Mark and Jed have been in Equestria for a month now, if you count the previous weeks. Jed had gotten a bit better at his plant collecting, meaning he didn’t hurt himself as much, while Mark had learned a lot of the candies and where they were placed in the candy store. It also came to the attention of a certain solar goddess that not only did they know little about these humans. Another certain Alicorn had yet to meet this delightful bunch.

“But Tiiiaaaaa! I don’t want to go meet the aliens!” Luna complained as she was dragged to a carriage by her sister’s magic. “I just want to find out who those two newbies are that kept winning games against me in Haylo 4!”

Celestia sighed and lifted her sister from the ground and put her on her hooves. She also removed Luna’s headset and coat with all of the game consoles logos on it. “You have to meet them now, so in the future you don’t blast them to the moon in fright.” Celestia said.

“But Tii-” Luna began before she was silenced by her sister’s hand clamping her muzzle shut.

“Ap ap ap. You are going with me and that is final.” Celestia said as she handed Luna’s gear to a nearby maiden who grabbed it and headed straight for Luna’s room. “Besides, I need to check up on them anyway to see how they are adjusting.”

“Fine... But I won’t enjoy it.” Luna said sourly as she trudged to the carriage and got inside. Celestia rolled her eyes and walked with her sister to the carriage. With nothing else keeping them, the two princesses left the gleaming city of Canterlot.

Soon they arrived at Ponyville with very little trouble. Thankfully not that many ponies saw the carriage land in Ponyville, but soon word would spread, so Luna and Celestia got out of the carriage. Luna more or less rushed into the library while Celestia did her normal regal walk into the library only to see a confused Twilight Sparkle that still ran up and hugged Celestia while Celestia returned the favor.

“Celestia! It’s so good to see you! How are you and Luna?” Twilight asked. “Also what is with the surprise visit?”

“Me and Luna are fine, thank you Twilight.” Celestia began as Luna quietly added.

“I actually I didn’t want to come...”

“Aaaanyway.” Celestia began again casting an annoyed glance at her sister. “We just came to get Luna familiar with our new alien residents and to check up on them.”

Celestia ended the hug and smiled warmly while Luna walked over and sat down on the couch in the most regal manner she could, which made Twilight silently giggle. Celestia added her own small giggle as she also walked over with Twilight and sat down. Twilight sat on a chair next to the couch and gave a bit of small talk.

“Sister, may I please at least play on my PSVita?” Luna begged her sister. Celestia rolled her eyes and nodded reluctantly, knowing her sister would keep begging until she gave her the puppy dog eyes. ‘A dirty move on her part.’ Celestia grumbled in her thoughts. Luna’s eyes lit up as she pulled out her PSVita and began to play random on her gaming device and put her over-the-ear headphones onto her ears.

“So how are the humans doing?” Celestia asked smiling warmly.

“Oh they are adjusting amazingly!” Twilight said almost replicating Celestia’s smile. “They acquired jobs a couple weeks back and have been doing just amazingly well!”

“Oh really? Pray tell what are their jobs?” Celestia asked.

“Well... Jed helps out Zecora find plants for her brews and potions, which have been selling like wildfire since she has been getting the necessary ingredients.” Twilight said. “And Mark got a job at Bon Bon’s candy store.”

“Interesting. Has Jed had any trouble with any animals Everfree?” Celestia asked.

“Well... Not that I have heard. He usually comes home with a couple cuts or bruises, but he says those are usually from his clumsiness.” Twilight said tapping her chin. “Plus he bought a fox kit when he got his first pay. A little weird, but those two are how did Jed say it? Ah! ‘Thicker than thieves’.”

“What an odd analogy.” Celestia noted. Twilight nodded still smiling. “So what about Mark?”

“He seemed a bit put off at first then he went out one day and then he simply hit it off and got a job at Bon Bon’s shop with the help of his friend Lyra.” Twilight said smiling. ‘Not to mention his weird habit of calling me his mother.’ She thought to herself. “He seems to like his job at the candy shop.”

“Well that is great!” Celestia said enthusiastically. “I am glad they are adjusting well.”

“I am too. They even made a few friends! The local Mail-mare, our music store owner, Mark’s boss Bon Bon, Lyra Heartstrings, and Jed’s boss Zecora.” Twilight listed then her expression went crestfallen. “All of my friends seem to have gotten used to them, although Rainbow still doesn’t like them! I think she is just has a serious case of Xenophobia.”

“I see.” Celestia said as she thought over what Twilight had told her. She then turned back to Twilight. “Do you know what they like to do in their free time?”

“Well... I know they like to listen to plenty of music. Some of it a bit explicit, but other than that it’s not that bad. They like to walk around for no reason. They hang out with their friends a lot. Mark likes to drive his car around. Jed likes to draw.” Twilight listed off as her cheeks slightly tinted at remember the picture Jed had drawn. “Other than that... Not much else comes to mind.”

“Hmmm.” Celestia hummed. Twilight simply smiled and stood up before she walked to the kitchen.

“Would you like some tea Celestia?” Twilight asked. Celestia nodded before she added.

“Would you by chance have any soda for Luna? She apparently has grown to love that fizzy beverage.” Celestia just gave a small chuckle at her sister’s new addictions since coming back from the moon.

“I think I do. Mark and Jed bought plenty and stored it in the fridge. Although the way they go through that stuff I wouldn’t be surprised if it was empty of them.” Twilight said laughing a bit. She walked into the kitchen and came out a few minutes later with a tray with two tea cups, a kettle of tea, and a can of Bucka-Cola. “Tea for us, soda for Luna.”

“Thank you Twilight. It is much appreciated to be treated like a normal pony for once.” Celestia said smiling happily as Twilight handed her a cup and poured her some tea as Twilight floated the can of soda to Luna, whom simply grabbed it from the air on reflex as she never took her eyes off of the game.

“She really likes those video games doesn’t she?” Twilight asked.

“Oh you have no idea. You should see her room.” Celestia said in an exasperated tone. “She has game posters all over her walls, soundtracks littering her Ipony, and even better hundreds if not thousands of ‘Collectible’ figurines.”

“You’re kidding!” Twilight said snickering.

“I kid you not! I will even take a picture next time I am in her room!” Celestia said laughing. That was when the roar of a engine was heard from outside. It got closer until it was right outside and suddenly stopped. There was a bit of a ruckus before a set of doors slammed almost in sync and the door was opened revealing the two notorious humans.

“Sup Mom?” Mark said before walking into his room, and shutting the door.

“Hey Mum.” Jed said as Ruby ran under his legs and began to run in circles before laying on the carpet while Jed went to his room as well. Celestia looked to Twilight whom was facepalming in embarrassment at the moment.

“Sooo... You’re a mother now. You forgot to mention that.” Celestia said trying to hold back laughter. Mark just came out of his room again and walked into the kitchen, and there was some rummaging around heard, before he yelled.

“Jed you fucker! You ate my ice cream again!”

“Don’t leave it out next time! You know I love mint choco chip!” Jed shouted coming out his room.

“Great fucking excuse! You owe me like ten bits!” Mark yelled back.

“Oh ice cream does not cost that much!” Jed said walking down the stairs.

“Yes! It does! They have increased the damn cost of it!” Mark said back.

“Oh really?” Jed said walking into the kitchen as he stopped yelling.

“Yeah check the price tag.” Mark said.

“Oh damn. You’re right. Here you go.” Jed said as there was some clinking of coins was heard.

“Alright, I’m going to fetch a big tub this time.” Mark said walking out of the kitchen and walking to the front door. “Cya later mo-”

“Oi Mark! Catch!” Jed shouted throwing a small bag of bits at Mark.

“Huh?” Mark said looking over to Jed and seeing how the bit bag was flying towards him, he flailed around for a few seconds before ever so gracefully catching the bag. And by that I mean he face planted.

“Smoooth.... Vanilla bean please.” Jed said from the kitchen.

“I know right... Okay, right back in like ten minutes or so.” Mark said getting up again.

“Please hurry. I’d like not to have to go on another man hunt again just because you like reading the porn mags!” Jed shouted.

“Says the one who have like a stack of nude pics in his room.” Mark said narrowing his eyes.

“Hey!... I bought those.” Jed said firmly. “You just sit there and read them like comic books! Now go!”

“Yeah cause its Intres-” Mark began.

“GO!” Jed said again only emphasizing the word even more so.

“Fine... Asswipe.” Mark muttered.

“Douchebag.” Jed said.

“Be back in ten.... Cya mom.” Mark said, as he opened the door.

“Hey! Get back in here!” Twilight said as she pulled him back in with magic and closed the door.

“B-But! .... Ice cream!” Mark complained. “We need more of it!”

“You can get some later.” Twilight said.

“Oh come on mom!” Mark complained.

“Oh just hush up and stay still. Someone wants to talk to you!” Twilight said smiling happily.

“That body was dead when I got there!” Mark said quickly.

“Wait what?” Twilight said.

“Don’t worry just go with it.” Jed said walking out with a soda in his hand.

“Alright.... Oh hey! Gimmie a cola!” Mark said.

“Ugh fine. Catch.” Jed said tossing him the unopened can of Cola. Mark just catched it and opened it, and taking a sip. Jed just walked back and came out again with another soda.

“Mmm... Sugary energy....” Mark said.

“Riiiiiight... Anyway, as you can see Princess Celestia is here to check up on how you are doing.” Twilight said gesturing to the solar princess.

“Oh hey Celestia!” Jed said waving as he used one hand to open his soda.

“Who now?” Mark said, looking confused.

“Oh just the ruler of the country. No big deal.” Jed said.

“Oh right.” Mark said shrugging. “So, what did she want to talk about?”

“Well, I wanted to see how you two were adapting to your lives here.” Celestia said with a sweet smile.

“Horrible.... Horrible.... I figured out that.... THERE IS NO CREAM SODA!”

“Uuuuh... You can buy that at the supermarket.” Jed said. “I saw it there when we were there the other week.”

“Fuck supermarkets, I have to take the car there. I like the convenient store more.” Mark said.

“Only cause it has porn.” Jed said.

“Shut up.... And your nude pics.” Mark said.

“Hey at least I admit it!” Jed said snickering.

“Well fuck you too then.” Mark said.

“Aaaaaaaaaanyway. Carrying on.” Twilight said.

“Right, I also came down with my sister so you three could meet.” Celestia said smiling as she gestured to her Lunar counterpart..

“But we were going to go to Vinyl’s to play video games!... And I was going to play League!” Mark complained. “Can we go now?”

“Wait... Did I hear someone say video games?” Luna said taking her headphones off and seeing Mark and Jed. “Good heavens what are they?”

“I’m serious! Its serious business! My whole life is on my computer.” Mark said.

“Mark calm down.” Jed said before he looked to Luna. “Oh hey... I am Jed and this crazy guy is Mark. We’re humans. Nice to meet’cha.”

“Fuck you Jed! I’m not crazy, even though I look crazy.” Mark said at Jed.

“Well I see these two are doing well.” Celestia said rolling her eyes as Twilight nodded with a snicker.

“If this is them being friendly, I’d hate to see them angry at each other.” Twilight replied.

“May I go now?” Mark asked nicely.

“Is there a chance I am going to say yes?” Twilight asked. Mark just went up to Twilight and hugged her.

“Yes, you would Mom.” Mark said nicely.

“... Not going to say anything. Cause it won’t work this time.” Twilight said looking away. Mark just stared at her with teary eyes.

“Please mom?”

“No! Now... Just sit down! You can go later!” Twilight almost forced out as she tried her best not to look at him, failing multiple times.

“Please! I’m begging you!” Mark said getting down on his knees with teary eyes. “Please!”

“Man wants his Ice cream.” Jed said staring at Mark.

“Fine! But you have to come right back! Do you understand?” Twilight said caving in, but still trying to hold up a firm tone. Mark just got up from his knees and hugged Twilight again, then giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah! Cya!” Mark said letting her go and rushing out of the door.

“You come right back you hear me!” Twilight shouted at him.

“Yeah mom!” Mark shouted back. “IIIICEE CREAM AHOOOY!”

“... You realize the hell you have unleashed upon those poor store owners?” Jed asked as he walked over and sat in the chair opposite of Twilight. Twilight simply nodded and sat back down in her chair with a small sigh.

“So... ‘Mom’ huh?” Celestia asked with a grin which made Twilight groan.

“He says, I remind him of his mother and that his why he calls me such.” Twilight said sighing and picking up her tea to take a sip.

“Well I can always get the adoption papers if you want.” Celestia said making Twilight inhale her tea and begin to cough very hard.

“What?!” Was all she got out as she smacked her chest a few times to clear her esophagus. Celestia simply laughed lightly and shook her head while Luna simply sat there with the most confused expression anypony has ever seen.

“Can someone please tell me what the heck is going on here!?” Luna almost shouted making Jed spit his soda out at the sudden volume. All of a sudden the front door slammed open and Mark was standing there with a big bag of ice cream.

“Oh ello!” Jed said coughing a bit as he used a napkin to wipe away the sprayed soda.

“Fuck yeah... Ice cream.” Mark said rushing into the kitchen and basically stuffing the freezer with ice cream. He then came back out with a chocolate bar in his hands, and chewing on it.

“Nom nom?” Jed asked.

“Mmmh... Mmmh.” Mark mumbled while nodding.

“That good huh?” Jed asked.

“Mmh.” Mark hummed again.

“Okay now that Mark is back, I would like you two to meet my sister Luna.” Celestia said in her normal warm voice while gesturing to her sister.

“Ello.” Jed said waving at Luna.

“Heyoooo!” Mark said after swallowing his chocolate bar. “That shit was tasty.... Good thing I bought like....” Mark said as he held up his finger and started counting.

“Fifty... No thats too much...” Mark muttered. “Twenty seven... No... Can’t be...:”

“Thirteen?” Jed asked again. Mark just looked up in the roof and thought for a few seconds and looked back down at Jed.

“Somewhere in the teens... Yeah.” Mark said.

“Where’d you get the money for that?” Twilight asked.

“Eh, special prize.” Mark said.

“Right.... Don’t eat too many. I don’t want to have to hold a bucket for you later.” Twilight said rolling her eyes.

“Oh, that reminds me!” Mark said as he ran back into the kitchen and coming out with a bouquet Of roses in his hands, he then gave them to Twilight. “For... Um... Letting us stay here for so long.”

“Awww so sweet.” Jed said waving his fingers together and putting them under his chin. “I didn’t think you had a heart!”

There became a vein on Marks forehead, and a small thundercloud somehow appeared above him. “Hmmm. I have pushed the wrong button apparently.” Jed said plainly as he watched. Mark just slowly inhaled, and exhaled and somehow, there was a steam blowing out of his nose.

“Hmmm.” Jed hummed again as he stood up. He ran in place a moment before taking a runner’s pose and saying. “Feet don’t fail me now!” And proceeded to jump out the window. “HA HA!”

Mark just waited a few seconds before calming down and looking at the window with a confused expresion. “Where is he going? I ate a chili candy...”

“Oh god why!?” Jed shouted as he fell from the ceiling and land on the carpet. “Humans are very sturdy apparently.” He said as his voice was muffled.

“Well....” Mark said scratching his head. “Yeah... So ignore Jed and his crazy antics.”

“I like flying. If only I had wings. I’d be the worst flyer ever.” Jed said still muffled. Twilight simply blinked as she looked from the roses to Jed then to Mark then to Celestia and right back to the roses.

“Thank... You?” She said unsure. Mark just smiled and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“No problem mom! And you are welcome.” He said happily.

“So about those papers...” Celestia said in a teasing manner.

“What papers?” Mark said looking at Celestia with curiosity.

“Oh you know. Adoption and all that good stuff.” Celestia said in a dismissive tone.

“Oh! Thats nice! So who’s getting adopted.” Mark said with a smile.

“Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it.” Twilight kept chanting to herself quietly as Celestia began to speak again.

“Oh just Twilight’s thoughts on her Adopting you and Jed.” Celestia said sweetly.
“.... She is.” Mark said surprised. “That awesome!”

“Well that’s not the answer I was expecting.” Twilight said confused.

“What were you expecting?” Mark asked confused.

“Anything other than what you just said.” Twilight said blinking.

“What? I get to live with an awesome mom!” Mark said happily.

“He does have a point. How often would you hear of a kid whose mom has wings and a horn?” Jed said smiling as he took a sip from his drink.

“.... Wait.... I’m not a kid...” Mark said looking behind him.

“Yoooou kinda are.” Jed said snickering.

“Oh... I just like .... Mom...” Mark said pointing his thumb at Twilight.

“Well not to be a downer, but nothing is official as of yet.” Celestia said.

“Bu-.... But! Aww...” Mark said.

“Operative word being yet.” Celestia said smiling.

“... Right....” Mark said with a smile. “Uh... Wait why are you here again?”

“Oh yes! I forgot in all the excitement. I need to take you and Jed to Canterlot for about a week.” Celestia said going into her ‘Ruler of the land’ tone, sweet yet commanding. Luna however had long since gone back to her game to blot out the world around her.

“W-Wha... Uh.... Where?” Mark asked.

“The big castle on the mountain?” Celestia said pointing out the window.

“There is a castle on a mountain?” Mark said looking out the window. “Huh.... I always thought that was Disney land.”

“Here?” Jed asked.

“Hey you never know.... Disney buys everything nowadays.” Mark said shrugging.

“It’s wrong how true that is.” Jed said shaking his head and leaning back. “So why are we going?”

“Just a few tests to try and such and to get you acquainted a little better with what Equestria has to offer.” Celestia said smiling.

“Well that doesn't seem too bad.” Jed said shrugging. Mark just froze up.

“I heard the word test.... I hate tests!” Mark said shuddering.

“Would you rather me say experiments?” Celestia asked kindly.

“Your high tech vocabulary, is scaring me! Mooom! Make her stop!” Mark whined.

“Calm down Mark. And Celestia stop scaring Mark please.” Twilight said as Celestia rolled her eyes.

“He is fun to mess with though!... Oh fine. In all honesty, we are just going to do a few scans with a few spells and then we are done! The only thing is the tests take a while to collect information and finish.” Celestia said shrugging.

“I don’t things like that... But okay.” Mark said. “I’ll go...”

“Oh Mark is being such a big boy!” Twilight said in a mock motherly tone as she got up and hugged him

“So uncool.” Mark muttered out as he hugged her back.

“Oh you loved it.” Jed said rolling his eyes.

“No!..... Maybe.” Mark said.

“Alright... When would we leave?” Jed asked Celestia.

“Hmm. I would say tomorrow so you may call your work and gather some clothing and or supplies you may need.” Celestia said standing up. “So I would recommend doing that right now and preparing for tomorrow. With everything done, me and Luna must be off.”

“Hmm wha? I heard my name.” Luna said pulling her headphones down again. She saw her sister standing and blushed slightly before she got up and walked outside. Celestia said her goodbyes and left as well leaving Mark, Jed, and Twilight in the library.

“I just realized..... I don’t want to go... Its like the first day of school again!” Mark complained.

“Oh please! It will be fun! You will get to see Canterlot and the castle!” Twilight said trying to cheer him up.

“I don’t like leaving my hom-... I don’t like leaving the villa-.... I just don’t like leaving.” Mark said.

“Oh it’s only one week!” Twilight said smiling. “You’ll be back home before you know it!”

“Fine... If you say so.” Mark said walking towards his room.

“Oi! We gotta go tell our bosses we aren’t gonna be there tomorrow!” Jed asked.

“We can call them....” Mark said tiredly.

“My boss doesn’t have phone!” Jed whined.

“Go there then and tell her.” Mark said waving a dismissive hand.

“You want me to walk into the dark?” Jed deadpanned. “Into a forest?”

“Slenderman will get you.” Mark said.

“I think it’s Slendermare now.” Jed corrected.

“Genderman.” Mark said, with a narrator voice.

“Wha?” Jed replied confused.

“Genderman.... The thing that changes gender constantly.”

“What?... Just give me a ride.” Jed said.

“Tenderman.... The man who is tender all the time.” Mark said.

“Fine, I will just go hotwire the car then.” Jed said walking to the door.

“NO!” Mark said throwing a book in his face. “Never! EVER! HEVER! AHHHGIAN!”

“Jees! It was one time!” Jed whined.

“You almost fucking blew up the car.” Mark said looking at him angrily.

“I was set on fire! Doesn’t that make up for it?” Jed asked.

“NO.” Mark said firmly.

Jed just sighed and said. “Can I at least get a ride then?”

“I’ll ride you there for five bits, and five bits back.” Mark said, with a evil smile.

“What? No! That’s bullshit!” Jed said frustrated and walking to the door with Ruby following his heels. “I’ll just walk!”

“Alright, just don’t let It get you!” Mark said as he walked and sat down next to Twilight.

“Oh shut up...” Jed said waving his hand at Mark and closing the door.

“You sure that is safe?” Twilight asked.

“Give him ten minutes... Tops twenty.” Mark said leaning back and throwing an arm around Twilight. Exactly nineteen minutes and fifty nine seconds later.

BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM!!!!

“LET ME IN GOD DAMN IT!” Jed shouted as he was denting the doors. Mark just laughed and collapsed on the floor. Twilight simply sat there as she was trying to keep her composure. “PLEASE! LIGHT IS ON! SOMEONE OPEN UP! AAAAAH! HELP!”

Mark just kept laughing and tried to get to the door, but it was in vain as he was laughing so hard he could barely move. Twilight couldn’t move for fear of laughing as she listened to Jed’s pleads. The knocking soon stopped before Mark’s car alarm went off. Mark just calmed down from his retarded hyena laughter and stood up, he then sighed and looked outside and saw that his alarm was blinking.

“Fuck..... My car keys are...” Mark said looking around before finding them. “Here.... Time to let him in then.”

“Please let him in!” Twilight said snickering.

“Alright alright!” Mark said opening the door and quickly moving out of the way. Jed just walked into the room with a blank face.

“Right.... He’s probably angry.” Mark said through a laugh before closing the door, and locking it. jed simply walked over to Mark and grabbed the collar of his jacket and lifted him a few inches off of the ground before saying.

“Yea... I am.” He said in a monotone before putting Mark down and walking to the kitchen.

“Well right... Um mom, I would suggest that we go to bed now.” Mark said looking at Twilight.

“Why is that?” Twilight asked.

“He rarely gets angry.... But when he does, eh... I would say... Hide.” Mark said tiredly.

“Right. Off to bed!” Twilight said as she unfolded her wings and flew to the top of the stairs and went to bed. Mark simply followed her, only using the stairs and went to bed as well.

It was one hour before Mark and Jed were supposed to be awake and Twilight had woken up early to be awake to see them off. She yawned and walked downstairs to the kitchen where Jed’s drawing pad was left on the table with a pencil on top of it and a certain page marked with a red tag. She blinked and looked back and forth before going over and looked at what he was drawing. 'That is disgusting and teriffying.' She thought.

Slightly gagging she closed the book and went to the fridge and pulled out the Orange Juice before she heard a small sound of music from upstairs.

“What is that noise?” Twilight said as she put the juice down and walked upstairs and followed the music to the door of Mark’s room. Twilight walked over and opened up his door before peeking in. “Mark? Are you awake?”

“Hmm?” Mark replied. “Did someone say something?”

“Over here Mark!” Twilight slightly yelled over the music.

“Oh mom! What are you doing awake?” Mark said as he took of his headphones, which were now blasting out music like speakers.

“AAH! TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!” Twilight shouted as her ears splayed against her head and pressed down by her hands.

“Oh shit sorry!” Mark said, as he quickly turned down the volume. Twilight smiled, slightly pained, and let her ears go.

“Thanks. Now to answer your question I was awake to see you two got up on time. And to see you off when you left.” She said smiling warmly. “Aaaand maybe I was going out to get something when I was done... Wait how long have you been up?”

“Uh.....” Mark said looking at the clock, from his seat. “Probably since you went to bed.”

“Aaaaw Mark...” Twilight said borderline frustration and disappointment.

“I’m sorry! Time flies when you play League!” Mark said holding up his hands.

“To your bed mister!” Twilight said firmly and pointing to his bed.

“N-... No come on mom!” Mark said pleadingly.

“No! To the bed! NOW!” Twilight said again only more commanding than firm.

“Awww.” Mark said turning off the computer and getting up, as he did he stumbled a bit. “Oh.... woah... Woah.... My motor skills are like.... Fucked..... At least I’m not dru-.... Wait... That might be it-”

Mark said as he stumbled around before collapsing on the bed, and started snoring. Twilight rolled her eyes and put a blanket over him while exiting the room and closing the door. With that she got dressed in her proper clothing and went out into the world to purchase a few items.

Now was the time that the carriage arrived and Mark and Jed had to leave. Twilight had called their bosses, meaning sent them a letter by magic, and told them about the situation. She woke up the two sleepy humans and headed downstairs where a certain captain of the guard was waiting.

“Shining!” She shouted happily as she ran over and hugged her brother that dwarfed her by a few inches.

“Hey Twiley! How are you?” He asked.

“I am great! Just waiting for the lazy bones to get up.” Twilight said snickering as a groan was heard.

“I’m up. I’m up!” Jed said as he walked down the stairs.

“Shut uuuup....” Mark complained. “God... My head.”

“Mark be nice.” Twilight said sternly.

“I’ll try....” Mark said sniffing. “I’m freezing....”

Jed simply turned to Mark. “Coffee?” Jed asked.

“....” Mark was just silent.

“Coffee it is then.” Jed said walking towards the kitchen.

“No.... It’s bad for your bowls which is bad.” Mark said tiredly.

“Right right. Half and half.” Jed said as he poured the coffee.

“Shut up! Yo don’t know nuffhin.... Fuck I forgot my bag.” Mark said walking back into his room and stumbling around abit.

“They always like this?” Shining whispered to his sister as Twilight snickered and nodded.

“Only in the morning.” Twilight said.

“Huh... Reminds me of someone.” Shining said holding back a loud laugh. He received a firm smack against his chest plate and a glare from his sister.

“Don’t you dare.” Twilight warned. Jed walked back out and was holding two cups of coffee.

“Mark! I got you your coffee!” Jed shouted tiredly as he sipped at his own.

“I told you! I dun want it.... Eaah!” Mark shouted back.

“His speech gets a bit messed up when he is tired.” Twilight explained receiving a nod from Shining.

“Give it too... To.... t-..... Rub- No wait, Mom!” Mark shouted.

“No thank you, I only drink black coffee.” Twilight said smiling. Jed just looked at the coffee before he saw Shining.

“You want this coffee Marshmallow?” Jed asked. Everyone in the room blinked as Shining looked behind him and then upstairs before pointing to himself. “Yeah you Marshmallow...”

“Uuuh... What’s in it?” Shining asked awkwardly.

“Coffee and milk.” Jed said plainly.

“Sure...” Shining said as he walked over and took the cup.

“By the way it’s not that strong.” Jed said plainly and he took a gulp from his coffee. Shining gave a nod and a smile as he took a sip from the mug. His eyes went to pin pricks and he almost spat out the coffee before forcing a swallow.

“Sweet Celestia what is this!?” Shining shouted. Jed just blinked and looked at his coffee.

“Coffee... Made it myself. The coffee here is super weak, so I put like... Twenty scoops into the coffee machine.” Jed said shrugging. Shining’s jaw dropped and he shook his head.

“Good Celestia... What is with your species?” He mumbled as he looked at the coffee and winced as he gulped down what was left of his coffee and cringing at the taste and putting the cup down while trying not to vomit.

“Well.... Heres a oxymoron for you. We are warmongering peacemakers that are technologically advanced and we still use bow and arrows.” Jed said. “Oh and we’ve been to the moon. In fact a space station orbits our planet.”

“Oh ya! Don’t forget the Ion cannon they are making.” Mark said.

“Yeah that too... Still confusing if you ask me. We have a rail gun why would we need a Ion Cannon?” Jed asked.

“You know how it is, the one who has the power that can wipe a continent off the map basically wins world power.... So that Ion Cannon can practically do that.” Mark said. “Its like... ‘lets just wipe a continent of the map cause you know, why the fuck not’.....”

“Makes sense.” Jed said shrugging.

“I-I-on.. Ca-an-non?” Shining stuttered out.

“Yeah.... Our technological warfare have gone out of hand.... I mean who the fuck comes up with hunter killer drones.” Mark said a little annoyed.

“Not to mention biological warfare.” Jed said as he finished his coffee.

“Oh right the horrors....”

“If those are the weapons....” Shining said flabbergasted. “What are you soldiers like!?”

“What the strongest military here?” Jed asked.

“Oh that would be the griffons! They gun discovered how to make a repeating crossbow!” Twilight said. “It’s only got three shots, but still.”

“Wow... What’s the poundage on them?” Jed asked.

“Around fifty pounds. Why?” Twilight asked. Jed and Mark simply looked to each other before they both burst into laughter. After a while Shining asked.

“What is so funny?”

“We have crossbows that rack up to over three hundred pounds in a single crossbow!” Jed said laughing. “It’ll pin you to a fucking wall!”

“Sweet Celestia’s mother!” Shining shouted.

“If that surprises you, have I told you about a gun yet?” Mark asked.

(One extensively long and detailed conversation later.)

“WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THAT!?” Shining shouted as Twilight was in the bathroom hurling.

“Eh... It was to protect ourselves, but I think we went overboard on that one.” Jed said scratching his head.

“Well, did invent one that can punch a hole in a steel all from two thousand meters...” Mark said.

“No no no... Please go to the carriage.” Shining said.

“What was the most powerful firearm on earth?” Mark asked

“The portable railgun I think.” Jed said as he walked outside.

“Didn’t like rip you apart from the inside when you fired it?”

“Eh, torn off arm or broken ribs most likely. But tanks down a tank... And everyone behind it. And probably more.” Jed said shrugging.

“So thats why they are going to mount it on a combat suit along with a vulcan minigun.” Mark said now somewhat more awake.

“Yup!” Jed said smiling. “... How did that liquid terminator even work?”

“I dunno.... Have you heard about the Dreadnought mobile.... Whatever it was called.” Mark asked.

“The tank bot?” Jed asked. They walked outside talking about the humans’ latest death machines while Twilight came back.

“And you have been living with those guys!?” Shining almosts shouted. Twilight sighed and shook her head.

“No they aren’t blood craving monsters that seek nothing but war. They are actually very nice. A bit grim at times, but very nice.” Twilight said smiling. Shining just sighed and walked out with Twilight as they saw the Humans putting their things into the carriage.

“Oh yeah how about that new missile battery they are making...” Mark said.

“Do you think they ever thought about walking landmines?” Jed asked.

“Do I dare ask what a missile is?” Twilight whispered to Shining.

“No.” Shining said sternly. “Please just not now.”

“Okay okay...” Twilight said.

“Oh hey mom! We are just about finished.” Mark said happily.

“Mom?” Shining said looking at Twilight.

“Long. Story.” Twilight growled grinding her teeth a bit.

“Okay okay jeez.” Shining said walking over to them and getting into the carriage.

“Anyway... Bye you two!” Twilight said waving.

“Wait.... You are not following?” Mark asked. “Aww...”

“Well someone has to look after Ruby and all the other stuff in this house.” Twilight said. “Spike left when he found he couldn’t stand you guys! He has been living with Rarity!”

“Hm.... I wonder..... How long will it take before earth is completely destroyed by thermonuclear warfare.” Mark said.

“Ten years minimum.” Jed said shrugging as he got into the carriage.

“And then we have that Ion Cannon who puts everyone at a power imbalance..... Oh well we’ll see what continent get’s wiped first.” Mark said shrugging.

“Ce la vie.” Jed said shrugging. With that Mark hopped into the carriage and it took off towards Canterlot for the two Humans tests. “Why do I have the strangest feeling that shenanigans are going to happen?”

Author's Notes:

No they aren't going to gain magic. No they aren't going to get super powers. None of that mainstream crap.
Shenanigans are going to ensue.
Have a picture!