Derreck's perspective...

I put the finishing polish on the bolt. The rifle... Trillium, looked stunning. As stunning as a Mosin Nagant could. The rifle now had a finesse look about it.

With the final additions made, I set the rifle down on the stand in Evan's room. He had better take care of the rifle this time, or I'd tune him in some kinda good.

It was late... around nine thirty I think. I looked over and saw a couple sets of dumbbells. I curled my arm and flexed, then with my opposite hand felt my biceps. My lips smirked, my face wrinkling a little as I did. I felt a little older now for some reason. Ever since that Baltimare incident I looked fairly aged. Nothing too severe, save the gray hair along the sides, but I now looked like I was getting on in my years. Late thirties.

I walked over to the dumbbells and grabbed a pair of 180 pounders. They were heavy... really heavy. Each one weighed about as much as a full grown man. I set them down and stretched out really well before gripping one in each hand and began to curl them.

All I wanted was tension, blood coursing through my veins and a stiff feel. I stood around for half an hour, curling weights until I was satisfied. In the end I did more of an exercise than a warm up. My arms were tense and stiff. I felt strong, powerful and ready for anything... well, most anything.

I walked over to Evan's drawers and snagged a fresh shirt and pants. I needed a new pair, mine were pretty tattered. His shirts were a little small for me and clung to my frame with a snug feeling, revealing every curve of my torso region.

I was going to sneak out the basement window but had found in recent days that with my increased mass, I couldn't fit. I crept up the stairs and through the living room. Just as I reached the door, my ear twitched. I spun to see the dog sitting up with a wondering look.

“Just me, don't worry,” I replied and she rubbed her eyes with a yawn.

“Why are you...” she trailed off with a yawn before continuing. “Up so early?” she asked and I gave her a blunt answer.

“Just out for a stroll,” I stated, creeping over and giving her a scratch behind the ears. “Now... go back to sleep,” I told her and she laid back down, yawning once more before passing out.

'Some kinda guard dog she is,' I thought to myself as I left the building. I made my way to the side of Evan's truck... Cadence he called her. I cracked open one of the tool boxes and retrieved the SKS rifle... Applebloom, the hell kinda name was that. It was nice though. The rifle had a mirror shine from the lamination and the stock wood was finely crafted. Evan liked to call it walnut but... I think it was actually a type of birch wood.

I slipped some extra loaded stripper clips into my pockets before thumbing a full ten rounds into the magazine. The bottom of the magazine had a nasty hole in it, courtesy of Evan pulling the magazine plug from the rifle... twit.

I pulled back on the bolt and let it slam forwards on it's own, loading a round into the chamber. He called the bolt and carrier a receiver... don't know why. Using my middle finger, I flicked the safety on. The safety on these rifles were crude but amazingly effective. A little metal tab that swung behind the trigger to keep it from being set off.

I slung the rifle around my back as I shut the toolbox. I contemplated for a moment about also taking his handgun... heh, handgun... more like a handcannon. That thing exerted more force than an M16... about 300ft/lbs more force... and only 50ft/lbs less than the SKS on my back. Factory loads said they could produce 1800ft/lbs of force but with the regular 300g JHP Evan had, it usually only produced around 1600ft/lbs.

I heard a while back that a company called Magsafe made a bullet for the handgun that produced nearly 2155ft/lbs of force, nearly six hundred more than the regular cartridges... probably overloaded cartridges... or some kinda fancy bullet.

After giving it some thought, I left the handcannon. The gun weighed around four and a half pounds and was shinier than I'd like it to be. Besides the point, it was his gun. Probably wouldn't work for me.

I jogged my way to the Everfree, pacing my breath and making sure not to wear myself down just yet. As I reached the treeline, I felt shivers go down my back. Howls emitted from inside the jungle that lay ahead. Most of the sounds that followed sounded like nothing I had ever heard before, and I had done my fair share of traveling back on my home world.

I unslung the rifle and held it in both hands, trigger-finger just outside the trigger guard, safety now off. I hunched a bit and crept my way into the 'forest'. My boots squelched against the soft mucky terrain as I did my best to stay silent.

Not five feet into this place, I could feel an instant rise in temperature. It was muggy... humid... reminded me too much of tropical jungles in the third world countries. Sweat beaded down my face, streaming around my eye patch.

Without the use of my left eye, I had to be extra vigilant, my other senses needing to pick up the slack of my hindered vision. Though with that in mind, there wasn't much one could see when it was this dark.

The rifle brushed against foliage, again tropical. The creepy trees around me seemed as if they were moving in, enclosing me. No matter where I went, it seemed like I was walking in circles. I'd see the same trees over and over again, hideous faces made from the shadows staring me down.

Sounds creaked and croaked along with the sound of bugs and such. I stopped for a moment and my nostrils twitched as I inhaled deeply through my nose, sniffing the air. It reeked of Timberwolf but... there was something else.

My ear flickered and I listened but couldn't come up with anything solid, mostly just crickets and such.

I kept moving, sometimes using my left hand to brush away thick leaves the size of my torso that blocked my path. Some trees and foliage looked deformed, decrepit and easily like something from a nightmare.

Something rustled nearby, like small branches or underlying foliage. Slowly, and silently, I extended the bayonet on the rifle. I lined up the sights and readied my finger on the trigger, squeezing back to the sweet spot. All I had to do now was wait, then with the slightest bit of pressure on the trigger...

Foliage rustled about a few dozen yards away. I rested my cheek into the stock, lining up the sights with the movement. A moment past and a hare with horns leapt out. In my shock, I nearly jerked the trigger as I restrained myself from stumbling forwards in shock. I regained proper posture and slowly eased off the trigger. There was no need to reveal my location to nearby predators.

Just as I was lowering my rifle with a relaxed sigh, something rustled behind me. The hairs on my neck prickled and I rolled to one side just as a massive mass tackled the air in the spot I had been just seconds ago, swiping with sharp claws at nothing in an attempt to snag me.

I came to my feet in a crouch position but as I did, a scorpion tail swatted me and sent me tumbling away, rifle slipping from my hands. “Fuck!” I hissed as I found my feet and skidded to a stop.

I pivoted to face my aggressor. A massive manticore stood before me, tail swinging to and fro, ready to strike at me. It's wings gave a gentle flap, ready to take flight if needed. It had a wicked set of fangs but the bottom set protruded more and gleamed. I gritted my teeth.

“Nice under-bite... let's boogie!” I snarled. The creature roared and charged at me, lunging its tail for a deadly strike. I dodged the tail strike but not the initial tackle in which it pinned me to the ground, holding down my shoulders with massive paws.

As its mouth opened to chew my head off, my feet found traction on his underbelly and booted him off, sending him a few feet away and giving me enough time to flip my body backwards and to my feet.

The beast stepped side to side, licking its chops as it readied for another attack. It charged again. I charged at it as well and at the last possible second slid down as it leapt through the air. It plunged through the air and into a tree as I swept myself up and to my feet in a blissful manner.

The manticore was dazed from the impact, quickly shaking it's head from side to side. I brought my arms up in a boxer-esque stance. I flexed and tensed my body. This was about to get serious.

The creature lunged at me full force, I went to side step but was caught by its wildly swinging tail. The beast caught me hard, slamming my body to the ground with vicious impact. I grunted but quickly rolled to the side as the scorpion tail stabbed at my location.

I kept rolling as the tail kept stabbing. As I rolled I found strength and pushed up, launching myself a couple feet into the air, not much but enough to grab my footing and back flip to dodge the next tail stab.

I landed on my feet and wiped off my lip, rubbing away the dirty slim. “Okay...” I huffed. The beast leapt at me again but this time I flopped down and as it passed over me I booted my feet into its stomach and launched it further behind me. I rolled to my feet and faced it. “Come on... you can do better than that,” I taunted.

It stepped around, like a predator examining it's prey. Circling me, it grunted and snarled. “Yeah... nice tasty human steak... Mmmm, delicious,” I poked. With that it charged but slid to it's side unpredictably and swiped at me with viciously sharp claws.

The claws sliced me open, cutting across my chest and a bit of my stomach. I was sent hurtling through underbrush and into a slight opening by a mucky pond of some sort. I groaned as I stood up, my shirt falling to pieces around me. The deep gashes in my body sealed shut as my healing factor kicked in.

Strange thing really, the healing factor. One day in this crazy world I just suddenly... had it. The beast rummaged through the brush and into the opening. I clenched my fists and snarled. “That's enough outta you.”

I decided it was time to end this playing around. It lowered its front shoulders and approached me cautiously, it's tail waving about. I waited, still on the defensive... like I had been this whole fight.

Cocking its tail back, the manticore put force behind a curved swing that could probably shatter bones. I tensed and let the tail strike my side with savage force. My arms wrapped around its tail and I stayed with the swing, riding out the pain that ensued.

As the creature finished the swing, I planted my feet and with a vicious roar gave it a yank. The manticore briefly lost its footing but that was all I needed. With a powerful grunt, I exerted everything I had and began to drag it in circles, slowly building momentum.

As I pulled it along, the beast scrambled to gain traction. Soon enough the weight of the beast added to the momentum of the circular motions began to lift the beast off the ground. I began to simply pivot on my heels, swinging in complete 360 motions.

Finally we were twirling around in a blurred whirlpool of motion. As I lost my sense of coordination I released its tail and sent the beast hurtling away. Tumbling about, I found my balance then sturdied myself, just in time to see the beast spread its wings and take flight. “Damn,” I muttered.

It came back down to the ground and clawed dirt up several times, like a bull ready to charge. I spit to the side and smirked. “Okay... show me what yah got,” I stated aloud. Like a wild caged animal, it howled loudly and rampaged towards me, shredding up dirt behind itself.

As it neared me, it went to slide swipe me again. I rolled underneath its mighty swing, tucking my large frame into a smaller target. As the swipe missed, I pushed myself off the ground, into the air and cocked back my right leg.

With a powerful kick, I drove the point of my boot into the side of its head. Using momentum gained from the impact of my strike, I pushed myself further into the air and twirled my body in a 360 motion. I cocked my left leg and let it curve into a strike that drove the heel of my left foot into the back of the creature's head, right were the spine meets the skull.

I fell forwards after that and to the ground but landed in a roll, quickly spinning myself into a crouch form to meet a possible retaliation. I huffed slightly at the sight of the fallen manitcore. He wasn't dead, far from it. I hadn't put lethal force behind my strike. I could if I had wanted to, but...

The beast tried to stand up but just ended up flopping back down to its belly with a whine. I walked over and it groaned at me. “You cut me open...” I replied as it tried once more to stand up. I slid my body underneath its belly and propped it up to all fours. After a moment, I stepped out from underneath the creature.

A few months back I had been exploring and was attacked by a manticore. It only took a single shot to take it down and the fight was over in seconds. Didn't take long to realize it had a cub. Not too strange there wasn't a father around, kinda like the lions back home. Mother raises the cubs and the father... well, they just breed and that's their part of the whole thing.

In the end... I dunno, I felt obliged, as if it was something I was supposed to do, to take the manticore under my protection. Didn't mean I was easy on it. I didn't come by every night, but I would generally bring it fish, or something along those lines, until it was ready to hunt for itself.

As it grew bigger, which was a simple matter of weeks, I taught it how to fight... rather viciously too. At least it had a natural sense of killing and wasn't a wimp. Since then it was a two way thing when we fought. I trained it to be better and it kept me at my best, even training me how to combat against mythical creatures like itself with my bare hands.

It nestled its head into my chest and purred, trying to suck up. I gave it a backhanded swat to the cheek in which it whimpered. “No! You didn't get the killing strike. No treat,” I replied sternly. Technically it had gotten me pretty good once, but the cuts weren't deep enough to be instantly fatal. I sniffed the air. A horrid stench made my nose twitch.

“You do that?” I asked but the manticore looked to me, shaking its head quickly. I was going to ask a second question, or maybe make a comment, but a splashing sound behind me caught my attention.

I spun on my heels only to find a hideous lizard... or serpent of some kind rising from the swampy marsh. It had a long neck with a crazy snake like head. My shoulders dropped as I looked at the beast with awe.

“Oh shit...” I muttered in a deep tone. With a loud screech it swung its head back then... breathed at me? Its breath had a horrid stench that nearly gagged me. At first I was stunned, but then I was disoriented and sick to my stomach. Feeling weak and feeble, I could barely keep my footing.

With a terrifying screech, the beast emerged from the swamp. It was big... huge... massive. With another screech, it shook its body to and fro, gaining momentum in its tail before hammering me several dozen yards with a tail swipe powerful enough to shatter every bone in my body.

I tumbled and hurtled across the unforgiving dirt and muck. As my body finally stopped, I lay face down, still weak from whatever had happened when it breathed on me. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled and my senses struck full alert.

My pupils sharpened and I felt every reflex return to my control. I pushed down hard and flung myself out of harm's way as the beast slammed its sharp lizard nose into the ground. Rolling to my feet, I looked at the beast.

It was a truly terrifying sight to behold. Clenching my right fist, I let out a pained howl. “Haaaaaaa!” I felt bones in my arm start to move while my wrist bones separated with agonizing pain. “GAAARRHHHH!” I roared out. The skin between my knuckles split open and a shew of blood sprang out, along with three razor sharp, foot long claws.

My vision focused all my attention on the beast, everything else fogged out. I swung my arm back and charged forwards with vicious intent. My speed kept gaining and gaining until I as finally within range of the creature's neck.

I crouched low, arm swung back, then pounced forwards and gave an uppercut swing. My bone claws sliced right through its flesh and perfectly decapitated the beast with just the one cut.

The creature's body slumped and collapsed while its head rolled away. I was slightly shocked to say the least. I half expected a bit more of a challenge from something so horrifying. Maybe tougher skin... something... anything.

“Huh... well... that was a letdown” I trailed off in slight disappointment. I turned around to the manticore and shrugged. “You were more of a figh-” I was cut off by some squelching noises behind me. Turning ever so slowly, I looked back to the beast.

Slime and goo seeped from its neck as two forms slowly grew out from the stumped neck. My eyes went wide. “Not good,” I muttered. After a few seconds, I was faced by the same beast I had just slain... except it now had two heads.

I began to back up then found myself pressed into the manticore, who was frozen in fear. “Run... now!” I hissed and the manticore didn't need to be told twice. It rushed off into the forest. It may be a monster of sorts, but he was still young.

I turned back to the... whatever it was. Both heads sucked back, bringing in air before pecking their heads forward with their mouths open. Streams of fire projected and hosed the area.

I leapt to one side then jumped over a barrier of fire the beast had created. Spinning to face the beast, I clenched both hands. “Haaaa-” Its tail slapped me hard. Not as hard as the first time but still with enough force that I was tossed through the air.

My back side slammed into a thick tree trunk but even so my body was smashed right through the tree. The top part of the tree collapsed towards the creature and I figured I might get lucky and it would be crushed. Instead, one of the heads grabbed it with razor sharp teeth and chomped the tree into bits.

“Ohhhh shit,” I whispered. The trees nearby had been set ablaze and I prayed it didn't spark into wildfire... at the moment though, that was the least of my problems. “It spits fire... its heads regrow...” I thought back to when it breathed on me. “Its breath is toxic... fuck,” I swore.

“I take it back... I'd have rather it died easily,” I whispered to myself as I stood up, groaning and sore. I held my right hand to my left elbow and my left hand to my right shoulder. With a grunt of pain, I relocated my shoulder into its proper spot as other bones in my body clicked back together.

Cocking both arms to my side, I let out an angered roar as I felt my strength skyrocket. Claws now extended from both hands, blood seeped from the cuts in my knuckles they had made.

I felt my back arch a bit and lock into place. My senses gained a new height in perception and everything else except what was important seemed to zone out. 'How do I kill this thing?' I wondered.

'Its head regrows from the stump... not just its head, two heads...' I thought. The smell of burning pitch caught my nose. I twitched a bit as I looked over to the burning wreck of trees. My eyes looked side to side as I thought to myself.

The beast was done screwing around and was scurrying towards me, hissing and screeching from both heads. The tail whipped at me again. I let out a powerful roar as my body tensed and readied itself for the impact.

The tail slammed into my side and I wrapped my arms around it. The force was still substantial but I held tight, feet firmly planted in the ground. The tail's force pushed me across the ground, my feet digging a trench as I was pushed along until finally the beast had no momentum left.

Still holding the tail with my left hand, I used my right bone claws to slash several times at the tail. Hacks of meat were chopped off, and slimy blood spewed out as I slashed its tail clean off.

Pulling back, the beast screeched and howled, namely in pain but also in anger. I stepped back, not sure what to expect. However, in the end I was relieved to find that unlike its heads, the tail did not grow back in doubles.

I had one plan, maybe two if I could draw enough strength for it... but for now, just one plan. As the beast frolicked in pain from its lost tail, I rushed over and grabbed a large branch that had been set ablaze.

The claws in my left hand retracted while I held the branch in said hand. “I really hope this works,” I prayed, rushing forwards while letting out a war cry. The beast turned its attention back to me. I felt every muscle in my body tense and grow stronger. Crouching low, I pounced with everything I had, leaping through the air while swinging back my claws. The beast stared at me as it went to retaliate, but it was too late... I hoped.

I slashed hard, decapitating the head completely. As I flew past its stumped neck, I twirled my body mid-flight then drove my claws into its back, digging in deep and getting a grip on the beast. The beast screeched out in pain and whipped its remaining head from side to side. With the burning branch in one hand, I ascended the beast, which now howled in complete agony as I crawled up its back with my claws.

Reaching the neck stump, I drove the burning branch into its neck. The wound was cauterized painfully. With an angry screech, the beast swung its remaining head and swatted me to the ground.

I was slammed into the hard dirt rather painfully, and with that, let out a groan as my eye closed. Before I could react, one of its sharp claws slammed into my chest and pinned me to the ground, threatening to crush me into pulp.

I let out a pained grunt, which drained the oxygen from my lungs. The sides of my vision grew pale and red, blood lines seeping into my vision. 'Really wish it had died pathetically,' I thought silently in what would seem to by my dying moments.

The pressure was suddenly alleviated as the beast removed its claws from my body. At first I didn't understand until I saw it swatting at the manticore which flew wildly through the air.

My ally stabbed with its scorpion tail, possibly injecting potent neurotoxins into the the other creature. At first glance it looked like a partially even match up, but within seconds the lizard serpent swatted my frie... hmm, my ally, to the ground with brutal force.

The serpent went for the killing blow. My anger, rage and fury all boiled over. I propelled myself up and held my left arm straight out, palm open. Arm tense, a ball of energy was quickly formed and launched at the lizard.

The rather weak energy blast struck its mark, hitting it in the head and gaining its attention. Claws retracted, I motioned with my middle finger for it to come over. “Yeah... I wasn't done with you just yet. I still want my money's worth,” I challenged.

My whole body flexed, muscles expanding to new levels. Veins protruded from underneath my skin, making themselves highly noticeable. I let out an empowering roar as an aura of red static electricity surrounded me.

My eye sharpened, everything in my vision turned to a darker hue and was coated in red. The powerful surges of energy pushed against the ground around me, the ground shaking slightly. The power emitted from my aura blew off my eye patch, revealing my damaged eye that now cleared. My pupil slanted perfectly vertical while the rest of my eye was shaded dark red.

Both sets of claws extended and were coated in an equally ominous flaming red aura. I looked at the serpent beast, fury burning from within. “It's time to fall... and at your height, it's gonna hurt when you hit the ground,” I snarled.

Crouching back, I cocked my right arm for a heavy swing. With incredible power, I pushed off the ground and flew straight through the air with perfect precision and speed.

In a blinding flash of motion, my claws sliced off its remaining head. I landed in a roll and rushed over to the burning brush. Grabbing a new burning branch I turned back to the beast which stumbled about headless.

I only had a matter of seconds but that was more than enough. Charging across the ground, I leapt through the air once more for a final killing strike. I landed, feet digging in while I drove the burning branch into its remaining stumped neck.

The beast squirmed and thrashed while I cut off its only source of life. Leaping back, I back flipped through the air and landed on the ground behind it. Grabbing one of its claw feet, or whatever they'd be called, I let out one final roar of strength as I began to twirl our bodies in circles.

In moments, our bodies were spinning in a spiraling blur. With that, I released the dying creature, sending it hurtling skywards. I clenched my fists and flexed, yelling out loudly in primal anger. The powerful aura that coated my body became jagged and pushed energy outwards. Stepping my left foot forwards, my right foot back, my hands cupped at my right side. I grunted while my body tensed.

“Let's see if I can pull this off!” I roared out in a rumbling tone. I felt a vibration in my palms, followed by a source of heat. A dark red light illuminated, shooting beams of dark red light through my fingers. A large shiny red aura of energy built up while the ground beneath me began to shake a bit more violently.

Still roaring, my echo became louder as I swung my hands forwards, still cupped and my right foot stepped forwards with my body's motion. The backlash from the blast was so powerful it drove my feet down into the ground while blasting away everything behind me, creating a wide trench.

A massive beam of energy shot out and nearly blew my arms back. Ripples ran down my arms as the blast was continuously emitted, launching into the air and vaporizing the creature. After a mere few seconds the energy dispersed and sparkled away into the air, the powerful energy blast now just a sparkling mist.

I was breathing heavily, the electric aura fading quickly. Smoke steamed off my body as I felt myself start to shrink back to my regular size. My arms dropped to my sides as my eye returned to its normal damaged state, blurring my vision once more.

Fumes of smoke poured out from the crater behind me. I fell to my knees, huffing deeply. The manticore returned to my side shortly thereafter, with both my eye patch and my rifle, the latter being held in its mouth by the sling as to not scratch the finish... just like I taught him.

It nestled into me which accidentally knocked me over. I was wiped... exhausted. “Wow... I'll have to research that creature later,” I whispered, barely even audible to myself. I looked to the manticore then reached into my pants which, like most of my clothes at this point, were really tattered.

I rooted out a fish from my pocket. It was kinda smushed. “Here,” I groaned. “I think you earned this,” I told the beast. Very gently, and graciously, the manticore took the treat. Savoring every bit of taste, the manticore took several seconds to eat it, rather than just downing it with one go.

I flopped onto my back and let out a sigh, smoke still rolling off me. I'd have to train like this more often, it was so fulfilling. But as of right now...

I rolled onto my side and held myself there while looking to the manticore. Slinging my rifle to my back, I also slid my eye patch back on before speaking. “I think... I need... a ride home,” I groaned. The manticore nudged its head under my body and tossed me onto its back before taking flight. 'Oh boy... whatta night...'

Evan's perspective...

I awoke rather drowsily and slowly sat up. I quickly realized I was no longer on the couch in the living room but rather on my bed in the basement. I sat for a good while, just stroking my face and yawning.

I didn't feel sore but my body felt... exhausted. As I sat there I ended up looking from place to place. I made note that at some point in the day I'd need to do some form of workout if I wanted to keep my form.

As I looked around, I spotted something that made my heart skip. I stood up and realized I was no longer wearing pants. I slipped on my eye patch and holy necklace then stepped over to my dresser and put on a pair of jeans along with a white t-shirt and socks.

Walking over to the table nearby, I kept wondering if this was some sort of... dream. Stepping up to the table, I stared blankly at it. There was a note hanging of her by a string. 'Take care of her this time, or I'll beat you senseless!'

I set the note aside and picked up Trillium, the Mosin Nagant PU sniper rifle. My heart fluttered as I went lightheaded. This... was crazy. He had polished all the bushings and barrel bands along with the bolt action to a mirror polished shine.

I racked the bolt. It was butter smooth, almost nicer than a Lee-Enfield... almost. I gently squeezed the trigger. It had a crisp feel and had a dangerously light trigger pull. The stock had obviously been sanded down and refurbished. It was so smooth but...

The whole stock had been painted jet black. All the markings on the rifle had been painted with white silicone or something of the like. I huffed deep breaths then slowly tried to wiggle the fore end stock piece. It wouldn't budge. It was right tight.

I slowly, and very cautiously, took the rifle apart. Derreck had completely refurbished the rifle. The inside of the stock had been bedded with what looked like some kind of epoxy. The rifle now sat perfectly stiff and wouldn't jiggle inside the stock when fired. The entire stock system had been bedded perfectly.

“Oh man... wow,” I whispered to myself. Lassie's voice spoke up and scared the hell outta me.

“WOAH! That looks wicked!” she chimed. I flinched then carefully set the rifle down. “I've never seen that one before!” Lassie said as she stepped up and looked at the rifle.

“I think you've seen it before... Derreck just... he just... customized the rifle,” I said, still in untter disbelief. Lassie blinked then looked to me.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked and I looked to her, confusion in my eye.

“Uh... uhm... yeah, why wouldn't I be?” I asked curiously.

“Well, cause you were passed out and pale all yesterday so... we decided to let you rest the whole day but... well you were still on the couch then but now you're down here,”she mentioned. I just blinked.

“Wait... as in... yesterday like when I got my tooth pulled?” I asked but she shook her head.

“No, that was the day before yesterday.” I stood in awe.

“Shit... today's Twilight's birthday,” I muttered and Lassie shrugged.

“So?” she replied casually.

“Sooo,” I started, “I still haven't gotten her anything!” She just snickered.

“Pfft, so? She said herself she didn't really want anything from you, just for you to be here for her birthday,” Lassie replied and I groaned.

“Yes I know but I'm sure I could've gotten her something.” I groaned and flopped my head into my hands. “Ugh... I've failed as a son... again,” I replied but Lassie just patted me on the back... quite hard too.

“Oh don't be so hard on yourself. It'll be fine, really.” I just groaned. She hit me on the back again, equally as hard as before. “Now come on, we need your help upstairs setting up,” Lassie informed. I rose a brow. With a scoff she dragged me upstairs.

When we got up there, I saw Twilight's main selection of friends. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. There were also a few others; the three fillies known as The Cutie Mark Crusaders and a small selection of other ponies.

However, despite all the ponies, Twilight was nowhere to be seen. “Where's Twilight?” I asked, and Pinkie zoomed over.

“Isenthertogogetsomesodathenhadthecashierholdherupwhilewepreparedtheparty!” she blurted out then zoomed off. I just blinked while Rarity stepped up beside me.

“Darling, what she meant to say was we created a distraction for her in town,” she fluttered her eyes at me and I just nodded. “So how are you doing darling? I heard you've been terribly ill lately. I offered my help but Twilight insisted that you would recover on your own,” she said but I just shrugged.

“Nah, it was nothing. Just had a tooth pulled. Been chillin' like a villain, yah know?” I replied but was answered by a most regal voice.

“I do not believe villains just... chill,” everyone went a little silent and I turned around to find Celestia standing behind me.

“Eh Tia, what's shakin?” I said rather casually. There were several gasps in the crowd as everything went dead quiet. She rose an eyebrow with a somewhat cross face. “What?...” I trailed off and looked around. “Ohhhh! Yeaaahhh... Princess Tia, what's happenin?” I replied, equally as casual as before.

Everything stayed quiet and Celestia spoke. “Is that how you greet royalty?” she asked but I just shrugged.

“Dunno... Twilight's royalty but she prefers I address her like so,” I replied and the faintest smile crept across Celestia's face before she nodded and spoke in a stern tone again.

“Indeed. Perhaps I will have to assist Twilight Sparkle in her teachings of how one is to address royalty,” she said before stepping away to go speak with others. I didn't know whether she was being a bitch or...

Rarity pulled me down to her level. “How could you possibly address her like that?! Princess Celestia of all ponies?!” she whispered and I just shrugged. “She could've thrown you away to rot in a prison cell for the rest of eternity!” Again, I just shrugged. Her face gave a look that made her look flustered along with a heavy blush on her cheeks. “Oohhh darling...” she whispered as she leaned towards me, eyes fluttering shut. “You're so daring and courageous. Why couldn't we have met earlie-” she was cut off by Pinkie screaming.

“SHE'S COMING! HIDE!” The lights went off while a pair of hooves yanked me away. Applejack spoke up.

“Come on, this way,” she said in her classic southern accent. She pulled me down behind a couch. “Yah gotta stay away from that gal, at least fer a little while,” she informed me and I cocked a brow.

“Ah do?” I replied and she just exhaled then nodded.

“Yeah, yah do,” she stated then put a hoof over my mouth. “Now hush. Wait till Twilight comes in then jump up an yell surprise,” she informed me. There was a dead silence. It was so nerve racking and it wasn't even suspenseful yet in a way it was.

We all waited... and waited... and waited. 'Jeez... how long does it take to open a friggin door?' I wondered but as I was thinking that, the door swung open. Everypony jumped up, confetti spewed from Pinkie's cannon while everypony screamed out 'SURPRISE!'

Twilight nearly jumped out of her fur. For the briefest moment I thought for sure her eyes bugged out of her head. She settled in seconds just before Pinkie rushed up. “Did we get you?! We got you didn't we?! WE SURPRISED HER EVERYPONY!” Pinkie screamed out ecstatically.

I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. Ponies moved up to wish her a happy birthday and such. I stood up and smiled. Twilight looked so happy. Seeing her friends... and family too. Her father, mother, brother and sister in law were all here.

After most of the ponies had wished her well and had started to mingle, I moved through the crowd. Grabbing her from behind, she let out a yelp while I picked her up, held her tight and gave her a kiss to the cheek. “Happy birthday, mom!”

After a second of hugging her, I set her back down. She had been talking to her father, mother, brother and sister in law, whom all looked to me with raised brows. “Howdy,” I greeted them.

Twilight brushed back her mane. “You all remember Evan, right?” she asked, formally greeting us... again. The only one to step up was her brother, Shiny I think his name was.

“Shining Armor,” he greeted and I shook his hoof. My conscious spoke up.

'Twilight's brother right?' my conscious asked and I nodded inwardly. 'So his name would be... Shining Sparkle?' he asked and I snickered briefly to which they all looked at me.

“Sorry,” I apologized as I withdrew my hand and rubbed my nose. “My nose was tickly,” I lied fluently.

I looked to the parents. “Grandpa, Grandma,” I greeted with a nod and they both just buried their faces into one of their own front hooves. Taking away their hooves, they looked to me with smiles.

“How have you been lately, Evan?” grandpa asked.

I shrugged. “Meh... off and on, you kno-” I was cut off by a scream, followed by the sound of liquid splashing on the ground. Everypony looked over and we saw a mare backed into a wall, a table knocked over, punch and treats all of the floor and Lassie just standing there.

“Well, a simple 'No' would've been fine too. No need to be rude about it,” she said and everypony gasped. I groaned then rushed up. Stepping beside Lassie, I called out.

“Don't worry everypony...” I called out then trailed off. With a deep exhale, I continued. “This... is Lassie. She's the family dog... she can-” I was cut off by the screaming mare.

“SHE CAN TALK!” She yelped and I nodded.

“Yes... as you all probably know by now... she can talk. It's nothing to worry about,” I replied.

My conscious spoke up. 'Jeez, you'd think for a world of talking, technicolor ponies with magic, a talking dog would be the least baffling thing.' I just nodded and within seconds ponies returned to mingling.

I turned to the mess but found that Pinkie and Lassie were battling to clean it up... with their tongues no less. I looked around and saw Fluttershy. Quickly making my way over to her, I approached her timidly, knowing how shy she was. In the quietest voice I could manage, I spoke up. “Hey... Flutters... ahem... hi,” I greeted, not mocking her but making sure I didn't come off as terrifying, or at least doing my best at it.

She looked to me and leaned lower. “Relax,” I said quietly as I sat down on my knees, getting to eye level with her.

“Oh... uhm... I really should be... uhm,” she stammered.

“Flutters I... ugh... ohh... I know, I'm horrifying. It's terrible,” I muttered. “I just wanted to thank you.” She stood there for a moment, ears perked up. She straightened herself up.

“T-t-th-thank me... f-f-fo-or what? Oh, if you don't mind me asking?” She asked. I looked over to Lassie, whom was having the time of her life with Pinkie.

“For Lassie... for everything. I'm sorry about how we met, if I could, I'd take it back,” I apologized, remembering how I had put her at gunpoint when I thought she was a home invader... all those months ago. It felt like just yesterday.

She nodded with a sincere smile. “Thank you. I'm sorry you thought I was a home invader. I would never ever steal ever. And I'm happy you like your dog,” she said, smiling brightly. I held out my hand.

“I think we already are but... friends?” I asked. She nodded and shook my hand.

“Of course,” she said. I just sat there, holding her hoof in a shake while she stood there, smiling back. Before either of us could say anything, Rainbow Dash called over.

“Hey Fluttershy, come over here! Look at this!” she laughed. I looked over and saw Pinkie's pet alligator and Rainbow Dash's pet tortoise rolling around on the ground together. I sat there but was suddenly tackled from behind.

Gray hooves wrapped around me, followed by a bubbly voice. “Evan!” Derpy cried out happily. I chuckled to myself as I stood up, her still clinging to my back and hugging me tightly.

“Hey Derpy. How's it going?” I asked, picking her off my back and bringing her into a proper hug. She snuggled in tight.

“I'm good. How have you been?” she asked and I didn't really answer.

“So, still delivering papers?” I asked and she nodded.

“I read in the newspaper you were really hurt badly. Lots of broken bones,” she said and I nodded.

“It's okay. I'm fine. You don't gotta worry about me, promise,” I said and she turned around, tail raised. I turned around too and we bumped flanks. “Tail twist swear,” I replied. We turned back around and I smiled. She was so nice, cute and innocent. “So Derpy, how've yah been?” I asked and she gave a 'so-so' look.

“I've been alright. Nothing special, nothing bad. How about you?” she asked and I just shrugged.

“A bit of both,” I said. Looking to my mother, I saw how happy she was, talking with friends, hugging her family... partying with Pinkie.

Derpy spoke up. “I'd like it if we could play together some time. You're really fun!” she chimed as I turned back to look at her. I went to say yes but a voice broke in.

“My sincere apologies but... may I speak with Evan?” asked a voice from before. Derpy took a bow but slipped a little. I swung down and caught her body, then helped her back up.

“Gotcha,” I said with a bright smile. I gave her a hug and nodded. “Sure, we'll have to hang out sometime soon, go on a muffin adventure or something,” I told her and she nodded before turning to leave.

I myself turned to face Celestia. “Alright... what's going down?” I asked and she blinked blankly.

“Well... nothing is going down but I do need to speak with you,” she informed. I waited for her to speak but instead, she turned around and began walking to the upstairs staircase. “In private,” she added in.

I tossed my hands up a bit with a roll of my eye and she spoke up again. “I saw that.” I followed her up the staircase and found she wasn't really leading me upstairs so much as to the outside balcony.

“You seem to lack respect when it comes to authority and royalty,” she mentioned. I twitched my lip.

“Dunno... ah guess. If yah say so,” I commented. I saw a faint smirk reach her lips before it quickly faded into that stern look again.

“That is precisely what I mean. Most of my subjects would have been more submissive. You are more transparent, honest and blunt with your actions towards myself,” she said calmly and I just shrugged.

We reached the balcony and she locked the doors behind us. Though I wasn't sure why she did as any pegasus could easily just fly up and see us. She hopped her forelegs up on the railing while I just leaned against it.

She let out a sigh. “It has been sometime since I could just...” she kicked off her royal shoes and set her crown aside. “Be myself. Ponies always address me so highly and they will never be themselves around me. Even my sister always takes me seriously, never accepting my offers to play around and instead taking it as some kind of test. She won't do anything anymore. Make a mess, disarrange the library books, mismatch the armor suits in the hallways, pull pranks on the guards... anything.” She sounded so... depressed.

“Oh... uhm... I'm sorry to hear that. Man... it must suck to be a princess,” I stated and she laughed.

“Well... I will be honest. There are times I wish I could just... run away and never return.” She looked to the sky, a tear strolling down her cheek. “But alas, my subjects rely upon me.”

I just nodded and looked into the distance. “Kinda held down huh?” I replied and she nodded.

“Yes... and sometimes, even when I ask one of my loyalest of subjects to come and... just relax with me, they take it all too seriously and are still in proper manner of respect.” She drooped her head with a sigh.

I twittled my fingers. “Man... that sucks. I'd lose my mind. I've already got gray hair,” I replied as I stroked my hairdo. I sighed as I realized something. “That's also starting to recede.” It wasn't much but I noticed that my hairline was an inch or so back from what it usually was. I looked to her. “You've either got magical hair that won't die or you're really good at keeping stress away,” I chuckled.

She smiled. “And then there is you,” she said, turning to me with a bright smile as if she hadn't heard a word I said. “You are so... relaxed. At home with yourself, even though I could have you thrown in prison for disrespecting me,” she commented and I rose a brow.

“Yeah... but you're not going to...” I trailed off. “Sorry, if I... disrespected, you. I didn't mean to-” she cut me off.

“I didn't mean you disrespected me as much as you disrespected my authority,” she said then nudged me with her rump. “Thanks,” she thanked me in a hushed tone and I rose a brow.

“For... disrespecting your authority?” I asked and she gave a nod.

“Not entirely. I do wish for you to understand my authority over you but... thank you for just... being yourself around me. It makes me feel... accepted and not simply feared,” she mentioned.

I shrugged then gave her a wink. “Dammit!” I muttered and she cocked her head to the side.

“I'm sorry, did I do something?” she asked but I shook my head.

“Nah, I tried to give you a wink but... yah know,” I said, pointing to my eye patch. She nodded.

“If you wish, I could fix it with magic,” she offered but I immediately shook my head.

“Nah... I would on different circumstances but... it reminds me that I'll go to the extreme for others, even at my own personal expense,” I replied and she smiled before turning to look out to the world.

“It was a heroic thing what you did, if what Discord says is true,” she said but I shook my head.

“Nah... not heroic. Just the right thing,” I replied, brushing away the appraise. “But thanks fer mentioning it,” I gave her a nudge back. We both stood there, leaning on the railing and looking out to the horizon.

“It's strange really,” she said, no longer using a regal tone but a calm and gentle tone. “How far you've come along.” I tilted my upper half so I could look at her with a wondering look.

“Come along?” I asked and she nodded.

“I wasn't sure what to expect really. At first glance I thought you to perhaps be another villain. At second thought I figured perhaps you were... not so much evil as you were angry, confused and afraid,” she mentioned and I nodded.

“Helluva thing to be told you'll never be able to go home. Crushing,” I said and she nodded.

“It's partially why I enlisted Twilight to teach you. She does so well when it comes to friendship,” she mentioned and I nodded as she continued. “And yet, even so, for the longest time you showed not a single care for anything. A little bit for her and Spike due to the fact you consider them family, but otherwise...” she trailed off and let me finish.

“I could've cared less what happened to this world,” I said in a deep tone.

“But now...” she trailed off yet again.

“I'd give it my all. Even if it destroyed every little piece of me. I'd die for this world and then some,” I admitted.

“Strange isn't it? How just a little bit of love and compassion can completely change a pony,” she stated and I nodded. A lone tear trickled down her cheek. “It has been a while since I could really express myself to a friend,” she whispered. I rose an eyebrow.

“You... consider me a... friend?” I asked and she looked to me with a teary smile.

“What else am I to refer to you as? You are definitely not an enemy,” she explained and I nodded in return.

“Fair enough,” I replied. Truth be told, I wasn't going to mind having another friend it's just... well, I figured us to be more like acquaintances then friends. She smiled with a devious look.

“Would you be into doing something... inappropriate?” she asked and I looked to her with a risen brow, a slight smirk on my face as well.

“Depends... what kind of inappropriate?”

Third person...

Rarity stepped up to a table filled with assortments of treats. She looked and saw a new cake that hadn't been there before. Very graciously, she levitated out a knife and with great finesse, sliced a thin little piece of cake out for herself. As she placed the slice of cake on her plate, she screamed in horror, dropping the cake to the floor. There were bugs inside the cake.

Ponies looked to her with curiosity but before she could say a thing, she realized they were just candy bugs. She let out a relieved sigh.

Elsewhere, Pinkie pulled up a fruit salad and looked at the sugar shaker. With a bright smile, she grabbed it and gave it a little tip to sprinkle some sugar. Instead, the lid came straight off and the entirety of the contents poured out. Pinkie blinked, looking at the mound of of sugar atop the fruit salad then just shrugged and bounced away with her salad in hoof.

In a particular corner, lay a rather large pink cardboard box... one large enough for two. Giggles emitted from the inside before the box lifted slightly then made off inconspicuously. A set of two legs, followed by four hooves walked along in secret, unnoticed to the party community.

Celestia spoke up in a quiet voice. “This is perfect. How'd you think of this?”

“Game,” the man replied as they came to a stop. Nearby stood two royal pegasus guards. “You sure about this one? It's pretty bad,” Burdy whispered but Celestia just nodded.

“It's not as bad as it is mischievous. Come on, it'll be fun. Nopony will know,” she assured him. Very slowly, the box tipped up and Evan snuck out, crouching along and being very secretive.

Celestia had suggested the guards get refreshments as they would most likely need it for the trip back. In turn, they had graciously accepted and went in to get beverages. The man took the two pills Celestia had given him and slipped one into each of their drinks as they grabbed some light food, mostly celery sticks.

Sneaking back over to the box, the duo watched as the royal guards made their way back outside, where the cardboard box went to follow. Suddenly, just as they were about to leave, the bubbly pink mare who'd devised the whole party, leapt in front of them and grabbed at the box to hold it down.

“COOL! TWILIGHT, I THINK ONE OF YOUR PRESENTS IS TRYING TO GET AWAY!” She screamed out.

'! Pinkie!' Burdy thought, Celestia thinking thoughts along the same lines. As ponies looked over to see what the hubbub was about, Pinkie gasped in excitement.

“OOOHHHH! New cake!” she squealed then bounced away to the bug candy cake Celestia and Burdy had planted earlier. The two of them wiped their brows. Celestia checked behind them to make sure nopony was watching.

“Okay, clear, let's go!” the regal princess, now prankster, commanded. The duo slipped out unnoticed by the community and outside where the two pegasus guards stood in near perfect stature, minus the drinks in their hooves which they quickly downed.

The two in the box waited until the sedation drug kicked in and the two guards passed out in a matter of minutes. They both flopped over face first into the dirt. With a giggle, Celestia and Burdy tossed off the cardboard box and dragged the two guards into the royal carriage then positioned them in a most inappropriate pose together.

With that business taken care of, the duo both hopped into the front, leaned back and relaxed without a care in the world. Celestia chuckled to herself. “We best slow down on the pranking. It would be wise not to ruin Twilight Sparkle's birthday,” she commented and Burdy nodded. “Thank you. It has been some time since I have had this much fun,” she thanked the man who just shrugged and smiled back.

In the far off distance lay two figures, one a stallion, the other a human. The stallion lay with his rifle while Kianna dialed in the shot. However, as they saw the princess and Burdy drag the passed out guards in the back, she was struck in confusion.

“Wha... why...” she was baffled. The stallion spoke up.

“I can tag them both, right now, right here... ma'am?” he asked but she shook her head.

“No... no, they must be up to something. Why else would they be so carefree despite their guards being unconscious?” she asked, theorizing several possible answers but coming up with no plausible one.

She bit her lip and went back to her regular paranoia. “I knew it... I knew you were from NATO... but now you're conspiring with this world's government to kill me are you? We'll see about that!” she spat.

The stallion looked briefly to his deranged commander and also mentor. Kianna stroked her hands through her hair. “This guy... he's up to something... I just know it,” she tapped her fingers along the the side of the spotting scope. “Come on, we gotta move before somepony spots us,” she ordered.

As they stood up, she gathered her things then noticed his large endowment hanging out, fully erect. “And for fuck sakes, tuck that thing away before it gets caught on barbwire,” she ordered.

He blushed timidly and did his best to conceal it once more. “Sorry ma'am, was the way I was laying,” he lied...

Burdy's perspective...

I leaned back in the carriage, snickering with Celestia. We didn't pull off many pranks but like she said, best we stop before we ruin Twilight's birthday.

As I spoke, I rubbed my knuckles while showing her the scars. “Yeah, so in the end the punching bag turned out to be frozen solid with ice. So while I was pounding it I just so happened to cut apart my skin right to the bone and bust my knuckles up some kinda good,” I chuckled and she sighed.

“That's aweful. But why on earth would she threaten to kill your dog like that?” Celestia asked and I shrugged.

“Pardon my French but... because she was a bitch,” I informed her, having told her about when my real mother had threatened to kill my dog because... probably to get a reaction out of me. Celestia leaned back with a deep inhale, then an equally large exhale.

“I never knew my father... nor my mother either. Luna and I were... well, we were alone for the most part of our youth but we took care of each other until we found proper residence.” She tapped her hoof, probably in sadness.

I leaned over and nudged her body with mine. “It's alright... I never really knew my father either. My... uhh... uhm... her, she left with me before I could remember. And it was my grandmother and grandfather who raised me for a little while before I... lived my own life I guess,” I said but before she could speak, I finished. “Because neither of us really grew up properly it molded us into stronger willed people... ponies, whatever. We had to learn quickly about all those little things in life while others got to enjoy a more... love filled life.” She turned away, tears coming to her eyes.

“But I failed my sister. I could not save her from herself and banished her to the moon. Is that really loving?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Dunno... my brother just got away with everything cause he was younger. He once shot the windows out of all the family's trucks with a rifle and I took the blame because... well, it couldn't have been my brother because he's younger... so for several months I was beaten and yelled at and berated... meanwhile he's fuckin sucking on popsicles like a prick. Some time later I finally got him to confess and you know what they do?” I asked and she blinked.

“Well... uhm, they-” I cut her off.

“The fuckin pat him on the shoulder, tell him it's alright cause it's in the past and then yell at me cause I yelled at him to confess,” I told her while throwing up my arms. “I don't know what it would be like to banish a younger sibling to the moon. I didn't really live on the streets with him, grow up together alone then feel like I failed him because I couldn't save him. I don't know what it was like, Celestia, but by god..." A lone tear came to my eye. "I respect you for it,” I told her and she blinked, tears trickling down her cheek.

“You respect me for failing my sister?” she asked but I shook my head.

“What else were you to do? The right decision is never the easiest made. If you had've let her run rampant while you tried to figure out a way to save her, then what?” I asked.

“But the element bearers found a way,” she countered.

“Sometimes... you just... you can't do what needs to be done. You're not good enough but that's what makes us ponies... sometimes we need the help of others and that's okay. It was of your grasp. But what counts is that you did what you could. Putting in the effort, no matter how much it hurt... that's what counted.” I gave her a nod but she still seemed uneasy. “Don't worry. It's in the past now and everything's alright... right?” I assured her. She took a deep breath, held it and finally exhaled.

“Thank you... thank you for listening. I've never said this much about myself to anypony for a long time,” she thanked me. I smiled in return.

“It's what friends are for... right?” She didn't get a chance to answer as Pinkie's voice screamed out to us.

“TWILIGHT'S OPENING PRESENTS!” She screamed in her usual frantically excited voice.

I stepped out of the carriage along with Celestia and we both proceeded inside. Celestia leaned over to speak to me more secretively. “What did you get her?” she asked but I didn't answer immediately.

“What'd you get her?” I asked back.

“A new study book. She loves them.” I bit my lip.

'Wish I had known that.' I twittled my thumbs. “Uhm... she asked me to get her nothing,” I informed Celestia who rose a curious brow. “I'm serious,” I added in. She muttered something to herself that sounded like 'You have much to learn'.

We all stood around while Twilight opened gifts, rather timidly too. Apparently she didn't like being the complete center of attention for things like these, or maybe it was the amount of ponies. She seemed so happy and joyful though, despite most of her gifts being books.

Though I do suppose that's what she liked most in life, reading and studying, so they were suitable gifts. Dash came up and handed her over a mess of tape and wrapping paper. I had a hunch this gift wasn't any sort of book due to the shape... or maybe it was a book and Dash was just horrible at wrapping.

Twilight opened it up and gasped. “Dash, this is a-” but she was cut off by Rainbow herself.

“I know right?! An original collector edition Daring Do outfit from 'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone'!” she squealed. Twilight's eyes went wide for a moment.

“How... how'd you-” but Dash cut her off while brushing a hoof against her chest like a showoff.

“I know ponies. Besides, I'm 20% cooler. Of course I'd get you a totally awesome present like this!” she boasted then hesitated and let out a nervous laugh. “Not that the other presents weren't good too... ah-heh-heh,” she stammered as several ponies rolled their eyes.

Twilight gave her thanks to everypony for the gifts and soon enough, ponies began to depart, some taking with them extra cake and treats. After a short time, only Twilight's main group of friends... also my friends, and Celestia were left. Celestia and Twilight had sparked up a friendly conversation about something rather while the others spoke with each other and I just scratched behind Lassie's ears and cooed sweet things to her.

Our group continued to converse before Rarity brought something up that made Celestia and I give each other faces. “So, Princess Celestia. Should you not be returning to your royal duties? It's getting late... not that we want you to leave,” she asked. Celestia and I gave each other mischievous grins.

Celestia spoke. “Well, not necessarily, no. My sister can handle things in my absence if need be. That and I suggested my guards have a rest before the journey home to Canterlot so they would be fully recuperated for the trip,” she lied.

Just as she said that, the two guards stumbled in the door, armor hanging and partly falling off, eyes saggy, drool hanging from their lips. Everypony went dead silent except the guards. “My... my hinny... Cell-tia,” one of them slurred and Rarity gasped.

One stumbled and fell over, knocking over the berry punch and splashing it all over the ground. Celestia and I both stifled laughs while the others held their hooves to their mouths. The other guard looked to his comrade.

Staggering over, he went to help his friend up but in his disoriented state, he ended up just tripping over him and crashing face first into a pastry table, splattering cake all over his formerly pristine armor.

While the others were simply mortified, Celestia and my face's were nearly beat red as we tried to withhold our laughter. As the two of them frolicked on the ground, I could take no more and burst into laughter. The others looked to me with shocked faces and I hacked and coughed, pretending as if I had something stuck in my throat.

Lassie mingled over and looked face to face with one of the stallions. Sniffing him, she began licking at the icing around his neck. He mumbled incoherent things. Lassie began licking around his cheeks where big clumps of cake were. The stallion reached up, grabbed her head and pulled her in for a tongue kiss. Lassie leapt back with a disgusted face to which Celestia burst into foalish giggles.

Celestia stepped forwards. “Worry not anypony. For I knew this would happen and wished it so. They will not be in any sort of trouble... in fact, I may elect to commend them,” she laughed.

Lassie groaned. “Yech! His mouth tastes like toilet water,” she mentioned only making Celestia giggled more. The regal princess levitated the two indecent guards back out to the carriage before returning.

Celestia and I gave each other props which astounded the others. Celestia waved it off. “Relax. We planned this to happen,” she assured them. After several moments, Rainbow Dash spoke up.

“Twilight, try on that suit I gave you. See if it fits!” she suggested excitedly. Twilight nodded and carefully slipped on the outfit. It looked to fit like a charm. Her wings sprang out from the holes in the sides of the shirt which also seemed to be a perfect fit.

“Wow... this fits perfectly Dash... how'd you know?” she asked but Rainbow just shrugged and waved it off like she was perfect and knew everything.

“Hey, that thing fits so well somepony might think you're actually Daring Do... you know, if you were the right color,” she mentioned. Something in my head clicked and I snapped, gaining everypony's attention.

“Sorry didn't mean to... nevermind. I'll be right back!” I announced then rushed off to my truck. I began rummaging through the back seat trying to find it. “Oh... where the fuck did I... AH-HA! HERE IT IS!” I grabbed the book and held it up like a beacon of hope.

I rushed back inside and handed her the book. “Sorry it's not wrapped.” I turned to Celestia. “Figures I could whip something up, eh?” I chuckled. At first glance, Twilight gave a small depressed sigh.

“Oh, Evan. You didn't really need to get me this. I've already got every story in the ser-” she cut herself off as she took a second look. “Ser... seri... series?...” she stuttered. Dash hovered over and looked at the story as well before gasping loudly, wings springing out and herself falling to the ground. Twilight was speechless.

Dash stood back up, shaking at the knees as Daring's words played in my head. 'It's not much but... well, I figured it might mean something'. I smiled. 'Thanks Daring... it means something,' I thought to myself.

Twilight tried to say something. “Evan... how did you-” but she was cut short by Dash as she leapt up to her hindlegs, grabbed the collar of my shirt and shook me wildly.

“How-did-you-get-that?! Daring Do and The Horned Mountain!” Dash rushed back over to Twilight's side, wide-eyed and baffled. “First edition... hard cover... laminate... even signed by A.K. Yearling!” she squealed like a fan-filly.

My conscious spoke up. 'Avtomat Kalashnikova,'. I shook my head. 'I doubt that's what her first name is,' I thought back. As I looked at Dash, I noticed a striking resemblance to her and Daring. An image flashed in my head of Dash transforming into Daring. I leaned over to Celestia. “Someone's more excited than the birthday filly,” I chuckled and Celestia nodded.

“Truly a well chosen gift,” she appraised and I nodded my thanks. Dash ran over and shook me again.

“How?! How is that possible?! Where'd you get that?! Can you get me one too?!-” Twilight cut her off before Dash could continue interrogating me.

“Dash, relax. If you want... we can all sit down and I'll read it out loud.” Dash spun around, squeezing her cheeks together as she squealed.

“Would you really?!” she asked estatically. Twilight just gave a mildly amused face as she nodded.

“Well sure,” she replied before trotting up to me and planting a kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for the gift. It's amazing,” she commented before planting another kiss on my opposite cheek.

“Anything for you mom,” I replied.

Celestia spoke up. “If you would have me, I would appreciate the hospitality,” she asked, "It would seem my guards are, for the moment, incapable of returning me home.". We all nodded while Tia and I gave each other grins, knowing full well why her guards were incapacitated.

We all sat around while Twilight began to read 'Daring Do and The Horned Mountian'...

Author's Notes:

So... real life story time. Was reading this article by the RCMP about guns and stuff. Anyway, they write this piece about two SKS rifles seized in a drug bust that included: cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, marijuana... the likes, anyway, they go on to write 'If these assault weapons were to fall into the wrong hands... (It continued on but I stopped reading at that point)

If-they-were-to-fall-into-the-wrong-hands... it seems to me if they were in a crack den that they were already in the wrong hands or maybe they meant the wrong hands as in the hands of law abiding citizens? OR maybe they mean aliens from other worlds? Or-OR MAYBE... Nah, that is ridiculous... cheers eh!