Deadpool Vs. Bronies

Issue #7

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Equestria...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzbLJ92QOj8

___________________________________________________________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9s4fuOL3FM

And so they walked out of the apartment. Deadpool was wearing a large sombrero over that knit cap he bought for himself during Issue #3 so that he could wear it without Weasel complaining, as he wanted one like that. He was also wearing a weird kind of suit, the sort you'd see either gangsters or freelance news reporters wear... I think. Weasel was wearing what he was wearing before. A grey hoodie over a black shirt, and some jeans. Oh, and the glasses. We can't forget about the glasses. Oh, and remember when he used to have blue ha-

{GET ON WITH IT!}

Lyra was wearing the black knit cap Deadpool bought, along with a black hoodie over a grey shirt and some jeans. Deadpool, lacking imagination, just made her wear something similar to Weasel's. I wonder why he didn't just put something like that on... they could've been the 'Hoodie gang.'

[Because you're writing this, and you decided he was wearing a sombrero.]

Ugh.

"So what kind of work were you looking for?" Weasel asked Lyra.

"Something simple. One with nice people, easy work, and fair pay rate. Then after that, I can find a better job."

"Well, lemme tell ya, it's hard to find that kind of work if you haven't studied," Deadpool said, "I once worked at Stark Industries, you know."

"Until they immediately noticed your red mask over scientist clothing and booted you out," said Weasel.

"There is one place I haven't looked at before..." Deadpool said, "I hear it's kind of new..."

"Well, what is it?" Lyra asked.

"You ready for this?" Deadpool asked.

"I'm not gonna know till you tell me what it is!" Lyra replied.

"It is called..." Deadpool said, then paused for dramatic effect.

"Deadpool-" Weasel said.

"SSHHH!" Deadpool shushed.

"A LIGHTBULB factory!" Deadpool finally exclaimed.

Weasel scratched his head. "If you say so..."
_______________________________________________________________

A few minutes later...
_______________________________________________________________

"That didn't take as long as I thought it would..." Weasel noted. They took a look at the factory.

To say the least... it looked like some person had bought a factory, gave it some sort of unnecessary customization to their likeness, and made it look like he was bragging about how successful he is. There was... like... steam coming out of it... and... a sort of... weird blue lettering was placed on it that made it look kinda nice, but the font made it unstable... if that makes sense. Speaking of which, the lettering said 'LiveLight Lightbulbs.'

"So, shall we go in?" Deadpool asked.

"Uh... sure..." Lyra said. Not quite the occupation she imagined, but if it fits her criteria, she'll do it.

When they entered, they saw it was kinda weird. There were sounds of work around here, but they were in some sort of... room. You know those entrance room sort of things where it's kinda... extravagant, like it leads to a town hall? Yeah. There was a nice blue carpet leading to a double-door entrance, curtains wrapped over windows, and a sort of counter that looks like some sort of store would be held behind there, only there are lightbulbs, and it was all complete with a guy in a white dress shirt and jeans, with a light-bulb hat all over his head, hiding his identity. Lyra wondered if he was even able to see through the hat.

"Uh... hi, sir..." Lyra greeted.

The man waved.

{We're seeing a bunch of eccentric character, aren't we?}

"Why d'you wear that thing on your head?" Deadpool asked.

The man shrugged.

"Why do you not know?"

The man hesitated, then shrugged again.

"I see your hesitation!" Deadpool exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at him, "This directly contradicts your inability to know why you are wearing a light-bulb hat as if you had something to hide!

[Not as eccentric as our own Wadey.]

The man sighed, then finally used his voice, answering, "Because this is a light-bulb factory, and I'm selling lightbulbs... sir."

Deadpool tilted his head, "This is a factory, not a store..."

"Exactly. Some bulbs get shipped out to people, and others get put here in case anyone wants them."

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Deadpool asked, desperately, for some reason.

"You say that to a lot of people, Deadpool," Weasel interjected, "And most of the time, you don't know them."

"Yes, listen to that guy with the glasses. He should know much more about these things than you do," the man said.

Weasel frowned, "Did you say I was smart just because I wore glasses?"

"I don't know, did I?" And then he paused for a moment, as if he was making some sort of face, but forgot it was completely hidden, and put on some sort of innocent sounding voice, "I didn't mean to..."

"Uh oh..." Deadpool said, "Baby Doll somehow found her way into Marvel and became a man! Or maybe it's- No, that one was the other way around, and first she was quiet, then perky, but still murderous..."

"That's not a very useful reference," The man said, "Unless they really study those films. Which don't really deserve much studying. It's really just, 'Pick a sort of person, give them some sort of trait, appearance, personality or both, give them a signature weapon or power, and some simple and/or creepy name."

"Weasel, why are they talking about slashers?" Lyra asked.

"Lyra, why do you have slashers in your world?" Weasel replied, lowering his voice so the man didn't get suspicious.

"I know, right?" Deadpool said, "They made Jason like hockey, Norman Bates like taxidermy, and Patrick ba-"

"Psycho isn't a slasher," The man said, "I should know, I watched it with my former girlfriend once. It's a thriller film."

"Can we at least call AMERICAN Psycho a slasher?" Wade asked.

"Sure. It's like a horror comedy, only funny."

"Is that a raincoat?" Deadpool asked.

"...I'm not wearing a- Ohhhh, I see," The man said, before proceeding to clear his throat, then reciting, rather loudly, "Yes, it is!"

"Best film ever!" Deadpool declared.

"I preferred X-Men Origins," The man said.

"WHAT!? Why!?" Deadpool calmly inquired.

"...Uh.... didn't think you'd actually ask why... Because... I can," He announced.

Deadpool looked at him for a moment. "You know who I am, right?"

"Not really."

"Why not? I'm on the news, like, every other Tuesday! Everyone knows who the greatest mercenary and assassin is!"

"Deathstroke?"

"Alright, that's it," Deadpool said, "YOU'RE TAKING THIS TOO FAR!"

"What am I taking too far?" The man asked.

"You obviously know who I am, and you're trying to annoy me, but there's just one problem... you can't know who Deathstroke is, he doesn't exist here!"

"I read your mind."

Deadpool stared at the man for a while.

"Deadpool, what's wrong?" Weasel asked.

"He knew what I was thinking, somehow..." Deadpool muttered, before sniffing, then, speaking louder, "But I gotta know this guy from somewhere!" Deadpool said, pulling a gun out of his holster, aiming it at the man's head, and shot the top of the light-bulb hat off.

Now, of course, Lyra was going to do the rational thing here and scream in surprised fear, but first off, she had to think of a reason why he'd do that. Maybe he's a superhero. Maybe he's a problem-solver. Maybe he's played too many video games. Or maybe... he's really dangerous to be around.

Realizing that the latter two were just about correct, she finally screamed in surprised fear.

Because the lightbulb hat was really big, the top of the hat, where Deadpool assumed the forehead would be, was not where the forehead was. It was above the man's hair. Of course, now the hat was broken glass. After realizing this, Deadpool then made an assumption that the glass shards went into the man's skull. It's a very morbid thought, but would be the logical conclusion.

However, the person proceeded to take the hat off, turned it upside down to let the glass shards out, and handed the hat over to Deadpool. He had a look at it, and saw that the lightbulb hat had a sort of guard that was obviously used to protect the man's head. It even had a few small shards still in it, making it safe to assume that that was what saved him. Deadpool scowled at the hat, and then looked at the man.

The man had brown, short, unkempt hair, almost pure blue eyes, and a stubble. The dark circles under his eyes made it seem as though he had trouble sleeping. He also had a look of recognition and irritation on his face. True enough, he looked familiar to Deadpool.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Deadpool asked.

"You say that to a lot of pe- Hey, wait a minute, I think I've seen him from somewhere too..." Weasel realized.

Lyra didn't answer. She was still reacting to Deadpool's gunshot.

"Go on," The man said, "Where do you recognize me from?"

"...I don't know," Said Deadpool, "Must not have been important."

"It was about one or two days ago..." The man said, rubbing his eyes.

"...Did I kill you once?" Deadpool asked.

"Must've been the other way around, seeing how you're here..." The guy said.

"Oh, I know who it is!" Weasel exclaimed, "It's that guy, L-"

"Ssssh!" Deadpool shushed, "I can get it with clues from this guy... Now, come on, Creep-Man, or whatever your name is!"

"I met you on a S.H.I.E.L.D Helicarrier when you and Pinkie Pie were both on this Earth," He replied.

"Doesn't ring a bell..."

"After that, I helped a pony who was locked out of his own dimension take your place."

"Don't remember that..."

"You were in an alternate Equestria where people who wanted to drain your temporal energy, and I saved you once, but they got you the next time."

"I dunno about that..."

"You... went back to Earth after that... and Lyra came with you..." The man felt like giving up.

"Nope."

The man sighed, "You were wearing the red Deadpool suit you're wearing now..." He said, desperately.

"OH, NOW I REMEMBER!" Deadpool yelled, "Oh, and thanks a lot Weasel, you coulda just told me his name..."

"But I-" Weasel attempted.

"Nope, you have to buy the next bag of cheesy puffs, Weasel. Now, where were we?"

"The realization of where you recognize me from." The man said.

"Thanks. Now, your name is Live Light, the half assed self-insert!" Deadpool answered.

"...I'm sorry, what?" Light asked.

{No, seriously, the Author has been claiming he and this guy bear no relation since the last fic, besides them having the same name... but even Deadpool can tell he's a self-insert.}

He obviously doesn't know of my presence, White Voice Box, so we're obviously not the same person.

{Then why has he got the same name as you?}

What kind of pony name is Tyler?

{A stupid human one.}

There you go.

{What?}

"That hurt my feelings," Light continued, "Now we're both in the wrong."

"Hey, I'm less in the wrong than you, you like, threw me out of a place I was ready to leave, and now I couldn't go where I wanted to go!" Deadpool argued.

"I believe you're more in the wrong because you've done bad things a lot more times than I have. Plus, you made it here eventually, and I tried to help you out, right?" Light countered

"You gave me a pink gun!"

"It was a nice gun..." Light said, "And I'd like it back please..."

"I don't have it on me," Deadpool told him, "Go find it yourself.

Light stared at him. Lyra soon got a better idea of what was going on, and was wondering what Light was going to say back. Weasel wondered who to side with, but he really didn't like Light at the moment. Eventually, Light's expression turned into a sort of frown.

"Go get another one as soon as possible," Light requested.

"Get it yourself!" Deadpool re-requested.

"Maybe later," Light said, "Anyway, why are you here?"

"We're here to get Lyra a job here!" Deadpool said, indicating Lyra by pointing at her.

"...'kay." Light accepted.

"Uh... I'm not sure if I-" Lyra began.

"So, yeah, go ring your boss or somethin', get the interview going," Deadpool interrupted, "And make it snappy."

"...'kay." Light replied, walking rather slowly to the phone on the desk, pressing in the number, and holding it to his ear. A vibrating noise was heard, until Light took his mobile phone out of the pocket, and answered it.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Bye." He said, parting ways with Light's mobile phone, then putting the telephone down.

"What a handsome young man," He said to himself, and put his mobile phone into his pocket.

Everyone sort of stared at him.

{I don't know why... but I think someone's trying to make him the highlight of this fic suddenly...}

[Freakin' self-inserts always getting what they want and looking all black/red and having a horn and wings and being overpowered and getting negative reception and for some reason existing in My Immortal and-]

"You know," Weasel said, breaking the awkward silence," You could have just told us you were the boss..."

"But he's not the boss!" Deadpool argued, "He was the mascot store owner, he just swiped the Boss's mobile phone so he could call himself and make him feel loved!"

"He's obviously just showing off," Weasel told him.

"Guys, I don't like this idea anymore..." Lyra said.

"Okay everyone, follow me," Light said, walking towards the door, "We'll begin the interview."

They followed him through the door, and they were kind of confused when they saw a blank and gritty corridor leading to a single door. Lyra guessed the sounds of work were coming from the room they were going to walk through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uZe06XuwRM

It wasn't. It looked like a makeshift living room, with couches, comfy chairs with pillows, a bed, and, to make it seem more industrial and perhaps 'smart,' a desk in the back of the room, complete with work chair. Deadpool, Lyra and Weasel looked around the place, seeming a whole lot more confused. They looked around the room, and, after Light sat down on the work chair, noticed that there was a stereo machine sitting on the desk. As soon as Light pressed a button on it, all the sounds of work immediately stopped.

"Mister... uh..." Lyra began, before realizing she'd forgotten the man's name.

"Live Light," He said, "At your service..."

"Mister Light..." Lyra said, "What service exactly? There's uh... nothing here..."

"Yes there is," Light told her, "You saw me back there, that's what it's all about. This is a place for light bulbs, after all, isn't it?"

"A factory, if I recall," Weasel added, "Which... this looks like, but obviously isn't... care to explain why?"

"I don't work in factories," Light explained, "I don't want to lose an appendage. Stores are a bit easier. Plus, I wonder if it's a good idea to settle down in Earth rather than just go around the place..."

"But what I mean is, how come this is just a store... or living room, but not a factory like it looks like?" Weasel asked, "You even have a big sign up there!"

Light looked a bit uncomfortable, "That's not really important... I'll just say that nobody knows I live here... so really, it's not an effective store, I guess..."

"Then what's the point?" Deadpool asked, "Are you a light bulb loon or something? Do light bulbs fascinate you? Do you wish you had a light bulb family member or sister, or better yet, wish you were a light bulb?"

Light looked extremely uncomfortable, and a little bit hostile, "No I don't, you weirdo! Out of all of us, you're the loon, not me!"

"Well tell me," Deadpool implored, "WHY THE LIGHT BULBS!?"

"...I don't know, I kinda like them... you know that thing when cartoon characters have ideas and light bulbs show up above their head?"

"Yeah, sure, that happens to me all the time!" Deadpool said, recalling that time he had to find someone he was hired to kill, and they were hiding, and he'd suddenly came up with an idea of what to eat tomorrow from that day, and then the guy he was trying to kill threw a light bulb at his head. Good days.

"I just like those moments, I guess..." Light said, shrugging.

{Plus, the Author has that as his avatar, doesn't he?}

Oh, and I guess you're gonna say I used it for the same reason?

[But you did.]

I didn't, I said they were brains!

"So uh..." Deadpool said, realizing something just now... then losing his train of thought because he was afraid a light bulb was gonna be thrown at his face. Everyone in the room looked at him expectantly, and he suddenly remembered, "Right, so anyway, 'cause you... have no job here... how's Lyra gonna work for you?"

"She isn't," Light said, "I just want to know what you're gonna do about your situation."

"Since when do you care?" Deadpool asked with hostility.

"Since you brought yourselves and a pony into another dimensional shenanigan. This entire thing is a shenanigan, and I don't like it," He told him, "Do something about it."

"Mister Light," Lyra interjected, "I still haven't seen Earth yet..."

"I'll give you a globe," Light offered.

"But then I can't see the inhabitants! That'd be pointless, wouldn't it?"

Light looked slightly guilty, as though he remembered something, "Right... well, you guys had better get her home as soon as she's satisfied, okay?"

"You got it, Dead Grue!" Deadpool said, saluting, "We'll be on our way back to Planet Earth, you take care now!" And so he walked off, dragging Lyra by the arm. Lyra looked panicked as they both left the room.

"...Dead Grue?" Light asked no-one in particular, not realizing Weasel was still in the room. Realizing only he and Light were in the room, and how Light was wondering when Lyra was going to go back, Weasel had an idea.

"Light, d'you think I could ask you a few questions?" Weasel asked a question.

"I don't think I can, but we'll see. Ask a question besides the question you just asked."

"Why exactly are you here? Did you know about Lyra leaving?" Weasel asked another question.

"Hmm, well, I did know, and I was intending to find her and bring her back..." Light admitted, "But I don't think she'd want to talk to a random stranger wearing a light-bulb hat..." he grimaced, then shrugged, "Then again, maybe she'd think of it as an opportunity to meet new people."

"So, us meeting you here was a lucky coincidence?"

"Pretty much," Light agreed, "I can't just put things where I want to, especially not this building..."

{I know someone who can.}

Yes. Of course. It's me. Because I'm the person writing it. It's bloody common sense.

"So... uh... d'you still want her to get home?" Weasel asked.

"Well, yeah, everypony was worried sick, last time I checked..." Light answered.

"Then... how would you to tag along and help us with this stuff?"

{OH COME ON! YOU'RE MAKING HIM A MAIN CHARACTER NOW!?}

I'm making him a supporting character, like Weasel and Lyra are. Deadpool's the main character here.

[Yo, guys, it's hard to tell when to look at the Author's words, y'know? 'Cause it just looks like plain and ordinary text...]

What about now?

{Show-off.}

After a bit of consideration, Light thought of his answer.

"Maybe not."
_______________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile in Deadpool's apartment...

Six colourfully dressed women slowly walked around a hallway. Leading them was a hyper-active party expert who is secretly Pinkie Pie in disguise. Well, not a disguise, all of them, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack were all truly ponies, but due to some weird temporal laws, they're humans on Planet Earth.

Pinkie was dressed in a manner quite similar to when she first arrived at Earth, with a pink T-shirt and jeans. As if temporal laws were unimaginative with clothing (And for some reason, actually bothered to put clothing on people), the others wore basically the same thing as Pinkie, albeit with different colours. Rarity was extremely put off by this, as she would rather be wearing something fashionable than casual. Now she felt like she was dressed as if she wasn't taking this sort of thing seriously. I mean, really, of all the things she could be wearing, it had to be simple things, and it certainly wasn't elegant, no no, it was mediocre, it was destroying my style, what is wrong with the-

"Rarity, yer thinkin' aloud again," Applejack said.

"I'm aware, Applejack," She responded. Applejack raised an eyebrow.

"It's right here!" Pinkie said, standing next to a door.

"You're certain this is where Deadpool lives?" Twilight asked in a hushed voice, getting an enthusiastic nod from Pinkie. "Okay. Let's not surprise them, we don't want to come across as hosti-"

"SURPRIIIIISE!" Pinkie sang, pushing the door open suddenly. Fluttershy yelped and covered her ears, which she missed at first, seeing how the ears seemed to be in a different place than they usually are, and a bit smaller too.

Twilight sighed, expecting a frightened scream coming from the room.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Anybody home?" Pinkie Pie asked the room.

She appeared to be listening, then nodded.

"They're not home!" Pinkie announced.

"...You sure about that?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Maybe they're just being quiet..." Pinkie shook her head, as if having to teach a student something they should already know.

"They're not making that sort of quiet sound, Dashie!" She responded, "They're making the sort of 'non-existant' quiet sound. So obviously, they don't exist here, they exist somewhere else!"

"...So what yer tryin' t'say is..." Applejack began, "They're not home?"

"Mm-hm!" Pinkie responded, nodding her head for the third time.

"Well, that's perfect..." Twilight said, "Maybe we should wait until they come back, and we'll be able to talk to them and make sure they can't run off?"

"Sounds like a plan!" Rainbow agreed.

"If we must," Rarity said.

"Sure, ah can wait!" Applejack agreed.

"Okay..." Fluttershy acquiesced.

{Apparently you spelt that right.}

Didn't you here Pinkie Pie? You don't exist here. You exist over THERE! Earth-ling.

{...Wah.}
_______________________________________________________________________

To be continued in the next issue!

{Of The Adventures of Live Light and Boy Wonder Deadpool!}

...What?

[HA HA HA!]

Author's Notes:

Yeah... this took a while. But I've done it now.

Hope you enjoy.

By the way, this isn't actually gonna become The Adventures of Live Light and Boy Wonder Deadpool. Light's not gonna be in the next one. Just... in a few issues, maybe.