Dear Diary,

Pinkie Pie is batshits insane…

“Pinkie Pie!? Why are you here!?” Rainbow looked just as surprised as I was when she looked at who was about to join us. My own brain struggled with the same question. Wasn’t she supposed to be at Sugarcube Corner? And why the hell did I keep running into her after I had sex?

“I wanted to see how you liked my cupcakes, Silly,” the hyper pink girl reached us and gave us one of her flashy smiles. “A baker always makes sure that their wares are up to par and I’d say they were a great success!”

And now my head hurt. What the hell did that mean?  I used the time my brain couldn’t focus on this question because of the ache to get my pants and its inhabitant back to where they belonged. Rainbow was still naked, but didn’t seem to notice. Who could blame her? Pinkie Pie had arrived. I, however, noticed that, like Pinkie, she had a tattoo on her hips: A three colored lightning bolt from a cloud.

“Did you have fun!?” Pinkie didn’t give either of us time to respond to her earlier statement before she continued with her questions. “What did the cupcakes taste like? Did they make you feel anything?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked in the hope that something would be explained. However, once the question had crossed my lips, the image of the strange and out of place look Rainbow had had in her eyes just before he flew me to the lake appeared before my eyes. Oh no, please don’t let it be that. If Pinkie had sold the batch we had seen in the store, and with the general lack of men compared to women, it would be death by snusnu. While one of the better ways to go, I didn’t really want to end my life just yet.

“Yeah Pinkie, what are you talking about?” the two of us had finally gotten to our feet.

“Rainbow, I think she is saying that she did something to the cupcakes she gave us,” I said in a low tone in Rainbow’s direction. It didn’t really matter if Pinkie heard us, but I did anyway. “I think it caused whatever it was that made you fly me to the lake.”

“He’s right!” Pinkie jumped and landed on Rainbow’s back. She crossed her legs around her waist and held on to her chest to keep the balance. She laughed while she did. “The cupcakes were made to make the ones who ate it to feel like they were in heat, and it looks like I succeeded!”

A slight blush had spread over Rainbow’s face, and mine, and she did her best to throw Pinkie of her back, to no avail. The pink fingers found her nipples and started to rub and pinch them.

“Pinkie! Get! Off!” she took a hold of her legs and forced them apart and spread her own wings. Pinkie, no longer able to hold on, fell to her back on the ground, still with her laugh.

While they struggled, my mind went to what Pinkie had said. Her cupcakes were made to mimic the sense of being in heat? That would explain some of what had happened, but the more I thought about the more a particular question formed in my mind. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had been in heat too, according to Twilight, and they hadn’t been behaving like Rainbow.

I supposed it could be chucked up to individual differences, but I still found Rainbow’s behavior to be much more extreme. At least the Cutie Mark Crusaders had acted within the boundaries of reason with their rather aggressive seduction. Rainbow had just forced me into it, and had acted like someone flicked a switch.

Another question had formed in my mind; why didn’t I feel anything when I ate the cupcake? Wait, that was probably because of two simple things. The first one was that humans didn’t have a heat cycle like these people, and the second was that I was male. My “heat cycle” would amount to the rate I got an erection, which had been quite frequent over the last couple of days.

“The last few days,” my mind corrected me and reminded me of all the times I had caught myself staring at Twilight’s hindquarters ever since I arrived. Pretty much every chance I got, even though she had mostly been working with whatever it was she did. The image of Twilight sleeping on my chest, with the tiny blood stains on the tip of her horn, came back to my mind for a moment.

“So, now that we know why I was head over heels for you, can I go now?” Rainbow had started to put her clothes back on.

“No,” I heard myself say, much to my own, and apparently Rainbow’s, surprise. “I have a question first; I’ve… ehm… had firsthand experience with a mare in heat and you acted a lot more extreme than that. Pinkie needs to know that the recipe is too strong.”

Rainbow’s hand went to the back of her head and she let out one of her nervous laughs.

“Silly,” Pinkie jumped on my back this time and laid her head right next to mine. “She was already in her heat period! I mean, anyone can smell that, right?”

“Pinkie!”

“What?” the pink one seemed oblivious to what she had done wrong as Rainbow yelled at her with an even deeper blush than before. “Nothing wrong with being in heat, everybody will be sometime. And wasn’t that why wanted to bring him out of the town to show him you ‘new trick’?”

“I- eh- gotta go!” Rainbow spread her wings and took off, leaving only a the sound of her heaving wings, before that to disappeared.

“So, what do you want to do now?” Pinkie asked into my ear and I was reminded that she sat on my back. Somehow I had pushed that part out of my mind while she talked to Rainbow Dash. I just shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea what I wanted to do right now.

“Oh, I know!” a nervous growl came from my stomach. Whenever Pinkie had an idea, I usually ended up getting thrown to the ground. And in pleasant company, thankfully. “We could visit some of my friends you haven’t met yet!”

“Let’s see,” she didn’t give me any time to respond to her suggestion. “You’ve met Twilight and Rainbow, and me of course, and we ran into Applejack last night. That leaves Rarity and Fluttershy. So, who do you want to meet first, Rarity or Fluttershy?”

“Pinkie?”

“Yes?”

“How should I know? I don’t know them, remember?”

“That is right!” and she started on one of her- was rant the right word to use? I wasn’t sure. Maybe it was a tirade rather than a rant. Maybe diatribe, but most likely not. Tirade was probably the closest I could get to the right word in the moment I had to decide before my thought were drowned out my her voice.

“Fluttershy is the most amazing person with animals, it is her special talent! And she is soooo kind and caring! She cares about everybody, and I mean everybody! And she is the cutest little thing ever! And she’s a Pegasus so she can fly!”

She moved around so much when she said all of this that most of my attention and energy had to go to make sure I didn’t fall over.

“And Rarity is the best fashion designer in all of Equestria! She even designed the dresses for the royal wedding! And she made outfits for the famous pop-singer Sapphire Shore! And she is sooo generous, which is why she is the Element of Generosity!”

“The Element of What?” I had intended to let that question stay in my head so I could ask Twilight about it, but my brain and mouth conspired against me. Of that I had become quite convinced.

“No Silly, not the Element of What. The Element of Generosity! Just like I am the Element of Laughter and Rainbow is the Element of Loyalty! We are parts that make the Elements of Harmony stay in harmony!”

Element of Laughter? I found that to be fitting for this crazed girl. These Elements of Harmony sounded like they were important, but, if my brain and mouth would allow it; I should ask Twilight rather than Pinkie. Twilight just seemed to be the type of person who would answer this in a way that I would have an easier time understanding. Whenever I asked Pinkie anything I just got more questions.

“So, who do you want to visit?”

I had already forgotten most of what Pinkie had said about Fluttershy and Rarity, except that Rarity was the Element of Generosity. With so little to go on, I might as well just go with the one I knew the most about.

“Eh, why don’t we visit Rarity? I am sure she is nice, being the Element of Generosity.”

“You’re right!” Pinkie finally got off my back, but took my hand like she had done several times since I met her. “She is very nice, one of the nicest people I know!”

**

Through the town and back to where I had first been hit by Rainbow Dash she dragged me, just above the speed I thought myself able to keep up with. By the time I was halfway there, I was already breathing heavily and sweating. Did she never run out of energy?

“Here we are!” I prepared to be lying on the floor in the next few seconds as we crossed the threshold of one of the buildings I remembered from earlier. It was named Carousel Boutique, if the sign outside could be trusted. However, while I was tripped by Pinkie just like at Sugarcube Corner, I was caught in a light blue light that put me back on my feet.

At the other side of the room a woman, slightly taller than Pinkie, stood with her back to us by a mannequin with about twenty different things floating around her, in the same blue light that had kept me from becoming intimately familiar with the floor.

She had long flowing, dark purple, much like Scootaloo’s in the color, hair and snow-white skin with a horn in the forehead, like Sweetie Belle, that was mostly visible . She was dressed in a simple black dress that reached just below her knees and high heels in the same color. She had a golden armband with a very light blue gem in it.

“One moment, if you please. I just have to finish this last detail. There,” she turned around and I felt some of the color disappear from my face. If she was not Sweetie Belle’s sister, I didn’t think it possible she had any. The woman, whom I assumed to be Rarity, looked like a more mature figure of the Cutie Mark Crusader I had run into earlier. “Now, what can I do for you? Oh, Pinkie, it is you. And who may you be?”

Pinkie and I had walked closer to her while she finished and I couldn’t help but let my eyes run over her body a few times. The simple black dress didn’t leave all that much to the imagination, though one would be hard pressed to find something scandalous about it, other than that it fit her perfectly. She looked like she had a comparable chest to Twilight, in size, but her hips were slightly wider. She had a hint at an hourglass figure, but not so much that I would suspect her of wearing a corset. I reached out my hand and introduced myself.

“It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Rarity, and this is my Carousel Boutique. Now, what brings the two of you here today? And…” she hesitated for a moment, with a raised eyebrow and her eyes at my clothes. “May I ask why you are wearing Spike’s clothes?”

“It’s a long story…” I began, but was never allowed to finish. Before I could say more than those four words, Pinkie decided to join in the conversation again.

“Twilight gave them to him because the ones he had were too sweaty and she probably didn’t want to have him having to walk in sweaty clothes when he stayed with her! That wouldn’t be pleasant for either of them!”

“I… see,” Rarity’s eyebrow didn’t go down, but her eyes turned to Pinkie. The things she had levitated had started to find their place on the shelves on the far end of the room from where we stood. “And how is that different from him being sweaty in Spike’s clothes? I am just trying to see how this, if I may be so bold, makes any sense.”

“Well, it is my fault,” I said and hoped Pinkie wouldn’t interrupt me again. “I sort of ended up in this town- or in Twilight Sparkle’s house to be exact- with only what I had on me. Before it happened I didn’t exactly have plans to come here, so I had no time to pack.”

When I said “plans” Pinkie looked like she remembered something important, said she had to go and stormed out the door. Rarity just shook her head at that. I couldn’t help but to look after her as she shot out of the door.

“I see,” she said and returned to the subject of Spike’s clothes. “Well, we can’t have that. If you give me but a moment I can put together something for you to wear.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to-“

“I insist. I will not have it so that your first visit in Ponyville is ruined because of sweaty clothes. Besides, it has been so long since I put together casual wear and I could use the break from my ther projects.”

“But I don’t have any money, and I can’t just let you do this for free.”

“If you insist on paying me, I suppose we can come to an arrangement. If you help a little around the store for three or four days, that should cover the cost of these simple clothes.”

When I heard this I felt relieved. Not sure why, since I couldn’t recall being nervous. Well, until I noticed that a measuring tape had started to go over every detail of my body. A pen had started to sketch on a drawing table to my right.

“So,” Rarity continued the conversation while her horn did all the work. “How are you finding Ponyville? I am sure it is not as magnificent as where you are from, but I would insist that you give it a chance. There are some truly terrific people here.”

“It is a nice town,” I said and gave her a smile. She was really friendly, so I wanted to be the same to her. “And the people I have met so far have been really welcoming, even though Pinkie has been… well… kinda crazy.”

“Oh, I am not surprised. All that sugar cannot be good for her. But let it be known that I find Pinkie to be one of the most loyal and fun friends one can have, even if she can be a bit uncouth.”

I didn’t quite know why, but we shared a little laugh at this. Her measuring band and the sketching had stopped and now fabrics and scissors and needles and thread and everything else one would need to make clothes manually started to flow around one of the mannequins modeled after a man.

“Pinkie said you live with Twilight.” It was a statement and one I was uncertain as to the meaning of. I simply nodded on hope that she’d continue to her point if I didn’t say anything. “How exactly did you end up with her?”

“Well,” how could I explain this when I didn’t really understand it myself. “I don’t really know. One moment I was home and the next I was in a chair with Twilight inspecting me. She decided that it was probably best that I stayed with her. Something along the lines of research being easier that way.”

“You were just… teleported here? Oh, forgive me,” with a motion of her head she fetched two low, but comfortable looking chairs and a small table with a bowl of fruit on it. Two glasses and a mug of water came out of another room and landed next to the bowl. I was quite impressed by this, as at the same time the stuff that flew around the mannequin continued as if nothing happened. “I shouldn’t have let you stand like that. What sort of a hostess am I? And I do apologize for the meager refreshments I can offer you. I usually don’t have much fit for a visit lying around when I don’t expect any.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about that. This is more than good enough.”

She gave me a “you are just saying that to be nice”-smile, but didn’t mention it further. Instead we share a moment in silence, and she used the opportunity to look over at the other thing she was doing, besides conversing with me.

“Now,” she said and turned back to me. “How do you like it here? I do not know how long you’ve been here, of course, so I don’t know how much time you have had to form an opinion.”

“Didn’t you already ask this?” I probably shouldn’t have replied like I did, but old habits die hard as they say.

“Yes, of course, you’re right. Entirely my fault for forgetting. Then, would you mind going into a little more detail?”

“No, that is okay with me. Let’s see, I came here four days ago, but I didn’t leave Twilight’s house until yesterday. I met Pinkie Pie and the-“

“Rarity, have you seen my- HEY MISTER!”

Both Rarity and I quickly turned our heads to one of the doors into the room. Sweetie Belle had just come in and beamed up at the sight of me, and apparently forgot about whatever it was that she was looking for.

“Hey Sweetie Belle,” Rarity replied with a slightly meek tone. “Now please, run long. I am having a conversation with a customer.”

“Customer? You’re a customer here?” the younger of the sisters looked at me with a puzzled expression. “Then how come I haven’t seen you before yesterday?”

Shit. While Twilight had said that what I did wasn’t illegal, if Rarity was Sweetie Belle’s sister she might take a more personal offense to what had happened. Judging by her ability to do so many things at the same time with her magic, including preventing me from falling, it could mean a nasty beating. How could I fight that, or even escapes from it? Or maybe I was lucky and all she did was to yell at me and ban me from her store.

“You’ve met?”

“Yes, I was about to get to that part when she interrupted me,” I hastily answered and interrupted Sweetie Belle’s attempt to do so. “She was with her friends, Applebloom and Scootaloo, and I happened to run into them after spending some time by the lake with Pinkie.”

“Ah, so that is where you were yesterday, out with your friends,” Rarity looked like she had found another piece in a puzzle and where it fit in. “I still don’t understand why you would just tell me that though.”

“Well, that isn’t the reason I didn’t tell yo-“

“I’m sure it is just something common to teenagers,” I shot in and interrupted her again. Hopefully the panic in my head didn’t come out of my mouth. “The ones back home where I am from usually don’t like telling their parents what they have been up to.”

“Such rudeness! Sweetie Belle is my sister, not my daughter! I should hope that I don’t look that old!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I just…” If nothing else, I had managed to distract her from what Sweetie Belle had been up to with her friends the day before, at least for a while. “You just seemed to be the one who takes care of her, like a parent would… so I used that word, even though I probably shouldn’t have. Please, I didn’t mean to insinuate that you looked old, quite the opposite…”

Rarities had closed her eyes for a second, and in that time I threw a pleading look at Sweetie Belle for her not to tell Rarity what had happened. To my horror, she got a sinister look on her face, before she nodded and let the expression go again. What had I gotten into now?

“Yeah, Rarity, I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. And you are kinda my mom away from home, even if you are my big sister.”

“Apology accepted,” Rarity said and looked at me, with an expression that said she was a little embarrassed as well. “And I should apologize for taking offense to a comment that was clearly not meant to be. So, I’m sorry I did.”

“Hey, no problem,” I said and pretended to have calmed down. In reality I was still incredibly nervous because of the little ball of trouble that had interrupted us. What was it that she planned to do?

“Well, I’m going out for a while,” Sweetie Belle said and headed for the entrance. I halfway expected Rarity to stop her, but when the door closed behind her I knew I was in the “safe zone”, for now.

“I think your clothes are done,” Rarity got to her feet and gestured for me to do the same. The mannequin with the clothes, a white tshirt, black casual shirt and dark blue jeans, and a cover to change behind came to us. To my surprise she followed me behind the covered and swapped my clothes herself with her magic.

“I’ll just keep these and send them home with Spike the next time he is here. Is something the matter?” she asked and looked at me. I must have looked a little uncomfortable with her there with me. She was already finished though, so I decided to not make it into a deal. Still, I wondered if she had noted the expansion of what happened in my underpants, which I luckily had been allowed to keep on, and just ignored it, or if she hadn’t seen it at all.

“No, nothing. I just wanted to thank you for the clothes, they fit perfectly.”

“Well, of course they do, I did design them to. And I am most pleased you like them, as simple as they are.”

“Well, your dress is simple and it does wonders by showing of your natural beauty.”

Like with Twilight, although a bit more appropriate this time, I had let my mouth run without thinking about it. Luckily, Rarity didn’t take it as anything other than a compliment.

“Thank you, that is very generous of you to say,” she seemed to get a slight glow to her when I complimented her and she gave me a sweet smile. “Now, I would love for you to stay and talk, but I have some orders I need to finish. Can you be back here tomorrow morning, so we can start on your payment for your clothes?”

“Sure, I can do that,” she followed me to the entrance and held the door open for me with her magic. “You have a nice day, Rarity. And good luck with those orders.”

**

I had started to walk in the direction of Twilight’s house, but after a few minutes I felt something tug on my left hand. I looked down and saw what I recognized to be Sweetie Belle’s magic. Shortly later I saw her horn glow in the shadow of a large house and set my course for her. Time to see what it was she was up to.

“So, what is it?” I asked her, in a low voice.

“You don’t want me to tell Rarity what happened yesterday, right?” she followed my example of keeping the voice low, but her sinister look from before was back. I nodded in response. “Okay, then you’re going to have to do a favor for me. I want you to meet me at the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse after the sun sets tonight.”

With that she just walked off, leaving me alone. Now I had one crazy girl who showed up pretty much everywhere and disappeared at random, and I had this one blackmailing me.