I wake up and I see I’m still in the chair, though my current surroundings aren’t granted to be the same as when I fell asleep, this being Wunderland, so once I rub the sleep from my eyes I take a look around and I see that the room is... gone. In fact, I’m rather alone now, sitting in a very comfy chair in the midst of a jungle with bright, cheerfully colored plants.

I don’t trust any of them.

A tall, tall tree with blue bark and blue vines is the most vivid piece of color, but there’s a small bed of flowers nearby, all of them a tall as my waist. There’s all sorts of bushes, plants, and other things leaving me with no obvious way out of the clearing.

I don’t really have much to do. I’m lost and I don’t want to just wander off. Who knows what will happen? So I call out for Pinkie, Twilight and Cadence, hoping they are somewhere nearby.

A gentle chirping, something moving in the jungle, and various animal noises are all that answers me.

A quiet tittering sound, almost exactly what I’d imagine fancy noble-ladies ‘politely’ laughing at someone would sound like, comes from the clearing.

Not really knowing what to expect, I just decide to check it out. After a few moments of walking, I realize the sound isn’t changing in volume. Then I realize it’s the flowers around me. Sure, laughing flowers, because why the fuck not?

“What’s so funny?”

The ‘polite’ tittering only gets more prevalent, and I look at the bed of waist-high flowers. It looks like they’re all looking inwards, towards... something, I’m not sure. I try to crane my neck to see what they’re ‘looking’ at.

Leaning over the flowers causes them to notice me, gasping and leaning away from me as I loom over them. In their midst is... Twilight. She’s about an inch and a half tall, and has a couple of bleeding cuts on her. She also looks terrified.

Very very carefully I pick her up. I’m not sure how the shrinking affected her hearing, so I decide I’d whisper. Geez, she is really tiny! “Twilight, what happened? Well, aside from the obvious answer ‘you shrunk’ that is.”

She moves her mouth, and gesticulates wildly, but I can’t hear a thing from her, even though she’s no more than four inches in front of me.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you. You are really tiny.” I whisper. I need to think of something. “Geez, I still wish I could shrink. Uh... here.” I try to hold her up to my ear, this is certainly becoming an interesting adventure.

As clear as if she was normal sized, I hear her talk into my ear, and I can feel her teeny hooves on my ear. “Why are you whispering, Anthony? I can hear you just fine! Also, we need to get away from those flowers, they attacked me! They said I was a rat...” She sounds really put out.

I stop whispering. “Well, pardon me, sorry for not knowing if the possibility of my voice at it’s normal volume could have shattered your now tiny eardrums. Guess I shouldn’t be so considerate in the future.” I snark as I wade my way through the flowers.

I can almost hear Twilight rolling her eyes. “Oh come on, Anthony, you can’t get ear damage from loud noises. That’s just ridiculous!”

I hold her up to my face, looking into her teeny little eyes. “Wanna prove that? I’m willing to bet at this point, me clapping or just yelling would hurt your ears. Again, it happens to humans.”

Twilight gives me a micro-sized look of incredulity. “Well, then maybe humans are more fragile than ponies! Because pegasi regularly deal with sonic booms and thunderclaps, and those would be louder, mathematically, than you clapping right now would be.”

“Yeah, you think our mortality rate would be so high if we were all super tough? We die from some really stupid things. We aren’t that amazing.”

“Well, then, take my word for it - the only thing that causes damage to eardrums is physical violence. It’s not like sound is a physical force or anything, it’s magical!”

I decide to explain the vibration of air molecules for later, instead I take another approach. “And we all know that magic can’t possibly be dangerous.”

“Only battlemagic and wild magic are dangerous, unless seriously mishandled!” Heh, her voice is so whispery like this.

“So anyway, we should probably find a way to get you back to normal, or heal your wounds. Not sure which is more pressing, honestly.”

I feel something tap me on the leg, gently. I look down and see that one of the flowers is trying to get my attention. It appears to be a poppy, and is only as tall as my knee. “Uhm, mister, why are you talking to a rat?” it asks.

“Because you never know what you could learn from a rat. I’m sure that they might have interesting things to talk about.” I completely avoid mentioning the fact that Twilight isn’t a rat, and this visibly annoys her.

The little flower looks thoughtful, but the larger ones titter again.

“So, why were you attacking her?”

The other flowers gasp, sounding offended. “We were just defending our roots! Everyone knows rats will hurt some poor flower if they get the chance.” I notice that most of the flowers are tall, dense roses, covered in very long thorns. That explains Twilight’s injuries...

“So I assume you have nothing to do with her size? She’s supposed to be much bigger.” I give Twilight a sideways glance. “Though not by too much.”

The flowers titter again, something that is starting to get very annoying. “Well, she was here, and that size when she showed up here. If she gets any fatter though, you’ll want to get a new rat.” The rose, with its face-shaped arrangement of petals, put its ‘nose’ in the air.

“Yeah, doesn’t get much exercise, this one, that happens when you spend all day reading.” I’m having a ton of fun at Twilight’s expense. “Anyway, you nice flowers wouldn’t happen to know how we could fix this, would you?”

The flowers all tittered again. The little poppy spoke up, however. “You could go see the caterpillar.” The other flowers immediately hushed the little one. Ah herbivores. Suddenly a lot more violent when the plants talk.

“Well, do you know where I could find the caterpillar?”

The flowers all shot angry-looking glares at the poppy. The largest rosebush, near the edge of the flower bed, harumphed. “If you want to go see that slovenly, gluttonous borrre, then simply follow the widderrrshins path until the forrrk in the road. Perrrhaps you could bathe your rrrat while you’re at it, the little vermin smells of fleas.” She was trying really hard to make her R-rolling to sound regal.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t doubt it, fur and all. Anyhow, I’m not terribly familiar with the area. If you could point me in the right direction, my rat and I will be on our way.”

The large rosebush pointed imperiously with a thorny, yet graceful leaf, by and large very different than the roses I’ve seen before... ever. Either way, the path was very clearly visible, now that it had been pointed out.

“It’s rrright beforrre the Chessboarrrd.” she snaps, before rotating in place, and sniffing imperiously. The rest of the flowers do the same, minus the nice little poppy.

“Okay, thank you. I will be on my way then.” I start walking but then a thought occurs to me. I need somewhere safe to put Twilight, so I drop her into my chest pocket earning a tiny “Hey!” before I couldn’t hear anything else from her.

I look down to make sure she’s physically alright, and see that she’s popped her little head out of the top of my pocket, using her forehooves to grip the edge of the pocket. I repress a chuckle that likely would’ve rattled her brains.

“So, you don’t remember anything? Well, what do you remember?” I ask as I walk along the path that the rose indicated.

“Well, we went to sleep last night, and then I woke up, really tiny! I had to run away from a cat with purple and blue stripes on it, and then I wandered into the flowerbed. They asked me what kind of flower I was! I’m not a flower, and I told them so. Then, they thought I was a rat! Really, a rat? Hmmph, I’m more in the shape and size for something like a mouse, not a rat!” Twilight kept talking, ranting about how unfair the comparison was, and that she’d been called fat as if it was an insult, something I was a little interested in. After all, I can’t tell what’s supposed to be ‘attractive’ as far as mares go, so I don’t know if slim or thick is more preferred. Other than that, there’s not much more to her speech than indignity.

“Cat with purple stripes, huh? Well, I suppose that could be a Cheshire Cat, though they do have a tendency to alter their shape and color. Anyhow, you say you were tiny before you met him, or you woke up tiny and it was there already?”

The tiny Twilight nodded her head. “I was tiny when I woke up. The cat was a little ways away from me.”

“Well, it seems you’ve been pranked by a Cheshire Cat. Welcome to Wunderland, where science is useless and pretty much everything wants to screw with you or kill you.”

Twilight scrunched down a little in my pocket.

“What’s wrong, Twi? Earlier, you were ecstatic about getting to come here. You didn’t read all those books and think ‘that won’t happen to me’ did you?”

Twilight shook her head. “My magic isn’t working. I didn’t know my magic wouldn’t work.”

“Well, since Wunderland is such a weird, reality-bending place, I expected magic to not work. Seriously, why would you think anything would act normal here?”

Twilight looked back up at me, her tiny head against my chest. “But the books never said anything about magic not working! There’s plenty of unicorns who’ve come through and it worked just fine for them!”

“Twilight, this is Wunderland! You want some advice? Fine, here it is. Fuck logic! There. That’s it. Just forget logic exists. Nothing here follows the rules for each other. What makes you think outsiders would be treated any different?”

“But- but the books-” Twilight looks utterly betrayed.

“Books aren’t perfect. One pers- pony’s experience may be different from another’s. That works octo-quintuple for Wunderland.”

I can barely hear Twilight sniffle. “But the books never lied before...”

“There’s a first time for everything, isn’t there. Let this be a lesson: not everything that get’s written and published is absolute fact. Authors and scholars get stuff wrong. Don’t act like you’ve never screwed up.” I pause. “And if you do, I can offer a few examples.”

Twilight just slid into my pocket, hiding from the world. I sigh. She is far too trusting of those books. I mean, I love books too, granted not to the same extent. But I still don’t believe everything.

“Books shouldn’t be used for absolute facts, merely guidelines. There’s always going to be times where something happens and something you read doesn’t apply. Just because someone says something and it gets into a book doesn’t mean it should be followed blindly. Too much trust ends up with you shrunk and attacked by flowers.”

There’s no response from my pocket. I look up and I notice the fork in the road. I think about how I’d go about contacting the caterpillar. Where would I find him?

While I’m thinking, I notice a puff of silver fur in the edge of my vision, and I look up to see that there’s a large, happy-looking cat with royal purple and silver stripes in its coat. The cat is smiling at me. Wait, not stripes, it’s a spiral of silver and purple staring at its nose and whirling back towards the tip of its tail.

“Ah, hello there. I suppose you have some trick or such planned for me to use for your amusement?”

The cat rolls over on the branches, exposing tis belly. “Now why, my dear, would I ever do that?” The cat’s voice is feminine, like a mother’s. “Not all of us are tricksters and cheats. That’s stereotyping. Also, that’s a stereo, typing.” The cat pointed towards the side of the road, where a small stereo sat, happily hammering away on a typewriter. It had tiny metal fists and was literally punching the keys.

“Indeed it is. As for my assumption, it was merely based on the fact that if I had similar abilities, that’s exactly what I would do all day. Anyhow, I’m looking for a caterpillar, and was told to look around here.”

“A caterpillar? Why he’s a good friend of mine! I’ve known him almost an hour.” the cat rolls over again, and the silver parts of her fur begin to vanish, spiraling up her tail towards her head. The purple stripe collapse into a pile of ribbons. The smile and eyes float towards me. “So, whatcha need the caterpillar for?”

“My friend here has run into a bit of trouble. I was told the caterpillar could help her.” I pull Twilight out of my pocket and hold her up. “She’s supposed to be bigger.”

Twilight glares up at me. The cat face drifts closer, and Twilight sees it. She begins screaming, though this doesn’t deter the cat. Probably because I’m holding her rather closer to me, and I can barely hear the shrieking.

“Well, now, a tiny pony! Well, I suppose that’s a bit of an oddity, but perhaps it’s not her who shrunk? Maybe it’s you who’s bigger!” The cat remarks, looking at me again.

“Well, that is certainly possible, but if I had grown, I should be able to return myself to normal size, and it seems I can’t get any smaller than I already am. Would the caterpillar be able to help us out?”

The cat face spins in midair, the stripes reforming behind it. “Well, I suppose he could, but only if you can cross the board. After all, he eats with the Hatter family on oddly-numbered days of the minute.” The cat looks thoughtful for a moment. “Though I suppose that’s most days now, as they usually aren’t numbered by weeks. Either way, though, you’ll need to take the place of a piece... hmm, I do believe Poppy isn’t going to make it to the board, seeing as how she’s been uprooted. You could be a pawn, in her stead!” The cat grins even wider, smile no longer even pretending to be bound by the cat’s face.

“Alright, works for me. What do you think Twilight? Up for a game of chess?”

The diminutive unicorn gives a sullen nod of her head.

“Alright, where’s the board?” I ask, turning back to the cat.

The cat is gone, only a broken signpost at the fork in the road. The sign points down one path, and is labeled ‘The Chessboard’, while the other is missing most of itself, and what is visible is a thick block of text I can’t read.

“Alright, let’s go play some chess. Come on Twi, cheer up.” I begin walking my way down the path, placing the puny purple pony into my pocket.

I walk along the road, until I find myself unable to continue. I’m not sure why, but I don’t feel like doing anything for a few moments. I look around. I’m in a square-ish patch of dirt and grass, the grass a brittle yellow-brown and the dirt dry. Next to me, I see a tall, slender person in a fine suit step past me, heading off in one direction. I didn’t get a good look at him, but he seemed friendly, waving goodbye at me as he passed.

Anyhow, I get a better look around me. Maybe get an explanation for my sudden apathy for advancement. I look around, and decide not to wait any longer. I’m about to step onto the lusher, darker grass ahead, when I note that there’s a deep puddle in the middle of it. I sigh, and hop over it. Jumping in puddles is fun, but I don’t have replacement shoes. There’s a small stand of trees right ahead of me.

I can feel my eyebrow raise, practically of their own accord. Is the chessboard really short? As I think about that, a stocky, solid sort of creature ambles up, laying down only a couple of feet away. It’s huge, with a white, shaggy pelt. There’s a ghostly gray pattern of a checkerboard design along most of its back, ending at about the tops of its thighs/shoulders, and it’s moving like a large dog. It’s face, though, gets me. It’s like a dog’s face, but has a set of black, shiny teeth protruding from its face in place of a muzzle. I can hear Twilight’s gasp of surprise clearly.

“That’s a Bandersnatch!” she says, sounding awed. “Why is it just laying there?”

“Because it’s waiting for it’s instruction. It’s playing chess just like we are. I’m a pawn, remember?”

Twilight nods as the realization hits her. The Bandersnatch looks up at me. “So... You the new pawn?” Huh, didn’t know that Bandersnatches could talk. Bandersnatches? Bandersnatchi? Nah, probably just ‘es’.

“Yes I am. I’m filling in for Poppy today.”

The Bandersnatch humphs. “Too bad. I hoped you’d be the enemy.” The large beast lays down facing the other direction.

“Well, we’ll just have to see how this plays out.” I sit and wait, looking in the same direction, waiting for when I am to be moved. Playing a pawn may not be fancy, but at least it’s simple. I decide to talk with Twilight while I wait. “So, how are you liking Wunderland?”

Twilight just retreats back into my pocket, prompting a flare of frustration from me. “Hiding in there isn’t going to make things better. And neither is pouting. Seriously. Also, if you don’t stop freaking out at everything you’ll have a heart attack before the day is over.”

When no response comes to me, I sigh again. She’s just not listening, it seems. I look over at the woods, and realize that the sun, while a crisp, golden-green disc in the sky, is nice to have out, I’m beginning to bake over here. Maybe I can just walk over to the woods and rest in the shade until I’m ready to move? Well... maybe I shouldn’t. I am supposed to wait for an order. I can’t just move anywhere I want... eh screw it, I’m hot. I walk over to the trees.

I lean against a tree, the bark refreshingly cool. My eyes snap open as a call of “Have at you!” meets my ears, and I see a pony, a lance sprouting from its shoulder, charging at me.

Hah, it’s a knight... Oh shit! It’s a knight! I knew I shouldn’t have moved. I expect impact, and I reflexively Spark up and go intangible. After a few moments of nothing, I realize I’m unharmed. The knight stopped on a space nearby... Phew.

I look over, and see the the knight in more details. He’s a blood-red stallion, with a helmet over his eyes that completely obscures both the upper half of his face, but also his eyes. I can see the jaw, shaped almost exactly like Big Mac’s, though.

The lance seems to be growing from his shoulder like a narwhal tusk, and points forward with a wicked point. Considering it’s pointed right at me, I get a good look at the tiny, cruel barbs in the end of the lance, and the part of the lance meant to break. This isn’t a tournament prop like a real lance, this thing is meant to hurt.

While I can’t see under the helmet, I get the feeling the knight is glaring at me. Fortunately, I know the rules. I’m going to be perfectly fine. With the knight directly in front of me, his L-shaped path could never possibly land on me. He’s intimidating, but harmless.

A roar shakes both our concentrations, and I look back to see the Bandersnatch charge the knight, catching him full on from the side. The huge quadruped takes down the Knight, and I catch my first glimpse under the knight’s helmet as the Bandersnatch tears its flat, cutting teeth into the pony’s neck. Only a glance, but it’s a pair of terrified, pale yellow eyes. Then, the Bandersnatch hunches over its meal.

I feel the urge to make sure Twilight isn’t looking. Such an intellectual boardgame turned into ‘Survival of the Fittest’ might just be the last straw and make her snap. Thankfully, she’s still in my pocket and hiding.

I feel the need to move on, and realize it’s probably the game urging me to make my move. Next Chapter: Chapter 76 Estimated time remaining: 24 Hours, 40 Minutes