Beating the Heat

or

Friendship is Kinky

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction

By Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: I... REGRET... NOTHING!

- - - - - - -

There was a thunderclap at the front door, echoing through the cloud castle.

"Hey! Rainbow Dash! Hey! You in there?" Called Hoops. "We've got something to solve your problem!"

Dash's head emerged out of a pile of snow. She shivered, and cleared her throat after flapping her wings to get her blood moving again.

"My... My problem?"

"Yeah!"

Dash got up and slowly trotted towards the door. She pressed her ear to the door with a frown.

"I don't really think you're qualified to help me," Dash said flatly.

"That's why we got some ponies who are!" Hoops shouted.

"Hey Dash! It's me, Soarin'! Remember me?" Called a familiar voice.

"And Spitfire! Come on out, everything's going to be fine!" Cried another familiar voice.

Dash very slowly moved the thundercloud door to the side and peeked out. There they were-The two Wonderbolts she'd met at the Gala.

"Oh! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I-I am so glad... You..." She saw the three grinning jocks behind them, and offered them a little smile. "This... This is a really great thing you guys have done!"

"Thanks! Can we come in now?" Hoops asked. Soarin' pushed forward into Dash's home with a bright smile at her. Dash smiled back, nervously, and made sure to stay a far distance from the five ponies who entered.

"Well of course we can! And I hope you have some food, Rainbow Dash, I'm starved. High altitude training is hungry business," Soarin' said.

"Everything's hungry business with him," Spitfire intimated with a smile and wink. Soarin' pouted.

"Food! Right! Sure! Be right back!" Dash said, zipping off for her kitchen as fast as she could. The two Wonderbolts looked at eachother.

"See? She's cracking up," Dumb Bell said. "We don't know why!"

"Just leave it to us," Spitfire consoled. "We'll cheer her up."

"Yeah. I bet between the five of us, her little problem will be taken care of in no time!" Soarin' said with a grin.

Score sniffed the air. "Anypony else smell that?"

"Hmmm... Smells like shame, fear, and arousal," Spitfire commented thoughtfully.

"Hey! I washed up after talking to you!" Hoops said. At everypony's stares, he blushed.

"Well... I did..."

- - - - - - - - -

"Okay Dash, you can do this," Dash said as she rummaged around her disorganized kitchen. "Just make them some food, talk for a while, convince them you're fine, and they'll leave! It's the Wonderbolts, you've already proved yourself, no need to freak out, heheheheh..." She looked at herself in a polished ice mirror and glared intently at her reflection.

"You will not lose it. Keep it together, keep it together..."

"Mmm...! Hey, you have any mayonnaise?" Soarin' asked.

"It's behind the pickles," Dash said in an absentminded way. She started and looked over at Soarin', who was rummaging through the cloud-fridge. "HEY!"

"Mm? Oh, sorry," Soarin' said, pulling his head out the fridge. "I'm just so hungry, and hey, watch this!" He pulled out the jar of pickles and, using only his wings, set them juggling in a perfect arc. He grinned at Dash's stare. "How's this? I trained in wing juggling for my work with the Wonderbolts-Helps with muscle control!"

"M-Muscle control?" Dash asked, her cheeks become red, and her wings rose, standing tall and stiff.

"Oh yeah, and endurance. Gotta have a lot of endurance for this job," Soarin' said.

"Endurance... Yes... Endurance good," Dash said, a bit of drool beginning to drip down her lips. Soarin' leaned back, opened his mouth, and sent the pickles flying down into his mouth. Messily he crunched and munched them, before swallowing them down. He licked his lips with a satisfied groaned.

"Oh yeah... That hit the spot!" He said. "Got anything else?"

"I... I could give you... A pie," Dash managed, rubbing her hooves together nervously. "A very nice, delicious... Rainbow pie..."

"Rainbow Pie? Sounds exotic!" Soarin' said with a grin. "Where is it?"

"Well, it's-"

"Hey Dash!"

Dash froze as Spitfire came into the kitchen. Shaking, she looked over at the orange and yellow pegasus with a nervous smile.

"H-Hey Spitfire..."

"You know, you don't look so good," Spitfire said. "And you're shaking something awful..." She pressed a hoof to Dash's forehead. "Geez, you're burning up, too!"

"Yeah... I'm just... S-So hot," Dash moaned, pressing her forehead into Spitfire's hoof. Soarin' frowned and checked Dash's pulse by pressing his nose into her neck.

"Her pulse is racing too... And there's that smell..." Soarin' frowned. "Geez, why is it so hard to pin down?"

"Because she's been doing everything possible to suppress it, right Rainbow Dash?" Spitfire asked gently. Dash groaned and nodded.

"Uh huh... Ahhh..."

"What do you mean?" Soarin' asked.

"She's in heat, duh," Spitfire huffed. "No wonder she's been so reticent!"

"Oh... I thought I was just, ya know..." Soarin' flushed. "This excited because of our training."

"So excited," Dash moaned.

"Now Dash, you just relax, okay?" Spitfire said calmly. "We're going to help you through this."

"H-How?" Dash asked with another moan.

"Well, first off we're going to-"

"Hey, Rainbow Dash! Are you okay?" Hoops asked.

"Sorry to interrupt but we were worried about-" Dumb Bell tried, but Dash got one whiff of their scents, and her eyes widened.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

CRACKABOOM! The cloud castle exploded in a blast of rainbow power, and Dash went streaking through the sky as fast as she could go, leaving sonic booms in her wake. Out of the floating debris, five heads poked their way out of the clouds.

"... Something I said?" Dumb Bell asked.

"I'll take care of her," Spitfire said firmly. "Guys, it was really great of you to try to help her out, but this is something only mares can handle." She flapped her wings and headed off. Soarin' scowled after her.

"What am I, chopped lettuce?" The Wonderbolt grumbled. He looked over to the other three pegasuses. "Mares huh?"

"Yeah. Can't live with 'em... Can't live without 'em," Score intoned sagely.

Soarin' groaned. "And I'm still hungry... You know somewhere I could get a bite to eat?"

"The Sweet Apple Acres farm always has the best pies and things around," Hoops suggested. Soarin' beamed.

"Great! I could go for an Apple Pie! Meet up here in a few hours, I'll see if I can get you season tickets to our shows!" He leaped off the cloud and dove down for the ground, leaving the three pegasus stallions to look at each other.

"This has been a very weird day," Dumb Bell commented.

"Must be something in the air," Score said.

- - - - - - - -

"Well bugger, I suppose I had to run out of room eventually," the Doctor said, as he laid defeated in front of the advancing Twilight.

"And tricks. And plans. And options," Twilight purred. She straddled him and nuzzled his nose affectionately. "And limbs not pinned down with magic."

"Those too, those too," the Doctor said with a sigh. "Still! If there's one thing I've learned in my adventures, it's that you cannot rely on yourself at all times. You must rely on others."

"Hmmm," Twilight hummed thoughtfully. "Well I have read that many mares my age experiment with other mares in these areas... And I do so love to experiment..." She beamed at him. "And maintaining an active and healthy sex life is a prerequisite for any long term relationship to be successful!"

The Doctor was appropriately speechless. "You're... Quite well read in those areas..."

Okay, not so speechless.

"Unless I was just stating that to keep you from trying another daring escape," Twilight said with a little smirk.

"Except by admitting that, now I have far greater motivation to escape than before. You, my dear, are becoming quite the tease," the Doctor said with a pointed look.

Twilight balked. "A-A tease?!"

"Yes, a tease. To tease a stallion like myself with such things is making me less and less inclined to, what did you say for me to do?" The Doctor frowned.

"Mount me and ride me into a gooey-"

"Yes, that," the Doctor said with a nod. "And as appealing as it is, what is not appealing is you dangling the prospect of multiple mare participants in our relationship and yanking it away."

"What if I just duplicated myself? I can do that, you know," Twilight said quickly.

"... And now I'm interested again," the Doctor said cheerfully. Twilight huffed, and looked away.

"Just because of the physical aspects of our relationship!"

"Well that's all we really have in our relationship, save for the constant game of wits and attempts to escape and entrap the other. Aside from the fact you are far more attractive than most of my opponents, at the moment we are hero and villainess, nothing more," the Doctor explained.

"What about the 'wanting to make super smart babies of doom' part?" Twilight asked.

"Heard it before," the Doctor sighed. "Though in not quite so attractive a package, mind."

The door slammed open. Twilight growled, and her eyes began to twitch.

"TWILIGHT! I GOT A LETTER FROM PRINCESS CELESTIA FOR YOU!" Spike called. The purple unicorn jumped.

"Uh oh! Oh no... Um... CAN IT WAIT? I'M KIND OF BUSY!" Twilight called.

"IT LOOKS PRETTY URGENT!" Spike called back.

Twilight was silent and deeply focused for a few moments... Before she raised her eyebrows.

"IS THE WORLD ENDING?" Twilight called. "TOTAL APOCALYPSE? DOOM OF EQUESTRIA?"

"UHHH... YEAH! YEAH, IT TOTALLY IS!" Spike called back. Twilight gave the Doctor a very wry look. The chestnut stallion chuckled nervously.

"Ah... Well... You know, if the world is destroyed we can't really get up to any frivolities..."

"SPIKE! TELL THE PRINCESS THAT UNLESS SHE COMES HERSELF, I'M UNAVAILABLE!" Twilight called back.

Dead silence. "Uh... C-COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?"

"TELL THE PRINCESS I'M NOT AVAILABLE, BUT I'LL GET BACK TO HER AT MY EARLIEST CONVENIENCE!" Twilight called. The Doctor's jaw had never gone lower in his memory.

"TWILIGHT, IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE, WE'LL HAVE A FLUTTERSHY IN HEAT UNLEASHED ON THE TOWN!" Applejack cried.

"THAT'S A WORLD ENDING EVENT?" Twilight shouted back, incredulous.

"IT JUST MIGHT BE!" Shouted Spike, who was now in the bedroom. Twilight eeped and fell off the bed. The Doctor looked up and blinked at him.

"Not that I'm complaining... Much... But why did you shout right in the room?"

"Got a bit carried away," Spike admitted. Applejack rushed up to the bed and yanked at the Doctor's restraints with her teeth... Nothing happened. Twilight got back up with a deadly growl.

"Applejack... If you'd asked I might have shared with you, but NOPONY TAKES MY LOVE DOCTOR WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" And Applejack was slammed into the wall with a burst of telekinetic force.

"OOF!" Applejack groaned as she slid down onto the floor. She shook her head clear of dizziness, and glared at Twilight.

"Now Twilight, let's be reasonable about this-"

"I WANT HIS TIME PONY BABIES!" Twilight cried as she leaped over the bed and tackled Applejack. Spike paused to stare... Then shook his head clear and glared at the Doctor, who had not stopped staring.

"What?" He replied at Spike's look. "If it was Rarity in there you'd be staring too."

"Don't remind me," Spike grumbled as he tried to undo his restraints.

- - - - - - - -

Rainbow Dash had found the tallest mountain around, and settled right atop of it. As she was wont to do when she was... Well, let's be frank, scared out of her mind, she curled up in a fetal position and trembled.

Oh Celestia, I nearly... With them...! She shuddered. Oh Celestia...

If she hadn't escaped right then and there... Oh no! What must the Wonderbolts think of me? She may have blown her chances entirely! Just coming on like... Like...

A mare in heat? A snide part of her mind asked. Rainbow Dash trembled and tried to close in more tightly.

"Rainbow Dash... Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh no," Dash moaned, covering her head with her wings. Please don't see me please don't see me please don't see me please don't-

"Well gee, I guess I can't see you when you have your wings over your head," called Spitfire with a giggle. "Your bright blue wings..."

"Ohhh!" Dash moaned again, lifting her wings just in time to see the orange pegasus land nearby. "I... I'm really... Please don't look at me..." She covered her eyes. "Go away!"

"Dash, Dash, it's all right!" Spitfire said in a calm voice. "It's all right. You don't have to run and hide. It's perfectly normal-Everypony goes through it."

"Not like this," Dash groaned. Spitfire huffed.

"Nonsense! You're just overreacting." She stroked Dash's back. "It's all right... Just take deep breaths, listen to the sound of my voice..."

Her sweet, dulcet voice and the comforting touch between her wings helped Dash calm down considerably. She lowered her hooves from her eyes and looked over at Spitfire, who smiled warmly.

"That's it... That's it," Spitfire said. "Now... Come on, tell me what's got you so scared."

"I... I..." Dash trembled. "I guess I'm... Scared of..."

In Rainbow Dash's Imagination...

"Honey, I'm home!" A fat, slovenly pony entered a typical cloud home. "Are you done with dinner yet?"

"Hey hey! We're hungry!" Cried several foals, all around an exhausted, worn down Rainbow Dash.

"It'll be done soon, honey," she got out with a sigh, and stared out a window longingly.

"You aren't ruing the direction your life took because you got pregnant before you could join the Wonderbolts, therefore secretly hating us and yourself and thus drowning in your own self loathing, are you honey?" Her husband asked.

"Of course I'm not!" Dash said. She pulled out a barrel of Sweet Apple Acres' best hard cider and opened it up. "I'm drowning myself in alcohol!"

"Just checking!" Her husband called back, as Dash jumped into the barrel headfirst.

Spitfire blinked. She blinked again. Rainbow Dash covered her eyes with her hooves.

This is it... This is the part where I say good bye to my shot at the Wonderbolts, Rainbow mentally groaned.

"... Does Sweet Apple Acres have barrels of hard cider for sale?" Spitfire finally asked.

"Huh?" Dash asked, lowering her hooves to blink at Spitfire. The orange pegasus smiled gently at her, tilting her head.

"Do they? Because that sounds like something I'd like to get in on. Sounds kind of fun," she waggled her eyebrows.

Rainbow Dash shook her head in disbelief. "You... You're making fun of me?!"

"Not at all," Spitfire said, still smiling. "I just found that fantasy of yours... A bit cute." She kissed the top of Dash's head, which made the blue pegasus blush.

"C-Cute?"

"Come on Dash," Spitfire said, bumping the blue pegasus's head with her own. "Heat isn't that big a problem. In fact," she licked her lips and nuzzled the top of Dash's head. "I have a solution. It's a solution I can't offer to you here though, it's much too..." She pawed the top of the mountain. "Rough and cold."

Dash's mind went to all sorts of interesting places at this, and she trembled as she blushed bright red.

"What? Why?" Dash asked.

"Because I want to help you with this problem of yours," Spitfire said. "Come on..."

"I... I don't think anypony can help me," Dash admitted with a shiver. Spitfire sighed, rolled her head on her shoulders, and shook out her wings.

"Oh well... If you really want to sit on the top of this mountain for the rest of your life, that's your choice..." She looked down the mountain at Canterlot, gleaming in the sun despite the distance. "I guess I'll just have to fly down to Canterlot, racing myself."

Dash's ears twitched at the mention of "race". "Huh?"

"Oh yes," Spitfire said with a shrug. "I mean, I was thinking I could see what you've got, race you, see if you could beat me. But, seeing how you're going to hide on top of this mountain forever, I guess I'll just have to assume I would..." And here Spitfire smirked. "Beat you by a mile."

Dash's eyes narrowed. "What did you say? Nopony is faster than me!"

"I'm standing right here and already I'm faster than you," Spitfire snorted. "I don't count trembling."

Her dander rose with her body as Rainbow Dash got up onto her hooves.

"Why, I-I could beat you with my wings tied behind my back! I could beat you with my eyes closed!" Dash growled. "There's nopony faster than me in all of Equestria!"

"I'm just not seeing it," Spitfire said, looking up at the sky innocently. "Of course, you're welcome to prove it... Unless you couldn't beat me even in heat." She lowered her eyes to Rainbow Dash's with a smirk. "Hard to buy your other claims when that's what's keeping you on this mountain."

"Even in heat I can beat your bright orange flanks any time of the week!" Dash snarled.

"Well then, prove it!" Spitfire said. "Beat me to the Astronomy Tower in Canterlot Palace and then we'll talk."

"You're on!" Dash said. She lined up next to Spitfire, and got in a ready position. "On your mark..."

"Get set," Spitfire said... Before jumping off. "Go!"

"HEY! That's cheating!" Dash shouted, jumping off after her. Spitfire smiled to herself as she extended her legs and pulled back her wings for her dive. In her peripheral vision she could see Rainbow Dash copying her as they dropped down the mountain.

There we go, there's that fire again, Spitfire thought happily. Only question is... How will we put that passion to work for you to resolve your little problem?

Spitfire smiled brightly. Of course!

- - - - - - -

The race to the Astronomy Tower was a dead heat, but the two arrived at very nearly the same time. Atop the tower roof they panted, catching their breath. All the same, Dash couldn't help some gloating.

"HA! I did it! I made it, and you were wrong!" Dash gasped, grinning widely at the orange pegasus. Spitfire chuckled throatily.

"You sure showed me," Spitfire said. She smiled and trotted over to Dash. She nuzzled her nose affectionately. "I'm very glad."

Dash turned bright red.

"And now that we're here," Spitfire continued, "I have the perfect solution to your problem."

"Uh... Huh?" Dash asked, unable to help a gulp as Spitfire didn't move away. "What... What kind of solution?"

"Oh, he'll be arriving very, very soon," Spitfire purred. Dash blinked

"Huh? He? He who?"

"Spitfire!" Called a masculine voice. Dash and Spitfire turned to see a charcoal gray pegasus in Royal Guard armor fly up and land on the roof nearby. His green eyes focused on Spitfire, then flicked to Dash. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything's going to be fine," Spitfire said. She moved over to the Guard and kissed him on the lips, before standing next to the stallion. Dash blinked rapidly.

"Uh... What?"

"Stormcrow, this is Rainbow Dash, a friend of mine who has a problem," Spitfire said. "Rainbow Dash? This is Stormcrow-My husband."

"... H-Husband? You're married?!" Dash gasped.

"Yes," Spitfire said. "And I wanted you to meet him so we could discuss your obvious issues with intimacy." The orange pegasus raised her eyebrows. "What did you think my solution to your problem was?"

"Well..."

In Rainbow Dash's imagination...

"Oh Spitfire, I love you so much," Dash moaned. "But this heat... It's unbearable...!"

"Don't you worry, Dash," Spitfire purred, running her hooves and wings over Dash's painfully hot body. "Spitfire will make everything better. Just one thing?"

"Y-Yes...?'

"Call me Mistress Spitfire," Spitfire hissed, blowing into Rainbow Dash's ear. The blue pegasus trembled.

"Oh! Oh yes, Mistress, YES!"

"..." The two other pegasuses stared with wide eyes.

"... I said that out loud, didn't I?" Rainbow Dash mumbled, covering her burning face with her hooves.

"Well, I'm not complaining," Stormcrow said with a little wink. His wife kicked his knee lightly, and the two chuckled.

"Oh you," Spitfire said. She shrugged. "Still... I suppose if Dash really needs that kind of help, I could oblige~." She raised her eyebrows at her husband. "When is your birthday again?"

"Any day you get an idea like that," Stormcrow said with a grin.

"Uht... Uht... Uht...?" Rainbow Dash grunted, unable to form coherent words. Her fatigue, heat, and various conflicting thoughts all collided inside her brain, allowing her to come up with the best possible solution to her present situation.

Unfortunately it seemed that solution was "borrow from Fluttershy", because Dash fell over in a dead faint.

- - - - - - - -

With a name like Lucky and three Four-Leaf Clovers for a cutie mark, it was little wonder what made him stand out among other ponies. Lucky was a lucky stallion, luckier than most ponies, stallion or mare. However, what most ponies didn’t know about Lucky was that luck went both ways for him. One day he could be very, very fortunate, with everything going his way.

Others could drive a pony to drink.

Lucky wasn’t sure which it was going to be today, as he trotted through the main square of Ponyville amidst a riot of fleeing mares rushing to get their significant others into any cover they could find, be it behind closed doors, into barrels, or through windows.

“Huh…but it’s not the week before the Summer Sun Celebration.” The bluish gray pony said to himself–referring to the one time of the year all stallions had learned to hide except for those who vastly underestimated their libido and stamina.

“Hey…excuse me…can anyone tell me…hey!” He tried and failed to get someone to explain what was going on, and before he knew it, the streets were clear of everypony except for him.

He looked around, and noticed while the doors were locked, and windows were covered, he was being watched by those in hiding. Suddenly, it felt like his luck was going to swing towards bad today.

“Hello.” A gentle, husky voice called from behind Lucky, startling him. Turning around, he jumped back when he saw Fluttershy hovering just above the ground, staring intently at him.

“Oh, hello Fluttershy.” Lucky looked around. “Do you have any idea what’s going on? Everypony’s acting like it’s the end of the world.”

Or that she was in heat, he added to himself. But that was impossible; it wasn’t the week before the Summer Sun Celebration.

Fluttershy nodded, as though she wasn’t really paying him any attention as she began to circle around him. “That’s nice, I guess.”

Lucky turned his head to follow her. “That’s nice? Fluttershy, did you hear what I said? The whole town’s acting like it’s the end of the world. Isn’t that a little strange?”

“I don’t really care.” Fluttershy replied, she rounded Lucky’s flank and came up alongside him.

Well, that was even stranger, Lucky noted to himself. Of all ponies, Fluttershy would be the one pony most worried about an end of the world scenario. “Fluttershy, are you all right? You seem not yourself.”

Fluttershy smiled at him, performed a flick of her hair, and walked forward, in front of him. It was as she walked away, that Lucky finally inhaled and smelled it.

Lucky froze where he stood, and stared blankly at Fluttershy, who looked back at him. “Lucky, I would be grateful if you mounted me.” She politely requested.

His eyes slightly glazed over, and his gaze locked onto her flanks, Lucky nodded numbly. “Of course, right away.”

There was no hesitation afterward, and those who witnessed it wept for the unluckiest Stallion in Ponyville.

- - - - - - - - -

"Oooohhhhaaawaaaahhhhh!" Twilight cried out loudly, practically making the walls shake with her cry. Spike contemplated, just for a moment, cutting off his ears just so he would never, ever have to hear Twilight in ecstasy again.

Then he remembered he was a dragon and thus his ears were entirely inside his head. He cursed his luck, even as the Doctor tucked his sonic screwdriver back into his pocket, and adjusted his tie and collar.

"Where exactly did you find those?" Spike asked as Twilight panted for breath before them in the library. The Doctor shrugged.

"Well, I always try to look my best when facing the possibility of doomsday," he said.

"... That didn't answer my question-"

"Doc, mind lettin' me borrow that thing... For uh... Study purposes, ah bet there are all sorts o' things ah could use it for around the farm," Applejack said, her eyes glazing over. Spike snapped his fingers in front of her face, and the farmer blinked and shook her head.

"Ah... Sorry," she said with a deep blush.

"It's all right," the Doctor said. "Now Twilight, do you think you can focus?"

"Ahhh... S-Sure," Twilight sighed. "I think the appropriate book is... Hmmm... I really like you with the tie and collar Doctor-"

"Twilight, focus," the Doctor said firmly. "What book is it?"

"Ah... Elements of Harmony Dynamics," Twilight said. "Just look under 'E'."

Spike scanned the bookshelves, yanked out the appropriate tome, and set it down in front of Twilight. The purple unicorn read through the book quickly, her eyes zipping back and forth through the text.

"Well? Is there a way to... To relieve this?" Applejack asked.

"I really don't see the problem with it," Twilight said flatly. "I mean, so what if Fluttershy's in heat? It's not that big an... Issue... Uh oh."

"Uh oh?" The Doctor asked. "What's 'uh oh'?"

"... Um, it's nothing! Nothing at all!" Twilight said quickly. The Doctor held up his screwdriver. Twilight licked her lips. "That's not going to encourage me, Doctor."

"It will... If I threaten to stop using it," the Doctor stated. The two geniuses locked gazes, staring intently, will against will. Spike felt Applejack's hoof on his rump.

"TWILIGHT! PLEASE TELL US!" Spike shouted. Twilight blinked, then sighed.

"All right... The thing is, the Elements of Harmony will keep pumping this excess life energy into us for... Well... Pretty much the rest of our lives." Twilight would have rubbed her chin thoughtfully, but she was tied up. "The real threat is in its influence... Well... Spreading."

"Spreading?" Applejack asked in dread. "How much 'spreadin' are we talkin' here?"

"Well... Any pony who has been in contact with the energies of the Elements of Harmony might start experiencing the same symptoms," Twilight said carefully. "We're the Holders, so we're the ones with the most exposure. But given the raw amounts of power they're channeling to us even when they're not active, that energy has to go somewhere, so..."

"You might say the other ponies will turn into... 'heat sinks'," the Doctor said, adjusting a pair of glasses he'd pulled on.

"Yeah," Twilight said. "So we need a way to... To vent this excess energy somehow, before the pony with the next-to-greatest exposure to the elements begins feeling the effects."

Applejack, Spike and the Doctor all froze in horror.

"... Fluttershy's bad enough, but a Princess?!" Applejack cried. "We gotta do something!"

"All right, all right, all right! Calm down, everypony," the Doctor said. He looked to Twilight. "What ways could we vent this excess?"

"There's the most obvious way," Twilight purred.

"Okay, let's call that Plan B. Do we have a Plan A?" The Doctor asked.

"We'd need to gather the Holders of the Elements, get the elements themselves from Canterlot, and vent the excess energies by using them," Twilight said, a bit reluctantly. The Doctor nodded, and turned to Applejack.

"Applejack! I suggest you run to the farm and grab some supplies. Spike? You send off a message to Princess Celestia informing her the Holders of the Elements need to see her at once and it's an emergency. I'll round up the other Elemental Holders. Twilight?"

"Yes?" Twilight asked eagerly.

"Yours is the most important job of all," the Doctor said. "You must stay here, and stay tied up."

"... Only if you promise that if I'm still in heat after Plan A, you'll help me relieve it," Twilight said. The Doctor smiled brightly and nodded.

"Agreed! All right Ponies and Dragon, Allon~sy!"

- - - - - - -

Zecora had ventured out of her hut at around eleven o'clock. Her intent was to gather some herbs and spices for her lunch stew, all for the making of a far more potent brew. She did enjoy variations in tastes and the local flora and fauna could make for a number of interesting differences from her native homeland's foodstuffs.

She had just settled on some green and purple mushrooms to add a dash of bitterness to her lunch, when she heard something cry out in the distance.

"Hm? That sound I hear speaks distress; the victim I shall address!" The zebra enchantress cried. Taking her staff in her mouth, she galloped as quickly as she could in the direction of the cry. Over a brook, through some trees, more sounds became known to her ears and she felt dread at one in particular: The low grumbling growl of a land crocodile, or 'swamp dragon' as some termed them.

Zecora preferred the latter name... Largely because dragons were cool, but to admit that would be to lose her mystique and she had to admit she rather liked it.

"Hold on, hold on, unknown being! Your salvation you will be seeing!" She shouted, as she tossed her staff to her head and balanced it on her nose as she continued to gallop. She broke through some bushes and slid to a halt, ready to let loose with some potion-generated gas or a hypnotizing stare.

"Oh thank goodness you're here!" The swamp dragon groaned to her, his limbs twisted in unnatural directions. "They beat me up and then they... They..."

"Oh! Ohhh... H-Hey Zecoraaahh!" Pinkie Pie gasped. The stallion she was with, a blonde ruddy specimen with an apple on his rump, waved a hoof.

"Howdy Miss Zecora!" The stallion greeted. "Haa... Haa... We're a bit busy, as you can see..."

Zecora blinked several times at the scene, before she sighed deeply.

"Behold these ponies, without any class! A fillie like that likes it in the-"

"Heeeeeyyyyy!"

"... grass," Zecora amended, at Pinkie's cry. "I gather you are all right, Pinkie Pie? No crisis but to make me close my eyes?"

"Oh-Ohhh yeahhh... I'm grrrreat," Pinkie said with a wide grin. "Funny, m-my heat just hit me today, more than I've ever-Ahh yesss-felt beforrre..."

"It is curious to behold, this day you've become so bold," Zecora frowned. "The air suggests in general, that this is not quite natural."

"Of course it's naturalll... Ahhh..." Pinkie giggled as her partner became a bit more enthusiastic. "You want to feel how natural it is~?"

Zecora blushed deeply, and looked over at the swamp dragon. "Your generous offer I must decline, this creature's condition gives off bad signs."

"Okey-dokey-lokeeeeyyyyyy!" Pinkie cried. "AH YES! HARDER!"

Zecora got to work healing the wounds of the swamp dragon.

"I had no idea these ponies were so shameless," she murmured. "It is not natural for them to be heartless."

"Great. First I get beat up by a crazy pink pony, then she goes off to mate with an annoying stallion right in front of me, and now my life is in the hooves of an annoying rhyming witch," the swamp dragon grumbled.

"Leave you to your doom I could," Zecora said coldly.

"I take it back, I take it back!" The predator gasped.

"Then act as a good patient should," the zebra said cheerfully. She resolved to investigate the matter more thoroughly once she was done with the croc. While fond of riddles herself, Zecora preferred them solved.

In particular, why she felt herself growing hot despite her heat being a few months away...

- - - - - - - -