Burdy's perspective...

I drowsed awake in a distantly familiar setting. Particle board lined the walls. Pinned up to the walls were outdated calendars, some ranging beyond a decade old. I lay sprawled out on a couch that was a foot or two too small for my body length.

An old comforter blanket and bed sheet were tangled around my body along with a very plush pillow I had bought recently. By my improvised bed, stood a small table with an equally small television that I used to play video games.

The smell of sweat made itself known, mostly due to the fact I had worn my shirt and pants to bed then promptly overheated. I lay there, staring at the hideous ceiling and contemplating whether or not to get up.

Suddenly my door was kicked in and... she, stepped in to my room. With a scoff, she started on a rant. “Why the fuck don't you buy a bed?!” she yelled and I just shrugged drowsily. “Oh! Pfft, yeah... cause you're a filthy fucking old man with hygiene issues, I forgot!” she snarled and I just rolled my eyes.

“Oh yeah! Just... fuck you, right?” she asked angrily and I shrugged. “UGH! What the fuck is wrong with you? Just look at this pillow! It's fucking filthy!” She screamed as she yanked the pillow out from under my head.

“Look at all this filth! This pillow used to be blue!” she screamed and I rolled my eyes yet again.

“No... it was always gray. That's the way I bought it a week ago,” I groaned out my reply and she just threw the pillow at the ground before sniffing the air.

“And you have serious body odor problems! The fuck is wrong with you? Don't you shower?!” she screamed and I just sighed.

“Okay... ugh,” I sighed and flicked my forehead in irritation. “I just showered before I went to bed but it was cold so I slipped on a pair of pants and shirt-” she cut me off and began to rant and rave... mostly about useless things that weren't in any way related but somehow made it my fault.

After what turned out to be nearly half an hour, she huffed then slammed my door, nearly hard enough to break the framing. I reached for my pillow which she had thrown on the ground and put it over my head as I let out an exhale which also acted as an annoyed sigh.

I wouldn't be able to fall asleep now, not even if I wanted to. I sniffed the pillow. It didn't smell bad, a little like sweat but a quick wash would change that...

I awoke soundly and well rested. The memory of my dream quickly fading from thought. I stroked my hands through the rat's nest that was my hair. I also needed a shave... badly too. I was supposed to get one last time I had seen Rarity but... it ended a little differently than what I was expecting.

I sat on the edge of my nice bed. It was comfy... a little cold at night but what could one expect when living in a basement. I wiggled my toes a bit as I stood up and made my way over to my dresser, fetching my pair of matching camouflage pants and jacket.

It had been a while since I wore the jacket and it was a little snug with my larger mass but nothing restrictive. I stretched out then slipped on my eye patch, watch, necklace and a pair of white socks before making my way upstairs.

It was the second of July now, a Wednesday. The last week and a bit I had just wandered around and did nothing worth mentioning. As I walked up the stairs, I noticed I had a bit of a stench to me.

I cursed myself for having put on clean clothes then took note that I needed a shower before starting my day. I quickly made my way to the bathroom and into the shower. I left my clothes in a clumped heap as I dialed the taps in to make the water that perfect soothing temperature.

The moment I stepped in, shivers went down my back as the sudden change in temperature took my senses by surprise, even though I knew full well it was going to be warm. I enjoyed myself briefly, basking in the warmth of the streaming water that beset itself upon me. As the moments passed I stopped standing around and quickly began soaping and scrubbing myself down. In a matter of minutes I was finished.

Satisfied, I turned off the water and went to step out before realizing something. In my morning state, I hadn't thought to grab myself a towel. I bit my lip as I looked across the bathroom to the cupboard that was filled with folded towels.

I was soaked, of course, and would drip water across the floor if I walked. A memory came to mind, the one where Twilight said anything I put my mind to, I could do... which led to a terrible session of myself trying to use a simple levitation spell.

I bit my lip. “Worth a try,” I muttered as I reached my hand out as if to grasp the cupboard door handle. I concentrated but my conscious spoke in and broke my concentration.

'No! Do... or do not, there is no try,' he joked and I gasped and nearly fell forwards, having been so into trying to open the cupboard door.

“Fine...” I trailed off and focused once more, imagining my magic grasp opening the door. At first, nothing happened. I closed my eyes and imagined it opening, as if a gust of wind had blown it open. My arm flexed as I used all my inner strength to open it with my mind.

It took a moment, and a little frustration, but very slowly I pictured the door slowly opening, revealing a pile of folded towels. I opened my eyes with a smile...

My smile quickly turned to a frown as I realized the cupboard was still shut. I groaned but as I did, the door to the washroom swung open. Lassie walked in without realizing I was in here. After a moment passed, she stopped dead in her tracks.

“Whoops! Sorry, didn't think anypony was in here,” she turned casually to leave but I called out to her.

“Wait Lassie! Hold up!” I called back to her and she stopped, her ears perking up as she turned back around. I pointed to the cupboards. “Towel... please?” I asked. She pranced back over, hopped to her hindlegs and retrieved a towel, promptly tossing it over to me.

“You're welcome,” she said with a wink and a smile then proceeded out of the washroom, shutting the door behind her. She stayed just outside the door and called back to me. “Hurry up in there, I gotta tinkle,” she said and I snorted, trying to stifle a laugh.

'Tinkle... who the hay says that?' I unfolded the towel and groaned. “Ugh... Lassie, this is a hoof towel,” I called out but she just laughed back a response.

“So? Just dry off your feet and get yourself another one.” I rolled my eye and mouthed her exact words in an irritated fashion.

I did my best to dry off my feet and ankles then quickly hopped over to the cupboards and retrieved a larger towel. Quickly drying myself off, I slipped on my clothes from before and proceeded out of the washroom, still using the towel to dry out my hair.

Lassie rushed in and locked the door behind her. I walked into the kitchen humming a tune to myself as I pondered what I should have for breakfast. Instead I was answered by the sight of Spike whipping up some fruit salad with a side dish of muffins.

“Mornin',” I greeted and he turned to me. I took a moment to smile, seeing how far his body mass had come from the small plump little dragon I remembered from when I first arrived.

“Hey Evan. Good morning,” he greeted back. I stepped over and looked at the salad. There was an even assortment of everything to which I just snickered. “Uhh... is something wrong?” he asked but I just shook my head.

“Nah...” I trailed off as I reached for a large spoon. “Just made me remember back on my world. We'd get fruit salad in sealed cans... except there'd only ever be... if I was lucky, one cherry in the whole can,” I laughed as I held the spoon. “May I?” I asked and he nodded.

I took a scoopful and downed it. It was pretty fine to say the least. “That's not half bad kid. Hey, you could be a chef or something when you're older,” I gave my compliment to which he nodded happily.

“Oh, cool. Thanks,” he thanked me. I grabbed a bowl and a different serving spoon then scooped myself a plentiful serving. I took a seat and reached for a muffin but Spike called out.

“No wait! Not that one. It's got jewels in it... for me,” he said. I left my hand lingering for just a second as my brain processed what he had said. I withdrew my hand and grabbed another muffin.

As I sat down, Spike sat across from me with a similar bowl of food, except he had a cooler looking muffin. I chuckled. “Man... could you imagine if I had ate that? It would've given me wicked digestion problems,” I laughed and he nodded.

“Oh yeah... that wouldn't be good. I don't know what your stomach is like but dragons have powerful digestive tracks that allow us to eat a lot of things that wouldn't usually be edible,” he said and I laughed as I remembered yet another distant memory.

“You know how you can't really twist off non-twist off bottle caps?” I asked and he nodded. “Well there was this trick right... you put the cap edge against the edge of a desk or something then pop it off... well... I was kinda dumb and gave it too hard of a whack and the neck of the bottle shattered,” I chuckled and Spike just looked at me curiously.

“So anyway, since I had already paid for the darn thing, I figured... might as well drink it anyway-” Spike cut in.

“Glass and all?!” he asked, astonished but I gave a shrug.

“Kinda... I tried using my tongue like a filter to stop the glass... funnier yet, the teacher in the room said I couldn't drink it. So I was trying to coax her into letting me drink it thinking she wouldn't let me drink it just cause I wasn't supposed to drink in class... turns out she was saying I couldn't drink it cause there was glass. But I did anyway,” I replied and Spike's jaw went slack.

“Oh man... that could've ended really badly. I know that ponies can't eat broken glass,” he mentioned and I nodded.

“Yeah... wasn't so bad until a day or two later when I used the washroom... real painful like,” I laughed. Spike was speechless.

“Man... you must be really brave to drink something with broken glass in it,” he mentioned but I shook my head.

“Nah... just really, really, REALLY stupid,” I replied back with a laugh. I took a spoonful of fruit and mouthed it around before downing it. It was really good. And that's saying a lot since most fruit salad just tasted like... fruit salad. Spike and I talked for a little bit while we ate, mostly just gibber-jabber.

Lassie walked into the kitchen and immediately eyed the fruit salad. "Hey, that looks good. Can I have some?" she asked and Spike gave her a nod. I took note that it had been nearly fifteen minutes since she had went into the washroom. “Take long enough to tinkle?” I asked with a risen brow and she just stuck her tongue out.

“Yeah, well it would've went quicker if I had some help,” she commented and I rose a brow in confusion. I had heard the old saying guys say to other guys that it'd be easier if the other holds it but... She just patted me on the shoulder as she passed by to get some fruit salad. “Don't worry about it. It's wayyyyy out of your vocabulary.”

I was dumbstruck but she didn't say anything else as yet another presence entered the room. “Morning everypon-” she cut herself off, realizing rather quickly she was the only pony in the room. “Morning everyone,” she greeted and we all nodded our heads to her.

She trotted over to the counter and looked at the fruit salad. “Did you make this Spike?” she asked and he nodded. She scooped herself a small dish and trotted over to the table before taking a mouthful.

“Mmm... excellent as always, my number one assistant,” she commented. I took a bite out of the muffin and gave him a wink.

“Better than glass,” I chuckled and he smirked. Both Lassie and Twilight looked to me with wondering stares. “Nothing, inside joke,” I replied and Lassie gave a pouty face.

“Awww... I wanna know the joke,” she pouted but I just shook my head.

“It's... it wouldn't be funny if I explained it to you. Besides... it's not all that funny to begin with,” I replied. Lassie took a moment then giggled.

“Oh... ah-ha-ha... oooh... you ate glass before didn't you?” she asked and I just rolled my eyes. Twilight looked to me, brows risen in worry. I just waved it off. I raised a spoon to Spike.

“Grade A stuff man. Five stars,” I told him. Lassie and Twilight both nodded. Spike blushed a little. I took another muffin as I mowed down on the fruit salad. After a short while, Twilight spoke up.

“I was wondering... Evan,” she said, putting emphasis on my name.

“Yes mom?” I asked back and she just sighed.

“Well... I was thinking. I know it's not your style but... maybe you should get a haircut and shave.” I nodded.

“Yeah I know... it's kinda growing into a rat's nest,” I chuckled and she nodded.

“Well... not only that but... I meant a nice haircut and clean shave. You are still going to the gala, right?” she asked and I gave a shrug.

“Yeah... probably. Unless something more urgent comes up,” I replied and she nodded.

“Precisely. The thing is though... The Grand Galloping Gala is very... fancy if you will and... as to not disrespect Celestia in front of the others for having invited you privately, it may be best if you made yourself... a little more respectable. Not that I'm saying you're dirty or anything, just that you'd stick out like a sore tooth,” she told me.

I nodded. “Yeah... I was in need of a haircut and shave anyway,” I replied and she mentioned something else I had been neglecting.

“By chance have you found somepony to go with you yet?” she asked and I bit my tongue.

“Uhm... working on that,” I replied. I quickly finished up and put my dish in the sink. Just before I left, I turned to them with a blank face. “Ah'll be back,” I said in my best Arnie voice.

Lassie called out. “Oh, one more thing,” she said and I turned to her. “I've never been, but I have a feeling it's not some military meet,” she mentioned and I blinked. “Hey, don't get me wrong, it suits you but...” she laughed then rolled her eyes. “You're gonna need something a little more classy than camouflage fatigues or a western duster coat.”

I gave a nod then left. 'What's wrong with my clothes? I like this coat,' I thought silently as I hopped into Cadence. I looked to the instrument panel. “Do you think my coat is out of fashion, Cadence?” I asked as I swiped the naughty key and started the truck. “Yeah, that's what I said.”

With that I drove off to Rarity's boutique. She'd be able to help me... well, with my hair at least. As I drove, I looked to my rear view mirror and scruffled my hair. I would use the sun visor mirror if I had one, but being a four wheel drive truck my visor mirror had been replaced with a warning about how the vehicle operated differently and to refer to the owners manual for further instructions. Useless, would rather have the cool little mirror with lights like the passenger side did.

I pulled the truck up to the side of the boutique and shut her down. I had no idea how long I'd be. I stepped out and gave the truck door a bump with my rump to close it as I walked toward the front door of Rarity's.

I gave a gentle knock but made sure it was audible. Rarity's smooth voice answered. “Come in darling, the door is open,” she called out in her usual luxurious tone. I stepped through the door and made note to take off my boots at the doormat. It looked as if she had just mopped the place.

She turned to see who it was and gasped, pulling a sheet of fabric over herself. “Oh darling it's you! You must really tell me when you're coming over to visit. I'm not even decent,” she said in a flustered tone.

I scratched the side of my nose. “I didn't really... notice. Floor looks nice,” I complimented and she gave a nervous laugh.

“Yes-yes. The floor is clean. Do watch your step darling, it is ever so slippery,” she warned and I nodded. I went to step closer but she waved her hoof at me while still hiding most of her body behind the fabric sheet. “Not a step closer darling. I'm hideous at the moment. I won't allow you to see me in such a way,” she commented. I just stood there, dumbfounded.

“Uhh... well... I mean, if you're busy-” she cut me short.

“Not another word darling. I'll be back before you can shake a leg.” And with that she was off. I shook my leg then looked. She wasn't back yet. I scratched the back of my head, wondering what exactly she had been doing. I stepped over and took a look. It seemed like she had been sewing something together.

As I looked, a little squeaky voice chimed in. “She really likes you, you know.” I turned to see Rarity's younger sister, Sweetiebelle.

“Yeah I uhh... I'm charismatic,” I replied, a little stutter in my voice.

“Charis-what?” she asked and I just shook my head.

“Means ponies tend to like me cause I'm nice,” I informed her and her brow furrowed.

“No, I meant she REALLY likes you,” she said. I paid her no mind for the most part and examined the sewn fabric. It was so well done I could barely tell it had actually been sewn together. “Are you even listening to me?!” she chirped and I nodded.

“Yeah-yeah... likes you, err, me... nice job Rarity,” I muttered to myself and Sweetiebelle gave a 'humph'. I turned to her and ruffled her mane. “Sorry kid, I was caught up in her work. You were saying?” I asked and she rolled her eyes.

“I was saying... never mind, you two were made for each other,” she commented with a somewhat annoyed tone.

I cocked a brow. “Made for each other?” I asked in slight confusion.

She looked back to me with a dumbfounded look. “Are you dumb or something?” she asked but before I could reply with a nod, another pony cut in.

“Sweetiebelle, darling, it is rude to speak to our guest in such a way,” Rarity chimed. She pulled out a bag of bits. “Would you be a dear and fetch me some cider from Applejack?” she asked as she levitated over the bits.

“But we have some downsta-” Rarity cut her short.

“Fresh cider darling, chop-chop,” Rarity instructed. Sweetiebelle gave another flustered and annoyed 'humph' and was about to leave before I cut in.

“Well... if it's any inconvenience I could always just drive over there and pick it up for you. It'd probably be faster that way,” I offered and Sweetiebelle's face brightened up.

“Yeah, he coul-” but Rarity cut her sister short yet again.

“Nonsense darling, I wouldn't make you go out of your way just for me,” she chimed and shooed her sister away, locking the door behind her.

“Well... uhh... I was-” but Rarity cut me off.

“No-no darling, it's nothing, believe me.” She swung her head to one side, swishing her mane as she did so. With that, she fluttered her eyes at me and I realized she had a lot of makeup on. “To what do I owe the honor darling?” she asked and I just blinked, sort of caught up in her stunning look.

“Uhh... I uhm...” I stammered. She was kind of really pretty like this.

“You like it?” she asked and I realized my jaw was slack, mouth gaping a bit.

“Uhm... you look purty,” I bumbled out. I quickly bit my lip and shook my head. “Uhm, ahem... yeah, you like nice Rarity. The eye liner really brings out your eyes and the... uhh... uhm, cheek powder stuff really brings out the complexity of your mane... I think,” I replied and she rose a brow.

“Darling, I had no idea you were one with cosmetics,” she said in an impressed tone but I shook my head.

“Nah... I'm an all natural kind of guy. I don't bother with makeup and accessories,” I told her then snapped. “But... uhm, I was kind of wondering... if you weren't too busy...” I trailed off, looking back to her sewing machine and half finished... maybe it wasn't even half finished... whatever it was.

“I'm not doing anything at the moment actually,” she replied and I looked again to the... dress, I'll call it.

“Well... uhm... I was gonna say, nice dress. I don't really want to take up your-” she cut me off as she moved the sewing machine and fabric aside. With that, she lay across the table in a most peculiar way.

“Nonsense darling, it was just something I was playing around with. A doodle if you will. Now... what do you have on your mind?” she asked, leaning her cheek into one of her supporting fore hooves and crossing her hindlegs.

“Uhm... well... I uhh...” I trailed off as I saw her free hoof move down her side. Without turning my head, I watched her hoof sliding down her hindlegs in the strangest of ways. I scratched the back of my ear. “I was gonna ask for a haircut,” I replied blankly.

With that said, she gasped and lost her balance. I reached my hands out in natural reflex and caught her as she fell. I cradled her in my arms for a moment, a look of pure astonishment spread across her face.

“A-a-a... a hair-aircut?” she stammered. I set her down to all fours. She stumbled around as if about to faint.

“Well... I mean... yeah, if you're not too busy...” I trailed off, waiting for her to pick up.

“Just a haircut... that's all? Nothing else?” she asked, baffled.

I rubbed my beard. “Uhm... and a shave, if it's not too much to ask,” I asked. She took a moment to get herself together from a... a panic attack?

She wiped her mane to one side. “I-I-I su-supose if that's 'all' you wanted... I could lend a helping hoof.” Her horn lit up and she levitated over some shaving utensils. I took a seat in the barber chair and she wrapped the bib across my neck. “How do you want it darling?”

I rubbed my chin. “Uhm... well uhh... I kinda need to look nice. Well, not just nice. I need to look... uhm...” I trailed off as I twitched my lip, trying to find the word I was looking for.

“Stunning?” she asked and I tossed my head from side to side.

“I'm supposed to not stand out when I go to the gala,” I replied and she gasped, stepping around and in front of me.

“The gala? As in, The Grand Galloping Gala?” she asked in astonishment. I nodded. “You were invited?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Yeah. Celestia sent me an invitation,” I said casually, not really caring about it at the moment.

“Celestia herself gave you a private invitation to The Grand Galloping Gala?!” Rarity asked in complete and utter shock. I just stroked my hair as I looked in the mirror, wondering what look I should sport. I really just wanted the traditional flattop look again.

“Yeah... well, really, she didn't give me a private invitation... just an invitation. Two actually. I'm supposed to bring a good friend but... well, Twilight has things and stuff to do, Pinkie... didn't want to? And Lassie probably wouldn't be able to go. I was-” she cut me short and swung her mane to one side with a bash of her eyes.

“What about me darling?” she asked and I blinked.

“Well... yeah, I guess that would work. You seem like the high society party goer. And you are my friend, right? So... huh, I never even thought of that,” I muttered and she gave a slight frown.

“You didn't even consider me when you were looking for friends to go with you?” she asked but I shook my head.

“No-no, what I meant was I never thought of that cause I didn't give it much thought lately... at all actually. I wasn't going to go originally but I was persuaded to go due to the fact it might be disrespectful to Celestia since she had requested me personally. Not like I had anything to do either so... heh, my brother's birthday was on the forth of July actually,” I chuckled, beginning to ramble but Rarity didn't pay much mind to my useless ramblings.

She swung around to my rear side, leaning in close and looking to my reflection in the mirror. “Oh darling, just think of it. You and I at the gala together, dressed in top of the line outfits, hoof in hoo... hoof in hand, we'll be the center of everypony's attention...” she began to ramble on and said something about how it would show that stinking, arrogant, self righteous blue blood... the hell was a blue blood? Wasn't that like... some kind of slang for British people?

With that, she began to cut and snip my hair, slicing it down further than I'd like. Then she began to comb my hair in a 50s gentleman haircut, with my hair slicked to one side. Before I knew it she began a clean shave on my beard and mustache that had grown out over the past month and a bit.

She dabbed my neck with aftershave and sprayed some liquid from a squirt bottle on my hair before spinning me around, twirling my body over to a dressing stand. “What shall it be darling: rose red tuxedo, tailored suit, vest and-” I cut her off.

“Can I have a plaid shirt with red and green suspenders?” I asked bluntly and her face went pale.

“Darling, you can't be serious...” she trailed off but when I didn't answer she gave a shudder. “Eww... that would look disastrous... uhm, not that's there's anything wrong with your choice in clothing darling but we need to look the part...” she trailed off with a high note and I just knew, gut feeling, this was going to end with a musical of some sort.

She started off by singing about style. I rolled my eye. 'Yeah... musical... figures,' I thought silently to myself but before I could think about anything else I was yanked off my feet and held upside down in the air. “WOAH, EH!” I yelped but before I could do anything else, she continued to sing and my belt was unstrapped and flicked off, quickly followed by my jeans. “EH!” I called out as I was quickly stripped, my clothes tossed onto my boots by the front door.

Left in nothing but my boxer briefs I called out to Rarity. “Hey, do you mind?” I asked, feeling exposed. She paid my discomfort no real mind as she gently set me down, still singing about stylish trousers.

I tossed my hands up in defeat. I guess I'd just have to roll with it for now. Before I could say much of anything, she hopped up to her hindlegs and took my hands with her hooves and began dancing around with me in a classy fashion.

I was about to say something before she kicked my legs out from under me but held me airborne with her magic as she slipped a pair of black suit pants on my legs. They were a bit short and ended a little higher than what I'd like but I never got a chance to complain as she set me back down and began to dance with me again.

“You know... Rarity, I'm not much of a-” but she cut me off as she yet again kicked my feet out from under me, this time fitting a pair of snazzy buckle shoes on my feet. There were really tight and felt horrible, scrunching my toes to a nearly painful point... but then again, they probably weren't meant for a human.

I was set down again and we began to dance, a classic music tune playing in the background that matched her voice. 'Goddess dammit, how do these ponies just randomly break down into musicals at the drop of a hoof?' I wondered to myself.

We began dancing around and my feet began to stumble do to the pain in my feet. As I staggered about, she twirled me into a spin and before I knew it, a fine shirt was slipped onto my body and all the buttons were done up just before a fine, slim, black tie was put on.

I tried to squirm to get a better fit but found it was also uncomfortably tight. “Rairty, it's-” but I was cut off as a black suit vest was tightened onto my body, pulling in rather tight around my stomach region and restricting my breathing. “Eh!” I gasped but was swept off my feet by the dancing and singing mare. Rather than hold both my hands, she held just my right while laying her spare hoof against my chest.

With a bash of her eyes, she gazed upon me with what one would consider 'bedroom' eyes. “Darling, has anypony ever told you your eyes are captivating?” My heart skipped a beat as I blushed timidly.

“Uhm... ah-heh-heh... uhm, thanks... you have... uhm-” I got choked up on words as I stammered shyly. I was never really ready to be complimented like this. Before I could bumble out another syllable, a finely made suit jacket was slipped on but again, it was too tight for my liking.

A little flower was hooked into the chest pocket. Rarity pulled me close. “Darling, the suit really does brings out your stunning complexion,” she cooed. I was at a loss of words. Suddenly the seams in the pants gave out along with the sewing in the suit and before either of us could say anything, the tightly fit uniform had reached its stress limit and simply fell into shreds.

Rarity sighed. “Oh darling, must you be so devilishly large?” She bit her lip and thought to herself. “IDEEEEEA!” she chimed and zipped off. I went to say something but she was back in a flash with a line of measuring tape. Goddess, I can't even keep up with her.

She began to measure my every curve, and sometimes taking longer than she should while measuring my more... private region. Before long she was doing the finishing measurements. Strapping the measuring line around my biceps, she looked at me. “Darling, could you flex your muscles for me?” she asked and I cocked an eyebrow. “So I can make your suit to accommodate,” she informed me.

I gave it my best, flexing as hard as I could. My skin stretched as the muscles along my entire arm expanded slightly. Veins made themselves known as they bulged out slightly. Rarity bit her lip with a somewhat dreamy look. “Oh my... you have such a wonderful physique... but I'm sure all the mares say that,” she sighed. I blushed heavily. I was really not used to being complimented.

“Uhm... ahh... heh-heh... uhm, no... actually, nopony ever really sees me like this,” I replied, sweeping off the excess shreds of clothing that still remained on my body. I was left with a torn pair of pants that now looked like shorts. Rarity had been kind enough to remove the overly tight footwear while she was measuring my body. I kinda looked like the hulk in a way, just a pair of ripped shorts.

“Nopony has ever seen you like this?” she chimed and I rubbed the back of my head.

“Well... I mean... my mom does but... I mean, I live there so there's the odd time I walk around with just some boxers,” I partially lied. I don't think it'd be good to say she'd seen me all the way naked plus the reasoning behind that.

Rarity exhaled while using her right hoof like a fan. “Oh sweet Celestia... what I'd give to be there,” she sighed.

“Be where?” I asked, puzzled. “Like... at the library? I think you can come over whenever... I mean, I guess not in the middle of the night but-” she cut me off as she hopped to her hindlegs, placing a hoof against my mouth.

“Hush now darling, not another word,” she whispered to me. She began to caress my sides with her hooves, feeling every curve of my upper body. It made me shiver in slight delight. I never really had people ogle over my body and I didn't really enjoy it but at the same time I didn't not like it... but this, I kind of enjoyed this a little.

After a few minutes of her lying her head against my chest and rocking into me, I spoke. “Uhm... can I get my clothes now?” I asked hesitantly. She was taken out of her... trance? She looked to me with shocked eyes.

I rubbed the back of my head with a slightly hesitant chuckle. “Well... ah-ha-ha... I mean, it's nice and all but... I'd kinda like to have my clothes on again,” I informed her. She shook off whatever state of mind she had been in and nodded quickly, bringing over all my clothes with her magic.

“Here you are darling. I'm sorry, I... I don't know what came over me,” she apologized but I just shrugged and gave her a nudge.

“Don't worry, we all space out sometimes,” I assured her while slipping on my clothes. She levitated over a teapot with cups and brought me over to a small table.

“Here darling, take a load off. I'll just write down the measurements for later and I'll be right back.” With that she was off, leaving me with some tea and biscuits. I poured myself a glass and took a biscuit, which was actually some kind of shortbread cookie.

As I was chomping down on the cookie, I heard the irritated growl of a feline. I turned and looked down, only to see Rarity's angry white cat. It had an ugly purple bow-tie holding up its hair and an equally hideous collar.

'Goddess I hate cats,' I thought silently as I broke off a piece of my cookie. Making a squeaky kissing noise, I offered the cat the morsel of food which at first it turned its nose up. I shrugged and just tossed the piece of food to the floor then continued to mind my business.

Before I knew it, the cat was rubbing against my leg, purring lightly. I looked down and saw tiny crumbs around its mouth. I gave a chuckle then broke off another treat and handed it to the cat. This time it ate right out of my hand.

With that, the cat leapt right up into my lap and began to purr loudly as it nestled in. I smiled darkly. “Next time Gadget, next time!” I said darkly. With a chuckle I fed the cat another morsel of shortbread then began to sip my tea as I stroked the cat like I was some evil mastermind.

My conscious spoke up in a reminisce of Emperor Palpatine. 'Goooood'. I couldn't help but to chuckle a bit as I fed yet another piece to the cat who continued to purr.

After a short while Rarity returned. As she approached, a smile came across her face. “Oh Opal, it seems you've made a new friend,” she said with great enthusiasm. Going to pet her prized cat, the feline instead hissed at her. Swinging its claws, the cat sliced off a lock of Rarity's mane before growling in an annoyed tone.

Rarity gave a forced cough. “Ahem... yes well... I suppose perhaps you don't wish to be disturbed. I'll just... leave you to it,” Rarity said as she sat across from me. The cat swung it's head away from her, eyes closed as it leaned into me, beginning to purr once more. “Well... I never knew you were so good with animals. Did Fluttershy teach you?” she asked but I shook my head.

“Nah. I'm a henchman. It's like... rule of law that henchman have cats... err, actually... I guess it's the head crime boss that always has the cat. Anyway, it's like... law that these sorts of cats are supposed to sit on my lap... ah-haha,” I chuckled whilst stroking Opal.

“I see. I never knew that,” she replied but I shook my head.

“Nah, I'm just kidding. I dunno. Just a natural knack for it. Dairy farmer in my younger days so I had a lot of interaction with animals. Not just cattle either,” I replied as I broke off another piece of food for the cat.

“UGH! You shouldn't feed that to Opal. She'll get fat!” Rarity gasped but the cat instead growled and hissed at her, swinging its sharp claws in her direction. Rarity bit her lip and leaned back in her seat, despite being far out of reach from the cat. “Well... that is to say... I suppose a small piece would be okay,” she said with a slight chuckle.

With that the cat in mention graciously took the food from my hand, the whole cookie at that. I lifted my tea cup to my lips and took a gentle sip then swished it around before downing it. It was still hot so I gave a gentle blow to the surface of the beverage.

“So darling... tell me. What made you want to exercise so... vigorously and achieve the physique you have now?” she asked and I just shrugged.

“Several things really. I used to do small time body building back when I was in high school. I liked being healthy but I didn't really go to the extreme cause... well, I just didn't have the time really. But when I got zapped here, I didn't really have anything to do... or rather, I didn't want to do anything because... I dunno, this world... I just thought it was all so stupid,” I told her and she bit her lip.

“You thought it was stupid?” she asked and I nodded.

“Well, you have to know that I came from a very different world so this one was an extreme in the opposite direction. Everypony for the most part was kind, there's a whole bunch of beautiful scenery, the world is gentle and loving and filled with...” I trailed off and didn't bother continuing with all the differences in this world. “To me it was too much to take in so I just hid in Twilight's basement. Being a recluse at the time, I could think of nothing better than to exercise so... I did just that.” I thought back to it. I was so brash, arrogant and hotheaded back then and I sort of wish I could take it all back.

“What was your inspiration darling? To start I mean?” she asked and the answer was as simple as it got.

“Arnold Schwarzenegger,” I replied and she cocked a brow. “Back on my world he was... a legend...” I trailed off and smiled, putting on my best Arnie face. “Not every legend is a myth. Some are flesh an' blood. Some legends walk among us. But... dey aren't born, dey're built...” I trailed off, realizing I had forgotten the rest of his quote. Rarity was still looking at me with a puzzled look. “It's just a quote of his... I swear though, when I thought I was done... when I couldn't lift another weight cause I was so exhausted... if I just thought about that, that one quote... I could do at least on more set of whatever workout I was on. Arnold was... is my idol. Someone I aspire to be like. To rise from nearly nothing and become something... but... bah, it's a fading dream,” I replied. Opal purred and I looked to the empty dish where the cookies once lay.

I gave her an attentive rub. “Sorry buddy, all out,” I told the cat. She gave an annoyed 'Mow!' and hopped off my lap, walking over and cuddling into a posh little bed in the corner of the room. Rarity put her hooves across the table and held my hands.

“Darling, never give up on your dreams,” she told me. I just shrugged.

“It's not like I've just given up on them and now I'm just sitting on the couch at home. It's just... well, I started getting out in the world and my life gets pretty busy at times so... it's on hold,” I told her with a smile. She rubbed my hand.

“Well darling, I must say, for not having reached you dream just yet, you have a quite impressive build as it is,” she commented and I couldn't help but to blush.

“Thanks Rarity... it means a lot. How about you?” I asked and she looked to me with an estranged look. “What made you pursue a life of... fashion?” I asked and she shrugged.

“Oh nothing really... I always wanted to be a fashionista since I was little but it was when I was building dresses for the school play...” she trailed off into a somewhat detailed short story about how she was building dresses when she was younger. It ended with her horn somehow dragging her out to a rock that subsequently was filled with gems that she later used to put a real finesse on the dresses for the school play.

When she finished the story she turned slightly and showed me her flank. “And that is how I got my cutie mark,” she informed me. I blinked.

“Wow... that's clever. It's like something right out of a fairy tale... man Rarity, that's pretty awesome,” I told her and she smiled.

“Well... I prefer to think of it as classy. Awesome is more Rainbow Dash's thing.” I just sat there and smiled. She rose a brow and turned my hand over, taking a look at my palms. “Darling, have you ever had your version of a hoof pedicure?” she asked but I shook my head. Manicures weren't my thing as long nails tended to bend and break when living a lifestyle like mine.

“Uhh... no, it was never really my thing.” I withdrew my hand and rubbed them together attentively.

“Well perhaps darling, we should bring you to the spa for a proper treatment. It's only right considering you'll be a royal guest at The Grand Galloping Gala,” she mentioned. I was about to say something but she grabbed me off my feet and began pulling me along.

“Hey wait! My tea,” I called out but she disregarded my comment.

“Nonsense darling. There will be refreshments at the spa. Come, we must hurry. This is an emergency!” she chimed as I was pulled out the doorway, barely having time to sling on my boots. I was going to take the truck but she hurried us right past Cadence.

“You know... if you want we can just take- GAH!” I cut myself off as I ducked under a low street sign. “MY TRUCK!” I gasped as she pulled me around a corner, galloping along.

“It's alright darling. It's just around this corner,” she dragged me around another corner and to the front steps of a wacky looking building. It had pointed roofs and steep slopes that angled up again at the bottom. It looked like some crazy carnival tent actually.

Stepping in we both approached what I supposed was the receptionist area. There were two mares of near identical look. The major and obvious difference was their swapped color. One was pink with a light blue mane while the other was light blue with a pink mane.

'They must be twins,' my conscious spoke up and I nodded. Rarity stepped up and began to speak to them and that's when a second realization hit me. These mares were French... 'I wonder if they're Parisian?' my conscious again spoke up.

Rarity's voice cut into my thoughts. “Yes, he needs the works, full service. He's never been looked after by professionals and his skin is terribly worn,” Rarity told them. I frowned and looked to my skin, giving my forearm an attentive rub.

Sure my skin wasn't super smooth but it wasn't coarse like gravel either. I also noticed my forearm hair had grown out quite a fair bit. Not to the point that I couldn't see my skin underneath but it was getting thick. The pink one nodded.

“I'll take this one,” she said in a spookishly stereotypical French accent. She was so fluent I doubt she was putting on an act but... I mean stereotypes are funny but I didn't think I'd ever meet a true honest to goddess pony with a thick French accent like this.

With that she stepped forward. “Please, follow me.” She led me into another room and sat me down in a barber chair.

“I already had a haircut...” I said with uncertainty in my tone. I had no idea what spas did. She didn't directly answer my question and just nodded.

“Sssh... relax, you are in my care now,” she told me and I was still puzzled with her accent.

Leaning my head back, she dipped my hair into a basin full of... water I think. I wasn't quite sure about all this. Before I could say anything, she lay a lukewarm cloth over my eyes and forehead.

“Uhm...” I trailed off but again she hushed me. I heard the click of a button and some quiet musical note played. In the background of the music were birds chirping.

“Relax and be calm with yourself,” she said. With the damp cloth over my face, everything was dark. I fiddled with my hands and just lay there for... a while. Nothing really happened and from time to time a vision of a tropical jungle seemed to flow through my mind.

I didn't really notice but the pink spa pony was playing with my face, rubbing it with silky wet clothes. I thought to myself about spas in general. A sudden and horrendous thought came to mind as I remembered some of the mythology behind Asian nomenclature of spa.

In an instant I sat up with a gasp. “I DON'T DO ACUPUNCTURE!” I gasped wildly. She was taken back in shock as I was breathing heavily. I looked to her, breathing steadily with deep breaths. “Sorry... I uhh... I got caught up in... please, no needles,” I breathed in heavy huffs and she sighed, laying me back down.

“Yes, I understand. Though I was not going to use acupuncture anyway if that's any assurance,” she told me and I was yet again set in peace. Before long, she was lifting my head up and wrapping it in a towel. I went to touch it but she pulled my hand away.

“Please... leave the towel be,” she ordered as she led me to yet another room. We stopped in a more private area with a tub full of... mud? I hope it was mud. It didn't smell bad so I think it was mud.

She looked to me and I looked to her. There was a long silence. “Can you please remove your clothing?” she asked and I did as obliged, removing everything but my underwear and leaving a crumpled pile on top of my boots along with my necklace, watch and eye patch.

I kept my bad eye closed as to save her the horror of seeing it. I waited for a moment for further instructions. She hummed to herself in an amused way. “All of them, please,” she told me and I bit my lip.

“Uhm... uhh... all?” I asked hesitantly. She nodded and I looked around. “Why? Do I have to?” I asked and she sighed.

“We do not clean clothes,” she mentioned and that's when I realized I was probably gonna end up in that soupy brown stuff. I waited hesitantly.

“Uhm...” I began to tiptoe on the spot in an uncomfortable manner. She cocked a brow. “Well... I mean, can I get some privacy?” I asked.

“For what?” she asked. I looked to her with wide eyes then it hit me but at the same time she must have made a similar realization of sorts. “Oh I apologize. You must be one of the ones who like to where clothes at all times,” she said while I began to blurt out something of similar fashion. I paused for a moment then nodded.

“Uhh... yeah, something like that.” She nodded and put a hoof over her eyes.

“It is okay, undress and I will not peak,” she assured me. I slipped off my undies and covered my crotch with both hands.

“Uhm... okay what do I do now?” I asked and she took her hoof away from her eyes then led me to the side of the tub.

“Sit, relax. It will smooth your skin,” she informed me and I sat down in the... it was mud?! Well, not your typical run of the line mud. It was nice, smooth, runny mud but it was still just... mud! Again she put on nice relaxing music and went to leave. I called out to her.

"Uhh... can I have something to drink... please?" I asked and she nodded. Shortly thereafter she returned with a bottle filled with something. I looked at it. There was pulp of some kind. "Uhm... what is it?" I asked.

"Aloe vera water. Good for you," she replied and my face went pale.

"Aloe vera as in... like sunscreen?" I asked and she giggled.

"Mmm, no-no. Not Aloe vera cream, Aloe vera water. Natural and good for you. Tastes good too," she said. I shook the bottle and took a sip. Interestingly enough it did have a very good taste to it too. It was sweet but in a different kind of way. With that she left me to myself

I blinked and was completely dumbfounded. I set the bottle aside and began thinking about the mud bath instead. How the hell does mud smooth your skin? Maybe it cleans it and... oh I dunno. I began to flop my hands around in the mud in simple play. At first I was bored but then I realized if I was careful enough, I could draw pictures on the surface of the mud without it rippling and distorting the image. “Heehee... ah-haha...” I giggled to myself but just as I was starting to have fun, the pink spa pony returned.

I blinked for a moment and she motioned for me to step out. 'Ugh... and just when I found something amusing to do,' I thought to myself as I stepped out. She led me to another room where she washed me off before putting me in a bubbly spa pool.

I felt so uncomfortable when my private areas were exposed. As I sat down, she leaned in to whisper into my ear. “You do not have to be sooo... timid.” I blinked and looked to her. She walked around to the other side of the pool and sat on her rump, dipping the tips of her hooves in the water.

“Timid?” I asked and she nodded.

“It is okay. Ponies walk naked all the time,” she informed me and I sunk my head down so my nose was just barely above the water level. She giggled. “Have you never been naked around others?” she asked and I nodded. “So why so shy around me?” I lifted my head.

“Because you're not a football player and we're not in the football change room,” I mumbled. She laughed.

“Well... perhaps imagine I am a... ball player and we are in the change room together,” she offered.

“It's hard when I'm talking to a pink female pony like yourself and not a jockish human like me... no offense,” I told her. She smiled and swung her mane to one side.

“In that case then... would you mind if I join you?” She asked and before I could answer she took off her necklace and headband before stepping into the tub with me and taking a seat. “There... now we are both completely naked, no?” I had no idea how she thought that would make it any better.

I blinked in confusion. Wasn't she supposed to be... doing spa pony stuff? Not relaxing on the job... “Ahaha...” I chuckled and she rose a brow. “Oh nothing... just remembering back on the farm I used to work at,” I told her and she stayed silent, obviously to let me continue my story.

“I used to get tired at work, fourteen hours a day, no rest except a fifteen to half hour lunch break. So near the end of the day I'd get tired and want to take a nap before the final few hours so I'd sit down in a chair in the office and take a short nap... heh, the cats used to all huddle up in a ball on my chest as I leaned back. Sometimes I'd twitch and kick in my sleep but they wouldn't mind, they were just happy to be somewhere warm,” I informed her.

“Are you saying I remind you of yourself because you think I sleep on the job?” she asked but I shook my head.

“Nothing wrong with a bit of relaxation... huh, though it must be nice being a spa pony. You can just chill with you clients,” I said with a smirk and she sighed.

“If only it was that easy. We must always act professional around our clients,” she mentioned and I rose a brow.

“So how am I different?” I asked and she shrugged.

“You seem to be the type of pony who would be less concerned if I relaxed a bit around you,” she told me and I nodded.

“You read ponies pretty well... I think,” I replied and she smiled.

“Serving enough ponies over the years, one gets to know a pony's mood habit by their actions and choice of words... you seem laid back in life yet for some reason also troubled by many things,” she told me and I rose a brow.

“Wow... you are good. Anything else?” I asked and she nodded.

“I give a good back massage,” she said and we both laughed together. “So how about you? You... do competitions no?” she asked but I shook my head. “Hmm... I figured such a healthy physique, you would do competitions.” I shook my head.

“Maybe one day...” 'Legends are made from iron and sweat, mind and muscle, blood and vision... and victory. Legends are champions. Dey grow... Dey win... Dey conquer,' some more of Arnold's inspirational quote emerged itself in my thoughts. “Yeah... that'd be awesome,” I said, mostly to myself.

I began to screw around with the bubbles and play with them as the pink pony just laid back and relaxed, soaking her hair and rubbing her shoulders attentively. We spoke and chit chatted about useless things as we both sat in the tub. “Say... what's your name anyways?” I asked.

“Aloe,” she replied and I nodded.

“Nice name,” I replied.

“And yours?” she asked.

“Burdick... Evan Burdick. But yah can call me Burdy if yah fancy,” I told her and she rose a brow.

“Burdy?” she asked.

“Nickname back in football,” I replied. She nodded before promptly standing up, water dripping off her fur and mane.

“I do believe if we stay here much longer, your skin will begin to wrinkle,” she commented and I took notice that indeed my skin had pruned. She and I stepped out and I promptly wiped off the excess water and bubbles that still clung to my body.

She shook like a dog and her mane drooped to one side, straightened by the water. She tossed me a towel which I used to quickly dry off before tossing it over my shoulder. “You're not... shy about being naked around me?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Nah... it's a spa, and you're just relaxing at work so... it's like being in the change room,” I replied. She smiled as we went into another room. Inside was a flat looking table with a cover over it.

“When you're ready, lay face down” she offered and I quickly obliged. It wasn't the most comfortable thing ever but I quickly settled in and she began to rub and push her hooves against my back and shoulders.

At first it was weird but I slowly became accustomed to it. “Oooh... your body is so tight... so tense. You must be burdened constantly,” she mentioned but I shook my head.

“No... ahh... I get around... oooh... man that feels good,” I grunted and I heard her laugh.

“Good at back massage, no?” she giggled and I just let out a single chuckle. She rubbed at the sides of my ribs and down along my hips, even the backs of my legs. I quickly realized that my body felt loose and flexible.

She began up at my neck again and continued to massage me in all the right places in just the right way. I let out a comforted sigh. 'Man... I could get used to this,' I thought to myself. Only now did I realize she had that soothing jungle sound music playing.

There were scented candles that left a most peculiar lingering aroma. As she worked on my hips and buttocks region I realized something rather grave. I gulped deeply, hoping it was just the way I was lying. I thought about it for a second and gave it a flex then groaned inwardly.

I had a massive erection. “Oh shit...” I whispered to myself under my breath. Aloe continued her massage then stopped to speak.

“If you would please, turn over to your back,” she told me and I bit my lip.

“Uhm... I uhh... can I not?” I asked and there was a pause. I prayed to god she didn't look between my legs. There was no way she could miss it if she did. She leaned down and exhaled on the back of my neck, making me flinch slightly.

In the most hushed tone, she spoke right into my ear. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” she asked and my eyes went wide as I looked side to side. In my mind I puzzled together everything I could.

'Ugh... okay... hold on...' I thought to myself but she instead giggled and trailed her hoof up the inside of my leg, dangerously close to my erection as she spoke again. “Vous ne parlez pas français. Ooooh, trop mauvais,” she giggled as she stroked the insides of my thigh. My eyes darted, I needed to think fast before she realized it was there.

Before I knew it, my mouth was jabbering out words I didn't even know the meaning to. “Uhh... Je ne suis... pas très fatiguée,” I spat out and my eyes went wider. 'The fuck did I just say?' I thought to myself but my conscious returned with an answer. 'Don't worry about it.'

I looked to Aloe who had an absolutely mortified look on her face. “Y-y-you... speak français?” she asked in a stunned tone. I didn't even tell myself to react but my shoulders shrugged.

Using my right thumb and index finger, I motioned as if I was indicating something small. “Très peu... uhh, malheureusement.” The words came out without me even thinking. She was baffled even more than I was.

“I-I-I... I apologize.” She was shaking a little. I just rolled my eye. “I should not have...” she trailed off.

“I dunno what just happened but uhh... I guess maybe we could both forget it even happened at all?” I offered and she nodded.

“Please-please. I should not be so flirtatious, especially with my clients,” she spoke apologetically and I was still baffled. The hell just happened? Before I could think any further, my erection started to pulse a bit and a most primal instinct started to take over. I started getting a bit horny. I was turned over and my erection came into full view though she didn't seem to give it any notice as she began massaging me once again.

“Uh-oh,” I muttered and she continued. The scent in here... it was invigorating. The way she rubbed me... it was so... debilitating. As she continued the massage I felt tingly little feelings running down my body. I just wanted to... I clenched my eyes shut but her voice broke my concentration.

“But... on a completely different setting... do you find me attractive?” Aloe asked out of the blue. I gulped. Part of me was twitching and wanting to have sex, the other part of me wanted to end this all together and run away.

“Sss... fff... I...” I took a large, very audible, inhale. “Ugh... mpgh... uhm...” I gasped as I exhaled. It was so frustrating to keep my urges in check. 'The hell are you doing?! RUN!' My conscious spoke. Huh... funny, last time I was in this state of mind he was the horny one.

“Are you okay?” Aloe asked worriedly. “I haven't hurt you, have I?” she asked, her cute accent all the cuter now that I was the way I was.

I shook my head. “Ffffine,” I replied then bit my lip hard. The way she touched me was exhilarating but at the same time it made my heart thump and pump adrenaline through my veins as though I were doing something wrong and could get caught.

Eventually, finally, she ceased with her unbelievable massage. She leaned down to whisper to me again. “Rarity told me to give you the 'full' service... if you would like?” she asked and I exhaled deeply. How much more was there to give? Whatever was happening, I was ready to just get down with the closest mare and rut... dammit!

“Uhh... well gee... uhm... I mean,” my hands were shaking, clenched as I tried to control myself. “I feel pretty good as it is, you sure that wasn't the full service?” I asked stammeringly then remembered watching movies with spas. There was that room... “Say... you got a sauna?” I asked and she nodded. With that she stood me up and led me to another room, all the while I walked cross-legged to try and hide my distracting erection. There was a large wooden door with a small window to peak through. She opened the door and let me through. She gave me a nod and with that, left me to my much needed privacy.

It was steamy and muggy in this place. I flopped down on my ass and gulped deeply. I wouldn't usually resort to jerking off but this was just too much. “Oh man... what the hell happened?” I asked myself as I quickly started stroking myself. I jerked myself quickly in hopes to be rid of the cursed erection sooner rather than later.

One thing I didn't think about is that while I started beating off, my body temperature began to rise. Coupled with the already heated sauna, I quickly baked myself out. Sweat poured down my face, down my arms, down my legs and even between the crack of my arse.

My hands felt balmy and slick. After just minutes I realized this was an awful plan and a downright failure. Just as I was about to give up, the door to the room swung open and Rarity trotted in. I let out a shy gasp and tried my best to conceal my problem.

Rarity took little notice and closed the door behind herself, tossing her own towel to one side and standing across the room. “May I join you darling?” she asked and I prayed to goddess she didn't mean masturbating... or did I? FUCK!

“Uhh... uhh I-I-I... guess?” I stammered, heart still pounding in my chest. She stepped across and sat on the bench nearby, laying herself down in a most particular pose.

“Isn't the spa just wonderful darling?” she asked, partially rhetorically.

“Uhh, y-y-yeah it's pretty... something else... uhm, really good,” I blurted out, chest thumping. Dammit... what made me like this... was it the way Aloe was touching me? No... no it couldn't have been. I thought back...

'Uhh... those damn candles!' I thought to myself. Ever since I had come in, I had been enticed and invigorated by the scent they gave off. 'Must be like some kind of aphrodisiac.'

Rarity sighed as she stroked one of her hooves up her thigh. “Oh yes, I do so love the spa. The sisters really are something, are they not?” she asked. I had only met the one and she was a flirt. I wasn't sure I wanted to meet the other.

Rarity flopped to her back and cocked one of her legs in a certain, most inviting pose. With a sigh, she spoke. “Oh yes... I always feel a bit... hmm, loose and flexible, after I've seen them. Don't you agree?” she asked.

Truth be told, Aloe really had taken some kinks and knots out of my back, but at the price of my current state it wasn't worth it. I nodded. “Yeah, I feel pretty good,” I said, pivoting at my waist and swinging my upper body from side to side as though to stretch.

Rarity nodded. “Mmmhmm, I can see you enjoyed yourself,” she said with a smile. She stood up and trotted over. I gulped. The way she was walking... it was mezmorizing. “But... perhaps we could make this a trip you won't soon forget?” she offered as she gently put a hoof to my shoulder and pushed.

I let my body lower to my back and she held me down. “What do you say darling?” she asked as she bashed her eyes at me.

“Ffph... uhh... well...” my erection stiffened. “I think... kckk... it's been pretty memorable!” I gasped. My leg stiffened and tilted my body to one side. Rarity cocked an eyebrow.

“Well now darling... perhaps there's something... or somepony, in particular you would like to do before you leave?” she asked in a sultry tone. I cringed, trying to hold onto the last bits of control I had. In my efforts to control myself I accidentally poked her in the belly with my throbbing erection.

She rose a brow and looked down. “Oh... well what have we here?” she asked.

“Pffph! Accident!” I gasped through clenched teeth. She giggled with a blush.

“Darling, I hardly think that's an accident... but perhaps we could help each other with our similar problems. You see darling...” she trailed off and leaned in close, rubbing her fur against me in a most sensual way.

Putting her head beside mine, she whispered into my ear. “I'm very wet.”

'She's soaked! She just had a bath like you!' My conscious screamed at me to obey my better judgment. It would feel wrong to do this, I had no idea why but I knew it would. My face twisted as I tried to control myself. I probably looked like I had just had a stroke.

My imagination began to play with me, putting dirty thoughts into my head as my hands grasped her sides...

Author's Notes:

Yes indeed. Sorry for the wait but it's Burdy story time...

So I sometimes live in this house in town I have but this Korean neighbor of mine keeps parking in my laneway cause he thinks it's okay to do that. I've told him dozens of times to stop but I guess he thinks... I dunno, maybe it's funny to park in my laneway so that I can't fit my truck in my own laneway. Anyway about two weeks ago I was going to work at 6 or 7am and had to pick up some tools from my in-town house so I arrived, took a quick glance to make sure there was no pedestrians and began to back up. Now I was backing up slowly in 2wd and it had been snowing plus my lane way has a bit of a slope to it so when my truck came to a stop I thought maybe I needed more throttle so I kept giving more and more until my truck started backing up again. Once I had backed into my laneway I got out and got my tools. Of course... that's when I realized that I had completely totaled the back end of my neighbors Audi... he wouldn't even be able to open his gas cap it was so bad. Course all Cadence had was a clean mark in her rear bumper so I was like "Fuck it, he's not home (He goes to school in the morning), I gotta go to work" so I left and when I came back at around noon for lunch he was waiting for me, just foaming at the mouth he was so mad. So he was freaking out and screaming and whatever and I got a few pictures of it so he can't deny he was parked on my property... again, and just told him "Buddy listen, sorry this happened, it was an accident but I've told you time and time again... stop fucking parking on my property" but now he's really pissed and wants me to pay for his car... well whatever he can shit in one hand and wish in the other than tell me which one fills up first.
Hahaha, I'm such an ass. Anyway, hope you all had a Merry Christmas and jammy New Year