Twilight's Answering Machine 4

All of the following are recordings from the answering machine and are voice only.

Twilight Sparkle: Hi, this is Twilight Sparkle and my Number 1 Assistant, Spike. We are not at home right now and…

(A white hoof presses the “delete” button on the answering machine. It turns out to be Rarity, standing by the telephone in the living room in the library)

Rarity: Oh no you don’t, Twilight. As long as I’m house-sitting for you I’m going to be making some changes around this ghastly library, and I’m starting with your answering machine message. Now, let’s see…

(clears throat and pushes “record” button)

Rarity: (sing-songy voice) Why hello there! This is Rarity, house-sitting for Twilight Sparkle, so if you have any messages to her or Spike please leave a message at the Be-Eeep!

(clicks “delete” button)

Rarity: No no no. That won’t do. Doesn’t have enough…pizzaz. Hmmmm (strokes her chin). Let’s try this!

(clicks “record” button)

Rarity: Why hello, Ponyville! If you have any message for the lovely Miss Twilight Sparkle and her darling assistant, Spike, feel free to leave a message or two at the sound of a mechanical beep! Tah-tah!

(clicks “delete” button)

Rarity: Let’s pretend that I never said all that.

(clicks “record” button)

Rarity: Hello. This is Rarity housesitting. Twilight Sparkle. Spike. Messages. Beep. Now.

(clicks “stop recording” button)

Rarity: Now that, Rarity, is an answering machine message. So simple and straight to the point.

(Rarity leaves the living room.)

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: Wait wait. Rarity!? I wasn’t expecting this. Um, well, gah! Hold on. Gotta make this prank call work. I’ll call back.

(beep)

Pinkie Pie: Oh hi Rarity! This is your bestest friend in the whole wide world Pinkie Pie! I’m just calling my other bestest friend Twilight about…something, and, um…well phooey! I forgot why I’m calling her! Oh well, if I remember I’ll be sure to call back. Bye!

(beep)

Mayor: Oh, um, hello Miss Sparkle. This is the Mayor of Ponyville calling. I’m just calling, wondering if you can, um, convince Princess Celestia to provide more financial support for our town. Really! We still don’t have enough money to fix the Town Hall and Applejack winning the rodeo contest was our biggest chance, and we know how that went. It’s getting desperate, Miss Sparkle! Please get Princess to give us an aid! And if the dragon is listening to this message instead, um, don’t bother asking her. Just write to the Princess on your free will. You won’t get in trouble…trust me…because I’m the mayor.

(beep)

Spike: Oh hey Rarity. I’m not calling for any reason or another. I just love listening to your answering machine. (lovey dovey voice) Ooooh, so simple…so straight to the point.

Twilight Sparkle: (in background) Spike, who are you calling?

Spike: Oh um, um…Rainbow…Pie?

(beep)

Sweetie Belle: Oh hi, Rarity. This is your sister Sweetie Belle calling. Ummm, I just want you to know that I was at Apple Bloom’s house all day. Yup, never stepped foot inside your Boutique. So, um, if you see your sewing machine busted into pieces when you come home, just know that it has totally nothing to do with me, at all. Nope. Not one bit. See ya’!

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: Oh hello, Miss Rarity. This is Fashion Pony Magazine…thing. We just want to let you know that your suit has won the grand prize of some sort! Yes, this is real and not a prank…because we’re a world-famous Fashion Pony Magazine. To claim the prize, please cover yourself in dirt and stand in front of Carousel Boutique. And I don’t mean the kind you get at the spa. I mean the dirt found at the Sweet Apple Acre’s pig barn. That way we know for sure you’re Rarity and not some other pony posing as you. Thank you. This is Fashion Pony Magazine signing off.

(beep)

Spike: Hey Rarity. Again, I’m just calling to hear your answering machine message. Oh, you have such wonderful voice an…

Twilight Sparkle: (in background) Spike? Are you calling our phone again?

Spike: Ummm…I have no idea what you’re talking about, Twilight. I’m just calling, er…Snails! Yeah, I’m calling Snails to see if he has the notes from today’s class!

Twilight Sparkle: (in background) Spike, you don’t go to school.

Spike: Um, beep!...I mean…

(beep)

Pinkie Pie: Hi ya, Rarity! Okay, now I just remembered why I called. I needed to store my Party Cannon in the library because the Cakes were complaining that the noise it makes was waking up the twins, so I can’t use it here for the time being! As for where I placed it…um, Rarity, I wouldn’t use the bathroom if I were you.

(Off-screen, the toilet flushes and the party cannon sets off. Rarity is heard screaming)

Rarity: Aaaahhhh! How in Equestria did that dreadful cannon fit in there! Oh my mane, my beautiful mane! It’s going to take me at least five spa trips to get that cleaned up! Whhhyyyy meeee!? (Rarity starts bawling)

(beep)

END OF PART 4