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I wonder who is worst at public speaking? The awkwardly time-lost Lunar Princess or the Nerdy Newbie with the thesaurus for a vocabulary?

CHAPTER 27

“Princess Luna, Princess Twilight, thank you for coming.” Mayor Mare bowed low, the mayor looking extremely dishevelled and tired as a crowd of Ponies gathered out the front of the smoke-blacked building that had once housed Ponyville’s somewhat bloated public servant department. “The Ponies are nearly assembled, and the Royal Guards have assumed their positions … we aren’t going to have another battle on our hands, are we?”

“Nay, Mayor Mare, the threat has passed for now.” Luna gave her best ‘Court Smile’ to the battered Earth Pony, wincing as she saw the Pony’s shoulder’s sag with relief. “Celestia herself is escorting the Fiend back to Canterlot to a very specific cell designed to hold extremely powerful individuals for long periods of time.”

“That’s … that’s good. Okay, okay, deep breaths.” The mayor muttered, taking several long, measured breaths before looking up. “Princesses … I don’t know what plan you and Princess Celestia have come up with to try and smooth this over, but there are a lot of confused Ponies out there, and confused Ponies look for answers, or failing that, scape-goats. I don’t mean to tell you how to perform your Royal Duties, but I’d suggest giving them some sort of relief, or else there’s going to be a lot of hard feelings come tomorrow. My contacts in Canterlot are telling me the papers are already running stories about Unicorn brutality on my constituents, completely ignoring the fact that Celestia had invoked the Crisis Act and demanded Ponies leave the area.”

“Oh no …” Twilight said, wings drooping. “Let me guess, it’s the Shadow Court, the political party that Blueblood’s father leads?”

“T’would seem so, Twilight. Those vultures will stop at nothing to discredit my sister. An irony that they would use so-called ‘Unicorn’ brutality as a weapon against her, when they themselves dream of Unicorn domination over the other two Tribes.”

“Well, there’s a lot of reporters out there demanding answers, your Highnesses, and they’re the sort of scum who’ll try to paint this in the most negative light they can to get a top-selling story, and some of our more eccentric residents are up in arms as well.” The mayor explained as the leader of the unit of Royal Guards tapped on the microphone and started with the long list of rules for a Royal Interview. “I do not envy either of you. It’s a den of Timber-Wolves out there.”

“We beat a soul-sucking Fiend, brought Friendship to the Aspect of Chaos, purged a Nightmare Spirit, defeated a Dark Sorcerer turned into living shadow and helped defeat a Changeling Queen. How hard can it be?” Twilight muttered as Luna coughed, put on her ‘Court’ face and ascended the short flight of steps up onto the podium.

Oh Twilight, you have no idea what we’re in for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dear Ponies, you all have many questions, and we have much to do today, so I will make this quick, then you may ask your questions.” Luna spoke loudly, ignoring the odd cat-call and boo-ing from a handful of Ponies at the back with only an annoyed flick of her ears. “Today, a Succuponi that was formerly Sunset Shimmer, a known Unicorn supremacist and Traitor to the Realm, snuck into Ponyville with the intent of corrupting Princess Twilight Sparkle into one of her own depraved kind. Through the efforts of Celestia and a team of Canterlot’s best combat-mages, as well as Twilight Sparkle herself, the fiend was subdued without being able to harm anypony, and is currently being shipped back to Canterlot, where she will be placed into the Cell of Ultimate Confinement until we have a clearer understanding of how she re-entered our world, and if it is possible to reverse her transformation from Pony into Fiend. You, the Pony in the red base-ball cap, you may ask the first question.”

“Thank you, your Highness. What is your statement to claims of brutality towards Earth Ponies by the Unicorns Celestia brought with her?”

“The only reason the Guards were forced to use their taser-spells was because Celestia had invoked the Crisis Act, and those same Ponies had refused to obey not only my sister, possibly the single highest authority in the realm, but the Royal Guards she had with her, Mayor Mare of Ponyville and the assembled civil servants of the town, whose only orders to the civilians was to flee the town to avoid them being injured or possibly killed in the fighting.” The Lunar Princess spoke up, loudly and with more than a hint of contempt in her voice, frowning slightly as her gaze slid across the assembled Ponies. “Perhaps I need to remind you all that under the Crisis Act, which to my knowledge, has only needed to be invoked three times in the past thousand years, any Pony who refuses to obey the commands of a soldier, civil servant or member of the Royalty faces a penalty of six months of hard labour unless they can prove that the commands were unjust or were not in the spirit of protecting the civilian population from harm. And I doubt 'stubborn-ness' counts as a valid reason for disobedience during such a time of crisis.”

“That’s not answering the question, your Highness.” The cap-wearing Reporter shouted back.

“No, it is not, but I am getting to it. To the question of ‘brutality’, yes the Royal Guards involved will be subjected to the same independent inquiries that all soldiers and guards-ponies are when incidents of civilians and military personnel come into conflict. That said, I personally cannot see any of them being charged, given that if the Ponies claiming brutality had fulfilled their legal obligations in the first place, to obey the orders to run away from the rampaging Demon in the middle of their town, they would never have been in any danger in the first place and never have had to have been driven off with anti-riot spells.” The Lunar Princess’s voice dripped with contempt, her eyes shooting to several Ponies in the crowd who showed scorch-marks on their coats, none of whom met her eyes for long. “Perhaps in my absence, much has changed much amongst Ponykind, but how did some of you lose the ability to comprehend when you are in mortal danger?”

“That’s hardly fair!” Another Pony up at the back of the crowd shouted. Carrot Top, if Twilight wasn’t mistaken, one of the more combative Ponies in Ponyville, if her interactions with the Apple Family were to be taken seriously.

“Fair, little Pony? How is it fair that the Guardsponies were forced to physically evict Ponies from the scene, repeatedly in some cases, after Princess Celestia personally told them to, and I quote, ‘Run for their lives!’. Considering the situation involved a high-level binding spell that would have been visible from the other side of Equestria, a giant pillar of condensed sunlight several miles tall and wider than the Ponyville Library? How is it fair that the Royal Guardsponies were maimed by the Succuponi’s spell-fire because they were protecting the Ponies who, instead of following logic and common sense and obeying the Royal Command, chose instead to try to distract Princess Celestia as she tried to secure a Fiend with the capacity to infect dozens of Ponies with physical contact and turn them into her own kind? How is it fair that Celestia herself was almost killed because one Pony would not shut up about …” Luna paused, pulled a sheaf of papers from the cubby-hole in the podium and read them quickly. “… ah yes, the all-important question of ‘Who is going to recompense me for not being able to sell my carrots’.”

Twilight felt guilty about the surge of amusement she felt watching Carrot Top wilt under the stunned and angry looks of the Ponies around her.

“And lest we forget, a pair of young fillies demanding that Celestia sign their Cutie Marks and whom needed four Guards to drag away from Celestia, one of whom threw such a fit that she proceeded to bite the Guardspony carrying her so badly he required several stitches to his throat afterwards.” At the back of the pack of Ponies, Filthy Rich coloured heavily and swatted the pouting Diamond Tiara at his side across the back of her head, his mouth moving, but too far away for Twilight to read his lips. “And of course the reporter who demanded an interview with Celestia in the middle of her casting a spell so powerful that it made her bleed from the horn. AS SHE WAS RISKING HER OWN LIFE TO SAVE YOU ALL. Next. Question.”

Luna tapped the sheaf of papers and gave an expectant look to the reporter, who looked decidedly nervous, looking around himself and noting that all eyes were upon him, the sole Pony standing up at that point.

“Your Highness?” A Mare on the other side of the gathering raised a hoof.

“Yes, the young Mare with the … bird-hat?” Luna pointed to the Mare, who wore some bizarre, overly-adorned frilly hat with a massive, sequinned brim and long white feathers that made it look as if an albino peacock had nested on her head, as the cap-wearing Reporter sunk back down onto his seat, shaking nervously.

“Why were you and Princess Twilight in Ponyville?”

“Ah, I was wondering when that would come up. Twilight and I were in the Everfree Forest, where Twilight has been training to handle her greatly-increased magic. The properties of the wild magic of the region would disperse any uncontrollable magic ‘surges’ Twilight might suffer, and the area’s proximity to Ponyville and a train-station, allowed for easy access back to Canterlot via a land-route if the situation required it.”

“Were you not concerned that Twilight could have been a danger to the town? If her magic had grown so strong it was ‘surging’, wouldn’t someplace like the Badlands be more suitable for somepony that dangerous?” The mare with the odd-looking hat asked, scowling at Twilight. “Why is Princess Celestia still showing such blatant favouritism to one Pony, when so many younger Ponies who are much better suited to the position of Royal Student are ignored or turned down?”

Wait, what? Twilight thought, blinking in surprise at the venom in the Mare’s voice.

“Twilight Sparkle’s magic is not a danger, not with the wild magic of the Everfree Forest counteracting her spells, as well as my own efforts to help her understand her new power, and she has already grasped most of her new limitations.” Luna replied, her voice carefully neutral as she locked eyes with the venomous Mare. “In regards to Celestia not taking on a new student, my sister has chosen to not take on any more students until Twilight is fully prepared for the many arduous duties her new role as a member of the Royal Family will entail. I would also point out that her doing so is not custom nor some sort of immutable tradition, but simple Celestia noticing somepony of unusual talent and taking them under her wing.”

“While I would not dare to consider I know my sister’s mind, perhaps there is simply nopony among the Ponies petitioning her who have the potential or talent that would necessitate Celestia taking the time out of running Equestria to take over their training personally.”

Ow. I think that Mare will need some long sleeves for that burn. Twilight fought to keep from making any expression as the furious, bird-hatted Mare turned a shade of red that would have made a tomato proud and stormed away. Now that I think about it, Celestia hasn’t taken on any other students, and I’m already nineteen …

“Next Question. You, the Gentlepony with the black-and-pink mane.”

“Princess Luna, what do you have to say about the rumours that you’re a Vampony, not an Alicorn.”

“… What in Faust’s name are you talking about, and how does this have anything to do with what happened in Ponyville today?”

“Well, you’re out in the sun and your mane and tail are sparkling …”

“… My mane and tail are representations of my dominion over the night and all things that dwell in the sky then. You know, like stars, moons, comets? Things that twinkle, and dare I say it, sparkle? Next Question, and please stay on topic.”

“Princess Luna, Princess Luna! Over here!”

“Yes, the Pony in the floral vest.” Luna pointed to the new speaker, ignoring the pleading eyes of the pink-and-black maned Stallion.

Oh dear Faust no, is he holding that horrible … ugh, it’s a ‘Twi-bite’ omnibus. No wonder, that author tried to claim all Bat-Ponies were Vamponies, and Luna was the Queen of them all. Well … she wasn’t wrong about Luna being the supreme leader of all Thestrals, but by Celestia’s Beard I’d love to set every last one of those horrid books she writes on fire and put a geas on her to never write or dictate a story again!

“Will the Royal Family be compensating Ponies for lost business due to Princess Celestia disrupting trade by fighting this ‘succuponi’ in the middle of town? And wasn’t that very reckless of her?”

“Uh, Luna, can I field this one?” Twilight asked, stepping up to Luna’s side as she noticed a very large vein in the side of Luna’s head throbbing madly.

“Yes. Yes you may, Twilight, consider this a test on how to handle a hostile press-release.” Luna grated, stepping to the side and then back two steps, leaving Twilight alone at the podium.

“Ah … right, well … Unfortunately, Sunset was already in town, and nobody realised it was her due to being disguised and wearing a set of magical garments that supressed her magical signature.” Twilight stammered into the microphone, looking out over the staring Ponies with a sinking feeling in her guts. “When we realised who and what she was, she was already in the Golden Oaks library’s basement, with Luna and myself trying to keep her contained until Princess Celestia could arrive to take Sunset into custody.”

“Surely you could have taken her outside of the town, however? You are famous for your ability to teleport after all, Twilight, oh, forgive me, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” The Mare smiled falsely at Twilight, who blinked back in surprise.

What is with these Ponies? Twilight thought to herself, aghast at the vitriolic attitudes on display. It’s like we’re on trial before a lynch-mob!

“Uhm, you’re correct that I can teleport, but I can only teleport myself, and maybe one or two passengers. I was only able to teleport myself, Rarity, Applejack and Spike a few meters away from the library before we suffered serious mana-burn and were ejected back into real-space.” Fighting the urge to snap back at the Mare, Twilight explained herself, hoping that the next questions would be considerably less … accusatory. “Also, according to the ancient texts and Luna’s own warnings, Succuponies were able to corrupt Mares into others of their kind via mouth-to-mouth contact, with an unknown incubation period before the victim would begin to morph into another Succuponi. And I can only teleport another being that I’m touching when I cast the spell. Throwing myself into a teleport with a hostile being who is almost as strong as I am magically would be suicide under the best of circumstances, let alone these ones.”

“How so?” The floral-vest-wearing Mare asked, as dozens of reporters scribbled down on note-pads frantically.

“Well, assuming that the Succuponi didn’t take the opportunity to just make the contact and corrupt me before I could even start the teleport, the teleportation spell breaks a Pony down into a … let’s call it a cloud of magical particles embedded with the ‘details’ of the Pony who is being teleported, and sends it hurtling forwards through Equestria’s ley-lines until the spell is cancelled, the caster’s magical energies are exhausted or some other phenomina occurs and they are ejected from the ley-line.”

“Now, you add multiple life-forms to that spell, and the difficulty increases dramatically. You have to fit all those ‘details’ of the life-forms within the spell without mixing them up, or leaving ‘details’ out of the cloud, and then send it through the ley-lines. It’s a lot harder, there’s a huge number of risks involved, and I’m one of the few Ponies who holds a S+ Class teleportation license, which gives me the authority to make a multi-being teleportation jump. Ponies who can’t handle the theory aren’t allowed to even study the spells because there’s a lot of room for some very … squickish ends if you’re not careful with the spell. Ponies fusing into walls, trees, even other creatures because they didn’t set the spell to avoid pre-existing matter at the designated ‘expel’ zone, Ponies teleporting multiple organisms without the right precautions and killing themselves and their passengers when they are reformed into a single body ...”

“If I had cast the teleportation spell, and Sunset Shimmer tried to dispel it mid-teleport, we could have blown apart and taken most of Ponyville with us as our magic detonated from the backlash of the failed spell, we could have gotten halfway into the ley-lines before the spell failed and been dispersed into the ley-lines, releasing Alicorn-magic and corruptive Succuponi-magic into the environment, causing who-knows-what damage to the animals and Ponies nearby, we could have fused together and become an unstoppable monstrosity, given that I am the Bearer of the Element of Magic and an immortal Alicorn to boot, and without the Elements to fight back, the Sunset/Twilight Fusion could have caused tremendous damage before the Royal Guards could have taken it … me … down, well let’s just say that trying to draw Sunset Shimmer out of the town had a lot more cons to it than keeping her contained in a magically reinforced basement, away from a town full of innocent, unsuspecting Ponies.”

Twilight had the profound ‘honor’ of watching several score Ponies all drop their note-pads from limp hooves, throw up or faint dead away.

“Too much information?” Twilight asked, looking to Luna for support, who had also turned a very pale shade under her dark fur.

“Possibly, Twilight. Incidentally, we are never teleporting together. Ever.”

“Luna, I can do~”

“EVER. I enjoy spending time with you Twilight, but I do not wish to be ‘joined at the hip’ with you in that manner!”

“Oh …” Twilight said, looking back over the crowd of pale-faced or retching Ponies with a nervous, twitching grimace spreading across her face. “Uh … next question?”