Act 5 part 3: Awkward Hangout

"You want to take another? Seriously?" I ask in annoyance, as Luna nodded with a smile. I sighed and handed her my phone again. She's been taking selfies with it for the past 10 minutes and I'm starting to worry if my cellphone is corrupting her mind like it corrupted so many others. I'm sure all you selfie maniacs know what I'm talking about, nothing personal.

"Tia! You must try this!" She said as she poked her sister, who was reading some book and enjoying some pizza.

"Not now Luna..." She said, completely emmersed in her book. I'm a little curious about what she's reading, but I won't ask.

"Ok Luna that's enough selfies for today..." I said, raising my hand to receive my phone. She stuck her lip out in protest but gave me the phone anyway. I immediately went to the gallery and grimaced.

"What? Are the pictures of my face revolting?" Luna said, her ears slowly drooping.

"Hell no! I like them.... But..."

"But?"

"You didn't have to take 78 selfies! Especially when half of them look the same..." I muttered with a frown..

"Oh...we apologize..." Luna said with slight embarrassment.

"Pick one to keep. This phone's storage is not infinite..." I muttered. She looked slightly downcast but she complied and picked one picture, then deleted the rest. Then we both looked at Celestia again, she seemed to be in another world while she was reading that book, like Luna and I weren't even here. Ok I'm curious now!

"Celie? What are you reading?"

"..."

"Celie?"

"..."

"Earth to Celie?"

"Oh! Yes Derrick?"

"What are you reading?"

She put a magical book mark on her current page and hoofed me the book. The cover art was of two ponies cuddling and the title was "69 Shades of Gray". I read the title a few more times in my head, you know....just to make sure I read that correctly. Then I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things. My eyes suddenly widened and I flipped to a random page in the book. I read a few lines then gasped out loud. I immediately slammed the book shut and my cheeks felt hot.

" Celie you're..... You're a fucking perv!" I shout pushing the book away.

"What made you come to this conclusion?" She asked, not looking ashamed at all.

"That fucking book! It's basically porn!". Celestia simply shrugged uncaringly. Luna then looked at me like I was crazy. She doesn't believe me.

"What? I swear! Read this shit!" I said, quickly snatching the book and shoving it in Luna's face. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the book with her magic.

"Go to page 117"

"Ok... But I'm sure it is not as bad as you are describing..."

...

"SISTER!" Luna said with a loud gasp as she closed the book.

"See? Didn't I tell you!"

"Sister....I didn't know you were into that sort of... literature..." Luna said as she snickered behind her hoof. Celestia grabbed the book again and shrugged. She has no shame whatsoever, she looks like she doesn't give less of a fuck about what we think right now. I guess that's what happens when you're over 1000 years old.

"Don't pretend like this book didn't originally belong to you..." Celestia said with a straight face. Luna's laughter immediately ceased and I swear her fur color was literally red. I slowly turned to her in shock, my mouth completely agape.

"So you're BOTH pervs..." I corrected as I now looked at both of them differently. They sat there in silence, Celestia with her uncaring stoic expression and Luna who looked like she was going to burst.

"Don't get any funny ideas from that book Tia..." I added with a grin. Luna's embarrassment immediately faded and she lost her shit again. Celestia said nothing and gazed at her little sister. Then a moment later something seemed to click in her head, and she smirked.

"I'm afraid Luna is far more experienced in that regard. Remind me how extinsive the damage to Macintosh's pelvis was?" Celestia said without a flinch.

"..."

"Ooooooooooooooh.... shit!"

Ok.... Mac never told me it got THAT bad during last year's season.

"Burn..." I whispered as the room fell silent. Luna frowned and immediately sat up on the bed. The air in the room seemed to suddenly get cold and I started to shiver.

"Is it cold in here, or is it just me?"

"Are we really starting this conversation Tia?"

"Girls?"

"Yes, we are starting this conversation Luna..."

"Girrrrls?"

"Well I'd rather be experienced than not at all..."

"Goddammit they're ignoring me!"

"Please elaborate sister... I'm all ears..."

"I bet I could say anything right now..."

"Oh you know very well what I am referring too!"

"You both suck large hairy cocks..."

"I'm afraid my memory of the subject is quite faded, please remimd me!"

"Yep. I'm just going to shut up now..."

"You know that you haven't had the pleasure of rutting Tia..."

"Oh THAT subject again! Unlike you, I can control my animalistic urges and desires of being rutted!"

"That is the same excuse as last time! It is not that I can't control my urges sister, I simply choose not to. Why go through the season alone, when there are so many willing stallions?"

"Hmm...well...if you're so in control of your euterous Luna, I bet you couldn't go through this years season without rutting!"

"Fine! It will be easy! But only if you agree to find a mate this time around, like every other mare and let them rutt you!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

...

Um...what the fuck did I just witness? Like did they seriously have that conversation in front of me? It's like I disappear when they argue! Despite how strange that was, I learned some...interesting things.

1) Celestia is a virgin

2) Luna can't control her urges and is extremely rough

3) Neither of them can resist a bet, no matter how ridiculous it is

Now their just sitting there giving each other the evil eye, I decided to say something in an attempt to break up this strange fued.

"You're both still total perverts regardless...." I muttered jokingly. They both suddenly glared daggers at me. Uh... I think I should rephrase that sentence, before my skeletal structure gets unnaturally rearranged by hooves and painful magic.

"Uh...I ment.... you're both.......um...fuck it!" I said as I gave up and went back to my casual position, leaning against the large fancy golden bed post in between the sisters. I could feel them staring at me so I tried to do random shit on my phone to help me ignore them. You know those times when you scroll through useless shit, because either someone nosey is watching you or you're really bored. I was scrolling through some random folder of pictures simply labeled "P". I didn't really think about it at the time.

"So Derrick....how sexualy active were you on your world?" Luna asks bluntly.

"Um...that's classified..." I muttered nervously, as I continued scrolling through the folder.

"Why?"

"Because thats...private information..."

"I'm asking how often you use your privates, so technically you're correct..."

"Uh..." I muttered sheepishly. Then I felt the sisters gaze drift away from me.

"Is that...a human female?" Celestia suddenly chimed in. I immediately froze in place. My eyes focused on what was on my phone screen. Yeah...um...let's just say it was a really hot girl that may or many not have had her clothes off. I think I figured out why I labeled this folder with a "P".

"Ok! That's enough of the camera app!" I blurted out as the sisters start to laugh. My cheeks are on fire and I can't bring myself to look at either of them.

"So...who's the pervert NOW?" Celestia teased as she nudged my side. I didn't have to look at her to know that she had her signature smug grin. Luna was now more curious then ever about the subject.

"Was that female... Attractive to you?" She asked curiously as she rubbed against my left side.

"No Luna.... I just keep a picture of an ugly girl on my phone, because I totally get off to that!" I said with so much sarcasm, that I swear I could feel some overflowing from my mouth. Celestia giggled and Luna pressed on.

"What feature about her makes her attractive?" She asked. Why...the fuck....is...she...asking....me this?!

"Was it her face? Her curves? Her large bre-"

"Oh SHIT! A FUCKING SPIDER!!" I suddenly yelled. Than I bumped the back of my head against the bed post trying to get away. It was one of those ninja motherfuckers, that use their silk to hang from the ceiling and land on your fucking face. Celestia grabbed the spider in a small magical barrier and teleported it away, leaving me hyperventilating with a painful bump on my head. The sisters shared a puzzled look then started to snicker.

" You're arachnophobic? How cute..." Celie said.

"You're a virgin? How cute..." I shot back. Yeah that shut her shit up quick.

"And you're not?" Luna asked with a raised brow. I frowned and slowly turned to her.

"No I'm not..." I grumbled.

"Don't give me that look Derrick, I asked you already and you refused to answer..."

"Whatever! Now you know!" I said, folding my arms and laying my head back against the bed rest, wincing slightly from when I bumped my head. Luna smiled wide and nudged me again.

"How many times?"

"No."

"No?"

" I'm not telling you!"

"Oh come on Derrick its just a number!"

"F...five..."

"Five??? Huh..."

"What?"

"That's more then me..." Luna said as she looked away briefly. Celestia then narrowed her eyes and looked at me suspiciously.

"But...you said your dates didn't go well..." She pouted slightly.

"Yeah...they were horrible...but I did have friends..." I mumbled with a shrug. Luna and Celestia looked completely lost.

"Oh...uh...back home we have friends with benefits..." I said as I poked two fingers together nervously.

"Is it what I think it is?" Celie asked.

"Yeah pretty much...apprantly I'm hot or something... So it always ends up like that with my female friends..." I explained.

"Interesting..." Luna said to herself with a mischievous smile. I lightly flicked her ear and she whimpered slightly and gave me puppy eyes. Oh their just adorable!

"Honestly... I feel like that's happening here..." I whispered to myself as I observed how close the sister were to me. Celestia was tightly snuggled to my right with the back of her head resting on my shoulder and Luna was on my left gently resting her head in my lap. I could feel their steady breaths and heart beats calm me down. I sighed happily and sat there. This is awesome!

"Hey, want to see what else my phone can do?" I said with a relaxed tone.

"Sure!"

"Can we take more selfies?"

"No Luna..."

"Please?'

" No you're going to wear my camera lens out..."

"Really?"

"No"

"Just one last picture? Of the the 3 of us?" Luna begged. She gave me those puppy eyes again and I sighed and shook my head.

"Alright fine you damn adorable horse..."

"Im adorable too..." Celie pointed out.

"Yes...yes you are...fabulous."

"What? We art just as fabulous as our sister!"

"No... you're adorable."

"Wait wait hold on... Am I adorable or fabulous?"

"Just shut up and smile tia..." I muttered, giving their necks a slight pinch. They tried to nip at me but I just flicked their muzzles and they pouted. Like I said...big adorable...sexy...fabulous cats. I cleared my throat and stuck my arm out. They moved closer to me then we all put on a genuine smile. I took the picture and we all looked at it. Damn...could have used my magic to take the picture but...

"That turned out pretty good!" I said with a smirk.

"Perfect!" Tia said with a nod.

"I love it!" Luna agreed.

"I really like that picture! I'm going to make it my wallpaper..." I said as I pressed the appropriate buttons.

"Wallpaper?" Luna questioned.

"The picture that shows up in the background, like this" I said as I hit the home button and showed them.

"Hmm...fascinating... What was the image before?" Celie asked.

"I honestly dont remember..." I muttered truthfully, making Luna snicker.

"So what now?" Luna asked as she idly rubbed my chest. It took her a while to realize what she was doing but she eventually stared up at me with her ears folded.

"Is something wrong?"

"N...no..." I said with a shake of my head. I mostly didn't mind because I realized that I'd been idly running my right hand through Celestia's mane, and she was enjoying every second of it, purring with each stroak.

"I guess I can show you my music..." I said as I stopped touching Celestia's hair, she pouted in disappointment.

"Music?" This device has music?" Luna said, her ears perking up.

"Yep!" I confirmed as I went to my music app. I wasn't really an avid music person though. I mostly listen to dubstep and it's various forms. My favorite type of music is the kind that makes you just...chill...you know? I doubt that they really have dubstep in Equestria though.

I turned up my volume and hit shuffle. Celestia and Luna sat up when the song started playing. After a few seconds I smacked the fuck out of my forehead.

"What? What's wrong?" Tia questioned.

"This song... Is probably the worst song that could have come up right now..." I said, gritting my teeth.

"Why? I've never heard music like this before... So far I like it..." Luna said with a grin.

"The song is called 'Magical World' by Bassnecter...and guess what? I'm in a magical world..." I grumbled.

"How ironic..." Celie said with a snicker. We listened to the music and relaxed for a bit. A few more random songs played before I eventually stopped.

"Why did you stop? I like that song!" Luna huffed.

"Because it's making me sleepy and my battery is probably going to die."

"Your battery? Ah yes... I remember what you said about the device's limited supply of power.." Celie muttered. I shrugged and looked at the battery gauge.

100%

...

"What the actual fuck?" I said in genuine confusion.

"It appears to have worked sister..." Tia said.

"Yes sister indeed it has..." Luna said with a knowing smile.

"What worked? What are you talking about?" I asked frantically. The sisters said nothing, they just smiled at me.

"Y...you did this?"

"Correct!"

"How?"

"Oh I simply channeled some magic into the device earlier, to see if it was an acceptable power source."

"You did? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to get your hopes up, in case it didn't work.." Tia said with a grin.

"So...I can charge my phone by channeling magic into it?"

"It appears so!" She said beaming happily. Fuck yes!

"You are... AWESOME!" I said with joy as I grabbed her by the cheeks, scrunching them up and making her lips puff up. Then I gave her a kiss.

"Thank you! But... Never do that shit again..." I said with my smile fading slightly.

"Why not? Celie asked curiously, still rubbing her cheeks that were tender from me holding them so tightly. Shut up you nasty fucks, I was talking about her face! Get your mind out of the gutter.

"Because what if my phone DIDN'T accept the magic, and just ended up.... spontaneously combusting?"

"Oh...I see..." Tia said with a giggle.

"So we get to listen to more music?" Luna said hopefully.

"Nope! Even better! Now that battery life isn't an issue, we can watch a movie!" I said happily.

"Movies?" The sisters said with raised brows.

"Its basically like those videos we made, except higher quality and a lot longer." I said as I went to my movie collection. I have a decent sized collection of movies, taking up a majority of the space on my phone.

"How long are these... movies?" Luna said with a worried face.

"Like an hour and a half or longer, it depends. Why?"

"I may not be able to watch it with you, because I must visit Ponyville soon..."

"Why? Oh yeah...your nightmare night thing..." I said, feeling slightly downcast because she might miss the movie.

"Then again... I'm not sure if you two would even be interested in the type of movies I watch anyways..." I said as I scrolled through them.

"Well I'm not sure what kind of movies there are..." Celie said with a shrug.

"Well just pick your favorite type of book first..."

"Why?" Luna questioned.

"Well because a lot of movies are based off of books anyway. So that's a good start..." I explained.

"Well ok then... In that case...."

" I don't have any porn movies.... Sorry Celie..." I teased, making her sister snicker. She gave me a stern look.

"Say one more joke about that.... I implore you..." She said with narrowed eyes.

"You know... They do have this human movie called 50 shades of...never mind" I muttered as I started roaring with laughter.

"You have been warned. I will not hold back on my revenge..." Celie said with narrowed eyes. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I'll probably regret that later but oh well. The girls looks like they made up there minds on their favorite Genres.

"Hm...I like Horror, Romance and Suspense." Luna announced. I sighed and shook my head.

"I like Romance, Comedy and I enjoy the occasional action story from time to time..." Tia stated.

"Of course you like action... I bet there was a lot of action in that book of yours..." I teased.

"I will have no mercy Derrick....NONE!" Tia said cripticly. I ignored her and frowned at my movie list.

"Well majority of my library is loud action movies.... Most being Sci-fi..." I said with disappointment.

"Sci-fi?"

"Science fiction... "

"What is that?"

"Judging from how interested you two were in my phone, I think you'll like some of these... I said as I scrolled through. Then I stopped on one movie and pursed my lips.

"Want to watch a movie about a fictional alien invasion? It has a little bit of what you guys said you liked... " They both looked at each other and shrugged.

"Sure! I'm eager to see if these movies are more entertaining than books ...and I do try to keep an open mind..." Celie said. Luna nodded in agreement.

"I think they are, It's rated PG - 13... are you cool with that?"

"And he assumes we know what that means..." Luna muttered with a deadpan expression.

"Parent guidance for ages 13 and under..."

"..."

"How old do you think we are Derrick?"

"I was joking..."

"Thy should look at thine self..."

"Pfft! Bitch please! I'm a grown ass man!" I said with a chuckle.

"Hmm...indeed..." Luna said with a smirk as she squeezed my arm with a half lidded expression. Chill out there...

"Alright the movie is called Edge of Tomorrow... I've only seen it once...but you tend to catch things you didn't notice the first time when you watch it again."

"Ok get comfortable..." I said as I hit play. The beginning credits started to roll and those news broadcasts talking about the invasion started playing.

"Wow!"

"Its amazing!"

"Huh?"

"This movie is incredible!"

"We agree sister.."

"..."

"Why did you pause the movie Derrick?"

"Yes! What is the meaning of this?"

"....it hasent even been THREE MINUTES yet... .." I muttered as I hit play. The movie went on to the point where the humans were gearing up to storm the beach. This time Luna paused the movie.

"Derrick? When will we get to see these 'Mimics' they speak of?"

"Yes I was wondering the same thing...they seem to be causing quite a bit of trouble on your world."

"Maybe if you would stop pausing the fucking movie, we would get to see them!" I snapped as I tapped the screen and unpaused it. The sisters pouted but stayed quiet. They were now loading up the dropships and other vehicles. And of course Celie felt the need to pause the damn movie again.

"Before you get upset with me... I think I understand why the genre of this movie is science fiction, but just how much of this human technology is real?" She asked. I supressed my rage because that was a legitimate question.

"Well I'd say everything except for the Exo-suits and holograms..." I muttered.

"Really? So you have giant metal beasts that roll on wheels and even larger ones that take to the sky?" Luna questions. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, I don't think I've explained cars and aircraft to them yet.

"The small ones with wheels are called cars. The flying ones are airplanes and this specific type is called a VTOL." I explained.

"And these types of things are your transportation?" Celie inquired.

"Yep...we don't have a carriage carried by pegasus... We have helicopters!" I said with a grin.

"Your transportation looks quite intimidating..." Luna muttered sheepishly.

"These are military vehicles, there supposed to look scary.... " I quipped.

"These aircraft remind me of our airship fleet..." Celie muttered. That statement got my attention.

"You guys have airships?!" I ask excitedly. I always thought they were pretty neat, seeing them in the fantasy games I play when I'm not shooting something.

"Yes of course! How do you think we fly long distances? Or overseas?" Celestia said with a raised brow.

"Huh...I guess I never thought about it... You have to let me ride an airship one day though..." I said with a hopeful grin.

"I'll contact you on my next overseas trip..." Celie assured. Yes! Riding an airship would be badass! I wonder what Equestrian ones look like?

I hit play again and it started to approach the initial beach invasion scene. I'm worried about how they're going to take this. This is their first movie.... EVER... and I was showing one depicting a depressing war with humor in between. Then again they are over 1000 years old, so I'm assuming that they've seen worse shit in their lifetime. Regardless, I'd say that most people are desensitized to violence and death because of media. My suspicions were confirmed back home when the first action scene started. If you haven't seen the movie yet... well... This is where the shit hits the fan.

Celestia and Luna went dead silent once the action started. No questions, no pausing, no comments. I could feel their heart beats rise and they started to cuddle me tighter. The look on their faces was completely blank. Then they surprised me again by staying quiet for the ENTIRE MOVIE. They laughed lightly on some of the funny parts, gasped and jumped, squeezing me tightly on the suspenseful parts. They were completely emmersed and engrossed in the movie until the end credits rolled.

"So...what did you think?"

"..."

"Girls?"

"Human media...is truly amazing... Thank you for sharing this with us Derrick..." Celestia said with sparkling eyes.

"I...I wish to share this with everypony..." Luna said with a similar star struck look.

"Uh...ok... What did you think of the actual movie" I muttered as I locked my phone and let it rest against my chest.

"I fear for Equestria's soldiers if we ever had to face an army of mimics..." Celestia said with a cringe.

"Especially with their ability to reset the day... We would be doomed..." Luna added.

"Maybe... I'd say you have better odds then a human army... You guys have all kinds of crazy magic bullshit to help you..."

"Perhaps... But Unicorns only make up 1/3 of the Royal guard... And we lack good ranged weapons and those... Suits..." Luna pointed out.

"This is near future stuff for humans... We don't have exo suits yet... At least not that good yet"

"But you have guns... Despite the Mimic's lethality at close range, it seemed like your weapons made short work of them..." Celestia said.

"Yeah but... Holy shit....its your first movie and your already over analyzing shit..." I said with a laugh, The sisters joining me shortly after.

I was beginning to get a little drowsy. Luna started looking sad as she stood up.

"I'm afraid I must get ready to depart to Ponyville..." Luna said, walking towards the bathroom to freshen up. Celestia sighed and looked at me with a more serious expression.

"Derrick? Have you thought about your future in Equestria?" She asked. I blinked a few times and layed my head back, staring at the ceiling. I've never looked up in here... There's a beautiful painting of the sun on it.

"Well...not really honestly... I'm a bit shortsighted..."

"Hmm...I noticed.." Celie said with a warm smile.

"Well...I did have some sort of plan... Want to hear it?"

"Please share.." Tia encouraged.

"Well actually, its more like a list of goals..." I corrected as I cleared my throat. Celestia nodded and waited.

"Get a job with decent income, and save some bits.."

"What are you saving for?"

"A house.... My own place in Ponyville..." I said confidently.

"Hmm...well I suppose that's a good thing to strive for."

"Yeah... But as much I would like to invite you two to dinner, that goal is pretty far from now..."

"Indeed..."

"I also wanted to try and get an Xbox set up... I could show you video games and we could watch more movies on a big screen and proper sound system.... I think I know who can help with that..."

" That sounds wonderful!" Celie said, nuzzling my cheek.

"The next one is kind of...different..." I said, losing my smile. Tia detected the sudden change in my mood and started to look worried.

"How...different?"

"Well... I want to find my true purpose here. What was I sent here for? Was it just an unfortunate twist of fate? Or am I destined for something... Greater? That day the Ursa's attacked Ponyville.... I was there to stand up for innocent ponies that couldn't defend themselves... Is that really me? A selfless hero? Twilight said that a ponie's cutie mark means something...it makes them...unique. Does mine?" I muttered. I sat up in the bed and glanced down at my hands as I idly play with my phone.

"Basically... I have to go on one of those cliche soul searching adventures..." I said with a smirk as I shook my head at how lame that sounded. Tia held me tightly and rested her head on my chest.

"Don't worry Derrick... You shall find a purpose in Equestria..."

Then she thumped my nose with her hoof.

"Without a cliche quest..." She said with a giggle. I nodded my head a few times and narrowed my eyes.

"I dunno Tia...to be honest with you...I've always had an unquenched thirst for adventure..."

"Hm...In that case, it looks like you will be going on that quest..." She said with a smirk.

"Maybe...but...it might be fun you know? This has been the most interesting week of my entire life!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! My life back home wasn't very eventful, let's put it that way."

" Really? Because according to you, there were at least five significant events that happened..."

"Yeah...that...don't remind me..." I said with a chuckle.

"I would just like to remind you that I'm still going to prank you hardcore..."

"Oh boy...I kinda hoped you forgave me for the whole virgin thing..."

"Nope."

"Damn...I need to show you more movies then..."I joked making us both laugh. Luna came out of the bathroom with all her royal shit on.

"I shall see you both later..." She said with a quick wave. Tia and I waved back and Luna opened the doors and left, closing them behind her gently. After that a silence fell over the room.

"..."

"Derrick?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't think less of me because I'm a...v..virgin right?" Celie asked with a sad expression. Holy shit she was really hurt about that wasn't she?

"No..no Tia... It's just..." I started to say. She immediately raised her head off my chest and narrowed her eyes. Shit DJ...don't fuck it up...don't fuck it up...

"I just...find it hard to believe..." I said carefully. Celestia furrowed her brow.

"Why?" She asked.

Because you're sexy as fuck.

"Because you've been alive so long?" I said with a shrug. She thought for a moment then lowered her head back onto my chest and sighed. Crisis averted.

"I suppose I could see why you would think that... Most ponies assume that I've..."

" Been around the bush?"

"Yes...that. But after my dating disasters... And the revolting nobles who constantly try to court me for their own selfish reasons I just...haven't..." She said with a shrug.

"That sounds rough..." I muttered, idly running my hand through her hair.

"I've just never been able to open up to somepony... And act like Tia, instead of the royal facade that I have to put on...Luna obviously doesn't have that problem..." Celestia said as she blew her hair out of her face.

"Well... I'm sure you'll find somepony eventually..." I said with a reassuring smile. Celestia sighed and started idly rubbing her hoof across my chest.

"Indeed... I have a few in mind..." She said with a smirk. I wanted to ask but I won't because I think I know who she's talking about.

"They can rutt me too while their at it..." She added randomly.

"Uh...noted..."I squeaked, unsure how to respond to that. Then Celestia yawned... And lowered her eyelids.

" Never speak of this to anypony if you want your genetals to remain where they are..." She said casually.

"Huh?"

"Goodnight..." She said. Then she released me and rolled over, dimming the lights with her magic.

"Wait what?"

"You're going to sleep here because you're too lazy and or tired to get off the bed and move to another room..."

"...you know me too well you damn magical horse."

After a quick laugh we started to drift off to sleep. Shut up... This bed is enchanted or something, Its the most comfortable thing in the universe.

...

The next day I woke up with Luna cuddling me, and Celestia was nowhere to be found. Then I heard some sounds come from the bathroom so I assumed she was getting ready for her vagina cheese job, running a country. I tried to get up from the bed but Luna refused to let me go. So I sat there awkwardly trying to slip away for a good 10 minutes before Celestia came out of the bathroom looking radiant as always.

"Good morning DJ..." She snickered.

"Hi...I need help your highness..." I said with a frown. Tia shook her head and used her magic to replace me with a pillow again. I really feel sorry for those pillows.

"Did you sleep well?" Celestia asked curiously.

"Yeah...had a pretty neat dream..." I said with a nod.

"What was it about?"

"Ummm.. Nothing...just know that it was a continuation of my day dream from yesterday..." I muttered with red cheeks. Celestia raised her brow, she looked like she was going to ask but she decided against it. Instead she walked over to her dresser and set down a glass of milk.

"Man...my mouth is really dry..." I said because my mouth and throat started to feel like a desert.

"Would you like a glass of milk?" Celie asked casually , lifting the same glass off the dresser. I hesitated at first but I eventually took the glass. Celestia started watching me closely for some reason.

This milk looked... Different to what I'm used to...its a lot creamier... Or something.

"Where did you even get this? This glass was empty last night..." I asked curiously as I studied the milk. I don't know where Equestrians get their milk...

"Oh...somewhere... Local..." Celestia said with a kind smile. At that moment I remembered what she said about pranking me hardcore.

"Ok what did you do to it?" I ask as I put my hand on my hip.

"Nothing! Its 100% fresh, all natural milk!" She said with a toothy grin. I narrowed my eyes and stared at her. This milk is suspicious as shit, but my throat is dry and there is nothing else right now.

"Alright whatever..." I said as I brought the glass to my mouth.

*sip*
*gulp*

...

"Wow..." I said as I took a step back and almost dropped the glass. Celestia's ears drooped slightly.

"Y...you don't like it?" She asked nervously. I looked back at her and a smile slowly formed on my face.

"I...I... love it!" I said as I took a few large gulps. Celestia looked surprised at first but then she started smiling smugly.

"Can I get another glass?" I ask hopefully as I wipe my milk mustache away and took another sip of this sweet heavenly milk.

"Oh I'm afraid not, you'll have to wait until tomorrow..." Celie said with a shake of her head.

"What? WHY?" I exclaimed.

"Because they wont be full again until then..." Tia replied.

"What do you mean by-"

...

I froze in place when I thought about what she said. Made locally... 100% fresh... they won't be filled up until then? Then my heart fucking stopped. I slowly looked down from her slightly mischievous smile, down to her underbelly. I noticed her teats were a bit..deflated (don't fucking ask me when I discovered those) Then everything immediately made sense to me. I started to shiver as I processed this new realization.

There were a dozen ways I could have reacted after that. I could have gagged and thrown up everything on the floor, I could have raised hell and screamed my head off. I could have conjured a gun and committed suicide, I could have passed out on the floor because of pure WTF. But I doubt she was expecting what I did next. Hell I wasn't expecting what I did next.

*sip*

*gulp*

I finished the milk and started nodding. I looked back up from her belly and our eyes met, her expression was unreadable.

"Just so you know....this means war..." I muttered calmly.

"I'm well aware..."

"....but not today....only because you taste delicious..."

"Why thank you... " She said as we both stared at each other, our expressions completely blank.

"I want more..."

"Tomorrow"

"I'll bring money..."

"Deal"

After whatever that was, she waved to me and left the room. I was still sitting there with that blank expression, holding the now empty glass absent minded.

"You got pranked... Hardcore..." Luna said as she busted out laughing. She must have woken up and saw the whole thing. I set the cup down on the table and started scooping up my clothes.

"Im going to wash up..." I muttered blankly. Luna shook her head and laughed harder.

...

It was now a couple minutes later, I'd said good bye to Luna and left with all my things. My chest was no longer glowing which means I can go back to Ponyville. I still don't know where the castle gate is. I was about to ask a random guard where it was but suddenly I ran into this girl. She was a dark grey earth pony girl who was carrying a book in her mouth that she dropped when I bumped into her.

"My bad...here's your book..." I said as I picked it up for her.

"Why thank you-" she started to say but she stopped when we made eye contact. She started to shiver. Hm...maybe she doesn't know who I am?

"Hey I'm not going to bite you..." I muttered as I tried handing her the book again. After that things got Really... strange. Her eyes.... Changed. They started glowing this sickly green color and I noticed that her pupils were reptile like slits. Then her hair started to pop out of place. What the hell?

"Uh...are you...ok?" I asked sheepishly. The girl didn't respond, she just sat there convulsing. I set the book down and called over a nearby guard.

"Hey! She's having a seizure or something help! " I shouted. Literally the second the guard rushed over, the girl stopped her weird spazzing out episode.

"Are ya ok ma'am?" The guard asked worriedly.

"Yes I'm fine..." The girl said with a smile. Then she picked up her book and calmly walked away, disappering around a random corner. Me and the guard stared at each other in wonder.

"I thought that bitch was possesed or something jeez..." I said with a sigh as I rubbed my forehead with a relieved sigh. The guard raised his brow and started laughing his ass off. I laughed too but I couldn't help but wonder what the hell I just witnessed. The guard then gave me a strange look.

"Well this is new..." He muttered, looking me up and down.

"What?" I ask.

"They didn't tell me that there was gonna be...whatever you, are walking around the castle..." The guard muttered.

"What do you mean? Don't you know what I am?"

"Nope.."

" I thought Shining Armor brought all the guards together and briefed you on me?"

"Well...ah must have missed the memo or somthin... Ah just got out of basic training the other day, and this is mah first patrol..." He muttered with a shrug.

"Well in that case my name is DJ..." I said with a smile as I held my hand out. He looked at it hesitantly but he smiled back and accepted my hand shake. He was a blue earth pony with a messy brown mane and tail with a cutie mark of a lightning bolt behind what appeared to be a microphone. He was also wearing a watch around his neck that appeared to no longer be functioning. I wonder what the story behind that watch is..

"Mah name is Lightning Lyric! Nice to meet ya DJ..." He said with a firm handshake. Hmm...an earthpony that didn't break my arm? I like this guy already.

"Hey...I know you're new around here but... Do you know the way out? I need to go back to Ponyville..." I asked hopefully. I've just been wandering around aimlessly.

"Sure thing partner... Ah was heading out anyways... Are you going to the train station?"

"Train station? No...why would I need to go there?"I said with a chuckle. Lightning looked at me with a deadpan expression.

"To go back to Ponyville...." He muttered. I looked at him puzzled, then I realized something.

"Right...I forgot.... You don't know..." I said with a shake of my head. Lightning looked at me with confusion.

"Ah don't know what?" He said, looking at me suspiciously.

"That I can do this..." I said casually as I turned into a pegasus. Lighting's jaw dropped and his eyes turned into pin pricks.

"What in tarnation are you?!" He demanded.

I wrapped my hoof around his neck and laughed.

"Come on man, I'll explain on the way..."

...

Deep under the Canterlot castle, lies a vast and complicated cave system, long abandoned by the greedy Diamond dogs who seeked the large deposit of jewels and other minerals that used to fill the space. Now its just empty and lifeless..... Mostly.

Inside one of the tunnels is a what can only be described as an alien hive. The walls, covered in a thick green goo that a certain gray pony was now quickly sprinting through as fast as she could. She ran past old shaks, now covered in the strange green organic material, she ran past rows of green pulsating eggs, she even ran past a large pod. Inside the pod was a grey pony that looked exactly like her, now imprisoned and in a state of suspended animation, never to wake up again.

The gray pony slowed her pace when she came upon a creature. The creature was shrouded in darkness, the only thing showing were her reptile like green eyes.

"Report" the queen demanded coldy.

"My queen.... I've discovered something interesting..."

" It better be good if you risked sneaking into here to disturb me hatchling..."

"There is a strange creature in Canterlot.... I've never seen anything like it!"

"So? There are many creatures in Equestria that you haven't seen before... Did you really come all this way to give me useless information?" The queen bellowed as she stood from her green goey throne and started walking toward the hatchling menacingly. The hatchling started to sweat nervously. It knew what happened to the last hatchling that made the queen upset. It took a glance at said hatchling....or what was left of it, a large green splat on the far wall.

"This creature is different my queen..."

"You need to get to the point right now..." The queen hissed.

"I may have found a greater source of love for the hive..." The hatchling squeaked. The Queen paused for a moment then her eyes softened.

"Really? Even greater than...what was his name...Shining Armor?"

"Yes...my queen...it was overwhelming... Just being in proximity of him made me loose control! There is so much love for this creature..." The hatchling said happily.

"Hmm...perhaps there are 2 or more mares attached to the creature... What is the creature anyway? A Griffon? A Minatour?"

"I don't know my queen..." The hatchling said with disappointment. The queen narrowed her eyes but stayed calm.

"I need to know more... I could use this creature's love..." The queen said as she started pacing.

"Of course my queen! I will investigate further..." The hatchling said.

"No....no...I will find out myself..." The queen said with a shake of her head.

"Of course my queen... Do you plan to invade early if you acquire sufficient love from the creature?"

"No...we will continue with the normal plan for now... I need to know more about that creature before I make a decision." The queen said again, shaking her head.

"Besides....Haven't you heard? It is mating season in Equestria.... This hive is supposed to be full of eggs.." The queen said as she licked her lips with her long snake like tounge.

"Ah yes...what Lucky stallion will be fertilizing you this time?"

"That depends on who I decide to impersonate. Return to your post, I will need your eyes and ears on everything..." The queen ordered. The hatchling nodded then turned around, letting out a breath it didn't know it was holding.

"I live to serve the hive... Queen Chrysalis..." The hatchling said as it left.

Now alone, Chrysalis had a lot to think about. Who and what is this creature? Why is there so much love surrounding it? Where is the love coming from? Was it the creatures love for one? or is it from others? How will it fit into the plan? Do I even need the plan if I have the love from that creature?

...

Is the creature cute?

"Time to get laid.... This army won't lay itself..." Queen Chrysalis muttered as she began to transform her appearance.

Author's Notes:

Notes: I'm going to avoid spoiling anything from any movies or games I talk about in the story.(I won't say anything that you wouldn't see in the trailer) unless its super old, or very popular (like...I know all you motherfuckers saw the avengers... Who didn't?)
Edge of tomorrow is a good movie, I recommend it if you haven't seen it.
Magical world by bassnecter is a good song that I also recommend.

Like I said last chapter, I will start going into DJ's first real adventure soon! I have some non cannon ones planned but I'm not sure where I should place them with the canon ones (like the Canterlot wedding)

I may or may not be posting a one shot sometime soon. I'm not really going to go into that too much yet.

My spring break started, so hopefully I can write a lot more for a bit!

Do you think Celie went too far with her prank? Because I don't XD