I would never be happy again.

Ever.

I had put my heart out on the line and had it smashed to pieces.

Got my dreams crushed.

I would never move from where I was, and just spend the rest of my life in misery.

And…

Well…

It turned out to be a lot harder that I thought it was going to be.

Sure we humans like to get poetic about depression and all, but…after about six hours of nothing while being awake, and another one of doing nothing while asleep, I was pretty bored with doing nothing. Bored and tired of it.

I may have been a master of just lazing around, I spent four days in a room just talking to an alicorn and thinking I was crazy after all, but it didn’t mean I liked doing it. At least back then I didn’t have super depressing thoughts occupying my mind, like questions of why Rainbow didn’t want to at least try and see if Twilight and me were any good for her. That thought kind of shoved everything else to the side.

Then there was Tia. She didn’t actually do anything but…

Having her comforting was like having Twilight around, it was just as good.

I also had a rather disturbing revelation.

“I really am a girl now, aren’t I?” my masculine voice said while Tia just sat there with me.

The goddess shifted a looked down at me. “Pardon?”

I sighed. “I mean, six hours of just being…bleh, with Twilight around to comfort me, and Sunset needing me to help her, and I just sit around doing…nothing but bitching about how some chick doesn’t want to go out with me.” Good God, saying it out loud just made it sound worse.

“So now we’re entered the self-hatred phase of your depression,” Celestia said as she shifted around. “Well, that’s progress I suppose. And I don’t think you’re a girl…well, a human female at least. You’re a pony. We don’t take pride in ignoring our feelings like you seem to.” Then she looked down at me and frowned. “Why is that anyway?”

Honestly? I didn’t know what to tell her on that one.

Sure, there was the whole idea that a real man could get the job done no matter the pain, or the belief that women were extremely emotional and thus it wasn’t a manly thing to be. Maybe it was just the simple belief that since women were one way, men had to be the opposite.

Still, Celestia’s got a little chuckle out of me before I raised my hands and wiggled my fingers. “Yeah…that…um…no idea.” I mumbled before dropping my arms and sighing. “Can we talk about something else now?”

Celestia nodded. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

The temptation was too much to resist. It had been awhile since Tia let me sink my teeth into some Equestrian Lore. It wasn’t that she said the knowledge was forbidden, but…we always just found something else to talk about. There was only so much time, and we had to go over Twilight and Sunset’s activities, watch television, play a game of chess or two, listen to her bitch while giving her a massage or something. Despite just being the two of us alone for six hours, our schedule was pretty full.

But, despite the numerous things I wanted to ask about, the topic that needed to be discussed was obvious. “That…weed thing…is that the reason why Equestria’s population is in decline?” I asked. “Did you know about it before we even had the summit?”

I felt Celestia shift underneath me again, and she let out a sigh. “It’s…the most likely possibility, and no. It was only after I took a look at the birth records from Canterlot again while bothering to check the gender that I put two and two together. Then I took a look at the past agricultural, construction, and a few other records from New Horseleans.

“About one hundred years ago, the city started going through an expansion. A group of unicorns moved in with the intention of trying to turn the town into a major city with a usable port for heavy cargo ships since Equestria doesn’t have one in our southeastern territories. The only ports we have on our eastern coast are Baltimare and Manehattan, which makes shipping anything from what those cities receive in overseas trade with the Griffon Empire extremely costly to the southwestern cities like Appleloosa and Las Pegasus, not to mention inconvenient. A southern port on our eastern shore and new rail lines would have changed all that.”

“Would have?” I asked with a frown.

A sigh came from above me. “Swamps aren’t the best place for construction. It’s why the town never grew that much. Not enough land. Of course the ground could be made usable, ditches dug and water drained, rerouted, dammed up. They tried, but in the end, things just…didn’t work out. Costs, labor…some trouble with bog beasts. In the end, the plan to turn New Horseleans into a port town overnight was abandoned, and I…made other arrangements to move the project forward at a slower pace.

“It was still a good idea, I thought. So I mentioned the town in court a few times over the years as an oddity, like a small community just waiting for investment. More ponies with bits moved in and land was cleared away, but at a much slower pace. And now that I’ve seen what’s wrong…there’s nothing that can be done about it. The mystical weed was a precious commodity before we started messing with its spawning grounds. Now the gender ensuring process is so expensive that only the nobles and rich families can afford it, and it seems destined to only go up in value once this year’s crop fails to meet expectations.”

I mulled over the problem for about two seconds. “Can’t you just put it into a greenhouse or something? Try planting it somewhere else? I mean…there’s plenty of other swamps in Equestria. The Everfree alone has like…two of them, and then there’s the one…um…” I had to wrack my brain for a second for the name of that oversized muck hole near Dodge Junction. “The Hayseed Swamps. Even if the stuff doesn’t grow there naturally, you can just transport it there and plant some things, right?” Then of course there was the earth ponies. With the way they ran nature and grew everything en mass, I didn’t see how producing the plant on Equestria’s own terms wasn’t an option.

“Sometimes I forget just how little you know about our world and my ponies,” she mumbled.

Of course it wasn’t that I didn’t know about ponies, it was Equestria that confused the hell out of me. The sun and moon moved too fast, the stars were impossible, everything about weather from start to finish was do it yourself, the seasons needed to be changed manually, and the damn ‘wild’ animals required someone to take care of them. Fluttershy wasn’t the only animal provider in Equestria, just one of the rare pegasi that did it. Trying to figure out everything behind it all was enough to drive a man insane.

Then there was the really weird shit like Equestrian Coincidence, the musicals that happened on command, some sort of weird interdimensional bleedthrough that made humans make cartoons about ponies and ponies make their own version of human things. Oh, and magic. Magic was the never-ending paradox loop that made sense enough to use, but not enough to understand, but could still be developed by ponies that didn’t know what they were doing. It was the computer that people knew how to work, without knowing how it worked, and yet they still managed to write new code.

Considering how everything in the world ran on it in one form or another, it was a wonder everyone wasn’t more like Discord. Or maybe he did know how things worked, that that was why the way he was.

“I take it that it’s different in your world so…” Tia paused for a moment. “Well…you can’t force certain plants…particularly ones with magical properties to grow under any conditions, save for the ones they were born to grow in. Some things like grapes from the Griffon Empire and coffee beans from beyond the mirror are adaptable, but its not always possible.”

“So they’re like zap apples then?” I knew the damn things would only grow around the Everfree, and whatever magic they fed on, used, or incorporated wouldn’t let them spread beyond that one grove the Apple Family had set aside for them. Outside the area next to the Everfree the seeds wouldn’t even grow.

Celestia took a moment to think, then nodded. “Yes, those apples feed off the free magic of the forest. It’s not some exotic plant, like with coffee beans that requires extra care and attention from earth ponies.”

With the greenhouse option and relocation out, I crossed my arms and stood up to get away from the sexy goddess to think. “I don’t suppose just abandoning the town and letting everything grow back naturally is a solution then?” Kicking ponies out of their home didn’t really seem like something Tia would consider, and if pony magic was messing with stuff, then maybe it was time to just pack up and leave.

“I’ve already thought of that and five other solutions that just don’t pan out Omnifarious,” Tia told me. “The exotic magic of the swamp is what the plants need to survive and grow. The disruption the presence of ponies caused to the area, the infusion of our natural magic and development of the land as the town expanded over the years has caused the plant’s natural habitat to continually shrink. Even if I did order the ponies of New Horseleans to abandon their homes and tore everything down, the exotic magic of the swamp wouldn’t return. It’s not…grass and apple trees we’re talking about, but a mystical force of Equestria. Believe me, if I knew how to fix it, I would. If I understood everything there was to know about magic, I’d be growing Trees of Harmony all across the landscape.

“All I can do is attempt to stop the harm from spreading, and adapt so that my people can survive.”

Which made me wonder how much adaptation would be required. Birth records were one thing, but I had no idea if anyone bothered writing down just how much of that gender potion was produced. The families in Canterlot obviously used it, and it was a pretty good bet the lesser nobility around Equestria had access to the stuff. Other ponies had to as well, it wasn’t like the sale was restricted, but…I just didn’t know enough to make any guesses.

How much did it cost?

Was there an expiration date?

And why the hell was I even bothering to wonder about it right now?

Pony statistics said about one in five children born was a boy, they had obviously offset that in Canterlot through alchemical means, and probably elsewhere when it came to desperate families. But because those ponies were cheating, no one counted them among the natural statistics. That, combined with the extended an lifespan that increased over the years helped up the numbers, but they were now set for a massive decline thanks to a weed supply problem that began a generation ago and nobody noticed for the same reason everyone got gobsmacked by Nightmare Moon’s return, or why Rarity and the others didn’t know being turned into an alicorn was possible after meeting Cadence and seeing examples of other alicorns in Equestria’s past. Ponies just weren’t naturally inquisitive like humans were.

But that was all causes, we needed solutions.

With no other option, I went to the last ditch hail mary play. “I don’t suppose Discord could…do something?” Good God did that take effort to say.

Celestia shook her head. “No. His magic is too…unstable to affect any lasting changes, and if were to try and work together to solve this problem… The time when our magics conjoined…well…there’s a reason my little ponies aren’t allowed to go near where Discord, my sister and I fought our first battle. Chaos magic is fleeting unless constantly sustained, but there…it lingers still a thousand years after the fact.”

That just made me want to see the damn place even more. It was probably like some kind of real life acid trip.

But as far as the plant went, there was no use talking about it any more. Celestia knew more about magic than I ever would, or ever really want to know. If she said it couldn’t be done then…it couldn’t be done.

But with the night still young, we still needed to talk about something. I needed my distractions from real life. So I sat down on my side of the bed and sighed. “So um…how was Sunny’s visit with Sunset?”

Tia groaned and rubbed her head. “I think I finally know what it’s like to feel embarrassed about your childhood,” she lamented. “Especially when it’s your daughter just making shit up so others will laugh at you.”

Oh I so wanted to hear about that, but…business before pleasure. There was something else that had been nagging me about the other day too. “About how you got the word out to all of Equestria using changelings…” Well, I wasn’t all that mad about it anymore, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. Mostly because I hadn’t noticed it though.

“Thank you for your help with that. Your number four was most…well…helpful,” Celestia told me after a moment of embarrassment from her lack of diction.. “I’m thinking of trying to devise a warning system of some kind for Equestria using your race’s ability to instantly communicate. It might help save a lot of lives should something happen that requires my ponies to leave an area quickly.”

And thus, all my irritation about the whole hijacking went up in smoke while I felt a little less than perfect from Tia’s announcement. I see the first telegraph machine, and think how I can make money off of it. Tia sees it as an early warning system.

Once again without anything to do, and my need not to think about Dash turning me down, I desperately grabbed at something, anything else to talk about. “So um…you said you’ve had…former boyfriends, right? What was it like…you know…dating back in the day? What’d you do back then?”

For some reason, that question seemed to make Celestia happy.

Not that I didn’t know why. Despite her hot looks, she really was an old hag, and old people loved to go on about anything.

I opened my eyes and felt Twilight stir behind me.

A full night of having Celestia go on and on about her dating troubles had helped…well, mine weren’t put in perspective really. I never really even got that saying. I mean…just because someone else half a world away was having problems didn’t make mine any less relevant to me, and I sure as hell didn’t give a fuck about children half a world away any more than I did they day before.

So kids in Africa were starving, big deal. I was going to keep those five pennies a day and use them to buy a coke at the end of the week.

But hearing Tia talk helped. Maybe it was the fact she had faced so many relationships over the years that they all kind of just blurred together. Most of it boiled down to meeting a pony that didn’t think they could be intimate with the princess, and then having to end things when the guy figured out he wanted kids. I don’t think she had a real relationship since becoming a princess.

Not like I had with Twilight.

Another bit of movement behind me put a smile on my face. “Morning.”

“Morning,” she replied before pressing her body up against mine, removing the space between us that had come about since sleep. “Are you…feeling better?”

I smiled. After everything that had happened, she was still thinking about me. “Yeah. Celestia and me,” I said before Twilight got the teensy bit jealous, “we talked. It helped. Sorry for…being me again. For…going after Rainbow and-”

“I wanted to share us with her too,” Twilight reminded me with a kiss to the ear. “We tried, she said no…everypony was honest and…time to move on. Okay?”

After shifting around a bit, I rolled onto my back and turned my head to face Twilight as the memory of yesterday ran through my mind. I...didn’t really want to just forget about it just yet, but... “Okay,” I agreed.

Then we kissed, it was just a quick little morning kiss, but the next thing I knew, Twilight was rolling on top of me, and my vision was filled with the alicorn’s face. “Now…I’m pretty sure you’re hungry, and I didn’t drink anything after five yesterday, so it’s time for morning sex.”

A little under an hour of bedroom fun and a shouting human that yelled she could hear us from down the hall later, and we borrowed Sunset’s bathroom again to clean up before all four of the castle’s residences that had actual names were meeting up in one of the smaller rooms to eat. Using the big group dining hall just wasn’t personal when you didn’t have about twelve ponies over for dinner.

Of course the damn zebra was there, running her mouth like usual. “Good morning at last, come to break your fast?” she asked with that damn morning person cheer that just made the normals want to rip her head off. Hell, I didn’t even really sleep, and still kind of felt out of it after getting up.

“Morning,” Sunset grumbled like any sane person would.

“Good morning Zecora!” Twilight chirped chipperly, proving her craziness. I had just fed on her too, which…well, it meant she was probably faking it. Twilight was actually pretty good at just putting on a smile.

They all sat down to eat.

I sat down to watch, water myself a little, and talk. “So, how did the thing with the crystal mirror go?”

Twilight gave me a little smile. “Well…it’s magic.”

“And a mirror,” Sunset added before letting out a yawn. “That’s pretty much all we could get out of it.”

The disappointment coming from Twilight had me drop that topic faster than Rainbow Dash could fly. It took me a few minutes to think up something else. Admittedly, it was the usual fallback option to find a conversation point with Twilight but I didn’t want to step on any landmines. “So, what’s on the schedule for today?”

Twilight looked over to me and her smile slipped. “Oh…um…I thought we were going out with Rainbow…today, so I didn’t…plan for anything past breakfast,” she managed to say through all the sadness I picked up coming from her.

Fuck the landmines, I just ran into a nuke.

We sat there for a second, and I just felt like kicking myself. Good going genius, how about you go back to talking about how you and Tia just hang out every fucking night? That’ll cheer her up! Oh by the way, we don’t talk about you at all Twilight. Yeah, makes you feel good doesn’t it?

Okay, we did talk about Twilight, just not all the time…but she did come up in conversation at least once a night. Tia usually asked the usual things like how was she doing, what were she and Sunset up to, was there any trouble in paradise, and usually closed the conversation by asking if I’d tried giving Twi a horn-job, if Twilight still squealed when she got too excited, and the most heavenly way to mess with an alicorn’s wings was to bite down a few inches from where the joint to their main body was.

It was a lot different than with a pegasus, they liked…it…when…

I shook my head to clear it. Stop thinking about that crap!

Of course it was just my luck the stuff I ASKED Celestia to tell me about sex ended up being useless.

“And on that note,” Sunset spoke up after finishing her bowl of fruit. “I need a lift to Fluttershy’s, and then it’s off to work of me.”

Zecora agreed to clear away the plates, and the three of us made our way downstairs while I tried to think of something to do today. Regent work didn’t really appeal to me and…something occurred to me as we reached the bottom floor. “Hey Twilight, if I get made a princess, does that mean you have to do your job?”

“What job?”

I frowned. “Dealing with all this Ponyville stuff. You know, telling ponies what to do?”

“Um…I’m willing to share?” she asked with a nervous grin that made me realize I wasn’t getting out of the courtroom anytime soon.

Not that I blamed her. It was a lousy job, and even worse it was…unfulfilling. Most of the problems brought to me were childish and stupid, or in Filthy Rich’s case repetitive and stupid. Plus, Twilight didn’t really like ordering ponies around unless it was a community project or something.

Well, ponies that weren’t her friends and would forgive her for being kind of a bossy bitch that relied on guilt tripping confused…pegasi… Stupid brain, cut that out now, I told my head before looking over to Twilight. “Okay, okay.” If she didn’t want to deal with it, I’d take care of things. I owed her that much.

With that, Twilight took Sunset in her magic, and we took off at a leisurely pace through the air. It was a fast pace compared to land travel though, and we got to Fluttershy’s place easily enough before Sunset remembered to breathe.

As soon as we touched down, the girl looked back and took in a few breaths. “Do you two have to carry me through the air every time? I liked it better when we walked.”

“We also didn’t have to get you to Ponyville before seven-thirty when we walked,” I replied.

Twilight was a bit less snaky. “Well you’re too big to carry. I don’t have enough of an understanding of humans to adapt a transformation spell to reduce your size, and…sorry, but we were um, a little…active this morning, and teleportation so soon after…um…Fae’s breakfast... ”

Sunset facepalmed. “Yes, I heard you screaming. Back at the castle. Please stop talking.”

At that, Twilight managed to blush. And whatever she was going to say was stopped when the door to the nearby tree house opened and Fluttershy came out. “Oh, I thought I heard voices. Hello girls. Do you want to come in?”

I managed to hide my cringe while Sunset and Twilight agreed for me, and I followed them inside.

It wasn’t the oddity of Fluttershy’s house being a hollowed out tree that bothered me. I loved the library and found it to be kind of quaint. Visually, her house was also very nice.

However…the place had a bit of an odor. I didn’t know if the girls were too nice to mention it, or just got used to it over the time they had known the pegasus, but…dozens of different outside animals indoors at the same time didn’t mix.

“Sorry I’m a little late, but my ride was…”

Fluttershy didn’t let Sunset finish. “That’s okay, I’m just glad you take the time to help.”

“So you’re still training for the Games like…Rainbow?” Twilight said after a moment’s hesitation while hurt feelings surfaced on her Scent.

Fluttershy said…something. I didn’t care to listen. Had too much on my mind.

For a brief instant, I thought about pulling the duplicate Dash out of the weather patrol job so Rainbow would have to go back to work. It would serve her right for not even wanting to give me a fucking chance.

But…the thought was short lived. Rainbow didn’t want to…try. She didn’t see anything working out between us, like with Rarity and what she said to Twilight. I couldn’t really be mad at her for that.

Sad? Yes.

Angry?

… I don’t think I could ever be angry at Dash.

Okay, stop thinking about that stupid, I told myself.

It was over, she said no, end of story.

Unless of course she was just playing hard to get…

Which I seriously doubted. Plus, I hated girls that tried that shit. I was supposed to work my ass off to get some kind of approval just to try and see if I was compatible with a woman? It was the worst way possible of starting a relationship and put the woman in a mindset on par with douchebag Hollywood movie stars and teen pop sensations.

If Dash was like that, then fuck her.

Whatever the girls were talking about came to an end, and I looked around to try and figure out what was going on. Fluttershy was putting on her training gear, Sunset was glaring at Angel Bunny while the pegasus was distracted, and Twilight was just…looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

She Smelled…uneasy.

“Are you okay?” we both asked quietly at the same time.

I took in a breath and held up a hoof to forestall her and keep that from happening again. Or keep the alicorn from saying jinix. For all I knew, that shit actually worked in Equestria and pony language couldn’t pronounce my human name.

“I’m fine,” I assured her. “I was just thinking about-”

There was another knock at the door, and then the pony on the other side just went and opened it without getting permission to come in or anything. Her multi-chromatic hair was as mussed up as always, and was so overgrown in the back it managed to run down both sides of her neck while most ponies only kept their mains to one side. She looked a little bleary-eyed, but that could have just been my spiteful imagination since the damn things were naturally pink. “Hey Fluttershy, do you still have your spare goggles I…broke…mine.”

I blinked, and resisted the urge to frown. Well fuck you too Equestria. I may of not of had any plans for the day, but being around Rainbow Dash was something that could have waited a week…or three…months.

Rainbow trailed off, when she caught sight of me and Twilight sitting on Fluttershy’s couch. “Oh…um…hey girls.”

Oh…it’s you, I tried to say, all hostile like.

“Hey,” is what I got out, and pretty weakly at that.

“Hello Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said in a lot stronger tone than I did. Not really super friendly glad, but not anywhere near hostile. But then, she hadn’t been getting her hopes up. She had been all ‘this was a possibility’ and just kind of got a little disappointed.

Sunset took one look at the three of us, then she pointed at the door while grabbing food for the bear. “I think I’ll go feed the carnivorous animals with my bare hands now.”

And thus the traitorous human did what was natural for her species and fled out the door with some fish in a basket.

I had to wonder just how much she knew about what was going on.

From up above us in her little bird loft where she was taking care of the stuff our hairless monkey couldn’t reach, the other pegasus looked down. “You broke your Wonderbolt goggles?” She asked rhetorically before she disappeared from my sight into a back room. “Um, let me check for mine real quick.”

Alone with Rainbow, me and Twilight sat on Fluttershy’s couch. I just looked at Rainbow. It was impossible not to pick up her Scent. She was a little scared, pretty guilty, angry…sad.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on what I was getting from Twilight to help block that out but…that was just more sadness.

Once second ticked by.

Then two…

…three.

The pegasus gulped. “Um…so…”

“It’s okay Dash,” I told her softly as my body slumped. “I’m not…angry or anything. No need for the nervousness.” Now that the initial ‘shit its you’ was gone, I just felt…tired in front of her. Nervous and guilty too for what happened. I saw something that really wasn’t there and tried to push her into it.

Twilight smiled. “We said we’d still be friends. Just because you don’t want to become involved in a relationship doesn’t mean we’re upset with you or anything.”

It didn’t seem to cheer the pegasus up any. “Right…thanks girls.”

Another second ticked by.

And another.

“So are you still…going to the Wonderbolt’s show today? Rainbow asked.

That put my brain on pause for a few seconds.

I didn’t know whether to be pissed off at her for asking, guilty at myself for wanting to say ‘yes but YOU AREN’T’ or just…even more guilty over dangling the chance to go in front of her face and just taking it away from her.

Rainbow loved the Wonderbolts, even after the qualifying rounds, she didn’t throw out any of the memorabilia crap that was all over her house and from what I could tell, still wanted to be one of them. She was even excited about the information on the reserves that Twilight had gotten her.

“Rainbow, that was-”

“You still want to go?” I asked evenly.

The pegasus looked over to me, cleared her throat, and her nervousness went up as her eyes wandered up to the ceiling. “Well…you know…if you girls still need me…to um…do…whatever,” she said before trailing off into some mumbling I couldn’t pick up on.

It was classic Dash of course, wanting to go, but not wanting to say it.

Up came the anger for her still wanting…something I told her we’d give her before we dropped the dating bomb. Or Twilight told her. Either way, it was the same thing.

“N-Not a…date,” she added. “Just um…you know…if you guys need me…to…whatever.”

Twilight let out a tired sigh. “Rainbow…that…we were just-”

“Okay,” I agreed without any enthusiasm. “We’ll all go.” That’s what friends did, right? Not dangle stuff in front of others then take it away a moment later, right? I wasn’t some kind of...buffalo giver.

“-wait, what?” the alicorn finished as she looked over to me. “We will?”

Another awkward silence followed, and Fluttershy came out of the back. “Okay Rainbow, here’s the goggles.”

Rainbow didn’t brighten up at hearing the news, but….I did detect her calming down a bit. “Oh…cool?” she replied as Fluttershy handed her the eye protection and I took that as our cue to leave the house.

With Ponyville not being all that big, me and Twilight got to the library in short order. Still had time for a bit of a conversation though.

“Why did you say yes?” Twilight demanded softly as we crossed the bridge from Fluttershy’s house and into town. “I thought we were only going to the show to ask her if she wanted to pursue a romantic relationship instead of a platonic one!”

I cringed away from the alicorn a bit. “Well…um…it just…it didn’t seem right to go, hey Dash here’s some Wonderbolt tickets in a private princess box, and then take them away just because she doesn’t want to…you know.”

Twilight sighed and shook her head as we got to the library door. “It’s Manehattan all over again,” she mumbled before becoming thoughtful. “Well…sort of…”

With that, Twilight opened the door and looked at the mail on the floor before picking it up with her magic. “Let’s see…water bill, you might have already won, pre-approval for a princess platinum account, hmm letter from…home.”

My ears twitched at the tone of Twilight’s voice, and I had to fight to keep from frowning. Judging by the way she got all sad, I could guess who it was really from. It made me wonder what happened to the days when all the emotional shit just took a number and waited its turn in line instead of just trying to dog pile a poor pony.

But with me being a glutton for punishment, I just had to open my mouth. “What’s it say?”

“Dear Twilight,” the alicorn read. “It’s me, Spike. Thank you for sending me my stuff. It’s funny, when you’re going through all your old comics how hard it is not to just sit down and start reading. None of them were like the one in the castle though, I guess we won’t be doing something like that…a-again."

She paused for a moment, and gulped. “It was nice to be back with Mom and Dad, and they want me to say their sorry for missing you the last time you came to Canterlot, and were disappointed when you and your fillyfriend didn’t make it the last time, but I told them what happened and they understand. We’re looking forward to seeing you this Friday.

“I know it’s only been a day, but I-I miss you a lot, and…” Twilight closed her eyes and pushed the letter the kid had to have written yesterday away from her face to look at me while she took deep and controlled breaths.

I trotted my way up to her and…well…I couldn’t manage an even expression. Twilight’s mood had quickly gone from angry-sad to just plain depressed. “Um…are you okay?” I asked before wanting to smack myself. Of course she wasn’t okay, even if I had no empathic powers, I could tell she wasn’t okay.

Twilight looked up at me with a down turned expression. “I miss Spike,” she told me before glancing at the letter again, and then back to me. “I…I did the right thing, right? Send…sending him back home?”

That…I couldn’t really answer without putting my ass in the crosshairs. “If that’s what you think,” I said before wetting my dry lips. “Um…we’re going to see him in a few days, right?” Had to remember to downplay the time, make it seem like it was glass half-full rather than half-empty. “I’m sure everything will be better by then.”

“I hope so,” she said after a moment. “I…if I write him a letter, can you get one of your changelings to deliver it? A handwritten one, not a telepathic message.”

It kind of got to me that I wouldn’t be able to peek at the contents of Twilight’s personal correspondence, but I didn’t let it show. For all I knew, she could be telling Spike she had decided I was an evil monster after all and was just waiting for the right moment to get rid of me.

Well, that thought may have been a little paranoid, but then…there really had been a dragon out to get me by proxy.

Sort of.

I put my mind back on the conversation and forced myself to smile. “Sure thing. I’ll have one of the changelings go along with the weekly shipment.”

Twilight tilted her head. “Shipment?”

“Um, you do realize I have to feed the changelings that run the communication hubs, right?” I asked. It wasn’t much since that’s all they really did, but they still took magic to function. It was only about one clone pony a week per changeling, but that was enough to sit around on their ass and take messages all day.

“I would have thought they got love from ponies like your…um…pleasure changelings,” she replied.

I shook my head. “No, need bits to cover transportation costs, plus pay for the rent on the buildings, various minor materials, and actually make a little profit.” Although with Tia thinking my bugs could be a little emergency alert broadcast system, I could probably hand her the bill for that.

Which would kinda be like handing myself the bill in a little over a week’s time since the princess all drew from the same expense account that I sort of had access to already via Twilight since I was doing her job as regent. So…it kind of made me wonder just what the hell I was being made princess for anyway. I already did the work of one as is.

“Oh, well…I’d better get started on that letter,” she said before grabbing the parchment out of the air and heading further inside.

“I need to run to the Apple’s place and take care of some business. I’ll send the changeling by later,” I told her before getting the goodbye and heading out.

As soon as I closed the door behind me, I stopped working to keep a slightly happy face and just let it droop. What the hell happened to ponies dealing with this shit? I asked myself. Spike was gone, problem was solved. Twilight had a brief cry, had sex, she was supposed to have gotten over it.

Hell, it had been her idea to send Spike away in the first place!

Really, it was.

I had just sort of mentioned a few things, like Spike seemed to have an unhealthy need for Twilight’s complete attention…or at least her praise and that his whole life just seemed to revolve around doing what she wanted to the point where when he had gotten time off, he did a total of three things before deciding to dedicate his life to Applejack and do the most insanely stupid things for a pat on the head. Then I may have asked a few questions about what Spike wanted to do with his life, and how foals knew that answer by the time they were ten at the most when she just kind of went ‘Um…’.

After that, Twilight’s panicked mind had done the rest, and come to the decision that was best for Spike.

So, I had barely anything to do with it at all.

All those tears I saw him crying through Celestia’s eyes…not my fault.

Twilight decided to get rid of him, not me.

So that tiny sliver of guilt I might have been feeling over the whole thing was obviously because Twilight was depressed, and nothing more.

It took some time to get everything I needed done with the Apples. Not that there was that much to do, just pick up a pony, walk through the forest, have him walk into a pool five times along with his clones and then have my several hundred minions swarm the things before they knew what was going on.

Of course Big Mac was his usual chatterbox of hilarity and delight that all the fans loved. He kept the dark creepy forest of free magic all lively and fun all the way though.

“…” he said as we walked through the woods.

And then there was the singing. Oh God the singing. Like always, he had to sing his little song.

…

It went. At least I was spared from Pony Tones music. Jesus did that get old fast.

But then there was my 99.9% of the conversation. I talked about…well…what guys talk about when they’re alone and have no one to judge them…

“I mean, okay yeah it was a mistake to ask her on the first day right after we just told every pony that hey, you can have more than one girlfriend now,” I told Big Mac. “And I know I’m not the most friendliest of ponies, or even really a pony but…is it too much to ask for a chance? A trial run? A bucking explanation of just why the hay she’s leaving me high and dry after I ponyed up and asked her to go on a date?”

“Hmm,” Mac replied.

I nodded as we got off the beaten path. “And you know what? It wasn’t even my idea to go through with it, it was Twilight’s!” I exclaimed before getting into the air. “Okay, yeah…she probably did it because she knew I wanted it too and I just didn’t have the nerve to ask her because I hate it when her feelings get hurt, but come on! She could have at least given Twilight an explanation! She got hurt by the rejection too ya know. Not as much as me, but…I can tell it didn’t leave her with any pleasant thoughts.”

“Mmmmhmm.”

A few wing flaps and I was on the Clydesdale’s other side. “It was like with Rarity,” I went on. “I mean…she didn’t exactly turn Twilight down, but she gave her perfectly good and logical reasons why their relationship wouldn’t workout!

“Rainbow? Just no, and gotta go!” I went on.

“Huh,” Mac agreed.

I dropped to the ground and shook my head. “And then she just shows up the next day and she’s all hey guys can we go see the Wonderbolts?” I shook my head. “And I go and say yes! Because…cause…”

A sigh escaped from my lips and I dropped my head. “I don’t even know why. She just asks, and I say yes like there’s nothing wrong, and…okay yeah, it’s a jerk move. I mean…Twilight does something…Twilight, and I get mad at her, but now Dash is doing Dash stuff, and I’m all ‘oh yes ma’am, can I have another?’. Is that wrong?”

She shoots me down and comes back the very next day to go to a movie only I have tickets for and…it kind of made me wonder if I was something akin to Rainbow Dash’s little bitch.

Which I already kind of was with Rarity…and Twilight…and when I considered my recent actions with Fluttershy… Well, it was all kind of disturbing.

“…” Big Mac looked at me out of the corner of his eye, then pointed towards the glorified hole in the ground. “Cave.”

I sighed and parked my plot on the grass to let Big Mac have his privacy. For a species that went around naked, they had weird rules about nudity and water. Swimming was okay, but bathing was private. And apparently the pool counted at bathing.

As far as I could figure, it had something to do with permission, consent, and all that jazz. Twilight just looked at me funny whenever I asked her about it, but it beat the why ponies didn’t eat grass reaction I got from her.

I waited a good five minutes. Heard some buzzing from the pool, followed by screams of terror as creatures without enough intelligence to do basic math were assaulted by changelings, and then waited for the one Big Mac with the yolk around his neck to come out before several bugs hauled the naked clones out of the cave and towards Ponyville for loading onto the train.

“So um…” I managed before sighing.

The problem with bitching about something was that you stopped, it was kind of hard to start again.

“Twilight got a letter from Spike today.”

Well, at least on that one topic.

“Do you think it was a bad idea to send him away?” I asked as we began our trek back to the farm. “For Twilight to, I mean. He did you know, turn a whole Empire against me, and got all happy about Sunset getting hurt…I think, and not to mention trying to turn Ponyville against me.”

Big Mac stopped for a moment when we got to the forest path and tapped his chin with his hoof, and then nodded. “Eeyup.”

I also nodded. “Exactly! Got what he deserved! Not like it was even that bad!”

For some reason, Mac looked at me and frowned a little. “Enope.”

I patted the larger pony on the back with my hoof. “Thanks for agreeing with me Mac. Just needed some pony else to help with the thinking. You’re a good resounding board, you know that?”

“But Ah wasn’t-”

I put a hoof to his mouth to keep whatever nonsensical drivel from coming out. I didn’t really have time for useless jawing. “Uh look, we didn’t exactly make good time going in,” I said while he rolled his eyes for some reason. “So…I’ve got to get headed back as fast as I can. Take care, okay?”

Big Mac backed off and let out a little grumbling sigh, which I would too if someone had just stuck a hoof in my mouth. Not sanitary at all. “Eeyup.”

“Great!” I replied before getting into the air and heading back towards town.

The trip back to town took about a tenth of the time it took to get into the forest. Being able to fly did that. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to enjoy going through the air like I usually did when on my own, which involved a lot of gliding and not much concentrating on the direction I was going.

I landed in Ponyville in time to see the morning train let out a burst of steam and head out with the latest shipment of McDonalds on board, then made my way to the library. As expected, Twilight was inside, giving orders to her stand-in changeling that looked like every other adult bank-flanked unicorn that any of the ponies in town had seen.

“Now, Sunset said Ms Cheerilee is bringing the class over today, so make sure you have all the foals books where they’re supposed to be,” she said before pausing for a moment. “Um…you do know about all the stories, right? Sleeping Beauty? Robin Hoof? Snow White? Hairy Trotter?”

The…obviousness of it just… Ignore it, I told myself. Just ignore it, and start the memory repression.

As I rubbed my head to try and repress the memory that was made three seconds ago, my changeling just answered like normal. “This one was versed in the organizational system before being assigned.” #321 wasn’t the most conversational members of my race, but he didn’t need to be.

“Just keep them away from the romance section and literature for older ponies, like A Game of Stables.”

I cleared my throat to get the alicorn’s attention. “Twilight, you ready to go?”

She looked over and nodded back to me. “Yes,” she said before looking back to the changeling. “Just…do what Sunset says. She’ll be here to help you out.”

As she headed towards me and out the door. No strong emotions on the alicorn’s surface meant I needed to pry. “Are you…okay?”

And that little question got me some sad nervousness coming from Twilight. Still, she nodded and gave me a little smile. “I’m better. Writing back to Spike helped. Plus we’re going to go see him later this week, right?”

“Yeah,” I agreed while actually meaning the smile I gave her. It was good to see she had cheered up some while I’d been away. Then I thought of what was coming later and…well…I managed to keep from getting worked up about it. Twilight’s parents wouldn’t miss us this time with Spike probably anticipating it. “Um…what’d you write back?”

Twilight smiled. “That I loved him, and I missed him too. I asked him if he’d been to see Moon Dancer, or any of his other friends from Canterlot. Moved into the castle and all that,” she told me before her smile slipped down into a frown. “Are you sure the changelings will be able to oversee the plumbing installation?”

I licked my lips nervously. “Look, if you want to, we can cancel on Rainbow. I…” I sighed. “I’m sorry for just…you know. That wasn’t fair to you and-”

“No,” Twilight told me, silencing my attempt to give her an out. “We…you’re right. We said we were all going to the Wonderbolts show, and then you…we…confessed right then and there so…w-we shouldn’t make her having fun contingent on doing what we want.”

The Scent I picked up from Twilight had some guilt added onto it after that.

A heavy intake of breath helped me brace myself for what was probably going to be a very long flight to Cloudsdale. “Great. Now we just need to meet up with Rainbow and…” I paused and frowned at the ground, then looked up to Twilight. “Um…we didn’t exactly set up a meeting point with her, did we?”

Twilight sighed. “Come on. Let’s go find her.”

We found Rainbow at her house quick enough, and then it was time to start the hour and a half long flight to Cloudsdale. I was just glad I had fed off Twilight that morning. Rainbow flew next to Twilight, who was in the air next to me.

Conversation was…limited.

Being an idiot, I was the one that decided to start it.

“So Rainbow…what happened to break your goggles?” It was an innocent enough question. The kind used to make small talk and pass time since the flight to Cloudsdale was way too long and company filled not to talk about something.

When Rainbow faltered and her fear and anger became detectable, I started wishing that my crappy empathy powers would give me warning signs about this stuff before I set things off for about the millionth time, while she spoke to me a little curtly. “I just went out for a flight and crashed.”

Apparently concern trumped her need to nag about manners, because Twilight looked over to the pegasus. “You broke your goggles in a crash? Are you okay? You didn’t hurt your eyes, did you?”

Rainbow shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”

My own nerves calmed down at bit at that. Pegasus magic protected against blunt trauma, but glass to the eye was glass to the eye. Still, I knew she must have been upset about the things. Unlike the ones she had borrowed from Fluttershy, Rainbow’s goggles had been some super expensive things that didn’t look any different than the normal stuff except for the word WONDERBOLTS scribbled in bold letters on the side. And I think the straps were blue, although with all her hair, it was kind of hard to tell.

It also explained the depressed anger. Rainbow loved her Wonderbolt memorabilia, even with them being jackasses that would throw away a teammate and manipulate a fan for their own personal gain. She had to have a thing for one or two of them, no other explanation for how she still wanted to go to their show after the Falls.

“We’ll pick some new ones up for you then,” I told her with a smile. “My treat. Okay?”

Rainbow shook her head. “No thanks. It’s fine.”

I sighed, and looked over to Twilight for a moment to get a little permission signal for a change in formation, and then went up and over so we were flanking the pegasus. I really didn’t want to be confrontational with her. That was always just asking for trouble. “Rainbow…I know you’re upset about it.”

“No I’m not.”

I tried again. “Rainbow, there’s no use arguing me about this. I’m empathic.”

She rolled her eyes. “And? That doesn’t mean you know what I’m thinking.”

On the other side of the pegasus, Twilight’s expression became half lidded. “No, but it does mean she can read your emotions.”

Rainbow faltered as her fear…or maybe nervousness increased. It was some kind of panicky Scent anyway. “W-What?”

Hoping to calm her down a little, I let out a sigh. “Well, not exactly,” I said before beginning my explanation. “It’s not like there’s words over your head that says Twilight is feeling this and Rainbow is feeling that. It’s more like a…smell sensation to be honest. I have to figure out what it smells like what and it still takes a little bit of um…sniffing to work out stuff beyond the basics like if you’re just a little nervous, really afraid or-”

All of a sudden, Rainbow flew ahead of us at a speed that caused that my hair to become caught up in her wake, and then she turned around to jabber at me so fast and loud I could barely make out the words. “HEY GIRLS I THINK I’M GONNA FLY ON AHEAD. SEE YOU AT THE CLOUDISEM. OKAY NOW BYE!”

As Rainbow dashed off fast enough to leave that contrail of hers in her wake, I looked over to Twilight to share a confused expression with the purple pony princess.

“What’s wrong with her?” she asked.

“I just know she was worried about something,” I replied. “I just said I only sense emotions, not read minds.”

Twilight switched to a glide and took in a deep breath. “So um…how many times have you seen them? The Wonderbolts I mean.”

“In a show? Just that one time after we told every pony about me being human. She kind of dragged me to it. You?”

“Rainbow took me to one after I just got my wings,” Twilight said before her expression turned a little thoughtful and her mouth inched upwards a bit. “At first I thought she was just using me to get a free seat to a sold-out show and I was just going to humor her but…looking back on it, I think she was trying to get me excited about flying because I crashed after my coronation. Of course after the show, Rainbow told me not to try any of the tricks without a few months of normal practice flying first, I couldn’t stop snickering all the way home.”

Then came the awkward silence that couples got when they wanted to avoid an issue that was staring them in the face, or…had just left with a burst of speed that probably should have been impossible for anything alive.

Thankfully, Twilight managed to come up with something. “So, did you see anything else while you were in Cloudsdale?”

I shook my head. “No, just the one and done.”

for the rest of the trip I found myself listening to Twilight as she got into the familiar territory of explaining everything she knew about Cloudsdale without getting too technical on things like the weather. I only kind of half-listened. Then, after hearing about how it was founded and why only one place in Equestria produces the majority of its weather, just who ran the place, and some more junk involving some of the technical aspects of pegasus construction, which they supposedly got from the griffons while claiming it was the griffons that copied them. Although I knew they just copied the humans.

Once that was done, I looked over to her. “Twilight...is this a mistake? Taking Dash I mean.”

The alicorn sighed. “She probably just wants to...well, I know she wants to see the show, and you’re right, we promised to take her but...I think...Rainbow doesn’t just want to see the Wonderbolts this time around.”

“Then what does she want?”

“...not really sure, to be honest.”

After getting to the cloud coliseum, we found Rainbow waiting for us near one of the side entrances. Since we never set a rally point, we barely found the pegasus in time before the show began.

“What the hay took you two so long?” A Scent of worry still covered the pegasus, and I could tell from her expression that she wasn’t doing the cute and cocky kid of ‘took so long question’ that she liked to.

Twilight just sighed and shook her head. “Somepony forgot to say where we were meeting,” she said before moving past Dash. Then, she stopped and turned around. “Wait, should we go get something from the concession stand first?”

I let out a heavy giggle and kissed Twilight on the nose with a peck of my lips. “I’ve got all I need right here.”

The whiff of Rainbow’s emotions caught my attention before her words. Embarrassment, sadness, fear and anger hit me in one confusing jumble with some other little Smells that I couldn’t pick out through the mess. “Look, let’s just…hurry up and do this, okay?”

And for about the eighteenth time since the day began, I had to wonder if this was all going to be one hell of a bad idea.

We headed up, found our places and sat down just as everything started with some trumpets blaring in the background. While I was sure someone as aerobatic as Rainbow Dash found all the loops, spins, and whatever the hell else the Wonderbolts did cool as hell on multiple levels, all I saw was a bunch of ponies flying around while making clouds and electric fireworks. It was fast and flashy and…didn’t really have much of an appeal to me. It really just came down to the fact that I was the type of guy who liked to play football instead of watch it on the sidelines.

Twilight took a more…adorkable approach to the whole spectacle. As everything happened she was managing to name off various maneuvers and other things, like the personal history of some of the members insofar as when they got in and the names of some personal trick that managed to impress the group enough to get noticed.

Of course, Rainbow loved every second of it. Thankfully, the princess box was made for a pony with an ass as big as Celestia’s. So we had plenty of room to stay the hell away from Rainbow before she got caught up in the show enough to become her usual self and get into an excited conversation with Twilight.

They talked about flying and Wonderbolts stuff, and I saw Twilight apparently had more enthusiasm for the whole thing than I had thought she would, or she was just feeding off Rainbow’s enthusiasm as they discussed each individual member or some trick.

As for me, well…I enjoyed the fact that the girls enjoyed it. Other than that, it was kind of boring. The show was new, or at least put a new order on a bunch of old tricks since I doubted the Wonderbolts could churn out fresh material every month. But…they weren’t as fast as Rainbow Dash, and she had become more than graceful enough in her flying that the team maximum/minimum speed the bolts had to fly at so their formation wouldn’t break up didn’t seem all that impressive either. I had already tasted steak, the guys in the air were just hamburger.

“Something wrong?” Twilight asked between the explosions and little ponies going ‘Oooo’ and ‘Ahhh’ down below us.

I kissed the mare on the cheek. “I’m next to you. How could everything not be awesome?”

Twilight put her wing around me, and we watched the show for another ten minutes to end the half hour and reach an intermission. When it came, her stomach grumbled and I guessed it might not of been the best idea to just go straight to the show since the smell from everyone else’s food finally reached our open air skybox that didn’t think to provide snacks.

“I think I’m going to go get some food,” she said before looking to the pegasus. “Do you want anything Rainbow? My treat.”

After a whole three seconds of considering it, Rainbow placed an order that had me wondering if her racing days would be over at thirty, when she bloated up like a balloon from the calorie intake. “You need some help carrying it?”

Twilight smiled and tapped her horn. “I think I got it.”

Alone with the cyan pegasus, I cleared my throat and tried the basic small talk thing again. All things considered, there was no way it could go badly now. “So Dash, you um…having fun?” I asked as we dropped back onto all fours.

Thanks to the fact the space we were using was made for Tia, we had to stand on our hind legs in order to see over the edge. But on the other hand, it at least allowed us some privacy when we weren’t watching the action. The clouds were also good at keeping out the noise too.

Rainbow looked over to me and I gave her a little smile and…she visibly tensed. “”Oh yeah. Fun. Lots of fun. You, me and Twilight, just three friends having fun.”

I managed to ignore the three dollar bill level of fake Rainbow was spouting and just went back to looking at the cloud coliseum. Unfortunately, I had long since gotten used to cloud constructed buildings being real and just…sighed. Alone again with Dash, I just couldn’t stop thinking about when she just shot me and Twilight down. It still hurt, not soul crushing hurt but…I still had to steady myself.

But standing next to the pegasus, I came to realize what was even worse than the rejection was the fact that I didn’t know the reason behind it. Was it me? Was it Twilight? Was Dash just someone that only liked stallions due to biological reasons rather than as some status symbol like the ’snobs’ in Canterlot?

It was going to be some time before Twilight got back so…I decided to just put things out in the open. “Dash…I know what I said about being friends,” I said before my sense of Smell picked up her nervousness shoot up. “And I meant it. If you want, we will never do anything but buddy stuff for the rest of your life, and I promise to move on and never bring this up again…but I need to know something.”

The last remnants of Rainbow’s excitement about the air show faded, and I kinda felt like a douche for taking a few seconds to breathe and collect myself since it kept her waiting too. “I need to know…why did you turn me and Twilight down?”

Rainbow looked away from me and her voice dropped, but I could still make out the words thanks to being nowhere near the crowd. “W-Why? Why do you have to bring that up?”

“I just…I need to know,” I told her a gently as I could. “Was there something you didn’t like about me?”

“What?” Rainbow cried out in surprise and actually looked at me with a hurt expression for a second. “You… You and Twilight are great. You girls are perfect! It’s not…it’s not that.”

As she looked away again, I sighed. “So you like Soarin then.” That…I could deal with. There wasn’t anything Rainbow found…undesirable in me or Twilight. She just wanted someone else more. In fact, it actually made me feel a little better about the whole thing. At the end of the day, I did want Rainbow to be happy, and if she could find that happiness with someone else…I could deal with that.

It still hurt, but it was…manageable.

“Hey girls, I’m back,” Twilight said as she trotted into the oversized balcony seating with half a dozen items floating in her magical grasp. I snagged the water she passed to me before the alicorn turned her attention to Rainbow. What with the pegasus’s downcast expression, it didn’t take a genius to see there was something wrong.

She took one look at Rainbow, and Twilight was turning her attention back to me. “Okay, what’s going on?”

I sighed and shook my head. “Sorry Twilight, I opened my big mouth. But um…” I looked at the little deified ruler, and back to Rainbow. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Or guilty,” I said after taking a second to examine Rainbow’s Scent and get closer to her. “If you want, I can even try and…give you a hoof in getting guy-”

“IT’S NOT SOARIN, OKAY?” Rainbow shouted loud enough for me to back away from her.

“You talked to her about Soarin?” Twilight grumbled before she spared a glance at Dash and then looked back at me. “Don’t you know what happened at the wedding?”

While I usually found little frowns on ponies cute, the one Twilight was shooting me made her seem anything but. “Um…they danced?” I asked tentatively while Twilight continued to give me the look. The look that any guy would know. The one that was so harsh they invented the wedding veil to keep the wife-to-be from using it at a wedding. “Look, I missed some things, okay?”

Dash let out a sigh, and just…drooped. Her entire body and emotional state took a bit of a nosedive, and I was left wondering if a certain pie loving pegasus needed to be murdered for making Rainbow so upset even months afterwards. “Soarin…that’s…not gonna happen,” she told me before letting out a sigh. “I’m…over it. Like you and me, moved on.”

Twilight looked back and forth between us. “Would somepony please tell me what’s going on?”

I gave an uncomfortable grunt, and gulped. “Look I just…it was like with what Rarity said to you in her shop,” I said, making sure to state my defense first if Twilight was going to jump on me for putting the pressure on Rainbow. “I just asked her why she didn’t want to be in a deeper relationship with us, for closure.”

The alicorn opened her mouth…

“THAT’S NOT IT AT ALL!”

…and flinched at Rainbow’s pained shout.

As for me, the way she spoke made my insides turn. “Rainbow-”

“Don’t you think I want to?” she demanded with a frown and strained voice. “Buck…ever since… Ever since that stupid island, I’ve been having bucking dreams about me and Twilight! Together, like how I saw the two of you!”

Aforementioned alicorn’s eyes widened. “W-What?”

I just stood there mute, remembering our trip to the GG Islands and that little moment of pseudo-TwiDashness. I had just thought she heard Twilight’s…loud declarations of how good she was feeling. But if Dash had rushed back like I had told her to and saw us… Oh…crap. But…that was weeks ago, has she been feeling that way this whole time?

But aside from Rainbow Falls, we hadn’t really spent that much time together when we weren’t so busy we couldn’t really take the time to just be with each other.

Then she pointed her hoof over at me. “And you! You shake you bucking plot in my face like you’re presenting!” Dash exclaimed. “Don’t you know what you do to other ponies? We don’t like you because you smell good, we like you cause you’re bucking hot!”

I decided not to mention the reason so many ponies probably saw me as hot was because I smelled good, and just nodded. “Okay. But, you haven’t exactly answered my question.”

“To be honest Rainbow,” Twilight said as she worked through a blush. “Now I’m kind of curious why you didn’t agree either.”

“Well what’s wrong with what we have?” Rainbow demanded angrily as she rose into the air. “What we have is perfect! I told you, I’ve been waiting forever to have friends like you two, friends I can really fly with!”

Me and Twilight shared a look of confusion, and then the alicorn talked. “Um…now I’m getting confused because…I’m not really hearing anything as to why you wouldn’t want to be with us either,” she said before pausing for a moment. “Was it just too soon? Fae was afraid you would have gone after somepony else if we waited, but if you just need more time to think about things, I’ll…we’ll give you as much as you want!”

Rainbow landed and shook her head. “No…I…I don’t need any time I…said no because…” I could smell the fear and anger mount as Rainbow wrestled with herself, while I fought my own internal battle to tell her to just drop it and calm down, or find out what was going on inside her head.

But before I could even make a decision, the pegasus spoke again. “I’LL BUCK IT UP!”

“What?” Me, or maybe it was Twilight asked. My lips told me one thing, my ears another.

Rainbow frowned at me, then looked over to Twilight and took a few steps back. “Look…I know the kind of pony I am, okay?” she said. “I have more than I ever dreamed of having, and the fact you two want me to do something like this…it’s…it’s more than I ever wanted! But if I’m with you girls all day, I know what’ll happen! I’ll get Twilight mad at me, or say something stupid in front of Fae and make you both hate me, and I’ll lose everything!”

And with that, it all clicked in my head. The anger, the fear, the desire and love. We were offering her something she wanted, but it was also something she feared to take because of past experiences. Knowing Rainbow, there might have been some self-worth issues too at the core of things, but none of that mattered at the moment.

Apparently, Twilight lacked my introspection, because she was the first to get to Dash and wrap her in a hug. “Oh Rainbow, how could you think that?” she asked as I joined in on the supportive group embrace.

“Come on Twilight,” the pegasus moaned. “Remember Rainbow Falls? I almost-”

Twilight cut her off. “Got pressured into a position to help your friends, by me,” the alicorn went on before breaking the hug. “But when we were actually willing to let you go, you picked us over them. You are a pony that will always stand by her principles, even when it means giving up what she loves the most. It’s something I’ve seen you do time and time again, and…I stand in awe of you because of it. And if you think I could hate you for any reason just by getting closer to you, then you really are a featherbrain.”

The…unease I could detect coming from Rainbow faded at Twilight’s soft words and I decided to add my two cents. “Look Rainbow, if you don’t want to do this whole thing with me and Twilight, really don’t, then that’s fine. We’ll get over it. But if you’re just nervous, then let me just say that there is nothing to be afraid of.”

Rainbow gulped, and her eyes darted back between the two of us. “If um…I did say yes and all…um…what exactly would we…you know…do?”

I managed to refrain from making the half a dozen sex jokes that entered my head at that moment, and just walked up to Rainbow and put my wing around her before giving the girl a nuzzle. “Well I was thinking we could go to a few Wonderbolt shows and hang out a bit like we do now.”

A second later, Twilight had repositioned herself alongside Rainbow as well, with her wing joining mine. “Just with a lot more of these,” she added before giving Rainbow a light kiss on the cheek.

“That’s not…bad,” Rainbow admitted.

Then I had to add the downside to it all. “Of course you’ll probably have to go to Twilight’s stuff too, fillyfriend duties and all that.”

“And here I thought you wanted to go to the Starswirl exhibit that’s coming to Ponyville the day after tomorrow,” the princess said with a little smirk.

A feeling of unease crept up from the back of my mind, as if there was something wrong about what Twilight had said, but I quickly knocked it back down into the depths and looked to the girl we’d surrounded. “So what do you say Rainbow? Do you want to give the three of us a shot?”

“And if you don’t, we can just go back up to the edge and watch the show,” Twilight added gently. “And that’ll be it. No more talking about it or anything.”

Rainbow gulped, and nodded. “Okay.”

My body tensed. “Is that an okay for that’ll be it or a…” I couldn’t even finish.

“Okay, let’s try this out,” Rainbow finally said as she let me put some air back into my lungs.

Twilight smiled at the other mare. “In that case…I think I need to catch up with Fairy in the kissing department.” As Rainbow turned towards her, Twilight went in slow and brought her lips to the edge of the pegasus’s, where Rainbow moved just a bit to meet them.

I…felt a lot less ‘YES FINALLY’ than I thought I would have, and didn’t have an urge to get on my hind legs and dance in joy at the sight of Twilight and Rainbow making out right in front of me. I was happy, but not...super romance girly happy like you were supposed to be at the end of a love story.

And by the third kiss, I was feeling a little left out in the cold. “Hey uh…I’m here to you know.”

As they broke from their fourth tongue lock, Twilight looked over to me with a little smile. “Hey you stole Rainbow’s first kiss, I’m just paying it back with interest.”

“Plus,” Rainbow added. “You’re a lousy kisser. Your mouth tastes weird.”

Twilight snickered while I gave Rainbow a half-linden glare. “She’s not that bad since I taught her how to use her tongue,” the alicorn said with a little lusty smile. “Plus, her transformation does get rid of that changeling taste. Give it a shot.”

She did.

And we were about five minutes late for the start of the show.

But to be honest, I didn’t give much of a damn about the Wonderbutts. The only ponies I cared to watch were sitting next to me. And from the looks of things, and all the touchy feely crap we managed to get in during the performance, they were just fine.

“And then what happened?”

I groaned at Tia’s question as she moved her knight into an opening I left in my defenses. Bragging to the goddess about how well everything went today after she asked me why I was in such a good mood had started off innocently enough at first, but Tia was a damn gossip whore that squeezed every last drop of information out of me that she could.

“Well we um…got done with the show, bought some stuff as souvenirs, got Dash some new goggles, then went back to the castle and…went to bed,” I said before moving my pawn out of the way for her queen.

Celestia moved in with her queen. “That’s check. And Rainbow Dash? What happened with her?”

I cleared my throat and looked away. “Like I said. We went to the castle and went to…bed,” I told her with a blush. “Uh…apparently, me and Twilight have reputation, and Rainbow thought because we had kind of took her on a date, we were going to um…you know. You do know what we did on our first date, right?”

“You didn’t!” she said with an amused smile I could literally feel through our link.

A sigh escaped from my lips. “We…kind of started to but, Rainbow got nervous again, so we held off,” I told her. “So we just…cuddled.” In fact, I could still feel the girl underneath me when I concentrated on my body, I was on her left side, Twilight snuggled in on her right, and the three of us had our forelegs wrapped around each other with wings as well.

I moved a piece, and Celestia quickly won. “Well, I’m hardly one to judge others to not take things fast when it comes to relationships,” she replied. “With the whole endless longevity thing I possess, I get all the nervous playing around out of the way as soon as possible. Waste of time, really.”

“Please tell me your asking out another pony doesn’t equate to I think you’re hot, let’s go bang,” I begged.

Tia giggled. “Not quite,” she said before becoming a little more serious. But not by much. “So, did you learn anything today?”

At that moment, something occurred to me. While I didn’t really know Celestia enough to gauge her personality when we first met…what we had been doing since the whole dreamtime thing started, hanging out and…gossiping about everything, something about it finally clicked as to the why. So I nodded. “Yeah…those friendship reports, you really miss them, don’t you?” I asked. “They were your little vicarious living through Twilight and the others, weren’t they? And that’s why you’ve gotten all…personal with the girls, isn’t it? They stopped sending you gossip.”

“I will admit to taking a certain amount of joy from them,” she admitted. “But it was hardly the deciding factor. That was…someone else.”

Before I could ask more questions, Tia rubbed her hands together. “Now, since you lost, I want the feet and back this time. Oh, and don’t be squeamish about the lower back.”

As the goddess stood up to help clean things up, I rolled my eyes. “You know none of this is even real, right? It isn’t going to do anything for your muscles, even if you had the same body when you wake up.”

Tia let out a snort. “Relaxing is relaxing,” she said before laying down on the couch with her ass up in the air. “Now, chop chop. And what are we watching, anyway?”

I sighed and turned on the television. “Well um...since I’m feeling a little romantic, and I knew I’d sort of end up getting a little annoyed even though what I really want to say is I hate you but I can’t because lying is pretty impossible here...um...just watch the stupid love story,” I said over the first few opening lines.

“...but dying in the place of someone I love? Seems like a good way to go.”

A few hours later, Tia was just sitting in front of the television with a frown on her face as the last scene ended with the teenage girl being next to her sparkling boyfriend.

“That...was stupid,” she said before looking over to me. “Quick, remind me how you and Twilight got together again. I can’t wake up with that thing in my head being the last thing I saw in this place.”

I did.

She sighed in relief.

“A bit rushed but...it was still a better love story than that thing.”