Act 6 part 3: Everyone rutts

I woke up feeling a little sore, sweaty, and like I ran a marathon.

What the hell did I do yesterday?

I tried getting up before quickly realizing where I was, Celestia's bed, laying right on top of her. Her wings were snuggly wrapped around my body and she was out cold. Her face was a light shade of red, covered in sweat...OUR sweat.

Oh. That explains a lot. I finally did it didn't I?

I slowly and carefully rolled off of her, luckily she doesn't have Luna's death grip. I sat up in bed and stretched. It's pretty early considering the sun is completly down, but its Tia's job to raise the damn thing, so Should I wake her up? Hm, nah let me shower first, I feel all sticky and uncomfortable. It's not like she's done it every day without fail (as far as I know) before I was here so I won't be her alarm clock. I grabbed my clothes and walked into the bathroom to shower. All I could think about was last night... And how I want many...many... more nights like it. Is that a bad thing? Probably. Do I care? Nope. I'm fully converted now... No shame in my game.

When I got out I stared at myself in the mirror. I'm starting to look a little shaggy now, I should probably shave soon. I'm going to leave my hair the way it is, until it either gets in my face, or extends past my neck. Then again, Maybe I should just cut it down now and get it over with?

As I was studying myself in the mirror, I noticed something out of place behind me. By the time I actually turned to look it grabbed me by the throat.

" *Gak!* what? " I struggled, as a tall figure lifted me high into the air. I stared down at it in horror, quickly realizing that it was comprised of like 10 different animals. It's face had yellow eyes with red pupils that seemed to pierce my very soul.

"Discord?!" I exclaimed in shock, recognizing him now. He looked up at me and with a growl he slammed me painfully against the wall so hard, it cracked.

"I didn't send you here to screw her! SHE'S MINE! YOU CAN HAVE HER SISTER!!!" he screamed at me.

"What are you *Gurk!* talking about??" I asked In confusion.

"You better start doing what I sent you here for...or else..." He said crypticly. Then in a flash of pain, everything seemed to reset and I was back to watching myself in the mirror.

What the hell just happened?! The wall isn't broken anymore, which tells me it wasn't real. I nervously rubbed my throat and shivered, imagining Discord's cold bird like fingers wrapped around my neck. What was he talking about anyway?

I put both my hands on the sink and lowered my head a bit. Tia and I already discussed some of the side effects of chaos magic; hallucinations, so that was simply the first one. I took a deep breath and calmed myself a bit. Nothing to worry about... It meant nothing... Just my magic being crazy and chaotic and what not.

I put on the rest of my clothes and stretched contently. I came out of the bathroom and noticed Tia was still asleep. I don't think I've ever really seen her sleeping because she always seems to wake up after a couple seconds. She looks so...adorable! Then again, I have yet to honestly see a pony that isn't adorable in their own way. I stood next to her and smiled, seeing her just gets me in a good mood!

I was about to walk away, when white hooves suddenly wrapped around me and snatched me back toward the bed. She quickly flipped me over and kissed me deeply, which I wasn't expecting from someone who was knocked out a few moments ago. When we finally pulled away from each other she smiled, nuzzling me affectionately. Kissing her was honestly something I planned to avoid, considering what I put in her mouth last n-uh just forget it.

"Good morning, my friend..." She said, making me raise my brow.

"Friend?" I say with a blank look.

"Yes...friend.." She repeated.

"Huh? so we're not, together?" I ask carefully.

"Well...we can be...." Celestia said, blushing and drooping her ears.

"I mean, I'm honestly good either way." I said with a shrug.

"There would be some things to deal with if we were, truly together." She muttered with uncertainty.

"Like?"

"Well first off, you would have to get rid of your false personas."

"So no more Dawn?"

"Yes, If everypony knew I was dating, I would want them to know that I was dating the real you, which is another problem in itself." She said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I'm not sure how everyone would react to their leader dating a tall, shapshifting, not pony from another dimension." I said with a nervous smile.

"Leaders, Luna wants a slice of the pie too." She added as she idly rubbed my cheek.

"Oh, she was serious about you girls sharing everything huh?" I said with a chuckle. Not gonna lie, I want a slice of Luna's pie too.

"Yes. I'm not entirely sure how things would work with the three of us, Especially if everypony knew." She said, trailng of with a sad expression. I rubbed my hand through her hair and smirked.

"Like I said, I'm good either way, as long as there are more nights like last night." I said with a half lidded expression. Celestia smirked and gave me bedroom eyes.

"Well I'm sure we can both agree on that." She said suggestively. I was about to say something along the lines of "we can make it a morning thing too" when my stomach decided to sing the song of its people, making me roll my eyes. Celestia giggled and I rolled off of her.

" I must prepare for the day ahead, why don't you go to the dining hall and get something to eat?" She suggested as she got up from the bed and stretched. I gave her a blank look.

"I don't have any bits with m-" I started to say before she shushed me with her wingtip.

"Don't worry about paying for anything here...ever. Got it?" she said with a serious expression. I blinked a few times and nodded sheepishly. She removed her wing and smirked.

"Besides. Your performance last night was adequate payment." She said as she tickled my cheek with her tail making me blush. Then she walked away toward the bathroom with a noticeable pep in her step.

That ASS though...

I snapped out of it and got up off the bed, taking a deep breath. I think I'm really starting to like it here in Equest-

"DERRICK!!!" Tia yelled from the bathroom. Adrenaline shot through me and I rushed toward it, with my magic ready. When I got to the door i saw her with a forlorn expression.

"What's wrong Tia??" I demanded.

"You left the toilet seat up!" She pouted with a sad tone, making me smack my forhead at mach 2.

"Can't you just put it... *sigh* " I grumpled as I walked over to the seat and carefully put it down. "There, are you happy now?" I ask as I fold my arms. She beamed and nuzzled my cheek.

"Thank you honey- I mean derrick!" She said with a nervous smile. She then grabbed me with her magic and almost threw me out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind me firmly. Then a moment later I heard the telltale sound of the toilet seat being lifted again, making me grumble.

Sometimes I wonder about that girl.

I left the room and started walking toward the dining hall. As I turned a corner I bumped right into Princess Luna. But because fuck you I'm an alicorn I got knocked flat on my ass while she just stood there unaffected with a startled expression.

"Oh Derrick I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" She asked as she stood me upright with her magic. Normally I would have probably cussed up a storm, but today I felt different.

" Good morning Luna!" I beamed. Then I squeezed her tightly, lifting her up and kissing her face all over. She blushed and started giggling.

"What has gotten you in such a good mood?" She asked, nuzzling me.

"Oh I'm just happy to see you Lulu!" I said warmly.

"Really? Usually you greet me with the sarcasm." She said as she gave me a suspicious look. I said nothing and just gave her a sincere smile. I saw her nose twitch and her eyes widened. She came over to me and started sniffing me, her clueless expression shifted to a knowing smirk. Shit, she knows doesn't she?

"Somepony was busy last night." She said with a smug grin.

"Um...I have no clue what you're talking about.."

"Her stench is all over you!"

"But I took a shower!"

"One does not simply ,wash off, a mare's essence like that."

"*sniff* I don't even smell anything!"

"It doesn't matter, I already know."

"Yeah..." I said, sighing in defeat. Luna's stern look changed to curiosity.

"So how was it? You didn't hurt her did you?" She started asking. I laughed nervously and pushed her muzzle away.

"Yeah...too hungry to talk, go ask her yourself or something." I said as I slowly walked away.

"Fine we will, but thy will see us tonight." She said crypticly, making me pause and shiver. According to Mac, that's not something I should look forward to.

...

After walking aimlessly for a bit I finally made it to the dining hall. Shining was there at the table and he waved me over. So I went and sat next to him.

"Morning! What are you doing here?" He asked, greeting me with a brohoof.

"Uh...I was on my way to fuck your bitch?" I joke. Shining laughs at first, before slowly frowning.

"Hey I'm kidding dude."

"I know!" He said with a light chuckle. Then he started looking at me suspiciously.

"Seriously... What ARE you doing here?" He asked again.

"To get something to eat?"

"No, I mean at the castle."

"Oh..."

"Well?"

"Celestia needed something from me."

"Oh I see..." Shining said with a smug grin.

"Hey not like that man!" I say with a frown.

"Whatever you say!" Shining said with a shit eating grin that made me want to strangle him. I frowned and started to rub my chin.

"Hey you're starting to get really grizzly." Shining muttered as he pointed to my face. I frowned and pointed my hand back at him.

"Oh yeah? What about you? Keep that stach up and, you'll look like a young version of Fancy Pants!" I shot back, making him frown and rub his chin.

"OK ok...we BOTH need to shave soon!" Shining admitted, making us both laugh. Just then Cadence entered the room with a warm smile. She came over to say hi to me but just as she opened her mouth, her nose twitched. Oh for crying out loud, please don't say anything.

"*Gasp* Derrick! You actually did it?!" She exclaimed loudly. She pulled me closer and started sniffing me more. I turned to Shining with a fed up look, and he just watched in confusion.

"Oh wow you DID finally do it! How was it? Did she hurt you?" Cadence asked, excitedly sitting next to me. Shining's shit eating grin returned with a vengeance and he slammed his hoof on the table.

"I KNEW IT!" he blurted, pointing a hoove at me acussingly.

"God dammit Cadence..." I whispered as I slammed my head on the table.

"That explains all the yelling and screaming I heard last night..." Cadence said, making Shining bust out laughing.

"Oh my gosh she must have broken you!" He said with an obnoxious laugh.

"Actually honey, Derrick wasn't the one screaming..." Cadence corrected. Shining looked at me and pat my back with a proud smirk.

" Wow, I didn't know you had it in you DJ!" Shining said.

"We're not discussing this shit anymore, you nosey assholes!" I barked, blushing furiously.

"Aww... Was it your first time?" Cadence teased, Shining laughed harder and I grumbled.

"Heck no!"

"Really? This wasn't the first time?!" Shining said in shock.

"First time with a pony..." I muttered.

"Oh, how do they compare?" Cadence asked.

"What?"

"Mares and human females?"

"Wha...IM NOT TELLING YOU!" I blurted again, making Shining howl with laughter.

"I'm sorry, its just that I'm really excited for you both! *sniff* hm...I smell My other aunt too! Did she join in on the fun?"

"Just kill me now..." I said. Rolling my eyes in annoyance and slamming my head on the table again.

...

The waiter came and took our orders. I just ended up getting pancakes and eggs. Cadence kept trying to find out about last night, so I had to kindly tell her to fuck off.... Which didn't work that well. She did give up eventually when she realized I wasn't going to budge. After that we just talked about random stuff until I was done. When I got up and left, Shining followed me out.

"You're not going to ask about last night again are you?" I ask suspiciously.

"What? No. I just wanted to know if you were busy later." He asked innocently.

"No. Why?"

"Me and the guys were planning to hangout later, drinks are on me!"

"Ok... What time?"

...

"Come on DJ! We're gonna be late!"

"Alright I'm coming Spike!" I called after him. We were on our way to Surger Cube Corner to hang out with Shining and the others.

"What's the rush for?" I asked.

"I want to be able to pick a good seat at the table!"

"But they're all basically the same! I muttered in annoyance as I flew faster to catch up to him.

"You wouldn't understand!" Spike claimed as we flew around back, Allowing me to transform into Dawn.

"Whatever Spyro, just go in!" I said as we swung around the building and walked inside. Spike gave me this look, which only served to remind me that he doesn't actually know who the fuck Spyro is. We saw Shining and the others sitting at this circular table and with him were Mac, Soarin, Lightning and Flash. I sat down inbetween Mac and Soarin while Spike sat in between Lightning and Flash.

"Sup dudes!" Spike said as he sat down. They all said various forms of greeting as the waiter came over.

"What can I get you boys?" A familier voice said. Oh right, Pinkie works here...fuck.

"Um do you have any gems?" Spike asked hopefully.

"Sorry but no." Pinkie said with a sad face. Spike frowned and folded his arms.

"Fine I'll have the special." He said with a defeated sigh.

"Me too." Flash said.

"Ah think I'm with them." Mac said.

"Sign me up partner!" Lightning said.

"Whatever. I'll take it." I agree.

"OK that sounds good to me!" Shining said with a smirk. The special is pretty inexpensive so lucky for him that we all got it, well except Soarin, who looks like he's still deciding. He's definitely the heavy eater after all.

"Actually, I think I'll have your Super Duper Bursting Bombastic Mega Ultimate Ultra Amazing Infinity cake!" He said in one breath, making us all stare at him In confusion. Most of us have been here enough times to know the menu, but I've never heard of that. Shining picked up a menu and started sweating.

"Ooo you want the Super Duper Bursting Bombastic Mega Ultimate Ultra Amazing Infinity cake? Aka the Mmm 2.0? Nopony has ordered that besides Prince Celestia!" Pinkie said, her eyes sparkling.

"Uh...Soarin? Are you sure you want that?" Shining asked shakingly.

"What's the matter cap, your wallet coughing?" I joke.

"Okie doki! Please give us three to five business days to deliver!" Pinkie said. Soarin adopted a flat browed expression.

"Yeah...no I can't wait 3 days, just get me the special too." Soarin said with a shake of his head. Shining let out a huge breath that made me snicker.

"OK! So that's a special and a special and a special and special and a special *Breath* and a special and a special! Is that all you'll be having?" Pinkie asked.

"YES!" Shining answered for us all. Pinkie nodded and walk.... I mean bounced away.

"Is your salary not up to the challenge cap?" I quip.

"Normally I wouldn't even flinch, but I've had to pay an leg and a leg for the preparations." Shining muttered.

"What preparations" I ask, getting annoyed that he didn't just say what they were in the first place so I wouldn't have to ask.

"For my wedding next week!" He announced proudly. Ah that would make any guy's wallet choke.

"Oh well then congrats!" I said with a smile.

"Finally tyin the knot partner?" Mac said with a smirk. Shining nodded and blushed slightly. We all started to laugh.

"Ha ha laugh it up." He muttered rolling his eyes. When we settled down again he cleared his throat." Anyway, I called you guys here to hang out again before I get too busy too. " He explained. We all nodded and uttered various forms of acknowledgement.

"So what the hell is the special anyway?" I asked.

"A beer and a big slice of cake." Lightning answered.

"Huh. I can live with that!" I replied with a content smile.

"What flavor is the cake?" Spike wondered.

"It's a surprise." Shining said.

"I hate surprises." I muttered as I folded my hooves in front of me. Not even 2 Seconds later the pink menace was upon me.

"Aww why not?" Pinkie suddenly asked, standing next to me with the food on a large tray. I yelped and almost fell out of my seat, making everyone lose their shit.

"Oops did I scare ya?"

"Just pass me the beer please."

...

So we ate, drank and were some happy motherfuckers. But like any long lasting sausage fest, the subject inevitably always leads to sex. After all it is mating season right?

"So Mac...how did it go with...fluttershy?" I asked. Mac immediately shrank in his seat and started to sweat.

"Ah...ah don't wanna talk about it..."

"Why not? You got to hear my stories!" Soarin complained.

"Yeah, because we totally wanted to hear about you getting some. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY." Spike muttered sarcastically.

"Don't hate! Did you even get action yet scales?" Soarin teased. Spike yelped and nervously played with his claws.

"Uh...that's classified..." He said with a blush.

"Pfft... Probably because you didn't!" Soarin said with a smug grin. Spike balled his fists up and frowned.

"You grew balls dude, ya gotta use them!" Soarin muttered, shaking his head in disappointment.

"I did...." Spike hissed.

"Ok...on who?" Soarin asked.

"Y'all leave the boy alone! Y'all know exactly who anyhow.." Mac grumbled.

"Rarity." Lightning coughed. Spike just blushed and took another bite of cake.

"How the hell did that go? Did you walk in like 'I need a suit oh and also Fuck me." I joked.

"It was actually the other way around, but OK.." Spike said honestly, making us all laugh.

"Mac I didn't forget about you!" I said switching the conversation back to him.

"Ok ok I'll tell ya something." He said, finally giving in. Well all sat quietly to hear.

"I went to Fluttershy's house one day and she was really... Assertive about what she wanted."

"How assertive? Rainbow's already pretty assertive." Lightning asked.

"Like, lock the doors and windows, tie ya to a bed assertive.." Mac said, shuddering at the memories. I slammed my hoof on the table and laughed.

"I totally called it!" I said triumphantly.

"That mare has a side ah ain't sure I wanna see again." Mac admitted. He started to shiver and his ears dropped down.

"Reminds me of Rainbow... But she didn't need chains." Lightning muttered. Shining rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't see anything horrible about being tied to a bed..." He said plainly.

"We can't all be like you and Cadence dude." I commented.

"Yeah I bet you LOVE those chains!" Soarin quipped.

"Not as much as he loves being the 'bad' student!" I added. Shining sat emotionless while the rest of us laughed our asses off.

"Oh yeah? What about YOU???" Shining said, pointing an accusing hoof at me. Oh no....oh nonono. Please don't throw me under the bu-

"How was your sleepover with Celie?" He asked with a shit eating grin.

Just play it off. Tell them you have no idea what he's talking about, or who Celie is.

"...I mean....it was aight.." I said with a shrug. Everyone's eyes at the table were the size of figurative dinner plates and I slammed my head on the table.

Brain you had ONE fucking job.

"So you and the Princess...." Lightning said trailng off, looking like his brain leaked out of his ears.

"What was it like dude?" Soarin asked, his eyes glowing with curiosity.

"Dude we didn't even-"

"Don't lie Derrick. Cadence heard her screaming last night." Shining quipped.

"You had her SCREAMING?" Spike exclaimed.

"Wow... Shes like....a freaking goddess, never knew you had it in you DJ!" Soarin said proudly, patting my back. I blushed furiously and glared at Shining.

"You fucking snitch!"

"Hey! I couldn't let you lie to them, besides...you should feel accomplished!" He said with a smirk.

"I promise you I'm going to crash your wedding you fuck!"

"Yeah ...good luck with that." shining muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"Did she break anything partner?" Mac asked.

"No not really..." I answered, nervously taking another sip of my drink.

"Well ah know that Luna might.." He said crypticly. Speaking of Luna... I swear I can feel her nearby. Nah, that's probably just my drunk brain playing games with me.

"I heard she grinded your pelvis to dust!" Soarin said, erupting with laughter.

"Yeah...something like that." He admitted, taking a sip of his drink then chuckling too himself.

"That fancy magic sure did work wonders! I get jealous of y'all sometimes." He added.

"Well you arent missing much, its neat and all but it still pisses me off because of how unexplainable it is." I grumbled.

"Um, Twilight would disagree with that statement." Spike muttered. Then he looked behind me and smiled. "Hi Princess Luna!" He said, waving behind me. I turned around and saw no one there. I gave Spike this wtf look and he just snickered.

Moments later dark blue hoofs suddenly wrapped around me neck and said Princess kissed my cheek.

"Hello Derrick!" She said with a cheerful giggle.

"Oh hey there Luna!" I squeaked nervously. Everyone at the table struggled to hold in their laughs, they all looked like their heads were going to explode except for Mac who just looked concerned.

"So what are you all talking about?" Luna asked as she casually took a sip of my drink. Well not a sip more like she devoured it.

"You know... Guys night out... Just chilling..." I muttered, trying my best to stay calm.

"Uh huh. Does anypony mind if I steal him for the night?" Luna asked, looking around the table.

Please say yes please say y-

"Nnnoope!"

"Nu uh"!

"Of course not!"

"No your highness!"

"Go ahead!"

"No ma'am!"

The guys have betrayed me!

"Excellent! Let us go now!" Luna said as she pranced off happily. I stared death at all the guys at the table, who were laughing their asses off except Mac who stayed silent.

"Well go on lover boy!" Spike said.

"Don't keep a mare waiting!" Soarin laughed.

"Mistress gave ya an order partner!" Lightning quipped.

"Yep you should hurry!" Flash suggested.

"You're just swimming in it now aren't you?" Shining said.

Mac gave me a sympathetic look as he sadly pat my back.

"Good luck....DEAREST PRINCE!" he blurted as he exploded into laughter. Damn and I thought he cared for a minute there.

"Fuck you guys." I muttered as I followed Luna out, dreading the future.

...

"So Flash how'd it go with Twilight?" Spike asked making Shining's ears twitch.

"Oh it was annoying! She spent so much time planning it out that we barely had time to actually bu-"

"HOW DID WHAT GO WITH TWILGHT?" Shining demanded as his horn charged up and he snorted angrily.

"Uh oh..."

...

"So where are we going again?" I asked as I struggled to keep up with the moon Princess.

"My sister and I must recast the seal, it is starting to weaken." She explained.

"Uh huh...that's great and all, but Canterlot is THAT way..." I say, pointing in the opposite direction.

"You're correct." Luna said with a mischievous smile before completely vanishing in a blue light.

"Wait what the he-" I tried to say before Luna suddenly tackled me from behind and slammed me into the nearest cloud. I landed softly on my back and sat up. Luna landed on the edge giving me an intense stare of pure unadulterated lust.

I'm fucked.

"But... I thought you had to recaste the seal?" I stuttered.

"Oh we will...after I've had my way with you." She said with a creepy smile.

"Huh?" I say, my eyes the size of figurative dinner plates.

"For the next hour or however long it takes for you to culminate, you belong to me!" She decreed. The second I tried to bail she pinned me down effortlessly with her hooves.

"What about that bet you and your sister made?" I asked hopefully.

"Screw the bet!" Luna shouted.

"Um...I'm not sure I like we're this is going..."

"I want your penis Derrick, I NEED you in me!" She said with a serious tone. Then she turned around and presented her delectable fat cheeks too me.

"Actually I do like we're this is go-" I tried to say but I was interrupted by Luna essentially sitting on my face.

"Put thine tounge to work while we unsheath our prize!" Luna ordered as she grabbed my legs.

Yep... literally fucked.

Author's Notes:

Notes: sorry I fell off the earth, I graduated and what not and had stuff going on. Chapter progress will be posted on my page/ profile from now on.

The missing scene at the end of act 6 part 2 should be posted around the time that I post this or a bit later. It goes by the name of "DJ's lemons" and will also contain the missing scene that comes after this chapter(eventually). I did this because so many wanted me to write it but I didn't want it in the main story because I already promised no lemons. So both parties should be happy now!

In other things the next act will hopefully be the most exciting because its going to be the royal wedding! With a twist!!! Well... A few twists actually but get ready!

I basically had to write 2 chapters plus another bonus one of a dark DJ story I'm working on so don't kill me if I don't post for a while again. It is summer after all...