Authors note: I really have nothing to say here.
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As usual, Paul was extremely bored. Pinkie Pie's party had lasted all through the night and into the morning but now most of the ponies were heading home. He had enjoyed the party at least a little bit. After Rainbro and Applejack ditched him he pretty much just walked around and annoyed ponies. Nothing interesting happened though, and now that it was over he found himself with nothing to do.

He didn't feel like reading because all of the books that Twilight had were boring. Most of them were about magic and stuff and Paul just found the subject very dull. Also, most of the pony stories lacked massive bloodshed and stupid internet references.

Twilight was asleep at this point, at least he assumed she was. She went to her room a while ago and Spike fell asleep on the couch. Perhaps he needed a hobby while he was here. Genetic breeding was out because he didn't have any of his lab equipment. Perhaps the same could go for making WMD's. What else could one possibly do in their spare time? Perhaps he could build something else...

Paul thought about this quite a bit and he realized that building something sounded pretty entertaining. Then he realized something really obvious. He has no money or supplies to build anything.

Perhaps he should get a job...

Yes! Paul now knew exactly what this chapter- er... This day was going to be about...

He got up, straitened his tie and combed his head scales. "Lookin' good." Paul made a pointing gesture at himself in the mirror. He was sure to get a job on charisma alone. Now, where could he possibly work?

Whatever, this would surely be answered if he just wandered around Ponyville for a while. Most of his questions seem to answer themselves if he just walks around for long enough. So he did just that.

Paul left the library and strut down the street with all the swag of a thing that has a lot of swag. The few ponies still outside took notice of him walking around like he owned the place, the rest were asleep inside after a long night of partying. The first place he found that had a 'help wanted' sign outside was a small office building looking place. Paul walked in with all his swag and found a small receptionist desk with a bored looking gray pony sitting behind it. Paul honestly couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, all the ponies looked the same to him.

"Can I help you?" It asked, clearly not excited about seeing the dragon-thing in the building.

"No, but perhaps I can help you. You see, I'm looking for a job." Said Paul elegantly.

The gray pony just stared at him for a few seconds before sighing. "We're looking for ponies." It stated bluntly.

Paul was slightly put off by this. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you aren't going to get a job here so get lost." Came another voice from across the room.

Paul turned to see that a blue pony with a tie on had walked in. "Ok, so let me get this straight. You won't hire me because I'm not a pony?"

"Yes, now get out, you're scaring away business."

Paul looked around and saw that there weren't even any other ponies there. "Oh I see, so you ponies are racist. I had my suspicions by the way some of you have been acting. You know, usually when I meet racists I break their knees." Said Paul casually.

"Is that a threat?" Said the blue pony who was trying not to look scared.

"Perhaps it is."

"Get out! I'm not hiring you! Especially not after you threatened me!" Yelled the blue pony.

"Alright." Said Paul with a shrug, "But you will regret this in time." As he said this he walked out of the door leaving them to think about his comment. Once he was far enough away he pulled a notepad from his chest cavity and added something to his list of things that he needed to do.

Talk to Celestia

Annoy Twilight

Learn necromancy

Find a hobby

Get a job

Burn down that office-looking building

"There." Said Paul as he deposited the list back into his chest cavity. He sure had a lot of things to do. He walked around a little more until he came across a big building that looked like the town hall. Perhaps they would be hiring in there.

He walked inside and was once again greeted by a bored looking secretary at a desk. This one was yellow with dark blue hair. "Can I help you?" It asked. Paul could only assume that it was a girl.

"Umm, yes. I'm new in town and I'm looking for a job. Are you perhaps hiring here?"

The pony looked him over then replied. "Like you could handle what we do here... Anyways, if you're looking for a job there are several help wanted papers posted outside on the bulletin board." Said the pony while rolling its eyes at Paul.

"Alright." Said Paul slightly put off by how rude all these ponies were. He was used to it, but he had assumed that they would be really nice since they were all colorful and sheltered. Paul had learned the magic of colors so he wondered why they would be mean to him. Then it became painfully obvious, he wasn't a pony.

"Is every pony racist?" Paul asked himself as he exited the building and walked up to a bulletin board that was next to the door.

Sure enough there were at least a dozen 'help wanted' posters on it. Alright, first one was a plumber. Paul grimaced at the idea of being a plumber again. He had spent enough time with the Mario bros to know what that entailed. Needless to say, he saw a lot of 'bowsers' in toilets while working that job. It wasn't pretty.

Next one was for the local apple farm. Apparently they needed someone, or how they would say 'somepony', to help. Perhaps that could work, he could do physical labor. There was another pamphlet for a job as a welder at some metal shop. He'd try there first. All the other jobs seemed stupid so he didn't even bother to try for them.

According to the pamphlet the metal shop was only a few blocks away so it didn't take long to get there. It was a pretty small place and he immediately spotted two ponies using welding torches to make what looked like a chariot. Pony technology confused him, they had welding torches and clocks, but no guns. What's the point of making things if they couldn't kill other things?

Paul walked up to a black unicorn with a dark green mane and cleared his throat to get the pony's attention. It worked and the pony turned around pulling up his welding mask to look at Paul. "What do you want?" He asked in a gruff voice. It was definitely a he, the voice was too deep to be a girl pony. Then again, maybe that's normal for girl ponies. Oh well, he'd think this over later.

"I saw that you were looking for employees so I came to apply for the job."

The pony made an annoyed grunting noise. "The poster said we were looking for a 'pony', not whatever the hell you are. Besides, I found an employee already." He said while pointing at the other pony currently working on the chariot.

"Fine." Said Paul dismissively. He could excuse the small amount of racism, he just didn't care.

He started walking across town towards the apple farm when he realized that he was pretty hungry. Where would he possibly get food from though? Then he saw Pinkie Pie hopping around. Before long she spotted him and came over as enthusiastically as ever.

"Hiya Paul!"

"Hey Pinkie." Perhaps he could ninja some food from her. "Do you know where I can get food around here?"

She gasped with excitement when he said that. "Of course I do silly! Sugarcube corner is right over there!" She said waving a hoof at a building that looked like it was made of gingerbread. Paul hoped it wasn't actually made of gingerbread, that would be gross, especially when it rained. She ran in the front door and Paul followed her through the building into a kitchen.

"This is where we make all the yummy food. Ooo oo! You could help me cook something! It will be so super fun!"

Paul wasn't too put off by the idea. Cooking is easy, he could do this. "Alright, what are we gonna' make?" Asked Paul.

"Well cupcakes of course!" Said Pinkie while she pulled a bunch of things out of random shelves. Before long there was a small mountain of ingredients and utensils that they would need to cook.

Cue cooking montage music.

They started by mixing the ingredients into a big bowl. Paul was slightly surprised that they used eggs since the ponies were vegetarians, but he wasn't going to make a big deal about it.

Then Pinkie started juggling eggs randomly, he couldn't explain that. She finished when they all smashed on the ceiling. They both had a good laugh at this.

Then they were suddenly putting the cupcake mix into a specially shaped pan. Paul briefly wondered why things were skipping around like this when he realized that he was probably just in a montage so he didn't have to worry about it.

Next thing he knew they were stuffing the pan into the oven. Normally it would take a lot of time to cook cupcakes, fortunately they were skipping all the boring parts. The cupcakes were gonna' be in there for like an hour.

Soon Paul found himself in a flour sack fight with Pinkie. He didn't know how this happened, but it would take ages to clean the flour off of everything.

Then it was all cleaned and Paul wiped the sweat off his face with a claw. Thank the economy this was a montage, he didn't even remember having to clean up all that flour nor did he care to. Then the oven beeped and Pinkie jumped up excitedly. They removed the cupcake bottoms from the oven and started putting frosting all over them.

Paul was smothering one in bright pink frosting when suddenly Pinkie Pie extended her tongue at least four feet out from the other side of the counter and wrapped up his cupcake like a snake wraps up a mouse. She quickly pulled it into her mouth and swallowed it. Paul just stared at her with his mouth hanging slightly open while his eye twitched involuntarily. He had once watched a giant centipede devour some guy's head and this was still one of the most disturbing things he had ever witnessed.

Then they were suddenly done with the cupcakes and Paul was munching on one. That was easy. He grabbed another cupcake off the table to keep it from Pinkie while she vacuumed everything edible within the area into her mouth.

He had no idea how she was able to eat so many cupcakes, but he didn't care enough to ask.

"That was super fun!" Cheered Pinkie Pie in her usual way. Then she let out a huge gasp of excitement. "Ooo maybe you can work here!"

Then Mrs. Cake walked into the room with an angry look on her face. She had clearly overheard Pinkie's comment and she didn't look very happy about the idea. It was bad enough that there was that monster in her kitchen, but she sure wasn't going to allow it to come in there every day. She picked up a broom from the corner in her mouth and started swinging it at Paul. "Get the hay outa' my store!" She yelled through the broom in her mouth. Paul got the idea and ran out of the door to avoid the sharp bristles. Once he was outside she spat out the broom and yelled. "And stay out!"

Paul ran for a short while until he realized that the angry pony wasn't still chasing him. "Shewf." Said Paul as he wiped some sweet off his forehead with a claw. "That was close, I hate brooms." Unfortunately, there went another opportunity to get a job. Now pretty much the only other place he had to try was the apple farm.

He looked around a bit to see where he was and saw some apple trees on a hill off in the distance. Looks like he was going there now.

It was a short walk to where the apple trees were and from there he spotted a farm house where he was sure the owners of the land would be. Then he spotted an orange pony out in a field of trees to his right and immediately recognized it as Applejack. Looks like she worked here, that explains why she got a bunch of apples tattooed on her.

Instead of walking towards the farmhouse he instead approached Applejack, perhaps she could be of some help. They were pretty good friends after all. Paul got close and noticed that she was kicking trees to knock the apples out. It seemed like a stupid way of getting apples from trees to Paul, but he wasn't about to say that to her now.

"Hey there Applejack!" Said Paul once he got close.

Applejack turned towards him and sighed. Great, it was the last raptor she wanted to see right now. "What do ya' want?"

"Huh, i didn't know you worked here. Must be hard work." Said Paul. Perhaps he could get her to help him get a job if he sucked up a bit.

"The first thing I told ya' when we met was that me and my family own this place." Said Applejack, she was obviosuly frustrated that he had forgotten.

She owned this place? Well then, it looks like trying to get on her good side is a good idea, though he wasn't doing a very good job of it so far. "Oh sorry, I must have forgotten, my memory isn't what it used to be." Lied Paul. He actually had a very good memory, just he didn't listen to most of what the ponies said because he didn't find it important. "This is quite the place you got here."

"Ok, why are you here?" She asked.

"Why Applejack, what do you mean? I was just looking around and I saw you here. Seeing that we are good friends I thought I'd come by and say hi." Always with the lying.

"You're being way too polite, you're never this polite. So you clearly have an ulterior reason for being here than to say 'hi' to me."

"Alright, yeah I saw your help wanted poster and I came by hoping to get a job here."

"No. Now if you would kindly leave my land."

"What? you aren't even gonna' consider it? Come on, I'm a good worker, and I thought we were friend!"

"We aint friends! You're rude and I don't hang out with rude ponies, or raptor-things. Now go before I buck you out of here myself!"

"Come on Applejack, I've already tried a bunch of places and none of them would hire me because I'm not a pony. Besides, how am I supposed to help Twilight pay rent if I don't have a job?" He lied about paying Twilight rent, he had no intention of doing that. It did make his intentions look good though.

Applejack was about to refuse again when she thought about it. She would be helping out Twilight by giving that lizard a job, and she would be keeping him out of her hair. She could also pay him less than minimum wage since he wasn't a legal resident of Equestria. "Fine, but only because I don't want you mooching off Twilight... And because no other ponies will take this job..." She whispered the last part to herself but Paul heard her just fine with his ultra-sex-raptor-hearing. "Alright, I'll pay you six bits an hour."

Paul laughed, he read enough of Twilight's books to know that that was a horrible amount of money. "Make it twelve bits an hour and we have a deal."

"Six bits!" She yelled.

"Twelve or you can finish all these trees by herself!"

Darn it, he had her there. She NEEDED a worker, but she would be darned if she let him win this argument. "Eight is the highest I'm willing to go."

"I'm willing to compromise at eleven." Said Paul smugly.

She grit her teeth. He was almost as stubborn as she normally was. She would normally argue this with him all day, but in this case she really needed some help. "Fine, ten bits..." She finally decided.

"Good enough." Said Paul with a shrug. It was still not a lot of money, but it was enough for him. It's not like he was actually going to give any or it to Twilight, and she bought plenty of food. "So when can i start?"

"Well if you're so eager to work, you can carry the baskets of apples I'm filling to the barn for me."

Paul spent the rest of the day carrying baskets of apples around for Applejack. They were heavy, but he was pretty strong so it was no problem. They only finished up when the sun started to go down and Paul was able to go back to the library. He had to come back early the next morning for work so he decided to go get a good nights sleep... NOT!

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Alright, here's this chapter, not much happened. Paul realized that the ponies are pretty racist against non-ponies.
Have fun. I know it's not really racism if he's not even a pony, but I'll just leave it as it is.