Soon the Humans, Princesses, and military officer all arrived at the castle with a swift and easy landing. The door opened as Mark and Jed hopped out and looked up to see the castle.

“Huh... I honestly thought... It would be bigger.” Jed said looking around the place. Mark just lazily stumbled around and looking around.

“Meh, whatever.... Where is the nearest couch?” Mark asked. Jed just shrugged and watched as Luna, Celestia, and shining walked out of the carriage. Shining saluted the princesses before he walked off down the hall while giving Mark and Jed a wave as he turned the corner. Luna walked straight past Mark and Jed, not really paying attention as her eyes were practically glued to her PSvita. Celestia sighed as she watched her sister walk away.

Mark slightly glanced at Lunas ass, and almost instantly awoke. “..... Dat....” Mark began to say before he bit his lip.

“Mark. Behave.” Jed mumbled while slightly smacking Mark’s side.

“Ass.” Mark muttered out.

“You happy now?” Jed asked rolling his eyes.

“Kinda.... Still tired though.” Mark said.

“Well you may go relax in the guest rooms. I will show you around a bit first, so that you don’t get lost later on. Come along now.” Celestia said as she began to walk down the halls. Jed just shrugged and began to follow Celestia while putting his headphones around his neck and letting a little bit of music flow out.

“Now let’s let it fade to black while the giant insect burns everything down...” Jed sang along quietly as he looked around the castle. Everything was going fine until he bumped into some random unicorn guy. “Whoops! Oh god sorry pal!”

The unicorn got up with a huff and a glare towards Jed. He had a blond mane and a solid white coat and appeared to be wearing a dress coat along with some rather fancy clothing. “I am not your pal, you... Thing.” He said in a snooty tone.

“Jeez dude, I said I was sorry.” Jed said annoyed.

“I don’t care if you said sorry! You still smacked into me!” He said almost beginning to shout.

“Fuck dude, I just bumped into you. Don’t get your panties in a wad.” Jed said.

“How rude! Do you even know who I am!?” He was practically screaming at this point.

“Some fancy ass noble.” Mark muttered out, walking past them.

“No and frankly, I don’t care. Now would you please move, so I can continue the tour?” Jed asked. “Or am I going to have to move you myself?”

“Are you threatening me!?” The unicorn said flabbergasted. Jed shook his head.

“Nope. I am promising. You don’t move, I will make you.” Jed said smiling wickedly. The unicorn caught sight of his canines that came with his toothy smile.

“W-well... Y-you are worth my time! So I will just be going.” The unicorn said as he quickly walked around Jed and almost ran down the hallway.

“Pussy.” Jed chuckled as he caught up with Mark and Celestia. “Sooo... What I miss?”

“Oh not much. I see you met my nephew.” Celestia said snickering. “What did you do to make him leave like that?”

“Smiled?” Jed said shrugging.

“I... See? Anyway, this is the kitchen. Feel free to ask the chefs for anything you might want.” Celestia said smiling then her brow furrowed and she puckered her lips as she thought for a moment. “By the way, what do you guys eat anyway?”

“Eh... Lots of things I guess. Not plants like flowers and grass, but other greens we can eat. Also fruit and meat.” Jed said shrugging again as Celestia’s expression went to mild shock.

“Your kind eats meat?” She asked slightly worried. Jed just nodded and sighed.

“If you are worried, about us eating anyone, no. We only eat pigs, cows, chicken, and fish.” Jed said smiling.

“Well that explains why Blueblood ran off in a hurry. He was never really comfortable around meateaters.” Celestia said snickering. “While we are here, would you two like to meet the chef?”

“Uuhm... Sure?” Jed said slightly unsure. Celestia smiled and walked over to the door before opening it up and wandering into the kitchen along with Mark and Jed in tow. It looked like the kitchen you would see in a restaurant only with a more homely feeling added to it.

As they walked in there were only a few ponies on kitchen duty apparently as there was only two ponies and a...

“Is that a griffon?” Jed asked pointing to the large brown and white griffon that was wearing a chef’s outfit and had a rather nice mustache going. He looked at least six foot five and was extremely muscular with a nice set of wings on his back. More so than most ponies Jed or Mark had seen.

“Why yes he is. He is a extremely good cook. Also one of the friendliest griffons you will ever meet.” Celestia said smiling. “Loidwick! Please come here!”

The griffon turned and apparently all griffons have naturally pissed off expressions, but he smiled as soon as he saw Celestia. He walked over and opened up his massive arms before hugging Celestia.

“Ah! Celestia! How was your trip? Did you want something to eat after the trip?” He asked in a thick scottish accent. Celestia returned the hug before he let go and looked at Mark and Jed. “Eh?... What’s with the hairless Diamond Dogs?”

“Diam-what now?” Jed asked.

“Loidwick, this is Jed and Mark. They are the only ones of their species here, so please try and make them comfortable. Also they are meat eaters so you already have something in common with them!” Celestia said happily as Loidwick walked over and stared down at both Mark and Jed, making them both look up to see his face.

“Why am I always dwarfed wherever I go?” Jed muttered.

“Mmmh.” Mark hummed looking extremely tired. Loidwick just shook his head and smiled. ‘That’s a bit freaky. A beak smiling.’ Jed thought.

“Well you boys like meat? Well feel free to ask for anything you might want. We have everything that you could possibly want. And if you want something specific don’t be afraid to asked!” Loidwick said picking them both up and hugging them almost crushing their chest cavities.

“I.. Can’t... Breath.” Jed gasped.

“Stuck between a rock and a hardplace.” Mark quickly said gasping for air.

“Loidwick... You might be killing them.” Celestia said slightly snickering. Loidwick looked down at the two humans and put them down quickly before chuckling nervously. Jed let in a huge gasp and coughed for a moment before smiling weakly.

“I think I can safely say that a griffon hugs worse than a bear.” Jed said coughing a bit afterwards.

“Jesus.... Almost feels as bad as I woke up next to a giant dog.” Mark said still trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry... I forget my strength.” Loidwick said chuckling nervously. “Would you like some tea for your throats?”

“Please...” Jed wheezed out.

“Uh, no... Just get me some alcohol.” Mark said tiredly. “A beer would be fine.”

“Alright gimmie one minute.” Loidwick said smiling and walking over to the fridge. One moment he was simply standing there and the next he was already back with the tea and beer. “Tea for you. And a beer for you.”

“Thanks.” Jed said as he took his tea and sipped at it. He cleared his throat a bit and smiled. “Ah much better.”

Mark just downed half of his beer before saying. “This thing tastes like its spewed out with water...”

“Aye...” Loidwick said looking from side to side before leaning down and whispering. “You need the strong stuff look for griffon beverages. They will knock you on your flank.”

“Oh really?” Mark said interested. Loidwick merely nodded before leaning back up as Celestia curiously looked at them both.

“Oh Loidwick, you trying to give our guests alcohol poisoning again?” Celestia said in a parental tone.

“Of course not Princess! I am merely giving advice to them in case they wish to have a good time.” Loidwick said. Celestia simply rolled her eyes and ushered Jed and Mark outside.

“I like that guy. He’s nice.” Jed said looking to mark.

“Mmh....” Mark hummed.

“Exactly.” Jed said smiling. Celestia showed them around the castle a bit more pointing out the Throne Room, the Dinning hall, and the entertainment room that was a large T.V. with an array of movies and a few gaming systems. Finally she showed the two humans to their rooms.

“And here are your rooms. You will be staying in these for the week so please get settled in. We are going to start the testing tomorrow.” Celestia said with a smile as she turned to walk. “Oh and dinner is going to be served in about two hours.”

With that she left the two humans to their rooms and Jed just shrugged at Mark before opening the door and walking in. “I feel like I am in an extremely fancy hotel.” He muttered as he walked inside.

Mark just went into his room and closed the door. Jed simply looked back at his door before he looked around. “First thing you do in a hotel?” Jed asked himself. “Jump on to bed!”

He walked until he found the bed and ran straight for it and flopped onto the bed before saying. “Oh god... So soft...” And immediately falling asleep on the bed.

Mark though, during the month he was in equestria, saved up for a laptop, and bought one. So he also brought his headset, keyboard and laptop in his extra bag. He just quickly packed it up on a table on his room, and then started playing league. Cause tired league play is best league play.

After a good hour and a half, Jed woke up and stretched a bit as he tried to get the kinks out of his bones. A few loud snaps and pops later, he let out a sigh and walked out of his room looking around the place. He went back into his room and found a clock on the table and sighed as he still had no idea what time it was. He looked around the place and walked over to his pack and pulled out his drawing pad and pencil before sitting on the bed and sketching a bit.

“Fucking Mokai and his Mother nature!” Mark yelled out before loud clicking was heard. “Yeah take that bitch! Where is your mother na-.... What the fuck! Where did you come from you, bird?!”

“Jinx’d!” Jed shouted to Mark.

“The plays! The plaaays!” Mark said as more loud clicking and clacking came from his keyboard. “And now I’m just flashing out of here.... Tee hee.”

“Don’t jinx yourself again! You always do that!” Jed shouted snickering afterwards.

“Yeah yeah...” Mark said, before a loud yawn was heard. “I should have gone to bed... But nooo!”

“Yep! You probably got some time for a quick nap if you want.” Jed shouted.

“Gotta finish up this match.” Mark said as he continued playing.

“And the next one. And the next one. And the next one.” Jed kept repeating over like a broken record.

“A enemy has been slain.” A loud voice said. “Whoopsie...”

“Hurray! Break out the vodka! He got a kill!” Jed said cackling afterwards.

“Like my stats won’t change anyhow.” Mark said before adding. “I’m currently twelve, one , fourteen.”

“Greeeeeeat... No idea what you are talking about.” Jed said as he sketched a bit more.

“Kills, Deaths, Assists.” Mark said again.

“Good for you.” Jed said rolling his eyes. “These walls are extremely thin apparently.”

“Yeah yeah... Feel free to continue whatever you are doing I’m going continue.” Mark said as he started up music.

“No blaring music! We’re in a public place now!” Jed shouted.

“Okay...” Mark said just continuing with his game. Jed Just sighed as he sketched a bit more before he got his own headphones and pulled them on and listened to some music from his phone. After a few minutes there was a loud knock from the doors, which made jed jump considering it went straight through his headphones. He got up and walked over to the door before he opened it and totally didn’t screech like a little girl when he saw the uneven yellow and red eyes of the mismatched creature in front of him.

“Good god!” Jed shouted as he backpedaled and fell on his ass. He was about to keep moving until he heard someone giving a deep laugh. Jed looked up and saw the strange mismatched creature laughing. He looked off for a second before he began to chuckle himself until he was in a full blown laugh. After a good ten minute ROFL attack, Jed got up and wiped a tear from his eye before approaching the creature again.

“So who do I owe the pleasure of scaring my ass, and then making me laugh my lungs out?” Jed said coughing a bit. The mismatched creature smiled, oddly enough having a single fang, and stood up to his practically ten foot height. “Christ... You wanna shrink so I don’t feel like a ant?” Jed joked.

The creature simply shrugged and snapped his fingers making him shrink to Jed’s height and smile when he looked at him. Jed blinked and was about to say something before he just let out a massive breath. “You know.... If I didn’t already know that magic is magic... I might have freaked out.” Jed deadpanned making the creature chuckle. “But, I will admit that that was pretty cool.”

“Thank you! I like to impress when I can!” The creature said as he walked out of the room. “Now come on! Dinner is ready and good ol’ Solar Flank isn’t gonna wait. Names Discord by the way.”

“Discord...” Jed mused to himself before shrugging and smiling. “Makes sense.”

“I know right?” Discord said as he was gone. Jed looked around until he saw that Discord simply was now perched on Jed’s shoulder like a parrot. And the size of one as well.

“... I take it your name implicates what you do?” Jed said chuckling. Discord simply nodded as Jed walked out the door and over to Mark’s room. He knocked on the door while Discord lounged on his shoulder. “Oi! Mark! Get out here, it’s time for Dinner!”

“Sonofa...... Damn it.... Fine.” Mark muttered out as he walked out of his room with a yawn. He then looked at Discord, before raising an eyebrow. “Who is the elder god looking guy?”

“Oh this is Discord.” Jed said pointing to Discord on his shoulder. “He is a chaotic dude. And I am assuming quite the prankster considering that he can do magic.”

“To be fair, I am the God of Chaos.” Discord said shrugging.

“Soooo.... He’s an elder god?” Mark asked with a still raised eyebrow. Jed just shrugged making Discord fidget a bit before he just hung his legs over Jed’s shoulder.

“I guess so?” Jed said before he dramatically pointed down the hallway. “Anyway... Onward! To dinner!”

“Hope they have ice cream... Cause I have a sudden craving for it.” Mark said before yawining again.

“You sound like you are pregnant.” Jed said snickering.

“League does weird things to you.” Mark said before walking up to Jed. “Lead the way.”

“Actually, I would follow this guy.” Jed said pointing to Discord who just shrugged. Discord hopped off of Jed’s shoulder and grew back to the same height as the humans before walking down the hallway.

“Follow me!” He said in a somewhat disturbingly happy tone. Jed just shrugged and began to follow Discord down the hall. After a few minutes they came upon the Dinning hall again as Discord simply walked through the doors. Not opened and closed them, ghost like walking through the doors.

“... Wish I could do that.” Jed said blinking before he walked over to the doors and walked through them like a normal person or pony would. They walked through the doors and saw the Dining hall with the massive table in the center with Celestia at the end with her sister sitting there with a bored look on her face. Discord on the other hand was sitting on a chair next to Celestia on the right side of the table while Shining Armor was sitting on the left with a strange pink Alicorn with a cream, lavender, and magenta striped mane.

“Huh... I thought Alicorns were supposed to be rare yet we live with one and there are three right there.” Jed whispered to Mark.

Mark just remained silent and looked at them. “Three alicorns and a Elder god.”

“Yup. Ain’t this just the friendliest environment ever!” Jed said with a sarcastic smile. Then he walked over and took a seat next to Discord and sighed as he leaned back in the chair. “Why is everything here so damned comfy?”

“Fuduble me if I know.” Mark said as he walked over and sat down directly opposite of Jed.

“I take it you two are enjoying your stay here?” Celestia asked.

“Uh.... Yeah.” Mark said tiredly.

“Beds are freakin’ soft.” Jed said smiling. “Passed out earlier when I laid on it.”

“That is great! In any case, I would like you two to meet my niece Cadance! She is married to Shining Armor.” Celestia said with a smile as she gestured to the pink Alicorn that was sitting next to Shining Armor.

“Sup.” Jed said giving a small wave and smile. Mark just tipped his hat at her.

“Hello.” Cadance said back in a sweet tone.

“Hmmm... That brings a question to my mind...” Jed mused. “If Celestia is the princess of the sun and Luna the moon. Does that make her the princess of the.... Thing?”

“The power of love?” Mark said quickly.

“Yes actually!” Cadance said smiling.

“Holy fuck, I was right.... I wasn’t even serious....” Mark said tiredly.

“Hey points for you then.” Jed said snickering before he turned to Cadance. “Anyway how does that work... Do you help ponies fall in love or do you simply give off love in general?”

“I will occasionally help out here and there. Mostly sensing love and helping it bloom.” She said smiling before turning to Shining and whispering. “And you said they were violent.”

“You didn’t hear what I heard.” Shining said shaking his head. The food soon came as the large griffon Loidwick came out with several dishes.

“Freaking griffons and their overly strong bodies.” Jed said shaking his head. Loidwick walked over and put a covered platter in front of each pony, and human, before he snapped his talons and several waiters walked out and poured a glass of wine for each glass that was in front of them.

“Enjoy everyone!” Loidwick said smiling before he left along with the other waiters. As the waiters left they took the tops off of the platters revealing the food of choice for each pony. Luna and Celestia had some sort of fancy salads, Shining had what look like a fruit/veggie mix, and Cadance had just a simple salad with some dressing over it.

The humans however, were partaking in something that they had been without for quite some time. Jed blinked as he saw the sight of a grilled Pork chop and fries sitting on his plate and looked over to Mark who simply had a steak that was Barbecued with rice on the bottom of it and a simple side of salad sitting next to it along with a small side dish that had some type of sauce..

“..... Meat?” Jed asked to no one in particular.

“Carnivores for the win.” Mark said, pouring sauce all over his dish, before digging in. Without a single other word, Jed picked up his utensil and followed suit. After dinner there was several satisfied ponies and humans along with a slightly startled Cadance.

“I didn’t think you two would be meat eaters.” Cadance said nervously laughing.

“Oop, that would be my fault.” Celestia said sheepishly. “I forgot to tell you, but Loidwick was more than happy to help you two out. He said and I quote ‘A meat eater is a meat eater, no point in trying to change that’.”

“Omnivore, we are Omnivores.” Mark said, picking his teeth with a toothpick.

“Oh thank goodness.” Cadance mumbled.

“I will give it to Loidwick though. Guy is a hell of a cook.” Jed said leaning back after wiping his face with a napkin.

“Still... Hope there isn’t a Gordon Ramsey in this universe.... Would suck so bad.” Mark said.

“Eh... I got something to eat that wasn’t salad or fruit. I am happy.” Jed said shrugging. Then he turned to Celestia and said. “Soooo.... What now?”

“Well... I guess you are free to roam the castle as long as you don’t leave.” She said smiling.

“Hmm... Off to the entertainment room! More specifically.. TO THE VIDEO GAMES!” Jed shouted standing up dramatically.

“Back to my room.” Mark muttered as he got up and sluggishly stumbled around. “Sonofa...” He muttered before falling to his knees then to his stomach and passing out.

“... Welp... Mark to his room. Then to the video games!” Jed said as he walked over to Mark and looked at him for a moment before suddenly a snap of fingers and Mark was gone.

“Why drag him around?” Discord said snickering. Jed looked at Discord and shrugged again before walking off towards the doors and heading out.

“Thanks for dinner! Give my regards to Loidwick!” Jed shouted as he exited the room and began to wander the halls. He wandered the halls until he found the entertainment room and walked inside. He walked over to the shelf of games and picked out the game that was rather familiar, if not exactly the same as what he remembered. “Mass Effect? Here?... Cause why the fuck not?”

He walked over and put the disc in the X-Buck before he groaned as he had to transfer his profile. Luckily here they made it so it carried all of your data, which mind you took much longer but was worth it. So after a good twenty minutes of watching some random show on the T.V. while it loaded, he picked up the remote and went to multiplayer before clicking on his Turian soldier.

“Boom headshot. Boom headshot. Boom headshot.” Jed said as he shot the Cannibals with his Blackwidow, not hitting them in the head but still killing them. He stretched out his hands as the game ended before another started up along with a new player. “GalaticLunarSlayer?... Who the fuck is that?”

He shrugged and went in game with her as he heard the two other ponies rage over the mics as they continuously died. G.L.S.(The new pony) was simply sticking closer to Jed’s character and shooting the geth when they got to close. Jed was busy sniping the grunts and pegging the Banshees and Brutes as G.L.S. was behind him guarding his flank with a Geth Shotgun and a N7 Typhoon.

After the match and the other two guys leaving, Jed just laughed and smiled as the one match had given him plenty. He played a few more matches with this G.L.S., never dying once with her around and saving her ass a lot as well. As time passed then he got a friend’s request from said player. He smiled tiredly and accepted it before he looked at his gamertag ‘The D0CT3R’ and logged off before heading out of the large entertainment room and to the hallway. He tiredly look around and made his way to his room. As he walked he bumped into Luna and staggered back a bit.

“Oh god! Sorry Princess Luna.” Jed said tiredly as he rubbed his eyes and yawned a bit.

“PEEEENTA KILL!” Mark yelled out from his room, which was probably heard over half of Canterlot. “YEEEAH!”

“It’s alright.” She said shaking her head at Mark’s outburst. “I was on my way to the kitchen to get something to drink. I have been too busy playing Mass Effect to realize I was thirsty.”

“Oh really? I just got done playing that game myself!” Jed said smiling. Luna’s ears perked up and she looked at jed with a tilted head.

“You play Mass Effect?” She asked.

“Well, I have a profile and play it when I can, but I don’t have a console. Yet.” Jed said smiling. “Play other games too. Haylo, Colt of Duty, Cogs of War, Left for dead one and two, Battlefield three, Bioshock one, two, and Infinite, Hitmare: Absolution, and lots of Minecraft when I am on the computer.”

“Wow... Avid gamer?” Luna asked smiling.

“Very much so.” Jed said tiredly. “We should play sometime.”

“That would be wonderful, but I must warn you, I have had my share of practice.” Luna said laughing. Jed chuckled and looked around before noticing a small pile of parchment and a pen on a maid’s service cart. He walked over and wrote his gamertag on one of them before handing it to Luna.

“There you go. Send me a message next time you are on. I play on the X-Buck by the way.” Jed said before walking off. Luna waved and walked away before she looked at the paper and her eyes went wide. She turned to say something before seeing he was gone.

Jed had yet out a massive yawn before he reached his room. He walked over to the bed and crawled into it before covering himself up with the silk sheets. With one last massive and loud yawn he let his head fall onto the plush pillows and gently fell into the world of sleep.

A somewhat loud knocking came from Jed’s guest room door. He simply groaned and rolled over in the bed. He didn’t want to get up. Bed was too comfy. Apparently, this wasn’t allowed as the door to his room was opened and he was simply pulled out of bed and put on his feet. Where he immediately fell on the ground.

“Ow...” Jed moaned out in pain as he lifted himself up. He looked to see who pulled him out of bed, and saw that Celestia was wearing a grin and was holding a hand over her mouth in order to keep from snickering. “Happy?”

“Quite. Now please go put on something casual. You’re tests start today.” She said as she turned and walked out the door as Jed walked over to his bag and pulled out a white tee and blue jeans along with his fedora before heading to the bathroom to shower up and get ready fro the day. After a quick shower, of ice water and then warm water, he got out and headed to Mark’s room before knocking.

“Yo Markie! Get your arse out here!” Jed shouted as he knocked.

“Fuduble you.” Mark muttered out.

“Oh just get out here.” Jed said rolling his eyes.

“No.” Mark muttered out as he turned around in bed. Jed just opened the door and walked in and shook Mark a bit.

“Come on. We have those test things today.” Jed said.

“You know I’m practically naked right now and you just waltz into my room, thinking you can do whatever the fuck you want?” Mark muttered out.

“Well you didn’t forewarn me so this is on you.” Jed said shrugging.

“So you expect me to sleep fully clothed?” Mark asked.

“Noooo. I expect you to get out of bed and get some damned clothes on.” Jed said annoyed.

“Nah.” Mark said before burying his head in the pillow.

“Do I need to go and find a dog and make it give you the cold nose to get you out of bed?” Jed asked. “Cause I’ll do it!”

“Fuck you and get out so I can change you fag.” Mark muttered angrily.

“Yeah yeah...” Jed said walking over to the door and heading out. Not closing it, leaving Mark in the bed.

“The fuck? Great move.”

“Oh right. Sorry used to small apartments.” Jed said walking back and closing the door before leaning against the wall across from the door. A few minute laters Mark came out of his room dressed in his usual clothes. “Ready for some breakfast?”

“Yeah yeah.” Mark said walking out of the room. Jed nodded and got off of the wall before heading down the hallway.

“Now let’s see if I can remember!” Jed said as he took a turn down the hall. They roamed for a few minutes before they reached the dining hall just in time for breakfast to appear. “Ha ha! Success.”

They walked over and took their seats that they had yesterday and leaned back in their seats as breakfast was brought out to them. It was the same for everyone eggs, toast, orange juice and bacon, never can forget that bacon. Well bacon for the humans, Haycon for the ponies. As they enjoyed their breakfast, Jed asked a simple question.

“So what are these tests going to involve?” Jed asked curiously and he nibbled on a piece of bacon. Celestia took a sip from her juice before clearing her throat.

“Well... Several simple biology tests, which are done with spells. They will tell us how your anatomy works. A few blood samples. And after that just a few simple physical tests to see how your bodies work. If anything abnormal shows up, then we will investigate that ask a few questions and then we are done!” Celestia said smiling.

“Huh.... Seems like a lot more for being here for a whole week.” Jed said scratching his head.

“Well that is only this day and tomorrow. The days after that are going to be learning a few things about Equestria itself.” Celestia said shrugging.

“Definitely like school again.” Mark muttered.

“Oh it won’t be that bad.” Jed said rolling his eyes.

“Schoooool.” Mark said in a spooky voice

“Okay! Okay! I get it!... It’s awful.” Jed said shuddering. “Dear god don’t bring up the halloween party.”

They ate in peace for a few more minutes till that nephew of Celestia’s came in, trying to look all regal and shit. In everyone’s eyes he just looked like someone put a metal rod up his ass and never took it out.

“... Is it just me. Or is he walking funny?” Jed asked as he looked at Blueblood before going back to his meal.

“It looks like he got a giant stick up his ass..... Like a turian.” Mark said as he was eating

“Ha!” Jed and Luna said at the same time as they laughed at the video game joke, while Celestia, Shining, and Cadance looked at them strangely. “What? It was funny.”

“Hello everyone! I am... Oh. Those... Carnivores are still here.” Blueblood said sneering at the two humans.

“Omnivores, but I won’t hesitate to eat cha!” Mark said with a evil smile which made Blueblood turn paler than he already was.

“Mark!... You know not to tell the prey what you are going to do before you do it! Shame on you! Tch tch tch tch.” Jed said shaking his head.

“He’ll never see me coming.” Mark said looking at Jed, before continuing to eat. “Ponies taste awesome.”

Jed just stared off for a moment before his expression turned to one as if he had an epiphany then he burst into laughter ultimately falling on the ground. “Oh god!... So true!” He shouted from the floor.

Blueblood however was still mortified. When Jed got off the floor he looked and saw him before he turned to Mark and said. “Time for a chase?”

“Nom nom.” Mark said standing up, slowly.

“Agreed.” Jed said as he mimicked the action. There was a split second before the doors were flung open and began to swing back and forth before gently settling. “And that my friends... Is how you get rid of a prick.”

“I really thought we were eating him..... Oh well.” Mark said sitting down again.

“So you want to skin a guy and eat him? Then you’re taking his junk off for cooking.” Jed said.

“Right, I’mma throw it in someones face too!” Mark said snickering.

“Mark... We’re not doing that.” Jed deadpanned.

“Fuck.” Mark muttered.

“You can throw a severed penis at someone later.” Jed said waving his hand dismissively. Luna and Celestia simply sat there staring at Jed while Shining and Cadance stared at Mark. “What?”

“Du buq was that?!” Luna almost shouted.

“Uuuuuh.... Crazy antics by me and Mark... Enjoy the show?” Jed asked with a smile.

“Sounds kinky.” Mark said quickly.

“Indeed.” Jed said in a posh accent while holding up a tea cup and sipping at it.

“Where did one get that tea from?” Mark asked looking at the tea cup

“That kettle. And that tray.” Jed said pointing to the tray next to him with a kettle and tea cups. “Not bad tea though. Tastes of mint.”

“Huh.......” Mark said shaking his head.

“Hey mark... Tastes. Of. Mint.” Jed said seriously.

“Shut up.....” Mark said shaking his head. “For your information, it makes the deal much more awesome.”

“Hey at least I ain’t blowing no horns!” Jed said.

“Oh! So mark plays an instrument?” Luna asked curiously. Jed looked at her with a stoic expression before smiling and chuckling.

“You could say that. Certainly makes a lot of noise.” Jed said snickering.

“Oh, like you don’t.” Mark said deadpanning.

“Hey! At least I admit it!” Jed said.

“Oh really? What about the time I walk-” Mark began.

“Ssssshhhhut up. We promise never to talk about that.” Jed said pointing at finger at Mark.

“For that matter.... What does.... Eh.....” Mark began scratching his chin.

“It involved Tequila leave me alone.” Jed said facepalming.

“What did you say that VS tasted like again?” Mark asked suddenly interested

“Sprite.” Jed said facepalming.

“Really? Lime... Of all the things?” Mark said surprised.

“Fizzy lemon and lime thank you.” Jed said.

“Sooo.... Fizzy.... Lime....” Mark said with a strange face.

“Better than mint.” Jed said.

“FIIIIZZZY LIME!” Mark said keeping the face.

“Oh god damn it...” Jed said smashing his face against the table. “I want to go back to sleep...”

“FIIIZYEH LIIIEM!” Mark repeated staring at Jed with his face. “Not to mention lemon to... but.... LIIIIIIME!”

“Why am I friends with again?” Jed asked himself.

“I actually don’t know...” Mark said keeping his strange face on, and looking out the window.

“Good enough for me... Now finish your breakfast.” Jed said.

“I’m like long time finished.... I just gotta..... Not eat this minty.... Chocolate... Minty....” Mark said narrowing his eyes.

“... You’re getting aroused aren’t you?” Jed asked seriously.

“It depends on how you look at it!” Mark said unseriously.

“And you are looking at it at that way aren’t you?” Jed said.

Mark just remained quiet for a few seconds before replying “Yes.”

“That’s what I thought. Eat your mint.” Jed said.

“But I don’t like minty chocolate.” Mark said.

“Eat. The. Mint.” Jed said looking up.

“No.” Mark said looking at Jed.

“Eat the mint Mark. Don’t do dis.” Jed said standing up from his seat.

“I don’t fucking like mint!” Mark said standing up too.

“Eat the fucking mint!” Jed shouted slamming his hands on the table..

“NOOO!” Mark said throwing the mint chocolate down on the table. They glared at each other for a few moments before Jed said.

“Oh... Now I remember why I am friends with you again.” Jed said smiling.

“Oh yeah!” Mark said smiling too. “It’s awesome.”

“So we good now?” Jed asked.

“We good.” Mark said sitting down. “Whoggide boggide boo!”

“Well said!” Jed said sitting down as well. Everyone in the dining room was staring at them before Celestia stood up and cleared her throat before politely asking.

“This is your mornings? Every day?” Celestia asked with a seriously quizzical expression.

“Well... That really depends on the mornings, for example..... We can never have pancakes at the morning ever..... Again.” Mark said. “Ever. Like for.... Ever.”

“Why?” Celestia asked.

“Don’t really matter except if its breakfast.... And why? One word.... Roger.” Mark said looking at Celestia. There was a silence before Shining said.

“Where’s Jed?”

“Where is she?” Jed asked as he was hiding behind one guards, who was confused, with a terrified expression.

“Shes not here that’s for sure.” Mark said, sighing a bit.

“Oh thank god.” Jed said walking out from behind the guard and back to his seat. “I don’t like her.”

“Shes not that bad when you get to know her....” Mark said.

“I tried to get to know her! She punched me out a window!” Jed whined.

“Uh... She might have some grudge against you...” Mark said.

“I took money from her wallet once! Once! It was like two bucks!” Jed omplained.

“Riiiiight.....” Mark said. “You could have asked.”

“She would have broken my hand.” Jed said.

“Just cause you like grouping.” Mark said again.

“Christ that was by accident!” Jed said slamming his face against the table again.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Cadance asked with pained expression.

“Naw.... Okay a little, but that’s because I facetabled on my teacup.” Jed said. “Best idea ever right?”

“You done yet?... I’m getting bored.” Mark said.

“One second.... And I might have spilt grape soda on her favorite shirt but that is about it.” Jed said lifting his head. “Other than the fact that she was wearing the shirt, but you know...”

“Alright..... Um... Lets a go.” Mark said. “Do them testy thangs.”

“Ha... Testy.” Jed said standing up. “I wonder how Vinyl and Lyra are doing....”

“Hey Lyra, you know where the guys went?” Vinyl asked as she saw Lyra walking through the streets.

“They were sent to Canterlot apparently.” Lyra said a bit saddened.

“Awww.” Vinyl said replicating the emotion. “When are they coming back?”

“In a week or so.” Lyra said even more sad.

“AAAAAWWWW.... Goddess damn it!” Vinyl said kicking the dirt.

“So.... What should we do?” Lyra asked.

“Wanna go watch a movie?” Vinyl asked jerking a thumb over her shoulder.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Lyra said smiling a little.

“...Wanna cuddle?” Vinyl asked asked blushing slightly.

“Goddess yes.” Lyra said, taking Vinyls hand.

“We don’t tell either of them about this understand?” Vinyl said seriously.

“I know, I know!” Lyra said with a slightly annoyed expression.

“Okay then. Let’s go.” Vinyl said smiling as she began to walk away with Lyra in tow.

“Eh, I am sure they are fine.” Jed said shrugging.

“Presumably yes.” Mark said.

“So what is going to be the first ‘test’ of ours?” Jed asked Celestia as he saw her stand up.

“Well. I guess the spell tests could be down first.” Celestia said tapping her chin and walking over to them. “Other than that there is always the blood tests we need to do.”

“So pretty much needles or lay on a table while a unicorn performs some spell test thingies?” Jed asked nervously.

“In a nutshell yes.” Celestia said with a smile. “Might as well get the worst out of the way first wouldn’t you say?”

“Fuck naw, I hate needles.” Mark said looking at Celestia. “I hate them with a burning passion.... Or fear in my case.”

“Well then to the medical wing shall we?” Celestia said as she walked ahead and blazed the trail to the medical wing.

“Hurray! No needles today!... Augh stupid Zecora making me rhyme every time, d’oh!” Jed said frustrated.

“Trail blazer...” Mark muttered out.

“Better than us walking into walls trying to figure out where we are going.” Jed said shrugging.
“Eh true.” Mark said. They walked down the hallways to the medical wing to get the tests over with so they could find their way home to the arms of their girlfriends and, in Mark’s case at least, their mother as well. Little did they know these tests were going to be a bit, you could say...

Revealing?

Right at that moment, Mark put on his sunglasses.

“Oh dear god no.” Jed said putting his face in his hands.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!” Mark shouted out.

“Whyyyyy did you do that?” Jed complained as they continued to walk down the hallway with Celestia glancing at them with a confused expression.

Author's Notes:

Fun fact for all you league fans: My friend The Alpha, actually got a PentaKill. You can view it here. :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSk4MkeLy_w

Also Luna is not going to develop a crush on any of the humans. She will most likely become friends with them and from there it will evolve into bro, or in Luna's case sis, hood with the humans.
Cause Luna is best pony.