Day Four of Seven

Agh, what time is it? I grab my watch and even though the crystal is cracked and almost unreadable, I see that is nearly four in the morning. Fuck…! Why am I awake right now? The rooster's ain't crowing, neither Applejack or Big Mac are up and about, so why am I rousted from sleep? Wait a minute… It's Rainbow Dash. That's way I'm awake. … That does not explain the raging erection tenting my sheets. Grrr, I might as well figure out what that silly mare is on about.

Jesus! Now that I'm up and out of bed, that boner I have stands out more than I thought! The boxer-briefs I have on are straining to contain it. Just when I thought life couldn't any weirder than it already is… Good God, is ArDee making a racket out there. What is she doing? Did she finally get so pent up she had to relieve herself with a donkey or something? Damn it all to Hell…

I wrench my back door open and vehemently whisper, "Rainbow Prism Dash, just what in the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

Oh-ho-ho! It seems I caught the stunt mare by surprise. Nothing like a little <in flagrante delicto> action to seriously mess up your night. Or morning, as the case may be.

"Oh, Steve, I uh- Well, maybe I- THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

"It isn't, huh?" I muse, "So I shouldn't infer that your rutting about in my back yard with a- man, who the Hell are you? A donkey, a mule? Get outta here, the both of ya!"

The- whatever that was that had been mounted against Rainbow about ten seconds ago beats feet. The mare in question groans in exasperation (maybe he wasn't very satisfying?) and then she gives me a hard glare.

"Nice going, Mister Man," ArDee rebukes, "he was just starting to get good!"

"Don't blame me for coitus interruptus. You and your date were rutting in my garden!" I point out, "Jesus, my carrots are all kinds of wrecked…! Do you know how long it took me to procure those things?"

"Ah, who cares! Besides, I know for a fact that Soarin' can't hold a candle to you."

People who know me understand that I happen to love schadenfreude, that sick sense of joy accompanying somebody else's misery. It just so happens that Dash's current misery inspired me to come up with a new kind torture for the prismatic mare.

"Okay," I sigh, "you can come in and we'll do- whatever. One time deal though, and if you try to renege on the it, I'll so own your ass."

"Deal!" Dash exclaims.

"Well, come on in," I groan, "get yerself comfortable."

Just what I figured, Dash is making her way to my bedroom. The soft creak I hear is her getting on my bed. (I was able to get a spring mattress after I somehow destroyed the goose feather one AyJay gave me.) I feel an evil laugh coming on…

I ask Dash,"Making yerself at home, I see?"

"Aw yeah," Dash coos, "your bed is really comfy."

"It should be, I say,"or else I'd be awake more often at this hour."

Dash gets a look on her face like she can tell what's keeping me awake tonight. Let her fantasize. She has no idea what's coming…

"So, what do you want to do tonight, Brain?"

Dash looks a little confused, "Huh?"

"I said, 'what do you want to do tonight?'"

"Oh," Dash exclaims, "welllll, I was hoping for a little 'fan service.'"

"Who's the fan," I ask, "who's gettin' the service?"

Dash says, "Me."

Taking off my pants and shirt, I give Dash a nod. Thankfully it's really dark at this hour of the morning. I can imagine the look I would get if Dash could see this sinister sneer on my face.

I lay down next to Dash, making a point of rubbing my flaccid member along her plot and say, "You're going to like this."

"Oh, I bet I- WHOA!"

I catch Dash unawares as I hoist her up in my arms. I have a perfect view of her plot and my first act of my- let's call it revenge, is to take my tongue and lick it along the slit of her marehood. She gasps in surprise but I can tell by her moans that it is a pleasant surprise. I continue licking along her slit until I can taste love juices from her snatch.

"Oh, wow- Steven," Dash pants, "I didn't know- you could- do that!"

"Oh, I Googled that." I smugly say.

"What- do- you- mean?" Dash gasps.

"None of your never mind." I reply and continue lapping at Dash's rapidly heating plot.

"Oh, Celestia-" Rainbow is over the moon now, "I- I- so good-!"

"I told you you'd like this."

Dash then screams, and I feel her shake in my arms. An extra squirt of fluid spills out of her slit, and I swallow every drop of it.

"I didn't know that a mare's juice could taste so good."

"You- should- try- it- more- often-!" Dash cries.

Alright, I nearly have her there. She just had another orgasm and the look on her face is pure joy. Time for the grand finale. I set Dash down back on the bed; I hear her moan. She isn't moaning after I slide my erection along her slit again. She's gasping and practically begging for more. I am eager to oblige, but probably not in the way Dash thinks.

"You've been such a good girl during all this, Dash," I croon, "here's a reward for your patience."

"I can't wAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

Oh. My. Gawd! This is what feels like to be balls deep in an anus? Man, does this feel good! I can hardly contain myself here. Dash, on the other hand, is confused and more than a little dismayed about what's going on. Something tells me she's never had anal sex before. I guess she can cross this off her bucket list, then. I think I'll just ease in here… No need to cause insult to injury, eh?

"Steve- ugh! What- Agh! are- Hngh! you- Ahhh! doing?!"

"Surprised, aren't you?" I tease, "This is for waking me up at most ungodly hour!"

You know, I can't tell if Rainbow is panicking or relishing the sensation of having her backdoor pounded. I gotta say that this is actually quite nice. I rather like this. Mind you, Dash is pretty tight back here. I can hardly move and even with all the extra lubrication I took from Rainbow's oozing slit, it's getting bone dry back here. Still, best feeling ever!

"Steve- Steve- Ugh! Don't- D-don't- stop!"

Oh-ho! She likey! Dash is a dirty little mare, ain't she? I think this deserves another good push. Let me just get in one good thrust here…

*SMACK!* I swat Rainbow's rump with a free hand.

"Ahhh!" Dash cries.

"Do you like that, Dashie?" I whisper hotly in her ear.

"Th-the D-D-Dash- likes!"

I swat her rump again, harder.

"Aghhhh!" Rainbow cries.

"Dirty girls get the switch, Dash."

I swat her again and the moan she produces is equal parts pain and bliss. I never took Dash for a sadomasochist. You think you know someone…

"Steve," Dash cries, "What- ever- you're- doing- don't- stop!"

Unfortunately, that's the exact moment my body says, "Yep, that's about all we can take now," and feel my orgasm hit. My sperm floods Rainbow's anus; the effect of all that fluid in such a tight, dry hole makes it easier for me to continue thrusting. I do so until Dash gets off one more time. As I pull out, I see a stream of white spilling from the fudge maker in her plot.

"Hey there!" Applejack calls out.

It's about ten in the morning, right around the time I wake up anyway.

"Hey AyJay. Sleep well?"

"Ah reckon I did," Applejack tells me, "though Ah not sure fer how long. Lone Star an' Ah were up most o' tha night."

"You don't say?"

"Eyup!" AyJay confirms, "Best sleep Ah ever got."

I ask, "Is Star staying in the guest room or-?"

"Ya know," AyJay tells me, "it ain't proper of ya to ask that."

"Consider it dropped."

AyJay nods, then looks off to the horizon, "Say, is that Rainbow Dash trottin' outta here?"

"Yeah," I affirm, "She dropped by early this morning."

"Ah thought ya were keepin' her at a distance?" the plantation owner asks.

"Yeah, I was," I inform her, "but her date with Soarin' didn't go so well. She needed a shoulder to cry on."

"Why is she- walkin' funneh?"

"Well," I explain, "she got a little upset last night, as you can imagine, and she busted a chair or two. I think she's got some splinters in her rump, but she won't tell me where."

It's a lie, but I'm certain AyJay doesn't pick up on it.

AyJay laughs and says, "That's Rainbow fer ya. Proud as a peacock and twice as stubborn."

I nod for confirmation.

"Oh, by tha way," AyJay continues, "got a letter fer ya this mornin'."

"A letter, huh?" I say, "Got it with ya?"

"Yeah," AyJay says, "right here."

Applejack hands me, well more like, gives me an envelope from between her teeth; it's addressed to me in purple ink and originates from Golden Oak Library.

"Hmm, could it be from Twahlahght?" AyJay asks me.

"Won't know until I open it." I answer; I proceed to tear the letter open.

"Ah, now this is cool!"

"What is it?" AyJay asks.

"It's Spike," I reply, "he and I were testing something yesterday and I told him we should hang out more. This letter is from him and he's telling me that he has some time later today to chill."

"Well that's nice of him," AyJat says, "Spike has plenty of friends, but most of 'em happen to be Twahlahght and the Elements. Ah bet he could use a little male companionship."

"I do owe him for helping me out yesterday." I say, "That, I wanna try that Hayburger place. Haven't been there yet."

The Hayburger is packed around four in the afternoon. Thank God I have today off. If I'm early, I guess I can order something before Spike-

"Steve!"

Ah, there's the drake now.

"Yo, Spike," I call, "what's up wit yo' bad self?"

"Not much," Spike replies, "Twilight usually has me working like a dog until early evening but with her out of town, I get to do whatever I want!"

"Does that mean you get a chance to sleep in?" I ask.

"You bet!" Spike replies.

"You hungry, man? I'm starved over here."

Spike answers, "Sure, I could go for something."

"What's good here?" I ask as we sidle up to the counter.

"The double hayburger is good, but you should watch it," Spike tells me,"that thing is GREASY."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I order up a hayburger with everything on it and a large soda. Spike does the same. When we get our orders we beeline to the next available booth. Those things are at a premium at this time of day.

"Hmm," I muse, "smells good!"

"Time to dig in!" Spike exclaims and we do so with gusto.

I never thought that a hamburger could made of hay and still taste good. Considering my earlier fiasco with hay bacon, I had my doubts. Still this is pretty good. Either my palate is getting used to this or the food really is that good. The fries are even better, if that's to be believed. That sinister voice in the back of my head tells me that nothing made from hay should be this exquisite. It tells me that is but a dream but I refuse to listen. Things are going too well be anything but real for me.

*BURP!*

"Ah," I moan, "that tasted good, both going down and coming up!"

"You said it!" Spike confirms, "thanks for meeting me here."

"It's my pleasure, Spike."

"Say, uh,-"

"Something on your mind, Spike?"

"Well, I- Nah, you'd just laugh at me." Spike dismisses.

"You know," I say, "if it's something that's bothering you, you would feel better talking about it instead of brooding over it."

Spike sighs, "Well, you see, I need some advice…"

"Advise on what?" I ask.

"Well, you see," he starts, "I have this- filly that I really like."

Is he talking about Sweetie Belle? She's cute and all, I guess. I notice he gets a dreamy look in his eye whenever Sweetie is in the room.

"Okay," I comment, "and you want to ask her out or something?"

Spike nods, "Yeah. But she's so much more sophisticated than I and well… She's a pony and I'm a dragon. Do you think anything like that could happen?"

"I think," I respond, "that if you really like her, you can bridge any differences you have. I mean, you and Sweetie Belle are so cute together."

"Sweetie Belle," Spike says, "I was talking about Rarity."

"Oh, wow," I say, "dude, that is aiming high! Well, even if she rejects you, you should give it a shot. You can spend an entire lifetime pining over the mare and never get anywhere with her or you could swing for the fences and try not to get struck out."

"Swing for the fences?" Spike asks.

"It's a baseball thing," I answer, "it's a game where I come from."

"Oh," Spike says, "but what if she-"

"Then at least you know where you stand." I reply, "I'm reminded of something The Prophet once said."

"The Prophet?" Spike asks.

"Yeah, he's a religious figure from back home." I answer, "Dude may be old, but his wisdom is sound and he never fails with excellent advice."

"So what did he say?" Spike inquires.

"I don't remember the exact words he used, but he said something along the lines of, 'If you want to land the girl of your dreams, first make yourself perfect.' That may not be an exact quote, but the gist of it was that if you're seeking Rarity's hoof in companionship, you should do everything you can to make yourself a shining example in her eyes. Only then well she overlook all the differences seen in you and accept you as you are."

"Wow, Steve," Spike exclaims, "you really think that will work?"

"Ain't nothin' doin' but the doin'." I answer.

"Thanks Steve," Spike says, "watch out Rarity! The next time you see me, I'm going to be the knight-in-shining-armor you wish for!"

Good luck, Little Dude. You're gonna need it.

Rainbow Dash gets more aggressive about Steve, but he finds his own measure of retribution against the stunt mare. And Team Dragon takes root. Spike needed some love here. Here's hoping that the advice Steve gives him works out… Sparity is referenced here. (And maybe a small bit of Swike†.)

†Sweetie BellexSpike shipping.