Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 74

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Chapter 74

I look at Twilight. “Hey, is that any way to treat our host, Twilight? I thought you were a nice pony!”

Twilight just covers her face with, well, me, and screams in what can only be abject terror.

Granny Pie rolls her eyes, of which she now has dozens. “Pfft, I haven’t done any good Boojum work in decades, weeks even.” I look over at her, and see that she’s now a giant insect of some kind, and petting the cat from earlier.

“Come on Twilight, what were you expecting? A Snark?”

“Technically, dear, I am a snark.” Granny Pie points out.

Huh, as I recall, Boojum pretended to be Snarks... huh, oh well. “That doesn’t matter. Come on Twi, you’re a grown mare, stop acting like that, just be glad you haven’t insulted Granny Pie.” I peel Twilight off of me and drop her onto the floor, making sure she at least lands on her feet. “And watch out for the egg timers, you wouldn’t want to ruin their reunion either, would you?”

Twilight just sort of gibbers incoherently, and Cadence rolls her eyes, levitating Twilight into one of the plush chairs.

“Actually,” Granny Pie states, “I am rather insulted, but pay that no mind, you’ve only got one and none to share.” I’m not sure if I’m insulted by that or not. Technically I do have just one mind.

Cadence just laughs. “Oh, I forgot how fun it is speaking in Wunderland. Oh, Mrs. Pie, if you-”

Granny Pie holds up a hoof, looking like an alicorn as well, but of some madness or another. “Now now, ‘mrs.’ is my godmother’s name. I’m Preamble Pie, if you’re going by first names.”

Cadence seems to have lost her train of thought. I feel compelled to offer to help her find it... she’s right, Wunderland is awesome! I look over at Twilight. I feel like she might be a bit over her head here. She’s having a bit of trouble transitioning, which means I can say just about anything now.

Twilight twitches violently, then relaxes. “I am most sorry for being so rude to you, madam, and I hope that you might forgive me.”

Granny Pie scoffs. “Well, it’s better than nothing, I suppose.” A loud ding echoes from the kitchen, and Granny Pie stands up, turning into a vaguely anthropomorphic giraffe in the process. She steps quickly to the kitchen, and comes back with the casserole dish from earlier, the top covered with foil, but steaming slightly.

“Ah, here we are! I’m afraid you haven’t said much, Cadence, so your serving’s a little light, but it should be good anyways.”

Cadence titters. “Don’t worry, I’m on a diet. A light meal is better for me anyways.”

Granny Pie nods, scooping something from the casserole dish, and pours directly onto Cadence... some light? A rainbow burst of color flows like a liquid towards Cadence before splitting off in every direction. Oh, a ‘light meal’. Cadence looks a little disappointed, as well.

“I’m not sure how much I’m going to get, I’ve been rather talkative. I’d hate to be given too much.” I say, starting to catch on.

“Well, if you’re sure.” Granny Pie says, handing me a bowl and spooning out a... pile of letters? My other guess was right, I was about to literally eat my own words. Hah, called it! Shrugging, I take a spoonful and it is pulled up in sentences, acting like noodles, even though the letters aren’t connected. It’s like alphabet ramen! I take a spoonful of the stuff and put it in my mouth, wondering what it would taste like.

I nearly can’t tell I’ve eaten it, and it’s really kind of bland. Every now and then, there’s something that tastes good, but it’s not as tasty as I’d thought sometimes.

Twilight begins gibbering again, while Pinkie is handed a small plate, with a donut on it, her two sentences on the top in icing. I have the strong feeling she was gaming me for everything I got.

Finally, after everyone had eaten, Twilight not liking hers for how hot it was, Granny Pie handed out dessert. It was a bunch of words, bunched up and sort of like cookies.

The first one I picked up said, ‘THERE’S NO REASON TO WORRY, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING’. Huh. I feel like I should expect the next one to say ‘HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS’ but that’s just a guess.

I look down at the plate, and see Twilight pick up exactly the one I was expecting. Well, now, this should be interesting. I take a bit of my own cookie, finding it quite palatable and easy to swallow. I take another bite, not knowing whether I should expect the same or different. Both were just as likely. How it happens is that it’s just as tasty and easy to down as the first bite, if not easier.

I glance over and see Cadence politely refusing the dish, and I get a good look at the dish from a different angle than before, revealing that the dish full of word-cookies is only half there, many of the cookies sticking off into empty space, some only hanging in there by chance or a well-hooked J or C.

Granny Pie looks at me. “It’s pretty good, right? Such lovely notions, too bad they’re only half-done. Still, I only had enough for a half bakery, so no full ideas.” Oh god, I just swallowed a half-baked idea.

But then, so did Twilight. Hah, this should be interesting. “So Twilight,” I ask. “What’s on your mind... figuratively?” Yeah, I think I know how to get this to work out right.

“Well, I’ve got something, but it’d be easier to show you than tell you.” Twilight levitates her plate towards me. “Here, hold my food, and watch this.”

I grin widely and take it. This will be awesome!

Twilight stands on the edge of the table, and Cadence looks up, worry on her face. Twilight, through sheer dint of skill, balances herself wobbily on one hoof, determination on her face as she begins charging a spell. Then, she falls over, and would have cracked her head open if Cadence hadn’t caught her.

Ha, half-baked indeed. I am never going to let Twi live this down. I’m just laughing and I finish off my cookie. I know what I’m doing, no reason for me to worry.

Chuckles aside, though, we all relax on the couches, and the cat even comes over, and lays on my lap.

“Hello there.” I say to the cat. “Do you mind if I pet you?”

“I was rather counting on it, actually. Now would you get to work?” Definitely an actual cat, then.

“Very well then. I’m told I’m good with my fingers.” I begin petting the cat, and turn to Twilight. “So, how are you enjoying Wunderland, Twi?”

“I think I had an aneurysm, but that’s not important.” Twilight’s mane spontaneously wigs out, strands springing in every direction. “Once we actually leave tomorrow morning, I can start researching everything. Oh, it’s going to be so much fun!”

“Research is fine, but don’t forget to experience things as well.”

“How could I forget? You need to experience the paperwork to make it work! It makes sense, because we’re in Wunderland!” I think Twilight broke. Crap. Oh well, I’ll try and fix her, but first I might need to find the pieces.

I turn to Cadence. “You know we’ve already eaten, you don’t have to stay quiet.”

Cadence shrugs. “I’m not that talkative, really. Just when there’s something I want to talk about.” I look over, and see that there’s a big bite taken out of a cookie labeled, ‘IT’S PROBABLY BETTER TO SAY NOTHING AT ALL’.

I check to see what sort of cookie Pinkie got. She’s gnawing gently on one that says, ‘SILENCE IS GOLDEN. DUCT TAPE IS A TOOL. I HAVE ONE AND CAN MAKE THE OTHER’. I’m not sure what to think about that. For the time being, I just decide to sit and pet the cat. Then something occurs to me. I can ask a question. “So what do cats think about all day?”

“Well, I suppose it depends on the cat. I, personally, imagine every way I can brutally murder my owner.” The cat pauses for a moment. “After num-nums, of course.” Yup, that sounds like a cat all right. I sigh and return to my petting, wondering what will happen next.

After an hour of conversation, both confusion and not, we’re finally too tired to go anywhere, and end up passing out on the chairs, Twilight being the only one who protested. Seems she’s still afraid of the Boojum that is Pinkie’s grandma. I can’t imagine someone feeling skeptical after they just got free food. I feel like I need to help Twilight adjust... tomorrow... maybe. Next Chapter: Chapter 75 Estimated time remaining: 24 Hours, 55 Minutes

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