Act 5 part 4: Return

"Remind me why I got on this train again?" I ask with a furrowed brow, as I looked around the cabin that Lightning and I were in. It was a pretty simple room, just two somewhat comfortable chairs with a table in the center, one window and a door.

"I recken you said that you wanted to take your sweet time going back to Ponyville. So I suggested the train..."

"Oh...right..." I muttered with a chuckle. I was lazily stretched out on my chair while Lighting was leaning back and gazing out the window on the opposite side.

"Well...we've go about an hour and a half... What do you reckon we do?" Lightning asked as he tapped the table to get my attention.

"I dunno...I guess I'll finish that explanation or something..." I muttered.

"Alright.... shoot"

...

"...So long story short, I have the ability to transform, and I also have magic from the strongest Alicorn Princess.."

"Ah still find it hard ta believe... What can you turn into?"

"So far I've only tried ponies.... I'm not sure about the limits yet.."

"I imagine you would make a mighty fine spy, because you can transform and...blend in"

"Maybe... I could see myself being captured real quick though.." I said with a shrug. We fell silent for a few minutes then I looked at the watch on Lightning's neck. Why the hell does he have a watch around his neck anyway?

"Hey...what's with the watch dude?" I ask curiously. Lightning blinked a few times then started to look forlorn.

"Well... A few years ago my grandpa gave me this here watch. He told me to always keep it with me, and that it would always point to mah heart..."

"Really? That sounds a little cheesy... No offense."

"Heh... Well to be honest with ya partner, I thought it was cheesy too at first. But..."

"But?"

"Low and behold, it actually DOES point to mah heart..."

" Wait really? " I said with a twitch of my ears. Lightning demonstrated by briefly removing the watch, laying it flat on the table and sure enough the minute hand moved and pointed at him. He slid the watch around a little bit and regardless of where it was, it still pointed straight to him.

"Ok...that's pretty neat..."

"Yeah..... My uncle tried to tell me something else about the watch...but he died before he could..." Lightning said sadly as he put the watch back on his neck. Well that sucks... I feel sorry for the guy. He looked down and sighed, then he looked back up with a faint smile. I could tell he was holding back tears.

"But...that was a long time ago... The watch obviously don't work no more....but ah do hear it tick from time to time..." He said still looking down. Then he seemed to perk up suddenly as he leaned forward and put his hooves on the table.

"So! Where do ya live in Ponyville?" He asked with a smile.

"With Twilight..." I muttered.

"Woah woah woah... Really? You live with THE Twilight Sparkle? And that Guy who saved the Town?

" No... just Twilight.... "

"But what about the guy who saved the town?"

"I AM the guy that saved the town!"

*zap*

"..."

"See?"

"Oh....ah get it now.."

"Yeah... Don't fucking tell a soul..."

"Who knows about this again?" Lightning asked with a raised brow.

"The Princesses, any Royal guard including you, Twilight and her friends...."

"The other elements of harmony? You know them too??"

"Unfortunately... yes I do know them..."

"What are they like?"

"Twilight is pretty cool, but she gets weird sometimes. Rarity is annoying, especially when she talks about fashion. Applejack is alright, as long as she doesn't break my arm. Pinkie is a hit or miss, sometimes fun, sometimes massive headache. Rainbow's gargantuan ego prevents me from liking her and Fluttershy doesn't say enough for me to form an opinion if her." I muttered.

"Hmm...that doesn't seem right..." Lightning said with a light frown.

"Trust me...that's all of them in a nutshell..." I said with a chuckle.

"You'd think the elements of harmony would be more...harmonic..."

*screech*

"Well stick around... You can probably meet some of them for yourself!" I said as I glanced out the window. The train just stopped in Ponyville.

"Oh boy... Ah can't wait..." Lightning said sarcastically. I laughed as we got up and exited the train.

"Good ol Ponyville!" Lightning said as he stretched and smiled wide.

" Whatever dude..." I said with a roll of my eyes as we left the train station. We walked down the streetand I recognized a certain fashionista, and unfortunately for me said fashionista recognized me....immediately.

"Why hello darling!" She said as she rushed up and proceeded to hug the breath out of me. Before I could say anything mean to get her to let me go, two very fancy looking ponies walked up to her.

"Hmm... You didn't tell me you were...attached Rarity..." Said a gentleman Unicorn who looked like Shining armor if you throw on a few years and a moustache. She loosened her death grip, turned and smiled, leaving a forearm wrapped around my neck.

"Oh no no... This is my....um.... friend, Dawning Jade!" She said with a nervous smile, as she waved her hoof around, searching for the right words. Heh... she knows damn well we're not attached. Hell its even a stretch that we're friends in the first place!

"Ah yes.. the young colt who saved Ponyville a few days ago... I've heard a lot about you..." The guy said as he walked up to me and stuck his hoof out.

"I am Fancy Pants, it is a pleasure to finally meet you!" He said with a smile.

"..."

You don't know how much willpower I had to exert to keep myself from laughing. The best part about this guy's name is the fact that he is not even wearing any pants whatsoever. I hesitated but still gave his hoof a firm shake.....somehow, pony hooves still confuse me.

"Uh...nice to meet you too... Fancy.." I said with a sheepish grin. My smile faded when I saw the mare next to him. I swear to god she looks just like Celestia... if you add some height, multicolored flowing hair, and wings. I'm fairly sure that if Equestria had super models then she would definitely be one. She looked me up and down and smiled.

"Hé là!" She said with a flutter of her eyes. The hell? Is that...French?

"This is my good friend Fleur Dis Lee! She's heard so much about Rarity's dresses that she just had to see them herself!" Fancy said.

"Oh Darling... There not THAT good..." Rarity said with a blush.

"Don't be modest dear! They are the best and finest in Equestria!" Fancy announced, looking slightly offended. Then everyone looked at Lighting, who was just sitting there whistling.

"Dawn? Who is this handsome fellow?" Rarity asked curiously.

"Mah name is Lightning Lyric, but you can just call me Lightning Ma'am..." He said politely.

"A pleasure to meet you!" She said with a warm smile.

"Hello to you as well!" Fancy said with a nod.

"‎enchanté" Fleur said was a grin. Lightning and I looked at each other in confusion.

"I'm afraid they don't understand you dear..." Fancy said, giving her a slight nudge.

"Oh...sorry...I forget..." Fleur said with a blush. We all shared brief laughter before Fancy sighed and his smile faded.

"I'm afraid this little meeting must be cut short... " he he muttered.

"Why darling?" Rarity asked curiously.

"Our train..." Fleur muttered, pointing at the station behind us.

"Well Rarity... Dawn...Lightning... I bid you farewell for now..." Fancy said as he started walking away. Fleur turned to me then smiled.

"vous êtes un joli une" she said kindly then she started walking away toward Fancy.

"..."

"I didn't catch any of that..."

"I believe she called you cute..." Rarity said with uncertainty. I immediately deadpanned, why can't any of these mares ever think I'm ugly? Or can can they at least like the guy next to me more? Fleur turned around again.

" Vous regardez avec plaisir à rutt" she said with a wink before entering the train station with Fancy.

"..."

"Ok...what about that time?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Sorry...I didn't quite catch what she said that time..." Rarity said with a nervous smile. Something tells me she knows EXACTLY what she said.

"All ah heard in that sentence was RUTT....so..." Lightning said with a smug grin as he tapped my side. Great.... Add her onto the list of girls who want me to bang them. Unfortunately for me that list only seems to increase each day.

Now that the fancy ponies were gone it seemed like a fucking switch went off in Rarity's head.

"Where in the world were you!!?" She blurted in my face, scaring the crap out of me and stunning Lightning.

"Wh...what?"

"Where were you!?"

"When?"

"Yesterday! You missed the Nightmare Night celebration!"

"So?"

"Then Twilight told me you didn't come home yesterday either! We were worried sick!"

"Uh...and your point i-"

"So what were you doing yesterday that was so important that you couldn't join us in the celebration?"

"Stuff..."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah... stuff..."

"And what stuff would that be?"

"Uh....magic stuff....with the Princess..."

"Oh... I see...." Rarity said as she started smiling mischievously and snickering.

"What?" I ask with a flat brow.

"Oh nothing... Its just.... I noticed you've been awfully close to the princess lately..." She said with a snicker.

"Wh...what do you mean by that?!" I ask with rapidly reddening cheeks.

"Nothing Darling... its just if I didn't know any better I'd think you two were in a relationship..." She said with a giggle. My ears drooped down and Lightning started looking at me suspiciously.

"Well I'm afraid I must go gentlecolts... I'll see you around perhaps?" Rarity said as she waved good bye and walked away, still giggling to herself. Now it was just Lighting and I standing in the middle of the street.

"So those are some interesting claims she made partner..." He said with a nudge.

"Yeah.... Claims...." I said nervously. Then Lightning's eyes widened.

"Are they true???" He demanded.

"No....yes....its complicated..." I muttered as I looked down and idly scrapped my hoof on the ground in a circle.

"Are you telling me you're...involved with the Princess?" Lightning said with more surprise.

"Kinda..." I say with uncertainty.

"Well...which one?"

"Uh...both...."

"BOTH???" He blurted, almost stumbling over in shock. I don't know what to tell the guy because I really don't know myself. We've shared passionate moments and we are indeed very close. But none of us have uttered a word about an official relationship or commitment. There's also the fact that goes for BOTH of them. I don't know if they plan on sharing, and if they do, then how will that work? Going out with Two Alicorn Princesses would be...a trip.

"Wow...if that's true.... Then ah tip my metaphorical hat to ya partner..." He said with a smile.

"Thanks ...I guess."

"I would give an arm and a leg just to spend a day with either of them...especially Luna...oh the things we would do..." Lightning said, his cheeks reddening a bit. Woah get that mind out of the gutter pal!

"I figured you would be mad at me..."

"Yeah...ah am a little jealous.... But... Ah don't have time to worry about mares, they usually come with too much drama..." Lightning said with a shake of his head.

"What do you mean?"

"Buy me this! Buy me that! Take me here! Take me there! How do ah look in this dress?" He said imitating a girls voice. It was kinda funny because he reminded me of Applejack.

"Not into the needy type?"

"Pfft nope!" He said with a laugh. Celie and Luna aren't needy....I mean they are the richest mares in Equestria.... So... They can kinda do whatever.

"I see what you mean..."

"Yeah...personally I'm into a girl that doesn't worry to death about fashion and her looks.."

"So basically... Not Rarity?"

"She's definitely a cute one, but no..." He said firmly.

"Well sounds to me like you'd be more into Applejack or Rai-"

*Tick*

"..."

"What was that?"

"Mah watch... It ticks sometimes..."

"That's...weird as f-"

*Tick Tick*

"Its gettin faster..."

"Why does it even do that?"

"Ah have no clue par-"

*TICK TICK*

"Hey wait a second... Do you hear that?"

"What the ticking?"

"No...it sounds like a pega-"

"LOOK OUT!" Cried a familiar rainbow pegasus.

"Oh this is going to hurt like a bi-"

*SLAM*

Rainbow Dash came crashing into me, knocking me flat on my ass. Then we rolled around a few times before coming to a stop, leaving us sitting there tangled in this awkward position.

"I told you to move!" Rainbow scolded as she got up and dusted herself off.

*Tick*

"Thanks for breaking my fall though!" Rainbow said with a smirk.

"Thanks for breaking my rib.." I said sarcastically as I stood up and rubbed my side with a cringe.

"Don't be such a wuss DJ..." Rainbow complained as she gave me a light shove. Then I looked over to Lightning who was attempting to suppress his laughter.

"She really should have hit you, maybe it would have knocked her out, so we wouldn't have to hear her mouth..." I muttered. Rainbow looked over to Lightning and frowned.

"Hey! What are you laughing at?" She said as she flew up to him and got in his face. He stopped laughing and raised his brow.

"Ah am laughing at you..." He said blankly.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Maybe..."

"Listen up bub...I've had enough of your mouth !" She said, waving a hoof in his face. "You better not laugh again or you'll get it!". Lightning scoffed and smirked.

" Ah feel threatened.... " he said jokingly. Then she started poking his chest in what was supposed to be a threating way, but he didn't even flinch as her hoof pressed against his chest harmlessly.

"I'm warning you! You dont want these ....hooves ..." Rainbow said as she trailed off. She landed and started to blush, Taking a few nervous steps back.

"Wow you're so threatening Dash... He's shivering with fear..." I quipped.

"Shut up!" She blurted nervously as she gave my shoulder a hard knock, making me recoil and wince in pain. Lightning started laughing again.

"Well DJ....ah have a few errands to run, so ah will see y'all another time..." Lightning said with a wave. I waved back and he started walking away.

"Make sure you swing by Twilight's so we can chill!" I said after him. He turned back a nodded, then continued walking. When he was gone I looked back to Dash. Her cheeks were red and her wings were twitching.

"Wh...who is that guy?" She asked sheepishly.

"Lightning Lyric, I just met him a few hours ago.." I muttered.

"O...Oh..." She said as she looked down, Nervously.

"He is a new recruit in the royal guard..." I added. Rainbow sat there silently, her eyes still glued to the subject stallion across the street.

"Jeez what the hell Rainbow?" I say as I observed her weirdness.

"What?" She snapped, attempting to straighten up and tuck her wings back in.

"Oh nothing... I didn't know you had a thing for earth ponies..."

"Me neither! That guy was really cu...HEY!" She yelled. I started laughing my ass off and she facehoofed. I can't believe that slipped out of her mouth. Then she punched my shoulder again making me wince.

"Do you enjoy hurting me???" I ask angrily.

"Yes, I do enjoy it a lot! But on another subject WHERE WERE YOU?" She suddenly blurted.

"Oh here we fucking go...." I say with a shake of my head.

"You storm off looking all sad, so the princess goes after you. Then the next day, you show up all happy like nothing happened!" She shouted quite loudly.

"What the hay did you two do???" She demanded loudly, getting the attention of some ponies in the street. I swiftly grabbed her and covered her mouth with a hoof.

"Stop screaming shit like that before rumors start..." I scold. Rainbow frowns and licks my hoof, getting me to let her go.

"Ew! What the hell Rainbow?" I say as I whip my hoof around trying to get her spit off.

"I can say whatever the hay I want!" Rainbow said proudly as she stuck her chest out. I proceeded to wipe the spit off in her coat and she didn't seem to care.

" I can't wait until I discover a spell to mute you..."

"You can't mute me! My mouth and any words that come out of it are too awesome!"

"Maybe I can at least mute your ego..."

"Can't hear you! Too busy being awesome!"

"I wish i could say the same..." I muttered with annoyance as I started walking toward Twilight's.

"You wouldn't last a day without hearing my sweet voice!" Rainbow teased.

"Tell that to someone who has a fuck to give..." I muttered casually. She stuck her tounge out at me and flew away. Now that I was by myself I decided to head back to Twilight's. As I was walking back, I was constantly harrased by a bunch of random mares and even a guy at one point. They all walked up to me asking me if I was single. When I told them I was, they all asked if I had plans next week. I pretty much told them to fuck off as nicely as I could.

Eventually i got to Twilight's and knocked on the door. Spike answered and I rushed inside breathing heavily. Spike looked suprised as he closed the door behind me.

"Sup bro?" I said with a nervous smile as I plopped down on the couch.

"Sheesh dude... Who was chasing you?"

"Mares...."

"Oh its about that time of year again right?"

"Yeah...how do you know about that again?"

"Because I'm older then I look?"

"Uh huh..."

"I wish I had mares chasing me around like that!"

"Heh... Maybe when you have that growth spurt or whatever, they will!"

"Yep! I can't wait to have wings!"

"Good... If the mares are chasing you around they won't be chasing me..." I muttered. Spike beamed and looked proud of himself.

"So...where is Twi at?"

"Upstairs..."

"Sweet..." I say as I lay back on the couch. Spike shrugged and walked to the kitchen. Barely even a minute later Twilight came rocketing down the stairs. Before I could blink she pounced onto me. Then with eyes as wide as dinner plates she shouted in my face.

"WHERE WERE YOU!!?"

"Uh....nice to see you too Twilight"

"I WAS SO WORRIED Y-" she started yelling, but I cringed and covered her mouth with my hoof.

"Turn down the volume please..." I said, removing my hoof.

"Oh sorry..." She said with red cheeks.

"Oh and do me a favor and stop standing on my ack... Throat..."

"Sorry..." She said again, stepping off and next to the couch. She cleared her throat and calmed down.

"I really was worried... You werent at the celebration and Princess Luna and even Rainbow Dash said that you were still in canterlot..."

"I was... I spent the night at the castle with Celestia..." I muttered. Twilight's brow raised suspiciously.

"Uh...in a separate room of course..." I added. Twilight looked at me with disbelief briefly.

"Riiight.....I sent Princess Celestia a letter but she didn't respond..."

"Uh... I think she was busy...." I muttered sheepishly as I thought back to when we were making out. I think I vaguely remember some scrolls popping up and rolling off the bed.

"Well... Next time you decide to spend the night somewhere, make sure you tell me first.." Twilight said with a warm smile.

"Yes mother..." I said with a smirk. Twilight rolled her eyes and started giggling. Spike came out of the kitchen with 3 bowls of salad and we started eating. We didn't say much until I remembered something.

"So how did that date go?"

Twilight swallowed hard and looked at me wide eyed.

"Oh it was absolutely horrible!"

"..."

Well... that's the last thing I expected her to say.

"Really?"

"Yes! Flash was so nervous that he could barely speak! Then he would shake and accidentally bumb into things!" She said with a frown. Welp.... Sounds like he forgot to borrow soarin's confidance.

A smile started to slowly work its way onto her face. "On second thought.... Flash is adorable when he's nervous..." She said with a blush.

"Well... Sounds to me like you should follow up that date then..."

"I think I will..." Twilight said with a giggle. We fell silent again for a while until I remembered something important.

"Hey Twi?"

"Yes DJ?"

"Remember a while ago when I asked you if there were any jobs i could do?"

"Yes..."

"Well...did you manage to dig up any?"

"Oh I'm glad you asked!" Twilight said as her eyes started sparkling she was on the verge of showing me that science face again. "I have a list right here!" She said as a scroll popped up with purple glow. She gave it a light shake and a comical moment happened when it rolled out and ended up being so long that, it rolled the entire length of the table, fell to the floor, then proceeded to keep rolling until it hit the wall.

"What the hell! Is this every job in Equestria or something???"

"Yep! Every single available one! Ordered into categories where I have The exact location, requirements, qualification, benefits, avalible working hours-"

"Ok....slow down, just pause for a second!" I ordered as I rubbed my temples. Twilight pouted but listened and stopped the onslaught of information.

"First of all... I only need jobs in Ponyville..." I muttered. Twilight sighed sadly and used a magical pair of scissors to cut the scroll. Well shit... that eliminated everything not on the table.

"Ok...scratch off anything magic related...I'm not the best at it yet..." I admit. Twilight pouted again but snipped away.

"Take off anything that I'll have to talk to ponies for a long period of time..."

*snip*

"Take off math heavy jobs... Math is evil..."

*snip*

"No baby sitting... Or anything with kids for that matter..."

*snip*

"Oh...if the job is with someone I already know that would be great..."

*snip*

...

"Why'd you cut the entire list?"

"Unless you want to help my friends, join the Royal guard, or be an assistant to the Princesses, there's nothing else out there with ponies you already know! Unless of course you finally decide to start you friendship assignment, where you'll make all kinds of new friends!"

" ...now that I think about it why didn't I just start with that?" I say with a nervous smile. Twilight facehoofed and made the list disappear.

"That beautiful list...wasted..."

"Its not my fault you went all chainsaw massacre on the thing!"

"Um....what's a chainsaw?"

"Never mind... Just tell me what kind of jobs your friends have..."

"Well first of all..."

...

Queen Chrysalis returned to her throne with a satisfied grin. She was pleased at the progress she made today. She captured at least 10 different Royal guards, then replaced them with her hatchlings, and not a single soul knew. Then she interrogated the captured guards and found out more about the creature she seeked. She didn't believe their stories at first, but as she talked to more guards she began to grasp the situation.

The creature is actually a human male, that has strangely gained control over two magics. One being Alicorn magic from the Princess herself, and the other being a magic that she's never heard of. "Chaos magic" they called it, and it apprantly grants the human the ability to change his appearance as she does. The Human had a strange name... "Derrick Young" and his nickname... "DJ". But the one she would be looking for is a handsome black and white Unicorn that goes by the name of "Dawning Jade". He apprantly lives in Ponyville with the wreched Princess's goody two shoes student Twilight sparkle.

She had the information, now she just needed to figure out which form he responds to the most, then she could get close and use her mind control spell as well as begin draining the love from him.

One last important thing she noted from the female guards is the fact that they claim Derrick is...attractive....VERY attractive... Especially in his human form. The queen herself found some pride in the fact that she's been with almost every species out there. The wonderful thing about changelings, is the fact that any species can fertilize.

"Hm...I've never even seen a human before... I wonder how he rutts..." Chrysalis said too herself, smiling devilishly.

...

In the wee hours of the morning before the sun was up, a tall bipedal figure walked over to the sun Princess's balcony doors. It gently opened them and slowly tip toed its way over to the large luxury bed, where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna lay, sleeping peacefully. The bed was large enough for both sisters to toss, turn and stretch as much as they wanted without even touching each other.

The tall figure went to the left side of the bed where the Sun Princess lay and slowly crept up to her resting form. The figure watched her for a moment but slowly and silently started to move its arm but..

"You better have a good reason for sneaking into my room so early.... WITHOUT permission Derrick..." The sun princess said without even opening her eyes.

The figure paused and cleared his throat. Celestia sat up in her bed and yawned, then stared at the human standing a mere foot away. Derrick simply Raised his arms, a large empty jug in one hand and a large sack of bits in the other. Celestia started smiling her ass off once she realized what he came for.

"You were serious?"

"You weren't?"

"No...I'm afraid I may have deceived you again..."

"Huh?"

"That milk I gave you yesterday was ordinary cow's milk. You didn't think I would REALLY give you...MY milk did you?"

"..."

"Derrick?"

"I'm both very releaved and extremely disappointed at the same time..." Derrick muttered. Then he started to walk away Toward the balcony doors again.

"Where are you going?"

"To buy some fucking milk..."

"Oh...well then....have fun!"

"I'm still going to prank the shit out of you Celestia..." Derrick said as he transformed and flew off toward Ponyville. Once he was gone Luna rolled over.

"That one can be quite bold....sneaking into the room and demanding such things from you..."

"indeed sister..."

"I must admit....the mere fact that he dares to defy us, only serves to make him more attractive..."

"Yes...but also unpredictable..."

"I would watch thy back Tia... He seemed serious about his prank"

"Way ahead of you sister..."

"Oh? Because I will be there laughing when he manages to prank you successfully."

"Who's side are you even on Lulu?"

"I always pick the same side Tia!"

"And what side would that be?"

"My side..."

"..."

*facehoof*

"Care to join?"

"I'm going to raise the sun now..."

Author's Notes:

Notes: This chapter is short because I simply wanted to wrap up act 5 before going into act 6 (mating season). The reason it took so long is because I was kinda busy....a birthday.... Video games....junk food... Spring break.... That kinda stuff.

Some people thought the whole milk thing was weird, but I didn't want to go back and outright remove the joke entirely, so I had to add in the last snippet.

Thanks to Ponymaster18 for letting me use his OC, as well as suggesting some things! ^.^

I may or may not be posting something that fans of this story will find... interesting... But I dont want to say anything yet in case I back out.

Oh... One last thing... I don't speak French, so go ahead and put Fleur Dis Lee's lines into Google translate or something. Think of it as an... easter egg : )