Hey guys, here's another chapter. I know you're all super excitement about it, I sure am.
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Several hours had passed and Twilight was finally ale to relax. After setting up Paul's bed she pretty much locked herself in her room to avoid any further conversations with that horrible raptor. At least they were being quiet wherever they were. Then it occurred to Twilight that she hadn't heard Spike or Paul in a long time. Whatever, they probably went out somewhere, she didn't even care at this point. She was reading a book about war tactics, and although it was interesting, she decided it probably wouldn't help her with what she was planning. She levitated it over to the desk and set it down before heading into the main part of the library to pick out another book.

She still didn't see any sign of Paul or Spike which confirmed that they must have gone somewhere. She just sighed before grabbing the book she knew she wanted off the shelf with her magic. 'A Guide to Monster Slaying' might be helpful even though there wasn't anything in it about sex raptors. She carried the book back to her room and opened it to the first page. After a few seconds she became confused, this wasn't right.

She flipped the book closed again and saw what the problem was. This was 'Baking for Dumb Unicorns', not what she wanted. Now she was very confused, she had grabbed the book from exactly where she knew it should have been at. She had been living in that library for long enough to have pretty much memorized where all the books are.

Now she had a mystery to solve and she would get to the bottom of it. Twilight hurried down the stairs with the book in tow and examined where she got it from on the book shelf.

"No..." Gasped Twilight before going on to the next bookshelf. "No No NO!" She checked bookshelf after bookshelf but it was all the same, the books were all out of place. "No... It's not fair... It's not fair! Who would perform such an atrocity?!" She knew exactly who, it was that damn raptor. He had ruined her perfectly organized library! He was just asking for it now. "By the power vested in me by the country of Equestria I swear on Celestia's legs that I WILL REND HIS MOTHER BUCKING SKIN FROM HIS STUPID HEAD!"

As Twilight screamed this she heard a noise from behind her. Turning to look she saw a pony standing in the doorway awkwardly.

"Ummm, I'll just be going... This looks like a bad time..." Said Bon Bon in her original voice.

Twilight just sat there awkwardly as Bon Bon left. That sure was embarrassing...

All the more reason to kill Paul. Unfortunately she couldn't think about that right now. She had a library to reorganize. She was much too OCD to just leave it the way it was. She started by pulling all the books off the shelves and stacking them neatly with her magic. Simple enough, now she had to put them all back in the right places though. As she started she noticed a piece of paper sitting on the table, probably a note from Spike saying where they were going. So she did the most sensible thing you could possibly do at that moment and she read it.

Dear Twalit,

I noticed that the library was a real mess, it looked like it hadn't been organized in years. So I decided to help out and reorganize all the books for you. No need to thank me, just doing my job as your new roommate. Also we're out of milk, you're gonna' want to go pick some of that up from the store next time you're out. I'd do it but I have no money. Oh, who am I kidding? I don't care about milk. Anyways, Spike and I went outside somewhere.

Sincerely, your loving roommate Paul

PS: Can you point your fingers and do the twist?

Yep, looks like she was correct, this was all Paul's fault.

Meanwhile, somewhere outside!

"So I say to him, if you're going to serve me oil, at least do a background check to make sure it wasn't one of my dinosaur friends!" Said Paul, thus finishing his anecdote.

Spike thought all of these stories were amazing, he wished he could go on all kinds of crazy adventures like him. Oh well, in the mean time Spike had convinced Paul to go out to a quarry and dig for gems with him. Seeing as though he was a dragon, at least Spike thought he was, he must like eating gems. He knew it was dangerous here, there was a pack of diamond dogs that lived nearby, but with Paul around nothing could possibly go wrong.

"Hey! i found one!" Said Paul excitedly. He had just unearthed a small rectangular sapphire. Paul honestly didn't think he would find one that easily, usually gems like that are precious and rare but supposedly they are quite common here.

They continued digging for a little over an hour and by that point they had a few handfuls of gems. Or should I say 'clawfuls'? Then they felt some vibrations from under the ground and Paul's raptor senses started to tingle.

After a few seconds they saw what was making the rumbling as it emerged from the ground. It was actually a bunch of stupid looking dog things that came out of holes. Unlike normal dogs, however, they stood up on their back legs and were carrying various crudely made weapons. Mostly just sticks with sharpened rocks on the end, but good enough.

Then the biggest dog that they could only assume to be the leader spoke. "Give us your shinies lizards!" It sounded like you would imagine a dog thing to sound like if dog things could talk. At least they weren't talking cats, cats sound ridiculous when they talk.

"Let me get this straight, YOU want to take OUR gems?" Asked Paul.

"Yes! Give them to use now lizard!" Yelled the diamond dog once again.

"Or what?" Paul smiled, he knew exactly where this was going. He wasn't scared at all of these dog things, like they could ever kill him. Spike, on the other claw (;P), had backed up against Paul's leg, clearly afraid of the dogs.

"Or we will take them from you!" Cried the diamond dog as though it was obvious.

Paul smirked even harder, Aha! They had fallen right into his trap! It was so carefully laid out, they would never see it coming. They were in for it now. "Can't let you do that Starfox!" YES! He got them soooo good. That was a classic and he set it up perfectly!

“We are not fox we are diamond dogs! Now give us gems puny lizards!!!!”

Paul was dissapoint to say the least, he had set that up so well and none of them even got it. Oh well, now these dogs wanted a fight so he would give one to them. Paul just pointed at the biggest diamond dog who was clearly their leader and made a gesture with his claw while saying “Come at me bro!” it was pretty much the coolest thing you could possibly do in that situation.

With that said, all of the dogs did come at him bro. They ran at Paul with their weapons at the ready, they were in for it now. Before they could even get close, he jumped at the nearest one and kicked it in the head. His talons easily skewered its brain killing it instantly. Then, with a flick of his ankle he threw the corpse at the nearest diamond dog knocking it over with the body.

Then he saw one of the dogs about to strike Spike with its crudely made spear. He may be a jerk, but he couldn't just let them kill Spike, that's irresponsible. He quickly jumped back to where spike was and latched onto the attacking diamond dog's head with his teeth and shook his head violently. It was enough the break the dog's spine and it fell limp to the ground.

Then one of the diamond dogs behind Paul got the bright idea to slap him in the back with a big rock it was carrying. Paul didn't even flinch, he just stood their motionless for a second before slowly turning his head 180 degrees on its axis and starring directly at the diamond dog. It visibly shrunk under his gaze and started trembling.

"Shhh shhh, it's ok sport." Whispered Paul. "Accidents happen. Here you go." He pulled a loaded revolver from his chest cavity and handed it to the dog who was shaking extremely hard at this point. It didn't know what the thing was but it understood exactly what it had to do.

With a shaky hand the dog put the revolver to its head before taking a few deep breaths and finally pulling the trigger.

"Good-night, sweet prince; and flights of angles sing thee to thy rest." Said Pul before turning to fight the other diamond dogs. Luckily, even in the middle of the fighting, they were considerate enough to give Paul plenty of time to do all of that.

Next a diamond dog with a sharpened rock spear started charging with the point pointed right at him. Paul was hardly impressed and he just slapped the weapon out of its hands with one claw as soon as it got close enough. The Diamond dog just stopped for a second looking extremely confused about his attack being thwarted so easily. Paul gave his opponent a few seconds to regroup himself before he grabbed it on either side of its head with his claws and tore its skull in half.

Then Paul sighed, this was fun and all, but he was just messing around with these dogs. Maybe he should just finish this. With that thought he channeled a stream of economic energon from subspace into the form of a large sword. Economic energon is blue in case you were wondering. He then proceeded to slice through any diamond dog that got within his reach. It was easy, like cutting butter with a warm economic energon sword. Within seconds Paul was surrounded by the mutilated bodies of over a dozen dogs.

After seeing so many of their comrades dispatched so easily the remaining diamond dogs stopped their uncoordinated attack and started to back off. Paul knew victory was at hand now, the only thing keeping the remaining diamond dogs from running home crying was the fact that their leader was still there. That would be easy enough to fix.

Paul then turned towards the alpha dog, who was yelling insults at the other dogs and trying to get them to continue the attack, and jumped up as high as he could in the air. The dog noticed the sudden movement and looked up to see Paul over thirty feet up above him with his glowing blue sword. "GREAT ETHER!" Shouted Paul as he came down on top of the alpha dog easily slicing it in half in one motion.

The remaining dogs just looked at their leader in horror as he sudden split into two pieces from Paul's attack. Without another word they turned and ran off whimpering like little puppies.

Paul just smirked like always, he was victory once again. Nothing could bring him down, he was just toooo good.

Of course the fight wasn't over yet. The various pieces of dead diamond dogs started moving on their own towards one edge of the quarry. Paul just stared at this in confusion. Are they supposed to do that? The various pieces of corpses then started molding together in some ungodly way. After about thirty seconds the abomination was finished creating itself. It was basically just a writhing mass of dog limbs that looked somewhat reminiscent of a sea urchin.

Paul hardly understood what just happened, but he wasn't about to question it. He honestly just didn't care at this point. Then the ball of reanimated diamond dogs started rolling at Paul, pushing off the ground with its many limbs. Paul was about to simply dodge out of the way when he noticed Spike right in the thing's roll-jectory (I made that word up just now) still curled in a ball on the ground. Paul instead leapt in and grabbed Spike before jumping to the side and narrowly avoiding over two thousand pounds of meat.

Luckily Spike was here to add a little bit of a challenge, otherwise this would just be too easy. The ball monster quickly righted itself and started rolling back towards Paul once again. This time he simply jumped up avoiding it. He could just keep dodging it all day, but that's lame. Instead he put Spike down and focused his economic energon into his claws to charge up his next attack. The thing was hardly deterred by how easily Paul had dodged it and it immediately came around for another chance to crush its opponent.

Unfortunately, before it could get close enough Paul let out his economic energon in the form of a laser which easily pierced the ball monster's flesh. It stopped there for a few seconds gushing blood everywhere from the attack before it simply exploded from the massive discharge of energon. Guts rained down showering everything within a hundred yards in blood. It was pretty cool.

At this point Spike was starting to get confused. He was terrified of the diamond dogs so as soon as they started to attack he curled into a ball too scared to do anything else. He had expected for them to have struck him down by this point though. He heard the sounds of fighting but now it was all quiet. Maybe they got away? Spike decided to chance lifting his head to see what was going on.

What he saw would have given most children his age nightmares for years to come. A few meters away Paul stood victoriously atop a large mound of what he could only assume to be the mangled and now unrecognizable flesh of the attacking diamond dogs. He was completely covered in blood while casually eating the arm of one of his enemies while his long golden hair flowed freely in the wind. Ok, he didn't have any hair, but that would be pretty cool. Then Spike noticed that literally everything in the immediate area was caked in blood, including himself. This sure would be hard to explain to Twilight. Spike quickly forgot about that as he realized how cool Paul was and ran up to him.

Paul had already discarded the arm he was munching on. It was far too chewy for his liking, it looks like he'd have to go out and find something else to eat later. But that could wait till Twilight and every other pony went to sleep. Then Paul noticed Spike was finally up and was looking at him like he was the most amazing thing ever, which he pretty much was. Paul just smiled, at least he wasn't completely traumatized from the grizzly scene there.

"Hey kid, looks like it's about time to head home." Paul picked up his pile of gems and started walking back toward Ponyville with Spike following closely behind.

"Oh my Celestia that was so amazing! I thought we were goners for sure!" Said Spike excitedly. Then he remembered Twilight. "Ummm Paul, can you not tell Twilight about going to the quarry? She'll get really mad at me."

"Meh, no problem, I'll just make up some excuse for why we're all covered in blood." Said Paul casually. He was pretty good at lying.

Needless to say, they got a lot of strange looks as they walked back through town towards the library.

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Alright, so Paul ate an arm, I thought the title summed this chapter up quite nicely. I should mention that I probably won't update quite as often in the future. I've been typing this a lot over the past two days because I haven't really had anything to do. That's subject to change, Especially since Diaplo 3 comes out at 3:00am (Stupid blizzard and its west coast time) so I'll probably waste some time playing that.
I'm clearly not the best at writing to start with, but I also end up going over the chapters several times before I actually submit them. It takes time.