My mood so far: dark, seething, inconsolable, berserk.

You know, it was bad enough that Twilight dismisses the idea of humans have any thought higher than where to take a shit or when to go to sleep, but call us "mindless?" Fuck and no. This is not cool.

Fluttershy asks me, "Stevie? Is everything okay?"

"No, it isn't Fluttershy, but thank you for asking."

My tone must be too dark; I see Fluttershy slink away from me. It's not the most effective tactic though it is adorable when she tries to hide herself behind her mane. Need to calm down… I did ask Flutters to keep my intellect on the down low, so it's much my fault as it is Twilight's. That's right, use your reason… Tame that monster temper of yours…

"I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I asked you to participate in that deception, so I only have myself to blame for Twilight's- ignorance."

"A-are y-y-you s-sure?" Her voice is shakey.

I nod, "Don't have a clue where she gets her data, but it seems outmoded to me."

Flutters tells me, "A-actually, I saw some of the books she read about humans. They're the latest ones available. They were only published last year."

"You don't say now?"

Fluttershy nods.

"So, humans are rather common 'round here?"

A shake of her head, "Not really. Humans are exceptionally rare. The last tribe of them was found in hills around Canterlot Mountain, but that was more than eight hundred years ago."

"Anybody know what happen to them?"

Flutters answers is, "Nopony knows. It's believed they may have fled into the wilderness, but nopony can say where exactly."

"Let me guess: the last reported sightings of Humans here was rather sketchy."

Another nod, "They were last seen by the Bridle River, close to Bridle Shores. Accounts of the encounter say they were foraging for food."

"And after that, nothing?"

One more nod, "There hasn't been a sighting since."

So, humans haven't been seen in Equestria for nearly a millennium? So, my presence here, if here is a real state of being, is what? Ominous? Curious? Harbinger of things to come? Uh, too many questions, too few answers.

"You know what, Flutters? It doesn't matter. I mean, I'm one human with an intellect to rival most ponies here, right? So what? As soon as I can back on my feet, I'm gone. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can get back home. Luckier still, if I can find any of my fellow passengers. Although…"

"Although, what?" Fluttershy sounds apprehensive.

"Although, I'm more than certain that they're dead. An explosion like THAT is bound to send souls to Heaven."

Hello, birds! Can you do me a solid and SHUT THE FUCK UP?! Pleaseandthankyou! Christ, I hate mornings. And who is this lunatic hanging on the bell this morning? Don't they know what time it is? Uh, I don't even know if Fluttershy is up yet. I wonder… Huh, when the door get opened?

"Hello there!"

Fuck, it's Sparklebutt.

"How are we doing this morning?"

I give a mocking smile (this immediately unnerves her) and reply, "In desperate need of caffeine and bacon. You?"

Uh-oh.

Twilight stammers, "Y-you-"

"Uh, Flutters? Twilight is here!"

Sparky is looking rather incredulous now, "But you- You can't-"

I wave at the purple phenomenon idling in the doorway. "Hey, Sparkle."

"Huh?"

"♪I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical…♫"

Annnnnnd down goes Twilight!

Fluttershy's voice comes form the stairway, "Stevie?"

"Down here!" I answer back.

"Did you say- TWILIGHT!"

I can't help laughing! I know that Flutters is very protective of all her friends, but the sight of a passed out Twilight is just too rich.

"Did I break her?" Still can't stop laughing.

Sternly, Fluttershy says, "This isn't funny!"

"You are quite correct, Fluttershy."

Huh? Who said that?

"Discord?"

I'm blinded by a flash and when I can finally see again, I get a vision that in any other state would send my gibbering. There's a way of describing the creature that appears in Fluttershy's living room, but I'm at a loss of how to do it. This Discord character… it's as if God was aiming to make something like a platypus but failed to read the instructions properly. I keep looking for seems or sutures on the guy.

"In the flesh! And might I say, a stunned Twilight isn't funny. IT'S HILARIOUS!"

That laugh…!

"Q?"

Wiping away a tear, this Discord looks at me and whistles. "Welly, welly, welly, well! What do we have here?"

"That depends… Did you just quote 'A Clockwork Orange?'" Have I gone completely insane now?

"I'm not sure; did I?"

I see Fluttershy and I feel my heart stop. She is not happy with is going on right now…

"Discord! It is not funny in the slightest that Twilight fainted! She is your friend. And Steven, you shouldn't have frightened Twilight like that!" she chides.

"I'm sorry…" Discord and I say that simultaneously.

"As you should be."

"Mommy… Is it the Summer Sun Celebration yet?"

Yeah, I think I went a little overboard with Twilight there. I still don't know what Discord/Q is still smiling about.

"Is Twilight gonna be okay, Flutters?"

Fluttershy answers me, "She's fine. I think she's just in shock."

"That's funny; she doesn't look electrocuted to me." Discord pipes in.

Stupid chimera… "Seriously?"

The chimera shoots back, "Hey, don't get mad at me; I just work here."

"Right…" I bet jokes aren't all you do, stupid chimera.

Oh, Flutters is employing The Stare again. This time, thankfully, not at me.

"DISCORD!"

"Ahh…"

Wow, just when I thought I couldn't witness a scarier a sight than Fluttershy angry, out comes this. She's like a certain ginger lass I know…

"You should know better than to poke fun at somepony! By Celestia's Horn, you're more than a thousand years old! Start acting like it!!"

"ImsosorryFluttershyitwonthappenpleaseohpleaseohplasestopstaringatmelikethat…" Discords says in a rush.

"Good. And YOU!"

Oh, shit…!

"You should be ashamed of yourself! You act intelligent but when it comes down to it, you're no better than Discord! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!" I cannot believe I just did that.

"And?" she implores.

"I WILL NEVER ACT LIKE A SPOILED BRAT OR A POMPOUS IMMATURE WANKER AGAIN!"

"That's better."

Oh, thank the Maker, she's smiling again.

"Discord, will you help me get Twilight into a chair, please."

"Y-yes, Fluttershy."

Serenity now…

Twilight just kicked open a hornets nest. Here's hoping she brought her bee keepers outfit…