“We all meet at the what?” Princess Celestia asked in a tone that suggested she was unsure of her brain’s ability to process the words she had just read properly.

(Oh that wasn’t long winded at all. What, are you getting paid by the word here?)

(…….Mayhaps.)

“Hm?” Nightmare-Moon replied, looking up from her cup of coffee.

The two alicorns were once more in Celestia’s apartment inside Canterlot Castle. The coffee table they had been using the previous night had been swapped out for a larger table, as to accommodate a larger number of ponies. Nightmare’s Environment View Box™ sat in the center of the table, again surrounded by numerous figurines and scrolls. The mountains of snacks now resided in a corner instead of spread all over, making it easier to move around the room.

Except for a large rum cake, which sat next to Celestia’s spot at the table on its own little pedestal.

The cake-tyrant herself held up the scroll from which she had been reading for her fiancée to see. “It says right here we all meet at a tavern called The Horny Princess.”

“Celly!” Nightmare cried, snatching the scroll away. “If you read my notes, you’ll spoil the whole adventure!”

Celestia scoffed. “I wasn’t reading your notes, I was reading your introduction.” She then frowned. “Now explain to me how a tavern called The Horny Princess isn’t a jab at yours truly.”

Nightmare laughed as she rolled up her scroll. “Oh Celly, you’re such a narcissist, everything is always about you. The name could easily be a jab at your promiscuous niece.” The black alicorn tucked the scroll away in her mane. “And besides, it’s not a tavern.”

Celestia raised a regal eyebrow. “Oh?”

Nightmare nodded. “It’s a brothel that also serves refreshments.” She chuckled like it was the most obvious thing.

Celestia’s mouth fell open. “The adventure starts in a brothel?”

“As all good adventures should.”

Celestia groaned and brought a hoof to her forehead. “Moony, if it was just you and me, I wouldn’t mind if you started the adventure at an orgy.”

Nightmare quickly scribbled a few notes.

Celestia shot her a glare and kept going. “But, we’re going to be playing this game with Twilight Sparkle, the mare I practically was a second mother to, not to mention whatever friends she brings by.”

There was a moment of silence between the two.

“…And?” Nightmare asked expectantly.

“And what?”

“And where’s the problem?”

“We’re starting at a brothel,” Celestia said pointedly, receiving a blank stare from Nightmare. “A place where players can get sex from NPCs. In an edition of the game that includes rules for sex. Which you encourage players to act out for role-playing exp.”

Nightmare just shrugged. “They don’t have to. They can easily just read the pre-made sex scenes I wrote.”

“That’s beside the-” Celestia halted mid-speech as her brain process what had just been said. “You wrote sex scenes?”

Nightmare nodded. “In case the players were uncomfortable with having it described aloud to them or describing it themselves.” Nightmare gave a small grin. “A thousand years on a barren rock in the sky taught me to think ahead, Celly.”

Celestia groaned again. “Okay, new rule: every time you mention the banishment I spent a thousand years feeling guilty about, I’m taking a drink.” She turned to the rum cake. “Or an equivalent,” she said before shoving her face into the pastry.

Nightmare just smirked. “You’re very dramatic, Celly.”

“Fuck you,” Celestia mumbled around the cake she was shoving in her mouth.

Nightmare opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Not right now dear, your student has arrived. Perhaps later.”

The black alicorn trotted over to the door and pulled it open.

“Good to see you again, Twilight.” Nightmare smiled. “Ah, and your brother as well?”

“Yep!” Twilight said happily as she trotted into the room, followed by Shining Armour, who looked at the dark alicorn with a neutral yet wary expression.

To Nightmare’s surprise, Armour was quickly followed by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, who was looking around the room curiously. And as though that surprise was wrapped inside another like a corndog in its suit of corn-based bread, Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings came inside the room as well, smiling in a friendly manner at Nightmare.

Nightmare hummed to herself as she closed the door. “Quite the group we have tonight.”

Twilight nodded as the others began looking over the room. “Sure is.” She blushed. “I, uh, hope it’s not too many.”

Nightmare shook her head. “Oh not at all. The more the merrier, I say.” She smiled at the trio Twilight had brought. “Hello, I’m Nightmare-Moon and I shall be your Dungeon Master.”

To Nightmare’s bemusement, Cadenza suddenly turned a few shades of pink darker. The black alicorn raised an eyebrow. Queen Chrysalis nudged Cadenza.

“I seriously doubt she means it like that.” The Changeling deadpanned.

Nightmare snorted lightly in amusement as she realized what Cadenza must have been thinking.

“Dungeon Master means she runs the game,” Armour explained, a grin and light blush on his face as well.

Cadenza’s blush only darkened. “I know that,” she said defensively.

“Princess, why is your head in cake?” Twilight asked her mentor.

“You don’t know my life!” Celestia said through a mouthful of eggs, milk, sugar, and rum.

“O…kay?” Twilight said, deciding it was best to not bother at the moment. She turned to Nightmare. “So, you know them already?” She gestured to the others.

“I certainly know of them,” Nightmare said with a smile. “Your, ah, exploits make quite a good story, Captain Armour, Princess Cadenza, Queen Chrysalis.” The alicorn inclined her head to each in turn.

“It’s just Shining, in all honesty,” Shining said with a friendly smile and an offered hoof.

Cadenza spoke next. “Anypony that’s a fu-” she received a magical jab in the ribs “-I mean friend of Celestia is a friend of mine.” She offered her hoof. “And my friends call me Cadance.”

The glow that had briefly surrounded Chrysalis’ horn dissipated as she held out hoof as well. “I’m hardly a queen anymore. And even if I still was, I would insist you call me Chrysalis.”

Nightmare beamed. “Huzzah! This will definitely ease the gaming process, as referring to you by you’re full titles would have likely become tedious in a short amount of time.” She grinned as she shook each hoof. “And I invite you to call me Nightmare.”

“Awwww,” Celestia said, having pulled her head out from her cake. “It’s nice to see they're hitting it off.”

Twilight nodded. “Yep, which means we can get right to the game,” she said excitedly.

“Ah yes, the game,” Nightmare said s she moved to her spot at the head of the table. The others found spots at the other end of the table, taking up residence on stools and chairs.

“Now, anypony here that is new to this type of game?” Nightmare asked as she moved a few more scrolls into place.

Both Chrysalis and Cadance raised their hooves.

Nightmare nodded, a tad surprised Twilight Sparkle’s brother had not raised his hoof as well. “Very well then, allow me to lay out the rules.” As she said this, she used her mane to press play on the stereo, and a phat beat issued forth from the speakers as the black alicorn began bobbing, readying herself. She sucked in a breath-

“Oh sweet baby me no!”

The music abruptly cut out as Celestia pressed the stop button with a vengeance.

Nightmare pouted. “But Tia…”

“No, absolute not, Moony- I mean, Nightmare,” Celestia said firmly.

Nightmare grumbled something about the white mare keeping her down, but quickly composed herself.

“Alright then, the rules, at their base, are simple: I am the Dungeon Master, or DM. I control the game world, but I do not control you. Therefore, we all influence the game as it progresses. For every action that has a chance of succeeding or failing, you roll a D20. Rolling a high enough number means you succeed, rolling a too low number means you fail. Rolling a One means an instantaneous critical failure and rolling a Twenty means instantaneous critical success.” Nightmare paused and looked at the five before her. “I encourage all of you to be creative in all situations and I encourage role-playing. Also, since some of you are playing this for the first time, I will allow minor tweaks to you characters after the group completes the start quest.”

Nightmare retrieved a few scrolls and placed them in front of Cadance and Chrysalis. “I’ve taken the liberty of pre-rolling a few characters for you.” She turned to Shining. “Celestia has one already and Twilight told me she has prepared one as well. But since it seems you have played before, I take it you have a character already?”

Shining nodded and pulled a scroll from his saddle bag which he totally had earlier in this scene. The unicorn handed over the scroll to the alicorn, who quickly looked it over.

She then looked back at Shining and raised an eyebrow.

“‘Storm-Cloak the Awesome’?” she said skeptically.

Shining nodded. “Twilight said you were going to start us at level five, so I just dialed one of my previous characters back a few levels.”

Nightmare frowned. “Hm, well, I don’t see anything that could be a problem to the narrative or the others, but are you sure you want to play a paladin on this adventure?”

Shining nodded. “I always play paladins.”

Nightmare shrugged. “Very well.” She returned the scroll and looked back at Cadance and Chrysalis. “Have you found something to your liking? If not, I suppose it wouldn’t be too difficult to roll up a new character.”

The mares shook their heads. “I think we’ve found some good ones.” Cadance nodded excitedly.

“And we have some good names as well,” Chrysalis added.

Nightmare quickly glanced over at characters they had selected. “Ah, I heartily approve. This shall be fun!”

Just then, a loud ‘ding!’ came from further inside the apartment.

“Oh, my moon-pies are ready!” She quickly excused herself from the table. “Please mingle whilst I retrieve them!” She called back to the table as she trotted to the kitchen.

Shining couldn’t resist a snicker. “Moon-pies…”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “Corndogs,”

“Where?!” Shining said excitedly, looking around, much to the amusement of the mares.

Twilight glanced over at her former mentor, whose slightly sour look was not fazed by the joke at Shining’s expense, nor at the prospect of moon-pies.

“Don’t like eating moon-pies, princess?” Twilight asked.

Celestia gifted Twilight with a small smile. “Oh Twilight, you have no idea how much I would love to be eating a ‘moon-pie’ right now.”