Alright, let's keep the ball rolling!

I'm fairly certain you all guessed the identity of Batmare, so without further ado…

Begin!

You know…I think I just might have some of the worst and best luck in all of reality. I mean I break things off with Celestia, she then begins to chase me, scream at me, cry for me, and then attempts to shove a unnaturally large dildo up my ass.

Only for me to then be saved by a bizarrely sexy pony in a Batman costume.

And now that my fucking crazy ex has been buried a few feet below me in the ground, my strangely attractive savior has just bent over and pretty much presented herself for me to use how I wish.

"Go ahead min gorgeous cherry popsicle, ram us!" she declared sultrily, wiggling that fine tush temptingly.

"You want me to fuck you right over that hole?" I asked skeptically.

Batmare put a hoof to her chin and pursed her alluring, plump and oh so enticing lips in thought.

"Hmm, thou may have a point," she concluded seriously. "We cannot have thee focusing on the wrong hole after all, TO THE BATCAVE!"

"What?"

There was a sudden flash of intense light…that was actually so intense that I fell unconscious because fuck you. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a rather comfy bed. In fact it was so comfy that it simply proved too much for my inferior human mind to handle, and thus I promptly fainted…again.

No I'm not kidding, it really was that comfy.

In any case, I found myself waking up once more and thankfully managed to get a hold of myself before the bed dragged me back into dreamland.

This would have been a pretty bad thing, seeing that I'm fairly sure that I was just fucking Celestia in a banana suit.

"Ahh, min glorious nine inch package has finally awakened," said a very alluring voice…right next to me.

I sat up quickly, only to swiftly realize that a certain mare had her hooves locked around my midsection.

"Umm…hello," I chirped unsurely, only just noticing that Batmare had removed everything minus the mask, although her cutie mark was still somewhat hidden by her bluish tail.

"I wish I knew who she was, but that oh too obvious black dye on her fur has rendered this impossible!"

"Salutations," she purred deeply. "We have been waiting for thee to open thine eyes."

I, yet again, had little to no warning before Batmare slipped her tongue into my mouth, before moving herself and pinning me back down with her entire body.

"We have been awaiting this day for many a month," she murmured seductively.

"Y-You have?" I asked curiously, trying my best not to pass out as she rubbed that mhmm ass against my youknowwhat.

"Indeed we have," she nodded, a sensual grin adoring her muzzle. "We have watched thee for so long, pining as we did for thy companionship. We heard thy cries of pleasure as our sis- nemesis rutted thee into oblivion. But now, min fine specimen, we shall instead have the pleasure of, how do they say, blowing thy mind?!"

Batmare shimmied off my shingle, before giving me a saucy wink and lowering her head down.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!," I shouted, grabbing her muzzle just short of its target. "I don't get into bed with random mares, I'm not that type of guy."

Batmare blinked at my refusal, yet to my dismay only grinned wider and raised her head back up, her hooves moving to her mask.

"Ahh but you see, min confused stud," she began cheekily. "We are not some random mare, for you know us quite well."

"I do?"

Before I could get a word in, Batmare peeled the mask off and lit up her horn, blinding me momentarily.

"Behold Lee Timings!" she shouted. "For it is I, Princess Luna, RULER OF THE NIGHT!"

"HOLY SHIT I AM SO SURPRISED!"

The light faded quickly, Batmare disappearing with it. I her place was a very familiar and undeniably sexy mare, and when I say sexy, I mean drop dead gorgeous.

What with that mesmerizing mane that, unlike Celestia, didn't almost blind me with its color. As well as those beautiful turquoise orbs, not to mention that glorious flank.

Though in all honesty I did prefer her with a black coat of fur.

But seriously, dat ass!

It may not have been a big as Celestia's, but by God did it jiggle just right.

"In all our conversations we have noticed thine eyes transfixed upon our hindquarters," she said playfully, that smirk itself being a big tease. "Not that we blame thee, for we purposefully consumed just the right amount of sustenance to keep it just right for thee."

What?

She kept it wibbly wobbly just for me?

"I may just shed a tear."

"So how long have you liked me?" I asked inquisitively, only to lean back instinctively as her eyes glowed angrily.

"Did it just get colder in here?"

"Liked thee?" she repeated, a kind of incredulous edge in her tone. "We do not merely like thee."

She suddenly moved very, very close to my face. As in her minty breath was all I was able to breathe in.

"We would say love, but it is not enough for us," she continued, her once sultrily voice having become quite…possessive. "We live for thee, we want to own thee, we want thee to own us."

I, for quite possibly the billionth time, had little to no warning before she, yet again, slithered her extremely dexterous tongue into my mouth. And of course it'd be rude for me not to play along, and besides, I am single.

Luna pulled away from the kiss and grinned, even whilst she panted like a bitch in heat. She then jumped backwards off of me and spun around, before bending down and lifting her voluptuous flank in the air, waving it at me tantalizingly.

"We were going to begin with the foreplay," she explained flirtatiously. "But the anticipation is killing us. So if thou dost not mind…"

She flipped her luscious tail away from her slightly damp behind and licked her lips enticingly.

"Kindly stick thy beloved length in our marehood and rut us into a stupor."

…

How the fuck does one respond to a request like that?

I mean I could agree and do it, or refuse and find my way out of…actually where the fuck was I?

Ahem, nevermind. In any case, I was in all honesty contemplating the risks of screwing my Ex's little sister.

For one, if Celestia ever found out then I imagine Luna would be spending a long vacation on the moon.

Yet, dat ass!

For two, I've only been single for the better part of twelve hours…I think, where's a bloody clock when you need one? But yeah, I've only just broken up, so it would be morally wrong for me to just jump into bed with someone else so soon after.

Yet, dat ass!

And finally, for three, I'm not the type of guy who just shags someone because they ask for it. I mean where's the dinner, the flowers and second date?

A man of goodwill I may not be, yet I'm not a complete doucheba-

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Luna moaning as she slapped her flank…which then began to jiggle…a lot.

"Fuck it, I'm going in!"

Unbeknownst to me, you know, whilst I began to pile drive into Luna's funzone. A certain alabaster alicorn's eyes had just snapped open, said alicorn taking in a deep breath as she sniffed the air, sensing a great disturbance in the 'Lee force'.

"My babykins is making love…AND IT ISN'T TO ME!"

All of Equestria would look back at this day many, many years in the future, and label it as the great quake of Canterlot.

Author's Notes:

And that's chapter four done!

Hope you liked it, get ready for more soon!