Twilight's Answering Machine 3

All of the following are recordings from the answering machine and are voice only.

Twilight Sparkle: (singing to the tune of “Greatest American Hero” theme) Believe it or not, nobody is home. Please leave your message at the beep!

Spike: Seriously?

Twilight Sparkle: C’mon! It’s funny!

 (beep)

Princess Luna: (in Royal Canterlot Voice) SALUTATIONS, TWILIGHT SPARKLE! THIS IS YE ROYAL NIGHT PRINCESS LUNA! I AM CALLING IN REGARDS TO YOUR FRIEND APPLEJACK’S APPLE PIE. MY ROYAL SISTER HAST RETRIEVED A SLICE FROM HER LAST VISIT TO THY PONYVILLE AND THEY ARE DELICIOUS! THE DELICIOUSNESS HAST BEEN DOUBLED! WE HUMBLY REQUEST THAT YOU DELIVER MORE PIE IMMEDIATELY! THE PRINCESS HAST SPOKEN!

(beep)

Pinkie Pie: (laughing throughout) Oh hey Fluttershy. (heh heh heh) I just heard this REALLY funny joke (ha ha ha). See, there is this dolphin, and he walks into the bar (ha ha ha). Now, I don’t know how this dolphin can walk on land, but hear me out and…heh heh heh (bursts out laughing) HA HA HA HA HA. Okay, I don’t remember how the joke went, but it was really, really, really funny! (ha ha ha) Anyway, I gotta go! Aunt Pinkie’s gonna call Twilight and tell her all about this! Ooh, maybe I should throw a party about this. Celebrating the funniest joke in the world!

(beep)

Rainbow Dash: Hey, uh, Spike? It’s me, Rainbow Dash, who have totally never called on this phone before. Nope, never left a prank call to Twilight or anything. (cough) Anyway, I was just wondering. Do you know any guys? You know, colts? Stallions? …Boys? The gals at the weather factory are accusing me of being, um, in an unspeakable relationship with our pals, especially with Applejack for some reason. Anyway, I really want a coltfriend or something just to prove them wrong, but for some reason there aren’t that many guys around in Ponyville and, well, you’re cute but you’re not exactly my type. Maybe somepony that’s less…scaly. If I get really desperate, though, I’ll date pretty much anything that’s male. Hmmm, I wonder if Big Macintosh is single…

(beep)

Derpy Hooves: Hello, Twilight! It’s me, Derpy! I was just wondering if you have a book on muffins! I really love muffins and I want to try every single brand of muffins in the world! Do you have a book on muffin! You do? Nice job, Twilight Sparkle! So don’t mind me if I crash into your house. Rainbow Dash says it happens all the time anyway and you don’t seem to mind. Yay Applejack! Uh, I mean muffins. Yay muffins!

(beep)

Fluttershy: Um, hi? I just got a call from Pinkie and she kept calling me Twilight. Is my name Twilight now? If it is, I am so sorry that I took your name. I guess you can call yourself Fluttershy now just to make it even. Oh, I don’t know how I got your name by mistake. I’m terribly sorry about this. I’ll be sure to treat your name right, though. Um…(squeak)

(beep)

Scootaloo: Are you ready, Sweetie Belle?

Sweetie Belle: (in background) You bet, Scootaloo!

Scootaloo: Alright! Now one, and two, and three, and…

(drum music plays)

Scootaloo: (singing) Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh (yeah!) Jingle bells, jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride, in a one horse open sleigh yeah!

(music ends)

Scootaloo: Sorry about that, Twilight, but this was the only way I could get my song recorded, on the account of me using up all my allowance on the drumset. So I’ll just come over and get the tape from you. Hope you don’t mind! Maybe I can get a cutie mark for getting a hit song!

(beep)

(sound of gums gnawing on phone. This goes on for few seconds until…)

Pinkie: Okay, Gummy, that’s enough! SHLURP! (sound of phone yanked from mouth) Sorry about that, Fluttershy. I was teaching Gummy how to talk on the phone, and he still needs work on that. Anyway, since when did you and Twilight switch phones? Why didn’t you tell me!? I could’ve thrown a “Phone Switching” party to celebrate! It sounds SOOO fun. I’d switch phones with Rainbow Dash, but Mr. Cake threatened to shave my mane and serve it in a cupcake if I tried to mangle with the telephone wires again. Oh that Carrot Cake, such a kidder!

(beep)

END OF PART 3