After Celestia had informed her guards on the situation, I let them up and summoned an ice cream cone for each of the guards. I walked past the now totally confused pony guards and looked over the large gold doors to throne room. It had vines and images of ponies dancing and prancing through fields of tall grass. I slowly pushed open the doors to see two thrones. One was made out gold, and one made out of silver. The walls were made out of marble and has many stained glass windows depicting Equestria’s history. I walked over to the thrones and summoned up a throne made out of Star Rubies....Did I mention that it is floating ten feet above the other thrones? I then teleported up to it and laid across its arms.

“This is heavenly.” I sighed out as the Ruby chair felt like it was made out of memory foam. I turned my head to the ponies that were looking at me funnily and I shrug my shoulders. I look at my hand and summoned up my mobile phone and check the time.

“Huh it’s 12:00 at night from where I’m from. What is the time here at the moment?” I asked in a bored tone as I looked over to the ponies and waited for them to answer me.

“Its actually the same here. I wonder why that is?” Twilight asked me as I looked at her.

“Well I don’t know really, though if I would guess I would say that our worlds are linked somehow which is why Discord was able to reach me in my dreams.” I mused to myself as I looked at the ceiling.

I teleported down to the floor and stood up normally and waved my hand at a normally vacant piece of wall which now has a plain wooden door embedded into it. I walked over to the door and opened it and there was a complete copy of my house from home minus the windows. The ponies came over to look at the new rooms and gasped at what they saw. They walked into the house that shouldn't exist and the more they saw the lower their jaws got.

“Welcome to my home.” I beamed with a dramatic wave of my arms as I walked towards the kitchen to start to cook some dinner for myself and the ponies.

“Why are you cooking instead of just making it out of thin air?” Celestia asked as she looked at me making some pizza dough.

“Well thats simple. Chaos food doesn’t have any nutrients in it.” I  answered to the Princess as I took out some pepperoni to put on my pizza.

“What is that you are putting on your pizza?” Asked Twilight as she looked over my shoulder and frowned at the smell.

“Well to answer that I need to explain a few things. First of which is that on my planet Humans are the only sapient species, second is that humans are omnivores so we need to have protein in our diet.” I said not looking over at the ponies. I heard a gasp and I turned around the Princesses were standing defensively in front of the other ponies.

“We won’t let you eat our subjects!” The Princesses boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice their horns starting to glow menacingly. They both took a step towards me and their magic suddenly shorted out. They looked at me with confusion on their faces.

“Ok lets all calm down, I would never kill and eat a sapient creature that would be cannibalism even though you're different species, so just chill.” I said slowly to them. As I talked they slowly started to relax and stand normally.

“So what types of meat do humans normally eat?” Asked Pinkie Pie as she looked closely at my pizza almost like the pepperoni held the secrets to the universe.

“Don’t be stupid, the pepperoni doesn’t hold any secrets, author your silly.”*Stop breaking the fourth wall Paradox*”Alright..fine. And to answer your question Pinkie, we mostly eat pigs, cows, some fowls, and almost all types of fish. But seeing as only the fowls and fish here aren’t sapient on this world I guess I will be importing most of my meat from earth.” I said in one breath as I didn’t like talking about meat to vegetarians and I find myself disliking it more now that i am surrounded by them.

“Yes you definitely will.” Said Celestia in a cold tone. That wasn’t necessary, but seeing as she is in control of the sun and also seeing as her sister is second to best pony, I will allow her that statement.

“Applejack what do you think? I will say that it is possible for me to survive indefinitely without meat should I go vegetarian.” I asked her as she is best pony and I would do almost anything for her.

“I think that if you ate animals to survive that would be one thing, but to eat them because they taste good to you is wrong.” Said Applejack with with steely look in her eyes.

“I was afraid of that. After this there will be no more meat for me.” I said with a huff. I looked over at Applejack who had a shocked face.

“Why is it that a threat from the Princess don't phase you, but my word makes you change who you’re willing to be?” Asked Applejack as she looked at me with a weird look. I slowly walked over to her and placed my thumb on her chin and pointer finger under her muzzle.

“Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?” I asked Applejack as she started to blush, but she is a big girl so she nodded her head that yes she would like to know. I leaned over and whispered something into her ear making her blush and scoot back away from me with a look of panic. When she hit the wall she covered her face with her front hooves.

“No..you're a-- Well I what I mean to say is-- Just give me some time to think about that Paradox...” She mumbled out from behind hooves as she tried to breath normally.

“Now are you all ready to taste something that has never touched a pony’s tongue before today?” I asked the group after Applejack has calmed down a bit. After receiving many nods yes I used my magic to pull out the pizzas out of the oven that shouldn’t have been able to hold all of them. I placed them on the table and cut them into nine slices a pizza.

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After what can only be described as a pizza massacre, I levitated the ponies to the bathroom with instructions to get cleaned up. I walked back to the kitchen and cleaned up the dishes and table. I returned to the bathroom to find that all but the princess ponies had fallen asleep. I simply waved my hand and teleported them to their rooms.

“Ok, out with you two. I need to take a shower and get some good looking clothes on.” As I said as I was pushing the princesses out from my home. They both looked confused as I slammed the door in their faces.

I turn around and looked over my home. I walked into my living room which is a half ring of leather chairs around a flat screen tv, I then walked to my my kitchen and drained the sink. The kitchen was mostly marble and quartz. Then I walked to my bedroom and grabbed my fancy suit and cut some holes into it with magic so my wings would fit. My bedroom is a simple thing with a closet bed and clothes dresser.I looked over the room and there was a shower stall, sink and toilet all done up in quartz. I climbed into the shower and started to sing.

“You would not believe your eyes

If ten million fireflies

Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air

And leave teardrops everywhere

You'd think me rude

But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs

From ten thousand lightning bugs

As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head

A sock hop beneath my bed

The disco ball is just hanging by a thread

Thread, thread...

I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

'Cause everything is never as it seems

When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

Ha-ha

To ten million fireflies

I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes

I got misty eyes as they said farewell

Said farewell

But I'll know where several are

If my dreams get real bizarre

'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

Jar, jar, jar...

I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

'Cause everything is never as it seems

I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

Because my dreams are bursting at the seams”

As the final words of the song passed through my lips I heard stamping of hooves I turned around and saw Luna looking at me with happiness joy.

“Argh! Get out, get out!!!” I yelled toward the princess as she looked over my frame. I used my magic to teleport her out of the bathroom and then put up a shield of energy so nothing could see or get in.

“That was not cool.” I yelled to Luna who was standing outside the door.

“Why would seeing you without clothes on be a bad thing?” Inquired Luna as she looked at the door with a confused look on her face.

“It is taboo for a human to be seen without their clothes on by someone who is not their lover.” I said to Luna as I stepped out of the shower and started to dry off.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable Paradox.” Luna said to me with a sheepish voice.

“It’s fine you didn’t know. But if you do it again there will be some problems.” I stated my warning as I put on my clothes and walked out into the brown hallway. After saying this, Luna blushed thinking of what exactly what her seeing me implied.

I was dressed in my finest suit. Black slacks, fake leather shoes, white button up shirt, red tie, black dress jacket with gold buttons. I slowly spun on the spot to show off to Luna. After two full turns I stopped and walked to the cane stand and grabbed my black cane that had a secret sword inside. I checked the time and found that it was 8:00 am.

“Well Luna lets get introductions out of the way shall we?” I said as I walked to the door and flung it open. I walked out into the throne room and sauntered over to Celestia and bowed as she is still royalty.

“Good morning, how fares you princess?” I asked as I returned to a vertical stance.

“Hello to you too Paradox. I’m doing fine.” Celestia answered to me as I jumped up to my throne and waved to Luna who still had a slight blush.

“Well Celey, lets get todays petitioners out of the way.” As I said this I waved my hand and the doors grated as they sank into the floor. About fifty-five noble ponies walked into the throne room but all stopped when they caught sight of me. After a few moments of whispering one pony walked forward and bowed to the princesses.

“Excuse me Princess Celestia, but it seems that there is a monster in the room.” Stated a pony that I knew to be Twilights mother. Celestia was about to speak but I beat her to the punch.

“Miss Sparkle, to suggest that I am a monster by looks alone is extremely racist. I demand an apology.” I laughed out as Twilights mother’s jaw slowly opened and closed as she thought I was a stupid animal.

“I...I..apologize, my behavior was...uncalled for...” Twilight’s mom apologized wearily as she bowed to me as I am sitting in a throne. I floated down to her the other ponies backing away in fear. I picked her up with my magic I looked into her eyes and put her down on all four legs.

“Please don’t bow to me. I am not royalty, just a simple adviser to the princesses.” I explained as I floated up to my throne.

“Now Miss Sparkle. How can we help you today?” Asked Celestia as she “tried” to hold in a smile.

“Well you asked me and Banknote to look over the taxes that we are going to levy this year. But we came to an impasse, you see Mister Note wants to raise taxes but there are families that can barely pay taxes as it is raising the taxes would all but kill them.” Miss Sparkle ranted with a fierce look on her face.

“Well that is a problem as we need those taxes to pay for damages that the great dragon wars brought onto the land.” Celestia counter pointed as she looked at me with a knowing smile.

“Paradox, do you have a idea as to how we could raise the taxes to start repairing the damages?” Celestia asked me knowing that I knew how to fix their outdated system.

“Why yes I do but to do that I will have to explain an advanced system of math. Are you ready?” I asked Celestia and the assembled as I already knew that math subjects past multiplying and division weren't known on this planet.

“Yes we are!” Answered the entire room at once almost making me laugh at their eager faces.

“Alright here we go.” As I said this I magicked up a pie and cut it into 5 pieces.

“Alright too make this easier lets use fractions shall we? “ I asked while holding the pie together with magic. I received much head nodding so I continued.

“Alright if I take all five pieces of the pie and add them together what do I have?” I asked as I floated the pie over the ponies heads so they could see.

“You get a whole.” Answered Luna as she is the most studios mare in the room. I nodded my head.

“But you also get 100% of a pie as well.” I stated while getting confused faces from the ponies in the room.

“What is this “percent” you speak of? We have not heard anything like it before.” Asked Princess Luna.

“Well I am glad you asked. It is an advanced form of fractions.” I answered to Luna directly as she stared at the pie hoping to learn its secrets from observation.

“Please explain.” Celestia said will intrigue written all over her face.

“Alright, here we go. Lets take one piece of the pie and look at it closely. One who would use fractions would say you have 1/5 but if you were using percents you would have 20%. How to figure out percent is take the top number from the fraction and multiply it to 100, then take the number that you multiplied by and do the same to the bottom number and then you will get your percent.” I finished my lecture on percents and I looked over the room and found that the ponies had their jaws on the floor. Again.

“So instead of just taking the same amount of money from everypony just take a percent out of their income that way the rich will pay more money than the poor because they can afford it.” Miss Sparkle yelled as she finally started to get the idea She walked out of the room and Prince Blueblood walked up with a nasty look on his face.

‘Oh this is going to be fun.’ I mentally whispered to myself.

*Edited by ManJack40* Next Chapter: Chapter 3 Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 45 Minutes