Act 6 part 2: Finally!

"Well... This would make you the third person to match or surpass my height... " I said with wide eyes, as I stare at the dragon in awe. He nervously stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door. Twilight and I were looking at spike, who must have eaten a super mushroom or some shit because he's fucking huge now! His scales and spikes got longer and sharper, along with all of his teeth and claws. His snout got longer and less round. His arms and legs were now much longer with significantly more muscle. The biggest change by far was the large set of dragon wings that he had now.

"Well, I'd say you're officaly a giant fire breathing badass now!" I said with a respectful nod. Twilight just kept staring wordlessly at him. He seemed to be slightly embarrassed but also very excited about his new body. I turned into my human form and was surprised when I didn't have to look down to meet his eyes. I think he's as tall as Luna now?

"Damn dude...welcome to the height club! How does it feel to look down on ponies instead of up?" I ask, patting his back.

"It feels really weird, like everything shrunk." He muttered with uncertainty.

"Well this explains why you were so sick this week! You were about to have a growth spurt!" Twilight said with a wide smile, finally saying something.

"Wait till everyone sees you dude!" I said with a chuckle. That sentence seemed to change his mood a bit. He stopped standing on his hindlegs and went down to all fours, reducing his height signifigantly. Twilight and I noticed his mood shift and got concerned.

"What's the matter Spike?" Twilight asked.

"What if everypony is afraid of me?" He asked with a sniff.

Shit... Didn't think about that did I?

"What? Dont be silly Spike! Its still you!" Twilight said with a wave of her hoof.

"Don't worry about it!" I said with a laugh. He doesn't look scary to me! Then again... Fear is a hit or miss thing with me. Sometimes I'm scared to death of something and sometimes I figuratively shit my pants.

"Ok if you say so." Spike said with a shrug as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"How old are you again?" I asked curiously.

"Like 9..." Spike muttered. I stared at him in disbelief, then Twilight decided to cut in.

"Well by pony standards he would still be a young colt. However, a year for a dragon is more like two for a stallion." Twilight explained.

"What, So he's like 18 now?" I reason.

"Essentially!" Twilight confirmed with a nod.

"Damn..." I muttered, I folding my arms.

"How old are you DJ?" Spike asks curiously.

"I'm 21..." I said plainly. To that Twilight gasps.

"Really? I'm only 19!" Twilight says with a giggle. Then she looks at me curiously.

"Is 21 young for a human?" She asks curiously.

"Yep! 21 is the legal age for achohol in my country and my brain won't technically be 100% developed until I'm around 25. I guess that's why I'm still not the most mature guy at times." I explain.

"Hmm... interesting" Twilight says as she rubs her muzzle. Before anyone could say anything, Spike opened his mouth wide and yawned.

"We'll everypony, I'm going to bed." Spike said, with tired written all over his face.

"Um, about that..." Twilight said with a nervous smile.

"What?" Spike and I said at the same time.

"Well now that spike's a BIG boy now..." Shes said, trailing off.

"Oh. I can't fit in that bed anymore." Spike said with a deadpan expression.

"Ok just use my bed for tonight then." I muttered uncaringly. I just want to get to sleep now. I yawned and walked down the stairs. "Goodnight." I said as I plopped myself on the couch. They returned their good nights and I quickly dozed off.

...

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Twilight quickly rush over to it. She opened it to reveal Flash timidly standing outside. The hell is he doing here? Oh right, him and Twilight are an item.

"Sup Flash... " I mutter groggingly.

"Hey DJ, long time no see! Are you just getting up?" He asks with a laugh.

"No. I just like acting sleepy as fuck when people show up..." I said sarcastically. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Before he could say anything smart back, his eyes suddenly widened and he looked like he was going to shit himself. I turned around to see Spike happily walking over with two plates of his amazing pancakes. His happnies faded when he saw Flash's frightened expression.

"See! I told you everypony would be afraid!" Spike pouted. I quickly stood up and laughed.

"Chill out bro! Flash is just a pussy!" I quip, making Flash facehoof. Spike rolls his eyes and sits on the couch next to me.

"Whatever you say DJ..." Spike muttered as he handed me one of plates he was holding.

"Thanks!" I said. Then I happily dig into the food. Spike and I are just sitting there devouring pancakes while Flash stands there tapping his hoof and whistling awkwardly. Then Twilight came and gave Spike and I an odd look. The silence in the room got worse when we looked up from our food and stopped chewing.

"So. Flash. What brings you here today?" I ask, piercing the silence.

"Oh...um...Twilight told me to come over today. Something about spending quality alone time." He said with a nervous smile. I slowly turned my head to Spike and he looked at me cluelessly. I set my plate down and sighed.

"Spike, let's go on a walk." I tell him seriously.

"What? Why?"

"Just come on dude its important. I'll explain outside!"

"You're not going to explain the birds and the bees to me are you? Because I already know about them and I'm old enough to Rut now anywa-"

"I know! Just come outside!"

"But...but... I didn't finish my pancakes!"

"Fuck the pancakes, we're leaving!" I said as I snatch him out of the seat with my magic.

"Ok! ok! Sheesh." Spike pouts, finally cooperating. Then he hesitates again and slowly raised his hand.

"Can I at least finish my panca-"

"NOW!"

We both waved too the couple and left the house as quickly as we could, slamming the door behind us. The moment we got out I transformed into Dawn. Spike almost roared and started shaking me vigorously.

"WHY DID WE HAVE TO LEAVE?" He screamed in my face.

"Calm down! Couldn't you tell what we were messing up?" I demand as he stops shaking me.

"What were we messing up? We were just eating pancakes!" He said with a twitching eye.

"We were messing up Twilight's booty call!" I said as I motion for him to follow me away from her house. Spike follows me with a puzzled expression.

"Why else do you think she called Flash over?" I said with a disapointed expression.

"Maybe to spend quality time with him?" Spike said with a raised brow.

"Pfft. More like, to spend quality time with his dick..." I quip, getting him to cringe.

"Ew! You obviously don't know Twilight well if you think that's why..." He said with a snort.

"Oh yeah lets rephrase that. She called him over to study his dick, FOR SCIENCE." I corrected with a shit eating grin. Spike blinks for a second then starts snickering.

"That sounds more like her!" He said before we both errupted in laughter. When we stopped with both stood there awkwardly.

"So what now?" Spike asks with a stretch, as I rub my chin in thought.

"Well you have fucking wings now soooo...." I said, trailing off with a deadpan expression. Spike looked to his sides and extended his large scaled wings.

"Right...forgot about those..." He said with a laugh. Then he started to frown.

"I have no idea how to use them." He said flatly.

"I'm not exactly a veteren dude. Celestia only taught me the basics." I said with a shrug. His eyes widened slightly, making me raise my brow.

"What?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. It's just that I'm surprised the Princess had time to do something like that." He muttered.

"Really?"

"Yeah! She's usually really busy. You must be important to her if she sets aside the time to hang out with you." He explained. I nodded and slowly looked down to my hooves, my cheeks feeling a little hot.

"Maybe." I said quietly. Then when I looked up Spike was giving me this knowing look. I slowly frown at him and he starts snickering.

"You totally like her dude!" He teased as he bumped me in the arm.

"Shut up spike..."

"Hahaha! You totally want her to examine YOUR dick for sci-" he started to say before I gave him a hard knock in the shoulder. He retaliates by punching me so hard it, actually makes me stumble and groan.

"OW! What the hell Spike!?" I bark in pain. Spike chuckles and those things on the side of his face (his ears?) drooped slightly.

"Sorry bro! I guess I don't know my own strength!" He said with a shrug. I fixated him with an angry look, Then zapped his arm with a weak laser, making him yelp. Now it was my turn to laugh obnoxiously. Before I could comment on his baby like pouting he opened his mouth wide and suddenly a green flame shot from his it and lit my side on fire. My eyes widened and I started to shriek and flail around.

"DAMN FIRE BREATHING LIZARD!" I screamed. Spike panicked and tried tapping the fire out but him trying to tap it out not only spread the flame, it also made it alot more painful because this motherfucker is heavy handed now. So basically there was this comical moment where I ran around flailing while essentily getting beat down by him. This obviously caused a scene. A large crowd of ponies started to form around us, making Spike nervous. Me? Well I was to busy STILL ON FIRE!

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLEY SOMEPONY PUT THIS OUT!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Thankfully, before I became a charred chrisp, I was suddenly showered with rain water. I looked up and saw Rainbow dash sitting on a cloud with a smirk.

"*huff* Took you long enough! " I said as I sighed in relief. Then I turned back to Spike angrily.

"Well thanks to you I'm rocking a dark spot like a fucking cow..." I muttered. Spike just grinned nervously.

*ahem*

I looked up and Dash was on the cloud tapping it like she was waiting for something. I sat there and scratched my head, making her clear her throat again.

"Oh I forgot. Thanks for the save Dash." I said realizing what she wanted. She beamed then hopped off the cloud and landed next to us. She immediately looked up at spike in awe, as did the crowd that was quickly surrounding us. The Ponyville populace started to talk and whisper among themselves.

"Did you see that? That dragon attacked Dawn!"

"Holy hay!"

"It looked more like an accident to me..."

"Yeah you're right!"

"That dragon looks familiar!"

"Yeah...looks kinda like Spike..."

"Yeah..."

"hey wait a second! It IS Spike!"

"No way!"

"He's grown into a big stallion.. Er...Dragon..."

"Wow! I can't believe it!"

"I am overcome with surprise!"

"Aww! He ain't that cute little dragon no more..."

"Ain't cute? I think he's even cuter now!"

"I known right!"

Spike's cheeks started to turn red and he stood on all fours, tucking his wings to his sides in an attempt to look more pathetic. Then they all started making observations about Spike's new build until we heard an odd request.

"Oh please Buck me Spike!"

"..."

Everyone in the crowd had this WTF expression on as they parted to reveal a heartstruck red and white Pegasus. When she realized everyone was staring at her she smiled nervously.

"Heh....um..." She stuttered. Then her wings immediately popped open.

"I love you Spike!!!" She cried out, then she zipped away. Everyone sat there in silence with shocked expressions. I leaned in close to Spike and whispered in his ear.

"You wanted fangirls and now you've got them." I whispered.

"This is not as cool as I thought it would be..." He whispered back.

"Well wait for them to start touching you. Then it just gets creepy!" I tease with a light tap to his side making him frown. Then as if on cue, a pink blur came out of nowhere and basically tackled the poor dragon to the ground.

"Spikey? Is that really you?" Pinkie asked as she bounced up and down like a rabbit on his chest.

"Oof! Yes its-Oof! Me pink-Oof! Stop it!" He said as he gently pushed her aside.

"Wow! You look so cool! Can you breath fire now?" She asked. Spike scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Of course I can! I've always been able too! Just not as easily as now." He said as he folded his arms.

"Yeah he breaths fire alright! I experienced that myself..." I said bitterly, to which Spike responds with a smirk.

"Yay! Spike grew some balls party!" Pinkie shouted loudly.

"Wh...what?" Spike said, turning blue in the face. Then the crowd started to cheer at the mention of another Pinkie party, disregarding the outrageous title of said party. Spike just slowly raised his hand to his face and shook his head. Pinkie proceeded to zip over to me beaming brighter than the sun itself.

"Hi dawn! You look like a cow!"

"Kinda almost burned to death a few moments ago."

"That sounds fun! Can I try?"

"..."

"Sure, maybe later." Spike said sarcastically. Pinkie made that fucking "squeee" sound again and everytime I hear that sound I miss being back on my world where shit actually made sense.

"Dawn, come by Sugar Cube Corner please! I'm gonna need your help with something!" Pinkie whispered in my ear. I shrugged and she smiled mischievously, making me raise my brow suspiciously. Why the hell did she smile like that? Before I could question it further she disappeared, leaving a puff of dust shaped like a pony. Then the crowd started to disperse, no doubt getting ready for the party.

After a few moments of silence I turned to Rainbow.

"So where is Lightning?"

"Passed out on my bed, looking devilishly handsome!" She said with a smirk. I slowly raise my hoof to my face and shoke my head.

"Why am I asking? I regret asking! Fuck asking! Never asking again!" I said to myself grumpily as I start to trot away. Spike looks at me curiously and raises his brow.

"Where are you going?"

"Sugar Cube Corner to help Pinkie with the party or something. Want to come?"

"Grrrr.... I was hoping she was joking about that party. I can't show up to something like that!'

"Since when does Pinkie joke about parties? Besides, would you rather stay here or go to Pinkie?" I ask as I casually gesture to the heart struck mares that stayed basically salivating at the sight of him right now. Spike takes a good look around before sighing in defeat. Then he wordlessly starts walking alongside me. Rainbow just shrugs and flies off somewhere. I wanted to question why she was even here in the first place but considering I almost burnt to death it doesn't really matter now.

We walk through the Ponyville streets at heightened awareness, mostly because of all the new attention we were getting. We tried to play it cool and ignore them for the most part but hearing them talk about us gets old pretty fast.

"So have you seen any mares you like?" I said out of the blue with a smirk.

"Nope! None." Spike says confidently.

"Oh really? What about Rarity?"

"What ABOUT Rarity?" Spike says bitterly, taking me by surprise.

"Maybe you have a chance now?"

"Yeah Right. She'll always treat me like her little 'Spikey Wikey' and nothing more. Besides, didn't you say she is with Soarin now?" He says with an angry snort, producing smoke rings that I had to fan off.

"I told you that was a possibility. Just because they were close at that sleepover doesn't mean too much because everyone there was drunk out of their minds!" I said with a reassuring smile. "Besides, Soarin told me he's more of a 'Smash and Dash' type of guy anyway." I add with a chuckle. I notice Spike recoil slightly at the thought before scoffing at me.

"It doesn't matter to me anyways, because I'm over her!" He claims. I give him a look of disbelief and he folds slightly.

"She would be way too scared of me anyways." He adds sheepishly.

"This isn't Fluttershy we're talking about dude. She may have just been waiting for a young dragon hero to sweep her off her hooves and fly off into the sunset. Which you can do pretty easily now!" I said with a laugh. He just stares at me blankly making me laugh harder. He opened his mouth to retort but nothing came to him because deep down I'm pretty sure that was a little fantasy of his.

We arrived at Sugar Cube Corner and the massive sign outside made us both pause. Spike started to slowly frown while I did the opposite and started to smile.

"Yep. she was totally serious!" I teased as I point to the sign above the entrance. It was basically a sign that said "Spike grew a pair party" and it had a crude drawing of him next to two large wallnuts.

"Why am I not surprised?" Spike muttered with a facepalm.

"Dude you just have to accept your fate!" I said with a chuckle as I drag him by the arm to walk inside. I got inside and changed to my human form.

"Maybe if you beg she'll remove the sign?" I suggest with a snicker. At first Spike frowned but then a smug grin came across his face.

"Maybe if you beg, the Princess will let you rut?" He said with a shit eating grin. I slowly narrowed my eyes and he snickered.

"I'm sick of your shit Spike. Where the hell is Pinkie anyway?" I ask as I look around the place. I start to hear steady mumbling that starts to get louder and closer. Then before I could react Rarity and Pinkie casually walked out of a door that I probably should have made a point to notice before. Spike and I froze and stood wordlessly.

"I still think you should change the title of the party Darling, it's quite vulger." Rarity said as she walked out of the door then she saw Spike and I and froze.

"Aww... But Everypony else thought it was ok!" Pinkie protests as she trotted past Rarity, stopping in front of me.

"Hi Derrick! You had a few seconds to change back to Dawn but you didn't silly!" She said cheerfully. Then I realized she was right and I slowly raised my hand to my face. Rarity slowly started to walk toward us looking between Spike and me In complete shock.

"Spiky Wikey?" She whispered. Spike deadpanned and turned his head toward me.

"See? Didn't I tell you?" He started to say with a frustrated look.

"Hey, at least she's not afraid of you." I say with a shrug.

"I'm not afraid. Just very...surprised." Rarity said as she studied Spike up and down. "Wow. Spikey Wikey you've certainly matured into a handsome gentledragon.." Rarity complimented with a faint smile. Spike didn't seem to like that statement.

"Thanks but its not Spikey Wikey, it's just SPIKE." He quipped. Rarity seemed a little embarrassed as she looked down at her hooves.

"I'm terribly sorry. You used to love being called that. " She said timidly.

"Well a lot of things have changed.. Mrs.Rarity." he said with a slightly condescending tone. Rarity raised her brow slightly, looking up at the dragon who looked down on her with impatience. Rarity sighed then turned to me. Ok Im very curious why she's not too surprised to see me in my human from.

She stared up at me with narrowed eyes and I scratched my head nervously.

"..."

"Pinkie told you everything didn't she?"

"Yes she did. And I couldn't really believe it all until now." She said as she gazed up at me. Then she slowly started to narrow her eyes, making me nervous. Then I looked past her at Pinkie and frowned.

"PINKIE! YOU PROMISED!" I barked. Pinkie's hair deflated and she gave me that cute puppy eye look that all these ponies manage to pull off so flawlessly.

"I know Derrick I'm super sorry! I only told her a tency bit but Rarity can be really-"

"-Persuasive" Rarity finished for her. I kinda just nod my head and hope for the best now. Excluding Fluttershy, Pretty much all of Twilight's friends know my secret now, well her main friend circle that is.

Rarity walked within an inch away glaring at me angrily, making me wonder what has her panties in a bunch now.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me who you were Darling?" Rarity almost hissed.

"Because I don't have to?"

"But you told Pinkie!"

"I didn't tell Pinkie shit. She just magically guessed everything somehow." I protest with an innocent arm gesture.

"She does do that a lot." Rarity muttered as the three of us turned and gave Pinkie a flat browed stare.

"What? You don't like my lucky guesses?" Pinkie said with a giggle. Then she started whispering to the wall or something. Who the fuck is she talking to?

"The author told me that DJ gets luck tonight with somepony!"

"The fuck are you talking about Pinkie?" I ask worriedly.

"Oh nothing... Just talking to the spectators!"

"..."

"Wh...why do I even bother?" I say with a facepalm.

"Anyway, My identity is kinda classified." I say, turning back to Rarity.

"Well that certainly didn't stop you from telling Spike!"

"But I live with the guy. He's like the little brother I never had!" I say as I bump him on the shoulder again, making him roll his eyes.

"Well whom else knows your secret?" Rarity asked.

"Twilight, Dash, Applejack, Pinkie, sorta Gilda and the entire Royal guard." I say verbatim.

"I wish you told me sooner darling! I would have worked harder on your new wardrobe if I knew you were still around!" Rarity said as she looked at my black and white hoodie, basketball short combo.

"New wardrobe?"

"Yes! I have over 10 outfits dedicated to you! You inspired me to challenge myself and try making clothing for another species! I also made some for Dawning Jade, who is now you apprantly. You should come try them on sometime..." She trailed off with a half lidded expression.

"Yeah....No."

"Why not? You would make a wonderful Unicorn model!"

Nope. I'm not the guy for flashy clothes. Especially if Rarity would be drooling at me wearing said clothes.

"Nah. Get Soarin to model for you, he's an athlete Anyway!" I quip.

"I no longer associate with him." Rarity said coldy. Spike and I shared a knowing look and turned back, trying to hold in laughter. Then I couldn't help but flash a smile.

"Hey, Why don't you get Spike to model for you? I'm sure he'd love too!" I ask as I gesture to him. Spike immediately gives me this flat browed look and Rarity starts to blush. She looked Spike over for a couple seconds then looked down at her hooves.

"Well I'll have to think about that one..." She said trailing off with a blush. Then she looked back up with a neutral face.

"I'm afraid I must be going. I have to prepare for the party." She said with a wave. Spike and I sheepishly waved back as she walked around us and exited. The moment she left I turned to Spike.

"So I bet your were hoping for her to-"

"Shut up DJ."

"Fine."

I turned back to Pinkie and she was humming too herself as she decorated a dozen cupcakes with purple and green sprinkles. I looked around and the whole place had a purple and Green theme to it. There were even pictures of the "new" Spike all over the place, which is funny because I don't remember Pinkie having a camera out. Just smile and nod DJ smile and nod.

"So what did you need me for Pinkie?" I ask. She then looks up at us with a look I couldn't read, which is strange for her because her expression is either happy, super happy or maximum happy.

"You'll see in a sec. But Spike can't see until his party! It's a surprise!" She claimed as she trotted over to Spike and slowly pushed him out the door. "So come back later please Spikey!" Pinkie said cheerfully.

"Ok but I have no clue when the party st-" he tried to say before he was pushed out the door. Sheesh... She's almost Applejack strong. I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. Assuming she even has a bad side. Then she immediately locked the door then zipped around to close and cover the windows. Its like she's about to share the secrets of the universe to me or something and considering its Pinkie, I'm willing to bet she knows them.

Then, she turned around...

And I instantly knew what was going on. Considering what major event is happening in Equestria I really should have known, but Pinkie was certainly the last pony I would expect to pull something like this.

She was staring at me with this hungry half lidded look, her hindelegs shivering and her tail slowly swishing back and forth. I started to back away but with every step I took she would take one toward me.

"So what's the secret Pinkie?" Asked in an attempt to stall.

"*giggle* you and I both know there is no secret!"

"Fuck me..."

"Yes"

"No!"

"Come on DJ, let's have some FUN!" She said in a seductive tone, which sounded odd coming from her.

"I cant right now, I have...uh...things to do!"

"Like me?"

"Yes... Wait NO!"

*giggle*

At this point I'd managed to bump into a table, knock over a chair and even trip over a box, making me fall on my back. Now I was slowly crawling on my back and Pinkie was within grabbing distance. I should probably try to run for it- nope I'm cornered.

"Lets have a little private party DJ..."

"Let's not."

"Oh don't be such a baby!" She said as she pounced on me and started to nuzzle my cheek. I tried to push her away but she just came back.

"Pinkie seriously, I dont want to do this!"

"Oh don't be silly cutie!" She said as she moved my hand onto her back. Then she slowly moved it down her back until it was firmly placed on her plot. Woah. Did not know THIS was here. Its taking all my willpower not to squeeze it. Then she closed her eyes and put her other hoof on a spot where it shouldn't go and leaned in for a kiss.

I shivered and blushed furiously, barely holding in a moan.

Speaking of willpower...

"Pinkie..." I said as I grabbed her hoof and moved it away from my area and I moved her hoof from my face with the other one. She opened her eyes and gazed in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"I said NO Pinkie." I said sternly. Then her hair literally deflated and turned flat, her ears drooped and her eyes started to water. Oh lord what have I done?

"*sniff* Why...n..not?" She asks, tears starting to form. That is honestly a good question... Why the hell not? No? Focus man!

"I...I...just can't Pinkie..." I said as I blush and avert my eyes.

"Do you think I'm ugly?" She asks with a sob.

Oh for fucks sake!

"No no no thats not why! You're a beautiful mare Pinkie... Its just..."

"Its just what? I'm UGLY?" she shouted loudly.

Please tell me she's not doing this...

"*sniff* and I bet you think I'm fat!" She cried as she covered her face and sobbed into her hooves.

Well...I can tell you she's the right kind of fat. Especially around the ba-NO focus on cheering her up. I grab her hooves away from her face and look her in the eye.

"Pinkie I swear to god on my life thats not why. You're not fat and you're not ugly. I'm just not ready for this kinda stuff just yet." I said seriously. I'm just a little worried that "just yet" will turn into "in a few hours" or something. Pinkie looked down and blushed, her hair started to return to its normal puffy state.

"R...really?"

"Yes, I Pinkie promise.." I stated firmly. Pinkie wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled. Ah there we go, back to normal... Mostly.

She looked own again and she started to blush again.

"DJ? Can you do me a tiny favor?" She asks.

"What is it?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Can I have a kiss?"

"A...kiss?"

"Yes. Just one kiss...to help me feel better..." She said as she gave me this helpless look. I thought for a moment then shrugged.

"I suppose I can do that.." I said with a nervous smile. Then Pinkie narrowed her eyes and smiled at me. Every time a pony gives me that look it thrills me, and im not sure why.

"Well I'm waiting mister human..." She flirted with a giggle. I smiled nervously then leaned forward and gave her a light kiss. When I pulled back she was frowning, something I didn't know Pinkie's face was even capable of. Ok thats actually pretty scary...

"Do it like you mean it mister!" She ordered.

"Ok then sheesh.." I muttered. Then I pulled her close to me and her eyes widened. Then we both melted into the kiss. I'm not sure how long we were like that, it seemed like an eternity. Endlessly exploring each others mouths. Well almost endlessly.

Pinkie suddenly broke away and moaned loudly. Thats when my head cleared and I realized I was groping the fuck out of her flank. I started to blush and slowly remove my hands. Pinkie giggled and got off of me.

"Thank you DJ! That was wowzers!" She said with a cheerful laugh. I stood up and laughed sheepishly.

"Yeah... It sure was..." I said with a blush.

"Well I have a party to host! Smiles to make, frowns to break and sweets to make!" She said, finally back to her old self again. I quickly got up and smiled.

"Can I help bake?"

"I'm glad you asked!"

...

After an hour or two of baking and hanging up decorations, ponies started to flow in to celebrate the dropping of Spike's nuts. Yes, we did really keep that title. For the most part after everyone got over the whole "Spike is big and sexy now" thing it was a normal party. Well as normal as a Pinkie party can be.

"Now Spike just because you're a might grown up don't mean ya have what it takes to take mah hoof wrestling title!" Mac said with a chuckle.

"I'm feeling lucky today! Besides, didn't Princess Celestia take that title from you last year?" Spike reminded with a smirk. Mac's face briefly turned a shade of blue before confidence and testosterone flowed freely once again.

"Ah am gonna take ya down ya overgrown Lizard!" Mac said with narrowed eyes. Spike just chuckled and put his arm on the table.

"I'm warning you ahead of time that if I break your leg, I will not be sorry" Spike claimed.

...

A few moments later I heard a loud smack and Mac was down for the count.

"Big Mag? Are you ok?" Fluttershy asked timidly as she nuzzled his cheek.

"Ah...ah think he actually did it..." Mac said as he held his hoof up nervously.

"Aww let me see..." She said as she examined his hoof. Then she kissed it and Mac smiled.

"Does that feel better?"

"Yes ma'am!'

I shook my head and took a little sip from my drink. I probably should have avoided alcohol all together but I think a little can't hurt. Then again, that phrase has already led to a bunch of disasters as is. For the most part the mares have actually been leaving me alone. I guess most of them found somepony by now or they simply aren't interested anymore. Either way is fine by me, I really don't know what they all find so appealing about me. I mean I'm a total dick sometimes...

...

Ok most times...

...

Fuck it. ALL the time.

I raised my glass high to finish off the rest of my drink and brought it down with a sigh. It was then that I noticed this Unicorn girl watching me from across the room. Through the dancers in the middle of the room I could catch glances of her making her way over to me. I guess I spoke too soon.

She had a drink held in her dark green magic. She was a really dark almost black color and she had a messy green mane and tail. But her most notable feature were here green piercing eyes. Something about those eyes, they're really familer. She stopped next to me and smiled.

"Hey there!" She said with a welcoming grin. I didn't say anything I just responded with a nod, sitting my glass back on the table that I was leaning on.

"You don't talk much do you?" She asked with a smirk.

"Well thats almost entirely dependent on how drunk I am." I said with a shrug. The girl giggled then moved a little closer.

"I guess I should introduce myself. My name is-"

"...Dawning Jade." She finished for me." EVERYPONY knows who you are..." She said with a half lidded expression.

"Princess Celestia's student and the one who held off that Ursa major to save the town..." She said as she looked me up ane down, a faint hunger in her eyes. This girl is giving me this creepy vibe that I swear I've felt before.

"...And also Ponyville's most eligible bachelor." She added with a giggle and a blush.

"Wait seriously? I thought it was mac!" I said with widened eyes as I sat up slightly.

"Well it WAS him. Until he hooked up with Fluttershy and fell off the market." The girl said with another smirk.

"Although that Dragon over there may take your spot at this rate..." The girl said as she looked in the crowd toward Spike. He was awkwardly sitting down eating some cookies while a bunch of mares talked his ears off and tried to get close to him. Heh... Poor guy.

"Better him than me." I said simply. To that the girl tilts her head.

"Don't like all the attention?"

"No. And I honestly don't deserve it either." I stated firmly.

"Well you have my attention..." She said with a smirk. I looked her in the eye again and got this déjà vu feeling.

"Hey have we met before? You look familiar-"

"Nope! Not ever!" She assures me. I shrug and lean back again. The girl looks down at her hooves and I take a deep breath. Then I exclaimed in annoyance when I saw something crawling on the table.

"Stupid bugs" I said as I flick the thing away with my hoof. The girl looks up at me nervously.

"You don't like bugs?" She asked.

"No! I hate them! I want all of them to die!" I growl. The girl blinks a few times and blushes, her ears drooped down and she adopts a helpless expression.

"They're just really REALLY gross. Especially Spiders!" I said, shuddering at the mere thought of them. I look down and see the girl shivering.

"Hey are you ok?" I asked worriedly. She quickly straightened up and cleared her throat.

"Yes of course, I'm fine. I uh, despise insects as well!" She said quickly. I smiled and shook my head. She just rubbed the back of her neck and averted her eyes.

"So what's your name? You know so much about me but I know nothing about you." I ask curiously. The girl hesitates for a moment, her eyes darting around the room.

"Um...uh... Chrysa-CRYSTAL! My Name is crystal!" She stuttered. I raise my brow and nod.

"Ok Crystal. I was going to swing by the drink and snack table, Care to join me?"

"Sure." She said with a blush. I pick up my cup and walk over to the drink and snack table, with Crystal close behind me. I slow my pace slightly when I saw Applejack at the drink bar. Shit! I haven't seen her since she tried to do naughty things to me! Maybe she won't notic-

"Howdy DAWN!" She said with a bitter tone.

Shit.

"Hi Applejack!" I said with a nervous grin. Then Applejack looks behind me and starts staring at Crystal. Then she starts to narrow her eyes and glare daggers at her. Crystal stares back at Applejack, sharing the same look. If looks could kill... Well you know the saying.

"Who's THIS?" Applejack growls.

"Oh. This is Crystal!" I say as the tension between them makes me nervous.

"Hello...Applejack." Crystal says coldly.

"Howdy..." She says back. Holy crap what's even going on here? Applejack looks at me and her stare cuts through me like butter.

"Ah see that ah wasn't good enough for ya..." She says grumpily. I blink a few times then let out a laugh.

"Oh nonono! I've only known her for like, 2 minutes!" I assure. Applejack looks at me with disbelief. Then she grabs a huge mug off the table and downs that shit in one huge gulp. She slammed the mug down and sighed.

"Hmm well I'll be seeing you two lovebirds around." She said with venom as she stomped away. I should REALLY apologize to her for knocking her out sometime.

Now that Applejack was gone I got myself a plate and started piling on all kinds of diabetes inducing sweets. When I was done fixing the plate I backed away from the table so that others could get to it. I selected a particularly delectable looking chocolate chip cookie and licked my lips in anticipation. Then I paused when I saw the funny look crystal gave me.

"What?"

"Oh nothing..."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"Oh I'm not hungry.." She said with a toothy grin. I paused my obnoxious chewing and stared in surprise.

"Really? Everypony comes to a Pinkie party ready to chow down!" I said. Crystal just shrugs and I sigh and shake my head.

"Suit yourself! More for me!" I quip as I raise an amazing looking fudge brownie to my face. I close my eyes and take a bite, only to hear the sound of my teeth snapping together. My eyes shot open and I see a dragon arm from over my shoulder holding MY brownie. I spin around and Spike just casually tosses the thing into his mouth. I stare at him wordlessly, my eyes twitching and a vein popping on my forhead.

"What?" He says, flashing a toothy grin.

"My brownie..."

"Dude you have like 3 more on your plate." He said with a flat brow. I just growl to myself while Crystal giggles next to me.

"Anyway, I came over here because the Princess sent you a letter." He says, pulling it out of his pouch.

"Really? She never sends me letters." I said as he hands it over to me and I grab it with my magic. Yep this is from Tia alright! It has the royal seal on it and everything! I open it up and start reading.

...

"Dear Dawning Jade...

I know it is fairly late right now and you may be busy. But I desperately require your assistance with something. Please hurry to Canterlot whenever you are able, it is a matter of great importance. Come directly to my private chambers, I will be waiting.

Your dearest Friend, Tia."

PS: COME ALONE!

...

"So what's it say? " Spike asks.

"Celestia wants me to go to Canterlot for something. Apprantly its important." I muttered.

"So you're leaving right now?"

"Heh... not until I finish this food!" I said as I raise another brownie to my face. Then I pause when I feel a strong power nearby. I shrug it off as Twilight doing some fancy magic trick to entertainin people or something.

"Hey what happened to that girl who was here a second ago?" Spike said as he scratched his head and looked around.

"I don't know. She just ran off for some reason, but here comes Pinkie!" I say, shoving another brownie into my mouth.

"Hey Derrick! Princess Luna is here and she's looking for you!" She said with a grin. My heart stops and I almost choke. I take a quick peek behind her and I see none other than Princess Luna searching the crowd for me. I really should pay attention whenever I sense magic...

Crap.

"I'm taking this to go!" I said as I grip my plate of food tightly and dive out of the nearest window, Mac's warning driving my actions.

...

"What do you think that was about?" Spike asks, completely puzzled.

"I have no idea! " Pinkie said with a shrug and a giggle. Then she bounced off somewhere. Spike folded his arms and stood there in confusion. Then Luna suddenly trotted up to him.

"Greetings young dragon!" Luna said with a smile as she met eyes with Spike. Spike just blushed and rubbed his forehead.

"Oh hi Princess! Gosh, we're like the same height now..." He muttered.

"Yes it appears so..." She says, slightly startled. They both stared at each other for a few seconds in silence, a grin slowly forming on their faces. Then Luna blinked and looked down, clearing her throat.

"I came to ask if you've seen Derrick around. I felt his power a few moments ago." She explained. Spike hesitated for a few moments. Judging from how fast DJ hopped out of the window, he REALLY wants to avoid her for some reason. Considering its the season and everything he had a small clue why. He was stuck between telling her where he went or not telling her.

A decision easily made when he remembered DJ's obnoxious laughing about the party title.

"He went to Canterlot." He said plainly. Luna looked slightly forlorn at that. She was fairly certain she knew why her sister called him there so late.

"Is something wrong?" Spike asked. Breaking Luna's train of thought.

"Oh... Nothing... We...I was just thinking." Luna said, shaking her head.

"Ok thats good....thinking is good!" Spike said, as he tapped his front claw fingers together awkwardly.

"So you have reached dragon maturity?" Luna asked bluntly making Spike blush.

"Yep" he responds with a nervous laugh.

"I see" Luna says as a faint blush forms.

"So what are you going to do now Princess, now that Derrick is...busy?" Spike asks carefully.

"Well I was going to... never mind. I suppose I will stay here for now." Luna says, giving Spike a hopeful smile. His eyes darted around, despritly searching for something to keep the conversation going.

"Um...so... Have you tried the brownies?"

"No I'm afraid I haven't yet. I could go for a few actually..."

"Sweet!"

...

I have never jumped out of a window with a plate of epic food, suspended in my magic that quickly in my entire life. All I know is, for whatever reason Luna isn't chasing me. I guess it doesn't matter now, because I escaped with the food!

I wonder what Tia wants? Maybe her or Doctor Bright discovered something about my chaos magic? Maybe she even found a way of sending me back? Hmm... if that was the case, then I'm not sure how I would feel about that.

I'm coming up to Canterlot now. I swear every time I take this flight it gets easier. I should time myself next time. Now I get to decide which entrance I want to take. Wait, she did say go directly to her room so I guess I'll land on the balcony.

I transformed into my human form and landed gently in one swift movement. I'm getting better at the not crashing thing!

The balcony door was cracked so I opened it wider and walked inside. It was kinda dark but still bright enough to see everything well enough. There was no sign of Tia but I could feel her presence nearby. So I shrugged and walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge and continued eating. It wasn't long before Celestia came out of the bathroom.

"Ah you're here!" She said with a smile. Her magneta orbs locked onto me. I set the plate down next to me and stood up.

"So what happened? Something wrong with my seal? Something evil threating Equestria? Someone died?" I ask with a serious face. Celestia shakes her head and giggles.

"Oh none of those things stud..." She said with narrowed eyes. I sighed in relief and sat back down.

Then it clicked in my head.

Stud?

"Some interesting information has been passed onto me..." She said as she started to step toward me. What the hell? She's giving me that look! That same look Pinkie and Applejack got before they...

...

Uh oh...

"Ok.. What kind of information?" I said with a nervous smile, reaching for a brownie.

"My sister told me something about a certain human.." She said with a half lidded smirk that thrilled me for some reason. However I was not prepared for...whatever this is.

"Whatever it was, I didn't do it." I muttered as calmly as I could. I took a bite out of the Brownie and closed my eyes. When I opened them Celestia went from a few feet away to a few inches. I jumped and accidentally tossed the brownie into the air. Celestia caught it with her teeth and ate it with one swift delecate motion.

"Delicious." She said with a seductive voice. Then she did this long exaggerated lick of her lips.

"You know I made that brownie right?" I pointed out.

"..."

*POOF*

Celestia's angel like wings extend and become stiff. My cheeks felt hotter and I drop of sweat dropped down my forehead.

"Have you been drinking Celie? You're acting funny..."

"Not at all. I'm completely sober.." She says, edging closer. The hunger in her eyes got more intense with every step she took. I swallowed hard and my mind raced.

"What's the matter stud? You look nervous.." She said as she drew closer. I started to slowly crawl backward towards the back of the bed. Why does this always happen to me?

"Oh I'm just worried about that urgent matter that I had to attend to."

"We'll you could start by attending to me." She cooed. My heart stopped and my cheeks turned redder than tomatoes. Then in one swift movement she pinned me to the bed on my back. She leaned in really close.

"Tia..." I breathed as I adopted a similar half lidded expression as I her. My willpower to resist is starting to kick the bucket.

"Do you want to know what Luna told me?" She asked as she gently nuzzled my cheek. I nodded slowly and she whispered in my ear.

"She told me about your dreams, the fantasies you keep having..." She whispered into my ear, her voice smooth like silk. I immediately tensed up and started to sweat. I only have fantasies about one pony in particular, who happens to be draped over me right now. Some of them were pretty detailed...

"She...she did?"

"Yes Derrick. She told me EVERYTHING." She said with a smirk. I swallowed nervously and felt something moving my hands.

"This was very prominent in your fantasies.." She said as she moved my hands to her backside. I'm getting the worst case of déjà vu right now, except this time I DID squeeze... Very tightly... With both hands. And IT was pretty damn squeezable, more so then I would have ever thought from just looking.

Celestia blushed, moaning and shivering to my touch. Then she looked deeply into my eyes.

"Let's recreate your fantasies Derrick..." She told me as she brought her lips closer.

"And mine..." She added before kissing me passionately.

Author's Notes:

Notes: There will not be lemons next chapter, so hush!

This took forever because I got my first case of really bad writer's block. Of course spring alergies, lazyness, school and Socializing didn't help things But here it is. To those of you that comment on my story using guest accounts (fanfiction). Don't ask me something like "when is the next chapter coming out?" Or anything for that matter because I can't reply! And I'm too lazy to hunt people's names down and respond in this section.

To everyone else. Check out my blog on fimfiction for any news that concerns me or my stories. (I have a picture of teen/grown up spike there ^.^)

Also there are apprantly people out there who don't read author notes. T_T

I don't know who I want to ship with Spike yet so I'm leaving it open. Feel free to suggest!
I think I made it fairly obvious who crystal really was so keep that in mind.

I think next Im going to try to make a one shot story I was thinking about writing more of a reality. All I'm going to say is the one I have in mind isn't about DJ, it will be about an OC pony. (Basically no Humans?). It will be a comedy and probably rated E or T, the rest is uncertain. Ill tell you more on my blog soon.