Her Tavi, No Longer

by Brony19

Chapter 1: I Miss You So...

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I Miss You So...

"Vinyl, we need to talk."

"Sure thing, Tavi. Whatch'ya need?"

"It's... about us."

"*Sigh* Look, I know things are getting hectic with my scedule, but I love you. I can always make time for you."

"I know, Vinyl. But what if you can't make enough?"

Vinyl Scratch remembered that was the begining of the end. She also remembered she managed to keep Tavi from going away at that moment; she would after that week, however. Still, it was one more week she had with her Tavi, the greatest, most wonderful mare in Equestria. She wished more than anything that she could rewind time and fix herself and Tavi from falling apart like they did. That she could put more time aside for her. She should have, and she damn well knew it. But she didn't. To be number one on the charts for seven straight months meant being on top of things. Unfortunatly for her and Octavia, "Tavi Time" wasn't something that took priority until it was far too late.

Sunlight shined on her eyes, her glasses resting on the nightstand. She groaned and used her magic to close the blinds to block out the light. She knew she shouldn't mope in bed today, she had done pleanty of that three years ago. But Goddesses damnit, she was going to today. She didn't have anything planed today, anyway.

Sometimes she wished she could forget about the time they spent together, but it's hard to forget the two greatest years of your life, no matter how hard you try. And be that as it may, it felt like she was betraying Tavi when she did try, like if she forgot about her, she would cease to exist. For Tavi, Vinyl did practicly disappear because she was so busy with her new career. Vinyl dedicated so much time, she hardly ever came home from work. When she called, Vinyl would say she only needed another hour to finish this song, to set her scedule, to do whatever. Vinyl regreted that so much.


"Vinyl, it's me."

"Hey Tavi! What do ya need?"

"Well, you would be nice."

"Heh heh, I bet you do."

"Heh, yes, that would be nice too. But just having you home tonight would be nice as well."

"Sure, give me an hour to finish this track, 'kay?"

"Oh... okay. I'll see you then."

"See you tonight."


"Yeah babe?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." *Click*

Oh Celestia, did she regret those words. Every time she said them, they seemed so harmless, so innocent. How could she have done that to her? Left Tavi alone in their apartment, with nopony to be there with her, to eat dinner with her, to love her. She missed those words. She missed Tavi saying, "I love you." More than anything, she wished she could hear her say those words again. Even if it was just once, she would throw away all her success, all the fame, all the money just so Tavi could say she loved her one more time. She felt a tear roll down her cheek at the thought of that.

"I love you, Tavi... I love you so much..." Vinyl whispered to herself. She didn't say it to anypony, she just felt like she should say it. How could she have been so blind? Everything she ever needed out of life was right next to her the whole time, and she let her slip away. More tears fell, leaving cold trails as they went. Vinyl pulled the covers a little closer to her. It did nothing to ward off the sudden chill she felt. She let out a soft cry and turned onto her side to look at her nightstand. It was nothing special, just plain wood, two drawers and her tradmark glasses. It was the other object on it that mattered to her.

It was a picture of her and Octavia. They were sitting on a beach, under the shade of an umbrella, both wearing the biggest smiles they ever had. Vinyl remembered that day as well. It was their one year aniversary. Vinyl had just become the biggest new artist just a week prior and had the money to give the two a vacation to that island for a week. It had been beautiful, the weather was picture-perfect the whole week, the water increadible, the food some of the best she ever had in her life. But the most important part of the entire trip was Tavi. There was hardly a moment she wasn't wearing a smile, even when she slept. Or rather, when Vinyl decided to let her sleep.

"Oh sweet Celestia, Vinyl. That was increadible."

"I thought you'd like it."

Octavia kissed her. "I love you."

Vinyl kissed her as well. "I love you too."

The next morning they took that picture. They swam in the ocean. They made love on the beach. Oh, Goddesses, she loved Tavi so much. But she was gone. And she had nopony to blame but herself and her damn career. She stared at the picture like if she looked hard enough she could go back to then. Eventually the tears made it too blurry to see it. She wiped her tears away and rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "Stop crying girl. You've done enough of that." She said to herself. It didn't help too much, but she stopped, for now. She wondered if Tavi missed her as much as she missed her. She doubted it. She fucked-up too much for Tavi to lie in bed and cry like this over what had been.

Vinyl wondered how her career as a cellist was going. She was good, no, great with her cello. Whenever Vinyl was home to hear her play, she would always open the door and lean against the doorframe and listen to her play. Once Tavi finished and began to pack up, she would notice her. It was always the same; Tavi would pretend to be mad at her, Vinyl would pretend to beg her forgiveness, and Tavi would consider it. Vinyl would ask if there was anything she could do to make it up to her and Tavi would always say the same thing:

"Well... maybe if you say that you love me, I might forgive you."

Then Vinyl would say she loved her, Tavi would ask her to prove it, and she would kiss Tavi. Sometimes they went further, sometimes they didn't. Every time, Vinyl was never happier. Despite her current feelings, Vinyl smiled at the memories. She even went as far as to give a half-hearted chuckle at how they would do the same thing every time. It was a sort of inside joke between her and Tavi. Nopony ever saw one of these events, but they were more than just playful moments to the two; it was a reminder of their first kiss. Vinyl smiled more as she remembered how her life changed forever.

She came home from a minor gig and heard beautiful music coming from Octavia's room. She opened the door and saw her playing her cello. Vinyl leaned on the doorframe and just watched her. Octavia had her back to her while she played. After a few minutes, Octavia began to put her cello away, noticing Vinyl for the first time.

"Vinyl! What are you doing?!"

"Uh, n-nothing! I was just, uh-"

"Just watching me play! That's creepy!"

"Sorry! Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"Well... could you come here?"

Perplexed, Vinyl did. Octavia motioned her closer, until the two were inches away from each other. Slowly, Octavia leaned closer to Vinyl and began to close her eyes. Vinyl did the same until their lips connected, sending happy fireworks through both mares' minds.

Vinyl still couldn't believe that Tavi did that, even five years later. She knew she liked Tavi when they were in high school, but she never let her feelings be known to her in case Tavi didn't feel the same. She didn't know how long Tavi liked her back, but she didn't care. She liked her, and that was all that mattered. Emphasis on was. As quick as it came, the smile was replaced with a sad frown. "Why did I let it get so bad?"

No matter how many times she asked herself that, she never found an answer. That was what hurt the most: that she let it get so bad and still, three years later, didn't have the answer as to why. She knew how it happened, just not why she had been blind to it when it did. For Luna's sake, she had one fuckin' year to see it coming, but she didn't. She... just didn't.

"Vinyl, it's not working."


"I'm sorry."

"Wait, TAVI!!!"

And she left. Just like that, she was gone. The night before, she had packed her things. Vinyl, coming home well past one in the morining, didn't turn on the lights and didn't notice. She climbed into bed and slept next to her marefriend that night thinking that tomorrow would be like any other day. What she woke to instead was Tavi, all her things in a saddle bag and her cello in its case, waiting for her in the living room. Tavi said those words and left.

Vinyl stared at the door like this wasn't real, that it was just a nightmare. Eventually when she didn't wake up, she realized that this was real life. So overwhelmed by how quickly it ended, she fell to the floor and cried. She cried the worst she ever had in her life, shouting Octavia's name until it hurt.

"Octavia! OCTAVIA!!! TAVI!!!"

Eventually, her agent burst into her apartment, long after Vinyl lost her voice. He found her on the floor, sobbing quietly only because she couldn't speak any more. It took him an hour just to get her off the floor and onto the couch. It was a full day before she could talk again, even then, it was only simple things like one-word answers. After a week, she began coming back to the studio. After a month, she actually started working again. In that month, she made her top-selling alblum, achiveing platnum status three times and staying at the top of the charts for four months, selling an estimated six million copies. She didn't care, though. All she cared about was Tavi.

Her Tavi.

But she was her Tavi, no longer.

While she didn't do this every day, she still hoped. Maybe one day she could go back to the way things had been. Tavi would be at her side, and Vinyl would make time to be at her side as well if it killed her. But she knew that day may never come. Even if she waited all day at the front door in the hopes that Tavi would walk through it. Even if she hoped that when she looked through her mail there would be a letter from Tavi. Even if she lied in bed and hoped that day would come. The way things were felt like an afterlife to her now; one she desperatly needed to return too. She supposed she didn't belong there anymore. She had moved on, wither she liked it or not.

Deciding to get out of bed, she threw the covers off and made her way for the bathroom. After showering, she went to the kitchen to make some simple breakfast, toast. 'Octavia's favorite...' She thought to herself before shaking her head and continuing to make it. "Stop. You've done enough damage for today." She said aloud to herself. Once the toast was done, she put it on a plate, buttered it, and moved to that table to begin to eat. She had only her first bite before the doorbell rang. Curious as to who it could be, she got up and opened the door.


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