Chapter 30: The Incredibly Worrisome Morning of Wondered Mistakes

Maybe it was me being human, and thus capable of extremely dark thoughts that ponies just didn’t seem to be able to comprehend, but Tia’s plan to dissuade Twilight from the notion that the sun goddess was the personification of pony perfection didn’t seem all that bad when she got done explaining it to me. I did think it was a little on the drastic side, but...after Twilight’s reaction the night before, I don’t think Celestia wanted to be subtle. It wouldn’t leave her with a broken heart at least.

If it did, I would have had to dethrone the woman. Tia may have been my best friend, but Twilight was Twilight.

Not that it was that benign. In fact, it would probably would make Twilight a gibbering mess as Celestia took a sledgehammer to the Greek statue of perfection that Twilight saw her as and replaced it with…well…Tia, but I doubted it would cause any lasting damage. Except for the slight possibility of Twilight’s desire to actually be with Celestia once everything was said and done. There was the small chance the goddess might actually manage to kill that when Twilight got it through her head that Celestia wasn’t perfect.

Of course, I already knew Celestia was a wise and thoughtful leader with the intelligence of raisin when it came to dealing with all the dangerous shit that threatened Equestria. Case in point, when I told her that Discord had attempted to murder Twilight and Dash by proxy using a giant fucking worm…

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

…she literally started rolling on the floor, and laughing out loud.

I let out a groan and waited for the goddess of the sun and obliviousness to danger finally calmed down and let out a long sigh. “Oh did I need that,” she said before another chuckle escaped her lips. “You think Discord plans things? And here I thought you knew something about us. Discord is like a dog chasing a car in one of your movies, he just does something that suits him at that moment. Consider what he is for a moment Omnifarious. Discord is incapable of planning. While what happened was…disturbing, it was not some convoluted plan to try and kill anyone. Heavens, I don’t even think he could actually do that either, kill another creature I mean. Death is…an end to the randomness of life. Such a thing is probably abhorrent to him.”

If anything, that only made me more unnerved. “You do realize that argument makes it impossible for him to have friends, right?” I asked. A good chunk of friendship was based off forethought, and the ability to think of how others would feel about one's actions, it was why people weren’t jackasses to each other, or only thought about themselves. If everyone was just concerned with instant gratification, we’d never even get around to wanting to hear the words ‘thank you’ from another.

But…I suppose Tia had a point, if somewhat indirectly.

Discord liked to make ponies suffer. He was a sadistic bastard that took joy out of ruining their lives and probably got hard out of messing with five of the six mares that kicked his ass the most. On top of which, he had a need to prove to himself that he was smarter or better, or…whatever than his opponents. He could have beaten all the girls easily when he first showed up instead of posing a riddle and a contest, if a rigged one. But doing so ‘proved’ his superiority.

In a way, it was just like with Fluttershy being his friend. He needed the acknowledgement of another to be proof that he was actually worth something. Probably because everything else was so easy for him. Just like destroying Berry’s house.

It was easy, but the fact that he got away with it, and was too ‘sick’ afterwards to clean it up? Well, that was another victory over the ponies. And he could still be Fluttershy’s friend after just going ‘I’m sorry’ with some fake tears added in. An all around win for the monster.

Hell, the bastard even made Fluttershy stay home to take care of him instead of letting her go be with her friends. Making Fluttershy choose between us and him, and playing the sympathy card to prove she liked him more. Another win for Discord’s twisted ego.

Of course, Tia just gave me a dismissive wave. “Very well, if you insist I do something,” she said before standing back up. “I will tell Discord he is no longer allowed to use his magic in Ponyville, or measures will be taken against him. On top of which, Fluttershy must accompany him at all times should he wish to return.”

I frowned at the second one. “What measures? Last I checked, the girls had to give up the Elements of Harmony, and I don’t think picking the Tree’s fruit is going to work a second time around.” Although…there was that box thing, and none of the jewels had turned back into their original shape after being inserted in their respective slots. Did that mean the girls were still connected with them somehow?

“Do you honestly think I would have let Discord out if I did not have more than one countermeasure to his presence in place?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow. “Have some faith. Equestria is far better defended than the first time he broke free. You have seen the power of the Crystal Heart for yourself, and four alicorn princesses are present now instead of just two. If need be, the four of us…even Luna and myself can deal with him if we are willing to make…sacrifices.”

Despite what Celestia was saying, the way she said it didn’t make me feel all better. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Celestia sighed. “Despite the type of magic one uses, energy is still energy, and a strong will can bring order to chaos,” she told me before sitting back down. “Now, we still have a bit of the night left, I want to watch a movie. I think I’ve actually come to enjoy those violent things you humans consider entertainment. At least better than your version of…love stories.”

“Says the sparkling white immortal being that has kept everyone away for centuries to become a tragically said-hey, hey! That’s my ear!” I cried out as she pinched in said place and tugged my head down and pulled me into a hug with one arm like we had usually sat since…

Well…probably since our nightly meetings had turned into nightly…pseudo-date…things.

“Just start the movie.”

I tried to get her to say more on the subject of her anti-Discord plan, but the goddess wouldn’t bring it up no matter how much I pestered her for details for the rest of the night.

Morning came, and I spent a bit of time in the hive mind before my body started feeling a light jostling. I opened my eyes to both Twilight and Dash moving around for a few seconds before the alicorn looked over and undid the magical spell keeping Rainbow from snoring her awake all night.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” Twilight replied in a slur that told me she was barely awake before she rolled away from us. Apparently, she still wanted a few seconds of shuteye.

“Sup.”

I giggled at the blue pony’s response, and kissed Rainbow on the cheek before interlocking our fetlocks. “So, you enjoy last night?”

Rainbow’s eyes widened for half a second, then she smiled. “Yeah…that was pretty cool. Way better than normal…uh, lunch with you.”

With Twilight still out of it, and Rainbow right next to me, I put up a noise dampening field around us and looked the pegasus in the eye. There was no way I was going to let Twilight hear what I was about to say. “Listen, Rainbow…this thing with Celestia. If you’re uncomfortable about it, just say the word and we’ll back off, or wait, or…whatever you want.”

It wasn’t exactly fair to Twilight, but...Cadence had laid down the law to these herd relationships from day one. If everyone didn’t sign off on them, then it was a no go. And I wasn’t about to force Rainbow Dash into anything.

Before I could try and come up with something to at least make it sound like I was not trying to ruin Twilight’s Tia dating dreams, Dash shook her head. “No it’s cool,” she said. “I mean, Twilight and me talked while you were gone with Fluttershy and…she told me she agreed to try this thing that the three of us got out because you liked me. If she wants to do this thing with Celestia, I can’t exactly say no, you know?”

I tensed at her words. Rainbow…it was one of the things that infuriated me about her. She just…did things for her friends at the expense of herself, like teaming up with Fluttershy for the Equestria Games. And…okay, she liked making her friends happy more than she liked doing things for herself, I got that. She kind of pounded it into me when we were at Rainbow Falls with her actions.

But walking into a relationship just because Twilight was having a Celestia fangasm was just a bit too much for me to chalk up to an altruistic streak. Yeah, I said yes too, but I had kind of already been with Tia…more or less. “Rainbow…that’s not the same.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re Rainbow Dash!” she said in imitation of my current voice rather than Flash Sentry’s. “You are like, the fastest flier ever! And you broke all those records at the Wonderbolt academy, I am so your biggest fan ever!”

I frowned at her as the pegasus got done repeating what I had said when we first met…and maybe I blushed a little. “I…um…”

Okay, I really had nothing to say to that. Plus…the fact Rainbow Dash had just beaten me in an argument might have helped with adding to my silence. “Point taken.”

“Plus, you know,” Rainbow Dash added with a blush. “It is Princess Celestia, she’s like the hottest thing on four legs. Huge wings, giant plot, and her mane and tail are just awesome. And uh…she’s pretty cool. I mean, now that we’ve actually talked to her a few times, her jokes are uh…kinda lame though. But if she thinks we can work all this out…why not? I’m up for giving it a try.”

The conversation died then and there as Rainbow tightened her leg around mine.

And I as much as I hated to admit it, she had a point. I may have not of been the one to suggest her addition to our relationship, but it was only because Twilight beat me to it. Hell, I doubted I would have ever of even had the balls to ask.

If Twilight wanted us to chase after Tia, and Rainbow was okay with it…I could give it a shot. We saw enough of each other anyway, and…yeah, that sunbutt of hers was pretty hot. If it wasn’t for her godlike power, me already being with Twilight, and fact she was twice as big as me, I probably would have gone after her to ‘seal’ the alliance between our two peoples in my more lust-filled fantasies.

Although, there was one other person I wanted to talk to about this whole thing. Without everyone involved agreeing with it, I didn’t care what plans Tia made, or how much Twilight wanted it, we were backing off.

And the four of us weren’t the only ones this relationship would affect on a personal level.

“Okay,” I said, still pretty hesitant. I looked over to Twilight as she snuggled deeper into the covers, and then back to Dash. “I think I need to go um…do something.”

Before Rainbow could ask what, I rolled out of bed and onto the floor, taking the sphere of silence with me so my hooves didn’t disturb Dash or Twilight on my way out.

“Hey Egghead, time to wake up,” I heard the pegasus’s voice from the room once I got out into the hallway and let my spell die.

“Ah! R-Rainbow! Not the wings!” the alicorn cried out in pleasured surprise before I closed the door.

“Oh no, I’m getting you back for calling me a squealer last night! You yell way louder.”

I dropped my disguise and unfolded my real wings to let them buzz around a bit before stretching a little to get the kinks of my body from the night before. Not that there really were any once I changed. Shapesifting tended to get rid of that kind of stuff, ruffles in my hair, any blemishes on a coat that no longer existed, and everything else that made me look imperfect. Then, once Twilight redid her spell, I’d be good as new and fully groomed.

Luckily, it kept me from needing to bend over backwards to comb hair that might as well have been proportionally long as Celestia’s. Tangled manes were no joke, and I did my best to refresh my body every day to avoid them. Even Rainbow kept hers up enough to keep them from appearing in too many numbers.

Unfortunately, that same magic made me look super hot and kept my pheromone production so high every pony in town wanted me. Enen the girls, apparently.

After I had got done limbering up, I jogged over to Sunset’s room a little ways down the hall, and knocked on the door.

“Who is-ugh,” the English-speaking human grumbled. “Just a second so you can fucking understand me.”

I cracked open the door to allow my voice to carry in. “It’s me Sunset, are you decent?”

There was some shuffling around for a few more seconds before I heard a reply. “I’m covered.”

After going into the room, I found out that she was being literal. Sunset had wrapped the bed covers around her body to hide her nudity. I…managed to think it was acceptable. “Hey girl.”

“Haven’t seen you like that in awhile,” Sunset told me before her expression became a little worried. “What’s going on?”

I made my way to her bed and took a second to eye the little black magic made Sunset Shimmer unicorn figurine on her nightstand. “Just didn’t want you scratching my ear and putting me out of commission that way,” I told her with a smile before becoming serious. “But um…you know what’s going on with Celestia and well…us? The whole...courting thing?”

She nodded. “We talked about it a few days ago, before I left with you and Flutters. And…last night after Luna...you know. Kinda soon if you ask me, but hell, you went after Rainbow from day one. So…why not?”

I had to wonder why everyone had to keep mentioning that. It was just...preemptive, not wasn’t some spur of the moment thing. I knew that someone else would have swooped in and snatched Rainbow up if I didn’t do anything first.

Either that, or she would have gone after someone, even with her confidence when it came to her looks…which I really needed to find the reason behind. If someone made Rainbow feel like she was ugly, I was going to fucking mutilate their faces, show them the damage in the mirror, smash the mirror with said face, and make them eat the shattered shards that I had broken with their own ugly mug.

Thanks to the distraction my mind provided for me, it took a second to realize Sunset hadn’t actually answered my question.

“And?”

“And what?”

I gulped. “Are you okay with it? Celestia with me and Twilight and Rainbow.”

She was Celestia’s kid after all. She had almost as much say as Tia getting into a relationship as her mom did in my opinion. That was one of the burdens that came with parenthood, and I didn't care if Sunset was seventeen, twenty, or two-thousand. She would be consulted on the matter.

Sunset gave me a frown, and I used my non-messed up changeling empathy to get a read on her emotions, which only made less sense when I just picked up confusion coming from her as she spoke. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because your mom is trying to date three different ponies at once?” I asked rhetorically. “One of them being me, and the other is Twilight. Not to mention Rainbow. Aren’t you a little…something?” Jealous? Regretful? Creeped out that your mom is dating girls that were younger than she was supposed to be.

She reached over to run her fingers through my hair and then moved to touch my ears. Thankfully, my chitin protected from her human ear scratch that could take down a pony in seconds. “Wow it even covers your ears,” Sunset mumbled before she moved her hand over and down to my neck. “That’s um…didn’t expect you to be this smooth.”

That line…oh God if had been anyone else but Sunset…

“Sunset,” I spoke up to get her attention. “Are you okay with this?”

The human let out a groan. “Yes, I’m fine with all of you getting it on with Celestia. Geeze!” she grumbled as curiosity turned to annoyance. “What’s your deal with that?”

“I’m just worried about you,” I told her in a soft voice. “I know the trip kind of put you off with that whole pet thing, and you’re upset I’m not getting unicorn transformation magic as fast as you want me too, but…” Well, I really didn’t have a follow-up to that.

And…I had been slacking on the job the past couple of days on that angle. It may have been a false hope, but Sunset didn’t know that. Just shoving it off to the side like I had been…running off to learn about the breezies, dealing with Discord, and now running off to date Celestia…

“Oh great, more pity,” Sunset replied as she pulled up her legs and hugged herself. “Look, it’s not…” she grumbled before stopping without even really beginning. “And Mom? Do you know what we talk about?”

I winced. “Not really. I ask Celestia about it when she comes over, but she just says you’re…getting by. What you and Tia have, that’s yours and hers. I don’t have any right to pry into that.”

Sunset let out a snort. “Getting by…that’s me,” she mumbled before I Smelled the depression kick in. In false pony form, I wouldn’t have been able to pick it up, but as a changeling, all things emotional were open to me when I bothered to sniff them out.

“Whoa, Sunset,” I said softly as I put a holey hoof up on her bed. “What’s wrong? I know this is hard for you, and I’m sorry I’ve been pulled in so many directions lately that I’ve been neglecting my responsibilities to you.”

The girl took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. “No, that’s okay.”

How she said it told me something else. “No it’s not. And, I’m sorry for that. Tomorrow, I promise, I’ll spend the whole day working on magic, super study cram session!” With it being the weekend, we could get tons done. “Me and Twilight, and hell, I can maybe even drag Celestia down here. It might be a little awkward so soon after our...date…” Or very awkward if things went wrong...or…

Well...I had slept with Twilight after our first go around.

And Tia did say she hated to waste time...

Oh God, I thought to myself as yet another thought entered my head. Just how were we supposed to...satisfy her? Tia was fucking huge! Me, Twilight and Dash would have to team up just to perform the proper amount of stimulation.

And God only knew how much stamina she had.

Sunset’s fingers continued to play with my hair, and let the awkward silence continue for a few seconds. “Are you okay with it?”

I looked up at the human. “Say what?”

“Celestia, I mean…are you okay with it?” she asked. “Her and Twilight.”

The question made me actually stop and think for a moment.

Was I okay with it?

Really okay, I mean.

Me and the girls had been together less than a week, and truthfully…I didn’t even know if I was okay with that! When it first happened, I was just too caught up with Ponies! and Herding! and two girls for one guy! It was the dream of every man at one point in their life.

However, it wasn’t the threesome every guy dreamed of, with two females of the species being infatuated with him and him alone. Yeah, it was still two girls and one guy, but each of the girls also got one girl and one guy too. And with it being TwiDash…I could take the loss of attention from Twilight, especially since I got to see them make out.

The dynamic we had right now was still a little rough, what with me being left in the cold and unsatisfied the night before. But I was confident we could work out the kinks. However, if Celestia was added to the mix…I really had to think about it for a minute.

I loved Twilight Sparkle. It wasn’t a crazy gaga affection that I kind of had for Dash, but steady and solid. A plain and simple fact about the universe. The sky was blue, grass was green, and I would do anything for a purple pony princess.

I…really liked Rainbow Dash. I was absolutely crazy for her, but I also wasn’t some kid that decided crap like that inside of a few days. I adored her, I told myself I would always support her, and I would fucking murder anyone who put a tear in that pegasus’s eye, yes. But when I looked at my feelings for her, really looked, the half-infatuation, half-affection I had for her wasn’t the rock of steady and unyielding emotion I had for Twilight. I wanted it to be more, and with time I knew it probably would be more than a blazing passion I felt for her, but I was afraid it could also burn out as well.

And Celestia…I really didn’t know what to think. Last night I was just thankful we had fallen back into our regular routines instead of experimenting to see how real a dream could feel. She was my best friend, as weird as that sounded to the me of the past that pointed to all the times of crises that she royally fucked up. She was hot, desirable, smart, half-funny, kind and understanding, and the thought of sleeping with her did turn me on, but at the same time…it was Celestia. She was a goddess that counted her age in millennia, ruled a nation, controlled the fucking sun, and did it all without becoming some corrupted despot. Honestly, despite all her smiles, desire to be friends, and sense of humor…she was still as intimidating as fuck.

Hell, after considering that, I could actually understand a little about how Twilight was infatuated with her. She had been with the goddess for years, and familiarity bred some level of ease. Sure, Twilight freaked out when she thought she let the goddess down, but that just seemed to be even more proof of her infatuation.

And of course, that little thought brought me to another.

Twilight Sparkle was infatuated with Celestia.

I…didn’t really like the thought of that for some reason. It wasn’t because of the student to teacher bond either. That, I understood. What I didn’t like about it was…Twilight staring at another pony with sparkling eyes.

I didn’t like the loss of attention.

Maybe it was because I was a human-turned-changeling.

Ponies could share…pretty much everything, apparently. Even the whole herding thing hadn’t caused an uproar amongst Equestria in the past few days, and I’m pretty sure I saw the flower girls huddled around a table. They had either been on a date, or plotting which guy they were going to snag.

Human-turned-changeling? I was greedy. I wanted it all in excess, the sex and attention, and all that other stuff. It was okay for me to get all hot over Dash, sleep with Twilight, and have sex fantasies about doing both princesses at the same time. But Twilight turning wet at the thought of Celestia? It kind of made me uncomfortable.

Because it wasn’t me she was going gaga over.

The feeling was wrong, petty, pretty damn hypocritical on top of stupid, and I knew that…but it was there, that part of my primal human upbringing that just shouted GIMME MORE! and MINE! MINE! ALL MINE!

“You okay?”

Sunset’s question grew me out of my thoughts, and I looked up at her. “Um…yeah, I was just…lost in thought.”

“And?” She prompted. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I let out a dejected sigh and rested my head on Sunset’s bed. “Let’s just say…theory and application are two very different things.”

And the more I thought about it…the more I knew this herding thing was going to turn out to be a disaster.

“THIS IS A DISASTER!”

Back in my pseudo pony form, I winced at Twilight’s shouting as she fought with her old gala dress to try and make everything fit properly. Although, it appeared to be a losing battle since her alicornination had apparently made my little pony put on a bit of weight. All muscle of course.

Twilight stumbled around in the thing that bulged more than a bit at the front, came up a little too high around her legs, and strained somewhat at the back as she tried adjustment after adjustment that knocked something else off kilter once she got one thing set proper. It had stopped being funny after the first two minutes.

As the little goddess fought with her formalwear in front of the dresser in our bedroom and checked herself out in the nearby mirror before she groaned at the latest problem her newest fix had caused, I sat on our bed and sighed at the sight. “I thought you said Rarity made adjustments for something.”

In response, Twilight looked over to me and unfolded her wings and didn’t manage to crimp the back of her dress where the star saddle design was placed. Then she folded her wings back down…and I had to hold in a giggle when their slightly tilted positioning messed with the back of her gown. That problem was at least new.

“Okay, so I kept putting the major alterations off because I didn’t want to have to stand around in Rarity’s shop all day,” the goddess grumbled. “Especially after I saw what she did to you the last time we were there. I didn’t know that Princess Celestia was going to ask me out on a date!”

I decided not to point out that I could have just changed into her, and had Rarity do the work like that. The last thing I wanted was to add to her stress. Or put myself in her crosshairs.

So I offered solutions instead. Better to offer solutions than state problems after all. “What about your coronation dress?” I knew that had to fit her alicon-sized body.

“Too new!” Twilight declared before continued to fuss with her dress. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Rarity, its that you never wear the same thing twice for an important event without a set amount of time!”

I sighed. “And your gala dress is-”

“Retro!” Twilight exclaimed.

My time with Rarity said Twilight was misusing the term, but…I didn’t want to get into an argument with her over nothing. “What about that cute little thing you had at your birthday party?”

Twilight whirled on me, her face aghast. “I…I can’t wear something like that for a date with Princess Celestia!” she exclaimed. “It’s too simple, and plain, and-and common! I can’t go on a date with Celestia in a common dress!”

Which is what she wants Twilight, I thought to myself. But, could I tell Twilight that?

No, Tia wanted to show the little goddess what she wanted.

Plus, I…didn’t really want to mess with Twilight when she was like this. Had to remember that.

I sighed again. “What about that white thing Tia sent over awhile ago?”

“Not retro!” the little goddess reminded me while wiggling her butt at the mirror in front of her to work out some problem I couldn’t even tell existed.

I groaned. “Twilight-”

“Hey, where’s your dress anyway?” she suddenly asked me.

I tensed. “Um…Rarity hasn’t finished-”

“Not the coronation one she’s making, the one Princess Celestia sent you,” she corrected before going back to fuss over her ill-fitting garment. “I know we really shouldn’t have you wear it again so soon, but you really don’t have any others and-”

“I burned it,” I reminded her. Sure, I wasn’t supposed to get rid of gifts from a friend, but…Tia and me hadn’t really been friends at the time and…well she had been trolling me.

For a second, Twilight stopped moving. Then, ever so slowly, she turned back to face me. Her eye twitched ever so slightly. “You…what?”

I gulped down my fear. “Oh come on!” I said while trying to fake a little cheer. “You know those things were wedding dresses and-”

“YOU BURNED A DRESS GIVEN TO YOU BY PRINCESS CELESTIA?” Twilight shouted in my face.

I cringed.

She glared.

And kept talking. “I can’t believe you! How could you do something like that?!” Twilight demanded as she stomped up to me, her Scent a massive mix of confusion, anger, and panic. “Now what’re you supposed to wear, what’re you supposed to DO? You can’t show up…naked!”

Once again, I sighed. “Twilight-”

A hoof pressed against my mouth and nose cut me off. “Wait,” she said before frowning in thought for a moment as I listened to her mumble to herself. “Can’t let you go without clothes…can’t cancel…solution, need a solution…” Then, I could practically see the light bulb go off above her head. “You got sick!”

I blinked, and pushed the purple pony’s hoof away from my schnoz. “Say what?”

“We’ll tell Princess Celestia you got sick and couldn’t come!” Twilight exclaimed in a desperate hope. “You’ve been sick before and nopony knew what caused it! We can do it without arousing any suspicion, and order a dress from Rarity when she gets back from hitting on my brother so you’ll be ready for our next date! Everypony wins!”

As the alicorn looked at me with glee at ‘solving’ out little problem, I kept myself from frowning at being shoved to the side in order for her to let Twilight keep up her perfect date idea-thing with Celestia going. Because…she let me chase after Rainbow Dash.

If she wanted to fangasm over some other pony, I didn’t have the right to say no. And…it was Celestia, her idol since she had been…well… Okay, turnabout was fair play and all that, but I was still more than a little put off by my little pony’s actions.

But it was because of her that I roped Rainbow Dash. She deserved a shot at Tia. So I didn’t have any right to the little bit of anger I was feeling.

After reminding myself about that, I licked my lips nervously. “Twilight…how long have you been into Celestia?” I asked after careful choosing my words.

Twilight cleared her throat and looked away. I thought I saw the beginnings of a blush. “Well…it’s complicated,” she told me before pausing a moment more. Then, the little goddess let out a sigh, and looked back up to me. “It all started when I was just a filly and saw her raising the sun, I thought she was just so amazing and later, once I became her student and got close to her and saw what a wonderful pony she was, I just went from wanting to be just like her to wanting to be with her. I mean, she’s beautiful, and smart, and kind and…everything! But…I knew she didn’t look at me, or anypony that way. So as the years passed, I just…accepted it.” The way her voice and Scent were heavy with regret made me wince.

“Then, all of a sudden, she says she might have feelings for me and it’s all just come flooding back. I mean,” a bright smile lit up the alicorn’s face. “She’s interested in me Fae. Me! I…I’ve never dreamed about something like this ever being able to happen, and now that it has I’m just so…so…”

My anger over the whole situation over being kicked to the curb in favor of Twilight priming herself up for her perfect image of Celestia fell by the wayside as I looked at Twilight’s smile. Instead I just felt…hurt, and pretty sad about this whole thing.

But then, I was dealing with Twilight. She got over enthused, and put blinders on, and all that other shit sometimes. I needed to be patient and understanding, and wait till it all just blew over…or blew up in my face and Twilight picked up the pieces. That was just the way things worked with her.

“Twilight, you know I want this to work out for you too,” I told her while mulling over if I wanted to tell her about Tia’s plan to shatter the purple pony’s rather…rosy version of things.

As things stood, I wasn’t sure if she would even believe me.

“Great!” Twilight said. “So you’ll stay here and-”

A knock at the door cut her off, and Twilight turned to opening the thing with her magic, letting Rainbow Dash in. The young woman of a pony was dressed in some light-bluish-green outfit with a matching hat and her lightning bolt emblem on the chest. It looked kind of familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it. “Hey girls, are you-uh Twilight? Are you sure you should be wearing that? It…looks a little…tight.”

The alicorn’s eye twitched, and she let out a groan. “Rainbow, I said wear you best new dress.”

“This is my best new dress,” Rainbow replied in confusion. “Rarity made it for your coronation, remember?”

Twilight became a little more panicked, and I tensed as she looked the pegasus up and down. “But it…you… What about your gala dress? It still fits, right? You didn’t become an alicorn and put on about twenty-three-point-five pounds of wings and muscle!”

A groan came from Rainbow as she looked away from Twilight. “Uh…you remember how my dress looked after the gala, right? No way I can wear that thing again,” she said before looking over to me. “And where the hay is your dress?”

“Fairy isn’t coming,” Twilight told her simply. “We’ll just tell Princess Celestia she’s sick.”

That got Rainbow in my face in an instant. Once second she was near the door, and the next she was in my face while her feathered cap was left to fall to the ground, knocked off by her rush through the air. “You’re sick?” she asked in a panic before looking back to Twilight. “Is it like last time? It’s not like last time, is it?”

I let out a tiny giggle at Rainbow’s worry. “I’m not really sick Rainbow, Twilight just wants me staying home because I don’t have a dress to wear,” I said in a calm tone.

And…maybe it really was better if I stayed home.

First off, there was the dress…which I might have gotten just a little…resigned to since I was going to be stuck in one for my coronation. I mean, it wasn’t like ponies wore real dresses, they were more like those uniforms from Fullmetal Alchemist that covered the ass and left the front open like certian European uniforms did back in the day. So…I could wear the military dress…things for short periods of time.

Then there was Tia’s plan, or the bare bones of it she had told me anyway. It was nothing too mean spirited, and kind of needed to be done for her own good, but…she was still kind of crushing one of Twilight’s dreams. That kind of put me at odds with the goddess of fat asses.

So…yeah, it was definitely better if I just stayed behind like Twilight wanted.

Hell, even if I did want to go, it wasn’t like I had anything to wear. Knowing Canterlot, there would probably even be a dress code for whoever the hell Tia planned on dining. She did want us to get thrown out of the place after all.

“Why don’t you just use your magic to make a dress like you did with all that other stuff you gave everypony?” Rainbow suggested.

And thus did the pony of the Rainbow mane manage to foil my plot to get out of the coming disaster.