Authors note: I can't believe this work of literary garbage has more likes than dislikes... Oh who am I kidding, I work hard to type this. Maybe someday it will even be featured by the admins... Lol, that's never gonna' happen, but I can dream. Can't I?
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Paul walked back to Ponyville. Yeah, cool story, I know. He had just gotten out of the elemental plane of unicorns and it was pretty early in the morning. The sun was still just starting to come up over the horizon which meant that he'd have to go back to work soon. He carried the demonic conch with him as he walked, but they didn't talk at all.

That is, until they got to Ponyville and the demonic conch asked to be put down in some alley. Paul didn't ask questions, he didn't really care what the conch did. Now alone, Paul started to head over to Applejack's farm where he would no doubt spend a long day of hard work and low pay.

Once he got there, it was the same thing as last time. He had to clean the pig pens and feed them, then there were the cows. Paul really didn't like the cows, the way they looked at him while he milked them was just weird. At least there was a routine, he could live with a routine.

After countless seconds of you reading, the day was over, and Paul was able to return to his temporary home in the library tree. He was pretty excited to go in the forest and build his special project some more, but he also hadn't eaten all day. He would simply go and steal some food from Twilight's pantry/fridge and maybe have a pleasant conversation with her. Then, afterwards, he could go to the forest and build some more. It was a perfect plan.

The walk to the library from the apple orchard/farm was uneventful and not worth typing about. With that said, Paul was now at the library tree. He walked in the small front door, careful not to hit his head, and proceeded to walk to the kitchen.

Halfway through the main room he was verbally assaulted. "What the hay are you doing?" Paul looked over and saw Twilight standing at the top of the stairs with a frown in her face.

Paul looked down as if he was inspecting himself for a second before answering. "As far as I can tell, I'm breathing, I was walking too, and I'm being alive. Which one are you upset about?"

Twilight almost blurted out that she was angry about him being alive but she caught herself. "I'm mad because you're tracking mud all over my freshly cleaned library!"

Paul looked down at his feet and noticed that there was a small amount of dirt on them from working in the farm and walking around outside. "Look, Purple guy, you ponies walk through the dirt all day without any shoes on. I'm sure that I'm not tracking any more dirt than every other pony that walks in here."

She pointed a hoof towards a small mat by the door that was clearly made for wiping your feet before entering the library before she glared at him angrily. "My names not Purple guy!"

"Wait, it's not? Oh man, that's embarrassing, I thought you were Purple guy this whole time..."

"I already told you my name is Twilight Sparkle! Why would my name even be Purple guy?!" She yelled.

"I don't know, why would your name be Twilight Sparkle? I just figured your parents thought it would be funny to name you Purple guy."

Twilight face hoofed for a few seconds before continuing. "Alright, and where have you been for the past two days?" She knew that he had been at Applejack's farm, but not what he did all night. She needed to know these things so she could follow him and kill him one of these days.

"I went into the forest. No big deal." Paul shrugged and walked into the kitchen. Once inside, he checked the freezer and was relieved to see that the ice chest and Steve were still in there. He then opened the fridge and started pulling stuff out. Twilight now came into the room and stared at him as he began piling random food stuffs on a nearby counter.

"Where in the forest?" She asked after a few seconds.

"I don't know, I didn't have a map." Paul actually did know, he remembered perfectly exactly where he had been (Being a man means he has a natural sense of direction, much like how earth ponies are naturally stronger). He just didn't want to explain it to her.

Twilight sighed, she clearly wasn't going to be able to interrogate him about exactly where he went. "So, what are you even making?"

Paul was quite literally just taking out anything he saw and piling it onto a piece of bread. "A sammich."

Twilight ignored his horrible pronunciation of the word 'sandwich' and instead asked the obvious question. "Why are you putting all that stuff on it?" It was a good question, at this point the sandwich contained half a dozen raw eggs, some cheese, ketchup, and at least four types of vegetables. Normally Paul wouldn't eat such unhealthy food (vegetables), but he was hella hungry.

Paul got a great idea, perhaps he could rope her into making the sandwich. She was a female after all (which means she has a natural ability to make sandwiches). "What? Like you could make a better sandwich."

This didn't work as twilight just rolled her eyes. "That doesn't look like a sandwich, it looks like a dead animal."

"Perfect." Stated Paul simply.

"Whatever, I'm going back upstairs." She clearly gave up on trying to talk to Paul.

Twilight then left and Paul was free to devour his abomination of a sandwich. It tasted pretty good. After his delicious meal, he went to the local hardware store. Thankfully, it was open pretty late so he was able to buy a butt load of random metal scraps with his money. A quick treck through the forest and he was back at his make shift work shop. It was pretty much just a small clearing with a pile of tools and metal in it. At least no ponies come into the forest, so no one would see it. That is assuming that none of the animals feel compelled to touch it.

He instantly got to work with his tools (which are magic, much like all pony technology) and spent the next few hours just sitting in the grass working. Things were going pretty good until he heard something rustling through bushes a little ways off with his super hearing. Paul just stood up and waited, whatever it was it would either leave or do something soon.

Then something ran out of the bushes from behind Paul. This was exactly what he was waiting for, so he was prepared. He jumped in the air and roundhouse kicked right at whatever it was. His foot made contact with something and it was pushed a short ways away. As he landed he was able to identify it as some type of lion whose mother clearly had unprotected sex with a scorpion and a bat at some point, perhaps at the same time. It was now pulling itself off the ground from Paul's kick.

Paul smirked to himself. "Chuck Norris aint got nuthin on me." Walker texas ranger? More like QWOPer texas ranger!

It didn't take long for the huge lion thing to recover from the kick and now it was growling at Paul. It clearly wanted nothing more than to feast on his skin, but he knew better than to let that happen. He simply reached into his chest cavity and pulled out a bag of catnip that he had been saving for a special occasion.

The manticore looked at him, then at the bag. It clearly knew what it was. "Wanna get high?"

Hours later Paul and the manticore were sitting with their backs against some trees. They had smoked, snorted, and shot up the entire bag of catnip (oxford comma). Paul couldn't help but laugh as he saw a purple and green dinosaur dancing around in front of him. "Hehe, Barney is one crazy son of a bitch..." The manticore was too busy licking its butt and purring to notice though, it had been licking its butt for like the last hour.

Then Barney started puking lasers at the death star. At this point Paul stared feeling really hungry, he could tell the manticore was feeling the same and they soon found themselves walking through the forest. The next thing he knew, they were eating a live zebra legs first. It started screaming. "Stop eating me, i demand you set me free!"

Paul found it funny that the mutant zebra was getting eaten by a mutant lion. It was even more funny that it was rhyming. Paul chuckled a little through a mouth full of zebra leg. Within literally seconds, they had devoured the entire zebra and they started running around yelling random profanities. More specifically, Paul was yelling.

Before long, they found themselves in Ponyville. Paul rode on the manticore's back as it ran through the streets knocking down trash cans and carts that had been left in the town square over night. While still mounted on the manticore, Paul used an energon baseball bat to smash ponies' mailboxes while they ran past.

The rest of the night was a blur and Paul woke up in an alleyway as some light from the sun shone onto his face. He instantly jumped up, he was late for work! By the looks of it the sun had already been up for at least an hour. He ran out of the alley, now concerned that he would get fired. Then he noticed that there were a lot of ponies, possibly the whole town assembled in front of the town square and listening to a brown and gray pony talk. After looking for a few moments, he spotted Applejack and her brother standing in the crowd.

Shewf, looks like I have an excuse for why I wasn't at work. Paul got closer to the ponies and stood in the back of the crowd to hear what the pony on stage was saying. Basically, the pony, who he assumed was a girl based on the voice, talked about how a manticore came through town last night and broke a bunch of mailboxes and carts and generally made a huge mess. Apparently they didn't know that Paul helped or where the manticore ran off to. Now everyone had gathered together to help clean up the mess.

After a short mental debate about whether or not he should help, Paul reluctantly decided to join the clean up effort. Not that he cared that he had helped make the mess, but he knew the other ponies would probably get mad at him for not helping. More specifically, Applejack would. He really didn't want to get fired at this point, not until after he finished his ultimate creation.

Thankfully, the clean up only took about an hour with everyone helping. They replaced about a dozen mailboxes that Paul remembered destroying and cleaned up all the trash and broken carts. Once that was done, he walked over to the apple farm with Applejack and her brother and worked the rest of the day.

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'Paul meats Zecora', get it? Because she's made of meat... There's only one zebra in the world, who did you think Paul and the manticore killed?
Back to short chapters now... (Fluttershy yay!)