"Poop weasels!" Exclaimed Steve.

"No! This is no time for poop weasels, it's time for a party!" I replied as calmly as possible to let him know I wasn't mad that he had such ridiculous ideas.

"And why not? Huh? Give me one good reason why your so called 'party' is better than my suggestion."

"It was less of a suggestion and more of a statement." Hopefully he'll see logic.

"Overruled!"

"No! You're overruled!!" I yelled.

"Hey man, this is cool court, not fool court."

"You know Steve, one day you're going to be getting disemboweled by a horrible creature, likely some breed of pony with tentacles, and you're going to look up and ask me to save you, and I'm going to whisper back 'no'."

"Filthy meat puppet, I do not require your aid in any matter. I am Steve! Fear me!"

"Foolish robotic undead fish beast, I have judged you and found you lacking in vital goo. Such delicious vital gooooooo."

"Your vital goo is mere confusion to me."

I didn't respond to that, instead I just looked at him for a few seconds to let him know I wasn't continuing that conversation. Most of our conversations devolve to the point where they hardly even make any sense, not that I care about that. I just have important things to do right now. Like, for example, have a party. "This is going to be the best party ever, and nothing you say or do will ever change that."

"We'll see about that..." Said Steve while rubbing his fore hooves together. "We'll see...." Then he turned around and disappeared in a flash of rainbows. One of these days that fish robot is gonna' accidently blow himself up, I swear... Anyways, now it's party time!

Celestia was pretty upset. Wait, scratch that, she was in a rage at the moment. Her normally colorful mane lost it's usual sheen and was instead a mixture of fiery orange and red as she paced back and forth in her room. Not even the guards dared to confront her right now lest they face her wrath. The last thing they wanted was for her to release the power of the sun (not sunny delight). She had good reason to be mad though, lots of things were going bad recently.

She had just gotten a letter from the gryphon's unofficial leader that morning stating that they were stopping all trade with the ponies and that they were contemplating war. Apparently they had traced the omega spider back to her and they were pretty mad about it. "Stupid birds, who do they think they are? Threatening me?! The only reason I let them live on my planet is because they do cheap labor and trade with my ponies. I'll see their cities turned to ashes for this sacrilege!" She yelled to no one in particular.

Not that the gryphons were particularly threatening to Celestia. They lacked magic, resources, and numbers. The pony population easily outnumbers them three to one. No doubt not trading with ponies would hurt them just as much if not more than it would hurt Equestria. Celestia was just mad that they would dare go against her. "Just because I lost my spider they think I'm weak?! I'll show them a new definition of 'pain'!"

Then again, the letter wasn't all that had her upset. She was even more angry about her army's recent failure. Captain OC pony had come in himself and explained how the attack went sour. They were on the verge of victory and were driving the enemy army back into the forest, but then something else came out and attacked them. From the captain's description she could only guess that the things were helicopters. Though she'd never seen one that worked, she spent years researching any spider technology she could find. That is what all Equestrian technology is based on, after all. Although the things didn't pursue, they killed over 150 ponies in the brief engagement.

The problem is she had no idea where they could have possibly gotten such devices from, just about every piece of spider technology is either destroyed or hidden away in facilities underground. The princess had only stumbled upon a few of these in her long life and each yielded wonders of machinery far beyond her comprehension, some of which she was able to reverse engineer. Unfortunately, she feared she would never be able to reproduce something as complicated as the robots and computers she'd seen as even her top scientists were baffled as to how they worked. Unfortunately the facilities were somehow hidden from her magic so she couldn't simply detect them.

She decided that the creatures most likely stumbled upon one of them and that's where they got the helicopters from. It still raises other questions though. From what her soldiers and scouts had said, the creatures seemed pretty stupid. How did they figure out how to get into a vault and pilot spider machinery? She decided that they probably have some kind of leader controlling their ranks.

Celestia smiled to herself, perhaps they could simply assassinate the leader and be done with this whole mess. She would fly out and do it herself, but she wanted to wait till the scouts identified this threat. She hasn't ruled for over a thousand years by being careless. Now that she knew all she could do was wait, Celestia sat down on the couch and started to relax. She grabbed the remote with her magic and flipped on the TV.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! Spon-. I hope you left enough room for my hoof because I'm going to ram it into your stoma-. I love the smell of napalm in the morning, it smells like... vict-" Celestia started flipping through the channels to find something interesting to watch to keep her mind off of all the stuff that's been going on. "All the channels and still nothing to watch..." She grumbled to herself.

After flipping through at least a hundred channels she finally stopped on what she thought was some kind of news report. She always prided herself on staying up to date on the news. On the screen were a pair of ponies behind a table and looking at the camera.

"You now join us live at this recently built castle where the host is throwing a party that is looking to be one of the best of all time." Behind her was a large gray and black brick castle that was now decorated in various spot lights and such. "Already some very important figures have shown up for this party." As she said this the camera panned around and showed a long line of hundreds of ponies. In the front was a huge monstrous biped with withered gray skin wearing sunglasses and a tight black T-shirt that said security. It was holding a clip board and letting certain ponies in who seemed important while the 'less important' ponies had to wait in line.

Celestia watched as Fancy Pants walked into the party followed by none other than Angel Lionheart, the most important pony in existence. Right behind them was Prince Blue Blood who was accompanied by several 'fanmares' who squealed in delight as they followed close by him. "What!" Yelled Celestia at her TV. "Why is Blue Blood at some strange party at a castle?" She was really just more upset that she hadn't been invited. Next, a big iron chariot pulled up and several diamond dogs stepped out. Celestia was able to recognize one of them as the king of one of the larger dog warrens, Grimlock. He was followed by T-bone, probably the most famous diamond dog celebrity there is. He was clearly distinguishable by his leather jacket, greeced back hair, sunglasses, and the huge diamond necklace that hung around his neck, not to mention his usual swagger that he showed while walking.

Accompanying him were several bitched, literally. Grimlock walked up to the security monster who simply stared back at him. "Me Grimlock, king!" Yelled the diamond dog. The monster quickly went over the list which seemed to annoy the diamond dog, before he nodded and opened the red velvet rope for them to enter. Now Celestia was interested, surely this must be one cool pony to build a castle and then throw a party with so many cool attendees.

"Wait a second, what's that?!" Asked one of the reporter ponies. The camera instantly turned to look at something else coming out of the trees. Once it was in the light it was clearly recognizable as a manticore. Of course, the thing that interested Celestia more was what was riding on the manticore's back. It was Paul! He was wearing shades and a fancy golden helmet, but she easily recognized him. "Finally, the host of the party has arrived!"

Celestia sat there with her eye twitching for a few seconds. It took her a while to contemplate how mad she actually was. "He breaks a bunch of my laws, escapes from my castle, then comes back just to throw a party?! AND HE DOESN'T EVEN INVITE ME?!?!?" Then she recognized the castle in the background, it's the ones her scouts had taken pictures of, although more finished and more decorated. The very same one that the strange creatures had built. She finally realized that Paul was the one leading the things that killed so many of her guards. She scowled at the TV before throwing the remote through the screen. "His life will set with the sun!"

She bolted off of the couch and over to her desk where she began writing letters to the leaders of the zebras, donkeys, minotaurs, and even the diamond dogs. She'd write one to the crystal ponies too, but they don't exist until season 3. She simply said that her kingdom has been attacked by a potentially powerful enemy and she needs reinforcements to help. She went on to describe Paul as a criminal and she even mentioned how he killed Zecora, thinking that might gain her favor with the zebras. No doubt they would send help after hearing that one of their own was murdered by the enemy. The donkeys would likely help too, and maybe the minotaurs would, but she doubted the diamond dogs would. The diamond dogs and the ponies had always had a, wait for it, rocky relationship! Hehehehehehe.

No matter, she had the utmost confidence that she could crush Paul and his forces with little problem. She wanted nothing more than to slap that dumb smile right off his stupid face.

I rode in to the chariot loading area on Sprinkles' back feeling pretty cool. I mean, who else do you know that rides around on manticores? I named the manticore Sprinkles by the way, I thought it fit. Anyways, I was wearing my cool sunglasses and a golden helmet I found in the dragon's treasure. It had some nice rubies in it, and even though it was made to fit pony heads, that's nothing a hammer can't fix. As I approached I heard the news ponies announcing my arrival and I promptly hopped down off of my mount.

As I walked past, all the ponies in line cheered at my arrival. I simply walked up to Stephen, who was the bouncer, and we exchanged a fist bump before he let me in. The doorway to the castle led to a huge open room that was now decorated with fancy rugs, tapestries, and a disco ball. I may have used most of my share of the treasure to pimp out the castle, but it was worth it. Now the place was nicely decorated. off to the side were several rooms with large VIP booths where most of the important ponies were hanging out. I had hired the DJ from Pinky Pie's party to play some phat beats. As she laid down a new track I went to the dance floor and prepared to blow everyone away.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist linking this... +1000 Ethesto points if you played Jet Force Gemini on N64)

After promptly out dancing everyone I decided to retreat to one of the VIP booths and maybe get a drink. I didn't expect to see Pinkie Pie though. "Yo Paul, what's up?!" She waved a hoof at me.

"Oh hey Pinkie, it's been a while. I didn't think you were gonna' show up."

"I never miss a party." She replied with a straight face.

"Fair enough, wanna' hang out in my VIP booth?" Perhaps with her company I won't be super bored. Without waiting for a reply I walked past her. The second she was out of my line of sight my sex raptor senses started tingling. Knowing better than to ignore those, I whirled around to see Pinkie Pie lunging at me with a knife. "Oh shit!" I yelled and barely managed to grab her hoof by the... wrist? Unfortunately, her momentum was still enough to tackle me to the ground and she now held the knife a few inches from my neck. She seemed unnaturally strong for some reason and I was having trouble holding her hoof back.

"Et tu Pinkie Pie?" I managed to croak out through the strain of trying to push her off of me.

"Twilight will be pleased when I tell her how much you struggled!" Ok, well, Pinkie is being a bitch. After holding the knife off for a short time I finally pulled my legs up and kicked her off with all my strength. The result is that she was launched across the room and through a window. I quickly got up and ran to look outside, but she was no where to be seen.

"Freakin' crazy ponies..." I muttered. I was slightly hurt that Pinkie Pie of all ponies would betray me, but I quickly suppressed my feelings just like I've been doing for years.

The crowd stopped whatever they were doing to look at me and then the broken window before deciding that it wasn't important and ignoring it. The party went on for a while and it didn't take long till the ponies were all drunk off their balls. It turns out ponies can't take very much alcohol. Sadly, I couldn't get drunk easily because my liver is just too damn good. I'd have to drink like a gallon of vodka for anything to happen, and that's just gross.

After several hours Steve came in followed by a horrible sludge monster that he clearly hoped would ruin the party. Everyone just cheered though and the sludge monster showed off his cool dance moves. Not quite as cool as mine though...

"Lol, gg noob." I said to him as I approached.

"Stupid sludge monsters these days... You expect them to kill stuff, then they go and do this?!"

"I know what you mean, I watched the blob. That thing killed everyone!"

Then we saw Dance Blaster walk up. He looked slight drunk. "Hey guys!"

"Yo Dance Blaster!" I said before thinking about his name some more. "Wait a second, if you're Dance Blaster, does that mean that you're good at dancing?"

Dance Blaster just glared at me. "No..."

"Oh, never mind..." I felt pretty awkward after asking that. At least aside from Steve, all the other guests seemed to be having a good time. They were partying like it's 1999! Then again, maybe it is. I have no idea how pony years work.

--------------------

Sorry, Ethesto points are worthless. Unless you think that my admiration is worth anything in which case I'm deeply honored.

Yeah, I haven't been very motivated to type lately which is why this took so long. I didn't really feel like typing all about the party so I just left it short.

There, you got to come to the party too Angel Lionheart....