Several hours later…

It was getting late and the evening sun was just getting to the western horizon. I let out a sigh as I skidded down the gorge side and to the floor of ‘Ghastly Gorge.’

I had to jog back to Ponyville to get some fresh clothes. Something told me that adventuring through a gorge in a cum stained hospital gown and jeans was a stupid idea.

I had dumped the hospital gown and traded it with one of my few shirts that I had from back on my world. The shirt was black and there was a bald white buff guy with his arms crossed with a big dopey smile displayed on the shirt. There was also some red writing that stated: Don’t fuck with Mr. Clean.

It wasn’t quite adventuring clothing but I always got a laugh out of the t-shirt. I also got some faded blue jeans and strapped my belt on, along with the Bowie knife sheathed on my hip and the buck knife in its ankle sheath.

Spike had been home, but he said that Twilight had gone out with Cadence. I had scrunched my nose then quickly remembered that there was a princess here with the same name as my truck, and I did remember briefly meeting a princess with the same name when I first arrived in this world.

In the end, when I finally got to Ghastly Gorge, my boner had finally worn off and it was time to get serious, though I had no idea where to start looking in this gorge. I took out the map and scratched my head as I looked at the map.

Other than depicting that it was somewhere in a cave in the gorge, there wasn’t much to go on. A howl echoed through the gorge and made me shiver. “Man, without guns I feel completely naked,” I muttered to myself.

“Exactly Snake. Just as your name implies, you’re naked. Leave no evidence that you were ever here,” I muttered jokingly in a Major Zero voice. I continued to crack wise-ass jokes as I moseyed through the gorge.

“Man, this is ridiculous. I’ll never find this thing,” I muttered to myself. I took out the map and began looking it over for any clues I might have missed, still walking along as I browsed its contents.

I took the map away from my view as I shook my head. “Man, this is never going to…” I trailed off as I found myself standing at the entrance to a dark, gloomy cave. I quickly pulled the map back up, then looked to the cave, then back to the map, to the cave…

I continued this motion for at least two minutes, looking in disbelief and a bit of curiosity. “Huh…” I mused then folded the map and set it in my pocket. “Well that was easy,” I muttered as I entered the cave.

I could barely see, even at the entrance of the cave. I tried to squint my eyes, but it was no use, the cave was just black. As I continued along, I held my hands out in front of me, trying to feel the wall.

“It can’t be that far into the cave… I mean the map only made it look like a straight path so...” I trailed off into my thoughts as I continued along. Suddenly I heard stone grinding stone and stopped with a deep gulp. My right foot had just stepped on some sort of death trap stone or something.

Before I could mutter a swear, a bunch of torches lit up along the walls of the cave. I looked back to see that I hadn’t even gone fifty yards into the cave. “Figures,” I muttered as I picked one of the lit torches off the wall.

I continued down the cave for another few minutes before coming to a fork in the path. “Oh for fuck’s sake. The map didn’t say anything about forks in the path,” I cursed harshly to myself then mindlessly went right.

I continued on for what felt like hours, though it was probably only a few minutes. “Man, in movies, caves are so cool. They have bats, vampires, and stones rolling through the cave that are the exact same size as the tunnel and…” I continued listing the great Hollywood effects of caves as I continued down the cave tunnel.

As I entered a wide open clearing in the cavern, a voice called to me. “HEY! You, yeah you! A little help!” called a voice. It sounded a little like Rainbow Dash. I looked to see a light brown pegasus with a streaked black mane. Parts of her mane were a faded black shade while other parts were darker, her tail following the colour scheme that her mane had.

I walked over to the mare who was entangled in a heavy netting. She squirmed about to try and get free while I raised an eyebrow. “Well don’t just stand there! Get me out of here!” she yelled.

I set the torch down and cut her loose. She stood up and brushed off her shoulders. “Phew, I thought I was done for sure,” she stated. “I must’ve triggered a trap or something. The net just came out of nowhere,” she told me then raised an eyebrow as she examined my frame and rather peculiar clothing.

“So… you’re Mr. Clean, I presume?” she asked and I rolled my eyes. “Why did you come down here in the first place? Everypony knows that Ghastly Gorge is dangerous,” she told me.

I shrugged and was about to reply when something caught my immediate attention. “SHIT! DUCK!” I yelled and pulled both our bodies to the side as a scorpion tail swung through the air. I rolled onto my back and we were both speechless as a massive Emperor Scorpion lashed its overly large stinger about.

“Crap…” was all the mare beside me muttered. I nodded and rolled to the right as she rolled left. The massive stinger slammed into the ground, creating a gruesome crater where our bodies had been only moments before.

I rolled to my feet and got my Bowie knife ready, then realized that I was severely outmatched. The creature stabbed its front claws into the ground, shaking the ground floor of the cavern and forcing a crater into the world’s rocky surface.

A spear zipped through the air and collided with one of its front claws. The creature limped its claw briefly before turning its attention to the brown pegasus. “Yeah, over here!” she yelled.

In a purely horrifying act, the creature cocked its legs at the knee joints then lept at least fifteen yards, quickly closing the gap between itself and the pegasus mare in one single leap. The impact force of its body hitting the ground knocked the mare down and it quickly pinned her to the ground with its good front claw. Its mandibles clacked and dripped out a disgusting looking viscous fluid.

I was already moving as the freakish creature was cocking back its tail. The mare’s eyes went wide as she gasped in horror. With just under three yards between the scorpion and myself, I took a leap of faith and latched onto its lashing tail.

Before it could react, I quickly started hacking at the stinger joint with my Bowie knife. Green bug juices squirted out with each hack, along with chunks of the creature’s exoskeletal skin. The scorpion flung its tail, sending me crashing into a stone wall with a pained grunt.

Its tail lashed about, but I had severed it just enough that its lashing caused the stinger to fling off. The scorpion slammed its claws into the ground but before it could charge, the brown pegasus lept onto the creature’s body and slammed a spear right above its row of eyes.

The scorpion’s entire body just crumpled. I wiped the green sticky goo off on my faded jeans and let out a relieved sigh. The mare walked over and offered me her hoof. I graciously took it and stood up. “So, what’s your name and why are you here?” she asked sternly.

I smirked with a chuckle. “So that’s the thanks I get for saving your life?” I asked and she quickly became sour about the subject.

“You did not! I was already breaking myself out. Now answer the question, or else!” she threatened.

“Or else what?” I asked, somewhat mockingly. She brought a spear tip up to my throat, the tip itself was dampened with something.

“This is Emperor Scorpion neurotoxin. I stab you with this and you’ll be dead in less than ten minutes,” she threatened. I brought my hands into the air as if to surrender.

“Okay, shit, you made your point,” I replied. Her muscles relaxed, and although the spear was still to my throat, I knew this was my chance. My right hand shot to the left side of the spear shaft in an instant and jerked it to the right, taking her completely off guard.

In the same fluid motion, I began swinging the spear shaft downwards, towards her knees. I grabbed the bottom end of the spear shaft, which was now level with my face. I grave the bottom of the spear and effortful pull while I pushed the top end towards her. The shaft connected with her legs and began to trip her off balance. The swift motion tripped the mare’s legs out from under her and flipped her back first onto the ground.

She went to move but I placed my foot on her chest and the spear tip by her neck. “Don’t move or I’ll stick yah,” I threatened. She gulped and I stepped back. Snapping the spear over my knee and tossing the two pieces aside before I helped her up, though she was reluctant for my help.

“So why are you here?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Me and my bosses have an arrangement,” I informed her.

“What does he want it for?” she asked and I shrugged again.

“How the hell should I know. I don’t really care either. I just need the crate,” I told her and she rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“Well you should’ve just told me that in the beginning,” she muttered in an agitated voice.

“Well you shouldn’t have threatened me with a spear,” I snapped back.

“You shouldn’t have provoked me,” she argued back. I was about to make a comeback but then just let out a deep exhale.

“Never mind. I’m Burdy,” I said as I extended my hand. She shook it and nodded.

“Daring, Daring Do. Come on, the chest is this way,” she told me and began ushering me down a path. She grabbed the only lit torch to light our way and I went first.

As I turned the corner of the path I realized it was a dead end. “Hey what the fu…” I trailed off as I turned and noticed her slamming a cell door shut. “WHAT THE FUCK!?” I yelled.

“Sorry. I can’t take any chances with you. If Rufus has hired you to retrieve this, then you’re obviously bad news,” she told me.

“Rufus? Who the fuck is Rufus?” I yelled.

“Your boss. The one who sent you here. He collects ancient relics and sells them on the black market when they should be put in museums,” she told me. ‘Oh hey cool, this place has a black market. Who knew?’ I thought to myself before getting back on topic.

“WHAT?! My bosses are Flim and Flam!” I yelled. She stepped back and shook her head.

“They’re probably middle stallions. Sorry, but I’m not taking any chances,” she stated then paced away with the only lit torch.

“Hey! How am I supposed to get out of here?!” I yelled and she shook her head.

“Like I said, I can’t take chances with you. If you don’t want to die of dehydration, you might think about slitting your wrists, or maybe your throat,” she offered a possible, yet brutal, suggestion. As she left the cavern, everything dimmed to absolute darkness.

“Fuck… Fuck… FUCK!” I yelled as I gripped the cell bars in a frantic manner. “Oh man… oh man… if only I had a gun…” I whispered. My mind began to panic. 'What am I going to do? I'm sooo screwed!' I thought silently to myself. My thoughts quickly shifted over to who was responsible for all of this and my panic quickly became hatred. “DARING, I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR ME CAUSE WHEN I BREAK OUT AND FIND YOU, I’M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING HEART OUT!” I roared. My voice echoed throughout the cavern.

‘In a bit of a predicament?’ my conscience laughed sarcastically.

“I don’t have time for this,” I snarled as I gripped the bars of the cell.

‘Oh… I think you do. We’ll be here until you dehydrate and die,’ my conscience laughed. ‘And all because you wanted to save yet another pony, who in the end stabbed you in the back,’ my conscience laughed snidely. I began to tense up angrily, my senses reaching a new high. My vision started to become shaky, and blurry.

I grunted angrily as I pulled on the bars. I was so pissed. At myself, at my conscience… At Daring. I heard a faint crack of stone above the cell gate. I settled down for a moment and quickly reached up to feel the cold stone roofing of the cell.

The stone was decrepit, eroded… weak. I grabbed the cell bars and gave an animalistic snarl as my eyesight sharpened. “I’ll see you around… Daring,” I snarled. My mind became fuzzy as fury ripped through my body. My muscles flexed to their maximum and I could feel my body tense tightly as I began to pull back on the cell doors.

The stone started cracking and little bits of stone fell from above the cell door. I let out one final primal roar before the cell door broke free and I fell back, the cell door crashing on top of me.

I brushed aside the heavy cell door and realized that, despite getting out, I had no way of finding her. I began crawling across the ground, feeling with my hands to try and find a way out, or after Daring. There were only two paths, three if you count the dead end jail cell. One leading out, and one leading to… Daring.

I caught a glimpse of a green glow. I scampered over only to realize it was the Scorpion’s blood. ‘Scorpion blood glows?’ I thought to myself. I looked beside the Scorpion and noticed that it gave enough light to dimly light about five yards from its illumination. I grabbed a small stone and lathered it in the glowing scorpion blood then used it to light my way.

“Here I come Daring,” I snarled as my more animalistic side began to take over.

Deeper in the cave tunnel, third person:

Daring had heard his threat, and although she knew he was locked away to perish, the threat had sent shivers throughout her body, and nearly into her very soul. Every so often she’d look back to make sure he hadn’t somehow broken out.

Daring reached a set of stone stairs and began descending them, the torch in her right hoof leading the way.

As she continued down the stairs, they turned to gold and Daring gasped and examined the golden steps. “Pe… Peg Leg,” she whispered. She took a glance to her left and noticed an unlit torch with a rail beside it.

She dipped her flaming torch into the unlit one and the flame caught, not just to the torch, but the rail as well. She stepped back as the flame whizzed down the rail and began to illuminate the entire secret cavern.

The rail stayed lit in the places the flame crossed as it began a spectacular display. “Somepony really spent time on this,” Daring muttered as she watched the spectacle. After five minutes, the entire secret cavern was lit in an ominous and Egyptian like lighting style.

“Huh… Peg Leg must’ve like the Pharaohs…” Daring mused as she descended the rest of the stairs. In the middle of the cavern was a massive old pirate ship, with an abundance of gold bullions surrounding it. The ship itself sat high off the ground, standing nearly twenty feet above the floor of the cavern.

Daring reached the ship and rested a hoof on the hull, admiring its beauty and heritage. “Oh Celestia… the museum is going to flip when I show them this,” she said with a smirk.

An animalistic roar echoed in the cavern, one that would be on par with an angry grizzly bear. Daring quickly whipped around but didn’t even have time to flinch as the brute of a man that she had locked up earlier, slammed her body through the decrepitly weak hull.

Daring cringed in pain as her body lay flat against the floor of the ship. She managed to sit up and scowled at the snarling man, fury burning in his eyes like a wild fire. “You… dunce… that was a piece of… HISTORY!” Daring hissed.

The man’s lips curled like a vicious dog as he snarled. “Yeah, well I got news for yah bub. When I’m done with yah, yah can join in on the history. They’ll find your bones here a hundred years from now and wonder what killed yah. They’ll probably think it was a bear,” he snarled.

Daring managed to stand up, but that was all she managed. The man tackled her through a support beam that shattered into matchsticks as the momentum force splintered the wood apart.

Evan released her body, letting it crash and tumble across the floor. “Usually I’d have qualms about hitting mares, but… you ain’t no mare. No mare would leave somepony to rot in a cell in a deep dark cavern,” he snarled.

“You’re forgetting something,” she spat. “You’re not a pony. You’re an ugly creature hired to do the dirty work,” she taunted him. He charged forwards and snatched her off the ground then tossed her through the other end of the feeble hull. Daring’s body smashed through the hull and she grimaced in pain as she tasted blood dribbling in her mouth from a split lip.

Daring heard footsteps crushing splintered wood behind her but didn’t need to see it. She saw all she needed to see. Her wings sprang out painfully and she darted up and back towards the ship, specifically to the captain’s quarters.

Evan looked up and unsheathed both his knives and used them like ice picks as he ascended up the weak hull of the ship.

Daring burst through the captain’s doors and winced in pain. Frantically looking side to side, she began pulling apart dressers, pulling out drawers, tipping over desks, until finally, she found it.

Under the bed was an old brown trinket chest with a little lock on it. There was an inscription that had ‘Peg Leg’ in cursive writing. “Peg Leg’s insignia!” Daring whispered excitedly. She smiled as she placed it into her saddle bags. As she turned, she noticed the tall figure standing in the doorway, his body dimly lit by the lighting outside.

“I have reason to believe that belongs to my boss,” Evan stated. Daring took a step back but found herself pressed up against the wall of the bedroom. “Now we can do this the easy way, or…” Evan trailed off calmly, letting Daring make the decision.

Daring darted to the left and grabbed a night lamp, swinging it at him like a small mace. Evan rolled his eyes. “So be it,” he replied subtly then charged forwards and crashed both their bodies through the wall and off the ship. The fall was only ten feet luckily, thanks to the large hoard of gold bullions.

Evan was just getting up as Daring’s wings sprang out and she flew out from under him. “Shit,” he muttered in a deep tone as she began to make her escape. The big man looked back to the ship with a blunt expression.

Daring was heading for the exit when suddenly a cannon shot went off and the exit erupted in a fiery explosion. Daring gasped and looked back to see the man operating one of the many cannons on the ship.

“You idiot! You just locked us in!” she yelled but a second shot went off and erupted behind her. She didn’t need another shot to know, he was shooting to kill.

Daring darted across the roof of the cavern and a third shot erupted and shook the entire cavern. Cavern stalactites began to fall to the ground as the place began to fall apart.

Daring looked to the blood crazed man. “You’re insane! You’ve doomed us both!” she roared.

“YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!” he roared back and fired another shot that blew a nice hole through the ceiling of the cavern. Daring took the window of opportunity and dashed towards it.

Evan manned a new cannon and took aim, but by the time he got it sighted towards her, she flew out through the top of the cavern opening. Evan swore angrily to himself then looked to the side walls of the cavern.

The ruckus had awoken several of the overly large scorpions from their hibernation. Dozens upon dozens of Emperor Scorpions swarmed towards the ship. Evan looked to the side of the cavern and thought to himself. He looked to the hole in the roof of the ceiling, then back to the walls.

He swung the cannon and aimed it on a downwards angle and fired. The cannon shot erupted and blew a hole out the side of the cavern walls, revealing the outside world.

The big man looked around and thought about his options before looking to a small anchor and rope.

Outside, Daring peacefully descended down the side of the waterfall, letting its mist dampen her sore body. She could hear eruptions inside the cavern, most likely the ship’s hover ion engines erupting from damage being caused by falling debris.

She smirked as she knew that the thing inside was undoubtedly dead. Before she could react, an anchor fired through the wall of the cliffside almost like a harpoon, then pulled back and latched into the rock side.

Daring looked and noticed that the anchor had been placed right above a massive hole in the cliff. She looked through the gaping hole and saw the man ziplining down a rope attached to the anchor, using an old war spear to support him as he slid downwards.

He was way too close at this point and all Daring managed to say was, “That crazy bastar…” before the man lept off the zip line and flew directly into the pegasus, careening both their bodies down to the deep river below.

Evan’s perspective:

Our bodies both slammed into the unforgiving water below. Pain seared through my body, but I quickly got my bearings together and looked for the cruel pegasus that had tried to trap me and leave me for dead.

I spotted her in the water just as debris started to slam into the water. Mostly stone and rock debris, but I noticed a few gold bullions in the mix. I swam through the murky water and grabbed three bullions before grabbing the cruel pegasus mare. I waited a moment for most of the debris to crash into the water before surfacing for air.

Debris continued to fall, but the biggest pieces had already fallen. I swam for the sandy shore and began getting my thoughts together.

I dropped the mare’s body into the sand, but she wasn’t breathing. “Oh no…” I muttered. I knelt down and cupped my hands together before giving her chest powerful compressions.

“Oh no you don’t. I’m not letting you die like this you miserable piece of shit!” I scowled as I continued to pump her chest. I stopped for a minute and listened for her breathing. Nothing.

“Fuck… come on you bitch… don’t fucking die on me…” I hissed as I began pumping her chest again. ‘15 compressions, then breathing,’ my conscience thought. I stopped as I realized that I might have to do mouth to mouth to bring her back.

I looked at the seemingly lifeless mare and scrunched my nose. I looked around with a look of disgust then shook my head. “Yeah… no,” I stated then slammed a powerful thrust into her chest.

Her body jerked and she vomited up water from her lungs. I rolled her body over and let her puke out the rest of the water in her lungs. After all the water was gone, she continued to gag for a minute or two before taking several deep breaths.

She slowed her breathing then looked over to me as I stood up. “What… why?” she asked in a breath-taken voice. I picked her up by the hide of her neck with just my right hand, letting her body dangle at eye level.

“Cause I needed this,” I stated as I used my left hand to pull out the trinket chest and curled my lips like an angry dog.

“You could’ve just left me for dead,” she told me and I smirked angrily.

“Like you did to me?” I asked in a pissed off tone. She was speechless and tried to think up a response. “You know, I only gave you CPR in hopes that I could kill you myself, and then I realized something,” I snarled at her.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” she asked in an irritated tone.

“I realized that you’re so pathetic, you’re not worth my time,” I sneered then dropped her to the ground before starting to walk away.

“Don’t you walk away just yet!” she yelled at me. I took a glance back at her and curled my lips again and let out a vicious snarl.

“Don’t make me regret letting you live… Daring Don’t,” I taunted her name and walked off with the chest in my hands.

Hours later…

The walk back to the loading yard was long and tiresome, and along the way I realized something: Flim and Flam hadn’t told me how to contact them when I got the chest.

I reached the loading yard and sat around for another few hours. Now roughly midnight, judging by the moon in the sky, I was getting terribly tired.

I looked over to the new looking fuel pumps and curiosity enticed me. I paced over and took a closer look at them. The label read ‘F&F Industries.’

“Huh… so they do own the loading yard… or the fuel pumps anyway,” I mused before noticing a little note that was held to the pump by a magnet. I took the scrap of paper and read it out loud.

‘Dear Mr. Burdy,
We apologize for not giving you a location to meet us. If you don’t find this by tomorrow, we will visit the library to try and locate you. Though I’m not sure why I just wrote that, the next segment is important. Meet us in the desert fields just outside Ponyville. Our garage is not able to be missed.

Sincerely yours,
The F brothers.’

I crumpled up the paper and dropped it. On the other side of Ponyville was the Everfree so…

I looked to the opposite direction of Ponyville, towards the desert where Flim and Flam had driven my truck towards. “That must be where their garage is,” I muttered. I began walking into the desert and soon realized that this was a stupid idea.

Hours later…

It was early morning, so early that the sunrays were just coming over the horizon, yet the sun wasn’t quite there yet. I went to check the time then realized something else. “They also have… my watch… those mother fuckers…” I muttered in an exhausted voice. The sunrays gave the sky a morning orange look. Though it was spring, the desert plains were already hot and uncomfortable.

I climbed over another sand dune, but my jaw dropped as I spotted a garage in a large flat desert plain. The desert plains went on for miles. I looked back to see only an expanse of desert. It looked kind of abandoned and more like a movie prop. There was an old gas station out front of the garage with a rusty overhead canopy and the garage itself looked like a rusted out 70’s garage.

Though larger than most garages, the place looked terribly run down and ragged. Regardless of looks, I quickly ran down the hill and to the garage.

“Flim… Flam… I GOT IT!” I yelled. The two brothers came out dressed in mechanic clothing that were stained with black grease. Their faces were also stained with black smut which made me chuckle, seeing as how my first impression of the two was high-class business stallions, not mechanics.

I stumbled to the front of the garage and saw it was a bit bigger than I first thought. There were three garages. One had their train thing. Another had a small workplace with grinders, saws, welders, wrenches, basically all the stuff they needed.

In the last spot was…

My heart nearly stopped as I saw my truck... completely disassembled. “CADENCE!” I yelled and rushed in. Every part of her was taken apart, right down to every last lug nut or bolt. “What did you do to her?!” I roared and the brothers looked at me with confused looks.

“We were going to just fix the muffler, but then we realized several other things were broken, so we just figured that we’d completely restore it,” they told me.

“Completely restore it?! That’ll take…” I was about to say several months but they baffled me with their interruption.

“A week. Yes, we know,” they told me and I was stopped in my tracks.

“A… a week… as in one?” I asked and they nodded.

“As in about seven days, give or take,” they told me. I was about to ask how in the hell that was possible, then realized they had stripped it right down in less than twenty four hours. ‘How the hell did they do that?’ I thought, then something clicked. This place was so loony with magic and what-not that restoring a vehicle in seven days was probably possible, though I still had no idea how they knew what to do and how to do it.

“One question?” I asked and they nodded. I went to my toolbox that was lying aside and retrieved Applebloom. “Can you refurbish the stock on this rifle?” I asked as I showed them the battered gun.

Flam took the gun, nodded, then casually tossed it over his shoulder to Flim, who quickly rushed it to the repair shop. “Indeed. So do you have it?” Flam asked and I nodded then offered him the trinket chest.

He didn’t take the chest and looked at me blankly. “You’re not serious… are you?” he asked and I nodded. He chuckled briefly then noticed I was serious. “This isn’t what we wanted!” he said in a somewhat aggravated voice.

“But it was the chest in the cave in Ghastly Gorge and I had to fight a mare for it and I nearly died!” I yelled back. He slapped himself in the forehead.

“You said you knew where you were going,” Flam replied.

“Yeah, to Ghastly Gorge,” I stated and he slapped himself in the forehead again with a grunt of irritation.

“WHY IN EQUESTRIA WOULD YOU GO TO GHASTLY GORGE?!” Flam sputtered out and I scratched my head.

“Because the map told me to?” I replied in a questioning tone.

“No it didn’t! Ugh, give me the map!” he scowled and I pulled the map out from my hind pocket then handed it to him. He opened it up and completely unfolded it, then handed it back to me, pointing to the title which read ‘Go to the Equestrian Tire in Canterlot.’

“Ohhhhhh…” I trailed off as I started to feel really dumb. “But why on earth would it look like a pirate map. I mean it’s so old and… pirate-y looking,” I stated.

Flam let out a depressed sigh. “Well… in all honesty, my brother’s directions are rather terrible. This morning I accidentally spilt coffee on it and we tried to dry it off, and that’s why it looks so old and decrepit.” he sighed and then looked to my exhausted face. “You look tired. Take a nap on the bed, have a drink, then get on your way to Canterlot,” he told me. I nodded as I let a stupid and dorky smile spread across my face. 'I'm feeling really stupid right now.' I thought to myself.

Sunday, March 24th 2014, 12:39pm…

So it turned out that Flim and Flam needed me to go to Equestrian Tire in Canterlot to get a fuel pump for their train thing, all because they were shunned upon in Canterlot. Something about a scam with the royal garden and the flowers or something along those lines. Then there was something about having to duel with Celestia over who could harvest more bananas, but I was too tired to pay attention.

As it also turned out, the bed wasn’t a bed. It was a fold out couch that was rather old and dusty, and there was only one which made me wonder if the two slept together or if they took turns.

As for the drink, there wasn’t any water out here and they only had an old soda machine that was on the fritz. The cooling unit didn’t work and all the soda pops inside were piss warm. As of now, we had one extra item on the list, and they gave me a pouch full of bits to pay for everything, seeing as how they had forgot to in the beginning.

I hadn’t slept all that well, not because of the discrepancy of the old couch, but because of the heat. I was sweating horribly and the stench of my sweat made my nose twitch. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Barely three hours of sleep, but it would have to do for now.

I grabbed the half drunken soda which was called ‘Sparkle Swirls’. It tasted a little like a mix of 7-Up and Mountain Dew and it had a blue colouration to it. The title of the soda was written in funny bubbly letters and I just rolled my eyes and tilted back the rest of the drink.

It had a tasteful aftertaste, though the warmth of the drink didn’t help my thirst. Their fridge was void of water and only had liquor of sorts in it. The fridge was also a little fritzy, but it did manage to cool down items. There were also some fruits in the fridge, all of which looked rather old. The bananas were a bit brown, the oranges looked too soft, and the apples looked mushy.

I walked out of the office, or bedroom, or whatever it was, and saw my truck. The chassis was already being put back together, though the two brothers were nowhere to be seen.

I walked over to my toolboxes and opened them before pulling out a case labeled ‘No-Name.’ For the longest time I had meant to name it, but nothing really took my attention. So, after several months, it just got the nickname ‘No-Name,’ so that was her name.

I pulled the Russian SVT-40 out of the case along with the magazine which was still capped at five rounds. “Oh, I’ll soon fix you,” I muttered as I placed the magazine in my hind pocket.

I went to the other toolbox and grabbed a few 7.62x54R cartridges and tossed them in my other pocket before making my way over to their repair shop. As I walked along with the Russian battle rifle dangling in my hands, I chuckled from the oddly coloured receiver.

For whatever reason, when the Russians had refurbished the rifles after the second world war, the heat treatment for the receivers had turned the receiver block a light shade of purple.

I made my way over to a work desk and put the magazine into a table vice and locked it into a gentle but firm hold. I grabbed a pair of pliers, a hammer, a pin punch, and a flat-head screwdriver.

I quickly disassembled the magazine then went to work on removing the plug and, after several minutes of mangling the rivet, the plug fell free from the hollow magazine. I reassembled the now plug-less magazine and loaded ten shells of 7.62x54R full metal jacket into the magazine.

“Man… I remember how weird it felt to load ten rounds into Applebloom, but this… this just feels unreal,” I muttered before gently locking the magazine into place. I chuckled as I remembered my brother trying to slam the magazine into the gun once. I told him that he played too many videogames and that, in real life, you had to be a bit more gentle with the insertion of a magazine.

A memory faded into my mind as I remembered buying the gun from Wolf’s Den back on my world, all those months ago… actually, now that I think about it, it was probably over a year ago.

I saw it just sitting idly by itself, no one paying even the slightest bit of attention to the, socially considered, ugly Russian gun. I asked the clerk how much and he asked ‘What, that big Russian gun?’ and I nodded. He told me ‘$350 and it’s yours with a sling, magazine, and oiling can.’ And within a heartbeat I bought it, not caring to do any thorough research into the gun first. I knew what it was, but I had no idea how the gun fared, but in the end I was quite happy with my No-Name.

I left the rifle without a round in the chamber, just for safety. Speaking of safety, the safety on the rifle was much like that of my SKS, just a little metal tab that swung behind the trigger to prohibit the trigger from being pulled back.

I flipped the safety on and began to leave, not really caring where the brothers were. I stopped just before I left and grabbed another soda pop for the journey. Lucky for me the tops to the bottled beverage was twist off, so I was good for now.

For a few hours I had treaded aimlessly through the desert before finally finding a set of train tracks and hitching a free ride in an empty freight wagon.

By evening the train reached the train yard outside Ponyville and I hitched onto a train that was supposedly headed for Canterlot. The train rides were boring, uncomfortable, and they seemed to drag on forever, but, after what felt like eternity, I finally arrived in the streets of Canterlot.

I hopped off the train and figured my first stop should be the museum, seeing as how Flim and Flam didn’t need the trinket chest. I began walking through the streets and quickly realized I had no idea where to find the museum. At first I had just thought there’d be a big sign or something.

I kept walking through the streets, but I soon noticed that nearly everypony was staring at me. ‘I really hope that they haven’t found out what guns are,’ I thought to myself, then figured they were just staring at me because I was different.

After another hour of looking, I gave up. I walked up to a mare who wasn’t looking directly at me. “Excuse me? Miss?” I asked. She turned, but as soon as she laid her eyes upon me, she gasped in horror.

“Oh my goddess! Look at you! You’re filthy!” she stated in a disgusted voice. I looked to myself and noticed that I was rather dusty and gritty from the desert. I just shrugged and rolled my eyes.

“Hey, where’s the museum?” I asked bluntly. She pointed to a building down the street and raised her left hoof to her head in a distressful way.

“I moved to Canterlot to escape such filth. I never thought it would’ve followed me,” she whined. I grabbed her left hoof and shook it.

“Thank yah ma’am. Yah don’t know how much yah just yelped me,” I said in a very southern accent. She let out a very loud whinny noise before fainting, gaining the attention of everypony nearby.

I quickly paced over to the museum and walked through the front doors. An attendant held his hoof up. “Sorry sir. The museum is just closing. It opens again at eight tomorrow morning,” he told me and I rolled my eyes then pulled out the trinket chest.

“I’m an adventurer. I brought this back for the museum,” I informed him. He gasped in an impressed tone and pointed up the hallway.

“Up the stairs, to the left, and last door on the right,” he instructed and I nodded. I started following his instructions but at the same time found myself intrigued by the museum exhibit titles. There were dinosaur exhibits, medieval exhibits, even primal pony exhibits. I quickly shook off my lack of focus then followed the attendant’s instructions and found myself at some executor’s office door and let myself in without knocking.

Inside was an older looking grey earth mare and… Daring. “I’m telling you, Rufus hired some hairless ape that destroyed the entire ship and the cavern, BUT PEG LEG’S GOLD WAS THERE!” she announced.

The older mare noticed my arrival and took her attention away from Daring. Daring followed her gaze and gasped. “YOU!” she scowled and I looked behind myself, then back to her and pointed to my chest.

“Me?” I asked innocently and she gritted her teeth before pointing her hoof at me.

“That’s the thing that destroyed Peg Leg’s history,” Daring scowled and I rolled my eyes.

“First off: I may be a ‘thing,’ but my name is Evan. Second off: it’s not nice to point. Thirdly: You were responsible for the destruction of that place. If you hadn’t trapped me in that cell and left me for dead, for absolutely no fucking reason I might add, then I wouldn’t have come after you in a bloodthirsty rage,” I replied calmly.

The older mare looked to Daring curiously, probably from my last statement. “You… trapped him in a cell and left him for dead?” she asked and Daring shook her head frantically.

“No way. He deserved it. He’s working for Rufus,” Daring stated.

“I was working for Flim and Flam,” I snapped back.

“They’re just the middle stallions,” Daring countered, but before I could counter back, the older mare snickered.

“Flim and Flam… middle stallions? Ha, now I’ve heard it all.” she laughed lightly, making a confused look cross Daring’s face. “Flim and Flam used to be big names, but they slowly fell into nothing more than a pair witty brothers whose names are only known by those that they tried to scam,” the mare stated before extending her hoof. “Mrs. Applenathy, and you said your name was…” she trailed off in a very enticed voice.

“Burdick, Evan Burdick. But you can call me Burdy if yah fancy,” I stated in a very businesslike voice before shaking her hoof. Daring shot me a cold glare which made me smirk, but my next move I knew would blow her top.

I pulled out the trinket chest and set it on the table. “This belongs in a museum. So I thought it would be a nice addition to this place,” I stated. Daring stood up in a rage, steam nearly blowing out her ears.

“YOU BASTARD! I said that belonged in a museum and you said it belonged in your boss’s hooves!” she screamed. I stifled a laugh and shrugged.

“Turns out I misread the map my bosses gave me. They actually wanted me to go to Equestrian Tire and pick up a fuel pump,” I stated. Daring’s jaw hung open in anger but Mrs. Applenathy simply nodded and pulled the chest towards herself.

“You… you dirty… you dirty filthy rat!” Daring hissed and I laughed before placing a hand on the chest, making Mrs. Applenathy look to me with a wondering look.

“Both Daring and I found this. But for the record, just say that Daring found it. I don’t need my name on some plaque beneath this when it’s on display,” I stated. Daring gasped and her jaw hung agape, completely shocked that, after all that, I gave her complete credit for its recovery.

Mrs. A. nodded and smiled. “Well indeed… let’s see what’s inside shall we,” she said and pulled out a small automatic lock pick. She inserted the little pin and pulled back on the overly large trigger with her hoof. There was a click and the chest opened up.

A wisp of blue smoke trailed up into the air then was caught in the wind and immediately dissipated. Mrs. A just looked blankly into the chest. “Oh my…” she trailed off and turned the chest around so we could see inside.

It was completely void of anything that would be considered history. “It’s empty,” Daring gasped and I shook my head then reached inside for the only thing actually inside the otherwise empty chest.

“No it’s not, look,” I stated as I pulled out what looked like pocket lint. “It’s lint. For all we know, it could’ve been Peg Leg’s pocket lint,” I stated jokingly. Both of the mares frowned and I chuckled sheepishly. “Bad joke, huh?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Mrs. Applenathy shook her head in a sad way. “I’m sorry Daring. But I just can’t pay you if it doesn’t actually have anything in it. For all anypony would care, it’s just an empty chest we could’ve picked up at a garage sale,” she informed Daring who drooped her head in defeat.

“Actually… there is one more thing,” I stated and they both looked to me. I pulled out one of the three gold bullions I had and placed it on the table. Mrs. A’s eyes went wide as she carefully picked it up.

“This… this is ancient,” she muttered and I raised an eyebrow before she continued. “Well… that is to say, it’s not technically ancient, but it is old…” she trailed off and pulled out some weird monocle looking thing and placed it over her right eye. Through the magnifying monocle focal lens, her eye looked obscenely large.

“And it was signed by Peg Leg himself. Look, that’s his insignia,” Mrs. A. gasped, handing the gold and monocle to Daring. The younger mare inspected it and she too gasped.

They both looked to me and in a unison chorus stated: “This is an incredible discovery!” I rolled my eyes and pointed to Daring.

“She found it,” I stated, almost like a child blaming their sibling for something bad that was done. Mrs. A. quickly pulled out a pen and scribbled something on a cheque then handed it to Daring. Daring hoof-pumped the air and let out a cheer.

“Aww yeah!” she cheered then nodded to the older mare. “I’ll see you later. I’m sure I can dig up something else before the month is done,” she stated then headed out the door.

As the door closed behind me, I looked to the older mare and pulled out another gold bullion. Her eyes went even wider than before. “Same gig. Peggy’s gold,” I stated and she took the bullion from my hands with her hooves.

“Incredible… just incredible,” she stated and went to call Daring back in but I silenced her.

“This is going on my payroll, but still documented that she found it,” I told her. She nodded and scribbled me up a cheque. I took the check and looked at it, but the results nearly made me have a heart attack.

“Fi… Fif… Fifty G’s!” I gasped and she nodded like it wasn’t a big deal. “Christ! I thought maybe you’d give me five grand plus maybe compensation or something but holy shit! Fifty fucking grand!” I yelled and she placed her hoof to her mouth, motioning for me to tone it down.

“Well yes. The gold itself would be worth much more on the black market, adding in the fact that most people believe Peg Leg to be urban folklore. This is a truly remarkable find and deserves compensation. Now do take in mind, Daring did get paid more, but only because she was more experienced and has been looking for this treasure for the last few weeks… speaking of which, how long were you searching?” she asked and I chuckled while I scratched the back of my head.

“Just yesterday.” she blinked and it took a moment before she realized I was serious.

“Wow… you are a true professional!” she stated and I shook my head.
“Nah, I’m just lucky is all,” I stated before extending my hand for a goodbye shake.

I gave her one final nod before leaving. The attendant was still there and he gave me an appreciative nod as I was about to leave. I stopped and turned to him. “Hey bud?” I asked and he perked his head up in attention. “Where’s the Equestrian Tire?” I asked.

“Once you step outside, go left, two blocks down and you can’t miss it,” he informed me. I gave him an appreciative nod and left the premise.

I began walking down the night streets of Canterlot but, as I neared my destination, a hoof wrapped around my mouth and pulled me into an alleyway. In a shock of fear that somepony might be trying to mug me, I twisted my body and pulled the culprit’s body over my right shoulder and to the ground.

My left hand instinctively grabbed my buck knife from the ankle sheath and quickly brought it to my aggressor’s throat. I was shocked to find Daring lying beneath my grip. “Couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?” I asked as I brought the knife down harder to her throat, now risking to slice it open.

“Okay, OKAY! I give!” she pleaded.

“Well maybe I don’t accept your surrender. Maybe I’m so sick of your bullshit, that I just want to bleed you out, be done with it. Never have to see your goddess forsaken eyes ever again!” I hissed.
Her eyes went wide with fear and my anger settled before I got up from on top of her. “You’re one lucky bitch, you know that right?” I snarled. She stood up cautiously and brushed herself off.

“What’s your deal anyway?” She inquired.

I let out a sigh as I sheathed my knife. “Like I said, my bosses needed something, I misinterpreted the map and everything else is history,” I stated.

“How’d you find the cave so easily? It took me weeks to find it,” she countered.

“Luck,” I replied back. She gave me a sour look. She opened her mouth to bicker at me and I gave her a blunt but serious look and she just sighed.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized as she sighed. She took a deep breath then continued. “I know what I did was dastardly and completely inexcusable, but I thought you were working for Rufus. His goons would’ve done that to me in a heartbeat if given the chance,” she stated.

I extended my hand and she looked to me then shook it. “I forgive you. And I’m sorry too… for nearly killing you, and threatening to slit your throat, and destroying the evidence of Peg Leg…” I trailed off with a smirk. “Guess I’m the one in the wrong here,” I laughed and she joined in with a brief chuckle.

“Thank you,” she thanked me and I raised an eyebrow.

“For what?” I asked and she shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she replied sarcastically. “For saving my life several times in less than an hour. For saving just a fraction of Peg Leg’s history, then giving me the credit… heck, nopony has ever done that for me,” she stated then slowly hopped up to her hindlegs and gave me a peck on the cheek.

She stood back down onto all fours. “Don’t tell anypony about this, or I’d have to kill yah,” she laughed with a wink. “Maybe sometime, if you need my help, I can pay you back,” she said. I nodded as she flew off.

Just before she finished flying off, I went to a nearby dumpster and pulled out a used pencil and a gritty piece of paper. I began writing a letter to Twilight.

Dear Princest Sparkle,
I learned friendships aren’t always what they seem to be. Sometimes a pony might mistake another pony for somepony that they're not, and then proceed to do things that they might not think through very well. In the end both ponies may be in the wrong for their actions, regardless of whether their intentions were good or not.

With immature regards,
Burdy

Author's Notes:

So Chad, that guy that I mentioned in the cereal chapter, well him and his mom got into an argument about something and she told him to go live with his dad, but his dad lives in a single room with one bed and a dog, so he didn't have room. So for next however long, I'm the temporary Guardian of this kid... and he says I'd be a pretty cool dad, if I had kids.
Just figured I'd tell you guys and gals a nit-bit of my life just because. Have a good one eh! (Yeah, I'm Canadian)