It was in the early morning and captain OC pony stood atop the hill in his most decorative armor. It was the ordinary golden armor of the royal guard, but with a fancier helmet and a long red cape that matched the red furred crest atop his helmet. All in all he felt pretty good. He was leading an army against Equestria's enemy, no doubt he would be honored greatly should he succeed. There was no doubt in his mind that he would be victorious, the scouts had been examining the forest creatures that he was to face and they don't seem so strong. Surely his forces would make short work of the invaders.

To his right was a guard pony bearing the flag of Equestria, a depiction of the princesses going in a circle. Behind him was his battalion of guards. One thousand ponies in total, all wearing their golden armor and standing in formation. They represented almost half of Canterlot's total forces. The other half were commanded by Shining Armor or the princesses. Sure there were a few hundred guards stationed at the other cities, but Canterlot was the capital as well as the military hub of Equestria. Either way, none of that was important. This was his chance to shine, the princesses trusted him with this, not Shining Armor.

The ponies stood in the field below Canterlot waiting for the first warming rays of the sun to shine over the horizon. Captain OC pony knew that it would be best to wait till it was light enough to see before he tries to engage the enemy. Ponies have particularly poor night vision and for all he knows these creature's he's facing might see just fine in the dark. Either way, as soon as he saw the sun he knew it was time to march.

Turning back to the crowd he took a moment to gaze out over their still forms. He never would get over how great it felt to command such an army. "Soldiers, today we march against the creatures that have made their home in the Everfree forest! We cannot let them bring harm to Equestria! Fret not my fellow ponies, Celestia is watching over us!" All the guards cheered as he finished his small speech.

Without another word he turned and marched forward down the hill with the others following behind him still in formation. They continued to march until they got close to the forest, they wouldn't be able to stay in formation once they got inside which would make things more difficult. Captain OC pony had no experience fighting in a forest, ponies always preferred to fight in fields or cities or such, but how hard could it be?

He was about to give the order for his troops to continue marching when he heard a faint rumbling coming from up ahead. Instead of saying anything he continued to listen to hopefully figure out what it was. As it got louder he started to worry a little bit, it sounded like a stampede. A herd of cows would be really inconvenient right now. Then again, by the sound of it, it was moving too slow to be cows. What else could it possibly be?

By now the stamping was perfectly audible out in the field and the guards were starting to look around nervously.

"Hold!" Yelled captain OC pony, just to make sure none of the guards try to break rank or anything. Then they got their first look at the enemy. It was a strange red thing that was walking awkwardly on two legs and had its arms bent in a strange way above its head. It wasn't even that big, and its arms looked too lanky to hurt very badly. "Hahaha, is that it? I thought we were actually going to have to try!" Taunted the captain. The nearby guards all laughed at this.

Then more and more of the creatures started emerging from the forest. The guards stopped laughing as they saw a literal tide of spy crabs slowly charging at them leaving a trail of smoke in their wake. By the looks of it, there were at least two thousand of them. The ponies were outnumbered. Captain OC pony still doubted their fighting ability though, now that they were closer he could see that their eyes were all looking around in random directions. They probably lacked any intelligence.

Once they were close enough, the captain decided to take the fight to them. "CHAAAAARGE!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. He started running at the enemy and was closely followed by all of his earth pony guards. The unicorns started firing their long range spell from their horns while the pegasus stayed behind. This was something that was taught to all the unicorn guards. It is basically just a concentrated burst of magic that they are able to shoot pretty far. They can shoot off a few of these, taking out enemies from long range, before they run out of magic and join the melee.

Once the unicorns are done firing the pegasus fly forward quickly and attack enemies from above while the earth ponies prefer attacking everything head on. As the ponies continued to charge the first wave of colorful magic bolts arced over them and rained down on the advancing enemy. They hit with enough force to knock over the spy crabs or even knock them out. Several more volleys were launched off before the majority of the unicorns were out of power and started charging themselves only to be followed by the wave of pegasus who took to the air.

Time seemed to slow down for captain OC pony as they finally clashed with the enemy. All other sound seemed to be drowned out by his heartbeat as adrenalin took over. He soon found himself kicking at any spy crab that came near. They, for the most part, weren't all that good at fighting, but some of them were getting some noticeably painful kicks and punches off on his soldiers. One even managed to hit him pretty hard in the side. It received a buck to the face for its effort causing the spy crab to fly back in an almost comical way.

They continued fighting like this for about five minutes and the ponies seemed to be winning. By now there were boo boos, ouchies, and bruises everywhere, though there weren't many casualties. There weren't a lot of deaths since neither party was using weapons.

Another spy crab came at captain OC pony. He simply stood up on his back legs and kicked it in the chest with his front hoof. It took a few steps back from the blow before being bucked in the head from a flying pegasus. After a few seconds it got back up. The captain was about to attack it again, but it turned and began scuttling away. Looking around it seemed that all the spy crabs were in full retreat back to the forest. Only the ones that had been knocked out were still present.

"YEAAAAAAH!" All of the ponies began to cheer at their victory and not even the captain could help feeling excited. This was his first major victory! He'd been aching to show the princesses his worth ever since the whole changeling thing and now he won an important battle that would surely leave the enemy sufficiently bruised to keep them from coming back any time soon.

Some of the ponies were even still attacking the retreating spy crabs, just doing as much damage as possible. This ended as suddenly all the spy crabs disappeared in clouds of smoke. This was strange enough to cause many of the cheering ponies to stop and instead look around at their comrades to see if they had any idea how the spy crabs just vanish. Eventually they all quieted down and most of the confused ponies' eyes settled on the captain who was equally confused. They were clearly looking for answers.

He was trying to figure out what just happened when he heard a strange noise in the distance. Turning his ears towards the forest he was able to hear it slightly clearer. To him it sounded reminiscent of a fan, but much larger if he could hear it from all the way in the forest. Most of the guards seemed to have forgotten their confusion about where the spy crabs went and were now listening to the noise as it gradually got louder.

Then a pegasus guard from above yelled out. "I think I see something coming up over the trees!"

Captain OC pony wasn't sure what to expect, he'd never heard of anything that makes that noise before. He didn't have to wonder for long before large things flew up over the tree line. They were strange to say the least. First off, they were flying, but they didn't have any pegasus pulling them. He couldn't understand how the strangely shaped things could possibly stay in the air, the small wings on their sides didn't even flap. He also wasn't sure what their purpose was or why they were even here. They didn't look dangerous as they had no claws and from the looks of it, no mouth.

Even lacking these things they were intimidating, though, as the roar they made was like nothing they had heard before. This was enough to keep the pegasus from simply charging the large black and dark brown flying things. The guard ponies just stared at them in a mixture of fear and curiosity as they continued to get closer.

Then the air was filling with a loud cracking sound and several of his soldiers screamed out in pain. He looked around to see that ponies were falling left and right, the strange creatures seemed to be attacking somehow. Without warning a barrage of fireballs suddenly fired out of the flying things and flew at the guards. Captain OC pony was about to yell a warning when the fire impacted the ground and erupted in large explosions all around him. The shock wave from the blasts was enough to singe his fur and he could hardly hear his soldier's screaming over the ringing in his ears.

He knew this fight was over now, He couldn't face an unknown enemy this powerful. "RETREAT! RETREAT!" He started yelling as loud as he could. This wasn't entirely necessary as most of the soldiers were already running away at full speed.

The helicopters continued firing after them until they ran up over the hill on the other side of the field.

I was having a great day. Not only because I was flying a fucking apache helicopter, but also because I found a cake on the seat when I got in. Against my better judgement, I quickly devoured the treat that was likely hundreds if not thousands of years old. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it tasted like delicious rainbows and magical explosions. Steve was my co-pilot while the rest of the helicopters were piloted by spy crabs. The controls were pretty simple, simple enough for a spy crab at least. We were flying around getting the hang of it when suddenly Dance Blaster's voice came on over the mic.

"We have ponies engaging spy crabs approximately two clicks south of your position."

"I read you, moving in to engage. You heard him everyone, look alive! All copters check in."

"Stink weed standing by!" Yelled one spy crab over the mic.

"Rape train standing by!"

"Weegee standing by!"

"Bear in the big blue house standing by!"

"Red penis standing by!" The spy crabs all thought that name was really funny and started chuckling to themselves.

"That's not funny! Not even a little bit!" Ok, it was pretty funny. Truth is I was slightly jell-us I hadn't thought of a cooler name like that first. I named our helicopter the friendship explosion...

As we got closer to the edge of the trees I could see the forms of hundreds of ponies in the field ahead. I pulled the small radio out of my chest and flipped on an appropriate song.

As we flew over the edge of the field I couldn't help but shout, "For the lolz!" before opening fire with the machine gun strapped to the bottom of the helicopter. The others joined me as I fired a barrage of missiles into the shocked ponies. The explosions were enough to scare them away and we continued firing after them until they got over the hill. This brought back great memories of the times I used to go out and shoot horses with a rifle while riding in a helicopter.

Once they were all over the hill we flew back to the trees. We weren't gonna' chase them down, that would be a huge dick move. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a dick... Ok, I'm a dick...
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I wasn't sure if I was gonna' be able to stretch that battle into a full chapter, but once I started it was easy to do.

Captain OC pony: Ponies! Tonight! We dine! In Tartarus!

Paul: Be afraid, Canterlot will burn to the ground!

This is stupid, this is fucking dumb!

Captain OC pony: Dumb? This. Is. EQUESTRIA!

The thousand ponies of the Equestrian empire descend upon you! Our Pegusus will blot out the sun!

Paul: Then we'll lol in the shade.

I wanted to add some cool quotes but I had no opportunity to.

Awww this doesn't show up on the home page because I uploaded the last chapter like 10 hours ago :{