Dear Twilight Sparkle,

There's something I don't seem to understand. Maybe it's just because I'm old, and you're all so young, but... Why is it that whenever I hear some pony singing a song I've never heard before, all of the other ponies around start to join? Where have they heard the song before, and how do they have all of those lyrics memorized?! Seriously. I remember I was in Canterlot, greeting ponies before the Grand Galloping Gala. Then all of a sudden, just about everypony around me bursted into song, singing "AT THE GALAAAA, AT THE GALAAAA!!!" I didn't know what the heck was going on. I thought that maybe it was some surprise performance. BUT NO. THERE'S MORE. I remember back when it was winter. I was observing the slow but significant work being done to prepare for spring. However, at one point all of the ponies were singing something along the lines of "WINTER WRAP-UP, WINTER WRAP-UUUUUP! LET'S FINISH OUR HOLIDAY CHEER!" They sang the same notes, the same lyrics, the same rhythms... I don't get it! There is definitely something suspicious going on here. Twilight, your next assignment is to create a data base of every song that anypony in Ponyville knows. Gather all of the lyrics and give them to me. If these lyrics are kept secret from me, this will put my throne and the rest of Equestria at risk... If I look like a fool for not knowing the lyrics, disaster will strike before we know it.

I'm counting on you,
Princess Celestia