Dear Diary

I am starting to get the feel that this town is crazy…

“Hey!”

I looked up at the sky. Why? Because someone had tackled me, and now gave me a squeezing hug, though it didn’t impede my vision. In other words, looking to the sky had not been a choice, but an immediate effect of had just happened: Pinkie Pie.

Probably for the hundredth time I asked myself two things: Why is Pinkie Pie not in a mental hospital, or at least on some drugs to slow her down, and how can this girl have so much energy all the time? Did she convert sugar into the biological equivalence of rocket fuel instead of digesting it normally? Even as I asked myself the questions, she had jumped to her feet, much like that time outside of the cupcake store; in defiance of the laws of physics, and had subsequently picked me up and now jumped around with me on her back, laughing while she was at it.

“I found you! I found you! I found you!”

No shit. While she laughed and yelled, and naturally no one looked at us more than a second before apparently deciding that this was just the normal order of the day here and carried on without as much as a raised eyebrow, I was tossed around, unable to look at anything for more than a second or two. It was more than a little nauseating.

“Pinkie! Let. Me. Down! Omf.”

Ah, the ground. My new best friend. And between it and Pinkie, the more predictable one. The ground would be there no matter what. Pinkie came and went as she pleased, seemingly without regard for the laws of nature. I had to ask Twilight about that sometime. Surely she would be able to tell me just how crazy Pinkie was. Or tell me how poorly I understood the world I was in. Both would be a win.

“Hey!”

Pinkie yelled out again at me and joined me in another hug on the ground. Joined as in forced me into it, again. I couldn’t help but wonder what she was up to now. She always seemed to be up to something.

“Hey, Pinkie,” I relied and tried to push her off me, to no avail. That rocket fuel worked wonders; giving her superhuman strength whenever she wanted to hug someone. Maybe I should try to dissect her and find out if it was possible to transplant her digestive system into me instead; having that much energy would be useful. And maybe a little tiresome after a while. Would it be worth it? Looked at Pinkie and her smile, I’d say definitely not. Being that happy all the time had to be a mask of sorts. Or maybe she was just insane. Given my recent time spent with her, I’d say both were about equally probable. No, wait; insane sounded more probable.

“Hey!” again with the greeting. “How is my bestest new friend doing today!?”

She expected a whole lot to change in the hour or so we had been separated? Unless my memory had been corrupted by some spell, I was pretty sure I had spent some time with Pinkie just before I visited Rarity. And Rainbow Dash before that.

“I am still doing fine, thank you.”

“Yippi! Then we can have some fun!”

If that fun involved the two of us in a situation not too far from the “picnic” we had had yesterday, I would be all for it. That had been one hell of an experience. However, if that fun involved something else, I would need a lot of convincing. I was sure that the more time I spent around her, the more likely I was to get into some crazy catastrophe. And while most people think something along the lines of “I really want something crazy to happen to me, so I’ll have a unique experience”, myself included, it being within the vicinity of possibility made it seem like a bad idea. Maybe it was just me, but tempting fate was never a good thing. Like saying the day couldn’t get any worse after getting of the spacecraft with only one change of black, menacing robes, then a few hours later finding yourself being thrown down a bottomless pit to your death by your former intern. Fate seemed to be easy to tempt.

“What sort of fun did you have in mind?” I might as well get this over with and either my hopes would be rewarded, or crushed right away. Tension plus Pinkie seemed like a bad idea. Actually, most things plus Pinkie seemed like a bad idea in my mind, with, naturally, a few exceptions. “I am not going to get hurt, am I?”

“Of course not, Silly!” Pinkie had finally let me up from the ground, and now she ran around me and brushed the dust and earth that had gotten to my new clothes. “There, all cleaned up! Sort of.”

“Are you sure about that, Pinkie?”

“Yes, I just brushed all the mud of you myself.”

Not what I had meant, but whatever. And it wasn’t mud; it was earth and dust, thankfully. Mud would be a bit harder to get out of the clothes. When Pinkie smiled at me like she did, I just couldn’t bring myself to correcting her. For one, it didn’t really matter. I was sure Pinkie had a different view of what could lead to getting hurt than, well, sane people. And secondly; why do something to ruin her good mood? While I had my share of issues with Happy Pinkie, I didn’t think Sad Pinkie would be the solution to those problems. She seemed to be too extreme in her ways. Sad Pinkie would probably be Very Sad Pinkie, on the border of Depressed Pinkie. And Depressed Pinkie sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. She’d probably start to make a world of her own, with weird inanimate friends that she used to convince herself she was happy. Or murder someone and making clothes of their skin to always be near someone she cared about. Which she would use as an inanimate friend to convince herself she was happy. Wait, how did my mind get into this topic? Now I wasn’t just mildly annoyed by her in a way that somehow always turned out to be preferable to not being in her presence, but also scared out of my mind.

“So, what sort of fun did you have in mind?” my heart started to beat faster and I could feel I had started to sweat a little. And my right hand was shaking. Now I had done it.

“Just a little surprise for you.”

Don’t think about Depressed Pinkie! Don’t think about Depressed Pinkie! Don’t think about Depressed Pinkie! Don’t you fucking think about Depressed Pinkie! Not thinking about Depressed Pinkie became my little challenge of the moment. It had been something like “don’t lose self-control and screw those teenagers”, which I had horribly failed at, or “don’t lose self-control and grab Rarity without her permission”, which I had luckily succeeded at, before. Now it was to not imagine this overly happy girl go mad and murder someone and wear their skin as clothes. I had watched way too many horror movies and, apparently, not enough porn. Which was strange, as the ration was usually 1 to infinity in porn’s favor.

“Surprise?”

“Yeah, there are someone I totally think you should meet!”

Someone I should meet? So no snusnu then. Or maybe it would be, but I shouldn’t count on it. Oh well, I might as well go along with it. If nothing else, it seemed that the people in this town were really friendly. It was a bit creepy, but I could get over that. Also, did she misspeak, or did she consciously use the plural “are” instead of the singular “is” when referring to the one, or ones, I should meet? I guess it was only a matter of time before I found out either way.

**

Pinkie dragged me through town, though luckily at a slower pace than what had been usual the last two days. I only had to tell her to take it a little bit slower. It actually worked better than I thought. Still, it went by in decent speed, but at least I had a semblance of control this time around. I should, hopefully, be able to not being thrown to the ground when she simply stopped moving.

It turned out I was right; when Pinkie stopped moving, I had enough time to think and react, and so I was able to stop a few feet after having passed by her. She had taken me to a building. Or probably a store, considering that it had a sign outside. A snow white skinned girl with blond hair, accompanied by a horseshoe of all things. First impressions? Not something for me, but I might as well give it a chance. Judging by the sun, there was still four or so hours until dusk.

“Okay, so go on inside and tell them that Pinkie Pie sent you. I made some arrangements while you visited Rarity, so all is fine. They will explain further. Gotta go!”

I used my left index finger to rub the bridge of my nose. Even trying to ask Pinkie a question right now was folly; that girl had put her jet engine to accelerate and was too far away by the time I had even comprehended what she told me. I was pretty sure she could beat just about any athlete on earth in sprinting; what she did seemed to simply be beyond the human body to achieve. Maybe a car would be a nice competition for her.

I had to admit I was pretty nervous when I slowly approached the door. What sort of people would I meet inside? And what was it that Pinkie had arranged? After the cupcake incident with Rainbow Dash, I had a hard time imagining it being something I could rationally predict. Maybe I should pull a random idea out of my ass? After heat-inducing cupcakes, the rational part of my mind was not entirely reliable in predicting the world around me. Oh, and the magic and flying people in strange colors didn’t make that an easy task to begin with. Another thing I had to note down in the mental list of things to ask Twilight, though at the moment I couldn’t remember half of them. Too nervous for what waited on the other side of this door. I could have taken a few steps to the left and looked through a window, but I wasn’t thinking quite clearly.

The door swung out in front of me as soon as I came up to it. So I didn’t have to knock. At least I saved myself that embarrassment, meeting whoever it was I was supposed to meet in the doorway. I hated that shit. Inside I saw a reception, but it was empty. The walls were navy blue with leaf and plant decor.

“Hello, I’m Aloe,” someone said from my left.

“And I am Lotus Blossom,” another one said from my right.

“How may we serve you?” they both asked in unison.

My heart took another workout session in my throat, before the two who had spoken walked out into my field of view. The one who was on my left, Aloe, had pink skin, slightly lighter than Pinkie Pie’s, and had very light blue hair that was styled to go backwards from her forehead. She wore a white headband of sorts, and V-necked shirt with buttons and no sleeves in the same color as her hair, and something that resembled black yoga pants. She also had light blue eyeshade. Lotus Blossom looked just like Aloe, but the colors were opposite. She had light blue skin and pink hair, shirt and eyeshade. If I had ever laid eyes on twins, it was now. But at least these two would be easy to tell apart, if you could keep the names straight. Both of them had dark blue eyes though.

I just stood and blushed for a moment. I had noticed that their outfits were rather tight fitted and showed just about every curve on their bodies. They had nearly identical figures; slim, with plenty of curves in the right areas. They didn’t quite have the c-cups of Pinkie Pie, but they weren’t that much smaller. Large b-cups maybe?

“Yeah, umm… Hi, I was told that Pinkie Pie had… um… made some arrangements for me here?”

“Oh, you must be the new guy in town then. I thought it might be you, but it was not my place to make assumptions,” Aloe said and beamed at me. She and Lotus waved for me to follow them through one of the doors I hadn’t had time to notice before now. “Please, come with us, we have arranged to give you the full tour of the finer points of relaxation.”

Some twenty minutes later I was lying on my stomach while Aloe massaged my back. It felt good, she was quite good at finding the tense spots and loosen them up, but it would be clear to anyone who saw my face that this was not exactly something I wanted to spend a lot of time on. There was a reason I didn’t go to spas back home; it felt like a waste of time.

“Is something the matter?” Aloe asked me. “It seems I am not getting anywhere; I have worked on this same spot several times now. Something must bother you, you keep getting tense over and over.”

“Well, I…” I looked up at Lotus, who stood in front of us, but I wasn’t entirely sure what to say; there was a lot that potentially bothered me. For one, there was Pinkie Pie and her crazy antics. Secondly, I was in a world I didn’t quite understand with magic and the like. Thirdly, I was being blackmailed by a teenager I had screwed, against my better judgment, earlier. And fourth, I was in what I considered to be an entirely pointless situation. “I don’t want to be rude, as you are doing a wonderful job, but this spa and massage thing is really not for me.”

The two of them looked at each other for a moment. What now? I hoped I hadn’t insulted them; they seemed like a nice pair. And I hoped Pinkie wouldn’t mind, she had paid for this, as I understood it. I really had to pay her back sometime. That went for everyone who had spent money on me, actually. I was pretty much a freeloader here these days.

“We are very sorry to hear that, aren’t we Aloe?”

“Yes, Lotus, we are very sorry to hear that. What should we do about it?”

“We have to refund Pinkie; she did pay for the treatment after all.”

“Yes, but we lose a lot of business on that, since we had to turn down many other clients.”

“You’re right, Aloe, we would lose a lot by doing that.”

“Well, Lotus, we should listen to the customer. They are always right, after all.”

“You’re right, we should. What do you think we should do?”

I was pretty sure they had said those things to make me feel a bit guilty about this, and it worked. If they had to refund Pinkie and had turned down other clients to accept me, if would be very rude to stop them from doing it and lose money on it. And I couldn’t say I had much better things to do. I was mostly just waiting for nightfall to see what Sweetie Belle wanted.

“Well, I…” once again with the phrase I hated to hear myself say. It was pretty clear to me that I had nothing productive to say about this. Sure, I could have suggested a tumble in the hay, but that might result in being kicked out. And it would be rightfully so, they were at work and I didn’t see a sign that said brothel outside. Not to mention it would be awkward. “It would be rude of me to cost you business, since you had to turn down other clients.”

“Our client agrees with us, Lotus.”

“It would appear so, Aloe.”

“So what should we do to keep him satisfied, if he is not into spa activities?”

“We could give him the VIP treatment. What Pinkie paid us should cover it, since she paid for most all treatments.”

“Yes, we could. I am sure he will find that more enjoyable than the normal services we offer.”

The VIP treatment? My mind went into overdrive and tried to figure out what that could mean. Or rather, I tried to come up with thoughts that did not involve snusnu when I thought about what it could mean. The two of them showed me to a flight of stairs and asked me to wait for them upstairs.

**

The room looked a lot like the downstairs one I had been in. I couldn’t really think of too many things this VIP treatment could be. Everything this room looked capable of doing would be possible downstairs. Except one thing: There was a double bed without pillows or duvet.

I walked over to the only window in the room and looked down on the street. It was, as far as I could tell, set right above the entrance. In the corner of my eye I saw something pink disappear around a corner. Probably Pinkie Pie, I told myself.

“Hello,” I heard Lotus and Aloe say in unison from behind me. When I turned around I saw that they had changed their attire. Or, to put it in a more accurate way, they had simply taken off everything except the headband, bra and panties. The two later was in the same color as their hair, as most seemed to be with these two. “Now, please lay down so we can get started.”

I had two immediate reactions to this; blood started to flow to my loins, and I remained still, almost in a sort of shock. My mind had definitely gone to this place with them already, but, like with Pinkie, I was a little hesitant when actually put in this situation.

“It seems he is a little shy, Aloe.”

“Indeed, Lotus.”

The two of them walked over to me and each took hold of one of my hands. My body returned to a state where I could move and I obediently followed them over to the bed I had noticed earlier. So that was what that was for.

Just as I was about to lay down, a link hand stopped me, before a pair of blue hands started to take of my shirt. The pink pair moved down to unbutton my pants. A few seconds later I was pushed down on the bed, naked.

“It would appear you were right, Aloe, he does seem to enjoy this more than our usual services,” Lotus took hold of her sister’s shoulders and placed her right in front of my uncovered, formally undercover spa guest.

“Oh!”

I let out a loud moan as Aloe’s lips spread over the head and introduced it to her tongue. It worked in circles, while her hands had found their way to my shaft. With a teasingly soft grip, her fingers ran along it, from top to bottom and up again. I could see her dark blue eyes stare straight into mine.

My view of Aloe’s work was quickly obscured: Lotus had leaned in from my right and locked her lips to mine. I could feel her tongue in my mouth, demanding attention. Her pink hair started to fall out of the style it had been in and surrounded her face. Her eyes were closed. And I could still feel Aloe’s tongue.

While she kissed me, I felt that she moved her body on top of mine. She rested against my chest. My hands, no longer restrained by my inhibitions, found themselves on her back and slowly moved their way in Aloe’s direction. Lotus had taken of her underwear.

“I think he is ready, Lotus.”

Aloe had parted her lips from me, but her hands remained where they had been. Lotus broke the kiss and turned her head to her sister and nodded. Moments later I felt something being rolled down over my erection; these girls took safe sex seriously, thankfully. The thought of that made me regret not at least trying to protect myself earlier, but that thought was almost instantly driven from my mind when Lotus pushed down on me.

“Ah!”

Another moan escaped me, this time louder. My hips started to move back and forth to match the movements the blue girl started to make.

Her muscles massaged my head and shaft with every move we made. The pressure in me started to build. Lotus had started to blush and, as I saw the movement of her lips, suppressing moans, again with her eyes closed.

“Aloe!” Suddenly her eyes flew open and she stopped in her tracks. In what I thought to be a form of shock, she looked back at her sister.

“Don’t worry, sister, we both know you enjoy this. Please, don’t keep our customer waiting.”

“Hnng!”

Whatever it was Aloe was doing, it had an immediate effect on Lotus. She continued to move, but now she was unable to contain the moans anymore. In what might have been a desperate attempt to silence herself, Lotus once more locked lips with me. In unison we tried our best to not moan into each other, but to no avail. The kiss was constantly broken, despite our best efforts.

The blue girl stopped moving again and broke the kiss. Aloe took a hold of me and pulled me out of her sister.

“Time for the finish, no?” Aloe locked eyes with her sister, who slowly nodded. With a surprisingly quick move, she turned around on top of me so her back rested on my chest. Without thinking, I moved my hands to her clit and breast.

“Ahh!”

Lotus screamed as Aloe took me and placed my head at a much tighter hole than what I just left, and pushed it in. I started to push in as far as it got and slowly pull out again. And in and out again. For each time Lotus became louder and I felt the pressure had started to reach critical levels. From the touches against my hand, I concluded that Aloe worked on the entrance I had just left.

“Hnng!”

I couldn’t hold it anymore. The warm liquid shot forth and started to envelop my member within the condom. As I felt myself go soft, Aloe pulled me out and stood up. Looking up at her face, I thought that Lotus must have been a squirter.

“That was… awesome…” I said as Lotus crawled off me.

“It sure looked like fun,” the pink girl said as she helped her sister and looked at me with her deep blue eyes. “You must come back sometime; I really want to feel what you can do for myself.”