Author's Notes:

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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Three updates in a month. What in the great goobering guck is going on? WHAT VILE SORCERY IS THIS?

Good lord, trying to push this story forwards at anything other than the glacial pace I've been working at is a nightmare. Sorry all, and again, feedback is important if I am going to get any better and give you a story worthy of your time and attention! If I'm doing it wrong, or the story starts to lag or 'rot', please let me know at full volume!

CHAPTER 47

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay in Ponyville, your Majesty? Or at least me?” The last of the Pegasi Royal Guards asked plaintively, head poking out of the doorway on the carriage as the conductor walked up and down the platform, checking for Ponies who were running late for the morning trip.

“I wouldn’t send you away under normal circumstances, but given that we lack the facilities to properly house you, Guardspony, asking you to remain on duty here would be rather cruel.” Princess Luna explained as Twilight waved goodbye to the rest of the Pegasi, who moped sadly or frantically waved back at her from their seats, all clearly wanting to stay in Ponyville, to stay with Twilight. “Also, you flew for hours under sustained recovery spells and then went comatose for over twenty hours. I want you all to undergo a full physical when you return to Canterlot, and I have sent a scroll through Sir Spike’s dragonflame that you are all to be placed on light duties until such time as you receive an all-clear report from the Royal Physician.”

“But … but your Majesty, we’re fine! We are all a little sore, yes, but we’re fine! We can service, I mean serve, just fine!” The guard protested vainly, staring vainly at Twilight with big, sad, puppy-dog eyes as the Conductor gave the final boarding call.

“You flew the entire way from Canterlot to Ponyville, carrying double the amount of passengers you are supposed to, at full speed and under the effects of spells that unnaturally force a body to recover from strain and injury. I will not risk any of you developing hairline wing-fractures or torn ligaments by pushing you even further after such a display. You have done your duty and done it well my friend, so now rest and recuperate. Equestria will need you, all of you, in the days to come.” Luna said with finality, trying not to break out into giggles as the Pegasi whined pitifully as he was pushed back into the carriage by the extremely unimpressed conductor, the train slowly pulling away and the Pegasi within all scrambling back through the carriage to press their faces against the glass windows, waving hooves and mouthing words as the train slowly pulled away, chugging and tooting, towards distant Canterlot.

For close to a minute, the two Princesses watched the train depart, before giving each other a quick look and finally giving in, bursting into giggles and leaning against each other for support as the giggles turned into straight-up laughter.

“Well … it appears that while your ‘estrus’ might be a little more dangerous than we thought, Twilight.” Luna whispered after the two Princesses recovered some measure of dignity, prodding her marefriend in the ribs repeatedly as Twilight covered her face with both wings and a fore-hoof to hide her blush. “You are still close enough to a normal Pony for it to make Stallions ‘perky’ around the Mare, though thankfully not to the point they will simply try to mount you in the street!”

“I am so embarrassed. After what you said, I thought I was safe and stopped bothering to use the diffusion spell to disperse any musk I might be producing, but …” Twilight sighed heavily and pulled her wings away to bat playfully at Luna, who giggled again and half-jumped, half-flapped out of the way. “I’m just glad the only thing that happened was half a dozen Royal Guards asked me on a date. At the same time.”

“You did cast the spell again after Shimmerwing and Fluffy Socks started to hoof-wrestle over who had the right to ask you out formally first, yes?”

“No, I cast it a little while after the lot of them started hitting on me and I realized what was happening. A bit like shutting the gate after the horse has bolted, slur not intended to our equine cousins, but the term fits. So hopefully a score of blue-balled Pegasi is my sole contribution to Equestria’s woes today.”

“Believe me, Twilight, compared to what my sister will be facing today, a squad of love-struck Royal Guards is a non-issue. Still, we’ve only a half-hour before Filthy Rich brings over his … friends to your library, so I suggest we hurry home.” Luna ruffled her feathers and looked around, noting with a frown how deserted the train-station was. “If I may enquire, it’s well past sunrise, and the shops should be opening soon, so where is everypony?”

“I was a little more concerned about getting the Royal Guards out of our manes before somepony took to them with some rotten fruit, or they tried to put the moves on me again, but you’re right, now that I think about it.” Twilight muttered nervously as the two Alicorns took to their wings, flapping up and over the train-station and heading back to the Golden Oaks Library, eyes scanning the streets for Ponies.

A futile search, apparently. Apart from some pet cats lounging in trees or sitting behind windowsills, and a few crows that had come to scavenge out of garbage cans, there was nopony out, although plenty of businesses had their signs out on the streets and their chimneys puffed with smoke.

“Where is everypony?” Luna and Twilight said out loud as they banked and headed down towards the Library.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, we will not throw the Princesses out of town! Carrot Top, you will come to order or so help me …”

“… have the proof right before your eyes, we’ve been under attack ever since Nightmare Moon appeared and that purple witch came to our town! Every other month, without fail, something terrible happens, and it’s all Twilight’s fault, you just …”

The Town Hall was uncomfortably cramped as scores of Ponyville citizens crammed themselves inside to listen to the shouting match between a knot of Ponies led by Carrot Top and Mayor Mare and her beleagurered army of civil servants, the mob whispering and muttering to themselves as the argument turned from unpleasantly uncivil to outright hostile.

“We’ve got a petition! You have to do it, we elected you!”

“Sixteen signatures DOES NOT CONSTITUTE a petition! You need at least a hundred signatures, achieved without coercion might I add Carrot Top, for the petition to be considered legally viable, and then it would have to go to a vote involving the entire town, where we would need at least a fifty-one percent vote in favour of your idiocy to even consider it!”

“Dang. Carrot Top’s really going ahead with this?” Lyra muttered to Bon-Bon, the other Mare sighing and nodding. “Isn’t she already facing charges for …”

“Violating a Royal Edict to flee Ponyville and assaulting a Royal Guard … with a vegetable.” Bon-Bon rolled her eyes as one of the infamous Golden Carrots flew through the air, lodging itself in Mayor Mare’s mane point-first like some hideously oversized hair-ornament, which prompted a chorus of shocked gasps from the civil servants, and then a shout of outrage from Carrot Top as her beloved vegetable was plucked from the Mayor’s hair by the long-suffering leader of the town and dramatically thrown into the trash ‘Where it belonged’.

“So she’s pouring oil on the fire?” Her marefriend whispered as Carrot Top was tackled to the ground by her supporters before she could throw herself bodily at Mayor Mare and was dragged, kicking and spitting, towards a side-exit, swearing she’d be back with the remaining signatures for her petition, and another one calling for Mayor Mare’s dismissal.

“Eh, probably trying to cause grief like she always does and doesn’t care she’s just digging a deeper hole for herself. Mare can’t stand to be on the losing side, you know that, she’s been like that since we were all foals. Remember when Big Mac refused to go out with her? She’s been after the Apple family ever since.” The sweet-maker rolled her shoulders in a sleepy shrug and yawned. “Orrrrr … maybe the idiot thought if she could drum up enough support to get Twilight banished from the town, she could leverage the petition against spending a few weeks in Horseshoe Bay.”

“…Did Carrot Top forget Twilight’s basically BFFs with the Goddess who raises the freakin’ sun and has ruled our country for thousands of years?”

“Like I said, she’s an idiot.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, so, Spike … where is Trixie? And do we have any coffee, we may have guests in the next fifteen minutes or so.” Twilight asked, rushing around the library’s ground floor, pulling curtains across the windows and straightening the throw-cushions up on the reading couches.

“The Long and Girthy Dixie is in the shower, and has been for the past twenty minutes while you two were out seeing Twilight’s new fan-club off. Coffee … uh … we’ve got some Gryphon Blend from your last late-night study-binge, Twilight, and thanks to your ‘shopping trip’ last night, there’s enough snacks to last till the apocalypse.” The young Drake rolled his eyes in disgust, having already done that work while the two Princesses were seeing the dopey Pegasi off earlier, and swatting Luna’s hoof with a claw when the Lunar Princess reached for his can-opener. “Luna! No salty plums, I’ve got plans for them!”

“But my saaaaaaaaalty pluuuuuuuuuuuums!” Luna whined, pulling the offending hoof back and giving Spike a pleading look that would have likely given him a blood-sugar related disease if he hadn’t built up an immunity over the years from exposure to Fluttershy and Rarity.

“No! Besides, I’ll be using several cans to make some pies with them later, so you need to w-wuurgh!” Spike’s lecture ended in a startled gurgle as Luna wrapped a forelimb around him, unfortunately falling around his neck, and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, squealing delightedly.

“Salty plum piiiiiiiieeeeeee! I haven’t had a home-made salty plum pie in millennia! Oh, Sir Spike, if you were not already knighted, I would elevate you to the peerage on the spot for this! Please, please remember to use sweet pastry for the crust, to contrast with the salty plums, and clotted cream to top it, and …”

“Hrrrrrgkh!” Spike coughed, trying to pry the dusky-blue limb away from his throat as his vision began to blacken around the edges.

“Luna, Spike needs to breathe!” Blessed air flowed into Spike’s lungs as Twilight’s magic, a familiar, comforting prickle enveloped him and teleported him away from Luna’s death-grip and onto a couch on the other side of the room, the young drake falling back against the soft cushions and breathing heavily as he massaged his throat with a claw. “I get you like salty plums, but really!”

“Nay, thou dost not … I mean no, you don’t! Nopony uses them in Canterlot! I asked for them many, many times, and nopony would ever prepare them! Too simple for a Princess, the cooks said! Too crude for the royal palate!” Luna danced on the spot, delighted despite the words that came spilling out and the angry look on Twilight’s face. “And here, in this town, I find shelves of them, at such low prices! In their own fermented juices, no less! Tonight, I shall gorge myself on salty plums much as Celestia feasts on her jellies and custards and layer-cakes!”

“… Huh. Spike, is this what I’m like when we get a shipment of new books in?” Twilight whispered to her young assistant as Luna started to levitate cans of salty plums off the counter and snuggled them.

“In all fairness, you’re worse.” Spike coughed, rubbing at his throat and giving first Twilight, then the oblivious Luna, dirty looks. “And can you please go pull your admiring servant out of the shower before she uses up all of the hot water again? I’m due for my weekly soak, and I refuse to take a bath in anything less that a boiling-hot bubble bath.”

“Of course. And I’ll top up the flame-runes on the hot-water heater so the water is at the temperature you like.” Twilight giggled, rubbing her little brother-slash-assistant’s head-ridges with affection as the Drake grumbled about mammals and cold weather.

Of course, putting hooves on the stairwell prompted thoughts of a far less pleasant nature to pop up in Twilight’s mind. Trixie’s adoration of her being the most … difficult to process, and the most embarrassing seeing the showmare’s ‘spare limb’ rubbing feverishly against that of the sleeping Royal Guard who had glomped her in the hallway. Who had seemed rather delighted to have Luna and Twilight cast detection spell after detection spell on his lower half, much to the chagrin and jealousy of the rest of the Pegasi. Faust only knows what the rest of the Royal Guards thought was going on. "Hey, sorry, we're just checking to see if you picked up a Demonic Veneral Disease in your sleep, no worries though!" Gah!

And why is a Mare’s cock bigger than the Stallion’s? Curse you, Weeaboo, I don’t need this kind of confusion while I’m trying to sort out just what Luna and I are right now! Twilight thought to herself, blushing and telling her lower self to stop winking as she climbed the stairwell, wings drooping as she approached the upper levels where her private quarters were, including the bathroom. Okay, so. Tell a hermaphroditic Pony who had apparently developed a crush on me right as Luna and I are both in the middle of a false estrus that I don’t want to play the Pony-with-two-backs game despite my body sending out physical signals screaming ‘Yes!’, without breaking her heart or offending her … and my first kiss was less than three days ago. Buck me sideways, can’t I just go deal with an invasion or something else that's easy?

Twilight found herself cursing not only her own ignorance of dating, including never having read anything about the social customs of Ponies seeking mates, or turning down unwelcome advances, but also Rarity for the romance novels which seemed to always go into torrid detail of Ponies spiralling into despair when rejected, or plotting the downfall of their romantic rivals. And past encounters had proven that Trixie was at least as prone to lapses of common sense as Twilight herself was during her panic-attacks.

Except Trixie had the tendency to resort to hyperbole and enslaving entire towns…

Breathe, damn you, breathe! Twilight forced herself to go through an entire set of calming breath-exercises before tapping a hoof on the bathroom door … to no effect. Huh. I can hear the shower running … so where is Trixie?

Frantic thoughts wormed their way into Twilight’s brain as her hoof hovered over the handle: Trixie really was a Succuponi and this was all just a ruse, and a fully-matured Demon-Pony lurked on the other side of the door to k-kiss her and corrupt her. Trixie had tried to cast a spell in the shower, and the Magi in Canterlot had panicked and electrified her torc … under the hot water and flash-fried Trixie when the magic in her torc had misfired. Trixie had slipped, hooked her torc on something and had accidentally broken her own neck!

Risking it, Twilight cracked the door open enough to peer into the bathroom, coughing softly into her hoof as a rush of steam obscured her sight and filled her lungs. Thankfully, Trixie was occupied, washing coconut-scented body-wash into her coat.

Unfortunately, Twilight got a clear view of the shower-head firmly being levitated in and out of Trixie’s crease, and a second levitated wash-cloth rapidly moving up and down Trixie’s ‘attachment’. A very large and pink attachment with a flare big enough to make Twilight’s terrifying memories from the Dreamscape easily overpower whatever ‘fuzziness’ her false estrus was causing her to suffer.

I cleaned my face with that wash-cloth! I have to use that shower-head! Twilight screamed internally as she eased the door shut and backed away slowly, her face contorted into a rictus of alarm and embarrassment.

She still hadn’t gotten proof if Trixie was infectious or not, and right not the show-mare was polluting her bathroom! Sexually, no less! Frustrated and confused over what to do next, Twilight tried to think of what her friends would do … and remembered a lot of comments directed to Rainbow Dash, whose sex-drive was infamous amongst their circle of friends, needing a ‘cold shower’.

Looks like Spike is going to have to wait a bit for his soak. Twilight thought to herself, filled with an evil mirth as she teleported outside to the back of the Golden Oaks Library and trotted to the water-heater, half-hidden behind a living root, and cast a spell at it she had researched last night before futilely going to bed, in-case she ever needed to immobilize another Pony like Sunset Shimmer again and her tentacle spell wasn’t enough.

The temperature around her horn plummeted within seconds, the purple swirling energy around her horn followed moments later by an answering swirl around the hot-water heater, which had never been connected to the town’s underground gas-pipes due to the nature of it’s construction and fear of the living roots breaking the pipes and causing a disaster, Twilight’s face breaking into a victorious smirk as her magic encased the device in a thick case of ice, and counted down the seconds till she heard a blood-curdling shriek from her bathroom.

And once again, I owe Applejack a thank-you. A cold shower does apparently calm a raging libido! The smug purple Alicorn thought proudly as she dispelled the ice-cage and poured a trickle of power into the now-extinguished fire-runes on the underside of the water-heater, noting with more than a little relief that her internal magic reserves were now closer to half-full than the nearly-empty state she and Luna had been suffering in the Everfree Forest after their first ‘sparking’.

The ‘heating’ process would take several minutes yet, even with the fire-runes actively heating the water far more effectively than any gas-powered flame could, but still … hopefully, Twilight could drag Trixie out of the bathroom now, cast a plethora of disinfecting and cleansing spells and ready the bath-tub for her long-suffering assistant and hopefully set some ground-rules with her unwelcome house-guest about ‘personal time’ in the librarian’s quarters.

While it was highly unlikely that the transformation could be transmitted to Spike via whatever trace secretions Trixie was likely to leave behind, Spike was still a member of Twilight’s family, biology aside, and the new Alicorn would go to Tartarus and back to keep him safe.

And the thought of a hermaphroditic dragon rampaging around town sent shudders running up and down Twilight’s spine. Weeaboo’s scroll had gone on at-length about the abnormal sex-drives of his creations. The last thing Twilight wanted to document was how such impulses would react when combined with the unlimited growth-potential of a Dragon in the middle of a greed-frenzy.

Trotting back around the front of the Library, Twilight forced herself to wave cheerily at the sole Pony she saw, Derpy Hooves’s colt-friend, Time Turner, the awkward Stallion waving back with that odd pen-light of his before slipping around a corner, grinning like a loon.

I feel like this is all some elaborate hoax or something, and I’m going to sit down and Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are going to leap out from behind a bush screaming about prank-wars. Twilight thought to herself as she opened the door and let herself into the library, ignoring the confused looks from Luna and Spike as she scrubbed her hooves on the floor-mat to remove any traces of dirt or grass.

“Spike, you bath is going to take a few minutes to get prepared. I need to … sanitize the bathroom, and have a chat with Trixie. Also I had to freeze the hot water heater and then recharge the fire-runes.”

“Why … no. You know what, no. I don’t wanna know.” The young drake said after several seconds of thought, turning around and throwing his hands into the air in disgust as he returned to the center of his power in the Library, the kitchen, while Luna looked on with bemusement.

“So that horrible scream was Trixie? Pray tell, what did you do to her?”

“I stuck my head in to check on her, and she was doing your trick with the shower-head to herself … and using my cleaning cloth to, uh, clean another part of herself very thoroughly.” Grinning slightly, Twilight leaned in close and whispered into Luna’s ear. “So I teleported outside and used Frosty Flake’s Foolproof Freezing spell on the hot-water heater.”

“Does that spell not unnaturally chill anything left within its grasp … oh. Oh. Truly, Twilight, that was genius, and also evil. The poor Mare, and I use the term as loosely as I can, will have a terrible cramp after this.”

“And I am going to be coming down from the bathroom smelling like bleach when the Royal Agents show up, because I am going to have to give everything a full disinfection and then …”

“Twilight, simply ask Trixie to clean the bathroom. She made the mess, let her earn her keep under your roof.” The Lunar Princess interrupted, draping a wing over Twilight’s shoulders as the smaller Alicorn began to shake and twitch in the beginnings of a panic-attack. “It will also keep her out of the way while the Royal Agents are here.”

“Luna, we don’t know if she’s infectious. What if she half-asses the cleansing spells or won’t properly clean the shower-head? Faust only knows what might happen if Trixie can breach the species-line and infect Spike, or worst still, one of us! With our false estrus and a possible Succuponi infection on-top of that, we’d go mad with lust and probably cause the eradication of all Ponykind!”

“Hence why Trixie will do the cleaning … and then I will go up and double-check her work. Unlike yourself, my Aspect is already firmly fixed and cannot be changed by anything less than one of the Powers themselves, and as a fully-Ascended Immortal I am less likely to be transformed accidentally by whatever traces of her eagerness to serve her Mistress Twilight that Trixie might leave behind.”

Putting a hoof to her face, Twilight sighed and began the breathing exercises that were becoming all-too-familiar to her.

“I still didn’t have a talk with her about … everything. You and me. Her. Our relationship. Ungh, why is this so awkward? How do I tell her ‘no’ without hurting Trixie?”

“In matters of the heart, Twilight, being hurt is all too common. That we have managed to thus far coast along without wounding one another or those around us is nothing short of a miracle. But then, we’re only less than a week into things.” Luna replied softly, leaning down until their foreheads were as close together as their horns would allow, her billowing mane and tail wrapping around Twilight like cool, satin-like blankets. “The sooner we let Trixie know we are likely to spend at least a year together and are trying to date, the sooner her heart can break, and then heal.”

“Let’s just hope she doesn’t try to take over Ponyville again to get over it …”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Celestia noticed about the mob was that there was a staggering number of cameras out in the crowd today, and somepony had apparently made the call to allow clouds to be brought in low to allow even more Ponies, mostly Pegasi but there were a few Unicorns with cloud-walking spells or enchanted horse-shoes sprinkled amongst them, to cram into the space beneath the balcony that had traditionally be used for the Thrones to speak to their little Ponies.

Tartarus on fire, there were even Ponies sitting on the roof of the castle wings with long-range cameras and recording devices …

Perhaps walking from the armory back to her quarters while wearing the cuirass and greaves along with her normal torc, crown and horse-shoes before heading out to address the nation hadn’t been the best idea, but given that it had been over three centuries since she had last worn anything more than the basic three pieces, Celestia had felt it necessary to get used to restrictions on her movement the armor would impose.

Being partially mystical in nature, the armor would always resize itself to fit her form, but the very fact she was wearing more pieces of her Regalia frightened Celestia on a level that was almost primal. The last time she had worn this much armor had been to almost single-hoofedly turn back an invasion by the Gryphons, and the only time in recorded history she had worn the full set had been during her fight with King Sombra. The times before that ... there had been nopony left to record that history.

Simply wearing this much felt like admitting her dream of global peace and harmony had failed …

“I welcome you, my little Ponies, though I sadly cannot wish you a good morning, for it is not.” Celestia began, hoping her face remained serene and untouched by her doubts and concerns. “As you are all no-doubt aware, yesterday morning, a fiend known as a Succuponi infiltrated Ponyville with the intent to try and corrupt our newest member of Equestria’s royalty, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“With a rapid deployment, two-score Unicorns from the Royal Guard and myself were able to contain the threat, however we were greatly hampered by a number of individuals from Ponyville who apparently did not understand that a Royal Edict is not a request or a sugestion, but the strictest command any Princess can deliver.” Eyes raking the crowd, she could see dozens of small flashes as the cameras captured her likeness, and Princess Celestia forced down the urge to ask them to wait. The sea of flashing lights was dazzling and distracting, and she could not afford to be at anything less than perfection today, or the papers would tear into her, and the Nobles would leverage every mistake in Court against her. “Despite multiple warnings to clear the area, when it became apparent that nothing less than my full focus would contain the Succuponi, the Royal Guards were forced to use their Taser-Spells to drive back the Ponies, including several reporters, from my side as I was channelling a stasis spell powerful enough that many Ponies here no-doubt saw the pillar of light all the way from Canterlot. A spell powerful enough that even I suffered tremendous harm, including bleeding from the horn, from channeling so much power.”

“So before we waste any more time on the matter, I will condense things for you, my little Ponies: Yes, the Royal Guards in question will face independent enquiries as per regulations whenever a Royal Guard comes into conflict with a civilian. Yes, the Ponies who are being charged with refusing to obey a Royal Edict will be given their chance to speak in an open court as to why they felt it necessary to risk not only their lives, but potentially the lives of everypony in Ponyville, by remaining near the site of battle despite multiple attempts to make them to leave the area. And yes, I am wearing a significant portion of my Regalia. You may now ask your questions.”

The crowd roared at her, a half-understood wave of sound that nearly forced Celestia back a step as hundreds of voices hammered at her with a hundred different questions before order was slowly restored by the hard-working Royal Guards, who selected half a dozen reporters from the crowd and gave them microphones that would allow their questions to be heard throughout the crowd.

“Your Majesty, your Majesty, Princess Celestia, is that really the Solar Regalia? Does this mean Equestria is going to war?” The first reported asked, the entire crowd wincing at his volume as his words blared at them from every angle.

“No, my little Pony, we are not going to war. Much as it pains me to wear this armor, and all the connotations that come with it, we have simply had far too many threats appear over the years for me to risk not wearing at least this much of my Regalia, enough that I can focus my full power without risking the backwash of power hurting those around me. Up until this point, I chose to not wear this armor because I wished to help bring about world peace and an end to needless conflicts.” Celestia responded, hoping that her words and intentions would actually reach the Ponies this time, and not merely be lost in the maelstrom of political scheming of the Noble factions and their media puppets. “But with the variety of supernatural and mystical attacks against Equestria in the past few years, I can no longer risk relying solely upon the Royal Guards and Magi alone to protect this nation, and all who dwell within it. As much as it pains me to bear the Regalia, I cannot allow innocents to be left in danger when a few pieces of armor will grant me the ability to safely focus the power of the sun itself without needing complex grounding circles.”

“Your Majesty, does this mean you’ve been risking the fate of the nation simply for your own peace of mind?” The next reporter asked, then flinched as Celestia’s eyes bored into him, the other reporters around him shrinking away from the Stallion and his ill-thought-out question.

“I am going to assume you meant that question with the best of intentions. No, young Stallion, I did not. Imagine yourself living outside of Equestria in another nation. Imagine you must get up every day with the understanding that only a short distance away, a powerful, wealthy nation is ruled by a powerful, immortal being who can freely move both Sun and Moon at her leisure, a rival nation whom you share a border with and one your ancestors have come into conflict with repeatedly in the past, and your people lost every time. If I were to appear before the leaders of the Minotaurs, the Gryphons, the Diamond Dogs or the other leaders of the world garbed for war and speaking of peace, they would either assume I was trying to trick them into lowering their defences before I invaded, or even worse, be utterly cowed by the threat of what I could do to their nations, to their peoples, if they refuse to accept my friendship and treaties.” The Solar Monarch ruffled her wings and tried to keep her features placid as the poor reporter nearly wilted on the spot under her gaze, and that of the assembled Ponies. “At best, I would come across as a benign tyrant and my little Ponies would be tarred with the same brush by a speciest mind. At worst, I and all of Equestria would appear as deadly hypocrites, offering friendship while bearing the tools of war, with the threat of eternal day or night for the world itself if our offers were refused. To best ensure peace for all nations, to prevent the needless loss of sons and daughters, mothers and fathers to the ravages of war, I put my Regalia away, shackled my power and met the leaders of the many nations and races whose world we share as an equal, no greater and no lesser than themselves. And for thousands of years, but a few brief and extraordinary moments in history, it has worked.”

“Today I wear just enough of my Regalia so that should another fiend enter our world and threaten its peoples, I can move immediately and on my own without drawing troops needed to protect the citizens of this nation to aid me. I am forced to wear this armor because yesterday I found that I can no longer count on my little Ponies to think and act rationally on their own.” Celestia continued, sighing heavily and with great feeling as she felt the eyes of the crowd on her more keenly than she had in centuries. “I wear the Regalia because I must now protect my little Ponies from themselves, from a generation who have lost their ability to understand when they are in mortal danger, from reckless individuals amongst our number who do not understand the laws of the land apply to everypony, including themselves.”

“Princess Celestia, what do you have to say to the other nations of the world? If one fiend can slip out of Tartarus, surely others can as well? Will you be leaving the nation to seal up the breach personally?”

Celestia paused to consider her next words carefully. Dictating terms to her own nation was one thing, but the other nations of the world had their own rulers, and their own way of handling matters within their own borders. And they would not take kindly to having her help forced on them, however beneficial her aid might be …

“No doubt the other nations of Equis have been watching the situation carefully, but I would urge them to double their watches on extraplanar activity. Once Sunset Shimmer reveals how she re-entered our world, I will share the information immediately with the leaders of the world, but until then all we can do is apply all of our resources to searching for portals, summoning circles and similar methods of calling entites up from the Prison-Plane, or even other layers of reality.” Wincing internally as she figuratively threw Sunset Shimmer to the wolves, Celestia continued to speak to her Ponies and hoping her voice remained calm and reassuring, not like the roiling pit of doubt in her belly or the flickering phantoms of fear and anger in her mind. “I suspect that, because Sunset Shimmer was not trapped in Tartarus, but had rather left Equestria through an ancient and poorly-understood artifact capable of bridging time and space, the normal countermeasures that prevent travel to and from Tartarus via magic failed to detect her passage. That said, the artifact she used is under heavy lock-and-key in one of the most secure places on the planet, which means our primary focus must be on learning how Sunset Shimmer was able to breach back into our world when the only method that is supposed to be able to achieve this is inert and surrounded by enough magical traps and counter-spells to immobilise an Alicorn or equivalent power.”

“Your Highness, where in the Succuponi right now? Back in Tartarus?” Another reported piped up, waving a recorder towards Celestia and scowling at the Royal Guards as they stepped forwards and forced her hoof, and the recorder, down and away from the Solar Monarch.

“Sunset Shimmer is currently incarcerated within the Cell of Ultimate Confinement, where her magic has been utterly neutralized until such time as we can glean information on how and where she was able to return to Equestria. During her travels, Sunset Shimmer partially transformed another Mare, and thus Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna are taking care of the poor soul. If Twilight’s theory is correct, the victim may hold the key to reversing fiendish transformations, and if this can be done safely, not only the victim, but even Sunset Shimmer herself may be able to be restored to their natural forms.” The Solar Monarch pointed a hoof out into the crowd for emphasis as she strove to calm her little Ponies’ minds and hearts. “If the theory is correct, and I have great faith in Twilight Sparkle’s abilities, then not only can those two Ponies be saved an eternity of languishing in the pits of Tartarus, but we may be able to create a magical ‘antidote’ if you will, a spell or a school of spells designed to neutralize or reverse fiendish transformations. I don’t need to explain how beneficial this would be not just for Ponykind, but all sentient life on the planet. We could effectively inoculate the world from future invasions from the Underrealm.”

“And now I must speak on another matter ... one that is thankfully far more agreeable to us all, I believe. Today, I am happy to announce that Queen Chrysalis, leader of the Changeling Swarm that attacked this very city several months ago has delivered herself to the Border Guard and surrendered her entire Hive to Equestria's courts, including herself and her newborn offspring." Celestia smiled benevolently down at her Ponies as the reporters who had been picked by the Royal Guards were all but torn down by their fellows, all of whom were demanding to ask their questions next, the Solar Monarch finding even herself forced to blink as the sea of Ponies before her exploded with the flashes of cameras. "There is no need to panic, I will answer all your questions, as I always have, and we have all day to do it if we need to take that long."