“Evan, you’re really handsome. Do any other girls ever tell you that?” Drew asked. I blushed heavily and looked to the distance in pure shyness.

“Uhm… no… you… uhm… you ha-ave really pretty eyes…” I stammered timidly. One of my oldest friends in the whole world, Noah, coughed as he choked on a drag of his joint.

“Drew…” He coughed again then laughed. “You’re one of the only…” He wheezed loudly and a fume of marijuana smoke left both his nostrils along with his mouth. “You’re one of the only people who can make Burd stammer like that…” He trailed off and laughed before taking another long drag on the joint, before passing it along to another person, whom I didn’t know.

Drew laughed then brushed aside a fluff of her two tone hair that had managed to impair her vision. She had mostly blonde hair with streaks of black, plus she was drop dead gorgeous, at least that's what people said… and it goes to figure that she always teases me and makes me blush like a fool.

The man puffing on the joint offered it to me and I waved my hand, making Noah laugh. “You won’t get him to smoke. He’s a straight edge,” Noah laughed.

“Square,” the guy muttered and I gave him a cold glare. “Uhm… nothing by it dude… just saying, you know man? Chillax dude,” he stated defensively. Drew piped up before anyone else could talk.

“You can’t REALLY be a straight edge,” she spoke casually and I nodded.

“Like a razor,” I replied subtly, not having a care in the world about the subject.

“No way. You at least have sex… right?” she asked and, again, Noah laughed while he coughed on the rather potent marijuana.

“Yeah…” he snickered as he tried to clear his lungs. “Burdy, have sex… that’s a good one… he’s borderline gay,” he laughed and I shot him a cold glare and he shrugged. “Well you are dude… you’ve never had sex, hell, you’ve never even kissed a girl. And you’re mom doesn’t count,” he countered me before I could even make a comeback.

“Well…” I trailed off as I tried to think up something clever. I bit my lip and frowned. Damn me to hell, figures he gets me.

Drew saved me from the tight situation I was in. “Well that’s okay. We’ll get married and live up in the mountains together. Right Evan?” she asked, again making me blush as she had a serious tone.

“Uhm… I uhh… uh heh-heh…” I stammered. The other pot smoking people hanging around in the group chuckled as Drew made a bumbling buffoon out of me.

Sunday, March 17th, 2014…

I awoke from the memory dream and rubbed my head. I was still in the hospital because… well, the doctors didn’t actually tell me why I had to stay here, but I was supposed to get out today. ‘God… it feels like I’m in prison,’ I thought to myself.

“How are you feeling this morning?” A voice asked from my left side.

“Good,” I replied, just as my stomach grumbled. I reached over to the nightstand beside my bed and retrieved my engagement ring, slipping it on and having a look at it.

“You don’t really take that off much, do you?” The figure beside me asked and I shook my head.

“Nope. I think it says in the bible somewhere that you’re supposed to keep your wedding ring on,” I told her as I straightened the ring.

“You’re… you’re married?” she asked and I shook my head before turning to the nurse. She was really pretty and kind, though a little timid at times when she spoke to me, probably due to my mysterious and different body.

“Nope,” I replied as I wiggled my ring into view, letting light produced from the overhead bulbs gleam against the black synthetic diamond.

“Then… if you aren’t married or engaged, why do you call it an engagement ring?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Because it’s an engagement ring. That and it’s on my ring finger,” I informed her. She rubbed her chin as she tried to comprehend my mentality.

“You’re very strange. Do all of your species act this way?” she asked and I shook my head.

“Far as I know, I’m one of a kind,” I told her with a wink.

“Well, I just came to inform you that you’re free to leave now.” She stepped back as to allow me to get out of bed. I went to sit up but realized that something was wrong.

A faint blush raced across my face and I laid back down. “Uhm… can I j-just get my bearings into place?” I asked and she nodded then walked out of the room.

‘Great… morning wood,’ I thought to myself as I lifted the bed sheets. Luckily I was lying sideways so it wasn’t protruding… but I didn’t have any clothes, minus the medical robe and underwear.

“Go away you little prick…” I whispered to myself. Generally it should go away in less than two or three minutes. I sat there, waiting and thinking about random and non-generic topics, ranging from plants to machine-guns.

I still felt my member stiff as a diamond. I looked back to him. “Hey you… yeah… go the fuck away already,” I hissed but to no avail.

I waited for what felt like hours, but in the end it was only ten minutes. I tapped my index finger on the nightstand in an irritated and inpatient way. Still it wouldn’t go away.

“This is taking forever,” I muttered as I stood up and got out of bed. Without even looking, I knew that this would be terribly awkward. Sticking to his full attention, my little buddy… big buddy now, made a rather lewd tent out of my boxers.

I tried to shuffle him around, but it was either a tent or I’d have him protruding out of my boxers through the leg holes. “You, my little friend, are a nuisance and need to go away,” I told him in a calm tone.

“Mr. Burdick, are you ready to leave now?” I heard a voice ask from outside the door.

“Uhm… where’s my clothes?” I asked, hoping that she wouldn’t have to bring them in.

“Twilight Sparkle took them to have them repaired for you. She said they’d be at Carousel Boutique,” she informed me. ‘Great… that’s in town,’ I thought to myself.

“Uhm… okay yeah… uhh… you mind if I keep this robe?” I asked. There was a moment’s pause, then came my reply.

“I suppose…” she trailed off. “It doesn’t really fit any of our patients, it is XXL,” she informed me. ‘Great… that makes me feel fat,’ I thought then grabbed my stomach.

“No fat, but no abs… you’ll get there one day Burdy,” I muttered to myself.

“What was that?” Redheart asked.

“Nothing… nothing… uhm, I’m coming out,” I said before opening the door and adding a bit of a hunch to my back to try to conceal my throbbing erection.

She had a little checklist in her hoof and began asking me questions like, ‘Do you feel nauseous?’ or ‘Do you feel light headed?’ and a bunch of other random things.

The final question, however, took me completely off guard. “Do you have…” She trailed off and gulped before blushing. I waited for the question but instead she gave me the checklist. I scrolled down to the question and read it outloud.

“Do you feel like you have Priapism?” I raised an eyebrow and looked at the question. “What the fuck is Priapism?” I asked and Redheart blushed.

“It’s an… an ongoing erection that won’t leave,” she informed me and I gulped.

“I uhm…” I scratched my head, letting go of the overhang on the robe, and in turn revealing my erection. Redheart looked away with a slight blush that showed through her white fur.

“Sign here,” she told me as she indicated a spot on the checklist.

“What’s this?” I asked while I concealed myself once more.

“It’s waiver saying that you won’t sue us if it becomes chronic,” she told me.

“IF WHAT BECOMES CHRONIC?!” I gasped.

“Your erection,” she told me and I gulped. “The tetanus potion we gave you has… adverse side effects,” she informed me.

“Aren’t you supposed to get me to sign the waiver before you give me the stuff?” I asked and she scratched her cheek.

“You uhh… don’t remember?” she asked. A doctor stallion with dark grey fur passed by me. His left foreleg was wrapped in a cast and in a sling. He shot me a cold and nasty glare.

“Oh yeah…” I trailed off as I remembered the events of last night…

Saturday, March 16th, 2014,

8:34pm…

“Okay Mr. Burdick, just hold still while I give you this needle…” he ordered as he readied a needle.

“You are not stickin’ no needle in me,” I told the grey stallion in doctor fatigues.

“I apologize Mr. Burdick, but it is correct procedure,” he told me.

“Fuck procedure. I’m not getting no fucking needle,” I said as I crawled back along the bed, my back now up against the wall.

“Now Mr. Burdick, this will only hurt a moment, but it’ll help you more than it will hurt,” he tried to assure me.

“No,” I told him. He stepped forwards as to give me the needle, but I swatted it away. He sighed and called for two other doctors to come help him. I began to fidget and squirm as they tried to hold me down.

“Let go of me… hey stop that! You’re not giving me a needle!” I fought against them as they continued to try and probe me with their needle. I just know that they didn’t really have to give me that! They were probably just experimenting on me. Those…

“NAZIS! YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING NAZIS!” I yelled as I continued to squirm. The doctor got his needle closer but, at the last possible moment, I flipped the medical bed over and the railing crushed his left foreleg.

“GAHHH!” The doctor screamed in pain as his bone probably broke. I stood up and grabbed the nightstand lamp then swung defensively at the other two doctors.

“You’re not putting me down like a rabid dog.” I scowled and the doctors tried to corner me.

“Stay back! I warn you, I’ll crack you over the head with this thing!” I warned them, but still they approached.

“STOP!” A voice ordered and the two doctors ceased approaching me. A white furred pony with light pink hair and blue eyes approached. “You have to be more subtle with him, he’s probably frightened,” she spoke softly and her words seemed to put me at ease.

“Subtle? SUBTLE?!” The grey doctor with the broken leg yelled. “HE BROKE MY BUCKIN’ ARM?!” He roared into the nurse’s face, but rather than lash back, she simply stepped forwards towards me.

“Do you have a phobia of needles?” she asked me in a gentle tone and I shook my head.

“Nah, I just don’t like them,” I told her and she nodded, understanding that I was too stubborn to admit that I feared needles.

“It’s okay. We can offer you a potion. Here, drink this. It’ll have the same effects as the tetanus but...” she began to tell me but I cut her off asI took the potion bottle from her hooves and wailed back the entire bottle.

It tasted like strawberries and left a tingly feeling in my throat. The nurse smiled. “I’m Nurse Redheart by the way,” she informed me before turning to leave. However, just before she left the doorway, she turned back and spoke to the broken armed doctor.

“Maybe next time you shouldn’t treat your patient like a wild animal,” she told him with a snicker before wisping away. The doctor gave her an irritated scowl before also leaving.

I scratched my head and chuckled as everything came back to me. “Oh yeah,” I muttered and Redheart was blushing again. I realized that when I had taken my hand away to scratch my head, my erection had come into view again.

I quickly scribbled down my signature on the form, which looked more like chicken scratch. I nodded to her. “Thanks… uhm… I gotta go,” I told her before rushing out of the hospital, avoiding eye contact with anypony. I needed my clothes, and I needed them fast.

As I raced down the streets, I realized I had no idea where the Carousel Boutique was. I just knew that it was that place where that mare lived. The one that Spike had a crush on or something.

“HELP!” A voice screamed from above. I looked up to realize it was Derpy, once again coming crashing to the ground. I didn’t really have time for this. Well actually I did, I just didn’t want the absolute awkwardness of it.

I held my arms out and within moments the grey pegasus mare crashed into me, cratering us both into the ground with a fume of dust surrounding both our bodies. I felt mail slips cluttering down onto my face as I lay on the ground. The shivering mare on top of my less than decent body was still shaking fearfully.

As the dust cleared, Derpy took her hooves away from her eyes. “EVAN! You saved me… again!” she cheered happily as she stood up. I immediately shot my hands over my robe and covered my groin area, pressing down hard on my erection to conceal it.

“Uh... hey Derpy, what’s up?” I asked, and for some reason my conscience spoke up in a sexual tone. ‘You’re cock.’ I grimaced at the thought of it.

“Uhm… nothing really. Listen, sorry to cut it short, but I gotta continue my mail run,” Derpy said then flew off without another word. I let out a relieved sigh. ‘Smooth one Casanova. Save her ass and you don’t even tap it,’ my dirty conscience thought.

‘Shut your fucking trap, what’s gotten into you?!’ I hissed back silently.

‘A cock,’ it replied back. I scowled silently to myself as I stood up and frantically began running around town again. This was hopeless, I didn’t even have a single idea about where to look for this…

I skidded to a stop in front of a very swanky building and recalled Spike always going on about how Rarity’s place is the most beautiful place in town. It looked very… Victorian aged… and expensive.

I rushed up to the house, or shop, or whatever it was, and knocked with a series of erratic and quick knocks. “Coming darling!” said an illustrious voice. ‘Darling? Who the fuck answers a door with ‘Coming darling’?’ I thought to myself.

‘A mare who wants it badly,’ the voice in my head spoke up. I frowned. ‘One more fucking word out of you and I’ll slit your fucking…’ I was cut off as the door swung open, revealing a beautiful, gleaming white mare with a ridiculous hairdo.

“Well hello darling… why you must be Twilight’s new student. Please do come in, I have your clothes ready for you,” she said in a very inviting voice. I smiled graciously and accepted her invitation, stepping in but with a slight hunch to my back to conceal my stiff member.

“Thank you Miss. You really don’t know how much this means to me,” I thanked her and she waved her hoof carelessly.

“Oh think nothing of it…” She sniffed the air… then again. Each time she sniffed the air she got closer and closer to me. ‘Oh please god, don’t let my cock be sending out a fragrance,’ I thought, but the voice in my head spoke up again.

‘Oh please do. She’d probably just bend over for you and let you slam her cunt,’ It thought up. She sniffed the air almost two feet away from my body then held her hoof over her nose. ‘Oh thank god!’ I thought happily.

“Oh… darling… you smell awful,” she said in a mildly displeased voice. I scratched my head and chuckled, making sure to keep my other hand concealing myself.

“Uhh yeah… they don’t have showers in the hospital,” I told her and she raised a curious eyebrow.

“Oh yes… that’s right. Twilight mentioned something about you being in the hospital. What exactly happened?” she asked curiously.

“Oh nothing really. I just fought off some Timberwolves that were trying to eat… uhm… this mare… her name was… Rainbow Dash I think,” I told her and she gasped.

“You fought off Timberwolves to save Dash?! Oh my sweet Celestia! Was it scary?” she asked. I shrugged and looked to the ceiling, trying to think of an answer. “Well… you must have been terrified for your own life, right?” she asked and I gave a half-assed nod.

“Meh… kind of. I guess at one point I was wondering if they were going to eat me or just kill me,” I told her and she gasped.

“Darling, that’s the most heroic thing I’ve heard all week!” she exclaimed and I rolled my eyes. “Oh right… about your clothes…” She trailed off, still holding her hoof over her nose. “You should really have a shower first. Upstairs, first door on the right,” she informed me.

I gave her a nod and followed her instructions. “Goddamn… this place is swanky,” I muttered to myself.

I opened the bathroom door to reveal an illustrious bathroom. “Man… this mare has a nice place,” I muttered as I closed the door behind me. I walked over to the walk-in shower and began fiddling with the diamond looking taps.

I waited until the shower stream was a nice temperature before I slipped off my robe and underwear. Taking a quick scan of the room, I quickly began fiddling through cupboards and such in search of decent towels but only found expensive fluffy purple ones.

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” I told myself and thankfully the dirty voice in my head didn’t speak up. I was really going to have to speak to Redheart about this. ‘Hey Redheart, thanks for the potion. Not only did it give me a raging hard on, but it gave me a dirty little voice in my head that’ll never shut up,’ I thought to myself, enacting what I’d say to the nurse.

I set the towel on the rack near the shower entrance then stepped in. The steamy hot water felt amazing against my body as I washed myself down. The flooring seemed to be made out of some sort of gem and…

I trailed off as I spotted a pink dildo that resembled that of a horse cock, hanging from the shower tap. I sheepishly looked away, not wanting to think about the mare’s now obvious shower toy.

However, despite my obvious courtesy, the side effects of the tetanus potion quickly kicked into play. I imagined her masturbating with the pink toy and pleasuring herself right in front of me.

Her hair dripping wet and flung down. Her moans echoing in the bathroom as she reached an orgasm. Her cunt twitching as she came…

I covered my eyes in self disgrace. To even think that of the kind unicorn... “Fuck you… fuck you, fuck you!” I hissed silently to myself, but the images were burned into my head, at least for the time being.

My body seemed to move naturally as I reached out and picked up the dildo then compared it to my own throbbing cock. It was noticeably different, having a flared head and a hilt. I compared the size and took notice that it was only about three or four inches longer.

‘Either that means that ponies in this world have smaller dicks than the ones back home or… she bought a small dildo for that tight snatch of hers!’ The dirty little voice in my head spoke up.

“FUCK YOU!” I roared, completely forgetting that I was in somepony else’s house.

“Are you okay in there darling?” A voice asked from what sounded like just outside the door.

“Fine… I’m just fine. I just uhm…” I trailed off as I quickly set the dildo back on the tap where it belonged.

“Okay. I just thought that perhaps you slipped and hurt yourself was all,” she replied. ‘Was she really waiting at the door?’ I thought to myself.

‘No, she’s peeping on you while she masturbates. There’s probably a puddle of her cum…’ I cut off the voice in my head as I slammed a heavy punch across my own cheek, stinging my vision with stars and sending my world spinning.

‘WOW! I really don’t know my own strength,’ I thought to myself as I stabilized my body. Thankfully though, the voice was gone for the moment, but unfortunately my raging boner was still apparent.

I quickly washed off my body then soaped myself up with… ‘Classy Mares’ shampoo. Great, I was washing myself with mare body wash. I probably smell like strawberries now.

I washed away all the soap and took a whiff of my shoulder, only to find that I actually smelt like raspberries. ‘Great… raspberries. I love raspberries,’ I thought sarcastically before turning off the shower head and grabbing the towel off the rack outside the shower.

I dried off my body, but it took a little longer than usual for me to clean my hair, due to its length. “I really need a haircut,” I muttered then looked to the fogged mirror. Using the towel, I wiped away the fog and looked at myself.

My hair was draped down past my eyebrows and threatening to impair my vision while my sideburns and mustache grew freely. “And a shave,” I added in.

I finished drying myself off then wrapped the towel around my hip, placing my left hand over my groin and pressing down hard, trying to non-conspicuously conceal a raging boner.

I stepped out into the hallway, my body dry for the most part, minus my hair which was still damp. “Rarity? Hey, where’d you go?” I called out, wondering where the beautiful mare had gotten off to.

‘Beautiful… ha, not even a month ago would I even call a pony beautiful,’ I thought to myself. Sure they’re cute, in the animal pet sense, but being here so long, I was starting to consider them to be more like the same species than a completely different one.

“Rarity?” I called again.

“Down here darling. I’m just preparing your… clothes.” There was a pause in her sentence that sounded as if she was… disappointed about something. I stepped into a room that was filled with sewing machinery and the likes.

“Darling,” she spoke without actually looking to me, but rather she was looking at my clothes that were grasped in a light blue aura. “Do you always wear green?” she asked and I raised an eyebrow.

“No… I actually barely wear green. I wear camouflage,” I replied.

“It’s the same thing,” she replied back.

“No it’s not,” I stated as I stepped next to her. She turned to look to me and gasped. I gulped, fearing that perhaps she had spotted my odd ‘predicament,’

“Listen, before you…” I began but she spoke before I could finish.

“Twilight was right,” she gasped and I was confused by the statement. ‘Did Twilight somehow know that I had a ridiculous boner and had told ponies? No, she wouldn’t do that… would she?’ I thought to myself.

“She uhh… she was right about what?” I asked, half petrified of her possible reaction.

“Your body is… big… very big,” she replied and I let out a silent and relieved exhale. “Twilight under exaggerated it… you look more like you were chiseled from stone,” she said in a breath-taken voice.

“Wait… what?!” I stammered and she gulped then blushed.

“Nothing darling! Nothing, it uhm… it slipped,” she quickly sputtered out the words then levitated over the clothing, tossing it into my arms. I brought both arms up and grabbed them, forgetting about my… thing.

Looking over my clothes, I realized that she had sewn them so well, it was as if they were brand new. Looking down to the mare with a smile, I spoke genuine words of thankfulness. “Hey thanks… wow, this is super! You’re… looking at me strangely,” I stated and realized that she was blushing and sneaking a peek at my…

“GAH! I’m so sorry Rarity! It’s not what you…” I began, but my sudden outburst of an apology shocked her as well. Obviously she had been lost in her thoughts.

“Eep! Darling I…” she trailed off and used her magic to grasp the towel and try to wrap up my member. She accidentally lost focus and in the end the towel ended up slipping from her grasp and falling to the floor, leaving me bare.

I placed the folded laundry over my groin as my face turned beat red. “Rarity, I swear to god, I… it was…” I stammered as I tried to explain, while at the same time she was trying to sputter out her explanation.

“Darling, it slipped. I didn’t mean to… well, I meant to pull the towel up but then…” We both kept sputtering out random things and never noticed the young white filly watching us.

“OH HEY EVAN!” she squealed in delight. Both our faces went an even darker shade of red as we slowly looked over to the filly who had an undaunting smile. “Rarity, this is the pony…” she stopped for a moment’s pause as she realized I wasn’t a pony. “This is the guy who gave me a ride to school the other day. Remember? I told you that he was super big and strong! I told you so!” she squealed in delight, then gasped and ran up to my side, taking a close look at my ass cheek.

“You’re…” she trailed off with a deep inhale, getting ready for a gasp. “A blank flank!” she squealed in delight. I was about to try and explain to her that humans didn’t get cutie marks, then decided it would be much too long and tedious to try.

“Uhm… Sweetie Belle, darling. We should leave this room for a moment to allow… what’s your name again darling?” Rarity asked sheepishly.

“Evan,” I muttered in terrible embarrassment. “It’s Evan, but you can call me Burdy if you like,” I replied then realized that was a terrible way to introduce myself, considering all that was happening. The duo left and Rarity closed the door behind her. I let out a deep exhale and sighed.

“This day is going to be a long one,” I muttered. ‘Not as long as your cock.’ The dirty voice returned. I slammed another punch across my face, albeit not as hard as before. The voice quickly left and I finished slipping on my clothes.

Walking out of the door, I was greeted by the much younger filly, Sweetie Belle, but not Rarity. “Where’s...” I began, but Sweetie Belle cut me off.

“My sister?! She’s in the washroom taking a shower!” she squealed in delight, nearly vibrating in some kind of excitment. I let out a sigh, knowing pretty well what she’d be doing. “Do you want to go cutie mark crusading?” she asked hopefully.

With the way I was, it wouldn’t be the worst idea, seeing as how she was too young to understand about that. In the same thought however, it wouldn’t be the best idea either. “I can’t,” I said in an apologetic tone. Her face went pouty. “I’m sorry, but I have to go to the hospital.” I told her.

“Why? Are you sick?” she asked in a worried tone.

“Yeah, kind of. I’m not well and I need the help of a doctor,” I informed her, which wasn’t a complete lie. “I have to say goodbye to your sister first, then maybe we’ll go crusading later, okay?” I assured her. Her face gleamed in a bright smile and she zipped off in a fume of dust.

I paced over to the washroom door and knocked. “Gah! What is it?” Rarity’s voice sounded shocked and frantic.

“Listen uhm… Rarity. About the uhm... the thing… long story short, the hospital gave me a potion and that’s why… I was… you know… hard.” I stammered a bit during my explanation, due to the awkwardness of it.

“I… I… well… I hope you enjoy the clothes. Have a splendid day, darling.” Luckily she was good at accepting terms then quickly dropping the subject.

“Thanks Rarity.” I nodded to myself and smirked. “Really, it means a lot.” I called out to her then nodded once more before starting my journey back to the hospital.

“What do you mean at least six more hours?! That’d be four in the afternoon!” I whispered to Redheart. She gave an embarrassed shrug as her reply.

“So what am I supposed to do about that little voice in my head? Will it ever go away?” I asked and she nodded.

“It’s not actually a little voice. It’s your own thoughts but more… primal and animalistic. Be lucky that you at least have some control over your urges… and clothes,” she told me. I realized that, despite my cargo pants being baggy, there was still a tent pitched at my groin area.

I quickly shuffled my cock around into a less conspicuous spot. “What do I do till it stops?” I asked and she rubbed her chin.

“Well… you could always just have sex. It won’t get rid of your erection, but it will stop the urges for a while.” she informed me.

“Sex?! Sex with what? What am I supposed to do? Go up to some random mare in the streets and be like, ‘Yo sexy, let’s get down and fuck right now cause I’m hornier than a ten puckered Billy-goat’?” I whispered.

She sighed. “Well, you could always just masturbate. That would have a similar effect, though your urges will come back significantly sooner,” she informed me.

“So what? I just go beat off in the washroom?” I asked and she shook her head.

“Please don’t, we just had them cleaned,” she told me. I let out a distressed sigh and she rested a hoof on my side.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be over before you know it,” she assured me. “That and you could always try to take your mind off it,” she offered a possible suggestion.

“Thanks Red… I’ll see you later.” I gave my goodbye with a nod and proceeded towards Sweet Apple Acres. ‘Hard work should do the trick, and if it doesn’t, slave labour will.’

“Listen AJ, I need rough work. Something that needs two or three ponies to do. And I’ll do it by myself... alone,” I told her. She raised a curious eyebrow from the odd request.

“Well yah certainly are… willin’ today. Ain’t yah?” she asked.

‘Willing to bend you over and fuck you silly,’ the voice in my head muttered. I slammed a heavy punch across my jaw, sending my equilibrium way off balance.

“WHAT YAH DO THAT FER?!” she gasped and I straightened my posture.

“Nothing. Trust me, you don’t want to know,” I told her. She raised an eyebrow with a hint of worried suspicion and scratched the back of her head.

“Alright… well…uhh..." She trailed off and looked around for something that could keep me occupied. "We got some heavy bales a straw that need tah be stacked. Reckon ah was gonna have Mac and muhself do it, but if yer willing tah do it alone… it would spare up some hooves,” she told me.

“Straw bales, got it!” I stated quickly, then rushed off to the barn. I looked to the bales, they must’ve been 60 inches wide. “Goody! Okay you little shit, let’s get busy.”

‘Yeah, get busy alright.’ The voice spoke up. I brought my face into an angered frown. ‘Oh just you wait you little horn dog, just you wait.’

In a furious anger, I began flipping the bales, placing them in perfect rows. I took a deep breath and wondered to myself how on earth I’d stack them. I looked over to a large bail hook that was attached to a rope and pulley. I looked up and realized it was some sort of bale lifting thingy. At least that’s what I was hoping.

I jabbed the hook into the first bale then started pulling on the rope that was looped through the pulley located at the roof of the barn.

“Ngh!” I grunted painfully as I hefted the bale up. I pushed the bale over the top of the others then set it down. “This’ll work,” I said with an exhausted breath.

Luckily they couldn’t have weighed more than 400 pounds, but they were still awkward to lift, even with the pulley. “Come on… Come on…”

‘Yeah, cum on me… no wait, cum in me.’ The dirty little voice spoke up.

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH… I’M NOT CUMMING ON ANYTHING…” I roared. I brutally worked myself to my absolute limits and before I knew it the last bale was stacked in place. I had successfully stacked rows ten by ten and two high.

I collapsed to the ground, breathless and exhausted. “Can ah ask yah somethin… personal?” Applejack asked in a more worried tone than before. I hadn’t even realized that she was near me.

“At this point… I can’t stop you,” I replied. ‘You couldn’t even stop her if she sat down and rode your cock,’ the voice chimed. I raised my hand and feathered myself across the jaw with an exhausted punch.

“Are yah… well yah know… not right in the head?” Applejack asked.

“I… live in a world of… colourful ponies… how could I stay sane?” I gasped through exhausted breaths.

“Ah meant… well, ah shoulda asked first, but… I heard ya yelling about an hour ago and came tah check what was wrong. Ah know it’s wrong tah spy on ponies, but yah were talking dirty tah yerself and yah were angry about it as well...” she trailed off with a look of worry on her face.

“Can I… tell you something…” I was still panting heavily. She stepped closer and I took a deep breath as I calmed myself. “The hospital gave me... some sort of potion... that gave me a raging boner... and a perverted conscience. Apparently it won’t go away... until four,” I told her.

She let out a relieved sigh. “Well that’s good. Ah wasn’t sure how ah’d take it if muh employee got off on abusing himself at work,” she told me. We shared a brief laugh before she spoke again. “Well, reckonin that it ends at four, means ya still got another hour or so before yah return to normal.” She gave me a nod then tossed me a bag of bits. “That's a hundred 'n' twenty bits. Seein as how yah did two ponies’ worth a work for the last five hours a figured ah’d give yah a bonus.” She nodded before turning and walking away.

My gaze fell to the floor as my body started to shut down from all the exhaustion. I was ready to just roll over and pass out, but a burst of energy whizzed through my body as I suddenly got super horny.

“Oh for fuck sakes,” I hissed. It didn’t matter if jerking off didn’t solve this problem, my urges were raging out of control right now and I needed to get relief. I got up and quickly began making my way towards Twilight’s. I’d just hop in the back of my truck, take a look at that porn magazine Cheerilee gave me, all the while I’d beat off, then voila. By that time the potion side effects should be worn off.

I passed Applejack who chuckled as I ran past her. “Ah didn’t think yah’d be able tah even walk after all that work,” she stated.

“I gotta go rub one off,” I uttered out the blunt truth. Her face went pale.

“Uhm… well… uhh… thanks fer sharing,” she replied as I continued off into the distance. Ponyville wasn’t all that far away and at this point I was in a full tilted run.

‘Jeeze, I’ve never been so bent on getting home just to jerk off,’ I thought to myself.

‘You never know, maybe Twilight will just suck you off,’ my conscience thought.

“Okay fuck off! That’s wrong on so many levels that I’m not even going to start.” I scowled at myself. Suddenly I collided with a light cherry red earth pony. Not paying attention while arguing with myself and running all at the same time was probably a bad combination, especially when I was horny.

“Oh shit… Cherry, I’m so sorry,” I apologized. I stood up and offered her my hand.

“Oh… Burdy, it’s so nice to see you again,” she said in an upbeat tone. I nodded before going to race off again. “Wait!” She held a hoof at my side and I turned back to her.

“Yeah?” I asked in a rushed tone.

“I need to ask you something…” she trailed off as she blushed. “That night… where you came to see me after hours and you asked if I was in heat…” she trailed off and I gulped.

“Listen, I didn’t mean anything by it. I didn’t mean that I thought you were loose or that you’re slutty. I just thought that because you showed me the picture of the mare in heat that you were in heat and that you were actually trying to tell me something,” I sputtered out the entire sentence rather quickly and it took her a moment to register everything.

“Well actually, it was about that. I had you lock the door because… what I’m trying to say is that I was… I still am…” She blushed and timidly looked away then leaned forwards so that nopony else could hear her. “I’m in heat,” she whispered.

My cock throbbed from her information. Whether it be because of the fact she was in heat or the way she whispered it into my ear I’d never know, but I needed to get gone and quick.

“Listen…” I grunted as I tried to shuffle my cock to a less provoking way. “Cheerilee… I got a little problem… a big one actually and I…” I grunted again and this time I had to completely press down on my groin to keep it from poking out.

“Well, I just wanted to ask if you weren’t coming around anymore because you thought that I was slutty,” she replied.

“What?!” I gasped and she stammered out a response.

“Well, I had reacted in a way that one would have thought I wasn’t in heat. But then you just stopped coming to school and I never heard from you so I thought that maybe… you didn’t want to hang out with those fillies at school anymore because… you thought I was a loose and didn't want to associate with me,” she informed me.

“What?! No way! Cherry… gah… Cherry listen… ngh… long story short. I got attacked by Timberwolves, I went to the hospital… ahh… they gave me a potion that gave me a raging boner that won’t go away for at least another hour… gahhh… and now I gotta jerk off because my urges are going insane,” I grunted out my response.

Cherry blinked for a moment as everything I just said registered through her thoughts. “It sounds like you're in heat…” she said in a hushed tone. I went to rush to my truck but Cheerilee stopped me. “Can we… do it together?” she asked. Her question took me way off guard.

“What?! We can’t do that. We barely know each other,” I whispered.

“I know but… it would make me feel better if I masturbated with a friend,” she replied in a hopeful voice.

“Wait… masturbate. As in, just masturbate together?” I asked and she nodded. “Oh… well… okay maybe… I thought that you…” I was cut short when she suddenly pulled me into a nearby bush.

It was dimly lit, but the bushes were thick and tall enough that I couldn’t even see through the dense leaves. Heck, I couldn’t even figure out how there was light in here. Cheerilee rested her head against a tree trunk with a lustful sigh then pulled out a pink dildo.

She spread her legs then touched a button on the dildo and it hummed to life. The end slowly rotated in clockwise rotations. I muttered to myself, “Ah… a vibrator huh?”

She gave me a lustful look. “Wow… I uhh…” I stammered as she continued to watch me while masturbating. The earth pony in front of me began to massage her sides with her left hoof while she brought the toy up to her lips. Sucking on the tip of her vibrating toy, she let out a silent hum as she went about her business.

My body was stuck in place, completely shocked that I was masturbating with a pony elementary school teacher. The rotating cock slowly slipped out of her mouth and she trailed it down her neck, then down her chest, past her breasts and finally to her groin.

My breath became nervous and shaky. I had the painful urge to just crawl over top of her and fuck her like a mad animal. I winced as a lustful fantasy played through my head.

I sat up to my hands and knees and scampered over to her like a playful puppy, tongue dangling out of my mouth, drool slipping to the soft soil below.

Her eyes went wide but I quickly closed the gap between our faces as I panted my lips to hers. Her eyes quickly fluttered shut as we embraced in a lustful kiss. Our tongues battled it out, trying to pin the other in a show of dominance. Surprisingly, she bested me, shoving her tongue deep into the back of my throat.

In a brief motion, she cuffed her hindleg around mine then flipped me onto my back. I gasped from the sudden aggressiveness but was even more surprised when she pinned me to the ground. "If it's a show of dominance you want..." She trailed off with a cheeky smile.

I was wondering just what exactly she had in mind, but quickly found out as I felt a soft fluffiness rubbing around my groin. Her hooves quickly went to work and undid my belt then slid down my pants and underwear. The soft fluffiness turned out to be her tail, which wisped around my shaft, making throb, driving my urges insane.

A soft moan snapped me back to reality. I lightly slapped myself in the face. 'Come on Burdy, keep it together man. You aren't seriously be contemplating fucking a mare? Are you?' I thought to myself. I looked over to the mare across from me. Her left hoof trailed over her puffy clit and she began a gentle massage on herself. Her silent coos were like music to my ears, driving me to a near breaking point. She brought the tip of the rubber shaft to her entrance, letting it rotate and move her folds aside without much assistance of the user.

I tried to steady my breath but it was no use. The scent that was being set off from her cunt was intoxicating. “Aren’t you going to join in? It’s no fun with just one pony doing it,” she stated in a lustful voice.

Without needing further encouragement, I unbuckled my belt and slid my pants partly down, along with my boxers, letting my shaft fling out and stick straight up. Cheerilee eyed me up for a moment before returning to her own leisurely activity.

I brought my shaky right hand down to my throbbing cock and gave my tip a gentle rub, sending tingles of pleasure down to the base of my rod.

Cheerilee brought the humming toy up to her mouth and spit on the tip, then used her hoof to spread the lubricant down the entire shaft. I looked down to her twitching slit. It was soaking wet and quivering with anticipation.

I once again just considered crawling over and just ramming my cock into her needy cunt. I was once again, lost into my fantasy.

My breath quickened as she lowered herself over my shaft. As her entrance touched the tip of my shaft, tingles of pleasure were sent to the base of my member. I let out a gasping grunt. "Guh... uhh..." I panted as she continued to lower herself onto me. Every inch felt like a new sensation of pleasure.

"Oh god... sweet Jesus." I moaned as she took the final length with one simple thrust downwards. The burst of pleasure that shot through me nearly sent me over the edge. I pulled my arms away from her grip and grappled her sides as I began to wildly thrust her.

She quickly pinned me again, stabilizing me and keeping my body still still. I felt myself twitch inside of her. God I just wanted to rut like a wild dog. She shook her head playfully and shook her hoof. "Ah-ah-ahh, none of that. I'm still dominant, remember?" She teased.

She began slow and gentle slides. Gliding up and stopping for a moment, I could tell both of us desired me to fill her again. She slowly slid back down, taking my entire length with a simple yet very fluent motion. My legs squirmed in pleasure, my right started to spasm as I endured the mentally painful yet physically pleasureful act. God it was like she knew exactly how to build me up to the brink, without actually setting me off.

I snapped back to reality, naturally this time. Cheerilee hummed a moan as she brought the pink toy back down to her puffy pink slit. I began stroking my shaft, imagining that the vibrator was actually my cock. My left hand rested shakily against my forehead. This was wrong, kind of. My heart was racing out of control in both nervousness and lust.

Cheerilee ever so slowly began to slide the toy inside of her slit, her lips spreading apart to accommodate it. She closed her eyes and continued with the slow insertion, so slow that rock corrosion seemed faster.

“Mmm… ahh… oh fuck yes…” Cheerilee muttered quiet and dirty curses to herself while I sat silent, jerking off while I watched her masturbate. She opened her eyes and giggled at me. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked.

“Uhm… oh yeah… uhh…” Talking dirty while I masturbated wasn’t exactly a huge thing for me, and made me feel extremely awkward in doing it.

“When was the last time your relieved yourself?” she asked curiously and I thought to myself. I wasn’t exactly good at memorizing little things, heck, I’d even forgotten how old I was once or twice.

“Oh… uhm… about seven months ago I guess,” I replied and she gasped.

“Oh sweet Celestia… that long?!” she asked in a shocked tone and I simply nodded. “Well, did you at least have sex in that time gap?” I shook my head again. “How do you go on with your urges constantly nagging at you?” she curiously asked as she began gentle thrusts with the vibrator.

“Oh uhh… I usually don’t have urges. I just work and pump iron,” I informed her. I was going to add in ‘shoot guns’ but didn’t feel like explaining what guns were.

“Wow… you really have great self-control. I need to masturbate at least twice a day. Once in the mornings before school and once before bed. Can’t get through the day without it,” she informed me.

I stifled a slight chuckle. “Uhm… thanks for sharing,” I stammered out a dopey reply. She suddenly let out a relieved sigh. “Did you just… you know?” I asked and she raised an eyebrow.

“Cum?” She answered my question with another question. I nodded and she shook her head, “No… would you like to see me cum?” she asked, and my head nodded all on its own. “Okay, but try to match my tempo,” she told me.

As she began to slide the fake phallus in and out of her cunt, I began to stroke my shaft in similar motions to her toy, still pretending it was my cock going into her. “God I’d like to just get up and fuck her,” I thought but quickly realized that I had just said that out loud. I blushed but let out a silent sigh as I realized that she probably hadn’t heard me over her own constant moaning.

Every time she slid the dildo inside of her body it made a slick sound as the wet balls of the dildo slapped her ass. Then as she slid it out, it would make a slurping sound.

She began to pick up the pace and I matched her but was quickly overcome by a building pressure in my groin. “Holy shit… I’m gonna cum,” I grunted and Cheerilee whispered to me. My mind blurred as I was once again sucked into my fantasy world.

Her pace quickened, and so did her moans of pleasure. A sloppy wet squelching sound could be heard as she started to slam down on my cock at a rather fast pace.Her left hoof left it's place and rested on her forehead as she began to blush. Without her hoof restraining my arm, it was free game.

My left immediately shot to her sides and gripped her hips while my right struggled out of her vice-grip hold and followed a similar fashion as my left hand. I began to pump my hips against hers, forcing myself deeper than before with each inward thrust. Her moans became erratic and it was clear. We were both close.

"Guh... I'm gonna cum." I grunted, not really paying attention that I was muttering that out loud.

“Already?… slow down, I don’t want to masturbate alone,” she told me. I was going to ask ‘Don’t you masturbate alone every day?’ But then quickly remembered that we were in some random bush in the middle of town.

I slowed my pace, but still the pressure in the base of my cock grew. Just a simple touch kept building up towards my climax. She quickened her thrusts and soon she began letting out whimpered moans, trying to keep our little session secret from ponies that might be passing by.

“Oh… oh I’m almost there…” she whispered. I began to pick up the pace as well. The slurping sound of her pussy being pounded by the dildo sounded like anypony passing by would hear it, but that was probably because we were trying to keep it quiet.

Her breathing accelerated to a point that I couldn’t match. Precum leaked out the top of my dick and acted as a slick lubricant as I continued to jerk myself off. Once again my mind left to my sexual fantasy, drug induced sexual fantasy I might add.

Her body gave out on her as she reached her orgasm. She let out a scream of ecstasy as she collapsed onto my chest. I kept thrusting my hips, slamming her cunt with my throbbing shaft. "Ahh, yes... oh Celestia yes, I'm cumming!" She screamed. With how loud she was screaming, I wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of ponies were watching us right now.

My motions quickened and I felt a splash of viscous liquids lather onto my groin area. Suddenly her inner walls began to clamp around my entire length and it was too much for me to handle. With once last grunt, I grabbed her upper body and pulled her tight to mine. I slammed myself deep inside her and let go of my restraint.

My entire length throbbed in a tidal wave of pleasure. A burst of hot cum lathered her insides and she moaned. "Oh goddess yes... oh fill me like the filthy slut that I am." I twitched again, another jet shot out and she continued her moaning rant.

A real life moan snapped me back to reality. “Oooh… oh yes… oh Celestia yes… OH YES… I’M CUMMING!” Cheerilee cried out. She gave a few last powerful thrusts with the vibrator then drove it deep into her crevice and left it there, the rotating head still wiggling around inside of her.

Her hind legs kicked and spasmed as she endured her awaited orgasm. A viscous fluid squirted out from her stuffed cunt, some landing on my leg. My moment arrived shortly after hers. I felt a tense pressure in my balls, then all of a sudden it felt as if a tidal wave burst from my cock.

Globs of sticky wet semen spurted out, spraying in random directions. One jet of cum splattered against my freshly cleaned combat jacket, staining it with my essence. My cock kept twitching, each twitch let out another jet of cum, but I paid more attention to my soiled coat. “Cock a block,” I cursed to myself, not able to piece together a clever swear.

I looked over to Cheerilee, who was sitting right across from me, only to see that some of my spooge had splattered onto her belly, lacing her breasts as well.

“Evan…” she whispered and I gulped.

“Cheerilee, I’m so sorry,” I apologized but she shook her head.

“Don’t be. That was amazing. I haven’t had a MP for a long time,” she replied and I raised an eyebrow.

“An MP?” I asked and she nodded.

“A masturbating partner,” she replied casually and I chuckled.

“I’m sorry Cheerilee… I’m a pig,” I told her. My urges now fading for the moment, I reflected on the fact that I had just jerked off with a pony, while imagining myself to be fucking her.

“No you’re not. If you were a pig you would’ve fucked me,” she informed me.

“What logic is in that? We were masturbating together,” I replied and she giggled.

“Don’t you know how MPs work?” she asked and I shook my head. She rolled her eyes and began explaining it to me. “Two good friends get together and masturbate together because they aren’t afraid of relieving themselves with a close friend. At the same time there is no actual sexual contact between the two, so one doesn’t have to worry about the other trying to make a move on them,” she explained. ‘That made absolutely no friggin sense. Well, maybe a little,’ I thought to myself.

“It’s more or less for mares who don’t want sexual relationships but still want somepony close who they can masturbate with,” she finished explaining and it made a little bit more sense, but still was kind of a weird idea.

A sudden drowsiness came over me and my world started to spin. “Oh… uhm… Cherry… I think I’m gonna take a nap,” I muttered as I tucked in my cock and buckled up my pants.

I was out before I hit the ground and my world went black. Figures that masturbating made me more exhausted than a hard day’s work… ha-ha, hard.

Cheerilee lay ontop of me, panting heavily as our mixed juices seeped into the ground. "Oh goddess Evan, that was wonderful. We should definitely do that again." She whispered to me. She pulled off my shaft and a rather soft Scluck sound could be heard, but nopony but us probably heard it.

I nodded as she rested her head on my chest. "I've always wanted a special somepony..." She trailed off and giggled. "Or I guess in my case, a special somehuman." She laughed timidly.

"Somebody... that special somebody." I whispered back. I felt her lips curl into a smile on my chest as we both past out.

I awoke several hours later and it was dark out. 'Man... if masturbating with someone else makes it that difficult to figure out the difference between real life and a fantasy... next time I'm just gonna jerk off in my truck.' My penis had finally returned to its soft state and was more comfortable than before. I found a little scrap of paper with a note on it. I leaned over and read it.

‘Thank you for cumming with me Evan. It meant a lot to me to have an MP. If any time you need one, don’t be afraid to ask.

Cheerilee, xoxo’

I let out a sigh as I rolled onto my back. I had a feeling that this was one of those times that, even though it felt like a really, really, REALLY fucked up dream, it probably actually happened.

“Well, at least I learned something about friendship,” I muttered as I pulled out a pencil and paper, quickly scribbling down a message for Twilight.

‘Dear princess Sparkler,
Today I learns that masturbation is mutual. They call it MP, masturbating partner. It was weird and didn’t make a lot of sense and I did it with a close friend because we both had a ridiculous urge to rut. So we masturbated together. Yeah, figure that one out, it confuses the hell out of me too. All I wanted to do was jerk off in the back of my truck while reading a porn mag, instead I end up rubbing one off with a friend.

You’re #1 henchman,
Burdy

Author's Notes:

I feel like buying some Lucky Charms right now, and some Transmission fluid (Cadence doesn't leak, she marks her territory) Before winter comes (Which in Canada is nearly 10 months of the year, except now it's not because global warming has killed our snow, I blame Al Gore for this, he jinxed us.) Anyway, I need to get an oil undercoating, probably a new Tranny pan, or just plug the leak, and winter tire which cost nearly $2000 for a set... *Makes Whiny sound* Now I can't buy that elephant gun that I wanted to buy