Well our good ol' protagonist has gotten himself into a sticky (Ha, I said sticky!) situation hasn't he XD.

All well, I guess you'd better read on and see what he does to rectify it.

I mean there's no possible way for him to fuck it all up any worse than it already is…right?

Hehe, onwards!

Begin!

I barely had enough time to blink before Celestia tackled me to the ground, Luna sailing straight past her and through a wall, leaving a surprisingly angry looking shape as she did so.

Unfortunately, I had little time to keep staring at the shape. Namely because Celestia had grasped my face with her hooves and was…licking it…fervently.

"Ach, Celestia!" I spluttered, desperately trying to push the overly affectionate mare off of me. "Get off of me, what are you doing?!"

The day princess stopped and merely stared down at me with a rather…scary look in her eyes, her muzzle twisting into a loving…and frightening grin.

"Did I ever tell you that alicorn's can get very primal with their lovers?" she asked, breathing shallowly.

"N-"

"Well they do," she continued, cutting across any form of answer I was about to give. "And right now, you stink of moondust…and sex….sex WITHOUT ME!"

Celestia, yet again, cut across my attempt to say anything. Though this time she merely stuffed her tongue down my throat, as opposed to licking my face like an excitable puppy.

"B-But it's okay," she reassured…mostly to herself I think. "I forgive you, because I love you, and couples forgive each other…right, RIGHT?!"

Her irises suddenly became around the size of a pinprick, both of them boring into my own with such…desperation that it was actually kind of shit scary.

"Riiiight," I drawled uncertainly…though I really wish I hadn't.

Celestia's ears splayed back as she sighed happily, a rather lovely smile adoring her muzzle as she shimmied her body all over mine, apparently still attempting to rid it of the…moondust?

Luna didn't have a speck of dust on her when we shagged, so what was…ahh forget it, I don't wanna know.

Speaking of Luna…

"Let us return to the palace beloved," Celestia crooned tenderly. "I wish to put all of this behind us…"

She gazed down at me and nuzzled my cheek affectionately, before leaning up…her tongue sticking out of her muzzle in a rather saucy manner as she bent her head down and-

WHAM!

was suddenly sent flying into a wall as a familiar anniversary present smacked into the side of her head.

"STRIIIKE!" proclaimed a very angry, very sweaty, and most certainly sexy Luna.

Said mare dropped the overly long rubber phallus and glared down at me crossly, her muzzle wrinkling in a surprisingly cute way as she did so.

"Beloved," she growled seriously, dropping down over me swiftly, her four hooves trapping me in a furry blue cage. "We believe that thou hast some explaining to do…or dost thou disagree?"

I shook my head rapidly as her hot breath touched my skin, her frown lightening somewhat as I did so.

"Thou uncaringly proclaimed that our loving union was false," she continued angrily, her snout pressing against my nose roughly. "Deny that this is true, and we shall be very willing to forgive thee."

Her unhappy expression suddenly morphed into a rather sultry smirk, especially when she began to grind her fantastic backside against my youknowwhat.

"Or announce that it is indeed true…and be punished severely."

"Punished in…what way?" I asked, my curiosity winning over my common sense.

"Rutting," Luna grinned maliciously. "Rutting and rutting…and rutting, days upon days of it, until thou is begging for reprieve."

...

Now that might not have sounded so bad if I hadn't have already fucked her.

Like I said before, it was pain and pleasure incarnate, bliss and pain brought to an unbelievable level…for a few hours. Days however…that might not be so nice.

"So as we said beloved," Luna purred lovingly, her eyes, one slitted, one not, boring into my own. "Dost thou wish to…repeat, what thou meant to say?"

"I…I-"

"Get your inferior backside off of MY lover!"

A flash of gold struck Luna off of me, though she managed to stay upright as she skidded along the floor.

"We have had enough of this sister!" Luna roared angrily. "He is ours now, let him go!"

"NEVER, HE IS MINE!" Celestia raged furiously. "HE IS COMING BACK WITH ME, WHERE WE CAN BE TOGETHER, AND I CAN SHOW HIM WHAT A REAL MARE FEELS LIKE!"

"Bah!" Luna scoffed mockingly. "A real mare? Sister please, do not begin to compare thine ancient and weathered flank to our most prestigious and voluptuous rump."

Celestia gasped and held a hoof to her muzzle for but a moment, looking back at her flank out of sheer instinct if nothing else.

And then she began to growl.

"My flank may be a few decades older than your own sister," she snarled. "But at least my depths remain snug, unlike your immensely wide cavern!"

Now it was Luna's turn to gasp…and somehow manage an impossible position so she could inspect her recently used funzone.

"Enough!" she snapped suddenly, her attention now entirely on Celestia…which provided me the means to escape undetected. "Words are naught without action, let us fight for the right to claim OUR beloved!"

"VERY WELL THEN SISTER, LET US-"

Unknown to either of them, I was already well out of the apparent…cave, of all things. Though to my dismay, I was still stark naked and in the middle of nowhere.

"Damn it, if only ponies wore clothing all the time, then I could simply borrow-"

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a sudden tap on my shoulder, something that instantly caused me to jump and turn around…only to see…

"Well don't you look nice and naked today," giggled a very happy looking Princess Cadance.

"Wha…where did she come from?!"

Now I know you're all wondering how I know Cadance here.

Well…it's rather simple actually.

We met just a little after Celestia and I started dating. Cadance at the time was rather…happy around me, not that it bothered me much. After all, from what I'd managed to gather the love princess was married.

In any case we talked quite a bit before she went back to the Crystal Empire, mostly about normal everyday things, you know what I mean. But apart from the very affectionate hugs and nuzzles, Cadance had never shown me anywhere near the amount of…um, love, that Celestia, and now Luna, do.

Something that in that moment, I was very certain hadn't changed.

Unfortunately…

A very peculiar shiver struck my body as I stared at her, lasting but a few moments and yet…leaving me with a rather empty feeling as it left. Whether Cadance noticed or not was beyond me, she simply kept on smiling and giggling every so often.

"HE IS MINE LUNA!"

"NEIGH, HE IS MINE CELESTIA!"

Cadance merely stared at the general direction of the shouting…and random earthquakes bewilderedly, before quickly snapping her questioning gaze onto me.

"What was…that?" she asked slowly.

"Hot air and a load of insecurity," I quipped dryly, confusing her even more.

Cadance quirked an eyebrow curiously, but shook her head and turned around, her eyes twinkling with mirth as she spoke.

"Come with me Lee," she chuckled amusedly. "Let's see if we can find you something to wear."

She winked at me and began to trot away, leaving a surprisingly large grin on my face as she did so.

Sighing, I continued to grin stupidly and followed the pink alicorn, trying my utmost to keep my eyes above her...surprisingly visible funzone.

"Well, at least this one's married!" I cheered silently, praying a fervent amount of thanks to whatever deity sent miss Cadenza my way.

We both continued running for a few more minutes, stopping only when we came across a very large oak tree, which we instantly hid behind as yet another bout of yelling reached us.

"Th...Thanks Princess," I huffed happily, peering around the tree for a moment before looking back and...and...

"Oh no..."

I'd seen that look; the same look Celestia gave me every night, the same look Luna gave me after we fucked like animals...the look of utter devotion...of lov-

"Princess-"

"Can you feel it?" she interrupted, her hoof gently brushing against my mouth. "That...force, stopping you from looking away, from rejecting...such passion, such a need?"

I...I could feel...something, I'd felt it the moment I looked at her, the moment she spoke...and gazed at me.

Oh why was this happening?

"P-Princess you're m-married," I protested weakly, the words taking a great effort to say...especially when her muzzle morphed into such a...a lovely smile.

"You're a bit behind honey," she correctly softly. "I've been divorced for nine months...nine long months, waiting for the male of my dreams to find me...just like he did in the dreams I had when I was but a foolish teenager."

What was she talking about?

I hadn't had any...had I?

It's so hard to remember a dream...but maybe that's why I felt so drawn to her, why I felt so...safe with her near me.

It made no sense though, I'd felt the same with Celestia...and even before we boinked, Luna's gaze was easily enough to make me feel...protected.

"Kiss me," she crooned lovingly, her warm breath coating my lips...just out of reach. "Or walk away and deny you feel...anything right now, right in this moment..."

I...I couldn't...I wouldn't...

I was already in way over my head with TWO god-like mares trying to find me, I DID NOT need to make another fuck up and add it to the pile.

No, no I was going to refuse her! There was no way in hell that I was going to fuck the situation up any more than it already was.

And so I...slowly, painfully...began to turn away...gradually...really, really gradually...

Smiling softly at my display of denial, the pink princess merely smiled and tilted her head sideways, her lips letting out tiny breathy moans as they brushed against my own...like a feathers touch.

...

Fuck it, I'm a lost cause!

I took her face softly in my hands and...and gently locked lips with her, said mare sighing contently as she wrapped her wings around me lovingly, her tongue gently slithering into my mouth and touching my own.

"Let me show you..." she breathed adoringly, her eyes glistening with pure joy as they gazed into my own. "What's it truly feels like to make love..."

She pushed me down gently, before climbing on top and pressing her randomly glowing lips against mine.

…

"Oh god..."

Author's Notes:

Well…Cadance came out of flipping nowhere didn't she XD

All well, the Gary Stu'ness continues!

Hell…it hasn't even begun muahaha!

Oh, and it's STILL NOT TWO THOUSAND WORDS, SO SUCK IT!

You know who you are :(