Huh. This is odd. I'm back in the plane but I'm also not in the plane. When did things go third person? I'm looking at myself as the plane lurches from side to side. There goes Ms. Daft Cunt, falling in the aisle. Huh, I don't seem to remember that part… Oh, hold on. Yeah, that makes more sense. That's why Ms. Cunt went flying when she did. And Mr. Dozy Prat? He fell in just behind her… Oooo, that had to hurt! Man, this would be so funny if I didn't know what comes next. The pretty brunette, she's out cold now. I think her name is Janice, but I'm not sure.

Oh, wait, here it comes- And there it goes! The engine just exploded. Lo and behold, there's more to see this time around! Everything is moving like a movie set in frame-by-frame mode. There's the fuselage blowing backward. I see myself get lifted up and out of my seat. That's a revelation in and of itself. Huh, what is the filmy stuff covering me? Whatever it is, it's blocking a good deal of shrapnel… Ouch! Man, even in this disembodied, omnipresent state, I can feel it when that engine turbine blade tears through my leg… That's odd, though, because it looks like it passes through my thigh and not my calf. Huh.

I can see the fire whip around wild at 35,000 feet. That film of mine doesn't protect me from that. In this frame-by-frame mode, I can see the skin redden, bubble, then blacken as the flames lick at it. Oh, what is this? A SECOND explosion? Didn't see that coming. Is that why my landing in Equestria was littered with torn appendages? Must be, because I see so many displaced body parts to be nothing but a high powered explosion. Funny, I don't seem to be too concerned about things. I actually look kinda at peace. Hey, wait a minute- What is…? Where did that black hole looking thing come from?

My right arm feels heavy. Not sure why… When did I pass out? The last thing I remember was looking at a crazed man and shouting. There was a noise- FUCKING SHIT, I JUST SHOT A MAN! I FUCKING KILLED HIM TO DEATH!

"YUKKA FOOB MOG! GRUG PUBBAWUP ZINK WATTOOM GAZORK! GRIZZLE SNORK! CHUMBLE SPUZZ!"

"Whoa now, feller, easy does it!" A Southern accent-? No, the emphasis is all off. There's a bit of Tennessee twang in it, but from the Ozark region. It's no Southern Drawl I know.

"Wazza-?"

"Stevie!" That sounds like Fluttershy.

Golden forelegs wrap my neck. It's okay, I'm okay. At least I think I am.

"Flutters?"

"Oh, you had us so worried!" The golden Pegasus says.

"Us?"

I look around and several things have changed while I was out to lunch. I see Twilight and that's a slight relief, but I also notice several ponies in the room. And why is there shelves and shelves of books in Fluttershy's cottage? I'm pretty sure she didn't have a study like this…

"Y'all alright, sugarcube?"

It's The Tennessee Volunteer again. I look around and all the ponies, and what looks like a Komodo dragon, giving me concerned looks. When did they get here?

"Dunno. I was having a- night- mare?"

When did I leave Fluttershy's house?

"Where am I?"

"You're in my home, Steven." Twilight informs me.

"You're- home, Twilight?"

The purple princess nods, "Yes."

"You live in a library? That is so you!"

"Stevie…" Flutters nags.

"Sorry, Flutters. So, uh, why am I here? Why are you all here?"

"You mean you don't remember?" The inquisitor is a mare I haven't met before. She has a New Englander accent.

"Remember-?" I twirl my pointer finger, trying to move the conversation along.

"That crazed human, the metal thing in your- hooves…" The New Englander says.

I look down at my arm and sure enough, the pistol is still there. My gorge rises as I recall the memory. I let the weapon fall; it clunks loudly on the wooden floor.

"I have to say, dahling, that if you've forgotten what happened an hour ago, I would feel very slighted. Twilight, myself, and little Spikey-Wikey spent an ETERNITY cleaning up the mess you left behind." The New Englander reminds me.

"Oh, right, that." I sat flatly. I'm feeling equal parts guilty and queasy about the shooting.

Fluttershy interjects, "Oh, Twilight! We haven't introduced the rest of the girls yet, have we?"

Twilight replies, "You're right, we haven't. Steven, would you like to meet our BMFFs?"

"Uh, sure." I have no idea what BMFFs mean, other than it being a comic book onomatopoeia.

I see wide grin form on Fluttershy's face and she floats back to Twilight for I assume is now a meet-and-greet.

"Well, you know Fluttershy and myself. So, little me start with this little guy," she points at the Komodo dragon, "This is Spike…"

The mulberry drake waves a taloned hand, "Hi!" The little fellow is has a rosela in his cheeks. Gotta wonder if it's from being in proximity of the snowy mare to his left.

"Wassup?" I reply.

"Over here is Rarity…"

"Scarcity," unicorn mare, a beautiful cobalt mane, diamond-themed brand on her flank. The New Englander; how charming.

"Good afternoon."

"Caio, bella." Rarity blushes a little at that.

"This is Applejack…"

"Applesmack," normal pony mare, blonde mane in a plait, wears a Stetson, has an apple trio branding. The Volunteer.

"Hey, there!' cries the gamboge mare in a Stetson.

"Howdy!" My Texas drawl returns in full force.

"This is Rainbow Dash…"

"Danish Slash," sky blue pegasus, chromatic mane, thunderhead -and-prismatic-lighting-bolt brand. She has a Brooklyn lilt.

"Hiya!" crows the other Pegasus in the room, who bears a striking semblance to a racing horse.

"How you doin'?" Where in the fuck did I pull out Joey Tribbiani?

"And this here is Pinky Pie!"

"Punkie Pipe," true to her name, the mare is pink, from her hooves to her mane. She is bouncing excitedly and I can't tell if she's nervous or plain energetic. Her brand is threesome of colored balloons.

"Hihihi! I'mPinkiePieandIlovemeetingnewponies! Doyoulikecake? Ilovecake! Ooo,Ihaven'tthrownyouapartyyet! Onceyou'reallbetter,I'llthowyouawelcometoPonyville,Thankyouforsavingmyfriendsparty!! Doyoulikechocolate? Doya? Doya?! Oh,maybeIcanmakeyouaquadruplelayerchocolatecakewithchocolatefrosting!!! Oh,Iamsoexcited! Hey,doyouwannabuildasnowman?"

I blink, mostly out of confusion. The rush of words is nigh incomprehensible to me. It's wonder anyone else can understand the raspberry mare.

"Can you say that again, but with a break between words? And questions?"

"Oooo, this is so EXCITING!" Pinkie Pie croons.

Applejack says, "You'll have t' forgive Pinkie Pie. She's really excitable."

"You don't say." I deadpan.

Twilight then says, "Well, that's everyone. Why don't you introduce yourself, Steven?"

"Uh, sure. My name is Steven, I'm 35, single, I don't know how I got here, but I believe it was the end result of an airplane explosion. I, uh, I work as a C.I.S. Specialist for a regional bank; I like the smell of lemons and I have a major sweet tooth."

"♪And chocolate?♫" Pinkie Pie croons.

"Chocolate is made of epic."

"Ooooo!" Pinkie looks like she's about to explode.

"I gotta question." Rainbow Dash looks inquisitive.

"Shoot."

"What's an 'airplane.'" Rainbow asks.

"An- Okay, uh, an airplane is a large, pressurized conveyance that takes people cross country, and in a lot of cases across continents, by way of air. It uses huge jet engines to move the multi-ton machine at speeds exceeding three hundred miles an air. It's about the safest way to travel, relatively speaking."

Dash seems confused, "What?!"

"Well, humans can't fly, so we use airplanes to do so. There's a whole science to it all."

"Well, that is is- fascinating, dahling."

"Unconvinced, Rarity?"

"Well, in a word, yes. Humans don't have the intellect to devise such a machine." Rarity says.

"You're certain of this?" I ask.

"Well, after meeting you, not so much," she admits, "by the by, what exactly is a 'see eye es specialist.'"

"Ever heard a computer?" I ask.

Rarity shakes her in the negative.

"That's okay," I say, "I don't wanna give you information overload."

"Come to think of it," Rainbow says, "nothing you've said seems real. It all sounds a little- made up."

I add, "The feeling is mutual. I'm not completely convinced this is all for real. Back where I come from, ponies don't talk. They're typically service animals. Don't get my started on the pony rides at a petting zoo; that just blow your little minds." All the mares in the room pale a little at that, even though I'm not sure how the albaster rarity is capable of making that happen, "Ponies also don't they make homes or read books. I was certain a few days ago this was all some scene my mind was generating as I plummeted to my death. Or that it was some drug-induced fantasy while I lay comatose in an ICU ward. I do have a very active imagination…"

"Imaginary are we?" Rainbow Dash growls, "I'll show you what's imaginary!"

As her name implies, Dash is on me in a wink. One of her hooves comes down on my head.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK?!" I cry out.

I see all the ponies and Spike jump backwards. All except Pinkie Pie, who is fascinated by what I have in my hand.

"Steven, you need to put. That. Down!" Twilight implores.

"What are you-?"

When- when did the pistol get in my hand? I can't be that fast!

"How-?"

Twilight speaks soothingly but firmly, "Just. Put it. Down."

Twilight is remarkably calm during this. I, for one, am starting to suffer a panic attack. I should put the gun down, though. It's a pretty good pistol. A SIG/Sauer P226, looks to be government issue. I wish I know more about operating one of these; I could make sure it doesn't get used against my benefactors here. Hmm, is that the safety-? No, that's the magazine release. I hear it drop with a *THUNK!* to the floor. Pinkie is mesmerized by it. So, is this it-? No, that should be the breakdown lever…

You know, I should make sure there isn't a round in the chamber. Twilight was right about my left arm; as I bring to grasp the checkering on the back of the pistol's slide, I can barely feel the cool metal or the friction of the checkering. Still, I grip it, rack the slide and a round pops out. I have enough time to see the stamp around the pressure plate: WIN 9MM. This too falls to the floor and Pinkie scoops it up. She's like a raven that way, fascinated by shiny objects. My mind can't comprehend how she's capable of scooping up anything with hooves; an inquiry for another day, methinks. I place the gun down and look expectantly at my hostesses.

"It's all good now; you can loosen your sphincters."

"How did you do that, dahling?" Rarity asks.

"Do- what?"

"That thing- It was on tha floor an' then it flew to yer- hoof?" Applejack says.

"Hand, actually. And to answer your question, Rarity, I do not know how I did that."

"Just what exactly is that thing?" Twilight inquires.

"It's a pistol; the sky marshal I- killed, was wearing it."

Dash pipes in, "That reminds me: Just what happened at Fluttershy's there, Stevie?"

"Uh, Dashie-"

"Rainbow, no one, and I mean, NO ONE, calls me 'Stevie.' As they say where I come from, 'Them be fightin' words.' Flutters is a lone exception."

"Oookaaaaay…" Dash replies.

"As for what happened at the cottage…" I sigh, "A human, like myself, crashed into Fluttershy's place. He was trying to kill us, but his pistol misfired. Then he went after Fluttershy and nearly tore her wings off. If I hadn't found his weapon and used it, you'd be writing Flutters epitaph."

"Is that why there so much- gore?" Rarity questions.

"I guess, Rarity. I got lucky; I've never fired a pistol before except in video games. I've only ever fired a rifle and I was a kid back then. Uh, a foal to you; a colt."

"But why did it work for you when the- sky marshal, couldn't?" Twilight implores.

"Truth be told, Twilight, your guess is as good as mine."

"Well, it seems humans are as barbaric as the old mares tale say they are." Rarity moans.

"Rarity, do me a solid and don't be talking shit you don't understand."

"Well I never-! Such coarse language! It's uncouth!" Rarity

Fluttershy implores with her friend, "Rarity, Stevie just went through a very traumatic experience. All these questions and the strangeness of our world must be overwhelming him."

"Well said, Flutters."

"True as that may be," Twilight adds icily, "you pose a threat."

"Yeah, you tell 'im, Twilight!" RD cheers.

"When have I ever- Flutters, your wing!"

My hostess of late has a bandage wrapped around her right wing and she seems grounded for now. How did I not notice that before?

"It's okay. Doctor Remedial says I should fine in a couple of days." Fluttershy responds.

"But your wing… Does it hurt?"

Flutters shrugs, saying, "It's kinda sore and the bandages are really tight, but it's fine."

I breathe sigh of relief.

"Girls, can we talk?" Pinkie calls.

In all this time, Pinkie Pie hasn't really said anything. I gotta wonder what she has to say. The ponies, including Spike, gather in a huddle. I can scarcely hear what discussed but when they break, I can see a look of resignation in Twilight's eyes.

"Okay, Steven, I was planning on writing to Princess Celestia about you and this- pistol of yours." Twilight says, "Instead, I'm going to let you stay here in Ponyville. Make no mistake; you will be under constant watch. One false move, and I'll have the Solar Guard down on you in a heafbeat."

"Okay…"

I wonder if Neo ever regretted not taking the blue pill…

To quote Morpheus: "Take the red pill, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."