Beating the Heat

or

Friendship is Kinky

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction

By Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: I... REGRET... NOTHING!

- - - - - - -

Rainbow Dash slowly returned to consciousness, feeling as though she was resting on a nice, warm cloud. She snuggled into it, and stretched out, moaning a bit at the nice feeling of soft silk flowing over her fur.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash."

"Hello Princess Celestia," Dash said, once again not looking in the direction of the voice until horrific realization hit her. "Bwah?!"

She saw the Princess sitting on the bed with her, wearing a warm smile. Dash's jaw fell to the surface of the bed, and she looked around almost frantically. They were in a warmly colored, comfortably adorned room with an ornate fireplace and a wide balcony overlooking the valley Ponyville resided in.

"Uh... Um... Where am I?" Dash asked.

"My bedroom," Celestia said. Dash sighed in relief.

"Oh! Oh good... Good..." Dash blinked. "That is good, right?"

"Of course it is, my little pony," Celestia laughed, and Dash instantly felt her concerns vanish. She smiled back.

"Um... Where are Spitfire and Stormcrow?" Dash asked.

"I'm afraid they had to deal with a slight... Situation," Celestia said with a noticeable pause. Dash blinked, and studied the Princess. She looked almost as peaceful as ever, serene even, but...

"What kind of situation?" Dash asked.

"A situation that required them to seek some private time. It seems to be a condition that is... Spreading," Celestia said. "I believe you might be able to tell me more?"

Dash blushed brightly, and couldn't help wiggling her flanks. "Ah... I-I don't know exactly what you mean."

"Well then, perhaps I should refresh your memory," Celestia said with a little smile. She trotted to the window, and Rainbow Dash stared in confusion.

"Ah, Your Majesty? What is it?" Dash asked. Celestia went right out onto the balcony, and whistled. It was a long, clear note that filled the air like bird song, and a few moments later it received an answer.

An answer, Dash saw with dread, in the form of four Royal Guards. Four sweaty, smelly, panting Royal Guards.

"Rainbow Dash, allow me to introduce you to Captain Galland and Sergeants Zero, Thatch, and Mustang," Celestia said. All four Royal Guards saluted with their wings, and Rainbow Dash trembled as she got a whiff of them all.

"N-Nice to meet you," she managed in a wavering voice.

"Sergeant Mustang and Captain Galland are both veterans of air combat over Llamistan and Wolfenstein, and Thatch and Zero have served in our special forces over Aduuna, Brahmain and... Where else did you serve, Zero?" Celestia asked.

"In combat with a gigantic fire serpent during Discord's rampage, your majesty," the stallion reported dutifully. "That also turned into a set of moving explosions made of metal and lightning." He looked over at his companions. "In fairness, everypony participated in trying to stop that."

"Yeah," Mustang said. His other companions nodded.

"That sounds... So very... Metal," Dash crooned.

"About twenty percent more metal than most ponies could withstand, if you'll forgive me for saying so miss," Zero said with a slight smile. The blue pegasus trembled.

"Mmhm," Celestia nodded. "Didn't all of you have to break the sound barrier about... Four times just to try to keep it contained?" She gained a bit of a grin as she saw Rainbow Dash start to pant.

"F-Four Times?" Dash asked breathlessly.

"Five times ma'am,," Galland said. "It was a good thing our section was with the Wonderbolts for a season or two, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to synchronize our efforts." He looked over at Dash curiously, as his fellow Guards stared a bit more intensely.

"W-Wonderbolts? You were with the Wonderbolts?" Dash asked, now poised on all fours like a cat about to spring. Her tail was even waving, practically pointed at the ceiling.

"Yes ma'am?" Galland said uncertainly. He looked over at Celestia. "Ma'am, I'm not quite sure what this-"

"It will become clear very soon, Captain," Celestia soothed. "One final detail... You are all single, are you not?"

"Yes your Majesty," all four reported.

"Good!" Celestia said cheerfully. "Then I have a new assignment for you. Please serve this savior of our world twice over as she needs. Keep her here, keep her happy."

"Ah... How are we to do that, your Majesty?" Captain Galland asked.

"I think you'll get a pretty good idea soon enough," Celestia said. If you'll excuse me..."

Dash gasped.

"Pr-Princess! You can't just-I'm gonna-I can't control myself!"

"Yes, this much is obvious," Celestia said. "But, given how Miss Spitfire is reacting, I think it only prudent to take certain... Precautions. At least until you're in a state I can reliably obtain knowledge from." She gave Rainbow Dash a little grin.

"Besides... For a pony of your caliber, only the best would suffice. Please, accept this service from ponies who all owe you their best... Including myself?"

"Well..." Dash said nervously, looking to the side. She looked back and yelped as she saw Celestia had moved right in front of her, giving her puppy dog eyes.

"Please, Rainbow Dash?" The Princess pleaded. She lowered her voice. "Besides, it's either have them service you or risk Luna getting her hooves on them."

Dash gaped. "Pr-Princess Luna is...?"

"Yes. So until that situation is... Handled, I require you to be... Handled. Understand?" Celestia asked.

"But-But I-"

"Please?" Celestia asked, putting her hooves together and allowing her lower lip to wobble. Rainbow Dash looked past her at the guards, who all looked at her in admiration (which she liked) and lust (which she found herself liking even more).

"... Oh... All... All right," Rainbow Dash said.

"Wonderful!" Celestia said, clapping her hooves together. She looked over at the guards. "Are you comfortable with your mission, Captain?"

"Comfort has nothing to do with it," Galland said, keeping his composure despite the influence of Dash's heat getting to him. "Our duty is enjoyable enough... Especially in this case, right gentlecolts?"

"Right sir!" They said.

"Huh? You... You're fine with... You want me to do with... All of them?" Dash gasped.

"Of course," Thatch said with a shrug. "After you've been what we've been through, you're totally comfortable with one another."

"Giant snakes made of explosions do that," Zero said dryly.

"Besides, it's not gay if it's a threeway," Mustang intoned sagely. "Or five way... as long as there's a mare in the middle." At his comrade's stares he shrugged. "What?"

"Well said, Mustang!" Celestia complimented. She looked over at Dash. "Any further worries?"

"... Ah... I can't really remember them right now," Dash said, licking her lips.

"Well until you can, please, enjoy yourselves," Celestia said. She got behind the Royal Guards, and flapped her wings. Once. The scent washed over Rainbow Dash's nostrils, and her traditional confidence merged with her lust into a kind of super-confident... Lust.

That was also a bomb, given how she launched herself off the bed.

"BANZAI!" She cried, pouncing on the four stallions at once.

"Well... One down," Celestia murmured, turning away and flying off.

- - - - - - -

Applejack galloped to Sweet Apple Acres a lot harder than she normally would, but she needed an outlet for the excess heat between her legs that didn't involve what she really, really wanted.

"Huff... Huff... Huff..." She caught her breath, slowly, and trotted over to the barn. She began gathering supplies quickly, dumping it into her saddlebags.

"All right... Rope, definitely need rope," she muttered. "Chains? Definitely, definitely gonna need chains." She dumped those into the saddlebags too. She found a bottle of chloroform and frowned.

"APPLEBLOOM!" Applejack shouted. Her little sister soon appeared, looking sullen.

"Yeah Applejack?"

"What have ah told you about yer Cutie Mark Crusadin'?" Applejack asked sternly. Applebloom sighed, and looked to the side.

"'Ah ain't gonna become a Cutie Mark Crusader Mobster and/or Kidnapper,'" she said. Applejack nodded.

"That's right..." Applejack frowned, looked at the bottle... And dumped it into her saddlebags too. Applebloom scowled.

"Hey! That ain't fair! Why do you get to use it and ah don't?!"

"Now listen very closely, Applebloom," Applejack said. "You ain't to leave the house until ah get back, understand? Don't open it for nopony, especially Fluttershy."

"But-But it ain't the week before the Summer Sun Festival! Why do ah hafta stay inside?" Applebloom pouted.

"Things have changed. Now you stay in that house and you don't come out for nothin', promise?" Applejack said.

Applebloom pouted. Applejack growled and grabbed her chin in her hoof.

"Promise?!"

"Ah promise," Applebloom said sullenly. She headed off back to the farmhouse, and Applejack sighed.

Well, that stuff should come in handy... She smiled. It'll keep Twilight from having her merry way with th' Doctor, at least... Though maybe ah could have a turn if she's gonna-

Applejack galloped out of the barn as though she were on fire, charged for the nearest water pool, and jumped right in.

- - - - - - -

Soarin' had few problems with navigation around Ponyville, at least from high above. He and the other Wonderbolts could easily recognize the tall steeple of the city hall from training flights, and the Sweet Apple Acres barn stood out as a proud, obvious landmark.

Still, he didn't think it would be proper for him to just fly on into the bedroom of some poor farmer, so instead he decided to land at the front entrance as a proper guest.

Or at least he would have, if he hadn't spied an orange mare gallop out of the barn and jump into a pool of water.

"What the hay?" He gasped incredulously. He shifted his weight forward and dived, screaming right for the surface of the water. He then arrested his acceleration by spreading all six of his limbs (seven if you counted his tail) to brake and came to a hover right over the water. He dove his head in, took hold of the mane of the mare, and flapped his wings as hard as he could.

"Huff! Cough! Ahh... Hey! Wh-What's the big idea?!" The mare coughed, sputtered and cursed at him as he set her down on dry land. Soarin' landed in front of her and scowled, while wondering why she looked so familiar.

"Hey! That's my line! You're the crazy mare who jumped into the water!"

"Crazy?! I'll have you know that ah... Ah..." The mare looked shocked for a moment, and Soarin's memory made the connection.

"Hey! You're that... That... AH! You're Applejack! Hey, remember me?" Soarin' asked with a grin. "Soarin'? The Wonderbolt?"

"Ah... Ah..." The mare trembled. Soarin' frowned. Was she intimidated?

Oh! Wait! She just doesn't recognize me without the uniform! Soarin' thought to himself, quite reasonably.

"You know, you sold me that pie? That wonderful, delicious apple pie? It was fantastic by the way, worth every bit," Soarin' said with a smile.

"Ah... You... You should really go," Applejack said quickly, turning away with a bright blush. Soarin' blinked in confusion, and came up alongside her.

"Huh?"

"Really, you ought a leave right now," Applejack warned, stubbornly looking away from him.

"So, this is the thanks I get for saving your life?" Soarin' asked with a raised eyebrow. "Some country hospitality!"

"You didn't save mah life! Now git, ah'm tryin' to save yours!" Applejack growled. Soarin' huffed.

"Oh yeah? From what?"

"From me, you idiot! There's no time to explain, so git!" Applejack swung her rear around and chambered her legs to kick him. Soarin', however, was fast and so he hopped over her attack to hover above.

"What?!" He shouted in disbelief.

"GO! RUN YOU IDIOT!" Applejack shouted.

Soarin' responded by charging her, and knocking her onto her back with a perfectly executed body blow. He then got on top of her and held her legs apart with his.

"Wh-WHAT IN TARNATION AND ALL THE BOWELS OF PONY HELL ARE YOU DOIN'?!" Applejack screamed at him.

"Urgh!" Soarin' growled, trying to keep her pinned. "I'm trying to stop you from hurting yourself! What exactly is the problem?"

"YER THE PROBLEM!" Applejack shouted at him. "AH'M IN HEAT SOMETHIN' AWFUL AND YER THE IDEAL STALLION FOR ME TO RIDE! IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FER YOU?!"

Soarin' blinked. A bright blush was on Applejack's cheeks... And his gained the same coloring as he caught her scent. Her wonderful, enticing scent.

"Ah... That... That is a problem," Soarin' said in a low voice. Applejack's struggles lessened and she licked her lips.

"Goshdarnit... Ah was so careful all day, t' not get too close and here you go, playin' hero like a brainless idiot," Applejack breathed in a husky voice.

"I like playing hero," Soarin' said with an aroused growl as he nuzzled her neck. "I happen to be damn good at it in real life."

"Some hero, chargin' right into somethin' he don't understand," Applejack hissed back. "Ah..."

"You like it though, don't you?" Soarin' said with a feral grin. Applejack very slowly nodded.

"Uh... Uh huh..."

"Well... Why don't I just-MMPH!" Soarin's eyes bugged out as a cottonball went over his face. Applejack was shaken out of her heat induced trance by the smell of chloroform, and she rolled out from under Soarin' before he collapsed. Applejack looked over at her savior... The Doctor.

"Sorry, I saw him flying for your farm and I feared the worse," the Doctor said. "You all right?"

Applejack felt a very brief urge to buck the Doctor's head off his shoulders, but was able to suppress it.

"Yeah, ah'm fine," Applejack grumbled. "How's Spike doin'?"

"He's having trouble getting, er... The others away from their beaus," the Doctor said. He glanced at Soarin'. "Seems you had some trouble too," he said wryly.

"Yeah... Some," Applejack admitted. "Ah'll uh, be down there in a second. You better get outta here."

"Right," the Doctor said. The Time Pony galloped off, leaving Applejack with an unconscious Soarin'. She licked her lips.

- - - - - - -

"Applejack! Applejack!" Applebloom shouted from her window.

"Yeah Applebloom?" Applejack shouted in return as she trotted for the road as quickly as she could.

"Why do you have a blue pegasus strapped to yer back?" Applebloom shouted. Applejack shivered, and looked back at the snoozing Soarin'.

"Plan B!" Applejack called back. She then galloped off for Twilight's home, unable to help her grin. Applebloom watched her go, before turning around and sulking.

"Fine, don't tell me..."

- - - - - - -

Collapsing to the ground, a completely exhausted and delirious Lucky was in a relaxed daze as he panted for breath. Flapping her wings and stomping her hooves, Fluttershy stretched and giggled as she enjoyed the all-too-fleeting afterglow. Fleeting, and quickly being replaced by the irresistible urge to mate once again. Turning around, she looked down at Lucky.

“I would like to go again.” She said to him.

Staring up at this pony made of sex, Lucky ignored his body’s wails of “You already mounted her five times in rapid succession, stop!” and tried to get back up on his hooves. His legs shaking like he was a newborn foal, he rose up, let out a wheeze and fell back down.

“And…I’m spent.” He declared in a mock British accent.

Fluttershy could see this, and decided that she’d try her luck elsewhere. Opening her wings, she lifted off into the air without giving her broken toy any second thought and began circling overhead like a hawk searching for prey.

Luckily for Ponyville, she didn’t find her next target below, for after only two orbits over the town, Fluttershy spotted a gray Pegasus stallion moving a small bank of clouds towards its edge.

“Of all days for Rainbow Dash to decide to act like a recluse, I’m not as fast as she is. There is way too much sky over Ponyville for one Pegasus.” Vince, one of the many Pegasus who helped out during the Winter Wrap Up complained as he pushed the clouds together, hoping to make one big cloud to push away from Ponyville for disposal, rather than zip around and disperse them individually like Dash.

Still, he couldn’t understand why Dash wanted to stay in today with such great flying weather. He kind of wished that he’d asked her little fan club–who asked him to take her place today–why she was locking herself up.

“The only time Rainbow Dash doesn’t want to do any flying is if she’s sick or in…” Vince trailed off when he caught a whiff of what was unmistakably a mare in estrus, and all of his thought processes screeched to a halt.

“…Buh…dah…” He sniffed the air, and slowly turned his head.

There was Fluttershy, sitting on a cloud, smiling at him.

In the back of his mind, a voice of experience called out.

FLY YOU FOOL. SHE WILL DRAIN YOU OF YOUR LIFE AS SHE HAS BEFORE.

Fluttershy’s come-hither gaze was unbearably erotic, and the hair-flick she added just amplified it to ridiculous levels. The voice of experience wailed again.

YOU ALMOST DIED LAST TIME. FLY. NOW.

It went ignored, as Fluttershy turned her flanks to him and presented herself. Over her shoulder, she called to Vince.

“Mount me.” She commanded.

Completely hypnotized, Vince obeyed. “At once, Miss Fluttershy.”

A number of vigorous couplings later, an exhausted and dehydrated Vince fell out of the sky and through the roof of the Library, and Fluttershy resumed circling the airspace over Ponyville in search of more fun.

- - - - - - - - - -

It was pretty much one hundred percent official: This day sucked. And Spike would gladly emphasize how much it sucked with the deepest, grinding growl he could add, because it really, truly sucked.

"Big Mac! Rarity!" He called into the shop. "Big Mac! Rarity! Come on, we need to go!"

There was silence, and Spike entered, his senses strained to their maximum. He was alert for the slightest noise, the slightest telling scent...

Beyond the scent of all the sex, of course.

"Nngh," he trembled. He was conflicted. On one claw, he did have a major crush on Rarity. And Big Mac was his friend. But, well... Not getting to endure "the peril" still grated on him furiously.

On the other... He didn't want to die. All the same, today just really, really, really sucked and-

"GAH!" Big Mac cried as he fell down the stairs, covered in bruises and scratches. Spike forgot his grudge for a moment and rushed over to the big stallion.

"Big Mac!" Spike said. "You okay?"

The big stallion stared up at the ceiling with a dazed smile. He chewed on a knitting needle, which had taken the place of his usual piece of grass between his teeth.

"Eeyup," he said with a nod.

"What... What happened?" Spike asked, eyes wide as he took in the damage. As Big Mac opened his mouth, Spike waved his claws.

"I-I mean, not the details of... I mean, why are you downstairs?"

"Time-out," Big Mac said, with a grin that reminded Spike of the look he'd been wearing right after surviving going over a waterfall: The recent past had held mind numbing terror but also plenty of excitement to make up for it.

"Well... We need to get her to Canterlot," Spike said. "It's the only way to fix this before... Well, before Princess Luna becomes like this."

"Hm? Don't see why she shouldn't get some... Relaxin' in herself," Big Mac commented.

"What about when she's ten times as bad as Fluttershy?" Spike asked grimly. Big Mac huffed.

"Oh, that. Everypony makes such a big deal outta her heat. T'ain't that bad."

"But-But everypony was in such a panic!" Spike protested. Big Mac nodded.

"Eeyup."

"They acted like it was the end of the world!" Spike pushed. Big Mac thoughtfully chewed on his knitting needle.

"Eeyup."

"But it isn't a big problem to you?" Spike asked in disbelief.

"Nnnope," Big Mac said. He got up and shook out his mane. Spike stared in some disbelief.

"All right... How is it not a big deal?"

"She has certain ways o' bein' dealt with," Big Mac said mysteriously. "I'll jest leave it at that."

Spike gawped at the stallion for a while, before shaking his head clear.

"... Right, well... What if every mare in Equestria became like Fluttershy? Because that's also very possible!"

Big Mac paused his chewing, blinked, and then slowly nodded.

"Ah. That might be a problem, eeyup."

"So we're going to need Rarity and the other Elements, fast," Spike said. "Can you get her to Twilight's library?"

"Eeyup," Big Mac said with a nod.

"... Do I want to know how you're going to do that?" Spike asked. The big stallion shook his head with a grin.

"Nnnope."

"Didn't think so," Spike said dryly. He headed outside and spotted a cloaked figure trotting into town. "Eh? Hey!" He ran towards the figure. Could it be...?

"Zecora!" He called. The figure turned at her name, and smiled at Spike through the shadow of her hood.

"Somepony to explain I seek, why all of Ponyville seems so meek." She sniffed the air. "Aromas I smell of lust and fear, yet menace I cannot see here!"

"It's Fluttershy. She's in heat," Spike replied.

"So is Pinkie Pie, in the woods I spied," Zecora said, "She's busy with her new Apple brony, dancing a dance to make new pink ponies."

Spike shivered and forced the mental image out of his mind. He needed to focus.

"Do you remember exactly where? We need her and all the other Elements of Harmony to keep this from happening to... To... What are you looking at?" Spike asked. Zecora was staring intently at him, and licked her lips.

"Do you know, little purple dragon, of the worth of your seed?" Zecora asked with a little smile. "So many potent potions to be made from doing the deed."

"Z-Zecora! Not you too!" Spike gasped, backing away. The zebra chuckled throatily.

"An observation only, my dear dragon. I did not even bring the proper flagon."

"Phew," Spike sighed. Zecora nuzzled the top of his head and breathed against his sensitive head ridges.

"Of course for a substitute I assume, you would not object to using my-"

"ZECORA!" Spike cried, jumping back. Zecora shrugged.

"Just a thought."

"Anyway, can you get Pinkie Pie here?" Spike said.

"She is easily brought," the zebra said.

"Good, then get going," Spike said. The zebra nodded, and licked her lips.

"Though, if we should fail in our task-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, you can get your flask," Spike sighed. I didn't know I'd need a dance card for this day...

Zecora galloped away quickly, and Spike rubbed his chin.

Hmmm... That's Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack is coming soon, Twilight should still be in the library... That leaves Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Now, how am I going to find Fluttershy?

"Oh... Excuse me Spike, but I was wondering, if it wasn't too much trouble, if you could do something for me~?" A low, sensual voice asked in his ear. Spike froze, and slowly looked to his right. A pair of bright, beautiful blue eyes were locked on him, just above a sweet, hungry smile.

Well... One problem solved, the dragon thought with a gulp.

- - - - - -

Can I get a "DUN DUN DUNNN"?