. We're out of pans by the way." Answered Steve Jobs.

"What do you mean we're out of pans?" Asked Gorlok 12, "We had plenty of pans when we left port three weeks ago."

"Yeah, but most of the pots went bad since it's so humid in this part of space so I've had to use pans in all the food."

"Well I suppose we do need the iron, if we run out of pans we'll just have to eat cans." Said Gorlok 12 somewhat sad.

"Blarg, cans... I'd rather eat cat poop than cans..." Said Kyle.

"Well Mr. Bigglesworth needs his litter box cleaned, you can go eat cat poop if you want." Said Tommy.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea, brb guys."

"It's so gross," Said Kevin, "When he eats cat poop he smothers it in ketchup... That just ruins it..."

"Some people just have no taste." Responded Master Chief.

"Hey Chief, what are you doing here?" Asked Gorlok 12.

"Just killed some aliens and I was passing through and thought I'd say hi."

"Well hey, how is the wife doing?"

"Her head got devoured by a giant slug with crab claws." Said Master Chief.

"I'm sorry to hear about that." Said Gorlok 12.

"Don't be, it's what she wanted." Said Master Chief with a sigh, "Anyways I g2g, mom aggro."

"Cya chief." Said Kevin.

"Tell your mom to grip a glock!" Yelled Hank.

"Lol, like he's gonna do that. Besides, his mom is hot." Responded Tommy.

"Lolbye." Said Master chief before turning off his radio.

"I really really hope he tells his mom to grip a glock!!" yelled Hank.

"He loves his mom, and so do I. He would never say something so hurtful to her." Yelled Tommy.

"I can dream can't I?"

"Dream about centipedes, maybe." Snickered Arnold.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Asked Gorlok 12.

"I don't know... All I know is that you should never be a centipede."

Everyone agreed.

"K back guys!" Said Kyle.

"So how was the cat poop?" Asked Steve Jobs.

"It tasted like cat poop. We're out of ketchup by the way, had to use BBQ sauce."

"Aww eww, BBQ sauce is gross!" Complained Hank.

"You don't know that!"

"Guys, I just thought of something," yelled Kevin, "How do radios even work?"

"Well it's obvious they... umm... the sound..." Explained Arnold.

"You know I've never thought of that, how do radios work?" Asked Gorlok 12 now perplexed by whatever witchcraft was allowing them to speak to each other.

"Sound goes in, sound comes out. You can't explain that!" Said Tommy.

"guys, it could be run by angry native american spirits who will stop making it work if we keep asking these questions. Perhaps we should just forget about it." Suggested Kevin.

"I don't know, this is gonna' be on my mind every time I talk on the radio from now on." Said Arnold, now disturbed by the realization that he didn't know how the radio worked.

"Well you better damn well try to stop thinking about it!" Shouted Gorlok 12, "The last thing we want is to anger the native american spirits!"

"Yeah Arnold, if the radios stop working because of you, I'm not even gonna' give you a hug."

"You don't mean that..." Said Arnold.

"I do!" Said Kyle angrily.

"If this breaks we'll have to get on Skype and webcams just make everything awkward." Replied Tommy.

"Hey guys, the chile is done!" Yelled Steve Jobs.

"Good, beam it in shawty!" Yelled Gorlok 12

Then he used his mind powers to teleport chile into all the lobster man's laps.

"Awww, so nice and warm." Said Tommy.

"I agree, I was getting pretty chilly here, thanks for the chile." Said Kyle.

"Ahaha, I see what you did there!" Yelled Hank.

"Well gee I'd hope not, we aren't even using Skype webcams. You shouldn't be able to see me!" Replied Kyle.

"We're in the same ship, I can see you like 20 feet away from me."

"Hey guys, I was in the shower then suddenly chile all over my legs." Said Spongebob Squarepants.

"Shut up Spongebob, we aren't even under water right now." Yelled Gorlok 12.

"Yeah, gtfo sponge idiot!" Said Kyle.

For some reason Hank found this really funny, probably an inside joke.

"You know, it's going to be really sad if any of you die now that you've had so much screen time." Said Gorlok 12.

"Damn it Gorlok, stop foreshadowing!" Yelled Kyle.

"I can do what I want, and that's admiral Gorlok 12 to you!"

"Sorry mate." Said Kyle

"Lawl, not as sorry as your mom was after she gave birth to you!" Said Hank.

"Ooooooh Burn!" Yelled Tommy.

They all shared a laugh at Kyle's expense.

"That's not funny, not even a little bit." Said Kyle.

"Hey guys, I was digging around in some cabinets and I found some pills." Said Steve Jobs.

"Pills!?" Yelled Lewis.

"Yeah, I got some pills here!"

"Enough about pills, how do you guys feel about cough drops?" Asked Gorlok 12.

"Well, some of them are good some of them taste like cat poop though." Said Kyle.

"So what you're saying is that they are all good?" Asked Hank.

"Exactly." Replied Kyle.

"I don't like the orange ones." Said Tommy. "I just don't like orange in general."

"As always, Tommy, your opinion is like a freshly laid egg. Stupid." Said Arnold.

"That all depends on what kind of egg, some eggs aren't stupid." Responded Tommy.

"Orlly? Which eggs aren't stupid?" Asked Arnold.

"Robin eggs are pretty cool." Said Hank.

"Hehe, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg." Said Kyle.

"What you did there, I see all of it!" Said Arnold.

"Wait a second, what's your last name Arnold?" Asked Gorlok 12.

"Umm... Cheese.. yes... that sounds about right." Said Arnold not at all suspiciously.

"Alright, I can accept that." Said Gorlok 12 without another thought on the subject.

"Shiiiiiiiit!" Yelled Jason.

"What are you screaming about this time Jason?" Asked Hank.

"There's a snake in my boot." Said Jason nonchalantly. "It was all wiggly."

"What kind of snake?" Asked Kyle.

"The kind that shut up." Said Jason.

"Were you telling me to shut up or were you describing the snake? I honestly can't tell." Said Kyle confused

"Honestly, I have no idea what the words coming from my mouth even mean most of the time. Anyways, I'm going to go stick my head in a bucket filled with lead-based paint and then take a nap. Peace out yall." Said Jason.

"Lol I found diamonds." Said Hank.

"What are you doing now?" Asked Gorlok 12.

"Playing minecraft. I'm going to make a giant statue of treebeard."

"Are you cutting down trees to make him?"

"Of course. where else am I gonna' get wood from?"

"But Hank, some of those trees were his friends!" Said Gorlok 12.

"Aw shit son!" Yelled Hank.

"Are we there yet?" Asked Kevin.

"By Odin's beard! If you ask that again I'm going to literally rape you!" Yelled Gorlok 12.

"So how do you guys feel about Nickelback?" Asked Tommy.

"Let's just put it this way," Said Gorlok 12, "If autism could speak, it would probably just sing Nickelback songs all day."

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Lol alright, here's another chapter. Don't complain, I already typed one about Paul today. I felt like giving Gorlok 12 and pals some screen time. I also snuck Twilight in there a little bit. Basically, this is what the lobster men are doing for the next few weeks while they fly towards Paul (at Equestria).
Sorry, there are probably a lot of typos here....

lolololol