Authors note: Lawl, this chapters gonna' be all colorful and there's literally nothing you can do about it! Too bad yellow and pink are too hard to see with the white background (Sorry Fluttershy).
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Twilight Sparkle was in a good mood. Not only was she at a party, but she had found a way to humiliate Paul. She hated that raptor so she reveled in every chance to cause him discomfort. 'What did she do?' you ask. Well when he got on the mic he was extremely awkward and he didn't know what to say. He was about to hand the mic back to Pinkie when she got a deliciously evil scheme in her big adorable head. So she started yelling 'Speech! speech! speech!'. Being in a crowd of excited ponies, everypony joined in on the chant and before long everypony wanted him to give a speech.

It worked just as planned, he could hardly say two sentences without sounding awkward so of course he couldn't give a speech. Instead he just told this stupid story that he clearly made up off the top of his head. It was deliciously awkward. Everything was delicious! She would have to rub this in his face later.

Paul, on the other claw, wasn't enjoying himself very much. For one, he was at a party with a bunch of ponies that he swore wanted nothing more than to eat his skin off. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but it's better to be safe than to have no skin. The ponies seemed to be enjoying themselves though, they were all dancing like idiots and eating cupcakes. Paul couldn't help but notice that ponies are pretty bad at dancing. Maybe it had to do with the fact that they have four legs instead of two. He didn't know. Of course he shouldn't judge them, everyone is bad at dancing compared to Paul. They didn't call him Johnny Steps for nothing.

'Who's 'they'?' you ask. I don't know, stop asking questions. I'm trying to type here.

Anyways, Paul decided to go get some yummy drank since he felt uncomfortable just standing there by himself. He walked over to a table that was set up with a bunch of paper cups and several bulls of punch. Unfortunately all they had was purple drank. Purple, much like this paragraph. He poured himself a cup and hesitantly tasted it. He normally wouldn't drink anything that wasn't scalding hot greece or bacon that he had put in the blender since those are part of a balanced sex raptor diet, but the punch wasn't too bad.

At least it's not Hawaiian Punch. Thought Paul in red. He still had nightmares about that crazy little Hawaiian man... Either way, he could enjoy his punch in peace. That is, until some ponies that thought they were clever approached Paul with smug looks on their faces.

"Cool story, did your mommy help your write it?" Said a brown pegasus. The other two ponies with him thought it was hilarious.

Paul just smirked at them. "Woah there champ, let's not say anything we can't take back now."

"Awwww are you gonna' cry?" Asked the pony. Once again, the other two thought this was the funniest thing in the world.

"I lost my tear ducts long ago, so no. Besides, your insults are like big poop." Said Paul nonchalantly.

The brown pony didn't seem to like him insulting his insults. "Oh yeah? Well you're a freak! What kind of dragon doesn't even have wings?"

Paul face-clawed. He told them all he was a sex raptor yet they still seemed to think that he was some kind of dragon. "Look, kid, no need to get upset. I'm sure that someone somewhere thinks that your insults are very clever. Unfortunately, I'm not that someone so you're just making yourself look dumb. Perhaps you should go back to stupid school because from what I can tell you have no idea how to participate in a big boy argument."

The brown pony frowned at him. "Who you calling kid?"

"You. I thought I made myself pretty clear." Paul looked over to the other two ponies who were just standing by their friend and not participating in the conversation and asked. "Did I not make that clear?"

"Hey, shut the buck up or I'll put a hoof in your face myself!" Said the pony slightly angry at being insulted multiple time.

"Woah woah chief, no need to throw a tantrum. Just calm down before you make yourself looks stupider than you already have. Perhaps you should step out for a few minutes and come back when you're done crying." Said Paul with a grin.(lolol threw off the pattern)

The pony looked really angry now, he clearly wasn't used to being made fun of so it was almost too easy. Paul was starting to enjoy himself though. Now his friend, who was a white and blue unicorn, joined in. "Hey, shut up or we'll buck you up!"

Paul just chuckled to himself, he liked where this was going. "Do it filly!" Said Paul. He learned from how Twilight acted in the second chapter that calling ponies a filly was considered insulting.

As soon as Paul said this the brown pony snapped, he wasn't about to let some freak dragon talk to him like that. He didn't look so tuff anyways, so he charged at Paul suddenly intending to hit him with a hoof before he was prepared. Unfortunately for him, he forgot one thing. Paul is always prepared. Within a split second Paul swung his arm around and slapped the brown pony right upside the face.

The blow was enough of a shock to the pony that he stopped in his tracks confused at what happened. before he could think, though, he received another slap on the other side of his face. He just stood there for a few seconds with big red marks on either side of his face where he had been slapped before he started tearing up. He then turned around and ran off into the crowd crying. Several ponies in the surrounding crowd looked around to see what happened while the brown pony's friends glared at Paul.

"You're a real jerk you know that!" Shouted the white unicorn before him and the other pony (who isn't important at all) chased after their friend to comfort him. It was obviously intended as an insult but Paul just smiled at it. These ponies were pretty bad, first their insults were terrible, then they didn't know how to fight at all? This place is way too sheltered.

He finished his purple drank and looked back at the crowd. Perhaps he should show them how real dancing is done. Then he got an even better idea. This was probably the best idea he'd gotten in days. He pulled his ipod from his chest cavity and waded through the crowd back to the stage where the DJ pony was at. As of now, they had just been playing some kind of techno the whole party, which the ponies seemed to enjoy. But Paul had something much better. he went to the DJ and asked if he could play a song.

The DJ pony face-hoofed and looked at Paul like he was an idiot. "Dude, I'm the DJ for a reason, i can't just let every thing that walks on stage play whatever they want."

"Hey, technically this party was thrown for me, besides it's only one song." Said Paul with his iron-clad logic.

The DJ sighed and just motioned for him to go ahead. Paul was ecstatic now, this was perfect. He plugged his ipod into the DJ table (luckily it had a USB drive) and scrolled to the right song. He hadn't gotten an opportunity to do this in way too long.

Then he found it and the music started playing over the speakers.

All the ponies stopped when the music changed so suddenly and looked slightly confused. Paul on the other hand could barely contain his giggles. This was the best thing ever!

Then Rick Astley started singing.

We're no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do I

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Then everything got even better as Paul suddenly got an achievement!

Yes, this was the best night ever!!! Then Paul looked around and realized that the ponies seemed to enjoy it instead of being annoyed. Paul was slightly disappoint that they weren't angry, but at least he had gotten an achievement out of it. He was a big huge achievement whore after all.

After retrieving his ipod Paul wandered around town for a little while looking for something else to entertain him. Then he spotted some of Purple guy's (if you haven't figured it out yet, that's his name for Twilight) friends in the crowd. It was that orange one with the cowboy hat and the boy one with the rainbow hair. He wasn't sure, but he thought that that one might be Twilight's boyfriend. So, seeing as though he had nothing else to do, he went up to them to start a conversation or something.

As soon as Rainbow Dash spotted him she let out a long sigh. "Oh great, look who it is..." She said not very pleased with their new company.

"Hey, ugh... Rainbow guy? Wasn't it?" At least he got it half right.

"THAT'S RAINBOW DASH TO YOU!" She said slightly flustered at being called a guy, only Twilight was allowed to do that.

"Woah now, calm your balls bro. I'm sorry." Said Paul putting his hands up for emphasis.

Him apologizing like this didn't help much since he implied that she had balls and was, therefore, a stallion. "Listen here, Pinkie may like you enough to throw you a party, but I don't so why don't you just leave?"

"Come now, Rainbow." At least he knew that part of the name was correct, "It's a party, lighten up."

Applejack didn't look too happy about the annoying raptor insulting Rainbow so she joined in. "Yeah, why don't you just get lost before I hog tie you and drag you out of here myself."

Even Applejack didn't like him? "Et tu Applejack?" Aha! he had gotten one of the ponies names right!

"Ugh... What?" Asked Applejack confused at what he just said.

These ponies clearly didn't know about Julius Caesar. Paul decided that if he wanted them to stop telling him to leave he would have to change the subject. He knew exactly what to say as well. "You know, I've been at this party for at least an hour and I have to ask, are all ponies bad at dancing?" From what he could tell they seemed competitive so they would likely take that as a challenge.

"What do you mean 'are all ponies bad at dancing'?" Asked Rainbow Dash. "Do you even know who you're talking to?" She finished by putting a hoof on her chest proudly.

"Well I know that you have 'Rainbow' as part of your name, but I assume by that you mean that you're good at dancing."

"I'm only like THE BEST dancer in Equestria!" Bragged Rainbow Dash.

"Well I suppose after today you'll be like the second best dancer in Equestria."

"Oh yeah!?" Asked Rainbow Dash seeing this as a challenge.

"Yeah!" Replied Paul just as cockily (hehe) as if he were Rainbow Dash himself. Now it was on!

Rainbow Dash then flew up a few feet and did some spinning thing in the air. Paul was hardly impressed. He followed up with a perfect moonwalk. Few people knew this, but he taught Michael jackson everything he knew about dancing. Rainbow just shrugged before doing the wave with her shoulders.

"Impressive, for a fish." Said Paul before pulling an MC hammer and shimmying back and forth like a pro. Rainbow wasn't gonna' go down that easy though. She landed and started doing some pony version of breakdancing. Paul had this in the bag now, he had a black belt in every type of breakdancing. This would be e z.

Rainbow finished off with a head spin which would have been impressive to anyone except Paul. He followed it up with the most amazing display of breakdancing ever seen by mortal eyes. After a few spectacular moves he finished by spinning on his head, much like Rainbow had, just for longer. Much longer. After a few minutes he finally stopped spinning and looked around.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack were nowhere to be seen. They must have ditched him while he was doing his head spin. "Ouch... That feels man..." Said Paul to himself after being abandoned. At least he won the match, he could rub that in Rainbow Dash's face later. And not in a sexual way you sick freak!

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Alright, so lots of colors... I warned you. Hopefully it's not too hard to read.